Chris Hardwick's Blog, page 2260

Watch Lightning-Fast Rubik’s Cube-Solving Machine Set New World Record

There’s no music to go along with the above video of the new world record for fastest solve of a Rubik’s Cube set by a machine, but if there were, we imagine it would go something like this: “Anything you can do, robots can do better/ Robots can do anything better than you.”

German technology company Infineon Technologies has updated its Rubik’s Cube-solving machine, “Sub1 Reloaded,” with a new computer chip (presumably the reason for the “Reloaded” tag), and as a result it has demolished the previous world record, which was held by—wait for it—Infineon’s previous generation Rubik’s Cube-solving machine.

The video of the insanely fast solve, which comes via Live Science, shows Infineon’s machine solving the Cube in a literally-blink-and-you-will-miss-it time of 0.637 seconds. The previous record was 0.887 seconds—pfft, almost anybody could solve it that fast (if they had the Robot Devil’s hands from Futurama.)

This new world record is, of course, significantly faster than the current world record held by a human, which was recently set by 20-year-old Dutchman Mats Valk at 4.74 seconds. Pretty fast for a pair of meat mittens, but way too slow to even come close to Infineon’s machine.

Infineon doesn’t only plan on solving Rubik’s Cubes with its technology however. Their main focus is actually on self-driving vehicle technology, as well as “making tomorrow’s… factories and homes smart, secure and energy-efficient.” In a statement associated with the new world record, Infineon said that the same technology used in the Sub1 Reloaded—including the microcontroller AURIX, an ultra-powerful minicomputer—is critical for autonomous driving. This makes a lot of sense because Sub1 Reloaded needs to have super fast problem solving and reaction times, and so too should autonomous vehicles.

What do you think about Infineon’s Sub1 Reloaded and the new world record for fastest machine-solved Rubik’s Cube? Are you excited by the idea of having this technology implanted in autonomous vehicles? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below!

Images: Infineon Technologies AG

Marvel’s THE INHUMANS Are Coming to TV and IMAX Theaters in 2017

It was just last week that Marvel Studios’ chief Kevin Feige said that the delayed Inhumans film, which was originally supposed to come out in 2019, could still be coming at some point down the line, but he didn’t sound too enthusiastic about the prospect. He said “I think they’re doing something with the Inhumans on TV”, which led many to assume that he was referring to the Inhuman characters on ABC’s Agents of SHIELD. Turns out…something much bigger and cooler was on the way.

It’s just been announced, via Marvel.com, that Marvel Television and Disney/ABC Television have come together for what they’re calling an “innovative agreement” to exclusively premiere the new ABC series Marvel’s The Inhumans in IMAX commercial theaters, marking the first time a live-action television series has debuted in this manner.

Due to this new arrangement, a version of the first two episodes of Marvel’s The Inhumans, which will be filmed entirely with IMAX digital cameras, will run worldwide exclusively in IMAX for two weeks at the beginning of September 2017. ABC plans to then premiere the weekly series in fall, with additional exclusive content that can only be seen on the network.

According to Marvel’s official press release, “the Inhumans are a race of superhumans with diverse and singularly unique powers, and were first introduced in Marvel Comics by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby in 1965. Since that time, they have grown in prominence and become some of the most popular and iconic characters in the Marvel Universe. Marvel’s The Inhumans will explore the never-before-told epic adventure of Black Bolt and the royal family.”

That right there is our first confirmation that the new Inhumans TV show will deal with the royal family, who are the subject of the majority of most Inhumans comics since the species first appeared in the pages of Fantastic Four. The royal family and its members have not been seen on Agents of SHIELD, and the long prevailing theory was they were being saved for a feature film. Now we know the plans are far more expansive.

Living in the secret city of Attilan, which has been located in hidden mountain regions, and eventually on the moon, the royal family consists of the King Black Bolt, whose voice can crush mountains, so he must remain forever silent; his wife Medusa, whose long hair can obey her commands; Karnak, a martial artist who can find the weakness in anything and then use his training and strength to exploit it; Black Bolt’s cousin Gorgon, who has the ability to generate seismic shockwaves via bull-like legs and hooves; the amphibious Triton, another cousin; Medusa’s sister Crystal, who is an elemental; and the brother of Black Bolt, Maximus the Mad, who has designs on his sibling’s throne. The family is usually accompanied by the giant teleporting canine, Lockjaw. (I can’t wait to see how they pull of a giant bulldog on TV).

An Inhumans TV show has the potential to be Marvel’s very own Game of Thrones, as much of the comics have revolved around struggles for the benevolent Black Bolt to keep the throne of Attilan out of the hands of his brother, Maximus. The political intrigue could provide many seasons worth of drama and intrigue if done the right way, and with the right showrunners behind the helm.

Of course, unlike Agents of SHIELD, the Inhumans is going to be a tad more expensive to produce, as their powers and appearances can be pretty out there. It’ll be interesting to see how they can pull off Medusa’s living hair on a weekly basis for example, and Triton is basically a head-to-toe green amphibian man. Will they change these characteristics to make the show more palatable for an ABC audience? I certainly hope they are going to be as faithful to the comics as Marvel Studios has been with their characters on the feature film side of things.

Are you guys out there stoked for an Inhumans TV series? What would you like to see from from this unique rollout for Marvel’s royal family of weirdos? Let us know down below in the comments.

Images: Marvel Comics

Let’s get a bit Strange in the Marvel Universe!

LUCIFER Cast Reveals Why Season 2 Will Pay ‘Homage’ to BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER

If you, along with most pop culture-loving nerds, miss watching new episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer every week, then it’s about time that you check out Lucifer.

Fox’s drama about the devil (Tom Ellis) vacating his throne in Hell and retiring to Los Angeles has really hit its stride in season two, playing more into the comedy as well as the heart wrenching drama. And according to one of the show’s stars, it’s about to pay homage to Joss Whedon’s iconic series in an upcoming episode.

“[I’m excited for] episode 8,” Aimee Garcia told us on set in Vancouver. “I think that it gives almost an homage to Buffy the Vampire [Slayer].”

It’s funny that she name dropped that particular series, since one of Lucifer‘s stars was actually a major part of the final season! DB Woodside, who plays Amenadiel on Lucifer, starred as Principal Robin Wood in season seven of Buffy, and he agrees that his Fox series is starting to feel a lot like Buffy in recent episodes.

“The network was really struggling with how to promote this show, knowing what it really was,” Woodside said. “There’s no show on television like it. We’re the modern day Buffy where we do comedy and then we can spin it and do hardcore drama and then at the same time, horror and this kind of supernatural thing that we do. We feel really comfortable in that now, knowing that we don’t have to be one thing. In television nowadays, that’s so hard. Everyone wants to identify a show as this is what it is. So when you have a show that doesn’t aspire to be one thing, I think it confuses people because we become a little bit overly simplistic and this show refuses to do that. We are what we are. There is no other show on TV like us and we’re proud of that. We hope people will continue to watch and I believe they will.”

According to Garcia, who plays LAPD’s spiritual forensic scientist Ella, episode 8 is her heaviest episode yet.

“You get to see her relationship with Lucifer unfold,” Garcia shared. “For most people, Lucifer is a panty-dropper. Let’s just call it what it is: he’s charming, he’s hot, looks great in a suit, that accent is out of control, so you look at him and you’re like, put a baby inside me. But with Ella, what I love about her, she’s not immune in the way that Chloe’s [Lauren German] immune, but she just gets all up in there, has no sense of personal space and just ends up hugging him. What I love is that he trusts her, he asks her for a favor, and for the first time in this episode, she puts her job on the line for him for this favor that he calls on, and she’s like come clean with me. We see a different relationship. ‘I need you tell me the truth.’ Does he tell her the truth like he just did with Dr. Linda [Rachael Harris] or does he not?”

Lucifer shocked viewers in the past two episodes when he decided to come clean to Linda about his true identity as the devil, and Ellis reveals that his reckless decision to tell the truth will have far-reaching consequences for every character on the show moving forward.

“That was quite literally one of the most exposing moments on this show so far,” Ellis confessed. “But also emotionally, for Lucifer, it was an exposing moment where he just made this decision to show the person that he trusts and to not get the reaction he was hoping for leaves him in a place where for the first time, he’s playing catch up. He wants to go back to Linda and in typical Lucifer style, doesn’t really want to talk about the elephant in the room because he’d rather just crack on with life. So he’s very, very exposed and vulnerable.”

He continued, “What he realizes is he’s turned her into a gibbering wreck and it’s not until the intervention of Maze [Lesley-Ann Brandt] that Linda gets some kind of light on that subject. The reality of it becomes a different thing and she’s left with a choice. It’s really good for the show that at least one of our human characters really does understand and believe for the right reasons. It’s not about faith, it’s about actuality. Further down the road, I think there may be some regrets there.”

And as for how this revelation is going to rock Linda’s world moving forward, Harris had only this to say: “Her mind is completely blown.”

According to Brandt, Maze is going to play a huge role in helping Linda adjust to her new worldview, knowing that the devil and demons and Hell are all real, and that is going to change their dynamic in a big and surprising way.

“Those scenes are my favorite in the season so far because it explores the need for this very strong female character to fit in and be accepted,” Brandt shared. “Especially after episode 4, she learns about sisterhood and female friendships and what it is to be there for someone or to have your friends be proud of you, and ultimately that’s all she wants her friend to do and be. There’s a selfishness that Maze feels to what Lucifer did by revealing himself. She bares a cross for his decisions. She always has to come in and save the day. That gets tiring. Like any friend who feels a little not appreciated, that’s going to hit and there’s going to be some issues going forward, for sure.”

But at least Maze has now found a new calling as a bounty hunter.

“The bounty hunting is cool because Maze has found a way to hunt, a legal hunt, essentially,” Brandt said with a laugh. “People who are seen by humanity as bad, she’s still very much a demon and if she had the choice between torture for bad or torture for good, she’d choose torture over whatever any day. But she’s going to find her new purpose on Earth because she can’t go home. She used that ticket up at the end of the first season. It makes her feel good, it gives her a sense of confidence, but moving forward, she still is going to struggle with finding her feet as a demon.”

What did you think of Lucifer‘s big reveal? Tweet me your thoughts at @SydneyBucksbaum!

Lucifer airs Mondays at 9 p.m. on Fox.

Images: Fox

STAR TREK: THE ANIMATED SERIES Proved the Mission Could Live On (Blu-ray Review)

Each and every episode of Gene Roddenberry‘s Star Trek began with William Shatner‘s Captain James T. Kirk waxing philosophical about the voyages of the starship Enterprise, and its five year mission. Now, we know, that the mission ended on television after 80 episodes and only three years. And, let’s be fair, the third season–itself a stay of execution following massive write-in protests from fans–was pretty lacking in the storytelling department. Luckily for Trek fans, the early ’70s gave us Star Trek: The Animated Series, now out on Blu-ray, and it’s got the kind of writing we deserved for live-action.

For many years, it seemed to me that The Animated Series was the bastard, unloved sibling to the original series, doing little more than bridge a gap until the movie series began in 1979. Paramount has given it a Blu-ray release, which means I’ve had reason to watch it more than as a casual curiosity. Guys, it’s truly terrific. Produced by Filmation, the show which has the unruly official name of Star Trek The Animated Series: The Animated Adventures of Gene Roddenberry’s Star Trek brought together many of the writers of the original series, and most of the cast as well, to give us further adventures where no man has gone before.

I say most of the cast; famously, Filmation and Paramount didn’t want to spend the money for everybody, so the series contains no Chekhov. However, Walter Koenig was given the opportunity to write an episode–“The Infinite Vulcan”–which makes up for the slight somewhat. In fact, because William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, DeForest Kelley, James Doohan, Nichelle Nichols, George Takei, and Majel Barrett were all brought in to reprise their roles in the series, there wasn’t much budget for other voices. Save a few guest stars for larger parts, Doohan, Nichols, Barrett, and Takei all played multiple characters. Doohan and Barrett even did double regular duty as both their original characters of Scotty and Nurse Chapel, and new alien crew members Arex (the three-armed, three-legged helmsman), and M’Ress (the feline engineering officer), respectively.

Having the cast there to reprise their roles gives STTAS:TAAOGRST a verisimilitude it might not otherwise–cartoon spinoffs of the era were notoriously shoddy–but what really makes the show feel like legitimate Star Trek are the stellar (pun intended) scripts. Star Trek: TOS‘ script editor D.C. Fontana was brought in as Associate Producer and script editor for the animated adventures, and there’s a very real sense of trying to continue the same show in another medium. She also wrote the series’ second episode, “Yesteryear,” which is one of the best episodes of Star Trek, in any series or medium.

“Yesteryear” begins with Kirk and Spock returning from another time-travel research mission with the help of the Guardian of Forever (seen in the season one episode, “City on the Edge of Forever,” the second best episode ever IMO) to find that none of the crew remembers Spock at all, and indeed the Enterprise has a new first officer, the Andorian Commander Thelin. After some research, it’s revealed that whatever their expedition did, it resulted in Spock dying at the age of 7 in an accident our Spock remembers being rescued from. He decides to go back through the Guardian to Vulcan and see if he can save himself from death, under the guise of a relative, Selek.

This is a legitimately beautiful episode and introduced many concepts and visuals around Spock’s childhood that were reused later in other media. And while “Yesteryear” stands out as the only true masterpiece of the bunch, other follow-ups, like “More Tribbles, More Troubles,” and “Mudd’s Passion,” are worthy continuations of their live-action storylines. Furthermore, the animated series was able to do many things live-action couldn’t for budgetary reasons. The episode “The Survivor” has the crew finding a long-missing starfleet hero, only to learn that he’s an alien shapeshifter, who in reality looks like a floating squid. “The Infinite Vulcan” has our heroes meeting a 40-foot-tall version of Spock, created by sentient plants; “The Magicks of Megas-tu” has the crew come face to face with Lucien, an alien entity who is the actual precursor to humanity’s vision of the Devil himself. These are big ideas, and most succeed admirably in a way most of Star Trek season three didn’t.

The Blu-ray set has each of the episodes looking and sounding absolutely pristine. The colors pop and the transfer is clean and crisp. The downside of the set is that all of the extras are SD ports over from the DVD release several years ago, and none of those were great to begin with. So, while there are still some good audio commentaries and very informative text commentaries, the 25-minute making-of and a brief thing about how TAS connects to other series are, despite being fine for a decade ago, feel like more of a throwaway.

That said, I could not have been more impressed by the actual episodes in Star Trek: The Animated Series, and they were the perfect respite to some of the more unsavory things happening in the world. It reminds us that there can be positive, uplifting, and forward-thinking science fiction series, amid all the bleak apocalypse narratives out there. Star Trek is us at our most curious, most tolerant, and most together, and for a show aimed at a Saturday morning kids crowd, The Animated Series gives us all we could hope for.

4 burritos out of 5

Images: Paramount/Filmation

Kyle Anderson is the Associate Editor for Nerdist and a major sci-fi fanatic. You can find his film and TV reviews here. Follow him on Twitter!

For another sci-fi vision, check out why Valerian should have you excited.

Watch A Tribe Called Quest Honor Phife Dawg on SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE

If you needed a reason to smile in the face of sadness, A Tribe Called Quest has your back. The hip-hop group took over Saturday Night Live and did a moving tribute to Phife Dawg in the process. That’s not the only thing the music world is chatting about. Apple AirPods are pushed back to a farther release date, Sting reopened the Bataclan in Paris, Alicia Keys shared a beautiful music video with her family, and Leonard Cohen’s son posted a moving tribute to his father online.

There’s plenty to talk about from this weekend’s episode of Saturday Night Live, but undoubtedly the biggest music moment came from A Tribe Called Quest. The hip-hop legends took the stage to perform music off their first album in 18 years. Phife Dawg passed away earlier this year, and in a moving tribute, they busted out shirts in his name, a giant painted mural with him on it, and turned the microphone to his 2D face for him to rap his lines on “We the People.” Onlookers in person and at home (or maybe just me) got teary-eyed during the number. It was moving and uplifting, the exact rally cry for unity that America needs right now as it divides itself over politics. Watch footage above and then head to NBC’s website to see the other song they performed, “The Space Program,” which saw Busta Rhymes come onstage to lay down guest verses.

Good news for people who love their headphone jack: Apple’s newest product, Apple AirPods, are delayed. The wireless in-ear headphones were originally slated to be purchased in October for $159, but now they may not even be out in time for Christmas. They’re being produced in December, which means even if they built and packaged the AirPods in a month’s time, they wouldn’t be ready until January of 2017 at the earliest. Breathe a sigh of relief, music fans, but don’t forget that the newest iPhone 7 will require the use of wireless headphones no matter what. [Consequence of Sound]

In re-opening the Bataclan, we have two important tasks to reconcile. First, to remember and honour those who lost their lives in the attack a year ago, and second to celebrate the life and the music that this historic theatre represents. In doing so we hope to respect the memory as well as the life affirming spirit of those who fell. We shall not forget them.

A photo posted by Sting (@theofficialsting) on Nov 12, 2016 at 12:25pm PST

In November of 2015, the Paris terror attacks shocked the world. The start of it all, a shooting at music venue Bataclan where 89 people were killed during an Eagles of Death Metal concert, became the image of the attack. One day before the one-year anniversary of the shooting, Sting performed at Bataclan, marking the first show on its stage since then and the proper reopening of the venue. “We have two tasks: to honor victims who lost their lives and to honor music and life,” Sting said onstage, then adding in French, “We will not forget them.” That we will not. [Rolling Stone]

On Friday of last week, Alicia Keys released her first album in four years, Here. The album focuses on family themes, political struggles, and racial tension, showing her dive into some tough terrain with impressive confidence. Arguably the happiest song off the LP, “Blended Family (What You Do for Love)” which features A$AP Rocky, just got a proper music video and it elevates the song to new heights. In the clip, her own “blended” family plays, showing the beauty of a multiracial marriage and that love has no color. It’s a deeper understanding of compassion, support, and family, and all the various forms they can take. Check it out above and then send a message to your own family letting them know you love them, too. [Rolling Stone]

Leonard Cohen passed away this week and many were stunned by the loss of yet another true music icon. Cohen’s son, Adam, took to Facebook on November 13 to share thoughts about his father. “There’s so much I wish I could thank him for, just one last time,” he wrote. “I’d thank him for the comfort he always provided, for the wisdom he dispensed, for the marathon conversations, for his dazzling wit and humor. I’d thank him for giving me, and teaching me to love Montreal and Greece. And I’d thank him for music; first for his music which seduced me as a boy, then for his encouragement of my own music, and finally for the privilege of being able to make music with him. Thank you for your kind messages, for the outpouring of sympathy and for your love of my father.” To say the least, it’s moving. Read it in full above. [Entertainment Weekly]

See you back here on Wednesday for another Music Dispatch!

Image: Saturday Night Live/NBC

How the New BEAUTY AND THE BEAST Fixes the Classic’s Biggest Plot Holes

The newest trailer for Disney‘s live-action remake of Beauty and the Beast just showed up and said bonjour to all of our inner princesses. From wilting roses to ravenous wolves, this looks like the spot-on update of the animated classic we’ve all been pining for. But no matter how much we love the ’91 original we can admit it has a few plot holes. Luckily it looks like the folks at Disney are well aware of them too, and are doing a little bit of a rewrite on the tale as old as time.

In the prologue of Beauty and the Beast, the narrator explains that the prince has until his 21st birthday to undo the curse that transformed him into the Beast. But later, in the “Be Our Guest” number, Lumiere laments “ten years we’ve been rusting, needing so much more than dusting.” When you do the math, you realize that the Beast was only eleven years old when he was transformed, which raises all kind of questions. Where are his parents? Why is a kid in charge on an entire castle? Isn’t the witch being a bit hard on an eleven year old? And most confusingly, why does the Prince look like an adult in all of his pre-transformation portraits?

Well, in this new trailer, we see a portrait of the Beast pre-transformation and he definitely looks like an age-appropriate little kid complete with parents. But even more interestingly, we see that while the Prince and his father have claw marks over their faces, his mother does not. We think this might a sign that the new movie will also be softening up the Beast’s character a little bit. In this version, his father will be the one to turn away the old beggar and bring the curse upon the castle. The prince being turned into the Beast will be an unfortunate side effect, making him less of a jerk and more of a sympathetic kid suffering for his father’s selfishness.

But what do you guys think? Will these new changes make this new Beauty and the Beast better than the original? Or is the story perfect just the way it is? Let us know in the comments.

Let’s Hope This LEGO-Go POWER RANGERS Set Becomes a Reality

Since its inception in 1993, the Power Rangers franchise has endured series after series and toy line after toyline. Next year, they will be rebooted once again for the big screen. If this latest LEGO Idea gets off the ground, fans will be able to let their nostalgia flag fly, this time in LEGO form.

User bruceywan has submitted his idea for the Command Center set from the first U.S. series, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. It would have a hologram (sticker) of the guiding spirit of the Rangers, Zordon, as well as the robot that keeps it running “smoothly,” Alpha-5.

The set would also come with LEGO figures of the entire team: Jason, Kimberly, Trini, Billy, and Zack. There are also two versions of Tommy in both his Green and White Power Ranger costumes (I am a Green Ranger fan myself. The Dragonzord was the coolest).

Remember, this set is still in the design phase. Bruceywan has 595 days to gather 10000 people in support of the idea for it to move to the next stage of development. If you would like to be a part of this process, you can do so here.

You can check out some more photos from this concept set in the gallery below.

With 23 seasons under its belt, Power Rangers has a plethora of characters and creatures to make for some great LEGO sets. Let’s help bruceywan know he has a great idea.

So what do you think? Are you going to show your support and get this Power Rangers concept to the next stage? What other versions of the series would you like to see get the LEGO treatment? Let me know on Twitter or morph into the comments below.

Images: Bruceywan/Lego Ideas, Saban, Inc.

GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY May Be the First Marvel Game From Telltale

Last year, Marvel and Telltale Games revealed that they are collaborating on an upcoming title, but declined to say which characters would take the spotlight in the game. Thanks to the recent SAG-AFTRA video game voiceover strike, we now know that the Marvel Telltale video game may feature the interstellar group of misfits known as the Guardians of the Galaxy.

Comic Book Movie broke the news that SAG-AFTRA has listed Guardians Of The Galaxy- The Video Game a.k.a. Blue Harvest as a Telltale Games project that has not struck a new deal with the union. (We’re not sure why “Blue Harvest” is part of that title, since it’s a reference to the fake name used during the production of Return of the Jedi, unless they wanted people to think it was a Star Wars game and be thrown off track.) The same report notes that the Guardians of the Galaxy game is being developed by O’Farrel Enterprises; which is also handling The Walking Dead Telltale Series season 3. Nerdist has reached out to Telltale for confirmation of this report, and they declined to comment.

Assuming that the report is accurate, the Guardians of the Galaxy game is likely to be similar in format to Telltale’s Batman, Game of Thrones, and Walking Dead games. That means that it will probably be an interactive drama, with a few QTEs thrown in to keep the gamers more actively involved with the story. This probably wouldn’t have been our first choice for a video game starring the Guardians, as they tend to lend themselves to more action based stories, but Telltale hasn’t let us down yet, so this could still be very entertaining, especially if the team’s signature humor is intact.

Telltale also tends to create original stories for its games, which makes it less likely that the Guardians of the Galaxy title will adapt any of the stories from the comics like Annihilation: Conquest or Realm of Kings. But it could almost certainly match those comics in terms of scale. We’d also guess that the game could arrive in time for Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 in 2017, assuming that the SAG-AFTRA strike doesn’t drag on.

What do you want to see from a potential Guardians of the Galaxy game by Telltale? Make your decisions in the comment section below!

Image: Marvel Studios

Meanwhile, on the big screen:

WESTWORLD Recap: Bernard’s Big Discovery

(Fair warning: This recap contains Westworld spoilers, and you can’t see anything that can hurt you.)

We’re in it now. Seven episodes into a ten-episode season, “Trompe L’Oeil” finally dropkicks the first domino in the series. We’ve speculated and hunted for the tiniest of clues, and now we know one thing for sure: Gatling guns are super inefficient.

Also, Bernard is a Host.

It seemed clear from nearly the beginning–unless you were occasionally, like me, imagining a double bluff where he was too robotic to actually be a robot. Then again, the title of this Westworld entry refers to the artistic technique of making a flat image appear to be three-dimensional, so maybe this is a message about how far we should trust the straightforwardness of how these characters are presented. It turns out that the mechanical man was a Host all along.

On the other hand (there’s always another hand), the French of the title translates literally as “Optical Illusion,” so we’re back into the Mystery Box once again.

Bernard (Jeffrey Wright) opens the episode dreaming of his son’s dying day. This, and his entire existence, really, point toward Ford (Anthony Hopkins) toying with memories/reveries for a lot longer than we knew. Bernard is fired summarily after an obviously faked demonstration of a violently glitching Host, but he refuses to throw Ford under the bus (thanks to programming), and then he draws Theresa (Sidse Babett Knudsen) to the cabin where Ford’s robo-family lives.

That moment with the basement door triggers the first hairs on the back of your neck. Immediately after explaining that Hosts are programmed to be blind to the cabin, Bernard is unable to see the door Theresa goes through. “What door?” he says, before tentatively following her down. Of course, in the DIY robo-construction zone, Theresa finds the blueprints for Bernard, and she becomes the blood sacrifice eluded to at the beginning of the episode.

Farvel, Theresa (that’s Danish). We hardly knew you, but you brought a steely determinism to a world dictated by a mad scientist. It’ll be sad to see Knudsen go because of the depth she brought even to the simple act of dragging on a cigarette, but it’s not like the show is lacking in stellar acting talent, either.

Her death opens up a truckload of new questions about the future. How does her murder satiate the board? How will it be explained? Why was it necessary? Did Ford see her as that big a threat to his empire? Or as the main threat to it? Who will the board get to smuggle DELOS tech out of the park in malfunctioning robots now?

What’s most incredible about Bernard’s revelation and Theresa’s demise is how Ford essentially degrades her humanity just as she’s about to lose it. He acts as though all active things are dictated by their programming–remarking that a peacock is essentially a dirty, dull thing consoled by its own beauty. Theresa feels betrayed by her intimacy with Bernard Bot, but it’s all just ones and zeroes and DNA and instinct, after all. A dance of seduction that she succumbed to because she had no choice. Are we puppets or puppeteers? If you have to ask, does the answer really matter?

The revelation also shows how little Ford is worried about other Hosts gaining some kind of sentience. Bernard was the head of a department! With a budget and everything!

Also, turns out Ford’s sort of crazy after all. That’s great news. Hopkins can freeze water by talking to it, so it might have been a waste to make him this benevolent inventor just trying to navigate the harsh world of big business.

Speaking of which, it’s still unclear whether the board is going after Ford, or whether Ford’s estimation is right. If it’s the latter, they went to decent lengths to try to trap him, and Hale (Tessa Thompson) is clearly focused on retiring Ford whether he wants it or not. She’s also pretty cool about scheduling business meetings during her robot sex sessions.

Hale confirms that the data is more valuable than the park and its silly cowboy-playing denizens. No surprise there. It’s imagination-shattering tech, but they’re using it in the same way you’d dangle keys in front of a toddler. As ever, the people (and their information) are the product.

The test with Clementine (Angela Sarafyan) was an odd descent into the horrifying possibilities we’ve considered since the creepy deep freeze storage area in the first episode. What if the Hosts turn violent and we can’t shut them off? Never mind that she was clunkily programmed to attack by Theresa and Hale; her superhuman ability to fight back was unnerving (and almost definitely a portent of things to come). Plus, everyone seemed fantastically comfortable with a Host acting as a security tech. How does anyone working there not walk around constantly wondering if they’re a robot?

On the other side of the menagerie, Maeve (Thandie Newton) has decided to escape after seeing Clementine lobotomized. Will the deep freeze come into play for that escape plan?

She slices through the brutish Sylvester (Ptolemy Slocum) with his puny misgivings about it being a suicide mission by reminding him that she’s already died millions of times and giving him a choice between helping her or losing his heartbeat permanently. It’s an easy choice for Sylvester, even though his whining excuses for lobotomizing her friend reek of Nazi complicity. “I was only following orders,” taken to its natural conclusion. Felix (Leonardo Nam) is even easier; a squeamish mass of infatuation, he’s terrified that one of the bosses will notice how often she’s backstage, but he’s too weak-kneed to do anything about it anyway.

She’s in charge.

Last but not least, Dolores (Evan Rachel Wood) and William (Jimmi Simpson) go for a wild ride and also get chased through the forest on horseback. The consummation of their relationship is still clouded by the illusory nature of the park, though. What if Dolores is exactly what William is looking for? What if this is the entertainment he paid for? William remarks that he thought the park was meant to show you your darkest self, but instead it’s meant to show you your deepest self, which, frankly, is nonsense. It’s meant to be whatever you want it to be, and his pheromone-triggered epiphany doesn’t escape the loop of desire.

His future brother-in-law wanted to fuck his way through each town and drain all the booze, but how is that desire any less “real” than the one William is feeling? A desire, by the way, which means he’s cheating on his fiancée, after all–he’s even insidiously excusing it by “falling in love” and learning “something real about himself.” At least Logan (Ben Barnes) can own up to his darker drives. William wants to throw on a Dashboard Confessional album and pretend he’s noble.

Dolores doesn’t want to live in a story, but she’s found herself in a soap opera. One about the nice guy who protects her, the adventure they go on, and the new life they build at the edge of the known world. William wants a life where he doesn’t want to pretend, but he’s still just playing cowboy.

That’s the cynical view. It’s also a limited view because, once again, if they’re happy with lying to themselves, what does it matter? Don’t they shape their own reality, even when someone else is behind the scenes? Aren’t they the ones who have to live in their own minds?

After painting something new, they both decide to stay in unclaimed territory.

SOME STRAY THOUGHTS:

How many times do they have to repair that bullet-riddled train?
Why aren’t there multiples of each Host? Or are there? Again, if I’m paying good money to spend the day with Dolores, but she’s out on a week-long journey with some other guest, I’d be pissed. I’ve been planning this trip for a year!
It’s crazy that these Hosts aren’t in the real world, doing literally every job.
This is supposed to take place in the future, but no one is vaping. Where are your multiple timeline theories now?

But let us know what you thought in comments.

Images: HBO

One mystery down, many more to go:

THE WALKING DEAD Recap: Negan Performs a Chilling “Service”

Editor’s note: This post contains spoilers for the season premiere of The Walking Dead! Proceed with caution, survivors. For reals, if you haven’t yet watched this week’s episode, “Service,” we highly suggest you do so before proceeding. Okay? We good? Let’s go.

Negan is annoying. Intimidating? Maybe. Threatening? I guess. But more than anything, he’s annoying. It gives me no pleasure to say this, because four episodes ago, in the season 6 finale, Negan cut an impressive figure when he introduced himself to Rick and his friends. In the season 7 premiere he got into Rick’s head after slaughtering Abraham and Glenn, and appeared poised to be the Big Bad to end all Big Bads. But something happened in last week’s “The Cell.” Maybe it was the moment he told Daryl he could live like a king if only he joined him, and we saw that Negan’s idea of living like a king is living in a dorm room. Also, Negan’s world view is that of a fourteen-year-old sociopath–hit things with a baseball bat, collect shit, take women by force, and have everyone prove their loyalty to you by saying your name. So, crazy, immature…annoying.

God knows he doesn’t get more interesting in “Service,” the title of which is what Negan claims he provides Rick when he whacks a walker’s head in while arriving at Alexandria to collect the first of his many payments from our survivors. We’re supposed to find Negan even more outrageous and reprehensible than ever when he announces he wants to take Maggie back with him after killing her husband. Fortunately, Rick and Father Gabriel have planned ahead (one of the few times in recent memory in which Rick has planned ahead), and dug and marked a fake grave for the grieving widow. At least we can assume Maggie is grieving, because she’s nowhere to be seen in this episode. But then neither is Sasha, who must be mourning Abraham somewhere. Instead, the “B” story of “Service” involves the late Sergeant Ford’s ex, Rosita, who’s after Negan’s head, and winds up the only Alexandrian in possession of a firearm after the bearded man-child villain, like some kind of R-rated Grinch, takes all of the town’s guns and mattresses.

At least Michonne, like Rosita, is feeling more defiant than the rest of Alexandria (with the exception of the sniveling Spencer, though the less said about him the better). She holds out as long as she can but finally surrenders her weapon to Negan via Rick, who, just for the hell of it, is made to hold Lucille when he asks her for it. Also, for Negan’s childish pleasure, Daryl is forced to come along, and remain silent as he bears witness to the looting. I’d say it’s another round of last week’s misery porn, in which we got to see our favorite bowman psychologically abused for 45 minutes, but, again, Negan grows more toothless with his every utterance. This week we get to hear such over-the-top chestnuts as “Easy peasy lemon squeezy” and “Hot diggity dog!” It’s hard to tell if we’re supposed to laugh with or at him. But we’re certainly not scared.

Weirdly, the one villain who did reveal some depth in last week’s “The Cell”–Dwight–shows none of that growth here; wearing Daryl’s vest, riding off with his bike, and, of course, harassing a woman (Rosita). Given that Negan spends a large chunk of the episode threatening to kill Olivia for losing track of two missing guns, it’s an especially shitty week for females on The Walking Dead.

But things may change sooner rather than later. Rosita’s eyes are daggers when she asks Eugene to make her a bullet. And Maggie and Sasha are still out there. As well as Carol–and it’s only a matter of time before she joins Ezekiel and her new friends in the Kingdom in forming a cavalry the likes of which we’ve not yet seen on this show. But to what end? To kill a one-dimensional infant who calls Olivia a “fat lady” and says things like “I’ve got my fingers crossed for a little freaky deaky”? Sure, Negan is reprehensible. But he’s not very interesting.

The one thing that is interesting about Negan is something I’m not sure is intentional. When he arrives at Alexandria he wistfully tells Rick, “I missed you.” Then, after making Rick thank him for taking all of his shit, he remarks, “In case you haven’t caught on, I just slipped my dick down your throat and you thanked me for it.” Is Negan really in love with Rick? Or does he just like flirting with him? I’m sure these questions will never be answered on this show, but somewhere there’s a porn parody waiting to happen.

Undead Afterthoughts

— In light of this week’s real-world events, I’m not sure “Service” is the best episode of the series to air at this time, since Negan’s attitude and actions are bound to remind far more than a few readers of a certain individual on his way to Washington.

— It’s ironic that Father Gabriel, once the most cowardly character on the show, is now the most fearless. Or perhaps he’s just the craziest. Creeping up on Negan with a big grin on his face, he’s definitely become the most likable guy in Alexandria, if only by default.

— “Maybe if Rick thought it through…” Spencer’s a dick, but it is nice to hear someone express dissatisfaction with Rick’s bad decisions.

— In Rick’s conversation with Michonne, “Service” toys around with the idea that his Achilles heel is guilt over the deaths of those closest to him, from Shane to Glenn. But it doesn’t go much beyond informing Michonne, and the audience, that Judith is Shane and Lori’s baby. Albeit no less of a daughter to Rick, one for whom he says he will give his life.

— Is Daryl reminding anyone else of Theon Greyjoy to Negan’s Ramsay Snow right now?

What did you think of this week’s episode? Let me know in the comments below or on Twitter (@JMaCabre).

Images: AMC

Will Ezekiel be a match for Negan? Let’s look at the evidence: