Chris Hardwick's Blog, page 2111
April 10, 2017
This Clear-Bottomed Pool 500 Feet from the Ground is Terrifying
Forty-two, as most people reading this article should know by now, is the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything.
By sheer coincidence (we assume), it is also the answer to the question “On what floor of a Texas apartment building is there a swimming pool that will give you vertigo?
A post shared by Market Square Tower (@marketsquaretower) on Apr 7, 2017 at 10:12am PDT
The eight-inch thick plexiglass ought to protect you, of course. Tom Cruise‘s sky apartment in the movie Oblivion had a pool like this and he was totally chill with it. Then again, he is Tom Cruise. [Caution: PG-13 nudity]
On the other hand, if Jason Statham is after you, you might want to stay really far away from anything of the sort. Thankfully, we are big fans of his work and see no reason why he’d want to do something like this:
You don’t have to decide right now if you’re brave enough to do it, as Market Square Tower in Houston is probably too expensive for any of us to afford (though it’s a steal by comparison to equivalent luxury in L.A. or New York): a two-bedroom in the building can set a person back over four grand a month. Find a roommate, though, and two grand a month seems less bad; besides, who else is going to double-dog-dare ya to lean on the overhanging edge of the pool?
If you could, would you do it? Tell us why or why not in comments.
Image: YouTube/In the Know
A Neural Network Invents Hilarious Pickup Lines That Definitely Wouldn’t Work
Janelle Shane is quickly becoming the internet’s neural network queen. She’s come up with machine learning algorithms that have generated recipes and all those fake Pokémon we heard about a few days ago, for example. The Pokémon were convincing because nonsense was what made them appealing, but it turns out that doesn’t work so well when the same neural network framework tries to come up with pickup lines. Shane tried that out, and the results were extremely varied (via BoingBoing).
Let’s break down the results (which she shared here) into two basic groups, beginning with the ones that might work if the target of your affection thought that English was your second language and that the effort was cute.
“I want to get my heart with you.”
“If I were to ask you out?”
“You are so beautiful that you make me feel better to see you.”
“Are you a candle? Because you’re so hot of the looks with you.”
“I want to see you to my heart.”
“I have a really falling for you.”
“Your beauty have a fine to me.”
“I had a come to got your heart.”
“You look like a thing and I love you.”
“I don’t know you.”
The last one could work if you’re playing really hard to get. Inversely, here are a few that we couldn’t imagine working out favorably in any scenario because they don’t make a lick of sense.
“Are you a 4loce? Because you’re so hot!”
“I have a cenver? Because I just stowe must your worms.”
“Hey baby, I’m swirked to gave ever to say it for drive.”
“Hey baby, you’re to be a key? Because I can bear your toot?”
“You’re so beautiful that you say a bat on me and baby.”
“If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I have a price tighting.”
“I have to give you a book, because you’re the only thing in your eyes.”
For the most part, you can still tell that there’s romantic intent behind these statements, but the made-up words and bonkers sentence structure convolute the message. Honestly, though, knowing that a robot came up with these, it’s still pretty adorable. We recently learned, however, that for a robot to find love, the best way is to say nothing at all:
It may seem like the neural network didn’t do the greatest job at coming up with pickup lines, but it’s actually kind of incredible it even got to that point. In her blog post about working on the recipe-generating neural network, Shane shows off some results from less educated versions of the network, which help us understand how little neural networks really start with. After citing a paragraph of nonsense, Shane says it’s impressive that “it’s already figured out that lower case letters predominate, and that there are lots of line breaks.” Once you realize that this algorithm started out with no understanding of language whatsoever, the fact that it’s able to achieve what it has is pretty spectacular.
Shane’s Pokémon were brought to life, so I guess now we need one of you to film yourselves trying out these robotic pickup lines on people? Is there a possibility that any of them could actually work? Give us a shout on Twitter and let us know what you think!
Featured Image: Disney/Pixar
6 Things We Saw in the THOR: RAGNAROK Trailer
Thor‘s third “solo” movie is still seven months away, but the first trailer for Thor: Ragnarok has us eager to see what the Odinson and his “friend from work” are bringing to the big screen. It’s such a great teaser for the film that we may have watched it on repeat for a few hours. Don’t judge us! It’s all in the service of today’s Nerdist News, which is opening up the darkest pits in Hel and Niffleheim to tell you about everything we saw in the new Thor 3 footage.
Join host, and the fourth alternate She-Hulk, Jessica Chobot, as she walks us through the three major Marvel storylines that have been mashed together for Thor: Ragnarok. Naturally, there’s Planet Hulk, one of the very best Hulk stories ever. We’re not getting a full Planet Hulk movie, but this is a worthy substitute. Thor is still the star of his own story, and it appears that we’re going to get a taste of the classic Walt Simonson Thor run as well as the Ragnarok arc from the early 2000s that briefly put the title character on the shelf.
If you’ve been wondering where the final Infinity Stone is, Cate Blanchett’s Hela may have just provided the answer. From the way that she destroyed Mjölnir and laid waste to Asgard, we’re thinking that Hela is wielding the Power Stone, and that’s bound to be important for Avengers: Infinity War. Of course, Thor and the Hulk have to make it by her first, and we’re also wondering if Hela is still Loki’s daughter in this continuity.
There are also some very familiar wormholes in this footage, which may be a callback to the first Avengers movie. There’s also a glimpse of Valkyrie in action, as well as some of the impressive aliens hanging around on the planet. Yeah, this is feeling a little Guardians of the Galaxy-ish to us too. And you know what? We’re fine with that! And we wouldn’t be at all surprised to see Star-Lord and the other Guardians pop up in the end credits to set up Infinity War.
What did you think about the new Thor: Ragnarok trailer? Let’s discuss in the comment section below!
Comic Book Club: Myq Kaplan & Jeff Rubin
Check out the website at comicbookclublive.com to find out how to watch the show live! And follow the show on Twitter: @comicbooklive, @azalben, @jtsizzle, and @realpetelepage
Metallica Bassist Robert Trujillo’s Son is Joining Korn for Their South American Tour
Late last year, Korn put out The Serenity of Suffering, the band’s twelfth studio album, and now they’re going around the globe on tour in support of the record. They’re getting ready to head to South America for a stretch of dates in Colombia, Brazil, Argentina, Chile and Peru, but unfortunately, bassist Reginald “Fieldy” Arvizu won’t be making the trip due to “unforeseen circumstances,” the band reported on Facebook (via Fact). However, the group picked a very interesting replacement: Tye Trujillo. We see the light bulbs turning on over your heads, Metallica fans: Yes, that’s Robert Trujillo’s 12-year-old son.
“We are bummed Fieldy can’t join us on this run but excited to do a few gigs with a young player like Tye,” the band wrote. He’s young, yes, but he’s no stranger to the big stage. He’s in a band called The Helmets, which also includes three other kids around his age, and they performed at Lollapalooza in 2015.
The band has a couple of TV performances under their belts as well, including the video above, from a 2016 appearance on Good Day Sacramento. It’s a small sample size, but Trujillo seems perfectly capable of keeping a consistent rhythm, and he already has the hair-whipping headbanging down perfectly.
A lot of South American Korn fans on Facebook are actually disappointed by this development, saying that they’re being robbed of the chance to experience the full lineup. Still, if Fieldy truly is unable to make it down there, we’d be excited to see Robert Trujillo’s perform just for the novelty of it. But also, you know, it looks like he takes after his old man and knows his way around a bass.
Do you think little Trujillo has what it takes for this type of stage, or is this more of a novelty than anything? Head to the comments and share your thoughts!
Featured image: Good Day Sacramento/YouTube
Gorillaz are Finally Getting Their Own TV Show
Since the early 2000s, we’ve followed the live of Gorillaz through various means. Lyrically, their albums usually weave some sort of tale about the band members’ lives or mystical lands or what-have-you. Their music videos are a visual extension of that, and they even tell a cohesive story, or at least contribute to the same universe, when viewed consecutively. In the build-up to the band’s next album Humanz, they also shared a series of social media stories that gave details about what the band members had been up to between Plastic Beach and now.
Basically, if any band is begging to be turned into a TV show, it’s Gorillaz, and now, it’s finally happening. In an interview with Q Magazine (as Fact reports), Jamie Hewlett, the illustrator half of Gorillaz, said that he’s currently working on, among other things, a 10-episode TV series about the band.
As of now, that’s about all we know, but the possibilities are endless because of the storied mythology the band has created for itself over the past sixteen years. They dealt with a zombie apocalypse in the “Clint Eastwood” music video, and that’s just the start of the madness they’ve faced. Adult Swim seems like a pretty natural home for this sort of project, so we’re optimistic that this will actually come to fruition.
How about you? Would you watch a Gorillaz TV show, or are you all set with their music? Give us a shout on Twitter and share your thoughts!
Featured image: Gorillaz/YouTube
John Carpenter’s TALES OF SCIENCE FICTION Comic Trailer is Bloody Cool (Exclusive)
Writer-director-producer John Carpenter had one of the most blistering string of genre hits in movie history. From 1976 with Assault on Precinct 13 all the way to 1988’s They Live, Carpenter made 10 feature films and two TV movies that included mega-hits like Halloween, The Fog, and Escape from New York, and cult masterpieces like The Thing and Big Trouble in Little China. Thereafter, he grew increasingly disillusioned by the studio system and pulled away from directing, but he never stopped being creative. We’ve gotten amazing music from him in recent years, and this summer he’s returning with a comic book series, which now has an exclusive trailer you can see below:
More and more we’ve been getting these motion trailers for comic books, but not all of them have awesome synth music by the person shepherding the book. And it looks like a gorgeously macabre mixture of Alien and Event Horizon, and as you can see from the teaser itself, this is not for young readers, or the faint of heart. Expect bad language and violence aplenty. But you’d expect nothing less from John Carpenter, right?
Carpenter and his wife and collaborator Sandy King are bringing us Tales of Science Fiction, a monthly anthology series that will show us the darkness and wonder of everything the genre has to offer. The first three-issue arc is called “Vault” and has been written by James Ninness with art by Andres Esparza. The first issue will be available in July, and we’re waiting with baited breath. You can learn more about Storm King Comics at C2E2, where they’ll be at Booth #418.
Having Carpenter return to storytelling, and doing it his way, has us very, very excited. Let us know if you’re as jazzed as we are in the comments below!
Images: Storm King Comics
Kyle Anderson is the Associate Editor for Nerdist and the host of the horror documentary series One Good Scare. You can find his film and TV reviews here. Follow him on Twitter!
And speaking of Halloween…
4 Other DC Comics Stories That Should Get the R-Rated Animated Treatment
Last year’s release of Batman: The Killing Joke marked the first time in nine years that Warner Brothers Animation released an R-rated DC Comics adaptation, after some 25 PG-13 rated films. After that release, however, and Justice League Dark, the studio mostly went back to producing PG-13 animated movies, like the recent Teen Titans: The Judas Contract. So can fans expect more R-rated animated films coming anytime soon? At the most recent WonderCon, producer James Tucker said he’s not 100% sure there will be more, but that the studio is “open” to it if the film warrants that kind of rating, saying the following, (via Comic Book):
“It’s hard to say. I will say this, that they have said that if the content merits the R they’ll look into it, they’re open to it, which was not something that was a part of the landscape until recently. I like having that option because there’s certain things that you just can’t do without being a little edgy, without being a little more violent.”
So which DC comics would make the best R-rated adaptations? Here are just a handful of choices that seem to make the most sense. And remember, that of the 30 DC Animated films released thus far, 9 have featured Batman, 4 have featured Superman, 2 have had a Batman/Superman combo, 9 have been Justice League-centric, and only the handful that remain have spotlighted characters like Green Lantern, Wonder Woman and the Teen Titans.
So based on the last decade of animated releases, clearly Warner Brothers animation has a pattern, which is to focus on Batman, Superman and Justice League stories, which is why I haven’t included more varied choices like Sandman and other Vertigo titles–ones with a more obvious adult focus–despite how much I’d love to see them. The following picks are the most likely candidates based on Warner’s history.
Batman: The Long Halloween
Apart from The Killing Joke and The Dark Knight Returns, this storyline by the creative team of writer Jeph Loeb and artist Tim Sale, originally published over 13 issues back in 1997-98, is considered one of the most seminal Batman stories ever told. Taking place roughly a year into the Dark Knight’s career, The Long Halloween finds Batman beginning his working relationship with Commissioner James Gordon and DA Harvey Dent, as the trio begin to attempt to wipe out crime in the city (a lot of these aspects inspired Christopher Nolan’s The Dark Knight).
But just as their crime fighting bond is formed, a serial killer going by the name Holiday begins killing people once a month, each time on that month’s respective holiday, leading Batman into a year-long murder mystery which begins and ends on All Hallow’s Eve. Almost every major villain from Batman’s rogue’s gallery makes an appearance here, and in memorable roles too. Much like The Dark Knight Returns adaptation, this graphic novel would likely need to be split into two movies to do it proper justice – it’s called the LONG Halloween for a reason. 75 minutes simply won’t cut it. But it definitely deserves an adaptation.
Why R- Rated?
Much like The Killing Joke before it, The Long Halloween doesn’t need to be R-rated, but since the series is all about a string of grisly murders, why not just go for broke and make the adaptation as faithful as possible? It would likely sell more if the fanbase knew that Warner Animation wasn’t pulling its punches.
Justice League: Identity Crisis
The 2004 mini-series from novelist Brad Meltzer and artist Rags Morales, much like The Long Halloween before it, is about a series of grisly murders that hit close to home for the members of the original Justice League of America. This series of killings also uncovers a series of events that members of the JLA have kept buried and secret for many years, some even from the trinity of Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman. Oops. Maybe not a good idea to keep secrets from those guys.
At seven issues long, this self contained, noir-ish story could be condensed into 75 minutes (the average running time for a DC Animated film). Although some changes would likely be made. This is a controversial comic among fandom, for several reasons, but it definitely has a reputation, and could make for a very interesting film.
Why R-Rated?
Without mincing words, Identity Crisis is controversial because it depicts the rape and subsequent murder of a beloved DC character. Although it’s not explicit in its depiction of said sexual assault, nevertheless, the mere subject matter of sexual assault in an animated film would pretty much demand an R-rating.
Justice League: Kingdom Come
This is probably the most requested DC animated film there is, and for years DC animated movies producer Bruce Timm has said no to that request whenever asked by fans, saying the painterly art from Alex Ross is too hard to adapt properly. But how about not trying to adapt Ross’ art style, and just adapt the story by writer Mark Waid instead?
Kingdom Come, originally published in 1996, was about a potential future of the DC Universe, in which Superman, Wonder Woman, and other classic heroes have retired. They are subsequently replaced with a generation of young heroes who are extremely violent, and who care more about fighting among themselves and killing villains than with protecting the innocent. When a horrible incident happens killing thousands, Superman and the classic Justice Leaguers come out of retirement to set things right…but things do not go smoothly.
Why R- Rated?
While this one doesn’t NEED to be R-rated, I’d say there are enough deaths, impalings and mass murders depicted that an R rating could be warranted for sure.
Green Lantern: Blackest Night
There have been a lot of DC “event series” over the past several decades, but few are as memorable in the eyes of fandom like the Green Lantern centric Blackest Night. This mini series was the ultimate payoff to years of Geoff Johns created Green Lantern mythology, in which we were introduced to other Lantern Corps, exhibiting the colors of the emotional spectrum – Red, Blue, Yellow,Indigo, etc.
But there was one more sinister Lantern Corps out there, waiting in the wings: the Black Lanterns, representing death itself, and whose members of were the zombified corpses of dead villains and heroes of the DC Universe. This was the closest thing to a horror comic that one of the big crossovers ever came to, even if at its core it was still a superhero story.
Why The R-Rating?
Again, this is another one that could be done with a PG-13 rating, but considering that it features decaying, zombie versions of beloved DC characters, who then spew Black Lantern rings out of their black, oozing mouths, then maybe an R rating is more than called for here.
—
Which classic DC Comics stories do you think deserve the R-rated animated treatment? Sound off down below in the comments.
Images: DC Comics
Meanhwile, in live-action…
April 9, 2017
The First New Super Nintendo Game in Two Decades Is Nearly Here
Among classic gaming enthusiasts, the Super Nintendo is widely regarded as one of the best gaming consoles of all-time. The SNES was one of the kings of the 16-bit era, but it’s time has come and gone…or so we thought. Now, for the first time in almost 20 years, there’s a new SNES game on the horizon. A group of former SNK developers have come together to create Unholy Night: The Darkness Hunter, a new fighting game that will be released later this year!
Found via Bleeding Cool, Nu-Gaia has released video of the story mode from Unholy Night: The Darkness Hunter, which is so old-school that it even features a terrible English language translation. As far as we can tell, the story revolves about the ongoing war between the humans (or hunters) and the Darkness clan of monsters as they battle over the coffin of the strongest vampire from medieval times. The video follows the path of a vampire named Cronos, as he battles the Hunters–Reinhardt, Emily, and a Dhampir known as Blaze–for the fate of the coffin. The nonsensical dialogue is actually part of the fun!
As you may have guessed, Unholy Night isn’t going to be an officially sanctioned release by Nintendo, but it is coming to the Super Famicom in Asia and Japan. Amazon also has it listed for release on the SNES in North America this June, so you’ll be able to play it if you still have your Super Nintendo in working order. Although we suppose that it will probably work for the numerous unlicensed retro consoles as well.
What do you think about Unholy Night: The Darkness Hunter? Unleash your thoughts in the comment section below!
Images: Foxbat/Nu-Gaia
See Jason David Frank’s Behind-the-Scenes Video From His POWER RANGERS Movie Cameo
Last month, fans who saw the big screen reboot of Power Rangers were treated to a surprising cameo by two of the stars from the original TV series: Jason David Frank and Amy Jo Johnson. On Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, Johnson was the very first Pink Ranger, Kimberly Hart, while Frank played Tommy Oliver, the first Green Ranger, who became the White Ranger, the Red Ranger, and even the Black Ranger in later seasons. No matter which Power Rangers universe they’re in, Frank and Johnson are more than just faces in the crowd. Now, Frank has released a video that follows his reunion with Johnson on the day that they filmed their Power Rangers cameo.
It’s clear from the footage that Frank and Johnson have remained close to each other since their time on the series ended, as they shared a ride and coffee on the way to the set. While there, they encountered at least two of the reboot film’s stars, RJ Cyler and Dacre Montgomery. This is the second cameo appearance Frank shot for the movie, but it may have been the more appropriate one for his self-proclaimed social-media mastery. As seen in the pic below, Frank and Johnson appeared as bystanders in the aftermath of the climatic battle, and they were the first to take out their phones to record what they saw.
You can watch the entire video below, but it does take some time to get to Frank and Johnson’s adventures on the set. At the end of the clip, Frank gives a shout out to The Space Between, a feature film that Johnson wrote, directed, and starred in, which is expected to be released in the near future.
What did you think about Frank and Johnson’s return to the Power Rangers franchise? It’s Morphin Time in the comment section below!
Images: Jason David Frank
Mysteries still abound.
Chris Hardwick's Blog
- Chris Hardwick's profile
- 132 followers
![[image error]](http://nerdist.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/Unholy-Night-The-Darkness-Hunter-Emily.jpg){kind=link}