Chris Hardwick's Blog, page 2063

WILLY WONKA Meets WHIPLASH With This Jazz Drum Solo Scene

We think we may have found La La Land director Damien Chazelle’s next project: a cool, scat-tastic, be-bopping Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory jazz musical. Because if it’s even half as good as this drum performance, set to one of the original film’s most iconic scenes, it is going to be a huge hit, man.

Musician David Dockery is behind this mesmerizing jazz drum piece set to the rhythm, cadence, and dialogue of the scene when Willy Wonka screams at Grandpa Joe and Charlie about stealing Fizzy Lifting Drinks. It’s a totally original way to experience this famous cinematic moment, and makes both characters sound as though they are really engaging in a dual beat-poetry performance. It’s also like if Damien Chazelle’s other paean to jazz, Whiplash, had been set in a chocolate factory instead of a music school.

If J.K. Simmons’ psychotic instructor Fletcher from Whiplash had decided to get into the candy racket instead of teaching, this is what it would have looked and sounded like. Probably wouldn’t be a nurturing place to learn the ins-and-outs of the confectionery business.

You

Get

Noth-ing

You Lose sir

Good

Day sir

Getting violently scolded by a scat-jazzing, chocolate-loving professor would really leave a sour taste in our mouths, especially if we then got an Everlasting Gobstopper whipped at our head. Although if Damien Chazelle really does take us up on this fantastic idea, that would make for a memorable scene.

What did you think of this drum performance? Be bop your way into our comments section below and let us know, man, what you think.

Featured Image: Paramount Pictures

Whiplash Image: Sony Pictures Classics

Get an HTML Coding Lesson from Satan, Through Death Metal

Computers, man. Sometimes they’re just evil. Like, why are my tabs closing at random today? Why does that one browser I won’t call out by name (for legal reasons) keep freezing? What’s with Shockwave plugins that don’t respond?

If you answered “Satan,” the YouTube channel RiffShop, which we found via Laughing Squid, might agree. Their version of Satan (David Wu) knows his technology–so well, in fact, that he wants to teach you basic html, by screaming his instruction over a thundering guitar riff, because that’s how the devil rolls.

You may have suspected, but now you know: html actually stands for “hate tyranny malice loathing.” But even if you don’t believe that, you can take away some knowledge from lyrics like, “They’re opening and closing tags! They’ll put your elements in body bags!” It’s all in the service of creating a cute puppy website called “Pupper 666” with the tagline “Life is ruff.”

I knew pet picture websites were evil!

RiffShop are fond of explaining things through death metal, like “How to Tie a Tie” and, uh, “Cereal.” It was only a matter of time before they summoned the Dark One in the process.

To compensate, I think they should teach us how to properly and respectfully attend church…through death metal, of course.

Does a killer riff make it easier to learn things? Is this how schools should implement calculus? At the very least, wouldn’t it liven up P.E. class if the coach’s screams were actually in the service of a rockin’ tune?

Slam our comments below with your thoughts.

Image: RiffShop

Get a Year’s Worth of Fidgeting Out of Your System With This Super Fidget Spinner

All right, listen. We admit the fad of fidget spinners has gotten a little out of hand these days. However, while not all of us subscribe to the idea that they offer any real help, we certainly don’t think ruining the world’s youth either. It’s a silly little gadget that–if we’re being honest–is a whole lot cooler than a lot of the stuff we had when we were little. That’s why this fidget spinner made from a bunch of fidget spinners is, frankly, kind of awesome.



A recent post on The Awesomer lead us to Louis Weisz, a YouTuber building a name for himself with videos of unique builds. And his latest is downright mesmerizing despite being a relatively simple construction With an order of fidget spinners and trip to Home Depot, Weisz combined the powers of the individual whirling toys to make one giant fidget spinner.

It results in a kind of geometric fractal spinner that is just a delight to watch (especially in slow motion). Seeing just these seven work so well together makes us think how awesome even more fidget spinners would look and we can’t help but be reminded of the kinetic sculptures we posted about early last year. We wouldn’t be surprised if art installations started to pop up with entire walls built out of combined fidget spinners. If they do, we’re going to be first in line to spin them all!

What are your thoughts on fidget spinners? Are they the evil menace some people claim they are? Or are they just a harmless toy and this generation’s slap bracelets? Let’s discuss in the comments below!

Images: Louis Weisz

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN and Davy Jones’ Theme Get Metal Covers

Years ago, someone at Disney hit upon the idea to turn Disneyland‘s most famous attractions into feature films. That strategy hasn’t always worked out, but it proved to be massively successful with the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise. With the fifth movie, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales, out this weekend, Hans Zimmer‘s catchy theme for the series has gotten a new metal cover.

Eric Calderone (a.k.a. Erock) has posted his heavy metal inspired take on Zimmer’s iconic music, which has become one of the hallmarks for the film series. On his YouTube page, Calderone wrote that “Pirates is one of those franchises I’ll see every time they put one out. Movie music (and some ball busting friends) is what got me to do Youtube in the first place. Thanks for sticking around, it means the world.”

Calderone actually posted a metal cover for this very same theme all the way back in 2009, in the early days of his YouTube adventures. As you can see below, that video was a little rougher than his current output, but it is still an interesting take on the music.

More recently, Calderone added a new Pirates of the Caribbean theme to his lineup: Davy Jones’ organ music from Dead Man’s Chest and At World’s End. Jones is definitely a villain in both movies, but the music captures his tragic side as well as his lost love for the sea goddess, Calypso.

For more from music from Calderone, visit Metalyze.com or check out his YouTube channel.

What did you think about Calderone’s latest Pirates of the Caribbean metal covers? Rock out in the comment section below!

Image: Erock/Eric Calderone

LA LA LAND A Cappella Medley Will Transport You to the City of Stars

The logistics of pulling off a huge, impromptu musical number, especially one comprised of hundreds of idling motorists on a freeway in Los Angeles, are nearly impossible to count. However, they lessen considerably if you can do it without the need for any instruments, like this a cappella group proved with this fantastic La La Land medley.

Viva Vox, a self-described “metal/pop/rock a cappella choir from Serbia,” tackled the Hollywood blockbuster musical with an aca-awesome rendition of some of the movie’s most memorable tunes, including “Mia & Sebastian’s Theme,” “Another Day of Sun,” the Oscar-winning “City of Stars,” and “Someone in the Crowd.” The accompanying video is equally as impressive and fitting for the film.

Am I the only one who seems to like the music from the movie more and more every time I hear another take on it? That’s not a knock on La La Land nor Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone, but a compliment to the songs themselves, which grow richer the more I hear different versions or singers cover them.

Like when John Legend, who had a supporting role in the film, gave a gorgeous performance of the movie’s two Oscar-nominated tracks at this year’s Academy Awards.

Of course, he had rehearsal time and trained dancers for that performance. There’s no way he would have been able to do that on a freeway.

Where would you even put the piano?

What other musical or film would you like to hear this group cover with an a cappella medley? Name your tune with a solo performance of your best suggestions in our comments section below.

Images: Summit Entertainment

An Unprepared TV Reporter Loses It on Disney’s GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY–MISSION: BREAKOUT! Ride

Cory James, a reporter for Fresno, California’s KFSN TV action news, began his career reporting on hard news, but he’s now becoming internet famous on a larger scale simply for going on a Disney theme park ride. This week marked the opening of the new Guardians of the Galaxy—Mission: Breakout! ride at Disney’s California Adventure (sorry, Florida fans; Universal still has Marvel theme park rights on the east coast) and in addition to fans swarming the park, TV news crews sent folks like Cory to get some entertainment coverage.

What happened at KFSN (found via Mashable) was definitely entertaining, but maybe not in the way the station expected. Apparently nobody told James much about the actual ride mechanics: a re-skinning of the Twilight Zone Tower of Terror ride, based on the premise of an elevator snapping loose and plummeting to your doom. Warning: ride spoilers ensue, though the experience, like that of the revamped Star Tours, includes random elements that change.

We’re going to take issue with the video being entitled “screams like a girl,” since, well, none of the girls on the ride are screaming like that. But James’ reaction is as genuine as it gets; luckily, he manages a reasonable recovery at the very end. Maybe “screams like an unsuspecting local news reporter” can become the new vernacular.

I can’t help feeling for the guy, as my first couple of experiences on roller coasters went similarly; I also once spent a week at the California Disney resort, and deliberately never went on the Tower of Terror. And given how the anchors at the desk were so amused by his performance, I have a feeling they’re going to make him do scary things again just to try to get a repeat. That said: wow, those high notes that he hits!

Have you experienced the ride, either in its original or current form? How was your first experience? Be honest, and let us know in comments!

Images: KFSN/Funny Local News on YouTube

Pollen-Shaped Lamps Will Make You Want to Sneeze

If you’re prone to sneezing, try not to look at this GIF for too long:

Tree full of pollen

All those showers we got in April have brought May flowers, and the May flowers have in turn brought allergy season thanks to all the pollen that’s filling the air right now. Although we’d hope your pollen situation isn’t as bad as that tree up there, it might feel that way sometimes, which is why this following bit of interior design might fill you with apprehension. Rest assured, though, that it’s still super neat.

Swiss art director Regine Cavicchioli and Roman Jurt and Michael Kennedy, students at the Zurich University of the Arts, turned all the pollen into a positive by looking at pollen particles under a microscope and turning what they saw into 3D printed lamps (via Fast Company).

“Nature is really complicated, especially in the shapes and forms of their own surfaces,” Kennedy says in the video above. “We got these 2D images from pollen and tried to capture these images into a 3D shape, which we modeled on the computer.”

The resulting shapes are diverse in form, since some look like a durian while others are more cantaloupe-like or similar to things that aren’t fruit. If you want one of these lamps for yourself, it will cost you somewhere between $437 to $1,366. There’s enough pollen around without us bringing more inside, we’d say, although these lamps sure are gorgeous.

What other particles do you think could look good in lamp form? Let us know in the comments below!

Featured image: Pollen Lampen/Vimeo

Red Sox Slugger David Ortiz Reenacts Famous Boston Movie Scenes

The Red Sox‘ Big Papi might have retired from baseball last year, but David Ortiz isn’t done entertaining his fans. That’s because he’s found a new career as a thespian, and what more fitting way for him to show off his acting chops than by taking a swing at reenacting some famous Boston movie scenes?

This video, which is a part of his current charitable campaign with Omaze, shows the greatest clutch hitter in Sox history recreating a scene from The Town, taking on the iconic “apples” moment from Good Will Hunting, playing both Drew Barrymore and Jimmy Fallon’s roles in Fever Pitch, and engaging in a long, tense standoff from The Departed.

Well, that was wicked awesome.

As a Red Sox fan who shed a couple (hundred) tears during Ortiz’s last game, and has called him one of the ten most important people to ever enter my life, I feel I can safely and objectively judge his performance here purely on the merits: without a doubt David Ortiz is the greatest actor of all time.

And, if you agree with me, you have a chance to tell him that to his face, as well as give him a big hug, if you enter and win his charitable Omaze contest. The lucky winner will get a free trip to Boston, to meet and cavort with Big Papi during his number retirement ceremony at Fenway on June 23rd. You can read about all of the amazing perks that are a part of the prize here, which you can take part in for as little as a $10 donation.

Proceeds  from the fundraiser will go to Ortiz’s Children’s Fund, as well as the Boston Red Sox Foundation.

But honestly, if they want to raise even more money they should have Big Papi offer dual hitting and acting classes. Because after all those years hitting huge homeruns for the Red Sox, no one knows how to perform on a big stage with a believable Boston accent than David Ortiz.

What other Boston movie should David Ortiz reenact? Tell us in the comments below.

Images: Omaze

Dr. Seuss Funko Mystery Minis Look Like They Leapt off the Page

We sure do love a mystery,

Even if it’s small.

So Funko‘s newest figures?

We want to own them all!

That’s because the latest collection of Mystery Minis announced on the toy company’s Funko Blog is a series of Dr. Seuss‘s most iconic and beloved figures.

It includes some of our all-time favorite childhood characters, like The Cat in the Hat, Thing 1 and Thing 2, the Grinch, Sam I Am, Fox in Socks, the Lorax, and plenty of others. However, unlike the normal Mystery Minis style, which are cartoonish takes on the characters, these look exactly like they do in the books (just with bigger heads), as though they’ve jumped right off the page and into your home to make a boring old rainy day fun.

Red fish?

Blue fish?

What to do?

We’ll buy ’em both

And Horton too!

The series also includes a couple of Barnes and Noble exclusives, like a second version of the Cat in the Hat and White Fish. The figures will be released this summer, sometime in July, so keep an eye out for them.

In the meantime, feel free to use this release as an excuse to re-read your entire collection of Dr. Seuss books, whether you have children or not. And try and come up with your own Seuss-esque Mystery Minis poem.

It’s way more fun than it has any right to be. Don’t believe us? Just give it a try and you’ll see.

Which of these figures

Do you want the most?

In the comments below

Your thoughts we will host!

Images: Funko

DOCTOR WHO Series 10 Might All Be a Misdirect

Halfway through any Doctor Who series, we might have a pretty good grasp on what the main mystery and maybe even who the main villain is, and yet, coming off of “Extremis,” we might know that Missy is in the Vault, but I’m still no closer to guessing how anything will shake out, and with a very immediate threat like the Monks for the Doctor, Bill, and Nardole to deal with, anything else gets pushed aside. Here we are, at episode 7 and a major problem has set itself in front of us. Who knows what the next episode will hold, much less the final four?

“The Pyramid at the End of the World” is co-written by Steven Moffat and the reliably thoughtful Peter Harness, whose Zygon two-parter in Series 9 was a highlight for many fans. It set up an endpoint–a moment that would necessitate the surrender of the world to the Monks–and took its time showing us how exactly we got there. As the Doctor said at one point, the entire episode was about misdirection. A pyramid suddenly appears in a war-torn part of the world, so naturally everybody assumes nuclear war is the moment that will trigger Doomsday. But instead, it all comes from a pair of broken glasses and a night of too many drinks.

But everything about the Monks is a misdirect. They look like corpses because “you are all corpses,” so we don’t even know what they actually look like. This just seems like a baller move to disorient people. “We’re gonna look like dead humans and then tell them that’s what they all are.” Next, they’re “monks,” and have robes sort of reminiscent of Shaolin monks, but they cruise around in an Egyptian pyramid. They also demand pure “love” related consent, meaning they want to be adored and power given over “willingly.” The UN Secretary General acted out of fear, the army generals acted out of strategy, but Bill acted out of “love.” Now, this isn’t love of the Monks, but to them it doesn’t really matter. Loopholes work just fine.

The misdirection in “The Pyramid at the End of the World” is not limited to the Monks, however; the whole episode is full of misdirections, both in plot and in execution. The biggest example is, of course, the misdirect of thinking the Doctor had won, but his blindness–conveniently–makes it so he would have to sacrifice himself, leading then to Bill’s consenting to give them the world. But there are also little things, like the Doctor believing his TARDIS was still in his office, then finding out it had been moved to where it needed to be; or Nardole asphyxiating on the toxic gas only for that–we assume–to be negating, though nobody knew he died but us. Even something as relatively minor as showing the simulation of the Pope barging in on Bill and Penny’s date only for their real date to then be interrupted by the UN soldiers is in itself a misdirect.

But that got me thinking about the series in general thus far and how it all has been a misdirect. Each episode has felt like meat-and-potatoes Doctor Who, as in the textbook example of what a Doctor Who episode is, but then it’s turned into something else. You think you’re just watching an episode about the Doctor and Bill going to old-timey London where there’s a monster fish and it’s actually a story about racism; you think you’re watching an episode about ghosts in a house but it’s actually about loneliness and being unable to let go; you think you’re watching an episode about zombies on a space station when it’s actually a condemnation of capitalism.

Even the MacGuffin of the year–Missy in the Vault–seems like it’s destined to be yet another sleight of hand trick. The Vault wasn’t featured in this episode at all, but we know Missy will be in next week’s. However, are we sure what we think we see is what we’re seeing? A big huge revelation like this can’t simply come in the middle of the series, can it? And with Peter Capaldi’s earlier statements about his regeneration happening differently than we have ever seen in the past, I’m guessing there are a lot more surprises to come, and the first batch of episodes were merely there to get us thinking a particular way. Mark me.

“The Pyramid at the End of the World” is a perfectly fine episode, but I think it represents a lot more thematically than we initially might have guessed. Next week, the Monk trilogy culminates with “The Lie of the Land” by Toby Whithouse. The Monks have seemingly rewritten the world’s history and only Bill knows it’s not right. And, judging by the backgrounds and the fact that the next-time teaser shows Bill shooting the Doctor, this is the episode where we’ll see the regeneration shots from the premiere trailer. We’ll find out when “The Lie of the Land” airs, Saturday June 3 at 9/8c on BBC America.

What do you think? Are we bound to be fooled like the best magic tricks, or is it more wheel-spinning? Let us know in the comments below!

Images: BBC America

Kyle Anderson is the Associate Editor and the resident Whovian for Nerdist. Follow him on Twitter!