Tia Silverthorne Bach's Blog, page 72

Friday the 13th: Fun Facts Friday

This morning my daughter asked me what day it was. When I told her it was Friday the 13th, she freaked out and said something bad was going to happen. Friday the 13th has never bothered me, but I wanted to ease her worries. Off to the Internet...

SourceWhy Is Friday the 13th Considered Unlucky

One theory: 13 is an unlucky number and Friday an unlucky day (considered so since The Canterbury Tales, unlucky to start a journey on a Friday).

Note: Crazy to think of Friday as an unlucky day. I love Fridays! End of a school/work week, prepping for weekend, etc.

Another theory: 12 is considered the number of completeness (months, Zodiac, apostles), and therefore 13 is irregular. I found mention of a Norse Myth that 13 seated at a table would result in death... consider the Last Supper - the 13th guest, Judas, betrayed Jesus and was killed on a Friday. Christ's crucification day is also considered to be a Friday by many historians.

Interesting Facts About Friday the 13th

* The fear of Friday the 13th has been called friggatriskaidekaphobia (Frigga being the name of the Norse goddess for whom "Friday" is named and triskaidekaphobia meaning fear of the number thirteen). (From Wikipedia)

* In 2012, three unlucky Fridays are 13 weeks apart: January 13, April 13, July 13. Eek! (hasn't happened since 1984)

* Hotels and hospitals often skip floor 13, and some airports don't have a gate 13.

* President Franklin D. Roosevelt is said to have avoided travel on the 13th day of any month, and would never host 13 guests at a meal. (Source) 

* Fidel Castro was born on Friday, August 13, 1926.

* Friday the 13th superstitions cost businesses between $800 and $900 billion. People choose not to buy houses, fly, or buy stocks (to name a few things) on this day. (Source)

I found several sites that listed unfortunate events that occurred on Friday the 13ths throughout history. This seemed particularly silly to me... take any day, and you could easily find bad things that happened. Research all Tuesday the 18ths, for example.

Are you wary of Friday the 13th?

Picking Readers' Brains: ROW80 Update

Tonight my book club discussed Winter Garden by Kristin Hannah. I will be reviewing it soon on Mom in Love with Fiction, but I can tell you it's amazing read, intricate in both emotions and characters. However, it's sad and depressing. Sometimes the best books are the hardest to read.

As much as I need to surround myself with writers, it is just as important to surround myself with readers. We all have a love of books and words in common. My love of writing comes first from a love of reading. If I don't nourish that part of myself, I think the writer in me suffers.

Hearing how each woman was affected by this book differently reinforced several things.

1. A writer can't reach every reader in one work.

There's no way to write a book that all readers will like and want to read. It's a success to write a book that people choose to read and a good majority of them enjoy. I've rarely been to a book club where everyone agreed on a book. And even more rare where everyone loved a book.

2. A reader may love a book and still not recommend it.

I asked my book club if they would recommend this book, one that many of us agreed was expertly written and memorable. Several said No. Mainly because they know some friends who don't like overly depressing books. But everyone agreed it was an excellent book club book, plenty of juicy material to talk about. Easy, fun reads rarely make for good book club discussions.

3. Readers trust their reading community.

I never leave book club without a list of books to add to my to be read pile. As we were talking about this book, people would talk about other books with similar themes. I recommended The Book Thief, because amazingly I read that and Winter Garden back to back and both were WWII based and another woman mentioned a mother-daughter drama. Yet another said she'd read several Kristin Hannah books and Firefly Lane was her favorite. I never question a book recommended by a fellow book lover.

That being said, I trust a book recommendation verbally from a friend much more than I trust book reviews. I like to see that a book has consistent 4 to 5 stars, but I prefer to know a reader I respect loves a book. Not just some random Amazon reader.

4. Readers miss bookstores.

My group brings their Kindles and other eReaders, but it never fails that someone laments browsing in a bookstore. They say they are even more reliant on friends' recommendations now that they are buying eBooks, since they find browsing online overwhelming. 

Do you surround yourself with people who love to read? How often do you find yourself talking about books with your friends?

*****
A Round of Words in 80 Days Update

It's Wednesday, time for another ROW80 update.

Writing: 30 minutes a day is really working well for me. I reported my Sunday check in on Monday, but I did 30 minutes of writing on Tuesday and tried a character writing exercise for 30 minutes today. It keeps my head in the game even on days when I'm not putting up impressive wordcount numbers.

Reading: Just started a new book, and I'm not far enough in to form an opinion. I'm excited to post some reviews on Mom in Love with Fiction. A couple of 5-star reads lately.

Blogging: Monday and today, so I'm on schedule.

Social Media: The last two days I've stayed above goal by reading 15 posts and commenting on at least 10. Still, I'd like to do more.

Editing: Fail, especially the last two days. We spent a good portion of yesterday in Fairfax, Virginia (an hour each way minimum, and hour and a half coming home in traffic) seeing a specialist for my daughter. I appreciate any good thoughts you care willing to send her/my way.

Overcoming Zombies: ROW80 Update

I missed a ROW check in... already.

But I have quite the tale to tell.

My family and I set out last weekend for vacation. A driving trip. The fun began last Friday when power went out. We were planning to leave Saturday. Neighbors were watching our dog, so the poor thing didn't have to spend a week in the dreaded kennel. When we left Saturday afternoon, still no power. Neighbors were standing by to take our dog somewhere cool if need by. We kissed the food in our refrigerator and freezer goodbye (and several kisses to doggie) and headed out.
It never dawned on us that the drive to Northern Kentucky to stay with my dear friend would be through what seemed like post-Apocalyptic West Virginia and Ohio. Realizing we needed gas soon, we searched for exits with gas and food. Our first two tries were met with blacked out stores and gas stations signs with big bold letters glaring. No Gas.

With our "miles until empty" reading at 15 miles, we finally found gas. We waited an hour with all the other desperate cars. I've never seen The Walking Dead, but each time we passed a blacked out McDonalds or Kroger, I was freaked out that a band of zombies were around the corner. We finally made it to my friend's house just after midnight with nary a zombie in sight.

The trip was wonderful, but it made me realize just how dependent I am on Internet service and, shocker, power! Luckily I had some posts in the bank. But I was hoping to get ahead over the week of vacation.

"If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans " ~ Woody Allen.
Writing without a laptop is difficult. I love my IPhone, but I don't want to write all my thoughts in notes. It's painful and slow. Half the words get lost. Plus, I hate answering emails that require more than a simple OK on my IPhone. And thanks to losing power before we left, I had drained my battery.

Finally, we were a friend's house later in the week. I was going to download some editing projects and do some writing. Can you imagine how shocked I was to find out he did not have Internet service? I ended up going to a Starbucks for two hours.

Oh, and just for fun... on our way home Sunday, we got a flat tire which caused a four-hour delay in our travel plans. Another lost day. A rarely missed ROW80 Update.

What has all this taught me?

Where there's a will, there's a way. I was determined to stick to my A Round of Words in 80 Days (ROW80) commitments, come no power or flat tires! And maybe I should start watching The Walking Dead to hone my survival skills.

My ROW80 Update (a day late thanks to that flat tire!)

Writing: Even on vacation, I managed at least 30 minutes a day writing. I spent one hour writing on Friday. I did take off Saturday and Sunday, instead of just the one day in my goals. Two days may be more realistic, but I'm going to keep with my six-days-a-week goal for now. (When without my laptop, I dared write on paper. Crazy, I know.)

Blogging: My goal is to post Sunday, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I missed Sunday. It happens. I have to shake it off and move forward. That's my new motto! Otherwise I get so caught up in what I don't do I fail to see what I do do. Ever had this problem?

Reading: I knocked down four books over vacation: The Book Thief, Markus Zusak ; The Penelopiad, Margaret Atwood; Winter Garden, Kristin Hannah; and The Soldier's Wife, Joanne Trollope. The Soldier's Wife review will be up tomorrow at Mom in Love with Fiction. The other reviews will be scattered over the next two weeks. I'm so inspired after reading these. They were all amazing in their own right.

Social Media: One thing I did manage on my phone was blog reading. I didn't always comment (again too much typing on a wee-bitty keyboard), but I feel more caught up.

Editing: Behind, thanks to the power and Internet fiascoes. But I'm catching up.

Hope my ROW80 friends are having a productive Round 3 so far!

Independence Day: Fun Facts Friday

This past Wednesday, July 4, we celebrated Independence Day in the United States. Since July 4, 1776 we have celebrated this day as our country's birthday, the day the Declaration of Independence was signed making us our own country separate from England.

First, I want to thank our founding fathers and all who continue to fight for this country. I feel blessed to live here.

My kids were asking me a lot of questions as we sat and watched fireworks Wednesday evening, so off to the Internet we went. What did parents do before the Internet? I love being able to answer my kids' questions quickly and correctly without pulling down an encyclopedia that might or might not be updated.

But back to what we found...

July 4th Interesting Facts

* The Declaration of Independence was approved July 2, 1776 in a closed session of Congress. Historians disagree as to whether it was signed on July 4 (some argue it was as late as August 2), but the document is dated July 4, 1776.


* The first fireworks celebrating July 4th were set off on July 8, 1776 and thereafter every year. The Chinese culture was known for fireworks, they believed loud sounds and bright colors warded off evil spirits, and Marco Polo brought them to Europe in the 1200s. Europe mainly used them to celebrate the birthday of the King or Queen. Some say we used them to mock England. Others say we used them to represent the sounds of cannons and muskets heard during our war for our independence. On July 4, 1777, we celebrated the first anniversary with fireworks in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, the then capital.

* Congress made July 4th an unpaid holiday in 1870. It did not become an official federal paid holiday until 1941.

* The first recorded use of the term "Independence Day" was in 1791.

* The estimated number of people living in the US on 7/4/76: 2.5 million. The estimated number of people living in the US on 7/4/12: 313.9 million. (Source)

* In 2011, the US imported $3.6 million in US Flags. The majority ($3.3 million) came from China. (Source)

* The largest July 4th fireworks displays are listed here (2011). The Top 4: New York, New York; Atlantic City, NJ; Addison, TX; and Boston, MA.

What's your favorite part of July 4th? If you are outside the US, what celebration in your country is similar?

Time on the Couch: #IWSG and ROW80

It's the first Wednesday of the month and time for my first Insecure Writer's Support Group post. A huge thanks to Alex J. Cavanaugh for putting together this group. I'll consider this post my official time on the #IWSG therapy couch.

I am so thankful for my writing community. Whenever I feel alone and afraid, I share it here. Without fail, one of my writer friends manages to find my post that day and give me the encouragement I need to move forward. A few suggested joining Alex's group. I finally did it!

My insecurity is always lurking; it rears its ugly head when I least expect or want it. But it's always there. In the past month, I wrote a post about it: My Monster Rises. In it, I talked about my joy, and tad bit of jealousy, when my writer friends get agents, publishing deals, etc.

One of the commenters made an excellent point... we tend to compare ourselves to the most successful authors. It's like deciding to run your first 10K race and comparing yourself to the winner, instead of looking at another same-age, first-time racer to see how you did. Even then, are they taller? More muscular? There are so many variables, and comparing yourself to others is a path full of potential pitfalls.

Lately, I am easily distracted. I seem to have ideas popping in and out of my head. Too many to capture. When I sit down to work on my WIP, I end up writing a bit of a short story or a blog post instead. I feel less insecure with short pieces. The longer a project takes, the more opportunity there is for my insecurity monster to creep in.

It brings me comfort to know I can post to this group monthly with my fears and trepidations. Thanks in advance for the support!

And now for a quick A Round of Words in 80 Days (ROW80), another one of my wonderful writing support groups.

ROW80 Update

Round 3 is off to a great start, although we are only two days in. I simplified my goals for this round (check them out here), and so far it's working.

Writing: I spent 30 minutes Monday and Tuesday working on my WIPs. One day was rewriting a scene and one was researching. It felt like progress.

Editing: I'm working on a piece that I hope to finish this week.

Blogging: I'm now on my new schedule, so I posted Monday (ROW80 goals) and today. I'll post a Fun Facts Friday to round out the week. Then it's Sunday ROW80 check in and repeat.

Social Media: Doing better. My goal is to hit 5-10 IWSG blogs tonight and 5-10 ROW80.

Reading: I finished Book Thief finally. Best. Book. This. Year. I highly recommend it. I hope to have a review on Mom in Love with Fiction by Friday.

I'm looking forward to visiting my ROW80 friends and making some new IWSG friends.

Focusing on Simple: ROW 80 Round 3 Goals

It's summertime. My kids are home, and they are aging so much faster than should be allowed. So for July and August, I'm going to try something new. Simplify.

I started 2012 with a bang, determined to take on challenge after challenge. I found myself drowning. One thing I've learned about multitasking. I can do it, but I don't do it well. I feel like I've spent much of 2012 in a very frazzled state. The next two months I'm going to enjoy my children and find a new writing groove.

So it's a perfect time to start Round 3 of A Round of Words in 80 Days (ROW80) and reassess my goals.

My Round 3 Goals

Writing: Monday through Saturday, I will spend a minimum of thirty minutes a day working on one of my two works in progress. Sundays are off. I hope to spend more time writing, but thirty minutes is my test mile.

Editing: Since the time commitment changes for this, I will figure it out week to week. Writing comes first, then editing. Right now, I have several short stories I'm editing. My goal is to spend some dedicated time on each, sending a completed one every few days to the client.  

Blogging: Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday here. A minimum of twice a week on Mom in Love with Fiction. I will not commit to any daily blogging challenges in July or August.

Social Media: I'm going to try something different and see if it sticks. I will comment on 5 ROW80 posts every check in, minimum. I will then visit and comment on 10 other posts from my reader. Again, my test mile.

Reading: I will read a minimum of one book a week, and one craft book in July and August.

Good luck to my fellow ROW80 friends.

Check out some great writers here.

Nora Ephron Remembered: Fun Facts Friday

I was so sad to hear that Nora Ephron passed away this week at the age of 71. The same day, unaware of the news, I listed Nora Ephron as my dream director for the movie version of Depression Cookies in the post, Oprah Winfrey and Roger Ebert: Dreaming About Depression Cookies.
From Wikipedia
Although I loved her movies, I realized I knew very little about her. So today I'm dedicating my Fun Facts Fridays to Nora Ephron.

Born in 1941, she was a was an American filmmaker, director, producer, screenwriter, novelist, playwright, journalist, author, and blogger. She was best known for her romantic comedies, including Sleepless in Seattle, When Harry Met Sally, Julie and Julia, and You've Got Mail.

Interesting Facts

* She briefly interned for John F. Kennedy.
* She worked in the mailroom of Newsweek.
* Her first novel, Heartburn, inspired by the end of her second marriage, became a movie starring Jack Nicholson and Meryl Streep.
* She wrote a regular blog for the Huffington Post.

My Favorite Ephron Quotes

“I am continually fascinated at the difficulty intelligent people have in distinguishing what is controversial from what is merely offensive.”

“I try to write parts for women that are as complicated and interesting as women actually are.”

“Reading is everything. Reading makes me feel like I've accomplished something, learned something, become a better person. Reading makes me smarter. Reading gives me something to talk about later on. Reading is the unbelievably healthy way my attention deficit disorder medicates itself. Reading is escape, and the opposite of escape; it's a way to make contact with reality after a day of making things up, and it's a way of making contact with someone else's imagination after a day that's all too real. Reading is grist. Reading is bliss.”

“Whatever you choose, however many roads you travel, I hope that you choose not to be a lady. I hope you will find some way to break the rules and make a little trouble out there. And I also hope that you will choose to make some of that trouble on behalf of women.”

What comes to mind when you think of Nora Ephron?

Words, Otherwise Beautiful, Can be So Harmful

“Words are like eggs dropped from great heights; you can no more call them back than ignore the mess they leave when they fall.”  Jodi Picoult, Salem Falls
Words have power. They can inspire and destroy.

Last week, the lovely Callie Leuck wrote an amazing post, Some People Can't Mind Their Ps and Qs. She shares customers' comments while she performed in a living history museum, and also discusses how hateful people can be with negative book reviews.

It struck a chord with me.

Be Mindful of What You Say
My oldest daughter was given several gifts from her paternal Mexican great-grandfather. Like him, she has beautiful olive skin, black hair, and dark brown eyes. So many times as a teen I prayed for a tan. My skin knows two colors: red or white. I am quite fair with blue eyes and dark red/brown hair. My husband has the black hair and dark eyes, but fair skin (although he tans when he has time to soak up sun).

Twenty months after our first daughter, we welcomed another. She takes after me with insanely fair skin, green eyes, and golden brown hair (okay that's after my mother).

The comments have never stopped.

When I was obviously pregnant with baby #2, I can't tell you how many times women came up to me and said:

"Congratulations, you can get pregnant!"

I looked at the beautiful little girl in my arms and didn't try to mask my confusion. They would continue:

"You hear it all the time. You adopt a baby and then immediately get pregnant. So glad it worked for you."

Or, you don't want to know how often I've heard this question:

"Where did you get her?"

At first I didn't know how to respond. Now I say, "The doctor handed her to me after I pushed her out."

Now that my oldest is twelve, she fields a lot of these "what are you" questions. People have asked her if she's my foster child, people pull her sister aside and ask if she's adopted or from a different father. People assume she isn't mine. I'm astounded in this day and age that people are so perplexed by the color of her skin and details of her features.

Curiosity is Not an Excuse for Insensitivity
I understand curiosity. I do. But I don't understand how a moment of curiosity in the brain travels out from the mouth without any consideration. My daughter has cried about not fitting in. I tell her everyday how beautiful she is.

We cannot control our thoughts or even judgmental moments of weakness. But we can, and should, control the things that come out of our mouths. Or worse yet, get written in emails, texts, Facebook posts, Tweets, etc. I tell my preteen daughter... what you write in a moment of anger, hurt, sadness, meanness can and will live on in perpetuity.

Just last night at a swim meet, a woman said to me (quite loudly with my daughter standing right next to me), "Man she has dark skin." I could see the pain on my daughter's face. Kids her age were standing around. She doesn't want to feel different right now, but I hope she grows to love her beauty and individuality.

Beyond My Experience
I calm myself by blaming people's insensitivity on curiosity and poor manners. What I cannot understand is why some people get so heated when they review places and items online.

Specifically for book reviews, not everyone likes the same thing. There's a huge difference between pointing out what you didn't like about a book or offering constructive criticism and attacking an author personally. Maybe it's because I understand the blood, sweat, and tears most authors put into their books. Regardless, there's a person behind every book, restaurant, product, retail shop, and service reviewed online. The words left behind can be damaging to people's careers, livelihoods, and self-worth.

Remember that what you say or write travels quickly past a person's mind to their heart. Before you commit your thoughts to words and actions, take a few seconds to consider how you would feel if someone said that about you or someone you loved.

Last November, I wrote a post about bullying and the power of words: The Power of Words: Adult Bullying. A man my sister worked with was chastised for his weight all his life. He considered, on several occasions, committing suicide. It's a powerful reminder of the weight of our words.

Do you think "attacking" reviews should be removed from online sites?

Momentum and Friendships: Author Blog Challenge Wrapping Up

Although this Friday officially wraps up the Author Blog Challenge, I am tackling the last two prompts today.

DAY 27 What has been the best part of participating in the Author Blog Challenge? What are your suggestions for improving the next Author Blog Challenge?

Meeting other writers and becoming more familiar with Laura Orsini, aka Marcie Brock, Book Marketing Maven. I found her post yesterday, Are You Employing the 8 Components of a Successful Book Business?, particularly enlightening and useful. Plus, I've added some books to my to-be-read pile.

I also enjoyed the prompts. I didn't use them every day or follow the schedule, but it was nice to have the idea spark. There were some great questions. Thanks to this challenge, I started planning the movie version of our book, Depression Cookies . The post: Oprah Winfrey and Roger Ebert: Dreaming about Depression Cookies.

Note: In that post, I named Nora Ephron as my dream director. Sadly, she passed away yesterday at the age of 71 . Goodbye, Nora. Thanks for all the wonderful memories and my favorite Meg Ryan films. I plan to do a post this week on her.

DAY 28 What are you going to do to keep the blogging momentum going? What plans do you have to continue your connection with other Author Blog Challenge participants?

I've been blogging pretty much every day since May 2011, so it's actually time for me to pull back and finish two novels that have suffered in the meantime.

My new blog schedule will be Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday. Friday is a theme day: Fun Facts Friday. Wednesday and Sundays are for A Round of Words in 80 Days (ROW80)  posts/updates. Mondays are a free-for-all. With three kids home for summer (12, 10 & 7) and two novels staring me down, I need to refocus for the next few months.

My last three months have been daily blogging challenges: April was the Blogging from A to Z Challenge, May was Michelle Rafter's WordCount Blogathon, and June was the Author Blog Challenge. I completed each one, but now I'm challenged out. Because of the insanity, I did not interact on as many blogs as I would have liked. I hope to remedy that in July and August.

For my fellow Author Blog Challenge participants: what has been your favorite part?

The Heart of a Business

Since the Author Blog Challenge is coming to an end, I wanted to answer a few more of the prompts. My goal is for people who read this blog to get a feeling for me as a writer and a person. I hope some of the answers below accomplish that.

Day 24 If your goal is to sell books, you must view your book as a business. In what ways do you treat your book as a business? Where could you improve? What resources could you leverage to improve your book business?

My two favorite subjects growing up: Math and English. It confounded my teachers and guidance counselors. You would have thought I was the first person in history who was creative but pragmatic, who equally loved dreaming and reality/facts. I love Math for its consistency, 2 + 2 will equal 4 from now until the end of time. I love writing and reading for both its rules (grammar/punctuation/structure) and its limitless freedom.

When I went to college, I finally felt free to choose my own path: Business/Finance major with an English minor. My first “real” job was writing an IBM corporate newsletter while also working in their finance department. Heaven. Now I combine my two loves by writing novels and running my own business. Who knew publishing a book meant running your own business? I didn't until I did it.

I file my own tax returns, created my own Limited Partnership, file quarterly sales tax returns, set up and run a business checking account, visit local bookstores to request they carry my book (with good success), schedule media coverage and press releases (which I write), handle all aspects of marketing… oh, and I write.

If it was in my budget, I’d bring on a publicist and/or marketing professional. Sales puts me the farthest out of my comfort zone. I don’t want to be “the person” people avoid because they think I’ve always got a sales pitch.

Day 25 Time for some shout-outs. This may mimic your acknowledgement page, but whom would you like to publicly thank for their help in creating your book or completing it to the point where it is presently?

I am a very blessed woman. Without the love and support of my family, I would not be the woman I am today. My mom gifted me with the love of language (reading and writing), while my dad taught me to respect language (he’s the grammar, usage guy). They both taught me that anything was possible, with hard work and determination.

My husband of 17 years is the calm to my storm. He believes in me and supports my dreams. Our three beautiful girls (12, 10 & 7) bring me immeasurable joy. They’ve taught me to better appreciate people’s unique talents. I love each of my children the same, and they couldn’t be more different.

Thank you to our early readers: Dad, my sisters, Lane Schroeder, Nancy Clark, Stacey Hartmann, Beth Rice. And a special thank you to our original publisher and editor, Steven Horvath. You left us too soon. All of your encouragement and advice were crucial.

Thank you to every reader who has read and enjoyed our book and passed it on to others. We are grateful. I'd also like to thank all the authors (and bloggers) who paved the way.

A special shout out to Shannon Knobel and Dean Smith. Shannon, without your marketing and book distribution efforts, 200 copies would still be in boxes. Dean, you taught me about press releases and marketing avenues. One of these days, I’ll hire you both!

To Dana, my baby sister… without you there would be no blog and website or a cover for our book.

Finally, to my lovely mother: I can’t put into words how blessed I feel to call you Mom. You didn't just form my body, you cultivated my spirit and grew my heart.

Day 26 What is/will be the subject of your next book?

Mom and I are writing the follow up to Depression Cookies. This time Abby and Krista are facing life apart, as Krista heads to college. The hardest part about being a mother: your job is to prepare your children to leave you. You have to teach your children to fly away, but always let them know they can return to the nest when needed. Sometimes finding our own way leads us down some scary and life-altering paths.

I’m also working on a young adult novel about obsession and dealing with loss. I don’t want to say much more, but it’s a departure for me. Family and women are still at the heart of my story, as I think will always be the case.

Who would you thank for the person you are today?