Russ Colchamiro's Blog, page 15
September 24, 2011
Seinfeld, Subways and the Pick and Wipe
OK, so … I’m on the subway heading to work. It’s about 7:30 a.m., and I’m reading the newspaper, just minding my own business. We make a stop, the doors open, which draws my attention.
In the corner there, is a guy, sitting by himself. He’s maybe 25 or so, in jeans a t-shirt and sandals.
And he’s digging.
Yep, he’s a picker.
I’m not saying he should be up to his elbow in a public place, but to quote Seinfeld:
“An’ what if I did do it? Even though I admit to nothing, and never will. What does that make me? And I’m not here just defending myself but all those pickers out there who’ve been caught. Each an’ every one of them, who has to suffer the shame and humiliation …”
Yet my judgment of Mr. Pick isn’t that he did the picking, per se. It’s what he did after the pick.
I don’t know if on that finger he had a nugget, some goo or just general crusties. But I do know that he reached over by his leg, and, presumably thinking he was being sly, wiped his whole hand over the plank next to his seat.
I mean he just smeared it all over.
And then he did it again!
To quote George Costanza in that same episode:
“I guarantee you that Moses was a picker. You wander through the desert for forty years with that dry air. … You telling me you’re not going to have occasion to clean house a little bit.”
The picking, while nasty, is, I suppose, forgivable.
But the wipe?
Hell no.
I just hope the MTA calls in a HAZMAT team to hose down that subway car before anyone else gets back on it.
In the corner there, is a guy, sitting by himself. He’s maybe 25 or so, in jeans a t-shirt and sandals.
And he’s digging.
Yep, he’s a picker.
I’m not saying he should be up to his elbow in a public place, but to quote Seinfeld:
“An’ what if I did do it? Even though I admit to nothing, and never will. What does that make me? And I’m not here just defending myself but all those pickers out there who’ve been caught. Each an’ every one of them, who has to suffer the shame and humiliation …”
Yet my judgment of Mr. Pick isn’t that he did the picking, per se. It’s what he did after the pick.
I don’t know if on that finger he had a nugget, some goo or just general crusties. But I do know that he reached over by his leg, and, presumably thinking he was being sly, wiped his whole hand over the plank next to his seat.
I mean he just smeared it all over.
And then he did it again!
To quote George Costanza in that same episode:
“I guarantee you that Moses was a picker. You wander through the desert for forty years with that dry air. … You telling me you’re not going to have occasion to clean house a little bit.”
The picking, while nasty, is, I suppose, forgivable.
But the wipe?
Hell no.
I just hope the MTA calls in a HAZMAT team to hose down that subway car before anyone else gets back on it.
September 15, 2011
Russ’ Review: The Good Wife, Season 1
My initial reaction to The Good Wife, before even having seen it was, meh. Not interested. But then I kept hearing how great it was, so I gave it a shot. Having watched all of Season 1, I can say that the quality of the shows is somewhere in the middle.
What Works: The chemistry between the characters is generally good, and the actors all do pretty well with their roles. There’s good tension between the characters and as the season progressed the relationships started to develop. There’s also good, inherent drama with the premise. Julianna Marguiles is Alicia Florek, the spurned wife of Chris Noth’s ridiculed former State’s Attorney, who had an illicit affair and went to jail for alleged crooked dealings. Now she’s a lawyer trying to make a career for herself—despite her husband’s name—but keeps running into those who either judge her for it, or want her to use the political influence she wants to deny she actually has. Plus there’s a potential love triangle here, so lot’s of pulpy drama.
What Doesn’t: Man oh man the plots be dumb as a post. My biggest problem with The Good Wife is that it isn’t really sure what kind of show it wants to be. A pulpy political/office workplace love drama, or a case-of-the-week lawyer show. Problem is, the cases are very silly and often implausible. There are too many examples to list here, but for one, how about the episode where the building managers in the Floreks’ building just happen to be diamond smugglers? Naturally.
Or the one where an injured plaintiff’s wife just happens to have access to a jury pool, so she can screen for someone who’d be open to a bribe … and then has the mojo to arrange back alley payments to throw the case? Wow. She’s good.
Or that the Florek’s 15-year-old son can detect uneven light patterns reflected back in his dad’s eye in a photograph to prove a steamy, drug-fueled photo was a fake—but all law enforcement missed it. Uh. Yeah. I can go on and on. And why does every case need to be wrapped up each week? Lazy plotting.
Final Thoughts: Despite the show’s inherent flaws, it’s still enough of a fast-paced, love-triangle/political chess match to keep me interested. Good characters with juicy entanglements overcome the silly and often implausible storylines, although there are many times when I cringe at the ridiculous plotting. I will say that the second half of the season was much better than the first, so I’m hoping this bodes well for future seasons. As for the first run, fun trumps logic. But just barely.
Season 1 Score: 6 Stars out of 10
http://russcolchamiro.com/2011/08/goo...
What Works: The chemistry between the characters is generally good, and the actors all do pretty well with their roles. There’s good tension between the characters and as the season progressed the relationships started to develop. There’s also good, inherent drama with the premise. Julianna Marguiles is Alicia Florek, the spurned wife of Chris Noth’s ridiculed former State’s Attorney, who had an illicit affair and went to jail for alleged crooked dealings. Now she’s a lawyer trying to make a career for herself—despite her husband’s name—but keeps running into those who either judge her for it, or want her to use the political influence she wants to deny she actually has. Plus there’s a potential love triangle here, so lot’s of pulpy drama.
What Doesn’t: Man oh man the plots be dumb as a post. My biggest problem with The Good Wife is that it isn’t really sure what kind of show it wants to be. A pulpy political/office workplace love drama, or a case-of-the-week lawyer show. Problem is, the cases are very silly and often implausible. There are too many examples to list here, but for one, how about the episode where the building managers in the Floreks’ building just happen to be diamond smugglers? Naturally.
Or the one where an injured plaintiff’s wife just happens to have access to a jury pool, so she can screen for someone who’d be open to a bribe … and then has the mojo to arrange back alley payments to throw the case? Wow. She’s good.
Or that the Florek’s 15-year-old son can detect uneven light patterns reflected back in his dad’s eye in a photograph to prove a steamy, drug-fueled photo was a fake—but all law enforcement missed it. Uh. Yeah. I can go on and on. And why does every case need to be wrapped up each week? Lazy plotting.
Final Thoughts: Despite the show’s inherent flaws, it’s still enough of a fast-paced, love-triangle/political chess match to keep me interested. Good characters with juicy entanglements overcome the silly and often implausible storylines, although there are many times when I cringe at the ridiculous plotting. I will say that the second half of the season was much better than the first, so I’m hoping this bodes well for future seasons. As for the first run, fun trumps logic. But just barely.
Season 1 Score: 6 Stars out of 10
http://russcolchamiro.com/2011/08/goo...
September 14, 2011
Russ’ Newsletter: Vol. 5, No. 8 – New Web Site Launch + E-book!
Hey Gang-
Now that we’ve survived tornadoes, earthquakes and hurricanes, I hope you had a festive end to the summer with a joyous Labor Day celebration. As for me, Abby is practically climbing the walls and Nate is venturing out with his first steps, so we’ve got quite the jungle gym going on at our place.
On the writing front, there’s loads of updates to share, so here we go …
* With a new wave of awesomeness in the works, it was time to deliver a new Web site to match. So thanks to the Web stylings of Mike Rende at SiteByMike, welcome to my brand, spanking new web site!
www.russcolchamiro.com
You’ll see that it’s neatly organized, easy to navigate and loaded with all the bells and whistles you’d want, including new reviews of the latest X-Men movie, the new Planet of the Apes and my take on Season 1 of The Good Wife, among others.
Plus ….. you can now buy Finders Keepers directly through my site! So if you want a personalized, signed copy, it’s just one stop and you’re done!
I’ll be making some minor tweaks along the way, but feedback on the new site welcomed and appreciated.
* Speaking of new stuff … the Finders Keepers e-book is finally out! With the distribution contract I signed it took a little doing to get new files created, but alas … look no more. No matter what device you use, whether Nook, Kindle or Ouija Board, you can order your e-copy of Finders Keepers through Barnes & Noble, Amazon.com and other outlets that will be popping up before too long.
* Believe or not, I’ve already got 2012 on the brain! The end of 2011 and leading into next spring brings an entirely new wave of conventions where I’ll be signing Finders Keepers, so I’m now in the planning stages for my next round of appearances. Check back soon and I’ll have more to share there about that.
* Also on the promotion front, I’m participating in some new Q&As about my crazy trip in the world of book publishing, so I’ll be sharing those as soon as they pop up.
* And now that we’re moving into the cooling air I’m putting the finishing touches on Crossline before I pass it along to my editor extraordinaire, so I’ll be making the hand-off by the end of the month. After that, I’ll finalize the manuscript, get that ready for publication, and then move onto book No. 3.
That’s all she wrote for this edition. Stay tuned for regular updates, be sure to check out my new Web site, and who knows? I may just have another awesome announcement to make before too long …
All the Best!
Russ
http://russcolchamiro.com/2011/09/rus...
Now that we’ve survived tornadoes, earthquakes and hurricanes, I hope you had a festive end to the summer with a joyous Labor Day celebration. As for me, Abby is practically climbing the walls and Nate is venturing out with his first steps, so we’ve got quite the jungle gym going on at our place.
On the writing front, there’s loads of updates to share, so here we go …
* With a new wave of awesomeness in the works, it was time to deliver a new Web site to match. So thanks to the Web stylings of Mike Rende at SiteByMike, welcome to my brand, spanking new web site!
www.russcolchamiro.com
You’ll see that it’s neatly organized, easy to navigate and loaded with all the bells and whistles you’d want, including new reviews of the latest X-Men movie, the new Planet of the Apes and my take on Season 1 of The Good Wife, among others.
Plus ….. you can now buy Finders Keepers directly through my site! So if you want a personalized, signed copy, it’s just one stop and you’re done!
I’ll be making some minor tweaks along the way, but feedback on the new site welcomed and appreciated.
* Speaking of new stuff … the Finders Keepers e-book is finally out! With the distribution contract I signed it took a little doing to get new files created, but alas … look no more. No matter what device you use, whether Nook, Kindle or Ouija Board, you can order your e-copy of Finders Keepers through Barnes & Noble, Amazon.com and other outlets that will be popping up before too long.
* Believe or not, I’ve already got 2012 on the brain! The end of 2011 and leading into next spring brings an entirely new wave of conventions where I’ll be signing Finders Keepers, so I’m now in the planning stages for my next round of appearances. Check back soon and I’ll have more to share there about that.
* Also on the promotion front, I’m participating in some new Q&As about my crazy trip in the world of book publishing, so I’ll be sharing those as soon as they pop up.
* And now that we’re moving into the cooling air I’m putting the finishing touches on Crossline before I pass it along to my editor extraordinaire, so I’ll be making the hand-off by the end of the month. After that, I’ll finalize the manuscript, get that ready for publication, and then move onto book No. 3.
That’s all she wrote for this edition. Stay tuned for regular updates, be sure to check out my new Web site, and who knows? I may just have another awesome announcement to make before too long …
All the Best!
Russ
http://russcolchamiro.com/2011/09/rus...
August 8, 2011
Russ' Newsletter: Vol. 5, No. 7 - The Alaskan Connection + Happy Birthday Nate and Abby!
Hey Gang-
Don't know about you but it's been a scorcher of a summer on my end. I've been full-stop for the past few months on multiple fronts, and to put an amazing cap on the past year, my bundles of joy Nate and Abby celebrate their first birthday next week. It's been truly amazing to watch and experience. And if the next few ... decades are anything like this last year, I cannot wait to see what's next. Liz and I are truly blessed, and on top of everything else, those kids crack me up! They are freakin' hilarious.
And with Abby just starting to walk and Nate starting to discover his inner Bart Simpson-like instinct for causing mayhem, here's what else I've been up to:
* I've been having some fun these past weeks now that Finders Keepers is officially on the shelves of Barnes & Noble! It's in five NYC locations and a bunch in Seattle, plus ... Anchorage, Alaska (and others around the country ... including Rockville, MD). I've dropped by some of the NYC locations to sign them, so if you happen upon them there, you'll get an autographed copy. For a full list of Barnes & Noble locations nationwide where you can find Finders Keepers, see below.
* July wrapped up my summer book signing schedule, where I made stops at the Long Island Toy Show and the East Hanover Comic Book Expo. Not my best shows sales-wise, as they were not quite the right venues for me, but I continued to get the word out and make some new friends. I'll be taking a convention break, but will be back later in the year. And though I sat out the San Diego Comic-Con this year, I'm hoping to make my return in 2012. Stay tuned.
* Keeping the momentum moving forward, I will be unveiling my new Web site some time this month! Because of the various projects I'm involved with and the multi-tiered marketing programs in the works, it was time to revamp the site and give you guys a snazzier, cleaner destination where I can upload new blog posts and photos, make announcements and otherwise make myself available to those Hollywood folks who absolutely MUST have my book for themselves and get that movie in motion! Look for a launch notice any week now.
* Speaking of Hollywood, I've got a pretty intense marketing program in the works -- with some pretty awesome participants -- and now that I've consulted some filmmakers, the project itself has grown in scope. Hate to be secretive here, but until I've got all the elements locked down I'm going to play this one a little bit close. But trust me. It's in motion. And it's very cool.
* And lest you think I forgot to mention, my second novel Crossline is still speeding along. I'm in the final revisions now, and then I turn the manuscript over to a top notch editor I know who gave me critical feedback on Finders Keepers that helped make it the success it is today. So I think I've got the right guy to also help me get Crossline to where it needs to be.
That's all she wrote for this edition. I'll be back around Labor Day for a final summer announcement, where I'll be sharing the latest news on Finders Keepers and report back on Nate and Abby's first birthday party, which should be awesomeness supreme.
All the Best!
Russ
Finders Keepers in Barnes & Noble:
#2988 - Fox Run Crossings, 45 Gosling Rd, Portsmouth, NH
#2791 - 235 Daniel Webster Hwy, Nashua, NH
#2966 - 98 Middlesex Pkwy, Burlington, MA
#2957 - 60 Pine St., Pacific Place, Downtown Seattle, WA
#2965 - 106 Court Street, Brooklyn, NY
#2784 - 200 East Northern Lights Blvd, Anchorage, AK
#2876 - 267 7th Avenue, Park Slope, Brooklyn, NY
#2942 - Hacienda Crossings, 4972 Dublin Blvd, Dublin, CA
#2575 - 1201 3rd St Promenade, Santa Monica, CA
#2281 - Kitsap Mall, 10315 Silverdale Way, Silverdale, WA
#2280 - Northgate Mall, 401 NE Northgate Way, Seattle, WA
#1979 - 82nd and Broadway, NY, NY
#2278 - 86th & Lexington, NY, NY
#2262 - Clackamass Town Center Mall, Portland, OR
#2536 - Arboretum, 10,000 Research Blvd., Austin Texas
#2703 - Spectrum Center, 1851 Fountain Dr., Reston, VA
#2573 - University Village, 2675 NE University Village St., Seattle, WA
#2675 - Union Square - NY, NY
#2234 - 555 Fifth Avenune, NY, NY
#2764 - 12089 Rockville Pike, Montrose Crossing, Rockville, MD
#2238 - Tysons Corner Mall, McLean, VA
#2275 - 131 Colonie Centre, Albany, NY
--
Russ Colchamiro
Author of Finders Keepers, published by 3 Finger Prints
www.russcolchamiro.com
www.richkoslowski.com
@findkeepnovel (Twitter)
Follow me on Facebook
To see my video interview at the NY Comic-Con:
http://bit.ly/bfA7oL
To read my Publishers Weekly Q&A:
http://bit.ly/igtiec
To buy Finders Keepers via 3 Finger Prints:
http://www.richkoslowski.com/Details....
Don't know about you but it's been a scorcher of a summer on my end. I've been full-stop for the past few months on multiple fronts, and to put an amazing cap on the past year, my bundles of joy Nate and Abby celebrate their first birthday next week. It's been truly amazing to watch and experience. And if the next few ... decades are anything like this last year, I cannot wait to see what's next. Liz and I are truly blessed, and on top of everything else, those kids crack me up! They are freakin' hilarious.
And with Abby just starting to walk and Nate starting to discover his inner Bart Simpson-like instinct for causing mayhem, here's what else I've been up to:
* I've been having some fun these past weeks now that Finders Keepers is officially on the shelves of Barnes & Noble! It's in five NYC locations and a bunch in Seattle, plus ... Anchorage, Alaska (and others around the country ... including Rockville, MD). I've dropped by some of the NYC locations to sign them, so if you happen upon them there, you'll get an autographed copy. For a full list of Barnes & Noble locations nationwide where you can find Finders Keepers, see below.
* July wrapped up my summer book signing schedule, where I made stops at the Long Island Toy Show and the East Hanover Comic Book Expo. Not my best shows sales-wise, as they were not quite the right venues for me, but I continued to get the word out and make some new friends. I'll be taking a convention break, but will be back later in the year. And though I sat out the San Diego Comic-Con this year, I'm hoping to make my return in 2012. Stay tuned.
* Keeping the momentum moving forward, I will be unveiling my new Web site some time this month! Because of the various projects I'm involved with and the multi-tiered marketing programs in the works, it was time to revamp the site and give you guys a snazzier, cleaner destination where I can upload new blog posts and photos, make announcements and otherwise make myself available to those Hollywood folks who absolutely MUST have my book for themselves and get that movie in motion! Look for a launch notice any week now.
* Speaking of Hollywood, I've got a pretty intense marketing program in the works -- with some pretty awesome participants -- and now that I've consulted some filmmakers, the project itself has grown in scope. Hate to be secretive here, but until I've got all the elements locked down I'm going to play this one a little bit close. But trust me. It's in motion. And it's very cool.
* And lest you think I forgot to mention, my second novel Crossline is still speeding along. I'm in the final revisions now, and then I turn the manuscript over to a top notch editor I know who gave me critical feedback on Finders Keepers that helped make it the success it is today. So I think I've got the right guy to also help me get Crossline to where it needs to be.
That's all she wrote for this edition. I'll be back around Labor Day for a final summer announcement, where I'll be sharing the latest news on Finders Keepers and report back on Nate and Abby's first birthday party, which should be awesomeness supreme.
All the Best!
Russ
Finders Keepers in Barnes & Noble:
#2988 - Fox Run Crossings, 45 Gosling Rd, Portsmouth, NH
#2791 - 235 Daniel Webster Hwy, Nashua, NH
#2966 - 98 Middlesex Pkwy, Burlington, MA
#2957 - 60 Pine St., Pacific Place, Downtown Seattle, WA
#2965 - 106 Court Street, Brooklyn, NY
#2784 - 200 East Northern Lights Blvd, Anchorage, AK
#2876 - 267 7th Avenue, Park Slope, Brooklyn, NY
#2942 - Hacienda Crossings, 4972 Dublin Blvd, Dublin, CA
#2575 - 1201 3rd St Promenade, Santa Monica, CA
#2281 - Kitsap Mall, 10315 Silverdale Way, Silverdale, WA
#2280 - Northgate Mall, 401 NE Northgate Way, Seattle, WA
#1979 - 82nd and Broadway, NY, NY
#2278 - 86th & Lexington, NY, NY
#2262 - Clackamass Town Center Mall, Portland, OR
#2536 - Arboretum, 10,000 Research Blvd., Austin Texas
#2703 - Spectrum Center, 1851 Fountain Dr., Reston, VA
#2573 - University Village, 2675 NE University Village St., Seattle, WA
#2675 - Union Square - NY, NY
#2234 - 555 Fifth Avenune, NY, NY
#2764 - 12089 Rockville Pike, Montrose Crossing, Rockville, MD
#2238 - Tysons Corner Mall, McLean, VA
#2275 - 131 Colonie Centre, Albany, NY
--
Russ Colchamiro
Author of Finders Keepers, published by 3 Finger Prints
www.russcolchamiro.com
www.richkoslowski.com
@findkeepnovel (Twitter)
Follow me on Facebook
To see my video interview at the NY Comic-Con:
http://bit.ly/bfA7oL
To read my Publishers Weekly Q&A:
http://bit.ly/igtiec
To buy Finders Keepers via 3 Finger Prints:
http://www.richkoslowski.com/Details....
June 16, 2011
Finders Keepers Father's Day Giveaway!
Hi Gang-
As a new dad myself celebrating my very first Father's Day, I figured this was a perfect time for a new Finders Keepers giveway.
Plus ... for you Kiwis out there, I am an American author, with a novel that takes place, in part, throughout New Zealand. One of the main chartacters is from Auckland, and part of the narrative stretches across the North Island, including Auckland, Cook's Beach and Rotorua, among others.
If you're curious about the rest, read below.
And good luck!
Russ
For fans of uproarious sci-fi and fantasy classics such as Hitchhikers’ Guide to the Galaxy, Christopher Moore's Lamb and A Dirty Job, and Terry Pratchett’s Discworld series, plus TV shows and movies such as Quantum Leap, Time Bandits and The Big Bang Theory, Finders Keepers is a buddy story that mixes chapter-to-chapter cliffhangers with humor, heart, romance, outrageous characters and time-bending, galaxy-twisting pratfalls.
Caught in the netherworld between college and a career, novice traveler Jason Medley and adventuresome Theo Barnes stumble through hash bars and hangovers, religious zealots and stalkers, food poisoning and thunderstorms, saucy girls and overnight trains—and all under the looming specter of adult responsibility.
But when a jar of the Universe’s DNA accidentally drops to Earth from Eternity, these new friends find their loyalties put to the test—unaware that a motley crew from another realm is feverishly chasing them across the globe, with the fate of the Milky Way hanging in the balance.
As a new dad myself celebrating my very first Father's Day, I figured this was a perfect time for a new Finders Keepers giveway.
Plus ... for you Kiwis out there, I am an American author, with a novel that takes place, in part, throughout New Zealand. One of the main chartacters is from Auckland, and part of the narrative stretches across the North Island, including Auckland, Cook's Beach and Rotorua, among others.
If you're curious about the rest, read below.
And good luck!
Russ
For fans of uproarious sci-fi and fantasy classics such as Hitchhikers’ Guide to the Galaxy, Christopher Moore's Lamb and A Dirty Job, and Terry Pratchett’s Discworld series, plus TV shows and movies such as Quantum Leap, Time Bandits and The Big Bang Theory, Finders Keepers is a buddy story that mixes chapter-to-chapter cliffhangers with humor, heart, romance, outrageous characters and time-bending, galaxy-twisting pratfalls.
Caught in the netherworld between college and a career, novice traveler Jason Medley and adventuresome Theo Barnes stumble through hash bars and hangovers, religious zealots and stalkers, food poisoning and thunderstorms, saucy girls and overnight trains—and all under the looming specter of adult responsibility.
But when a jar of the Universe’s DNA accidentally drops to Earth from Eternity, these new friends find their loyalties put to the test—unaware that a motley crew from another realm is feverishly chasing them across the globe, with the fate of the Milky Way hanging in the balance.
June 5, 2011
FINDERS KEEPERS Father's Day Sale!
Hey Gang-
In the spirit of Father's Day, what better way to celebrate than to scoop up your very own signed, pesonalized copy of FINDERS KEEPERS ... for just $10!
FREE SHIPPING IN THE U.S.!
That's right. For the low-low price of $10, just head over to http://www.richkoslowski.com/Details.... and pick a copy for yourself, a friend and, of course, all the dads out there.
Enjoy!
Russ
In the spirit of Father's Day, what better way to celebrate than to scoop up your very own signed, pesonalized copy of FINDERS KEEPERS ... for just $10!
FREE SHIPPING IN THE U.S.!
That's right. For the low-low price of $10, just head over to http://www.richkoslowski.com/Details.... and pick a copy for yourself, a friend and, of course, all the dads out there.
Enjoy!
Russ
May 31, 2011
My Exclusive Q&A with Book Reviewer Melissa Hayden
Hi Gang-
Book reviewer and all around good folk Melissa Hayden -- who gave Finders Keepers a big, big thumbs up -- did an exclusive interview with yours truly about where I concocted all this cosmic lunacy, some of my favorite elements from my novel, my loathing of tomatoes and what I'm up to next.
To read all about it, you can visit Melisa at http://melissa-melsworld.blogspot.com....
All the Best!
Russ
Book reviewer and all around good folk Melissa Hayden -- who gave Finders Keepers a big, big thumbs up -- did an exclusive interview with yours truly about where I concocted all this cosmic lunacy, some of my favorite elements from my novel, my loathing of tomatoes and what I'm up to next.
To read all about it, you can visit Melisa at http://melissa-melsworld.blogspot.com....
All the Best!
Russ
