Nath Jones's Blog - Posts Tagged "trust"
Friends, Real Ones
I really wasn't expecting to have to go sell this collection of short stories. I thought I'd do the five On Impulse collections, revise a novel or two, and then start pitching agents. I thought pharmacy would be the underpinning and I could just kind of plug away quietly at the writing, refining my craft.
As it happens, the pharmacy went out of business, which is completely understandable. Other retail pharmacist jobs are in fairly short supply. I'm sending resumes, setting up one-on-ones, networking, exploring other careers, meeting with people who do those other things, emailing mentors--doing all the stuff you're supposed to do for a job search and: nada. There were four conversations about running a hospital pharmacy in Guam but that ultimately went the way of all things.
Meanwhile, here comes this book, Acquainted with Squalor: Short Stories. It's just a little book. No big deal. A collection of short stories written by another aspiring talent from another MFA program. Great. I never thought it would be the one to bet the farm on. But what is happening is that doors are opening for the book that are not opening for my pharmacy career right now. And it's the most beautiful validation.
People are opening their homes. One of my best friends designed a tee shirt to match the book cover. A woman I know is driving with me to all the book events for the first week. Another friend is driving with me for several more. It just keeps happening. People just keep helping. A guy I know says he can introduce me to a photographer who can take the work, "to a whole other level." Three friends are helping me book events, which has led two more friends to suggest even more great locations.
What a bounty in the exact moment when it seemed I have no real prospects.
Still. There's this resistance to really offering myself to the work. I love to give 98% and then say it will all be supported by a pharmacist's income. Well, maybe the book will find its audience. Maybe the audience will love the characters the way I do.
Maybe it's possible to trust that enough, to follow this quiet path of openings and opportunities far enough that I will allow something to happen, which I don't believe can.
As it happens, the pharmacy went out of business, which is completely understandable. Other retail pharmacist jobs are in fairly short supply. I'm sending resumes, setting up one-on-ones, networking, exploring other careers, meeting with people who do those other things, emailing mentors--doing all the stuff you're supposed to do for a job search and: nada. There were four conversations about running a hospital pharmacy in Guam but that ultimately went the way of all things.
Meanwhile, here comes this book, Acquainted with Squalor: Short Stories. It's just a little book. No big deal. A collection of short stories written by another aspiring talent from another MFA program. Great. I never thought it would be the one to bet the farm on. But what is happening is that doors are opening for the book that are not opening for my pharmacy career right now. And it's the most beautiful validation.
People are opening their homes. One of my best friends designed a tee shirt to match the book cover. A woman I know is driving with me to all the book events for the first week. Another friend is driving with me for several more. It just keeps happening. People just keep helping. A guy I know says he can introduce me to a photographer who can take the work, "to a whole other level." Three friends are helping me book events, which has led two more friends to suggest even more great locations.
What a bounty in the exact moment when it seemed I have no real prospects.
Still. There's this resistance to really offering myself to the work. I love to give 98% and then say it will all be supported by a pharmacist's income. Well, maybe the book will find its audience. Maybe the audience will love the characters the way I do.
Maybe it's possible to trust that enough, to follow this quiet path of openings and opportunities far enough that I will allow something to happen, which I don't believe can.
