Joshua Becker's Blog, page 33

Things That Matter Book Tour Recap

Thank you for an amazing past few weeks!

During the month of July, my family embarked on a 3,000 mile journey from Omaha, NE to Atlanta, GA to Austin, TX to celebrate the release of Things That Matter: Overcoming Distraction to Pursue a More Meaningful Life.

During that time, we visited 12 cities to speak and meet thousands of you from the Becoming Minimalist Community.

In 2016, we toured the West Coast when The More of Less released.

In 2019, we toured the East Coast when The Minimalist Home was published.

And in 2022, we toured twelve cities in the Midwest and South for Things That Matter.

Because my speaking events began outdrawing the capacity of bookstores back in 2019, we rented space on college campuses for this tour. This change brought a lot of extra work, but allowed so many more people to attend. I’m thankful for my wife Kim who handled all of the venue logistics. If you’re looking for a Tour Manager… I know one! :)

Each event contained a guest speaker, a talk from me on the topic of “overcoming distraction to pursue a more meaningful life,” a Q&A with the audience, and time for book signing & photos.

At every event, I was met with the following words, “Thank you for coming here.” But I learned early in the tour the person who benefited the most during our time together was me.

Getting to meet so many of you face-to-face and hearing your stories of how Becoming Minimalist has impacted your life was truly inspiring. It was encouraging to me each time to keep doing what I’m doing.

I publish words on the Internet. I read the comments that are left on articles or posts on social media. And I get to read emails from many of you. But nothing can replace getting to see you in-person and hearing your stories firsthand.

So, from the bottom of my heart, to everyone who attended one of the events, thank you!

I visited the following cities: Phoenix, Omaha, Des Moines, Chicago, Indianapolis, Louisville, Nashville, Atlanta, Birmingham, New Orleans, Houston, and Austin.

And if you did not have a chance to attend an event, rest assured, there will be more.

If you could have attended one of the events, it might have looked something like this:

Special thanks to the following guest speakers who joined me on stage:

Adam BakerKim BeckerJoe DaragoBob and Linda LotichScott RoseJoel RunyonRachel Macy StaffordBob Thune Sr.

Along the route, I took some extra notes. :)

Based entirely on the popular vote, here were some of my family’s favorite places to visit during the tour:

Our favorite Restaurants:

Atlanta Breakfast Club, AtlantaThe Original Ninfa’s on Navigation, HoustonFong’s Pizza, Des Moines

Our favorite Ice Cream:

Coneflower Creamery, OmahaGraeter’s Ice Cream, LouisvilleJeni’s Ice Cream, Nashville

And our favorite Activities:

Georgia Aquarium, AtlantaChicago Architectural Boat Tour, ChicagoCafe Du Monde, New Orleans

This is, almost certainly, something I will do again. There is a season of life right around the corner when my kids will no longer be at home and I will be able to travel with Kim and do more speaking events at that time.

Until then, you can find all of my upcoming speaking engagements, or invite me to speak at your next event, here on My Speaking page.

15 Places (other than Possessions) to Apply Minimalist Principles

Minimalism, as the word is most often used these days, pertains to a lifestyle of intentionally owning less.

As I have written elsewhere, the goal of minimalism isn’t to own the fewest number of things possible, the goal is to own just the right amount of things to focus our priorities on our greatest passion. I don’t want my possessions to be a burden to my life—whether in abundance or lack.

In this way, minimalism becomes more about what is added to my life than what is given up.

So the definition I most use when discussing minimalism is this:

Minimalism is the intentional promotion of the things we most value and the removal of anything that distracts us from it.

With that broader understanding, we can begin to see how the principles of minimalism can apply to other areas of life besides possessions. (Not that they have to, but they can).

Here are 15 places (other than possessions) we can apply minimalist principles:

1. Money Spent

It is important to note that minimalism and frugality are not the same thing. In fact, you can still spend quite a bit of money owning less by buying higher quality items or spending money on other things (travel, food, experiences, etc.).

But the principles of minimalism can also be applied to the amount of money that we spend by intentionally looking for unhelpful expenditures in our life.

2. Money Needed

It is also true: The less you need to own, the less money you need to live.

But I believe the principles of minimalism can apply to money in an even more life-giving way than simply spending less.

Once we realize that we can live with less, we become able to pay off debt, give more, or even choose work that pays less but results in more personal meaning.

3. Work

In The One Thing: The Surprisingly Simple Truth Behind Extraordinary Results, Gary W. Keller and Jay Papasan make this very point: There is great value in simplifying our workload by focusing on the one most important task we must complete.

Minimize the extra, focus on the essential. Not just in your home, but in your work as well.

4. Social Media

Social media may be one of the greatest distractions in our lives today keeping us from promoting our values.

Sure, there are advantages to social media, but there are also downsides. Minimize the distraction of social media in a way that it can help you accomplish your purposes in life rather than distract you from them.

5. Schedule

Busy has become the default state for many of us. But is the state improving our lives? Certainly not. Being busy and being productive are too different things.

A busy life is an unexamined life. And an unexamined life is rarely worth living.

As Søren Kierkegaard once said, “Of all ridiculous things the most ridiculous seems to me, to be busy.”

You can apply the principles of minimalism to your schedule by aligning your commitments with your values.

6. Habits

Intentionality in one area of life often sparks intentionality in other areas. That was my experience when pursuing minimalism with my possessions.

As I began to own less and experienced taking back control of my home and life, I began to notice other habits that were not serving me. So I began making changes in my life: exercising, eating better, waking earlier, tidying up our home each evening.

Our habits shape our lives—both daily and over a lifetime. Remove the unhealthy ones and promote those that benefit your one life.

7. Food

I have written elsewhere how embracing the idea of eating less variety can benefit you and your family. You can find that conversation here: You Eat Less Variety Than You Think. Embrace It.

Some people think I am calling for a less healthy diet by embracing the idea of eating less variety. But I am not. I am merely pointing out that there are benefits to a meal routine that you may have not considered (including eating healthier).

Minimalist principles can be applied to the food that we eat just as they can be applied to the possessions that we own.

8. Entertainment

Entertainment is a brilliant example of the life-giving nature of minimalism.

A healthy dose of entertainment is essential to living well—just like a healthy number of possessions. But when entertainment begins to dictate our lives, it begins to distract us from greater meaning and opportunity.

Keep the entertainment in your life that nourishes your soul and mind, minimize the rest.

9. Our Words

Just like minimalism in possessions, minimizing the words that we use looks very different from one person to another. Some careers require more speaking than others (i.e., a teacher) and some personalities will naturally talk more than others.

When I speak about the opportunity of applying minimalist principles to the words that we use, I don’t necessarily mean limiting the number of words that we speak (although the principles can often be applied there as well).

I think more of choosing carefully the words that we speak—selecting words that encourage and lift up and motivate others towards our values, rather than words that intentionally or unintentionally tear others down.

To get a sense of how to learn this and the importance of it, try this: A Simple Experiment to Change Your View of Words.

10. Negative Self-Talk

Granted, this is not always easy to do, and people can spend a lifetime trying to change the stories they tell themselves (with or without minimalism).

But we are too often our harshest critic allowing fear, regret, blame, or negative outcomes to dominate our thinking. Often, the approach needed to minimize this self-talk is to choose our thoughts more intentionally.

By the way, many times, owning fewer possessions frees up the mental capacity to do this better.

11. Digital Clutter

When asked, I always encourage people to focus on decluttering physical possessions before decluttering digital clutter. Physical possessions are simply a greater burden and source of visual stress than digital clutter.

But there is still a time and place to minimize the digital clutter in our lives: email, apps, photos, icons, even documents saved.

If the digital clutter on our devices is becoming a distraction from our best life and highest pursuits, it is time to apply minimalist principles to this area as well and remove the unneeded.

12. Goals

By reducing the number of goals that we are striving to accomplish, we improve our focus and success rate.

“If you chase two rabbits, you will lose them both” is how the old proverb puts it.

Rather than chasing too many things at one time, get clear on the most important goals in front of you and prioritize them above all the others.

13. Notifications

Being available to others is a good thing. Being constantly distracted is not.

Not that long ago, being interrupted by someone trying to reach us happened only a few times each day (allowing us to focus better on deeper work).

But nowadays, our attention is attacked all day long by beeps, dings, and vibrations (email, phone, social media).

You can easily apply minimalist principles to these distractions by closing your inbox or removing all notifications from your phone (I only allow text and phone call notifications on mine).

14. Visual Clutter

It is one thing to minimize possessions, it is another thing to minimize the visual clutter and visual noise in your life. Visual noise is any random visual stimulus that draws our attention.

Minimizing visual clutter could be as simple as putting things away after we use them so they no longer beg for our attention. Or as complicated as keeping all the surfaces in our home clear of unneeded items.

15. Success

The world around us communicates constantly on how we should measure success: the money we have, the houses we live in, the cars we drive, the clothes we wear, or the number of followers we accrue.

But I’ll let you in on an important secret: The world is not conspiring for your good. Often times, the very places we are encouraged to pursue success by society take us away from our highest pursuits of meaning and fulfillment.

Get clear on what personal success looks like in your life by minimizing outside descriptions. When we do, we almost always define it differently.

*I should mention, in closing, that I cringe when I see anyone make sweeping generalities about minimalism.

Any sentence that starts with the phrase, “Minimalism also means that you _____________,” is usually wrong and is most often an indication of something important to the author that they wish to be important to others.

I am not offering this list above as “You can only become minimalist if you do x, y, and z.”

I offer this list as simply an opportunity and invitation to begin applying minimalist principles to other areas in life besides physical possessions.

But the goal is always the same: Promote our greatest values and passions by reducing the amount of distractions.

Six Things I’ve Learned from the Amish About Living Intentionally

Note: This is a guest post from Vannetta Chapman.

My first novel about the Amish was published in 2010. Since then, I’ve published 28 additional books about the Plain people. I’ve also visited communities in Indiana, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Oklahoma, Colorado, and Wisconsin.

I began my own journey with minimalism two years ago when I took a Joshua Becker course. I’ve noticed many similarities between the Amish and those of us among the “Englisch” who are seeking to live a more intentional life.

In case you aren’t familiar with the Amish, they are a group of people whose roots stretch back to the Anabaptist. They’re known for living simply, dressing plainly, and farming in an old-fashioned way.

In general, Amish don’t have electricity in their homes, they don’t own cars or go to college, and they have large families. However, any similarities to the Puritans of 17th century America ends there.

The Amish are life-long learners who regularly use computers at their local libraries. Many communities embrace solar power for their businesses, and they don’t mind hiring a driver in order to visit neighboring towns.

So, what can we learn about the Amish that can help our quest to embrace minimalism?

Here are six things I’ve learned about living intentionally from the Amish:

1. Be intentional about what we let into our lives.

Contrary to popular belief as well as their presentation in modern media, the Amish don’t shun all technology. They are simply very intentional about what they allow into their lives.

I’ve spoken with many Amish families about this, and they do not want an endless march of tech toys in their home. They believe that having a phone, computer, or television in their home will distract from their family time.

I’m not ready to leave my phone in the mailbox so it doesn’t interrupt dinner, but I am more intentional about turning off the ringer and notifications—especially during meals and family time. I have chosen not to have a television in every room in my house. I use my desktop computer for work, and when the workday is over I turn it off.

Hoping we will have more time to spend with our children or significant other isn’t good enough. We have to make the decision to put them first and take steps that reflect their importance in our lives.

2. Choose to stay home over yet another social event.

The Amish have a very tightly knit social community. Their get-togethers are large—weddings regularly include over 500 guests and everyone is involved in the local school.

However, they generally don’t go out at night—they’re home with their family, doing schoolwork, playing games, and taking care of evening farm chores. They choose to embrace a slowed down version of life.

At first, I felt a bit anti-social saying no to coffee dates, weeknight concert tickets, and committee positions. But once I allowed myself to spend the majority of my evenings at home, I quickly understood the benefits.

I’m less exhausted. My family’s stress level is down. Home has become a refuge again, a place to gather, recharge, and prepare for the next day.

3. Simplify celebrations.

The Amish love to party, but their celebrations look a bit different than ours.

The entire extended family often shows up. Gifts tend to be homemade or utilitarian. Because they don’t often eat out, a trip to the local ice cream shop with the whole family is a big deal. They love playing games together, whether it’s board games, baseball, or volleyball.

The emphasis is more on being together and less on wrapped presents—in fact, they don’t wrap presents at all! Even wedding gifts are displayed on a long table, unwrapped.

When I was a single mom, it was difficult for me to find extra money for gifts. It was a big deal when I’d saved enough to buy my son a new Lego set. Now that my children and my husband’s children are adults and our income has stabilized, we understand that they don’t need “things” from us. In most cases they don’t even want things.

But they love being celebrated—we go out for a special dinner, watch a movie together, or play a game of cards. The celebration is just as special without renting a bouncy house (which would be strange for 30-year-olds) or buying expensive gifts.

4. Avoid Debt.

It is very rare that you will find an Amish person who is in debt. Occasionally they will take out a loan for their home, but more often they simply live with their parents until they have enough saved up to purchase their own piece of property.

That home will often be small, which means they will add on to it as they have children. The property may also be less acreage than they want, so they’ll watch for an adjacent neighbor looking to sell a few acres.

I, on the other hand, have always anticipated what I might need and overbought. Big things or small, I always bought more than what I needed. Looking for a house? Buy a big one just in case. Who knows? I might have 5 children. (I was only able to have 1.)

If I could go back and speak to myself, if I could follow the Amish example, I would be content with what I need now and let tomorrow take care of itself.

5. Be satisfied with less.

When I first visited the Amish, I had a difficult time understanding that they truly were happy with less.

One of the first farms we toured in Indiana was a very pretty, 98-acre place. After visiting with the owner (a friendly, personable old guy wearing suspenders and sporting a long beard), we learned that he had been offered 6 million dollars for his farm. Someone wanted to build a golf course there. He turned them down. That literally blew my mind.

After all, this family was making less than $20,000 a year. Surely, they could use that money! The person who took us to the farm explained it this way. “What would he do with 6 million dollars that he isn’t doing now? He’s content with his life, and his children are independent adults who are content with their lives.”

I could think of a lot of things to do with $6 million, but over the years, as my own life has settled into a less stressful rhythm, I’ve come to understand that money isn’t always the answer.

Would I be more happy with $6 million? Probably not (though I might be tempted to give it a try if someone offered it to me). I do understand that more money doesn’t fix every problem, that the job that pays more may not be the best fit for me, and owning a bigger house or newer car isn’t going to make me happier.

6. Put first things first.

The Amish don’t live an untroubled life in an idyllic setting with perfect people.

When we look at their lives though the one thing that stands out the most—more than the horse and buggy, large families, and lack of technology—is that they seem to have found a way to put first things first.

Family, neighbors, friends, faith… these are the things that are the pivot points of their lives. They are not interested in a newer car, the latest phone, or another promotion.

As I’ve spent countless hours with the Amish and as I’ve written many books about them, it’s helped me to understand what the pivot points in my life should be.

Family, neighbors, friends, faith…these are the things that really matter to me. These are the things that I will look back on and wish that I’d made priorities.

So I try to do that every day. If my adult son calls, I put aside what I’m working on and talk with him. If my mom stops by for an unannounced visit, I give her my time. I try to intentionally live in a way that puts first things first.

So what’s the point?

If you have an Amish community around you, I strongly suggest you visit. Although you might not want to trade in your car for a buggy, you’ll no doubt take away at least one thing that you can incorporate into your life.

If you don’t have any Plain folks around, pay attention to some of the other families in your neighborhood, school, or church. Who isn’t stressed? Who doesn’t have a look of perpetual frenzy on their face? Maybe start a conversation with them. It could be that something they are doing will translate well to your life and your pursuit of intentional living.

***

Vannetta Chapman is the USA Today and Publishers Weekly bestselling author of 39 novels, many of them about the Amish. You can find out more about her books on her website. You can also follow her on Twitter.

Taking the Path of Least Resistance

Note: This is a guest post by Amanda Brownlow of Hello Brownlow.

Taking the path of least resistance is often easy. For many, that’s how they prefer to live life as it often feels good in the moment to get exactly what you want when you want it. But at what physical, emotional, and financial price are we willing to pay to take the path of least resistance?

The path of least resistance looks easy on the surface.

The path of least resistance often looks easy on the surface. Take furniture shopping for example (a pain point for many).

You walk into a well-lit store with hundreds of options to choose from. A kind sales person immediately greets you and asks what you’re interested in purchasing. Of course, they have exactly what you’re looking to buy! It comes in five colors and you can customize it to your liking. Do they ship directly to your home? Absolutely! Was it in stock? Surprisingly, yes! They accept cash, check, credit cards or you could finance it. This is a big purchase, so you choose to finance it. You walk out of the furniture store thinking you’ve made a great purchase and it was much easier than you thought it would be to find the perfect piece for your home. 

The furniture you chose arrives at your home, it gets installed, and looks beautiful. But don’t touch it! We just spent a fortune on it. You now spend time and effort keeping your new perfect-for-you furniture clean and in mint condition because it was expensive. Because it was so expensive, you decided to finance at an interest rate you didn’t care about at the time of the purchase, but now the bill has come and yikes! – it’s a little higher than you thought. This easy option is starting to look a little harder than you thought. 

There is truth in this story. The part about needing new furniture and being shown exactly what we want? That was us, except our story turns out to be different.

We found a gorgeous solid wood table with four matching chairs with a price tag of nearly $5,000. Yes, just a table and four chairs! But it was exactly what we thought we wanted – solid wood that would last a lifetime.  The price tag hurt my frugal soul, but at that moment, I absolutely thought it was the best choice for us. 

The day after we purchased the table, I had a sense of deep regret. That dining table that we would have to work for a whole month to afford didn’t fit our season of life. We have a young son who loves to smash toy cars and paint masterpieces. With a table like that, I would have guarded it, cleaned it, and taken care of it like it was my job. I didn’t want to put that much time, effort, and energy into doing so.. I wanted to enjoy this messy season of life we are in and that “easy” choice would have prohibited me from doing so.

What did we do? We marched down to the Salvation Army and found a solid wood, made in America table with four chairs for $140. Immediately our expensive furniture store purchase was canceled and we rejoiced at our frugal, secondhand find. Did we need to find a friend with a truck to help deliver it? Yes. Did it need a good scrub? Also very much yes. But will I waste my time worrying away about keeping it clean or not getting paint on it? Nope! The path we took to find a table secondhand that better fit with our season of life was not an “easy” option, but it was the best option for our family.

The price we pay for “easy”.

There are plenty of easy decisions we make in life. Like deciding to drink the recommended amount of water we need on a daily basis (a personal struggle). That’s an easy choice for me because I value my health. However, when we spend a large portion of our day being bombarded with advertisements and “influencers” on social media, it is easy to make decisions that aren’t really in our best interests.

Easy decisions on the path of least resistance often take a toll on us physically and mentally. You purchase an item and it arrives at your doorstep. You’re excited and unpack it, but it doesn’t live up to your expectations after a few uses. You now have to make more decisions on an item that upfront, looked like an easy path to take. Trash, donate, pass to a friend, shove in your clutter closet? Any option you choose will take additional mental and physical energy to complete. Even if you decide to keep the item because you spent your hard earned money on it – you still have to store, clean, and maintain whatever it is because it is still in your home.

The financial impact of decisions made on the path of least resistance is often marked by regret. You regret that you gave into targeting marketing (no shame, they’re very good at their job), regret you put the purchase on your credit card or dipped into your savings, or that it is now past the return window and there’s no getting your money back.  Could you sell it? Sure. That takes time, energy, and patience. If it’s causing you mental and emotional stress, let it go immediately. That money is already gone. Nothing is more valuable than your mental health. 

The opposite of easy decisions aren’t necessarily hard ones.

There is nothing wrong in making an easy decision if it is in your best interests. Set yourself up for success by establishing priorities and forming new habits. Establishing these will help make those decisions that seem hard now a whole lot easier in the future. Trying new things (goal setting, establishing habits, slowing down) can be challenging. Remember that this is for you and you deserve to be in control of the decisions you make.

Set priorities and goals.

Establishing priorities and goals gives yourself permission to say “no” to things. Like buying a new wardrobe or new gadget-y thing from an ad – does this enhance one of your priorities or does it hinder it? 

As a family, set priorities. Your top priorities could look like:

spending time together everydayeating dinner as a familytaking time to restdrinking water

Your goals could look like:

saving money for a trip or home renovationskeeping your home clutter freereading a certain number of books each month.

With priorities and goals in mind, it becomes a lot easier to say “yes” to things that aren’t on the path of least resistance because you’ve said “no” to all the other “easy” things that would have gotten in the way or consumed your time, energy, and finances. 

Remind yourself of these priorities and goals by putting them in an easy-to-see place, like a fridge, calendar, inside your planner, or as the background on your phone. This way, when you feel an impulse purchase coming on, you can easily say “no thanks”. 

Form new habits.

Creating new habits is easier said than done. However, when that habit sticks, magic happens. Habits that can help you establish a path of your own could include: 

budgeting every week/monthcreating a list of things you’d like to buy and then waiting 72 hours before making a purchaseasking yourself “is this really for me? Or am I doing this to please/to benefit/to look good for someone else?”looking toward the future if you had that item in your life (storing, using, maintaining, disposing)Instead of shopping or scrolling, check your feelings and finding something different to do that will make you feel good for longer

When you have habits that promote feeling good and making better decisions for yourself, you find opportunities to do things that seem hard at first. This could be anything! Finding secondhand items you need instead of buying new seems hard at first. But when you have your first small success stacked on top of your goals, priorities, and habits – magic happens! You can do something that was hard at first but now is easy for you. 

Choosing the path of least resistance is often an easy choice. However, those easy made-for-you options that we are confronted with everyday through advertising and social media don’t necessarily have your best interests in mind. You won’t hurt their feelings by passing on an offer if it takes a toll on you physically, mentally, or financially. Make your own easy choices by putting in a little work up front and setting priorities, goals, and establishing habits. Create your own path to the life you envision for yourself, unaffected by what others tell you your life should look like. It’s your life to enjoy.

***

Amanda Brownlow is the blogger behind Hello Brownlow, a website dedicated to sharing how their family has been able to save money and live a more frugal, minimalist lifestyle – all by being content with less.

Inspiring Simplicity. Weekend Reads.

Fill your life with stories to tell, not stuff to show.

The simplicity/minimalism movement is a beautiful community. And I enjoy any opportunity to promote writing that encourages people to live more by owning less.

I invite you to fix yourself a nice warm cup of coffee or tea. Find a quiet moment this weekend. And enjoy some encouraging words to inspire more simplicity in your life today.

The 7 Practical Minimalist Lifestyle Tips that Taught me How to Live Simply | Undoubted Grace by Ashley. “Minimalist techniques by themselves, without the hard work of changing our hearts, became an idol.“

Why Choose Minimalism? 5 Things To Consider | The Good Men Project by Dianne M. Daniels. “Minimalism isn’t about throwing stuff away — it’s about your mindset, your values, and yes, your life.”

How to Tackle a Mountain of Tasks | Zen Habits by Leo Babauta. “What I’ve learned is that once you get started, and start having fun with it, you’ll see some progress, and then there’s a snowball effect where you keep getting encouraged by your progress.“

Harnessing the Power of Regret | No Sidebar by Emily McDermott. “Pink’s findings of how the desire to live with ‘no regrets’ is harmful, and potentially even dangerous, gives us a wealth of knowledge about how the power of regret can be harnessed to allow us to live a more intentional, purpose-filled life.”

7 Quotes That Forever Changed My View of Money | Joshua Becker on YouTube. There is more to money than simple 1’s and 0’s. There is also the effect it has on our lives and psyche—both positively and negative. How we think about money matters. With that in mind, I thought it would be helpful to share the seven quotes about money that changed my view of it.

Here’s What It’s Like to Own Just 134 Items in the World

Note: This is a guest post by Charlie Brown of Simple and Straightforward.

The average American household owns 300,000 possessions. 

I own 0.05% of that number. In other words, 134 items. 

It was never my intention to live with so little. But back in 2020 my husband and I had the opportunity to sell our wine business, house and most of what we own in order to travel the world indefinitely, working online as we go. 

All I had room for was what would fit in my suitcase, plus a box or two to be stored in my family home. 

People will tell you it’s unrealistic to live with so little, that it’s deprivation under the guise of “minimalism”. 

After nearly two years of this lifestyle, I can say with absolute conviction that it’s neither of those things. In fact, more and more people are choosing to live like this, and finding freedom like they’ve never experienced before. 

Here’s what it’s really like to live with fewer than 150 possessions. 

You miss less than you expect 

It’s the number one question I get asked – don’t you miss all your stuff? 

I went into this new traveling phase of my life with very little expectation as to whether I would miss anything or not. I figured that if I did, I could always stop traveling and settle again. (Hey, it’s always an option). 

As it turns out, I miss very little indeed. The only two I can think of are the guarantee of a good mattress and bedding, (not a given when you live out of short term accommodation,) and a choice few pieces of cooking equipment. 

But even these I miss less than I thought I would. I used to sleep terribly at home – despite an exceptionally comfortable bed – because I was stressed and burnt out. When I started to travel, I worked hard to eliminate many of the big stresses in my life and to recover from the burnout. The result is I’m sleeping much better, despite the occasional bad bed. 

And the kitchen equipment? As a self-confessed foodie, I’ve made it my mission to become super flexible with my cooking, getting creative with what my short term accommodation provides me. It’s been a real education, one that I might not have had if I had the opportunity to keep my prefered kitchen setup. 

We’re taught that possessions are of the utmost importance in life, that they should be prioritized above everything else, including travel, sustainable living and even our mental health.

It’s only once you shed the excess that you realize how we’ve been duped. Because like me, you’ll probably find you miss many, many fewer items than you expect. 

It’s not about the number of items 

The question isn’t how many possessions should you live with, rather how does what you live with make you feel? 

Life is about balance. Deprivation has no place at the minimalist table and is just as unwelcome as too much clutter. And in order to find that balance, you need to discover how many possessions is the optimum for you and you only. 

In my case, I wasn’t trying to live with an arbitrary number. It was simply about what would fit into my desired lifestyle. Or indeed, my suitcase. 

My number happened to be 134. Yours might be much more and that’s cool. 

Minimalism is all about living with intentionality which can be found in thousands of items just as much as 100. 

You can always rent what you don’t own 

You don’t have to own everything in order to make use of it. In fact, almost everything in life is available to rent, from accommodation filled with kitchen equipment, bedding and furniture, to cars to bicycles to, well, pretty much anything. 

Unless you’re happy sleeping on the floor and eating out everyday, the only way one can live with so few possessions is to make full use of this sharing economy. 

I really enjoy renting what I need. It gives me full flexibility and is often a cheaper and more sustainable way of living. 

And you don’t have to be a permanent traveler in order to make use of the sharing economy. In fact, if you’ve ever taken an Uber, ordered from Just Eat, even looked something up on Wikipedia, then you have already utilized it. 

Renting is underrated. Sometimes it’s the best option in life. 

This isn’t an unrealistic lifestyle 

After “what do you miss?” the next question I get asked is “when are you coming home and settling down again?” 

Traveling with just over 100 items is not thought of as a realistic, sustainable lifestyle. Most people assume it’s just a phase, one you’ll grow out of. 

But the longer I spend on the road, the more people I see making this lifestyle work long term.

In many countries, renting a fully furnished apartment, complete with bedding, furniture and a fully equipped kitchen, is pretty standard. I even have friends in their 50s – with a couple of kids in tow – who have rented like this for years, sometimes staying still, sometimes traveling. 

Predictions say there will be up to a billion nomads in the world by 2035. That’s 13% of the world who will be, by design, living with fewer possessions. 

There will likely come a time where I will own more possessions than I currently do. 

But now I know how little I can happily live with, I will probably never own much more. And just because I might live with more stuff in the future doesn’t make what I live with now “unrealistic.” This has been my life for the last 20 months, and is going to continue to be so. 

Minimalism isn’t an unfeasible lifestyle. It’s gaining popularity across the world as more and more people realize they’re overburdening themselves – and the world – with excess stuff. That’s not unrealistic – it’s just different. 

So, do you want to know what the 134 items are? 

Here’s my latest inventory: 

Clothes and accessories – 61 items Electronics – 7 items Kitchen equipment – 12 items Toiletries – 16 items Books and stationery – 12 items Home furnishings (kept at my parent’s house as I travel) – 26 items 

I won’t go as far as the old cliché: the best things in life are free, but I will say that not everything good in the world has to be a physical possession. Far from it. 

People. Sleep. Tranquility. Nature. Free time. 

All good things. The best, in fact. 

Possessions are essential, but as every minimalist in the world will tell you, garnering too many of them can stop us from finding meaning and purpose. Thinking that possessions will make us content and whole is like trying to find the happiness crab under the wrong rock. 

For now, I’ll stick with my 134 possessions. They give me what I want – nay, need – in life right now. Freedom. The opportunity to travel, make connections and engage in experiences. 

Life. 

I’ll take that over the occasional inconvenience of running out of socks, any day of the week.

***

Charlie Brown is a British writer and full-time traveler. She is founder of Simple and Straightforward, a weekly mail-out focusing on simple living, minimalism, and living life on your own terms.

How Saying No More Often Can Help You Live an Intentional and Meaningful Life

Note: This is a guest post by Emma Scheib of Simple Slow & Lovely.

The pursuit of a minimalist or more intentional lifestyle involves more than just decluttering items in our homes. For me, living this way has required a switch from saying yes most of the time to saying no. 

This change, although not always easy, has meant that my life is simpler and has more of the things that are important to me in it. 

I grew up in a chaotic and somewhat unstable environment. This meant that people-pleasing was one of the simplest ways I could guarantee acceptance and safety. 

This usually manifested in me saying yes to almost anything that was asked of me. Particularly as a young adult whom everyone assumed had boundless energy and capacity to serve.

When faced with burnout in my mid-twenties, I discovered that the people-pleasing and saying yes that I thought was helpful, was actually doing more harm than good.

I had stretched myself too thin and had almost no concept of what it was like to take good care of myself. 

I just kept saying yes. Yes to a master’s degree even though I was pregnant. Yes to a full-time job while finishing the degree and raising a tiny human. And yes to a half ironman on top of all of that.

Saying no to avoid burnout

In my early 30s, I was exhausted by constantly recovering from burnout. But I never dealt with the root problem. An inability to say no.

One day, a therapist asked me a relatively simple question. “Do you think you are doing too much?”

I’d heard this many times before. From my therapist, from friends and family and even from myself. But for some reason that day I finally had the courage to answer honestly.

Yes, I was doing too much. I needed to learn how to say no.

A trick my therapist taught me that day was to try and make no my default, instead of yes. It’s usually easier to retract a no than it is a yes. 

Here are five things I generally default to saying no to now:

1. Social activities 

I used to be tempted to fit in multiple coffee dates on my out-of-office day. But more often than not I’d feel stressed and exhausted by the end of the day. 

I’ve learned to keep a lean social calendar. My time is precious and if I am constantly giving it away to others I’m not left with much for my family and myself.

Not only does a pared-back calendar help me from getting overwhelmed, it also supports my introverted nature. If I have lots of social interaction in one day I also need lots of alone time to recover!

So these days, when someone asks me out for a coffee it’s quite often a no. And at the very most I’ll check my calendar and get back to them. 

2. Free stuff

Our home is usually much cleaner and easily tidied after having decluttered substantially over the last seven years. Clutter tends to creep back in though, especially when I accept freebies.

I’ve done many a trip to goodwill with the boot full of items that were never mine to begin with. 

It’s socially acceptable to say yes to freebies. We feel impolite and ungrateful if we refuse. And when I was a poor university student, free things were helpful. But now that my income is more stable, I’m usually just doing them the favour of donating their goods that I don’t need or end up using.

Defaulting to ‘no thank you’ for free things saves my home from clutter, and saves me time passing them on.

3. Keeping up with social media or the news

I still use a few different social media platforms but I no longer strive to ‘keep up to date’. Firstly, with the introduction of endless scroll a little over a decade ago, it’s impossible to keep up to date. There’s always more at the end of the page. 

And secondly, if I am saying yes to keeping up with everything and everyone online I have very little time left for the people that really matter, in my real life. The more time I spend scrolling online the busier I feel. (If you don’t believe me, try a day offline and see how relaxed and at ease you feel). 

Similarly, while infinite scroll doesn’t exist on my local news website, there’s never a lack of news stories on my phone or laptop. In the early days of the pandemic, I quickly realized that having 24-hour access to news wasn’t helpful, and was actually just anxiety-inducing.

Saying no to mindless consumption of anything online isn’t easy but it’s well worth it. 

4. Poorly defined projects or opportunities

I could quite easily find myself slipping into a workaholic mode if I don’t say no to things that aren’t clearly defined. 

I enjoy the work that I do, and over the years have been presented with many shiny objects. In late 2019 I said yes to a lovely shiny project which involved the kind of work that I value and enjoy. However, it wasn’t well thought out and the short story is that I spend many hours on it with no return. 

Although this failure was partly due to the pandemic, it was undeniable that the lack of clarity and constant scope creep contributed to its downfall. 

I now happily default to no when presented with shiny, new opportunities. 

5. Anything that takes me away from myself or my family

My top two values in life are authenticity and family. If I am saying yes to anything that takes me away from these two values then I suffer.

So I say no to things that aren’t ‘me’. Public speaking of any form, large crowds, long road trips, spiders, pants without elastic waistbands, dance classes, romantic comedies and long hours volunteering out of my house. 

The cliche is true – we only have one life. It’s taken me some time to realize that I would rather live my life saying no to some things, and yes to myself and my family.

If you have been like me, people-pleasing, defaulting to yes, it might be time to rethink. It might be time to learn how to default to saying no.

Learning to say no more often could be the difference between living a busy, cluttered life, to living the life you really want.  

***

Emma Scheib is the writer behind Simple Slow & Lovely, a resource to teach and inspire an intentional, calm, and peaceful life. You can also find her on Instagram and Facebook.

Inspiring Simplicity. Weekend Reads.

For the last eight years, I have been compiling and publishing curated articles that inspire simplicity. At first, it was an exercise in communicating to Becoming Minimalist readers the most popular articles I sent out on Twitter.

But over the years, it has become more than that. It has become a place where people (every other week) come for a dose of inspiration. And it has become a place to promote and encourage writers around the world who are publishing content about minimalism, simplicity, and intentional living.

I think you will enjoy this collection of articles hand-selected for you this weekend. Grab some coffee, tea, or lemonade and be inspired to live a simpler life today.

We need to kick our success addiction | Big Think by Arthur C. Brooks. Success can be measured in different ways. When it hinges entirely on our careers, we fall victim to a devastating addiction.

How to be a minimalist and live with less | Homes to Love by Emma Markezic. “After 21 days, everything that was still in boxes he sold or donated – more than 80% of his possessions – and he had never felt better.”

Where You Get Your Sense of Self-Worth | Zen Habits by Leo Babauta. “Think about your biggest difficulties (other than problems at a national or global level) … how many of them could be resolved if you had an unshakable confidence in your self-worth?”

Why You Should Declutter Your Room Before Leaving for College | The Simplicity Habit by Rose Morrison. Giving your bedroom a thorough decluttering before relocating to college is one way to help with that stress and solidify the transition.

Minimizing Career Stress | No Sidebar by Cheryl Smith. In only a few steps, we can not only assess the wisdom of our career choice, but we can make necessary adjustments to minimize the stress of continuing in the wrong one.

7 Lies That Lead to a Cluttered Home | Becoming Minimalist on YouTube. Nobody, when asked what they most want to accomplish in life, responds by saying, “I just want to own as much clutter as possible.” Owning more stuff than we need isn’t something people purposefully set out to do. But somehow, it happens—despite being a great source of stress in our lives.

Never Above Love

Someone recently sent me an inspiring story.

This past Spring, an Elementary School Principal in Southwest Houston stepped in to solve a problem in a way that many people would refuse to do.

First-year Principal Kimberly Kiser was left with a dilemma when three of the four school custodians called in sick on the same day.

In order to keep the school safe and clean for the 500+ students, she sprang into action in a most unusual way.

Kimberly took on the role of custodian and began to physically clean the school herself. She put on rubber gloves, grabbed a custodian cart, and got to work wiping down desks, cleaning bathrooms, and mopping floors—anything she could do to keep the school clean and healthy for the students that day.

This is how she described her decision, “We are a family. We believe there is no such thing as position or title. We believe in stepping in and helping when there is a need.” Indeed she does.

—

I found her story to be inspiring for several reasons:

First, it is a story of humility.

It is often easy to achieve a certain level of success in this world and begin to look down on certain tasks and responsibilities—to think we are above them.

But Kimberly did not fall into that trap of arrogance or pride. Despite being the principal, she was still willing to complete any task needed to keep the school up and running.

Second, it is a story of service.

The school had a need and everyone—the kids, the teachers, the fellow custodians—needed it completed. No doubt Kimberly didn’t wake up that morning thinking she would be mopping floors; but when she saw a need, she stepped in to help and serve.

She didn’t just talk about serving others, she actually did it.

Third, and most inspiring, it is a story of love for others.

I’ve never met Kimberly Kiser and didn’t interview her before writing this article. But I can guess what motivated her to do what she did that day: She loves those kids, the teachers, and her school.

She knows the importance of a functioning school day not just for the kids, but for the parents and community. And she knows that a clean school is foundational for learning and health.

She loves the people around her and felt compelled to serve them in the way they needed to be served. And seeing love in action is always inspiring.

—

It is easy, I suppose, to think the pursuit of our grandest goals is the greatest thing we can do with our lives. To pursue those dreams that will result in the greatest gain of worldly recognition.

But sometimes, dare I even say oftentimes, the greatest good we can bring into the world is to serve those who are closest to us with all our heart.

Thank you Kimberly for the example. And may we all live lives that inspire others to love and serve.

10 Steps You Can Take To Keep Advertisers From Dictating Your Life

“Civilization is a limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.” —Mark Twain

The task of living an intentional life focused on things that matter is enormously complicated these days by constant, modern propaganda.

Commercials, advertisements, and marketers work tirelessly to convince us that products manufactured on assembly lines will make us happier.

But in reality, these unnecessary purchases separate us from our dollars and add stress, burden, and obligation to our lives—they don’t bring happiness, they keep us from it!

The goal of Madison Avenue is to distract our desire. Their messaging changes our attitude from “That’s extravagant” to “That would be nice” to “I want that” to “I need it.”

And they are so subtle at their craft we hardly even realize we are being brainwashed. Subconsciously, they take control of our desires, our checkbooks, and ultimately, our lives.

To stop letting advertisers dictate our lives, we must make firm moves to counter their assault. Here are ten steps you can take today:

1. Realize (and decide for yourself) that happiness is not an item to be purchased, it is a decision to be enjoyed. 

Beware of destination addiction—the belief that happiness will be realized in your next purchase. The dopamine rush from a new purchase is immediately fleeting. Happiness is a decision available to all of us… it is not for sale on Amazon.

2. Identify what advertisements are trying to sell you. 

The emphasis in advertising has moved away from fact-based proclamations to creating associations in the mind of the viewer.

Advertisers appeal to our subconscious desires (status, sex, prestige, happiness, appearance, self-esteem, identity, or reputation) and fears (loneliness, security, weaknesses, uncertainty). Be aware of their strategy so you will not be fooled by it.

3. Buy things for their usefulness, not their status. 

Purchase items for their ability to meet your needs, not their ability to impress your neighbor. 

Apply this principle everywhere—your house, your car and your clothes are all great places to start. You don’t have to live like everyone else. In fact, you’ll probably be happier if you don’t.

4. Limit marketing messaging. 

Unsubscribe from email lists. Cancel junk-mail. Mute your radio/tv during advertisements or better yet, stop watching television altogether.

Enjoy outdoor recreation (biking, exercising, hiking, gardening, camping) or occupy your mind with reading, art, conversation, philosophy, or meditation instead.

5. Recognize your trigger points. 

Are there certain stores that prompt unnecessary purchases in your life? Products, addictions, or pricing patterns (clearance sales) that prompt an automatic response from you? (I used to be almost magnetically drawn to Clearance racks).

Maybe there are specific emotions (sadness, loneliness, grief, stress) that give rise to excess consumption. Identify, recognize, and understand these weaknesses. This is one of the most important steps in taking back control of your actions.

6. Count the hidden cost of purchases. 

The price of purchasing any item is not limited to the sticker price. Our purchases always cost more.

They require our time, energy, and focus (cleaning, organizing, maintaining, fixing, replacing, removing). They prompt worry, stress, and attachment. Each purchase takes up physical space in our homes and mental space in our mind.

Henry David Thoreau said it best, “The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.“ Look beyond the price tag.

7. Practice gratitude and generosity. 

Gratitude turns what we have into enough. When we stop focusing on the things we don’t have, we are better able to appreciate the things we already do. This mindset shifts our passions away from the promises of advertisers and on to the blessings we already enjoy.

Equally important, generosity reminds us that we already have enough and brings greater fulfillment and satisfaction into our lives.

8. Embrace the sharing economy. 

The Internet has brought many new opportunities to us. One of the most important is the emergence of the sharing economy.

Whether people are sharing homes, vehicles, tools, toys, or clothes, there is less need today for ownership than ever before. Ownership is being replaced by relationship—and that’s always a good trade-off.

9. Enforce a 30-day wait period on major purchases. 

Avoid regrettable judgments by implementing a month-long waiting period on items over $100 (or pick a dollar amount more applicable). This cooling period will provide opportunity and space to better answer these questions: “Do I really need this?” “Will it make me happier in the long run?” “Are there any subconscious motives to this purchase?” “Can I find it cheaper elsewhere?” and “What could I do with the money instead?“

10. Do more of what makes you happy. 

Your possessions are not making you happy. Once our basic needs have been met, the happiness found in consumerism is not noticeable.

Instead, find what it is that truly makes you happy and do more of it. I find my happiness in faith, family, friends, and contribution. Your list may differ from mine. But either way, owning a whole bunch of stuff is almost certainly not on it.

The only release from the influence of marketers and a consumerist society is to exit—to decide that enough is enough and the relentless pursuit of possessions will never lead to an intentional life. The first step is to be intentional in overcoming it.