Joshua Becker's Blog, page 27

Small Steps Lead to Big Changes. Celebrate Them.

“Sometimes it’s the smallest decisions that can change your life forever.” – Keri Russell

Every significant, major change that we make in our lives is the result of a long series of small changes.

Consider these examples of how small steps lead to lifelong changes:

Quitting smoking starts by not lighting up that next cigarette.Losing weight begins by turning down one more spoonful.Decluttering your home starts by removing one unnecessary item from your home.Getting out of debt starts by purchasing one less thing.Starting a business begins with one idea.Saving your marriage starts with the realization that it was worth saving.

Studies show that one of the ways to fuel the big changes we want in our lives is to notice and celebrate the small victories we’re making along the way.

Our lives are not measured by the leaps and bounds as much as they are measured by the little steps and decisions that we make each day. We don’t always get to control the outcome, but we can make small changes to control our actions.

Of course, in this world of filtered influencers, fast food, instant downloads, get-rich-quick schemes, and never-ending media hype, those standing at the finish line often receive the praise, while those still on their journey are often overlooked.

As a result, those still on the journey believe they are failing because they don’t stand at the finish line yet. Our society doesn’t do a good job of lifting up those en route.

We must learn to adjust our thinking. Not just as a society, but firstly and most importantly, as individuals.

It is entirely appropriate to praise those who have successfully completed positive life change, of course. But we must also celebrate those still on their journey!

Every step forward is worthy of celebration. And when we see it in our own lives (or in the lives of others), we must call it what it is—a victory worthy of celebration!

The father who comes home and picks up his child rather than the remote control deserves celebration.

The alcoholic who chooses to attend one more AA meeting deserves celebration.

The husband drowning in debt who packs a lunch for work deserves celebration.

The consumer-driven wife who chooses to not buy that extra pair of shoes deserves celebration.

The swindler who earns his first honest dollar deserves celebration.

The man struggling with his weight that chooses to take the stairs deserves our celebration.

The anorexic who eats a full meal deserves our celebration.

The wealthy man who writes his first check to charity (no matter the amount) deserves our celebration.

The couple on brink of divorce that unselfishly sits down at the kitchen table to finally talk it over deserves celebration.

We all need grace. We all need patience. And we are a people in need of encouragement.

So let’s be quick to celebrate the little steps we are making.

Life is fully-lived in both big moments and small.

A “Do it Before You Sit Down” Approach to Getting Stuff Done

I try my best to give credit where credit is due on this blog—citing the original voices of quotes and thoughts and helpful ideas. But for the life of me, I cannot remember where I first received this advice.

It has, however, proven to be revolutionary.

I once heard somebody say, “If you have something to do at home after work, do it right away when you get home, before you sit down.”

In the original context, the person was talking about completing a small task such as changing a light bulb, taking out the trash, watering the plants, or doing the dishes.

As soon as I heard the idea, I adopted this approach to getting things done at home and have loved it ever since.

I have found the advice to be incredibly helpful and I think you will too.

Often times when we get home from work, we’re tired. We just want to put our feet up, turn on the television, and take a break. Maybe you’re different than me and can somehow pop up motivated and energized an hour later ready to tackle any project that needs to be completed around the home.

But I have found the opposite to be the case. Most often, once I sit down in a comfy chair, I lose all the day’s momentum and motivation. Finding the energy to accomplish anything around the house becomes increasingly difficult. I might begrudgingly do it later in the evening just before going to bed—but only if I have to.

Adopting a “do it before you even sit down” mentality, on the other hand, captures my remaining energy from the workday, keeps me from procrastinating, and provides me with actual physical and mental rest throughout the remainder of the night—because the project isn’t hanging over my head all night long.

Here are some of the places this productivity approach works well:

Cooking dinnerRunning an errand for the kids/familyWatering plants, walking the dogs, or taking out the trashHelping kids with their homeworkA volunteer project you offered to completeA weekly cleaning projectStarting the laundryMowing the lawn

Of course, this approach may not be a good fit for hours-long projects like repainting the living room, tearing down a load-bearing wall, or decluttering your entire attic. Those types of projects probably require a bit more forethought and planning.

But for me, I have seen the “do it before you even sit down” mentality prove effective over and over again when it comes to completing small projects in the evening. You probably will too.

Our Desires are Being Manipulated

I often ask myself an important question, “Why aren’t more people attracted to a minimalist life?” Given all the benefits of owning just what we need, why would anyone choose to own a whole bunch of stuff they don’t need?

I don’t ask the question with an air of superiority, pride, or morality. For me, it’s a personal question I continue to wrestle with.

I didn’t discover minimalism until my mid-thirties. While living on a lower middle-class income, I had still managed to acquire rooms full of stuff that wasn’t needed. This became abundantly clear when my neighbor introduced me to minimalism and my family of four began to minimize the possessions in our home.

Our first van-load of stuff to Goodwill felt amazing. The second van-load of clutter to the Salvation Army felt wonderful. So did the third.

But while dropping off a fourth van-load of things I didn’t need at our local donation center, I started to ask myself some serious questions, starting with, “Why in the world did I have four van-loads of things in my house that I didn’t need? Why did I buy all this?”

Why do we buy stuff we don’t need in the first place?

The more I dove into my heart and soul searching for an answer to this question, the less I enjoyed what I found… Selfishness, greed, jealousy, desire to impress, fear (just to name a few) became apparent to me as unhealthy motivations that compelled me to acquire and consume.

Innate human desires, I realize now, each of us must work to recognize and overcome. They are more prevalent in our lives than we realize (or like to admit).

But we are not entirely to blame. The external world conspires against us.

In one of the most well-known descriptions of modern society’s fixation on consumption, Paul Mazur of Lehman Brothers, back in 1927, wrote in the Harvard Business Review, “We must shift America from a needs, to a desires culture. People must be trained to desire, to want new things even before the old had been entirely consumed. We must shape a new mentality in America. Man’s desires must overshadow his needs.”

And thus began a new era in advertising—one that would seek to manipulate the masses not by providing goods required for life or happiness, but by manipulating their desires.

Everything from cars and clothes to cigarettes and appliances became status symbols. And 100 years later, the manipulation continues.

During last night’s Superbowl, as just one example, we were told a fashion app could make us feel rich, a software company could turn us into a rockstar, a vehicle purchase could save the environment, and a can of potato chips could connect us with others.

In each and every case, we are being “trained to desire more than we need” because it makes them money.

My grandfather was born in 1921 and passed away in December 2020 at the age of 99. He was six years old when business leaders began intentionally shifting their strategy.

But I’m 48, born in 1974—which means I’ve lived my entire life under this manipulation! And likely, you have as well.

We’ve never known anything different than a world where business leaders, Wall Street tycoons, politicians, (and now tech giants) control the airwaves and the culture we live in.

We’ve come to expect that this way of life is normal and how life is supposed to be lived.

This is just what life is… desiring and buying more than we need… right?

Like a fish who doesn’t notice the water surrounding them, we don’t even notice the level of corporate manipulation and its impact around us. It’s cooked into the soup we’re all swimming in.

But make no mistake. We are being deceived. We are being sold promises that retailers and manufacturers can never deliver on. Their external manipulation appeals to our internal insecurity and compels us to pursue, purchase, and accumulate more than we need.

So how do we overcome this manipulation?

I wish this was an easy answer, but I have found that not to be the case.

Overcoming manipulation takes constant vigilance. But here are some important steps we can take to accomplish that:

1. Recognize there are selfish motivations around us.

Not every company and not every advertisement is out for our good. Some are just there for profit.

2. Work to see the manipulation.

The emphasis in advertising has moved away from fact-based proclamations to creating associations in the mind of the viewer.

Most advertisements appeal to our subconscious desires (status, sex, prestige, happiness, appearance, self-esteem, identity, or reputation) and fears (loneliness, security, weaknesses, uncertainty). Be aware of their strategy so you will not be fooled by it.

3. Remember that happiness cannot be purchased.

Beware of destination addiction—the belief that happiness will be realized in your next purchase. The dopamine rush from a new purchase is immediately fleeting. Happiness is a decision available to all of us… it is not for sale on Amazon.

4. Respect the finite nature of our lives.

All of life is finite—our time, our money, our energy. Because of this, learning where to place our attention and affection is incredibly important.

5. Buy things for their usefulness, not their status.

Purchase items for their ability to meet your needs, not their ability to impress your neighbor.

Apply this principle everywhere—your house, your car and your clothes are all great places to start. You don’t have to live like everyone else. In fact, you’ll probably be happier if you don’t.

6. Remind ourselves there are greater pursuits in life.

There are always greater things we can do with our money than buy stuff we don’t need. We can help others, solve problems, and make a difference in the world. Our money is only as valuable as what we choose to spend it on. Spend it wisely.

7. Ground our minds.

For me, this is one of the reasons meditation and devotion are so important in my life. Being intentional about the purpose of life helps overcome the manipulation of the world around us. Maybe that is one of the reasons it is so popular in both faith-based worldviews and nonfaith-based worldviews.

The only exit from the influence of marketers and a consumerist society is to actually exit—to decide that enough is enough and the relentless pursuit of possessions will never lead to an intentional life. The first step is to be intentional in overcoming it.

Inspiring Simplicity. Weekend Reads.

Fill your life with stories to tell, not stuff to show.

The simplicity/minimalism movement is a beautiful community. And I enjoy any opportunity to promote writing that encourages people to live more by owning less.

I invite you to fix yourself a nice warm cup of coffee or tea. Find a quiet moment this weekend. And enjoy some encouraging words to inspire more simplicity in your life today.

Is Minimalism Still Relevant in 2023? | No Sidebar by Charlie Brown. Minimalism isn’t dead and it’s not irrelevant. In fact, it’s a way out of the mess we find ourselves in right now, with our busy schedules, hard-to-please bosses, debt, and keeping up with the Jones (both in real life and online).

Everything You Can’t Have | Collab Fund by Morgan Housel. Nothing is as desired as much as the thing you want but can’t have.

Mastering the Art of Letting Go | Zen Habits by Leo Babauta. Letting go can seem quite simple, but it isn’t necessarily easy. We have attachments that we cling to quite tightly, and letting go of them is often something we don’t want to do.

11 Helpful Tips for Minimalists Who Live With Non-Minimalists | The Simplicity Habit by Cora Gold. Overconsumption and materialism are common in today’s world, so it can be difficult to try to convince people to embark on a new way of life. If you’re a minimalist living with someone who is not, chances are you’ve had a few squabbles over how much needs to be in your home.

10 Reasons a Simple Life is a Happy Life & How to Get Started | The Plain Simple Life by Voureen. In today’s fast-paced world, simplicity can often slip through our fingers as we try to keep up with the latest trends and technologies.

Recently Released Inspiring Videos

The Burdens We Already Carry | YouTube by Joshua Becker. Life is hard. Why would we ever choose to make it more difficult?

Accomplish More with a 3-Item To Do List | YouTube by Joshua Becker. In order to accomplish our most important tasks, it is essential to remain focused on them. The 3-Item To Do List accomplishes that.

21 Life-Changing Minimalist Experiments to Try in Your Home

Maya Angelou changed my life with one simple sentence, “We need much less than we think we need.”

As soon as I heard it, in my heart, I knew she was right. I need less than I have, and I need less than I think.

But how could I go about learning this truth? How could I learn how little I actually need?

In October 2010, I tried my first “Minimalist Experiment.” A Minimalist Experiment is any intentional decision we make to challenge our assumptions about how much we need to live.

Society is constantly calling us to expand and upgrade every area of life: our home, our car, our kitchen, our wardrobe, our technology….

A Living with Less experiment provides us the opportunity to see if there is a more intentional, more focused, better way to live.

To conduct a Minimalist Experiment:Choose an assumption in your life to test (How many articles of clothing do I need?)Choose a new amount less than you have (I’ll try 50% less clothes in my closet)Choose a period of time (I’m going to test this for two months)Remove the excess from your field of vision (I’ll put my extra clothes in the attic)After the experiment, reevaluate what you learned (That was amazing! I love owning less. I’m going to send Joshua an email about how brilliant he is.)

For each of these experiments below, I encourage at least a 29-day test in your home. But the longer you go without (60-day, 90-day, etc.), the more you will learn about yourself and how much less we actually need.

Here are 24 Minimalist Experiments to Try1. Project 333

This was the minimalist fashion experiment that changed forever the number of clothes that hang in my closet. And it’s the one experiment I think everybody should try.

Click here to find out more about Project 333.

2. Keep One Television

When my kids were 6 and 3, we decided to test out having just one television in our home (rather than the existing four) and try it out for the 3 months of summer. We loved it! And to this day (14 years later), there is still just one television set-up in our home.

3. Halve Your Decorations

It’s important to remember, before we go much further, than these are simply experiments. You don’t need to burn your extra clothes in the backyard or throw your extra televisions off the roof. Just move them somewhere else for a period of time. After the experiment, you can bring everything back if you hated it.

For two months, try fewer decorations in your home. You can cut them in half, or one-third, whatever you choose, Choose the least meaningful decor in any room, remove them, and try out keeping only your favorites. See what you think.

Maybe you’ll discover Francis Jourdain was right when he said, “One can furnish a room very luxuriously by taking out furniture rather than putting it in.”

4.  Try a No-Buy Challenge

For just one month, buy nothing but groceries and toiletries. See if you find the experiment more difficult than you thought or easier than you thought—there are lessons to be learned either way.

Take note how much your bank account can change in just one month.

5. One Coffee Mug

Pick your favorite mug. Decide to use only that mug for the entire month. Store the rest somewhere else. Maybe you need fewer coffee mugs in your cabinet than you think.

6. Less Furniture

Choose one room in your home and temporarily remove 1-2 pieces of furniture. Move the items out of your way as best you can (if possible).

As you do, how does it make you feel to have the extra space in that room? Furniture often takes up more space than we think

7. Limit Make-up Options

For one month, experiment with less make-up. This could mean wearing less make-up on your skin… or just limiting the make-up options in your drawer. Choose the colors you love best, and see if there’s any benefit to your morning routine and/or how you feel all day long.

8. Watch Less Television

Many of us got into bad habits during COVID and shaking them can be difficult. To help realign my life around greater priorities, I am currently testing out 30-days of no television. That is the living with less experiment I’m trying right now.

This type of experiment could also apply to social media or video games or talk radio or any number of activities we suspect are taking up too much of our time.

9. Clear off your kitchen counters

Try clearing everything off your kitchen counter for 29 days. You’ll love it.

10. Remove half of your books from a space

Books can be a beautifully decorative item. They can also encourage reading and learning. But too many, in too small a space, can also be visually distracting—especially in open shelves and bookcases.

Test your assumptions on how many books is the right amount by removing half (or a third) of them for a period of time.

11. Leave a corner empty

Years ago, I helped a woman declutter her living room. At the end, one of the corners was empty. She said, “Are we just going to leave that corner empty? I don’t think I can do that.”

I replied, “Maybe not. But if you rush out to buy something just to fill the space, you’ll never know for sure. How about we give it one month? If you still hate it empty, go purchase something to fill the space. But maybe you’ll start to like it more than you think.”

Last I heard, a new decoration still doesn’t fill the space. There is beauty in empty spaces.

12. Limit Tupperware to 8 containers

Find 8 food storage containers with easily identifiable lids. (Bonus points if the containers nest inside each other.)

Put the rest of your food storage containers in a box, write the date on the top of the box, and take it away from your kitchen. Commit to this new experiment for at least three months.

You’ll never go back to a cluttered Tupperware drawer or cabinet again. Well, maybe you will, but I doubt it.

13. One place setting per person

Personally, we keep two settings per person—which comes in handy when we entertain.

But there are lots of people who do keep just one and love it. Maybe it’s an experiment worth testing out in your home. You’ll never know if you try,

14. Hand-washing dishes

We first started hand-washing dishes in November 2020 as a two week experiment. I immediately loved the intentional closing of a meal in this way.

Still, 13 years later, we hand wash after almost every meal only running our dishwasher occasionally as recommended by the manufacturer.

15. Rotate out some toys

Owning fewer toys benefits our kids in numerous ways. They learn how to be more creative, helpful, careful, and sharing.

Although you may want to consult your children before you decide to relocate their unused toys, there’s a pretty good chance that after only a few weeks of rotating out some old, unused toys, they will be forgotten entirely.

16. Kitchen gadgets

There never seems to be enough storage space in our kitchens. Yet most of our grandmothers cooked far more often, far more elaborately, and far better than many of us today… in much smaller kitchens. The truth is that when it comes to cooking, simple is almost always better. 

Check out this brilliant article from The New York Times: A No Frills Kitchen Still Cooks. Then, store all your unnecessary utensils in a plastic bin, put them away out of sight, and see if you just enjoy cooking a little bit more in your new, clutter-free environment.

17. A Simplified Meal Plan

I started eating the same breakfast and lunch several years ago. Although, my hope at the time was to make the habit change for a long while, I knew I could stop anytime and go back to my old variety.

But nope. I learned to love eating the same breakfast and lunch every day. Maybe you will too.

18. Unsubscribe from Email Lists

Try unsubscribing from every email newsletter that you receive in the next month. You can always subscribe back if you want. But maybe you’ll find the calmer, more peaceful inbox more enjoyable than the sales offers constantly arriving.

19. Spend one day a week unplugging from work and other responsibilities

Rest can quickly become a neglected priority in our busy lives. For the next month, choose one day each week for intentional rest—no work allowed.

20. Try Hotel-living in your bedroom

There is a growing movement to style home bedrooms like hotel bedrooms.

Interestingly, I’ve met a number of people who decided to become minimalist after going on a trip. As they left their typical surroundings and spent some time in a calm, peaceful, decluttered hotel room with nothing but a suitcase full of clothes, they became drawn to the lifestyle of owning less.

Of course you don’t need to leave your home to test out that same feeling of calm and order. Most of the articles online seem to focus on buying expensive linens or wall hangings to turn your bedroom into a hotel room. And that type of stuff can be fun, but it can also become distracting.

My recommendation, if you want to experiment with hotel living in your own bedroom, begin by simply removing everything from your room you wouldn’t normally find in a hotel room. You’ll be surprised how big of a change that makes alone.

21. Spend a week only using public transportation or walking instead of driving a car

If your city’s amenities allow, try one week without driving your car at all. Maybe you hate it and rush back to grab the keys on the 8th day. Maybe you find your area’s public transportation more convenient than you thought. Either way, you’ll discover something new about yourself and something new about your community.

There are any number of experiments you can try in your home: Fewer pillows, fewer coats, fewer magazine subscriptions, fewer hobby supplies… The list goes on and on. Choose one that seems like a good fit for you and your home.

Test your assumptions. There is a beautiful life-giving joy to be found in the realization of how little we actually need. Minimalist experiments can help us discover that.

I’m an American Nomad Traveling the World: Here’s What Other Countries Taught Me About Minimalism

Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from Julie B. Rose of Juliedevivre.

“So Julie—I see you quit your job, but what makes you a minimalist?” 

Sarah, my host in Munich, had seen my nomadic lifestyle blog in which I talk about travel, minimalism, budgeting, and love. Last August, we sat on her balcony eating fresh bread and cheese and drinking beer, staples of the German diet. 

“Well, I don’t own a lot,” I said. “Pretty much everything I own can fit in my car. I sold my house and got rid of 98% of my belongings and furniture two years ago. I don’t care about or collect material things, and I’d rather my money go towards experiences versus possessions.”

She chuckled, and gestured around the simple two bedroom, one bathroom flat she shared with her girlfriend, Lena. 

“I mean, that’s not so unusual. Maybe it is in America, but that’s pretty normal for us.”

Whether she meant “us Germans,” “us frequent travelers,” or “myself and Lena,” I wasn’t positive, but she could’ve easily meant all three. Because if there was one thing I had come to notice spending most of 2022 abroad… it was that NOBODY had as much attachment to their belongings as Americans, while simultaneously having the mindset that everything is disposable. 

Outside of America, “replace” is not the first impulse

I spent the first six months of 2022 in Mexico and one of the things I came to notice about Mexicans was that replacement was a last resort. 

Part of that outlook could be due to the prevalence of poverty in Mexico, but I think it’s also the cultural thinking that everything has a use. Broken, torn, damaged, depleted? Fix it, glue it, sew it, buff it, fill it—Mexicans are handy, and while whatever it is might not be made perfect, it’s usable. 

The U.S. is a country where anything can be ordered up and delivered in mere minutes or hours, and many people don’t typically bat an eye at the premium they pay for convenience, ease, and shiny newness. While Americans are fortunate to have such infrastructure and business ingenuity, there is so much waste.

I remember all the Amazon purchases I so carelessly and thoughtlessly ordered, each one coming on a truck, on its own trip, in its own box… resold for pennies on the dollar at the garage sale I held when I became a nomad in 2020. How everything we buy comes in layers of plastic, which we then put in another plastic bag and walk out the door. (In Mexico and much of Europe, retailers do not offer plastic bags. You bring your own, or buy a reusable tote.)

In the past, if something I enjoyed was broken, torn, slow, outdated, or damaged, I would’ve tossed it in the trash (or in a kitchen drawer to deal with later) and gone about replacing or upgrading it. Now, I glue, sew, fix, resole, DIY, and trade-in, as much as I am able to, and breathe new life into old things. 

I was in Greece over much of September. In Athens, I got a haircut and left my jacket in the salon. Later that day, I flew to the Greek island of Corfu. Upset at my forgetfulness, I told some American friends how I lost the only jacket I had in Europe. 

“Just buy another jacket!” they exclaimed, incredulous that it was even an issue. And indeed, there is always an H&M. But I didn’t want a new jacket—my jacket, purchased five years earlier at Target for $27, was not special in any way, but it worked just fine. In fact, I found a way for my Greek friend Vasilis to retrieve it, who was on another island but would later come to visit me in Croatia. The American reaction? Just buy another; there is no limit to what money can buy. I’ve come to resist that as often as I can. 

The pursuit of bigger, better, and more is an American invention

When I was 22 and I got my first professional job making $33,000 a year in Minneapolis, the first thing I did was go to the Toyota dealership and buy a brand new $22,000 car, debt that essentially matched my take-home pay for the year and saddled me with a 5-year loan. 

So ingrained in our culture is the concept to mark personal success with external indicators, that I had to get a second part-time job and work 55 hours a week just to pay all my bills and eat, with my $750/month rent and my $450/month auto loan payment, plus insurance. 

Advertisers and Hollywood have told this lie to Americans our entire lives: bigger is better, more is better, and better is better—that we willingly trap ourselves in an endless work-spend-collect cycle for our entire lives. 

The college debt to get the good degree, the good job, and the good salary. The auto debt to get the freedom of the open road and to be stylish and safe at the same time. The mortgage debt to have the big house and the garage and the yard and the rooms and closets to hold all the things we’ll soon buy to fill it all up. 

In many other countries, even the wealthy understate their wealth. They work to live, not live to work. When people are less obsessed with making money and collecting material things, they prioritize rest, leisure, time with family, take their vacations, and retire with “enough” instead of working until they’re dead.

Non-Americans are less attached to their living space and their belongings

As I gallivanted across Europe, posting about the sights, sounds, and tastes from Slovenia to Hungary to Turkey to Montenegro, a follower on Instagram commented: “What is your budget for this trip?? You must be spending $300 a day on hotels, taxis, and restaurants!!!”

I wasn’t. In 2022, I spent an average of $74 a day, on everything—that includes lodging, food, health insurance, personal care, and transportation. 

And in the 16 weeks I spent traveling Europe last fall and late summer, I stayed with friends, friends of friends, or complete strangers nearly half of the time. The level of hospitality and welcome I was met with was absolutely unparalleled.

I didn’t know Sarah before I stayed with her. She was a friend of a friend I had stayed with in Salzburg, Austria, and at that friend’s request, Sarah had graciously agreed to host me in Munich. Sarah and Lena were also going out of town a few days later, and she offered that I stay and water their plants while they were gone. 

“We’ve done a lot of traveling,” she noted. “We understand how it is.”

“How it is,” is trying to make each dollar last so a traveler can practice the “experiences over possessions” mantra as long as possible. Summer backpacking trips, gap years, and sabbaticals are a long-time tradition of Europeans in their 20s, 30s, and beyond—so every host has likely been a traveling guest at some point in time. Understanding that accommodations can be one of the most expensive aspects of traveling—I met many Europeans who opened their home to a wayward traveler such as me without a second thought. 

In the 15 months I spent traveling the United States in 2020 and 2021, I was met with far less hospitality. Friends and acquaintances across the states asked to grab dinner and catch up while I was traveling, but far fewer invited me to stay. I thought back on the times some years ago when I rented out my house on Airbnb, and the judgment my American friends shared about strangers sleeping in my bed and cooking in my kitchen.

“Who cares?” I laughed it off. “Same bed, different sheets. And it’s not like I take my cookware with me when I die.” Years later, most of my cookware would be sold or given away.

I can’t pinpoint exactly why fewer Americans were likely to let an acquaintance stay—but it could have to do with the fact that fewer Americans are international travelers (thus not having been on the other side of the coin)—or that we are so accustomed to convenience, that a traveler in our space and among our things is an inconvenience.

Summary

Is this article an indictment of the American way and our popular Western choices? I don’t mean it to be. But we would be blind not to see we are a society that over-consumes: commercialism and materialism, food and alcohol addictions, vanity and appearances, and a host of other deadly sins. I may be a nomad living on $74 a day, with only the things that fit in my SUV… but I have enough—enough belongings to be comfortable, and enough to survive and thrive.

A big house invites more stuff, and if something isn’t “perfect,” it’s easy to just buy another… but we trade hours of life for the things that we buy. Therefore, we can also trade the hours we work and the things we don’t buy for our time back: time with family, time away from the rat race, and time for personal endeavors. 

I hope that as a nation we learn to be more conscious of our purchase decisions, and reduce our tendency to waste and disregard. It’s good for the environment, and it’s good for ourselves.  

And instead of measuring net worth, dollars, square footage, and brand names, how about we count the years… and measure “wealth” in freedom: freedom from debt, freedom from an indulgence of material things, freedom from a time- and mental energy-sucking job, and the freedom to spend our time on this earth doing what we want, with whom we want. 

***

Julie B. Rose is a full-time nomad and minimalist who travels the world with her dog Penny. She shares her experiences at juliedevivre.com, where she aims to inspire and empower positive lifestyle change. You can also find her on Instagram or pick up her eBook, Money and Mindset: How to Take a Sabbatical.

The Vehicles We Choose to Drive

This past week, I attended a large car auction in AZ with my parents who were visiting from South Dakota. The week-long event brought in 300,000 visitors, auctioning off 1,900 vehicles, and was expected to surpass $200 million in total sales.

The most expensive car last week sold for $2,750,000.

The entire event reminded me of a quote I find most often attributed to Harvey Mackay. The quote has significantly influenced my life.

“If you can afford a fancy car, you can make more of an impact driving an ordinary one.” —Harvey Mackay

Let’s be clear, I know nothing of the people who bought vehicles at the auction I attended. And I know nothing of their motivation. This article isn’t about them—it’s about me. And maybe about you if you want.

Harvey’s quote is a helpful guiding principle in all walks of life—automobiles being one of the most important.

In our society, people are obsessed over cars. Not all people, of course, but many. To a point, this makes sense. We have built many of our cities and towns in such a way that vehicle ownership is generally assumed.

But our fascination with vehicles goes well beyond our need for them. In our culture, they represent far more than a tool to move from Point A to Point B.

The statistics concerning vehicle use and expense seem to back-up the premise that the cars we drive are no longer just about getting from one place to another.

According to the U.S. Department of Transportation, the average annual cost of owning an automabile in 2022 was $10,729.

On average, car ownership and operating expenditures represents the second most significant expense for households representing 16% of annual income (housing ranks #1 at 34% and food ranks #3 at 12%).

The average auto loan for a new vehicle is over $41,000. And the average used car loan comes in at $28,500. That’s a whole lot of money.

A financial advisor once mentioned to me in passing, “There are three things that often lead people into debt or financial hardship: too much house, too much car, or too much dining out. This may be an overgeneralization, but most families who get a handle on these three factors, tend to make budgets that work.”

Looking past the simple economics of the matter, there are other factors in play in choosing the vehicles we drive.

Owning a car has become about something far greater than the necessity of transportation. For many people, they are the ultimate idol.

Car ownership has become very much about status and reputation. We seek to prove our success in society by the car we choose to drive.

Car manufacturers have intentionally fueled this thinking. Over the course of decades, some car brands have successfully positioned themselves as status symbols on the road. This is not necessarily because of the quality of the workmanship, sometimes it is merely a result of shrewd branding.

Often times, even influence within certain occupations can compel us to purchase certain cars. I have a doctor friend who bought a Hyundai. Upon telling his physician peers about his choice, he recalls their immediate reaction and visual disgust over his choice, “Are you kidding? Why would you settle for a Hyundai? You are a doctor for goodness sake.”

In addition to status and cultural expectation, there are internal factors that can subtly determine the cars we drive.

We may be moved by the sake of nostalgia. We become addicted to the adrenaline rush of speed or power. The appeal of a certain vehicle has fascinated our affections for as long as we can remember (“I have always wanted to own a Mustang”).

Sometimes, the ownership of a specific vehicle is intended to heal wounds that have yet to close (this can especially be seen in some father-son relationships). For others, the love of engines and mechanics impacts the cars they pursue and purchase.

Years ago, I spoke at a church in Phoenix, AZ on the life-giving pursuit of minimalism. On this particular Sunday, I invited anyone with personal questions to find me in the lobby afterwards.

Many did. And the typical questions were asked: “What about my kids? What about my spouse? What about my sentimental items?” Etc.

Towards the end of the morning, after everyone had left, one young gentleman remained. He approached me and presented his dilemma.

“Joshua, I agree with everything you said. In fact, I live a pretty minimalist life already. But I just have one question. I’d really like to own a nice car. I mean, I really, really want to own a nice car when I can. Is that wrong?”

His question was complicated—on many levels. For starters, I am not in any position to determine the rightness and wrongness of any purchase. Most of those answers generate from our motivations behind each purchase. I was in no position to determine which motivation was directing him. On the other hand, he was at a church and on some level, he would probably agree that pursuing the things of God is more important than pursuing the things of this world.

Two thoughts raced through my mind.

First of all, his desire for a nice car was clearly controlling him rather than him controlling the thought. His facial expression, tone, and even the question itself communicated this to me. Inherent in his dilemma, was the reality that he felt compelled to own a really nice car at some point in his life. Almost, as if, for some reason, he didn’t think he could change this desire even if he wanted. One of the motivations above had taken control of him.

Secondly, I was reminded immediately of the thought process spurred by Harvey’s quote above, “If you can afford a fancy car, you can make more of an impact driving an ordinary one.”

Rather than offering any specific answer to his question or instruction on how much money should be spent, I simply invited him to consider the fact that his money and life may be spent on more valuable pursuits than fancy cars.

In my own life, I try to balance my pursuit of minimalism and my need for transportation with these three questions.

1. Do I need a different vehicle? If not, why do I want a new vehicle? And is that a good enough reason to spend the resources?

2. How much cash + trade-in have I saved? One of the best pieces of financial advice I ever received was, “Always, always buy your vehicles with cash.” Despite a modest income my entire life, I have never carried a car payment. The freedom you will experience not having the monthly payment is well worth the sacrifice of never driving a new car off the lot. Trust me, you won’t regret it.

3. What are the additional expenses associated with this purchase? Calculate insurance, gasoline, anticipated maintenance, and unique circumstances (parking, tolls). Factor these into your decision by comparing several models. Sometimes a vehicle may cost more upfront, but save money in the long run.

We live in the 21st Century. Unless you live in a location with convenient public transportation, you will almost certainly need to own a vehicle. But that doesn’t mean you need to own the vehicle marketing teams compel you to purchase.

Instead, you’ll be better off owning a vehicle that provides you with the freedom, the reliability, and the resources to accomplish the greatest amount of good in this world with the one life that you have to live.

Inspiring Simplicity. Weekend Reads.

For the last nine years, I have been compiling and publishing curated articles that inspire simplicity. At first, it was an exercise in communicating to Becoming Minimalist readers the most popular articles I sent out on Twitter.

But over the years, it has become more than that. It has become a place where people (every other week) come for a dose of inspiration. And it has become a place to promote and encourage writers around the world who are publishing content about minimalism, simplicity, and intentional living.

I think you will enjoy this collection of articles hand-selected for you this weekend. Grab some coffee, tea, or lemonade and be inspired to live a simpler life today.

The Power of Decluttering: My Personal Journey to a Minimalist Lifestyle | Medium by Cheree’ Means. Decluttering becomes a powerful tool for self-discovery. As I got rid of possessions, I was forced to confront my values, priorities, and needs.

5 Important Things I Have Learned from a Simple Minimalist Lifestyle | Doable Simplicity by Jessalynn Jones. Appreciation doesn’t come easy to us. We are stuck on the so called hedonic treadmill in which we constantly look for new things to excite us.

12 Ways to Be More Present in 2023 | No Sidebar by Barefoot Minimalists. Whether you’re looking to reduce stress, improve your relationships, or just find a little more peace in your day-to-day life, here are 12 actionable ways to be more present in 2023.

The Art of Effortless Decision Making | Zen Habits by Leo Babauta. It’s so much simpler this way — simply choose from the heart. Trust. Take action. And clean up any messes that get made if things don’t work out as you’d hoped.

17 Simple Living Tips That’ll Change Your Life | Declutter the Mind by Amber Murphy. Comparison can cause us to constantly want to live large for the sake of appearances instead of living a simpler life for ourselves.

Recently Released Inspiring Videos

Organizing Is Easier After Minimizing | YouTube by Joshua Becker. In countless scenarios, we fall into a trap. The thought trap is this: “If I could just organize my stuff better, the clutter issue and stress would be gone.” Here’s a helpful alternative that will help make organizing way easier.

12 Simple Ways to Save More Money | YouTube by Joshua Becker. Given the economic period we are in, I want to share twelve simple ways we keep our personal expenses low.

The One Thought That Drives Minimalism

Minimalism in one sentence: Get rid of anything and everything that no longer contributes to the life you want to live.

I recently had a helpful online conversation with a person I’ve never met.

I had posted about minimalism on social media (as I tend to do) and she replied with a relatively common response, “I’m just afraid I’ll get rid of something I need later.”

There are, of course, no quick and easy replies to that fear—especially when we’ve never met. I don’t know where she lives, how much stuff she has, what she imagines her ideal life to look like, or even her propensity to throw away things that she’ll need later.

So, I offered my typical one-sentence reply to that question, “Aren’t you afraid of keeping more stuff than you need?”

Her reply went something like this: “No, that’s a dumb thing to be afraid of. Why would I ever be afraid of keeping more than I need?”

And in her reply, I was quickly reminded of the one belief that motivates all minimalist pursuits:

There is a danger in owning more physical possessions than I need.

The specifics of that motivation may look different from person to person.

For example, we may think to ourselves:

Owning too much keeps me from quality time with my family.Owning too much prevents me from achieving financial freedom.Owning too much means I am unable to share with others.Owning too much is a danger to the environment.Owning too much means my priorities are in the wrong place.Owning too much slows down my journey of faith.Owning too much robs my opportunity to pursue greater passions.

The specific motivation may change, but the overarching understanding is still the same:

It’s not just that possessions won’t make me happy, it’s that they distract me from the things that do! And it’s not just happiness that excess possessions distract us from, but joy, meaning, purpose, fulfillment, and significance.

That is the lightbulb moment that motivates minimalism.

There is a danger in owning more than I need:

The danger of losing my life in pursuit of things that don’t matter.

Why a Good Death Requires a Good Life

Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from  John P. Weiss .

My wife Nicole knows a great deal about death.

She’s a hospice nurse who provides care and comfort for those nearing the end of life’s journey. She also helps loved ones navigate a constellation of mixed feelings, from fear and confusion to acceptance and even relief.

Nicole took time away from work when her grandmother’s cancer, after years of successful management, finally unleashed its fatal agenda. And then Nicole’s grandfather fell ill with lung cancer. Again, she stepped in to provide end-of-life care.

Nicole tells me that in those final moments for patients and their loved ones, conversations are about love, memories, sometimes regrets, and heartfelt goodbyes. There is no talk about bigger houses, fancy cars, the latest tech gear, and all the other stuff people eventually pour into their garages and storage units.

Death is a profound teacher, but no one wants to enroll in the class.

We spend our lives pursuing money and possessions, only to discover late in the game that relationships, experiences, and passions best feed our souls. If only we figured out sooner what really matters.

If only we learned early on that a good death demands a good life.

We are not going gently into that good night

Columbia University physician Lydia S. Dugdale is a specialist in medical ethics and the treatment of older patients. Dugdale’s book, “The Lost Art of Dying: Reviving Forgotten Wisdom,” argues that far too many of us die poorly.

Dr. Dugdale’s book was inspired by an ancient text, written in the Middle Ages after the Black Plague. The text, known as Ars moriendi — The Art of Dying, inspires the view that to die well requires first that we live well.

A review of Dr. Dugdale’s book in BookBrowse.com notes:

“Our culture has overly medicalized death: dying is often institutional and sterile, prolonged by unnecessary resuscitations and other intrusive interventions. We are not going gently into that good night — our reliance on modern medicine can actually prolong suffering and strip us of our dignity. Yet our lives do not have to end this way.”

Part of the problem is that we don’t want to think about death, so we don’t plan and prepare. We put off creating trusts, living wills, and end-of-life health directives.

Even worse, our refusal to ponder and face mortality prevents us from living our best lives. We place too much importance on money, status, and possessions over our health, relationships, and serving others.

This is where minimalism and simplicity can help. By simplifying our lives and shedding the things we don’t need, we can focus more on the important stuff.

Dr. Dugdale notes in her book:

“In fact, since you can’t take it with you and your world will shrink one day anyway, start the habit now of giving your stuff away.”

There’s nothing wrong with ambition and success, but to live a good life, we ought to embrace the Latin reminder Momento mori, which means, “Remember you must die.”

It may sound depressing, but it’s liberating.

Because when we take a hard look at our lives, we begin to see the burdens we carry. Ballooning mortgages, endless car payments, credit card debt, stuffed garages, and more.

Deep personal reflection leads to other insights. Like the immense time we waste on social media distractions, Cable news hysteria, unhealthy diets, and poor lifestyle choices.

What would our lives look like if we abandoned these things and focused instead on our health, relationships, education, creative passions, and helping others?

We discovered that less is more

In 2016 I was a busy law enforcement professional, serving my tenth year as Chief of Police and 26th year in police work. I enjoyed my career but grew weary of the stress and politics.

Nicole’s work stories and experiences with her grandparents reminded me how short life is. Despite having only five years left to earn a full pension, I decided to retire early. I wanted more family time and to pursue my writing.

To compensate for the reduced income of early retirement, we embraced minimalism. We sold our home, moved to a more affordable state, and downsized.

Decluttering, adopting a simplified wardrobe, and shedding unnecessary stuff improved our quality of life. My flexible schedule as a writer allowed for more exercise, walks with my dogs, reading, and leisurely conversations with Nicole and our son.

We discovered that less is more. Little did we know how the positive changes in our lives would prepare us for what came next.

Start living our best lives

In 2021 Nicole found a lump in her breast, and doctors confirmed it was breast cancer. We found ourselves thinking about Momento mori every day.

The entire year was a flurry of appointments, tests, surgeries, follow-ups, and healing. Thankfully, the cancer was caught early, and Nicole’s prognosis is excellent.

To celebrate her recovery, we traveled this year to Scotland. We toured all over, visiting the Highlands, boating down lochs, exploring castles, and enjoying the country and its lovely people. 

A good death demands a good life. The warm memories of our Scotland trip reflect the best of life.

There was a moment in Scotland when Nicole stood on an old bridge, looking down at the flowing river below. Water under the bridge, just like the troubles and challenges we had overcome.

The scene moved me, and I snapped a photograph of that beautiful moment.

The photo is a reminder that when we simplify, declutter, and accept Momento mori, we can shed the burdens we carry. We can chart a better future.

We can start living our best lives.

***

John P. Weiss is a fine artist, retired police chief, and author of “What Life Should Be About: Elegant Essays on the Things That Matter.” He blogs about living a more artful life.