Kaylee Baldwin's Blog, page 11

Finishers

I am not a finisher when it comes to reading. If something doesn't catch my attention or keep me wanting to read, I have no problems putting a book down and moving on. I think there are just too many good books out there and I don't have a ton of time to read, so I don't want to waste my time on something that's not engaging. I thought everyone was this way.

I was wrong.
In fact, I can't believe how many people out there feel like they have to finish a book once they've started it. And here I've been for years, buying books for people just because I like the cover, or heard on the news that it was good, thinking that if the book stinks, the person will just stop reading it.
Again, wrong.
I bought my sis-in-law Inkheart for her birthday a few years ago. It sounded intriguing, there was a movie coming out, and she was enjoying the Fablehaven books, so I thought she might like it. I'm not a huge fan of middle grade fantasy, so I didn't read it first, had no idea what the books would be like. A few weeks after I gave them to her I asked her if she'd had the chance to read it yet. She said she'd started it, but was having a hard time getting into it. I told her it wouldn't hurt my feelings if she didn't like the books (I dislike probably half of the books I start reading.) Several months later, I read a book by Nicholas Sparks that I knew she'd love (we're both huge fans) but when I tried to give it to her, I was blown away when she told me that she was still reading the first Inkspell book--and having a hard time getting motivated to read it--but didn't want to start a new one until she was finished.
Nicholas Sparks, though. I'd been on a waiting list for months to get the book from my library. But she really wanted to finish Inkheart, even though it really wasn't her kind of book and it meant she wasn't reading at all.
Similar (shorter) story… Over Thanksgiving, I gave my brother-in-law a book from my shelf that I'd started reading several years ago, but stopped about 2/3s of the way through because I didn't like it. He was interested—maybe because he's in school right now and reading textbooks can make any book seem appealing. When I saw him at Christmas he was still reading it, and said it was just okay. He'd gotten a book for Christmas that he's been wanting for a long time, so I was surprised to see him reading one that he was only kind of enjoying (although I suspect he's just being nice and he really doesn't like it.) He said that once he starts a book, he has to finish it. He started reading The Road a few years ago and hated everything about it. The writing style, the plot, the characters, and he still kept reading it, just because he started it.
So, here I am, thinking I'm promoting literacy by buying and giving books, and instead, I'm kind of killing it.
Oops. (I wonder if my in-laws cringe when I given them a book…)
My finisher friends: What motivates you to finish a book you're not enjoying?

A Discovery

I made a new discovery about myself the past several months while I was dealing with the 24 hour morning (ha!) sickness with my pregnancy. I am a prideful person.

At my lowest point in being sick, I'd lost 18 pounds (just for some statistical background, I'm 5'9" and started my pregnancy at 130lbs), was crying every night when I had to give myself a shot, dealing with headache and fatigue as a side effect of my nausea medication, throwing up anything substantial I managed to eat, dragging an IV pole around with me, and fainting if I moved too quick. So, not great.
One day I had a close friend over and while we were talking, someone called to see how I was feeling. My close friend was getting bugged as she listened to my side of the conversation, especially when I said, "Oh, I'm fine. I'm really doing okay. Honestly." When I got off the phone, she informed me that I was not doing fine and I needed to stop telling people that and stop being so dang prideful (I prefer to call myself "independent," but whatev).
The next time someone asked how I was feeling, I committed to telling the truth—mostly so that I could prove to my friend that I wasn't prideful (I know, I know, the irony of proving my humility in order to save my pride, let's not go there.) In this conversation, I started to really open up. If I was going to tell the truth, then it was going to be the whole truth, apparently.

 
Cause not only was I struggling physically but I was starting to feel really, really sorry for myself. My sickness came right on the heels of news about our oldest son needing surgery again (after already having four surgeries this year), and I began to wonder why I needed be so miserable in my pregnancy when there are so many woman who aren't. It was easy to feel picked on.  Hadn't my family had a rough enough year already? Did we really need one more thing thrown our way? Had the Lord just forgotten me?  What followed from that conversation was two months of people from my church bringing dinner for my family, cleaning my house, watching my children, taking my children to school and back, and driving me to appointments.  People were calling and emailing me to see how I was doing, dropping books off for me and games for the kids. I was blown away by how much help I got with such short notice and by so many people.
And I learned something from this. It's not so easy is accepting help from other people. It killed me to accept all of this help, but I couldn't deny that I needed it. I don't think I even realized how much I needed all of that help and love until it started coming and I didn't feel so overwhelmed and forgotten anymore.
And although I would not want to live through the past four months again, I'm glad for the things I learned. I may have learned that I'm a prideful person and that I have a hard time accepting help, but I learned something else as well.
I learned that when I was in a dark time and feeling very alone and sorry for myself, the Lord was always aware of me.
We are never forgotten.

Why I Feel Like Junk

I miss you all!! I am still feeling like crap.

Here is why I am:
Hooked up to an IV
Have medicine streaming through a tube into my stomach 24/7
Practically living in my bathroom, living over Mr. Toilet
Losing about 1/2 pound a day
Fantasizing about food that I can't eat or keep down...

I am pregnant!

We are really excited about having a new baby, but pregnancy does not love me. Hopefully I've only got another month of this because my body is going to give out on me soon. Thank heavens for modern medicine. If I couldn't have all this stuff at home, I'd be in the hospital right now. But with it, I get to veg and be miserable at home. I have good days and bad days, and good parts of any days and I am in an okay day for the first time in a long time.

 The good news (or pathetic news, depending on how you want to look at it) I have been taking this time as an opportunity to catch up on my reality television--Dance Moms, Project Runway, Top Chef-Just Desserts, X-Factor, Say Yes to The Dress, What Not to Wear, VH1s Top Songs of the '00, and anything else Bravo, Lifetime, or TLC wants to throw my way. I'm not picky. My brain may be slowly eating itself with all of this tv, but it is what it is.

But I actually wrote a blog post here. It is my first blog post since I started blogging over there, and it actually has something to do with books and literature (it's called Lit Can Change Lives) instead of my current, embarrassing television habits.  Please check it out and leave a comment. :)

Oh! And more good news. Jolene Perry's book, The Next Door Boys, is out! I read this book for the first time about ten months ago. It was the first book I ever read by her and I loved it. So happy it was published. :) If you liked Meg's Melody, I really think you'll like The Next Door Boys. I should interview Jolene. Or maybe just post some of my favorite quotes from our emails....

Just Go Here

I haven't been feeling too great lately so my Internet attendance has been sporadic.

Anyway, if you haven't yet, check out the awesome group blog I'm a part of: For The Love of Contemporary.

And you don't have to take just my word for how awesome it is. :) Jessie has written a fabulous list.

Here's hoping I'll be back in the land of Alive and Kicking soon.

Critique Groups

Here are the facts of my critique group.

--I've been in it for 2 1/2 years
--Without them, I never would have finished my first book (Meg's Melody)
--We meet once a month
--We alternate whose house we meet at
--Usually we all bring something to share (1-6 pages)
--We do it at lunchtime so we can eat and critique
--We have a wide range of writers: women's fiction, romance, literary, YA, nonfiction, and middle grade (plus some crossovers: LDS, scifi, historical, etc). I love having the diversity because all of our strengths lie in different areas.

Just this week we decided that we should email our pages to the group before we meet, so that we have time to read and think about them before we get together. I know I have a harder time thinking of critiques right off the top of my head, when everyone is looking at me, expecting me to say something, but if I have time to gather my thoughts, then I can actually give decent feedback.

I also have some online crit partners that I regularly send my work to for "right now" feedback: Jolene Perry (gets the most of my stuff), DeAnn Huff, and recently Kelley Vitollo. All three write YA and are extremely talented women.  I have other beta readers that I send my full book to when I am finished and they are amazing (but that will have to be a different post)

So how do you run your crit groups? Do you have any tips? Have they helped you?

Giveaway: Prized by Caragh O'Brien

I'm hosting a contest as part of Enna Isilee's Birthday Bash 2011 Presented by Squeaky Books
From August 22nd until September 22nd Enna Isilee at Squeaky Books is having a HUGE bash to celebrate her birthday! There's a giveaway nearly EVERY DAY, tons of author interviews, and guest posts from a bunch different YA book bloggers. And I get to host a contest!


I get to give away an ARC copy of Prized by Caragh O'Brien! Entering is simple, just fill out the form (with optional bonus entries). You have until September 21st at 11:59 MST to enter. All winners will be announced on Enna Isilee's birthday (September 22nd) on Enna Isilee's blog (Squeaky Books). And today, Ennalee interviewed Caragh at Squeaky Books. You should totally go check it out.

Want to know more about Prized? Click here!
Without further ado, enter to win! Click below.


Click here to enter

Giveaways and Other Really Awesome Things

The new blog: For The Love of Contemporary is up and running!!

Come check it out, become a follower, and see all of the awesome books we're giving away. These are some of our favorite books, so it is a fabulous giveaway.

See you there :)

Just Curious

This came up the comments section of an earlier post, and it got me thinking about rereading books.

I've reread almost every book I own (all of my fiction books that I bought before two years ago, I've reread at least once.) I LOVE rereading books. In fact, most of the time, I like them better the second time because I all ready know what's going to happen, so I can just sit back and enjoy the ride.

Plus, school kind of ruined me. I have a degree in English lit, so I had to read a ton in college. I remember one semester I had to read 47 books. So I learned to speed read. And I can not get out of the habit. I speed read everything I read. So if you quiz me on a book (or even ask me about it a few months later) I've forgotten most of the details--I remember the big picture, but that's it. So rereading is fun for me to revisit stories that I blew through the first time around.

Do you reread your books? Just your favorites? None at all?

The Spark That Got Me Writing

I've always known that I wanted to be a writer. At a really young age, I remember bringing a list to my parents and announcing that I waned to:

a) Act
b) Sing
c) Write

Acting--It didn't take me too long to realize that I was too shy to act in front of people (exhibit A: the disastrous school play try-outs of sophomore year. I wish I could wipe those memories from my brain)

Singing--I do well enough to sing my kinds a goodnight song and sing along with the hymns at church (you know, blended with about 150 other people) but I realized--also in high school--when a friend wanted me to sing with him, that I was way too shy to sing in front of people. (And I won't tell you about the time someone was covering their ear when singing next to me. I tried not to be offended...)

That left writing--which was my favorite one on the list anyway. I used to make my sister write stories with me instead of play. We were endlessly starting clubs together, and part of those clubs was that we'd have to write stories back and forth with each other. She never complained (maybe because I'm the oldest) and she always read everything I wrote (still does).

But there were three experiences that made me realize that I COULD be a writer.

1) Sophomore year of high school. We had a group project in history/English (combined class) where we could present our information any way we wanted. My group decided to write a soap opera and act it out (I know, acting. I had a bit part.) It was hilarious. We had the class bending over and almost crying because they were laughing so hard. It was awesome to help write something so entertaining.

2) Junior year of high school. We had to write an epigraph paper--so basically we had to find a quote that we loved and write a personal essay about that quote. I chose a quote from James M. Barrie: "Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves." The I wrote about a time a group of us spent an evening with a friend's lonely grandpa, listening to his stories, drinking root beer, and having a great time. My teacher cried when she read it. I'd never had anyone cry when reading something I'd written. It really made me feel special.
3) Senior year of high school. We had to write personal essays again. It was a nice break after all of our lit crit essays we wrote to practice for the AP English test. I wrote an essay about a bike race between my sister and I that ended in disaster. I got it back and it had an A+  Great job!! and then he read it to the class. It was powerful having other people read and listen to something I wrote.
There are a lot of other experiences that continued to fan my writing flame into college and beyond and give me confidence that I could be a writer, but the KEY experiences all happened in high school--all three in my English classes. English teachers do have the power to help their students achieve their dreams. Mine will probably never know what an impact just a few words in an entire year of lectures and reading and discussing meant to me. I'm glad I'm a writer (and not a singer or an actor.)

It's Just Too Close

I have son with Down Syndrome and because of that, people are often recommending books where characters have children with DS as a major plot point. There are several, but the two that are most well known is Jewel and The Memory Keepers Daughter. And I've read the synopses (I actually had Jewel for over a year) but I just can't bring myself to read them.

The reason? It's just too close to what I'm living right now.

I've read several non-fiction books on DS (those are a necessity), but I have a hard time with the fiction.

I don't know if I'm worried that they'll bring up something that I'm not worried about right now, but will be after reading the book. Or if it will just break my heart because no matter what I'll identify the DS character with my son. In real life my heart already breaks a little at a time every time I have to take him to the doctors for more tests and poking and proding, to the hospital for surgery, after surgery, after no-end-in-sight surgery, or when I hear kids whisper about why he's acting "funny." But I love him like crazy, so we do these things with a big, huge (kind of strained) smile so that he's not scared. I guess when we're done with it in real life, I don't want to read about it, too.

Not that it's all hard. There's the good stuff, too. The hugs and the smiles and the times he accomplishes things we've been working on for forever, and his laugh is the best laugh in the world--but I don't need to read about it. I can just go hug my son and tickle him and hear him laugh right then. That's so much better to me.

Is there any subject that is just hard for you to read about?

(And my sparkfest post is coming tomorrow...)