Brian K. Henry's Blog, page 4
July 10, 2012
Behind the Tweet #4 The Time-Traveling Flapjack
In this edition of behind the tweet, we look at this thought-provoking entry from my tweeting logs:
Idea for a story #22 A crazed dietitian sends a stack of poisoned pancakes back through time to assassinate Theodore Roosevelt.
At first glance, it may seem absurd for a scheming assassin to send a food item sent back in time, but deeper reflection reveals that this is a far cannier and cleverer way to attempt time travel than through the usual method of transporting a whole person.
After all, what’s more difficult to disassemble at one point on the space-time continuum and then reassemble at a completely different prior point: a full-fledged human being or a couple of fresh, maple-syrup-smothered flapjacks?
There are numerous instances of deranged scientists experimentally sending fiendish villains back in time to wreak some kind of havoc. But often does the time traveler suffer a grave physical injury, endure unfathomable stresses on their vulnerable psyche or get stuck in some medieval backwater forever subsisting on a diet of peasant bread and fried crow?
By using an non-sentient dietary object for his nefarious purposes, a time scientist could avoid inhumane mental or physical injury. In addition, the huge negative of not being able to summon back your traveler from the distant past would be eliminated. Can’t bring your pancakes back to the future? No problem. Just cook up another stack.
Some may object that a stack of pancakes, or even a more nefarious food item, like a KFC Chicken and Biscuit Bowl, is no match for a canny would-be prey like Theodore Roosevelt.
This is where the time and space coordinates of your pancake destination become crucial. By arranging to have the pancakes arrive at a critical moment, such as a barnstorming campaign day in the 1904 election, and place, such as a fund-raising breakfast at a Milwaukee barn-raising, the schemer could be nearly certain that a curious, indefatigable pancake lover like Roosevelt would take the bait.
To see this tweet and more like it in its natural environment, follow me at @brianhenry63
Idea for a story #22 A crazed dietitian sends a stack of poisoned pancakes back through time to assassinate Theodore Roosevelt.
At first glance, it may seem absurd for a scheming assassin to send a food item sent back in time, but deeper reflection reveals that this is a far cannier and cleverer way to attempt time travel than through the usual method of transporting a whole person.
After all, what’s more difficult to disassemble at one point on the space-time continuum and then reassemble at a completely different prior point: a full-fledged human being or a couple of fresh, maple-syrup-smothered flapjacks?
There are numerous instances of deranged scientists experimentally sending fiendish villains back in time to wreak some kind of havoc. But often does the time traveler suffer a grave physical injury, endure unfathomable stresses on their vulnerable psyche or get stuck in some medieval backwater forever subsisting on a diet of peasant bread and fried crow?
By using an non-sentient dietary object for his nefarious purposes, a time scientist could avoid inhumane mental or physical injury. In addition, the huge negative of not being able to summon back your traveler from the distant past would be eliminated. Can’t bring your pancakes back to the future? No problem. Just cook up another stack.
Some may object that a stack of pancakes, or even a more nefarious food item, like a KFC Chicken and Biscuit Bowl, is no match for a canny would-be prey like Theodore Roosevelt.
This is where the time and space coordinates of your pancake destination become crucial. By arranging to have the pancakes arrive at a critical moment, such as a barnstorming campaign day in the 1904 election, and place, such as a fund-raising breakfast at a Milwaukee barn-raising, the schemer could be nearly certain that a curious, indefatigable pancake lover like Roosevelt would take the bait.
To see this tweet and more like it in its natural environment, follow me at @brianhenry63
May 22, 2012
11 Things You Don’t Know About Dwight D. Eisenhower
#1. Ike’s bubble gum sculptures won a blue ribbon at the Bazooka 1932 Gum Art Open.
#2. Ike spent late nights in the White House kitchen perfecting his special pear cobbler.
#3. Eisenhower’s favorite hobbit was Pippin.
#4. Ike was voted Most Popular Salsa Teacher 3 years in a row at Lupe’s Miami Dance Center.
#5. Contrary to popular belief, Eisenhower never performed live with Tina Turner.
#6. Eisenhower probably had lots of inappropriate dreams about Eleanor Roosevelt.
#7. Ike never worked the sour cream station at Chipotle Mexican Grill.
#8. Eisenhower & Howe would’ve made a great name for a vaudeville comedy team.
#9. Eisenhower never appeared in a skit on Saturday Night Live
#10. Eisenhower never had his own celebrity fragrance.
#11. Eisenhower was never considered for the part of Fred on ‘I Love Lucy’.
Eisenhower also never purchased Space Command and the Planets of Doom: http://amzn.to/atEZo9
#2. Ike spent late nights in the White House kitchen perfecting his special pear cobbler.
#3. Eisenhower’s favorite hobbit was Pippin.
#4. Ike was voted Most Popular Salsa Teacher 3 years in a row at Lupe’s Miami Dance Center.
#5. Contrary to popular belief, Eisenhower never performed live with Tina Turner.
#6. Eisenhower probably had lots of inappropriate dreams about Eleanor Roosevelt.
#7. Ike never worked the sour cream station at Chipotle Mexican Grill.
#8. Eisenhower & Howe would’ve made a great name for a vaudeville comedy team.
#9. Eisenhower never appeared in a skit on Saturday Night Live
#10. Eisenhower never had his own celebrity fragrance.
#11. Eisenhower was never considered for the part of Fred on ‘I Love Lucy’.
Eisenhower also never purchased Space Command and the Planets of Doom: http://amzn.to/atEZo9
March 4, 2012
Behind the Tweet #3 West Side, Gory
Behind The Tweet #3
This edition of Behind the Tweet takes you behind the scenes of my recent tweet:
Idea for a story #21 An avant-garde director stages West Side Story with rival zombie gangs, but Maria is attacked by a real flesh-eater.
Who hasn’t wanted to revive their favorite Broadway musical as a jazzed-up zombie gore-fest? Now that zombies have been the rage for a while, musical theater is way behind the curve.
This tweet was inspired by my work in sketching out West Side, Gory, my gut-ripping update on the beloved, but sadly monsterless, classic.
In my re-visioning of the all-too human original, the Debts, a gang of foreclosed-on, recession-pounded, homeless cast-offs, square off against the Shards, a shambling bunch of tenement-dwelling, drool-slinging, Devil-may-care zombies.
The Debts try keeping up their spirits amid a mob of dead goons, dancing a manic number while knowing that one drop of contaminated zombie saliva will seal their fate. (‘Drool, drool, keep off the drool, boys’).
When headstrong Tony ignores all the Debts taboos and falls for one of the living dead (‘I just met a corpse named Maria’), the zombie girls get excited that one of their own has finally met a living guy. Maria excitedly dresses for her big date (‘I Feel Living...’) while her mangled, decayed friends imagine their new potential lives dating humans. (‘Even dead girls get guys in America’.)
Tony takes a lot of flack when the Debts meet his new squeeze and they warn him severely. (‘Tonight, tonight. There won’t be cross-breeding tonight’). Tony runs off to join his true love and tries to find a new peace between men and zombies. (‘There’s a crypt for us...’). But matters descend to an all-out blood-spraying, body-part-slicing, munch-a-thon and Maria is left to lament her lost human love, although she’s fortunately able to salvage some of his body parts as keepsakes. (‘One Hand, One Heart’).
Production details are still in the works, pending financing.
To see this tweet and more in its natural environment, follow me @brianhenry63
This edition of Behind the Tweet takes you behind the scenes of my recent tweet:
Idea for a story #21 An avant-garde director stages West Side Story with rival zombie gangs, but Maria is attacked by a real flesh-eater.
Who hasn’t wanted to revive their favorite Broadway musical as a jazzed-up zombie gore-fest? Now that zombies have been the rage for a while, musical theater is way behind the curve.
This tweet was inspired by my work in sketching out West Side, Gory, my gut-ripping update on the beloved, but sadly monsterless, classic.
In my re-visioning of the all-too human original, the Debts, a gang of foreclosed-on, recession-pounded, homeless cast-offs, square off against the Shards, a shambling bunch of tenement-dwelling, drool-slinging, Devil-may-care zombies.
The Debts try keeping up their spirits amid a mob of dead goons, dancing a manic number while knowing that one drop of contaminated zombie saliva will seal their fate. (‘Drool, drool, keep off the drool, boys’).
When headstrong Tony ignores all the Debts taboos and falls for one of the living dead (‘I just met a corpse named Maria’), the zombie girls get excited that one of their own has finally met a living guy. Maria excitedly dresses for her big date (‘I Feel Living...’) while her mangled, decayed friends imagine their new potential lives dating humans. (‘Even dead girls get guys in America’.)
Tony takes a lot of flack when the Debts meet his new squeeze and they warn him severely. (‘Tonight, tonight. There won’t be cross-breeding tonight’). Tony runs off to join his true love and tries to find a new peace between men and zombies. (‘There’s a crypt for us...’). But matters descend to an all-out blood-spraying, body-part-slicing, munch-a-thon and Maria is left to lament her lost human love, although she’s fortunately able to salvage some of his body parts as keepsakes. (‘One Hand, One Heart’).
Production details are still in the works, pending financing.
To see this tweet and more in its natural environment, follow me @brianhenry63
February 5, 2012
Behind the Tweet #2
Ever since the first installment in my groundbreaking series Behind the Tweet, numerous followers have probably considered asking for a sequel. And if it wouldn’t be a good idea to do a sequel, why did I call the first post Behind the Tweet #1?
So, in response to possible demand, I present another peek behind the curtain into the process behind some of my most amazing tweets. This time, we’ll look at the following tweet:
Idea for story #15 Mocked as a child, Papaya Boy grows up to save America from a mutant coconut invasion.
The first hints of this tweet came into being with the simple image of Papaya Boy. There are plenty of superheroes out there named after animals, insects and even pieces of camping equipment. (Green Lantern!) But what about superheroes inspired by fruit?
The young Papaya Boy would be one of those oddities in the schoolyard, playing by himself with his fruit action figures, carving heroic sculptures from unripe bananas and plotting his early efforts to defeat the malignant coconut mutants.
But after a fateful adolescent trip to Indonesia, where Papaya Boy is mentored in harnessing and channeling his Papaya powers by Tiki-Bono, the wizened Fruit Sage, and handily defeats the Palm Frond People, he returns to his hometown and shows the bullies just what shortsighted troglodytes they really were.
You can imagine his future adventures could bring him into repeated conflict with some of the great fruit villains in the universe.
So that is another astonishing peek behind the scenes at another amazing tweet. To see this tweet and others of the same ilk follow me @brianhenry63
So, in response to possible demand, I present another peek behind the curtain into the process behind some of my most amazing tweets. This time, we’ll look at the following tweet:
Idea for story #15 Mocked as a child, Papaya Boy grows up to save America from a mutant coconut invasion.
The first hints of this tweet came into being with the simple image of Papaya Boy. There are plenty of superheroes out there named after animals, insects and even pieces of camping equipment. (Green Lantern!) But what about superheroes inspired by fruit?
The young Papaya Boy would be one of those oddities in the schoolyard, playing by himself with his fruit action figures, carving heroic sculptures from unripe bananas and plotting his early efforts to defeat the malignant coconut mutants.
But after a fateful adolescent trip to Indonesia, where Papaya Boy is mentored in harnessing and channeling his Papaya powers by Tiki-Bono, the wizened Fruit Sage, and handily defeats the Palm Frond People, he returns to his hometown and shows the bullies just what shortsighted troglodytes they really were.
You can imagine his future adventures could bring him into repeated conflict with some of the great fruit villains in the universe.
So that is another astonishing peek behind the scenes at another amazing tweet. To see this tweet and others of the same ilk follow me @brianhenry63
January 28, 2012
Behind the Tweet! #1
Behind the Tweet
This blog post is the first is an amazing, groundbreaking series taking you behind the scenes to what goes on in the production of some of my favorite tweets. After a great deal of consideration, I’ve decided to call the series ‘Behind the Tweet’!
The first tweet to be distinguished in this manner is my recent tweet of January 24:
Idea for story #10: Truman Capote Jr. gets a lifeguard job in Palm Beach where he saves three orphaned alligators from a hurricane.
As you’ll notice, this tweet in itself is part of a series. Who doesn’t love series? You, the innocent blog reader, are probably already waiting for ‘Idea for a story #11’!
This post came to me when I had the hilarious idea, ‘What if Truman Capote had an illegitimate bastard son who looked just like him – and could maybe be played by Mike Meyers in the movie version with a bald cap like Dr. Evil?’
The next step in the tweet production process was to imagine Truman Capote Jr. in an unusual situation fraught with dramatic potential. So after a quick bout of research to insure that Palm Beach was located near the ocean, I came up with the idea of making TCJ a lifeguard.
The final touch was the heart-wrenching addition of the cute, lovable alligators, who will probably be animated characters in the movie version.
I can already imagine future adventures for Truman Capote Jr., such as a visit to a biker bar and a stint in the Marines. But that’s why they call it a series!
See this tweet in its natural environment: @brianhenry63
This blog post is the first is an amazing, groundbreaking series taking you behind the scenes to what goes on in the production of some of my favorite tweets. After a great deal of consideration, I’ve decided to call the series ‘Behind the Tweet’!
The first tweet to be distinguished in this manner is my recent tweet of January 24:
Idea for story #10: Truman Capote Jr. gets a lifeguard job in Palm Beach where he saves three orphaned alligators from a hurricane.
As you’ll notice, this tweet in itself is part of a series. Who doesn’t love series? You, the innocent blog reader, are probably already waiting for ‘Idea for a story #11’!
This post came to me when I had the hilarious idea, ‘What if Truman Capote had an illegitimate bastard son who looked just like him – and could maybe be played by Mike Meyers in the movie version with a bald cap like Dr. Evil?’
The next step in the tweet production process was to imagine Truman Capote Jr. in an unusual situation fraught with dramatic potential. So after a quick bout of research to insure that Palm Beach was located near the ocean, I came up with the idea of making TCJ a lifeguard.
The final touch was the heart-wrenching addition of the cute, lovable alligators, who will probably be animated characters in the movie version.
I can already imagine future adventures for Truman Capote Jr., such as a visit to a biker bar and a stint in the Marines. But that’s why they call it a series!
See this tweet in its natural environment: @brianhenry63
January 27, 2012
Concubine Battle Produces a Winner!
One thing about Wattpad users is they don’t hesitate to let you know where they stand. In the contest of two concubine covers that duked it out on the Wattpad Facebook page for my latest sci-fi comedy novel, one user indicated “they both suck”. Also, who can forget the stirring words of Dacry Combs who wondered “What were those people thinking when they made those covers?”. At least a couple dozen people liked one or the other of the covers enough to vote for them. In fact, it was a narrow race, even more so than the Iowa caucus. But due to the people’s choice, I changed to a new illustration-style cover. Did they make the right decision? Only you can decide. Fortunately, I didn’t create either cover, I just wrote the story inside. Check it out: http://bit.ly/xDXsTT
January 26, 2012
Concubine Battle
Vote for your favorite cover for my Space Command & The Bejewelled Concubines on Wattpad’s Cover-Off! It’s a tale of two concubines, going gown to gown for the title! http://on.fb.me/z9cowk
January 25, 2012
The Great Wattpad Cover-Off!
If you guys haven't discovered Wattpad, I recommend it as a fun place to post your stories and get unfiltered feedback. For the past week I've been a featured author with my new wacky science fiction novel Space Command and the Planet of the Bejewelled Concubines. (Check out my Wattpad profile here: http://www.wattpad.com/user/abstractp...) Tomorrow, January 26, Wattpad will feature a Cover-Off for the novel on their Insider blog. Stop by and vote for your favorite, from two very different covers - both featuring the aforementioned concubines. Let me know what you think of the covers and this novel, that Wattpad users are comparing to Douglas Adams and Kurt Vonnegut.
