Nurul Syahida's Blog, page 7

Something Borrowed, Something Blue

Selamat Tahun Baru semua!
(Cis... punye la terlambat sampai 13 hari).

Or, more correctly, (sila baca lepas Maghrib) Salam Maulidur Rasul! Sallallahu 'Ala Muhammad, Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam. Semoga kita tak berselawat hanya pada Maulud Nabi.

Anyways.
The new year has not been much different from what other years. I mean, aku masih buat freelance, aku masih seorang novelis, aku masih di Malaysia (walaupun dulu poyo buat plan nak migrate Aussie bila umur 30 tahun. Shai and her plans.....). Ya, not much difference. Aku memang dah berhenti making new year a big deal since I was 23. I found that pretending like I care and making too many resolutions only end up with me not doing any of those resolutions and doing the exact opposite.

Like, that time when I said I am done trying to slim down. Then suddenly aku lost 10kg. Then aku kata "Oh, this year I will work hard so that I can tone my body like those damn KPop girls"..... takde makne. Makin aku makan lagi ade la...


But there are changes among friends. Nad dah start pindah ke rumahnya sendiri. Tim is a mummy to a healthy baby boy. Masni dah married, fly ke Japan pregnant, all in a course of a few months (I assume). Jis pulak akan kahwin Februari ni. Shikin is married and pregnant. Liza beli rumah baru. Mun's catering business dah semakin maju.

Speaking of catering (ada kaitan ke?), Sabtu lepas, aku, Liza (Liza Nur) dan Shikin (Zara Amani) lepak sarapan kat Shah Alam Mall, saja update what's new. And somehow kitorang end up brainstorming dan came up with a new trio project. I am not sure whether GBK would want to publish us, since I don't think they're so keen about 3Hati... ahahaha... but still, we just love the idea so much, we're just going to do it in spite of.

Biasanya aku akan cerita apa the whole project is about, but since nowadays dah banyak sangat kes (yang aku dengar la) this writer curik this other writer's idea, and the whole shabang, aku rasa lebih baik kitorang keep it quiet for a while.

Adakah projek ini sebuah sekuel? NNNNNNope.

Meanwhile, novel sekuel Aku Kan Novelis dikatakan bakal keluar April ini (novel aku asik keluar bulan April. Senang kata, kalau nak novel keluar April, sila hantar around June or July the year before). Novel baru Liza Nur pulak, "Pabila Dia Tersenyum" (tentative title? Not sure) will come out the month before. As for Zara Amani? Entah. Tak siap-siap manuskripnya. Ahahahaha.

Clue for the next project?

*masukkan lagu Zaiton Sameon di sini*

Lama sungguh aku tak update blog.

Maafkan aku.

Bukannya aku malas, tapi aku tak sempat.

Banyak benda yang aku tak sempat nak buat.

Aku tak sempat nak update tumblr.

Aku tak ada masa enough nak update Page FB Liza Nur.Nurul Syahida.Zara Amani (which is our official page... yang aku sangka senang sikit kalau bertiga sebab that way boleh pastikan page tu sentiasa aktif... but somehow tak jugak... trust three novelists to actually find something to update!.. yeah, we shud've just hired someone to manage it...)

Malah season terbaru BOARDWALK EMPIRE dah stack up dalam koleksi things that I should watch but have yet to do so.

Lepas hantar AKN2 tempoh hari, aku start pulak menulis SBP2. Lepas SBP2, aku nak sambung manuskrip ILHAM AZIZA (temporary title) yang aku tinggalkan buat sementara. Malah aku berhutang tiga cerita kanak-kanak dengan editor Unit Kanak2 Buku Prima.

Jadi aku mintak maaf banyak-banyak. Aku akan cuba jadi manusia yang lebih pandai menguruskan masa selepas semuanya selesai.

PS: Mak kata inilah puncanya aku tak kahwin2. Ahahahaha. Aku kata, "Mak, jodoh tu kalau dah sampai, duduk lubang cacing pun jumpa bakal suami. Kalau jodoh tu tak sampai, muka cantik macam Miss Universe dengan skil rumah tangga level Martha Stewart pun still single..."

I don't always hate everything

People kept telling me: "Shai, banyak sangatlah isu kau ni. Itu tak suka, ini tak suka. Apa yang kau suka kalau semua benda tak elok je kat mata ko?"

You want me to list things? Fine.

BENDA-BENDA YANG AKU SUKA PART I

1. Nutella
2. Food made by people who want to impress you, not food made by people who want you to praise them. Yes, they are two different things.
3. Bunga kekwa
4. The kind of morning where your neighbour doesn't think drilling the wall would be a good idea
5. David Mitchell
6. Saying random things
7. Singing random things
8. Gone with the Wind
9. Writing and not being interrupted
10. Encyclopaedia
11. People who like me
12. People who do not hate me
13. Translating Spanish telenovelas
14. KFC
15. Breaking Bad
16. Quoting Liz Lemon
17. Seluar pallazo
18. Listening to Alanis Morisette while working
19. Surah Al-Adiyat
20. Stephen King
21. Books that are not about kahwin paksa atau kahwin vampire
22. Jane Austen
23. Cats
24. People who do not annoy me
25. Men being nice because they're nice, not because they want something
26. Cheap clothes
27. Cheap anything
28. Jason Bateman
29. Prague
30. People who look at me when I'm talking and not focusing on their gadget.
31. Talk politics with people who studies politics
32. Not talking about politics with idiots
33. Shah Alam at 2am
34. Gangster movies
35. Masak lemak labu

Top 10 Male Characters that I Can Watch Three Hours Straight.

I once wrote about what kind of fictional/movie character that inspires me to write, (which you all can read HERE).

Dalam masa yang sama, sesetengah pembaca (aku tak kata "ramai pembaca" because it would be lying...) tanya aku pasal karakter lelaki yang inspire aku. Ala, aku tau kenapa diorang tanya. Mesti sebab baca AKU KAN NOVELIS, lepas tu terpengaruh dengan Roul, lepas tu nak tau what was on my mind when I created Roul, kan? Kan? Ahahahaha.
So aku senaraikan di sini. Sebenarnya bukanlah "inspire" aku, tapi senang kata, aku suka kesemua karakter ni sebab dia ada depth, as in psychological depth, bukan cam being like it "just because" (although dalam entry ni, tak semestinya aku akan buat psychological analysis for every character... sebab aku manusia yang malas). 
Anyway,...
Ini Top 10 Karakter Fiksyen/Filem (Lelaki) yang bagi aku adalah genius:

1. Rhett Butler
("Gone with the Wind")


Ya, aku suka Scarlett O'Hara, dan aku suka saingannya, Rhett Butler. Apa yang aku suka tentang Rhett bukanlah the whole package - bad boy, wealthy arsehole, rides a horse like a boss. Tapi sebab dia saja yang boleh control Scarlett's unexpected behaviour. Control in this sense bermaksud Rhett is a man who has experienced the world dan tahu bila masanya Scarlett buat sesuatu bersebab dan bila masanya she was just acting on her whims. And that can be said in regards to his views about everyone. Dia sorang saja yang rasa this whole war business merugikan dan the South tak ada sebarang strategi tapi sekadar ego yang dipupuk dek semangat 'ketuanan' (atau erti kata lainnya, "Southern Pride"). He's not cynical. He's just being logical. And the others hated him for his socially-marginalised views.

(Sebab tu setiap kali aku dengar member2 citer pasal semangat ketuanan Melayu, aku teringat pada Rhett Butler's heated exchange with the overzealous South fanatic, Charles Hamilton)

Dan aku suka the fact that in the end, he left Scarlett. It shows that Rhett bukan karakter jiwang yang akan buat apa saja demi mendapatkan perempuan yang sah-sah tak tahu menghargai apa yang dia ada. He left her not as a lesson to her, but as a lesson to himself, that his obsession with her passion is poisonous.

Of course aku suka when they were together, because they're such an evil tag team, tapi aku rasa tak ada apa yang lebih hebat berbanding the last part when he left her despite her love confession. It made GONE WITH THE WIND a better story, because then you realised that the story is not actually about Scarlett and Rhett. It's a story about the rise and fall of civilisation yang dipercantikkan dengan kewujudan dua karakter tu. It was the age of civil war. It doesn't want to dumb readers with happily ever afters. (Sebab tu aku sangat benci novel "Scarlett" yang ditulis oleh Alexandra Ripley, sebab she just destroyed all the meaning from GWTW with her annoying happily ever afters...)

Oh, dan jangan lupa his most iconic statement yang suatu masa dulu pernah jadi aku punya title blog...

2. Richard Harrow
(Boardwalk Empire")


Harrow bukan watak utama dalam siri HBO pasal era Prohibition ni. Tapi as soon as the producers masukkan wataknya dalam siri ni, aku terus cam,...Hell yeah! Played by Jack Huston, cucu kepada THE John Huston, the first episode yang dia muncul, lookin' all "Don't-look'at-me" and "I-am-already-dead-in-the-war", aku terus rasa that I will like his character.

First of all, Richard Harrow ada dua personaliti. No, walaupun topeng dan kecacatan muka dia tu ala Two-Face, dual personality yang aku maksudkan bukan macam Two-Face. Harrow is a ruthless assassin who just wants to be normal. The death of Angela beri impak yang lebih besar kepada dia berbanding kepada Jimmy, which is her own husband, sebab Angela was his 'normal'. He was not in love with her, but he loves her for how she treated him as if he was whole (pun intended). The same goes to his loyalty to Jimmy, the only guy yang bercakap dengan dia tanpa mintak dia explain kenapa muka dia macam tu, and the fact that Jimmy shares the same misery with him - that they both think they've already died in the war, and they're only living the remnants of a meaningless life, makes them closer together. And it was super-badass tengok these two guys destroying people who got in Nucky Thompson's way earlier in season 1.

So bila Jimmy mati and Harrow returns to the Darmody mansion dengan his whole arsenal dan tembak semua orang (dengan penuh bergaya, because he's Richard Harrow, bitch!) semata-mata untuk stay true to his promise to Angela and Jimmy and protect their son Tommy, aku depan TV cam, "Yeah, shoot em all! Shoot. Em. All!!"

(okay, perangai suruh tembak orang ni just untuk televisyen. Aku tak condone the use of weapon towards anybody, criminal or not).

3. Mr. Darcy
("Pride & Prejudice) 


Minat Mr. Darcy, oh sangat klise! Tapi I have to admit, PRIDE AND PREJUDICE was the only book yang boleh buat aku bangun pukul lima pagi just untuk baca what happen next. Tak ada buku lain. Not even GONE WITH THE WIND boleh buat aku bangun pukul lima pagi just untuk tahu what happened in the second act.

Dulu aku anggap Mr. Darcy adalah watak yang paling perfect dalam dunia, tapi itu aku ketika berusia awal 20-an. Masa awal 20-an, rupa paras, kekayaan, dan the whole "I will do anything for her" shit macam sangat dreamy. Tapi di era ini, era aku selalu sakit sendi, banyak bil nak dibayar dan ada metabolisme yang menurun (haih...), Mr. Darcy macam satu fantasy yang tak akan jadi kenyataan. Tapi aku still kena masukkan dia dalam senarai sebab I even dedicated a whole book for Mr. Darcy in my second novel, PLAIN JANE.

The reason is the same with everybody - he is dreamy, complicated, misunderstood, yada yada yada. Next!!

4. Michael Bluth
("Arrested Development")


Memang aneh untuk memasukkan watak Michael Bluth ke dalam senarai. Tapi aku tak kata ini senarai "lelaki idaman aku", just senarai karakter yang aku suka. Dan aku suka Michael Bluth (lakonan Jason Bateman) sebab dia ridiculous. He is adorable, yes... but ridiculous to boot.

I mean, he is a family man yang cuba nak satukan keluarganya tak kira betapa unworthy  dan selfish sekalipun keluarganya tu. Tapi dalam masa yang sama, Michael sendiri bukanlah manusia paling baik dalam dunia. He thought he is. He thought he is the saviour who can unite the family. But he actually does it for his own ego. He can't stand it when he was not the go-to guy atau bila anak dia lebih worship GOB or Lindsay. Dia nak ada say in everything and keep using the word, "I have sacrificed a lot for this family".

Michael Bluth is actually the epitome of almost everybody in the world who think that they're doing something good for others or sacrificing for the sake of others, tapi sebenarnya ada ketidakikhlasan di situ, usually when they feel hurt that they're under-appreciated. Have you ever felt like that? Then, congrats, you're a Michael Bluth. Are you saying you're not? Tahniah, you are in denial, which still makes you a Michael Bluth.

5. Michael Corleone
("The Godfather, 1, 2 & 3")

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Setiap kali sebut nama Michael Corleone, mula la otak aku main lagu "Speak Softly Love"... which is actually theme song untuk Don Vito, dan bukan Michael. Masa mula-mula aku tengok THE GODFATHER, aku terlalu muda untuk memahami the fact that the whole story is about Michael, not Vito.

Michael, macam Richard Harrow, cuma nak kehidupan biasa with his beloved, Kay, which in Mafia book means 'fantasy life'. Dia tak nak jadi sebahagian daripada the whole Mafia family, and Don Corleone pun harap yang his most favourite son will not be a part of the "family business". Tapi he was thrust into the criminal life when his father was nearly killed by Sollozo. It's like, he didn't want to join the life of crime because of his father, but he finally joined in because of him. Very Greek tragedy, no?

So here's a normal guy who wants no violence, but had to be violent due to circumstances... and choice. A choice he regretted later, but a choice he can't turn away from. Which is so similar to another of my favourite male character:

6. Walter White
("Breaking Bad")


Walter White, not unlike Michael Corleone, is a non-violent man who has to finally resort to violence. Cuma bezanya, even Michael Corleone tak berniat nak masuk ke dunia jenayah. Tapi Walter, the 50 year-old chemistry genius yang end up jadi under-appreciated chemistry teacher due to his own pride and greed once upon a time, end up menjadi drug kingpin sebab dia tak tahu when to actually stop.

Well, of course he started because he was diagnosed with cancer and will die in two years, so dia tak nak burden his family with debt dengan cara mencari easy money menggunakan kepakarannya dalam chemistry to create the purest crystal meth ever. Tapi Walter White yang itu cuma nak dapatkan duit dengan pantas tanpa keluarganya tahu tentang penyakitnya ataupun aktiviti haramnya. Masalahnya, the world that Walter was forcing himself into is not the typical demand-supply, buy-sell world. The drug biz is a multi-layered criminal world yang melibatkan cartels, which means a lot of additional crimes, death and much more. And he can't get his money by being Walter White, the wimpy high school teacher. He has to play a new role, of a cunning conniving kingpin with the pseudonym Heisenberg.

Apa yang aku suka tentang Walter White adalah the fact that when you peel all the layers, adalah lelaki yang mengalami krisis pertengahan usia. Students dia tak pedulik dengan chemistry, bini dia queen control and sedang pregnant, dia ada two jobs untuk provide for his family and pay the medical bills for his son yang ada cerebral palsy, kawan baik dia di universiti dah berjaya jadi billionaire through the company yang he helped created and he even named, and now he is dying of cancer and may die as an insignificant man despite his actual talent and intelligence.

Tapi once he became "The One Who Knocks", dia lupa diri dan his pride and greed takes over. Tapi the "geniusness" of this character (played by Bryan Cranston of "Malcolm in the Middle" fame) ialah, anda tahu dia sebenarnya evil, selfish, ego, tamak, angkuh... tapi somehow you root for him, because you know how it feels to be unappreciated.

7. Michael Scofield
("Prison Break")


Ah, what is a list of top men without our darling Scofield, eyh? A frikken genius? Checked. Smooth-talker? Checked. Must be filthy rich being one of the best structural engineer around? Checked. Masuk penjara demi abang? Checked. Brooding much? Checked. Origami expert? Checked. Making low latent inhibition sexy? Checked. Menjadikan blueprint penjara seni tatu yang cantik? Checked. Deep blue eyes that you want to swim in? Checked.

Oh, tak payah cerita pasal Wentworth Miller gay atau tak. Itu isu lain. Kita bercakap tentang Scofield, dan bukan pelakon yang melakonkan watak Scofield. Scofield macam that one dude you hope to be with somehow cuz you know if something happens to you, he will do everything in his power to save you... and not in those cliched "Nah, aku beli syarikat ni so kau tak perlu dibuli lagi" sense, but more like, "See, I fake death and run into danger just to see you again..." ala-ala Shakespearean heroes.

I want to be all psychological about Scofield, but I just like him for all the obvious reasons, so macam pointless je nak pura-pura macam ada intelligent views about it. Ahahaha.

8. Sherlock Holmes


For obvious reasons, I will just say that I have all the Sherlock Holmes series, the book, I mean. That's how much love I have for the automaton of a man. People keep liking him for his less than interested view about the world. But to me, he is just an indifferent bastard who cares more about the how than the why.

Which is totally different than me, since I like to know why, before I even want to start to figure out the how.

9. Daryl Dixon
("The Walking Dead")



This is to show that I am a normal girl who does not only worship a 50 year-old crystal meth maker (macam Walter White) atau brooding half-faced assassin (macam Richard Harrow), but a normal woman who looks at Daryl Dixon and thinks, shit, I want one!

That crossbow, that bike, I mean, Daryl is his own video game character. In a way, he is like Michael Scofield. His brother is a goner, and yet he stays true to him. Dia yang hunts for food, dia yang ada weapon paling senyap dan efektif and he is not interested in the whole power struggles, sama ada antara Rick and Shane, atau Rick and the Governer. He's just minding his business like nobody's business.

I mean, kalau aku dalam Zombie Apocalypse, I want to be where he is. Macam lagu The Calling, "I'll go wherever you will go...."

10. Ustaz Ilyaz
("Dari Sujud ke Sujud")



Ini memang totally sebab character Ustaz Ilyas yang dibawak oleh Dude Harlino je, sebab dia nampak sangat meyakinkan sebagai seorang ustaz. Jalan cerita memang out. Aku rasa aku tengok sinetron ni hanya sebab Ustaz Ilyas dan Husna. Jalan cerita yang mengarut pasal the whole rape thing is just like, "What? You know there's an easy solution to the actual problem, right?"

It's not even Dude Harlino per say. I mean, I don't actually like his role as Shamsul Hadi in "Munajat Cinta". It's just that Ustaz Ilyas is familiar. It reminds you of your childhood and teenage years, bila ada ustaz muda mengajar kat sekolah and like, every girl in the school went totally nuts. Like, I remember there was this one ustaz... what was his name... but he was frikken gorgeous, and like, there were female students almost always in the teacher's room asking stuff yang konon2 tak faham masa dalam kelas. Or that ustaz when I was in UIA, not that good looking, but was quite popular with the girls that once a girl blocked me and went, "Ustaz, dah dengar lagu M.Nasir yang baru?" when I was right in the middle of answering his question about Heliocentrism or something (yeppp, nerd alert).

And Ustaz Ilyas reminds me of those ustazes (is that a correct plural?)... asatizes (dah jama' dalam Arab, nak plural english lagi... ish ish..)...in my growing up years. I mean, come on... you all go "Awwwweee....." bila dia sebut nama Husna dengan lemah lembut, kan? Kan? Kan?

And then when Dude goes back to his modern Dude Harlino look, you just want to go, "Duuude (as in duuuude, not Du-de), no. Go back to the pesantren look. It makes you YOU. Don't go back to the modern world. The modern world's an arse!"

Assholes 101 - Part I: Impatient drivers

From this day onwards, I will try to make one special segment called "Assholes 101", speaking to you all about the people that annoy the crap out of me.

And oh yes, though I did say that I will try to be a good human being that doesn't swear a lot and using the F-word, C-word, B-word (I don't even know why the B-word is considered a bad word. Just don't eat it, you don't need to cuss it) and the whole alphabetical.... thing... word... (huh?).
But if there are words that I will never promise not to use, they would be:

a. Asshole
b. Douchebag
c. Incomprehensive arse

I love those words. Fullstop.

But anyway. The first asshole I want to talk about is the kind of assholes that caused this:


No, I don't mean the video guy. I am talking about these:


Might I inform you that the correct lane is the left one...
No, not just the two cars (aku malas nak kaburkan nombor plet diorang). But the whole lot in front and behind them. You see, the Kuala Pilah - Ulu Bendul road is actually what we call jalan kampung. Which also means that it has only two lanes going for two opposite direction. And for people coming from, let's say, Sri Menanti (like moi), we don't have any other road but this one. It's either that, or we have to surrender to a verrry verrry long journey using the other road.
So, it is normal for bad traffic when the festive season arrives. It has been that way for the past, I don't know, 60 years? Let's not rant about what the Negeri Sembilan state government has been doing and just focus on the micro. Us.
People. just. got. to. be. patient. 
The two photos that I took (because we were freaking mad inside the car), depict the cars in the wrong lane - impatient people who are using the opposite lane to cut the existing traffic. What's wrong in this picture is not just the fact that the road only has two lanes and they are simply cutting off the road for the opposite traffic, but they have also obstructed the ambulance, fire truck and the tow truck from coming and going.
Not like they didn't see or hear those nenong nenong sound, which of course indicate that there is trouble in front. Normal people with good hearing and sense would know that the sound and the inevitable red truck with the word BOMBA in lopsided spelling means there is something bad that has been delaying others.
I mean, what is wrong about waiting? I know it has been two hours. But as far as I am concerned, if you are stuck in traffic for more than two hours, all you have to do is just turn back. Or if it doesn't move at all, ask one of your passenger to get out, and try to find what the issue is and find the solution from there onwards. Cutting the line is just asshole-ish (that's not a word), ESPECIALLY when the accident (in this case, involving a white Kelisa, a cement truck and two Aerobacks, resulting in eight injuries and one death) happened BECAUSE one of the car (in this case, allegedly the Kelisa) tried to cut the line and couldn't avoid the incoming truck, causing the truck to lose control and hit the two Aerobacks. 
It's like, you are seeing the consequence of being impatient just in front of you while you are doing the same thing. It's moronic.
Here's the thing. When I told people that I don't want to get a driving license because I don't believe that I will be a good driver, people kept telling me, "Oh no, you need one. All you need is practice. I was bad at first too". But most people are actually bad drivers who cut lines, who would speed up and cut several lanes because they were on the wrong one, and making u-turns at traffic lights. What is the problem of me trying to avoid being a nuisance on the road? I know my full potential and my thought processes. They are not good for the longevity of mankind!!!
There was a comedian who said that people who failed their driving test more than three times should not be given another chance. And somehow I think it's true. I mean, I even believed that drivers should not only take driving license but psychological tests. There are lots of crazy people on the road, I mean like:
1. Women putting make-up while on the road(Seriously? Your beauty is more important than others' safety?)
2. Line-cutters(You will not explode into tiny bits even if you wait a little)3. Signal seniles(The signal sticks are there for a reason, you know)4. The cussing crap-asses(Yes, there are people who drive stupidly, but you don't have to call them by their reproductive system)
...and my most favourite one of all: THE CHALLENGERThose people who, upon being wronged by another driver, thinks that "Hey, I will now follow you closely and chase your tail and make threatening sounds with my car because in my head that's so intimidating and all."
Forgive and forget, will you? Why would you even want to follow them, make them only the more anxious and cause another accident, o you incomprehensive arse? Stop it. You won't win any Noble Prize in doing so. 
Assholes...    Read the accident news -> HERE
I would also like to express my condolences to the family of Allahyarham Rahmat Jamaludin, the man who was victimised by others' lack of tolerance and bad decision, be it the person who made the choice to cut the line that resulted in the accident that took his innocent life, or the other line cutters - who slowed down the rescue team that were trying to save him and his family.

A monologue

Bila orang lain buat benda pelik, semua sedara mara aku hairan. Tapi kalau aku buat benda pelik, dia orang kata, "Biasalah kakngah ko tu."

Adik aku suka kata, "Kakngah punya kawan pelik-pelik", while kawan-kawan aku kata, "Kau yang suka kawan dengan orang pelik-pelik."
Masa dekat sekolah, kalau aku cakap sesuatu, Ustazah Ann Surina akan kata, "Ada-ada jelah kamu ni, Syahida!"
While Ustaz Nasser di Matrics UIA pernah suruh aku duduk depan dia and told me, "You have a certain style, Syahida. You just don't know it."
Editor aku kat CO pernah ping aku kat MSN Messenger and kata, "Wow, you are more drama than me!"
While kawan-kawan baik aku, especially Mun dan Nad, percaya yang aku memang tak berapa nak 'normal' berbanding orang lain.
Mungkin itu yang menjadikan aku seorang novelis. Jangan salah faham. Bukan maksud aku orang normal tak boleh jadi novelis. Boleh. Maksud aku ialah, orang normal boleh jadi novelis dan benda lain. Orang pelik cuma sesuai jadi novelis.
Sebenarnya sampai sekarang aku tak tahu apa yang menjadikan aku 'pelik'. Mungkin sense of humour aku. Mungkin benda remeh pada orang lain yang aku ambik serius (like how I hate malt drinks and think it's just intentional for them to make it look like beer. What's the problem of designing a less ambiguous design rather than having the same font and shape like a beer?)... atau benda serius pada orang yang aku amik remeh (to tell you the truth, I still think Alvivi's recent action was just a joke-gone-wrong rather than a-slap-to-Muslim's-face).
Mungkin sebenarnya aku tak pelik. Mungkin aku cuma duduk di negara yang salah. Mungkin di UK, atau Uganda, atau Cuba, atau Australia, cara aku berfikir ini normal. 
Mungkin aku dikelilingi kawan-kawan yang sama anehnya sebab kami kekurangan orang yang berfikir dengan cara yang sama. Mungkin kami normal, dan orang lain yang pelik.
Jika ditanya apa yang pelik sangat, aku tak tahu apa nak jawab. Adakah cuba berinteraksi dengan kucing dengan cara duduk seperti kucing dan menghabiskan masa selama lima minit merenung mata kucing itu dikira pelik? Kalau itu pelik, ya aku pelik.
Adakah berfikir tentang keajaiban alam dengan cara membuat analisa tentang tahi keras dan tahi cair itu satu kepelikan? Jika itu pelik, ya aku pelik.
Adakah  keengganan membeli beg tangan yang nilainya lebih tinggi dari isi dompet itu dianggap pelik? Kalau ya, maka aku pelik.
Adakah memilih untuk menterjemah maksud "Forgive and Forget" secara harfiah, lalu memaafkan seseorang dan berpura-pura seperti insan tersebut tidak wujud lagi dikira satu kepelikan? Jika itu pelik, maka aku pelik.
Mungkin aku terlalu banyak berfikir. Mungkin tindakan berfikir lebih lanjut tentang isu ini menunjukkan aku tidak pelik. Mungkin orang akan salah sangka yang aku anggap 'pelik' itu satu pujian. Mungkin orang fikir aku cuma mahu distinguish diri aku sebagai insan yang berbeza dari orang lain. Mungkin aku perasan.
But I wish I was normal. I wish I get angry at Alvivi, or buys Prada without thinking, or just met any guy who wishes to meet me, or wake up every morning knowing what to do and sleep at night thinking I just did what I had to do today and I will do it again tomorrow, or buy a house when the price goes down, or drive a car, laugh when I feel like it, cry when I feel sad, listen to other people, write what others want, think about weddings and kids names, enjoy the moment, eat, pray, love.
But I can't. Semua harus ada makna dan tidak ada makna dalam masa yang sama.
Mungkin kerana itu mereka kata aku pelik. 

THE SELF-OBSESSED TRIVIA 6: Things you should know about 3 HATI

After much persuasion, we finally have it!


* Sebenarnya kitorang bagi banyak pilihan tajuk kepada editor, like "Trenologi", "Madchen & Madness", etc etc. In the end, editor pilih 3 HATI.

* Buku ni diedit oleh Encik Mohd Ali. First time for NS, but since Liza n Zara memang biasanya diedit En. Ali, so secara tak langsung, En. Ali edit NS punya sekali. Although En. Ali yang found NS and took NS under his wings, actually novel NS tak pernah En. Ali yang edit (selama ni editor NS adalah Sue, Che Echah, Anis n Poja).

* Our beloved Ms. Syreen yang buat cover novel. Memula kitorang mintak three girls in the train, to signify the only time the three of them met each other, tapi sebab ada protocols and trademark BP kena stick to, so dapat kasut. But we still got the polkadots we wanted so much. Yay.

* The inspiration we got to write together and actually bincangkan the whole plot adalah masa meeting Grup Buku Karangkraf. Orang semua pergi makan, kitorang lepak dalam audi bincang pasal jalan citer. That was in... 2010? 2011?

Liza Nur on Lea

1) Kisah lembu terbabit dalam drama Lea dan Noah masa kecik...lembu juga ada dalam Panggil Aku Kiah sebab Liza pernah bercita-cita untuk menjadi penternak lembu semasa kecik...



2) Sebab kami bertiga nak wujudkan karektor yang personaliti yang berbeza, Liza terpaksa ambil watak yang paling lembut hati sekali...takkanlah nak tulis semua heroin yang balas dendam, kan? Kena la variasikan...

3) Ada banyak maksud tersirat dalam Lea... Trimas kepada yang sudi menelaah maksudnya... bagi yang tidak suka juga, terima kasih kerana membuatkan kaki Liza sentiasa berpijak di bumi...InsyaAllah, akan berusaha lagi di masa depan...

4) Kenapa Liza namakan hero Liza, Noah? Liza pun tak tau. Ia terjadi secara random... Liza cuba turutkan kemahuan pembaca yang merasakan nama-nama watak novel Liza terdahulu terlalu panjang...

5) Liza tau Lea watak yang sadis... Bagi Liza, menghidupkan satu watak begitu adalah satu cabaran..Kalau anda merasakan Lea ‘menyedihkan’ sebab sayang gila kat Imran dan sangat melodramatik, maknanya Liza telah berjaya memenuhi misi Liza dalam menghidupkan karektor Lea dan mengalunkan kisah ini dalam 3 Hati...

Nurul Syahida on Wulan
1. While Lea's story is about heartbreak, acceptance dan epiphany, Wulan's story is about revenge and karma. More towards her break from auto-pilot lifestyle to actually understanding what she wants in life rather than who she ends up with.
2. Nama Wulan aku gunakan sebab aku memang sejak dulu aku suka nama tu. It is so nusantara. And aku memang suka kisah cinta Jaka dan the angel Nawangwulan, especially the part where the relationship between the two is full of deception. Nawangwulan sangka dia jatuh cinta pada manusia yang selamatkan dia, without knowing that Jaka was the one yang halang dia dari kembali ke dunianya by stealing her selendang. Meanwhile, nama Neal aku amik dari that divorce lawyer, Neal Hersh masa aku tengah buat artikel pasal perceraian di Hollywood... dan Henry pulak... I just like the name Henry. It's so.... Henry? Oh, dan Wai Ting, kawan baik Wulan di ofis pulak sebenarnya nama sebenar former intern masa aku kerja CO who is now a journalist kat NST.

3. Lagu "On the Street Where You Live" adalah antara lagu muzikal dari filem/teater "My Fair Lady" yang aku sangat sangat sangat suka. Aku memang sangat nak masukkan lagu tu somewhere to tell people how I frikken love it (the simple lyrics, the beautiful melody, the "awwww" factor) and hope that they love it too as much as I do. So,...
4. Why Kota Kinabalu? Sebab when I was at my lowest, the lowest point of my life in 2010, my best friend Tim bought me a ticket to Kota Kinabalu. Aku selalu rasa those movies where you go away for a vacation changes you tu macam sangat klise, but it did change me. If you ask my friends, who I was before KK and after KK adalah sangat berbeza. After KK, I seemed to be able to cope with stress better. Kota Kinabalu was a turning point for me. So I made it a turning point for Wulan too. 
5. Aku jadikan stress ball permulaan kisah sebab masa aku menulis Wulan, ada stress ball kat sebelah aku. Masa aku mula-mula kerja dulu, aku diberi work station. While getting used to the place, aku bukak laci dan jumpa stress ball tu. Mungkin ditinggalkan oleh the person before me. Setiap kali aku ramas stress ball tu bila aku stress (stress call manager artis tapi tak angkat, stress kena pergi event masa ko takde mood langsung nak interview orang, stress kena buat mcm2 jenis kerja sekalipun ko kerja editorial), aku terfikir, adakah orang sebelum aku jugak meramas stress ball ini dan fikir benda yang sama yang aku fikir? Bila aku berenti kerja, unlike Wulan, aku bawak balik stress ball tu ke rumah dan it kept me company while I was writing about Wulan and her own stress ball.

Anyway, small explanation pasal Neal dalam 3HATI and his playbook. I've read some comments saying that Neal was plagiarised from Barney Stinson of "HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER". Though I admit that certain characteristics of Barney ada dalam Neal, you have to understand one thing - All. Players. Are. Like. That. The ones I spoken to during my interview for the book have similar characteristics, and they exist even before Barney was televised. They like shock values, they like surprises, they're not really into candle light dinners (those are amateur wannabe player). They all have the same dream of publishing their own playbook. Sorry if you think I am plagiarising a character from a sitcom. My friend Adrian will be pissed if you compare him to Barney again. Ahahaha...

Zara Amani on Nini

1. Nama Nini dan Acik ni sebenarnya nama kawan ZA yang telah menuntut nama masing-masing diwartakan dalam mana-mana karya ZA. Makanya, Fatin Zubir and Achik Ashraf, belajar rajin-rajin. Wedding gua nanti datang eh. Haha... Watak dalam cerita ni langsung tak sama dengan empunya diri. ZA pakai nama je without prejudice. Watak adalah rekaan ikut suka semata-mata.

2. ZA cuba menerapkan elemen kejujuran dalam setiap tindak tanduk kita. Antara sedar atau tak, ramai antara kita yang takut berlaku jujur sebab nak menjaga hati dan terlebih jujur sebab juga nak menjaga hati. Hmm.. ZA personally tak setuju dengan dua-dua tu. Kita mesti jujur untuk satu perkara yang kita tidak akan kita sekali-sekali kesalkan. Itu prinsip ZA.


3. Kisah payung terjun dalam tu sebab waktu tu memang gila buat payung terjun dan nama-nama watak dalam tu 98% adalah benar mengikut perangai masing-masing. Pendek kata, cerita tu adalah dedikasi untuk kawan-kawan yang menceriakan ZA sepanjang tahun 2011/2012.

4. Nini ditunjukkan sebagai gadis yang tabah dan merasakan dia mampu berdiri sendiri tanpa sesiapa. Tapi hakikatnya, dia tidak mampu hidup bersendirian seperti yang termaktub dalam firman Allah swt, lelaki dan wanita itu diciptakan berpasang-pasangan. Dalam cerita Nini dan Achik, Nini bertindak menjadi Mars manakala Achik yang lebih mellow menjadi Venus.

5. Nini cuba diterapkan sebagai seorang yang berani membuat keputusan sendiri biar pun dunia membangkang sekerasnya. Yang dia akan kesalkan adalah jika dia tidak berterus terang sekiranya dia mempunyai peluang. Betul atau salah, kita hanya tau jika kita mengambil langkah untuk ambil tahu. Kalau betul, alhamdullillah. Kalau salah, kita belajar. Jangan takut mengambil risiko. Bangkit jika kita jatuh. Jangan takut orang mengata. Masuk cerita Asyraf Muslim kahwin kat Thailand lenyaplah gosip-gosip sebelumnya itu. Yang penting, kita tak ada apa nak dikesalkan.

Realiti hari ini, ramai gadis atau wanita yang menjadi Mars kerana status lelaki berkualiti yang kurang. Tetapi semakin lama ZA perhatikan... Wanita adalah Mars... banyak menyumbang pada masalah sosial. Bila dikenangkan balik.. Allah itu sememangnya Maha Adil lagi Maha Mengetahui. Next novel, kite revise balik pemikiran macam tu. ;)


Untuk mendapatkan 3 HATI, anda boleh membuat pembelian di --> ARRAZI.

**To check out previous trivias untuk buku-buku lain, click SEKOLAH BANYAK PENUNGGU, VALENTINA NERVOSA, AKU KAN NOVELIS, PLAIN JANE, dan SOALNYA HATI.

THE SELF-OBSESSED TRIVIA 5: Things you should know about SEKOLAH BANYAK PENUNGGU

Hey, it's back! My annoying trivia, I mean. Sebenarnya aku nak start on 3 HATI dulu, tapi sebab aku kena tunggu Zara Amani dan Liza Nur sediakan their part of the trivia (which I bet will take like... ages...knowing those two... ahahahahah), I decided to start with this one first. Lagipun, befitting jugakla memandangkan SBP keluar dulu sebelum 3 HATI, although betapa susahnya korang nak jumpa buku ni kat kedai seolah-olah macam buku ni keluar tahun 2005, kan?



1. Mari kita mulakan dari awal. Watak-watak utama: Dinie adalah kawan baik aku, Dot tu nama biasa untuk budak-budak asrama dan Shikin was the same. Kak Ummi memang kakak senior masa aku duk asrama dulu although Kak Ummi sebenar sangat tidak sama dengan Kak Ummi dalam SBP. Kak Nad pulak? I just took the name of my bestfriend Nad. Pun berbeza dengan Nad yang sebenar.
Buku ni ditulis pada tahun 2011 sebenarnya, dan dihantar pada 2012. Tapi hanya dikeluarkan pada tahun 2013.
2. Kebanyakan nama watak dalam SBP aku amik dari nama those people that I know yang sama-sama mengharungi kepayahan hidup di asrama. Like Asyran dan Pailang (senior sekolah aku), Fatim, Mas, Deq Nor, Jenet, Anor, Siet, Haza, Ema, Sha, Cikgu Zul, Cikgu Shana (which is actually senior aku, bukan cikgu). Malah dalam cerita tu ada bab Hanis usik Fatim dan kata dia anak murid kesayangan Ustaz Adnan. In reality, kawan baik aku Fatimah married her teaching colleague, Ustaz Adnan.
Zaman sekolah once upon a time3. Kisah hantu yang pertama merupakan urban legend sekolah berasrama yang paling popular zaman aku. Aku mix it together dengan satu lagi kisah senior sekolah yang nyanyi lagu Fauziah Latif masa tengah berus gigi when suddenly he saw "Fauziah Latiff" kat cermin singki sebelah. It is also a part of story dari seorang member, Husna yang belajar di SMAKL. The thing with the pipes opening one by one? She experienced that. 
4. Kisah hantu kedua merupakan cerita tak benar. Sebenarnya aku nak buat cerita pasal satu kisah yang diceritakan warden asrama kitorang once upon a time. Sama ada kisah ni benar atau tak, aku tataula. Tapi it's about this one boy yang malas pergi solat Jumaat dan sembunyik dalam loker. Dia mintak member dia tu tolong manggakan loker tu (for a more realistic effect) dan bukak lepas budak tu balik solat jumaat. Malangnya, kawan dia lupa bukak dan since it's the same day bebudak asrama balik untuk cuti semester, he was left inside the locker and died of suffocation and hunger. It was one of the most horrific tales I have ever heard, but I changed it a bit untuk jadikan cerita tragic yang penting untuk plot buku. 
5. Cerita hantu ketiga, kisah pocong tu adalah exaggeration from a true story. Masa aku form four (or form three? tak ingat), asrama aku takde air so we had to go and take a bath kat tandas sekolah. Masa nak balik tu, ada plak mamat sekor ni panjat bumbung dewan makan dan pretend to be pocong. Although aku balik lebih awal ke bilik, it was told later that ada another one lurking behind the fake ghost. 
Meanwhile, senior aku Asyran buat permintaan untuk aku jadikan dia hero novel. Memandangkan aku tak ada novel terbaru masa tu, aku jadikan dia watak utama dalam cerita ketiga tu. In actuality, sekalipun there is a real Asyran, he was not the real fake ghost in the story. Aku rasa fake ghost dalam kisah sebenar adalah seorang junior bawah batch aku.
6.  Kisah keempat adalah gabungan cerita urban legend pasal nenek yang paling popular kat asrama, dan kisah yang berlaku pada kawan-kawan aku one night masa tengah sambut birthday party belakang bangunan asrama. Malah aku gunakan actual setting (blok asrama, jalan kecil menuju ke tong sampah besar, menghadap gelanggang sepak takraw dan bola tampar). Sha, Ema dan Haza were actual friends in reality. Masa kat sekolah aku anggap diorang ni macam the "reggae type" you usually have in Hollywood high school cliches - the cool collected people yang tak pedulik dengan the whole school politics and just doing their thing, and you always wanted to be them but know you couldn't becaue you're too kiasu.
Actual location. The pink building adalah asrama puteri kitorang tapi dulu warnanya putih. Jalan kecil menuju ke tong sampah besar dan ada gelanggang bola tampar opposite asrama. Tapi dulu tak ada bangunan kat bahagian belakang itu. It was jalan mati yang end with tong sampah besar. Belakangnya was just rugged terrain yang menghijau leading to ladang kelapa sawit. 7. Kisah kelima adalah kisah yang diceritakan kepada aku oleh member UIA aku, Iza. Aku kekurangan idea (ada banyak cerita yang aku masih simpan just in case publisher mintak sequel), so aku sangat desperate untuk cerita orang lain dan dia beritahu aku pasal this one story tentang seorang budak perempuan dan tangga. It was a perfect story. And the part about lagu "Islam yang telah berkembang" tu daripada satu lagi kisah yang aku dengar dari senior aku. Bila bangunan asrama senyap, any sound will echo throughout the building. So if you sang the song dengan nada sayu, memang serius meremang bulu roma.

8. Cerita terakhir tu diambil from satu lagi cerita hantu yang aku pernah dengar. Kenapa aku letak cerita yang aku pernah dengar instead of things yang berlaku pada diri aku sendiri? Sebab: 1. I am keeping some of the stories for other time, 2. You have to exaggerate the stories. Sengeri mana pun benda yang anda pernah alami, it's not solid enough for a book. Seeing something moving in the dark is scary, but to make it scarier, you must enhance the setting. 
9. SBP asal-usulnya adalah cadangan filem yang aku hantar ke GBSB. Aku buat sebab masa tu langsung takde novel/filem seram kisah benar pasal asrama. I mean, ada la satu dua, but as someone yang pernah duduk dan alami sendiri few horror experience, it was not enough. It was not real enough. It was too fantastical and balik-balik citer hantu Jepun atau some sort of devil worshipping. I wanted to watch something that can make me say, "That happened in my hostel before!" but nothing like that ever came up, sedangkan BANYAK GILEEE urban legend that involves asrama. So aku decide untuk makde it myself. Tapi disebabkan pihak penerbit nak cerita hantu komedi ikut trend macam Hantu Rempit, while I, the writer who hates trend the most, refuse to do it, aku ubah jadi novel remaja instead. 
Untuk membeli SEKOLAH BANYAK PENUNGGU, sila dapatkan di ARRAZI. Setiap pembelian akan diberikan tandatangan dan ucapan khas dari saya (kalau nak. Kalau tak nak pun okey jerr, ai tak kisah punyerrrr :P)
**To check out previous trivias untuk buku-buku lain, click VALENTINA NERVOSA, AKU KAN NOVELIS, PLAIN JANE, dan SOALNYA HATI.

Dan kenapa aku tak suka berjaga malam...

Aku tak berjaga malam.

Maksud aku, aku dah lama tak berjaga malam. Kalau pun nak solat malam (ayat ni bukan ayat cam nak tunjuk alim, sebab God knows how many times niat solat malam dengan actual solat malam tu acually berlaku), usually aku tidur dan bangun semula. Aku tak biar diri sendiri berjaga malam dan tunggu waktunya.

Tapi in Ramadhan, it bound to happen. You can't really sleep. You toss and turn and cuss yourself for accidentally dozing off between Maghrib and Isyak, and cuss the delicious spaghetti meatball you had for iftar that made you sleepy in the first place. So finally you turn on your laptop and you wait.

You wait.

For what? For that one idea to pop up into your head.

Tapi usually you end up staring into nothingness, far beyond the pixels and the screen light that is not good for your eyes, and your mind goes elsewhere.

Then the idea comes. Like a distant voice. A memory. Slowly and quietly, and then turned into this whole visual in front of you. Not actually in front of you, but like it was in your eyes, in your mind's eyes.

Aku tak suka menulis pada waktu tengah malam. Semuanya rasa terlalu real. Menulis pada waktu malam terasa seolah-olah menulis dari memori sendiri rather than something you heard before or a projection of your mind. Words come swiftly. Emotion runs high. Thoughts process.

Menulis "Ilham Aziza" adalah mengingatkan aku tentang zaman persekolahan. Zaman persekolahan aku sangat idealistik. Sangat hitam dan putih. Ini halal dan ini haram. Ini pahala dan ini dosa. Tak sama macam UIA. UIA ajar aku grey area. Tak sama macam kerja di CO. Kerja di CO membuatkan aku terpaksa back to basics.

For those who never heard the story... "Ilham Aziza" merupakan karya yang aku tulis masa berumur 16 tahun. Masa tu SMKAKS punya peraturan sangat ketat to the extent that you can't bring novels in, especially time tu memang cerita semua spesis jiwang karat tahap ajar orang kahwin lari punya level. So you survive with your own entertainment.

"Ilham Aziza" was the entertainment for my friends. It was a love story yang semua orang tahu just dengan baca tajuknya. Tapi Ilham Aziza berakarkan SMKA. Watak Ilham dan Aziza adalah perjalanan hidup aku sebagai budak sekolah agama, yang masuk Universiti Islam dan kemudiannya terperangkap dalam dunia pekerjaan di mana apa yang aku belajar tak penting, tapi apa yang aku dapat dari semua ilmu tu akan jadi taruhannya.

Aku selalu cakap, SMKAKS is the closest to my heart. I spent five years away from home during the most important years of my life dan habiskan di sana. Walaupun ibu bapa aku yang sediakan acuan aku, UIA yang mewarnakan aku dan CO yang membakar aku (to a point kengkadang jadi hangit), SMKAKS yang mould aku. Jadi bila aku kata karya baru aku adalah tribute aku kepada kehidupan di SMKA, it means that it's my heart and soul.

My heart and soul yang dikejutkan dengan suara bacaan Quran, yang menyarung seragam sekolah dengan tudung labuh, anak tudung, setokin, baju dalam, kain dalam, pin peniti, kad matrik, nametag. Yang belajar Bahasa Arab dan Al-Quran & Sunnah, Syariah. Yang solat berjemaah dan pengisian kuliyah maghrib. Yang boleh berdiri depan orang ramai dan bagi tazkirah selama lima minit dengan yakin. Yang hafal Surah Al-Mulk dan ada dalil dalam percakapan. Hati dan jiwa yang tidak tercemar dengan realiti kehidupan.

Aku tak suka berjaga malam.

Berjaga malam buat aku mengenang zaman silam.  

Signing Session

See you there ^^