S.M. Carrière's Blog, page 3

OMFG I AM SO FAR BEHIND!

Good afternoon, Readers! Image by Nicky ❤️🌿🐞🌿❤️ from Pixabay Okay, bear with me, I have a lot of catching up to do.

First, this blog post, which was supposed to be written Friday evening, but I could not, because an unexpected dinner with family came up. We watched a movie called Stillwater, which was very loosely based on the story of Amanda Knox, who was accused of and sentenced for murder while studying overseas. It was a pretty good movie.

Saturday was also a bust, as I was at training all morning and into the afternoon, and then with friends for the evening (hey, friends! We slew). I thought I'd have Sunday evening to do it, but no dice. Sunday morning was spent with family. I had breakfast with my dad, and then we dragged a futon up the four floors to my apartment. I now have a couch. It isn't exactly my style, but it is functional and now my living room looks a little more like a living room, instead of the worst possible bachelor pad. Prior to this, I literally had just a reclining chair in front of the telly. Like all those memes that talk about how people don't understand how men could live like that. Ahem. Listen fellas, I understand.

Anyway, now I have a couch that serves also as a bed if ever someone wants to stay over. I'm going to buy a cover for it, because it's black and boring... and vinyl. But for now, I have a couch. All I need now is a coffee table, and I'll be living like an adult. Sort of.

How is it that I'm so old and still so frikkin' untethered?

Anyway, that evening I was back at Dad's for another dinner I didn't plan on.

Don't get me wrong, it was awesome, but there is so much I wanted to get done this weekend that I just didn't have time for. This blog post, for one.

But also, the blog post that I'm scheduled to have written for Black Gate Magazine to go live tomorrow. 

And also, catching up on the 1000 words I should have written on Friday, but couldn't get done because my lunch hour was spent with my coworkers for a luncheon to say goodbye to our receptionist.

And also my newsletter, which should have gone out to everyone on Friday, but again... I couldn't get it written before the day was out.

I have to do all these things before I go to bed this evening.

First up will be the Black Gate Magazine post. Then the newsletter. Then the extra 1000 words I need to get written to start the week off right. Gah!

Well, there's no use in complaining. I just need to get it done. Wish me luck, friends!

I hope you're all doing well.

​Ciao!

Baby Steps

Good afternoon, Readers! Image by Kanenori from Pixabay This post isn't about writing.

My long, long mission to get myself together has proven to be longer and far more difficult than I had imagined. I find I'm struggling a little bit. I'm trying to be gentle with myself, but it's not easy.

Changes I'm trying to make include trying to heal my relationship with food. I've been chubby since it mattered (puberty wasn't all that kind to me), and I've been trying to rectify that for a long while. At first, I made the mistake of cutting so many calories that I was essentially on a starvation diet (hovering around 900 calories a day). All this did was screw up my metabolism, and cause binge-eating episodes. I didn't gain an awful lot of weight, but I didn't lose any, either.

A few years ago, after years and years of frustration and more thorough research, I realised I had made a terrible mistake. Were you aware that 1200 calories is the amount of food that toddlers are supposed to eat? An adult person should be eating around 2000 calories in order to sustain themselves. So, I set about rectifying that; trying to increase the amount of food I'm eating in a healthy way.

I didn't lose any chub, but I did find that there was a great increase in my energy levels (not enough to replace my ever-present fatigue) and an improved performance in my physical endeavours. So, that was a bonus.

I started walking to and from work (roughly 50 minutes each way, if I'm being a bit lazy). I've been doing it for a few months now. It hasn't helped.

Last week, I started doing yoga before bed. It's nothing that gets me sweaty, and I'm focussing on a routine that concentrates on my lower body in an effort to reduce my back pain, and get my hips and back of my legs feeling looser. I'm not expecting this to help with my weightloss, but I am hoping it'll help with my backpain and bring down my stress, which will help my sleep.

I'm trying to up my protein intake, because I'm told it helps women in particular. I'm finding this difficult, but I'm trialling a food-delivery company that has a high-protein menu. I figure if I can see what a high-protein meal looks like, I can do better at preparing my own when I cancel my meal subscription (which I will, because it's expensive AF).

I still train martial arts three times a week - personal training twice, and teaching once.

None of this is making a difference, really. In fact, the opposite seems to be happening. I tried putting on my jeans a couple of nights ago, and... well... it was a struggle.

I don't know what else to do, really. Once my nightly yoga becomes routine, instead of something I have to consciously force, I'm going to try and add a couple of weight sessions a week. I like feeling strong, I'd like to one day look strong.

But my physicality is only one thing I'm trying to work on. I'm trying to fill my life with things that bring me joy - playing music, painting, leathercraft... But this is also proving stupidly difficult. You see, I work full time, as well as teach on the weekends, while I'm also trying to make a real go of my writing. Then there's a bunch of other things I'm doing to help with Renaissance Press... 

There's not enough time in the day. And when I at last return home from the job that actually pays my bills, I'm too exhausted to do the things that light up my soul. I'm lucky if I can even do the things I need to do to keep the house. All I can do I just about lie comatose on my chair and cuddle the cat. It's frustrating, and crushing. Not the cuddling part. I quite enjoy cuddling the cat. But the rest of it is.

I just want to be able to spent a couple of minutes playing my guitar. I want to stand for a couple of hours at my drafting table or easel. Or have more than fifteen minutes during a too-short lunch hour to get in as many words on a book as I can. But I'm just too wiped out by the things I have to do, that I can never do the things I want to.

To be honest, I'm feeling kind of defeated today. I will probably feel a bit better tomorrow. In fact, I know that I will be feeling much better tomorrow. But today, I'm looking ahead and it's looking pretty grey. But baby steps. Incremental additions until they become habit and they don't take as much energy to get done. That's how I plan on creating the life I want.

I'll get there. I just needed to vent today.

Thanks for listening.

​Ciao.

My Saturday: A Photo Essay

Good afternoon, Readers!

This weekend was extremely busy... Well, busy for me and my homebody butt. Saturday was especially so, as I taught for four hours, then went out to see my father's play (he's very involved with a local amateur theatre group). But it was also a very happy day. Let me show you what I mean:
I started the day with a long, long snuggle with my cat. He's a lovely boy, and I adore spending time with him sleeping on my lap. It makes for tricky writing, but brilliant reading, so there's that. The only downside was having to wake him up so I could get ready to go to training. He's so stinking cute.

Saturday at training was brilliant for one reason alone. Ready?
We got heavy bag brackets in our room!

I'm not sure when they were put up, but I only noticed them this weekend. With access to the storeroom, in which the heavy bags - ancient and unused for more years than I can count - were stored, I did the only logical thing I could do. I grabbed one, hauled it into the room and set it up.

I was, for no reason in particular, really early on Saturday, so I was able to go a few rounds with the bag before class began. It felt so, so good to be striking a heavy bag again! It had been far too long. Now, the bracket, I found out after three rounds, is not the best. The nut came undone and the bag dropped, so I had to haul it back up again. Listen, the bag was heavy, and doing it alone was not easy, but I problem-solved and got 'er done enough to go one last round before class.

Now, the bag I found was an old-school canvas bag, and I was punching without my gloves on (only wraps). What you quickly learn from that is if the strike isn't true, you will lose some skin. And I did. Warning - badly taken photos of missing skin incoming: If you don't hold your hands properly, you too can have a heavy bag tear out a chunk of skin from a knuckle that has no business being anywhere near the bag... A free-swinging heavy bag is excellent for training timing and adjustment. A free-swinging canvas heavy bag is murder on your skin if you happen to slightly miss-time a strike. That knuckle bled on the bag a little bit (not much, though). It was surprisingly easy to clean off the canvas. I was worried there would be little marks left behind. The trick, I think, was to not let the blood dry. Also, it's my fault there was blood on the bag to begin with; I wasn't holding my hands correctly, and when the tear happened, I didn't immediately stop, but continued striking because I was having too much fun to let a little injury hold me back.

It's less fun now that it's healing. Two days in and it's quite painful to move (though thanks be to Polysporan for their pain-killing ingredients in their anti-bacterial paste).

Not expecting access to this fantastic training tool before Saturday, I quickly shifted my plans for the day's training to include some time for my students at the heavy bag. I'm a little worried that it isn't bolted well enough into the wall, but I'm really glad it's there at the moment. It's going to be great if we still have access to it for the remainder of the training session.

I've really missed going toe to toe with a heavy bag. It's been years since I've been able to. I sorely wish I had my own space where I could set one up and train in my own time. Alas, I'm renting, so I can't do that. But I'm still holding out hope, thin as it is, that I might be able to own a home one day, and have a space just for me and my martial arts training. It's a distant kind of hope. The way things are in the world now, my ability to afford a home is non-existent. But a girl can dream!

That evening was a night of dinner theatre, and then I returned home and got this: Until bedtime.

So, thanks to a simple training tool, I had just about the best Saturday I've had in a long time! It was really nice.

I really hope we get to play with the heavy bags more in the coming weeks!

Welp, I have things to do today, so I'm off. Have yourselves a lovely week.

​Ciao!

It's So Damned Silly

Good afternoon, Readers! ​Image by Siggy Nowak from Pixabay I am currently dragging myself through the last six or so chapters of editing The New Haven Incident. It's a slog, I'm not going to lie. There's a lot of work to do. My first drafts are always such a mess. Anyway, that's not the point.

The point is, despite all the work I have to do with this manuscript, I'm having a blast going back through this story. The premise is so silly. Almost stupid. Basically, what if a Zombie-type virus made people into hyper-aggressive, mindless human-sized fairies instead of hyper-aggressive, mindless undead?

It's so dumb.

But the characters in it don't know that, and they're really carrying the story. I love them. I love them, and despite the work and how stupid the story is if you stop to think about it, I love this story. I'm so damned excited to start sharing it with you.

Soon!

Sort of. Once I've finished editing this version, I have to send it off to Beta Reader two, do the whole thing again, then send it to Beta Reader three, and do it one more time before I can start uploading it for you to read. But I'm really looking forward to your reactions once it starts going live.

I'll be very sad if it flops entirely. Let's not think about it.

Okay, I have more blog posts to write, so I'll be off for now.

​Ciao!

Mark Your Calendars!

Good evening, Readers! Image by Dorothe from Pixabay I am very late to writing this. I had intended to get this done on my lunch hour, but alas, I was forced to head out of the office in search of food today, so there wasn’t time to eat and write at lunch today. Still, I’m here and writing this. Technically, it’s still Monday, so I’m not technically late.

Okay, so there are a couple on announcements I’m dying to make, but can only do one today, because I completely forgot about the other one when it came time to send out the newsletter, and I want those folks to hear it first… though I imagine it’s fairly common knowledge since it’s been announced. But I’ll save it for December’s newsletter all the same.

I’ll stop being vague now and make the damned announcment!

​Right, so, I’m going to be a Guest of Honour!

But Sonia, you aren’t famous enough to be a GoH anywhere. Hush, you. I know. But I was asked all the same, and said yes, because the whole thing looks like fun.

What is it? Well, it’s called Quadcon. It was begun by the folks who started CanCon, and it’s going to be a single day of geeky goodness. Since I write SFF, game and do martial arts, this is right up my alley. I’m not sure what to expect, since I’ve never actually been to a Quadcon, nor have I ever been a guest of honour anywhere. So… This will be an interesting day for me! Something new, yay!

I’m a bit nervous about it. I feel like I’m an absolutely no one, and certainly not a big enough name to be any kind of draw for folks, but I’m looking forward to it all the same. It’s happening in February here in Ottawa. The details, such as they are, are below: Save the date! I’d love to see you there.

I promise I’ll give more details as I learn them.

Right, I have a lot of stuff to be getting on with, so I have to go.

Ciao!

PS - I’m still hoping to grow my grove for my birthday month. You can do so by  buying a copy of Daughters of Britain  or  buying a tree directly .

Help Me Celebrate

Good morning, Readers! I know what you're thinking. Sonia, it's Wednesday. Why on earth are you putting up a blog post today? You've already posted one for the week!

Yes, true. But November is a special month, and I wanted to jump in on the first for it. Why?

Well, it's my birthday this month!

Now, I'm fully grown and have a job and stuff. And since I'm all grown up and can make my own money, I don't really want birthday presents. I mean, you can get me a PS5 if you want, but I'd prefer you didn't.

Instead, as with last year, I'd love for you to help me make a difference in the world. I'd like to leave the world a little better than I left it. So, like last year, I would absolutely love it if you could buy a tree for my grove; my way of trying to help fix a punished earth and thanking Caledonia for the exceptional setting in the book I published two years ago - Daughters of Britain.

There are two ways you can help.

First, you could buy a copy of Daughters of Britain. Half of all royalties from the sale of the book will be going to expanding my grove. And this is all year, every year. As an added bonus, you get a (granted, in my biased opinion) great book to read and own. If that appeals, you can go  here  for all the various purchase links.

OR

You can purchase a tree for planting directly to my grove. Bonus for doing it this way is that you get the instant gratification of seeing the number of trees tick up immediately instead of having to wait for the royalties to be calculated and equal enough funds to actually buy a tree or two. And it's cheaper than a physical copy of the book, so there's that! If you want to, you can do that  here .

Please know that none of this is obligatory. You don't have to do anything if you don't want to. It's just if you would like to celebrate my birthday and, frustrated by my own desire to hide from the world on this day, would like to get me something.
My Own Contribution In an effort to keep this as transparent as possible, my own contribution from royalties from 2021-2022 are as follows:

Total royalties from sales of Daughters of Britain: CAD $36.41
Amount available for donation (1/2 of royalties): CAD $18.21
Conversion to British Pounds Sterling: £10.82
At £6.00 per tree, number of trees planted: 1.

This leaves £4.82 left over, which I've opted to make as a general donation to Trees for Life, rather than carry over into the next period... because I will forget it exists, especially since Daughters of Britain is an older title, and not really being sold in bookshops, and it will probably take a while before I have enough to donate for another tree again.

Okay, that's more than enough for a mid-week blog post. I'll let you get back to real life.

Remember, you're not obligated to do anything at all! It's just a nice option if you want to do something.

Ciao!

This is No War

Good morning, Readers.

​I have nothing to say today, save this:
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​Ciao.

What is an ARC Reader?

Good morning! Image by Pexels from Pixabay So I’m on TikTok… I’m not doing it well. Mostly I just watch videos and only occasionally upload… and most of those are silly filter things. The algorithm has also decided that I’m in desperate need of thirst traps of the digital kind. My FYP is filled with edits of blokes from video games, which… I mean… they are very pretty. But I don’t think I’ve done much to encourage the algorithm in this regard, but here we are.

I’m also on BookTok, that very powerful side of TikTok that can make or break a writing career. There is currently some discussion (and some argument) about ARC readers and what is happening with them; what they are responsible for and what to make of it if they don’t do the expected.

As someone who is dipping their toes back into self-publishing for at least one story, I’m really interested in this debate. I had not used ARC readers before, and I’m wondering if I should for any future releases I may do. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s step back a step or two.

What is an ARC and what are ARC readers?

An ARC is simply an “advanced reader copy.” Basically, it’s an early, almost-ready to publish version of the book that is sent out to folks (ARC readers) before the book is published in the hopes of generating some buzz about the book. From what I can gather, the hope is the ARC reader will post a review or otherwise talk about the book which will ultimately help get some soft marketing done, which will eventually boost sales, or that is the hope.

Now, this can be invaluable, especially for indie writers, who cannot afford the same insane marketing tricks as larger publishing houses. It’s a relationship built on trust; trust the author places on the ARC reader to read the book, and talk about it, the trust the reader places on the writer to respect their time, opinions and autonomy.

There was a writer on BookTok who was complaining that ARC readers, as a whole, were terrible book thieves, essentially, signing up to be ARC readers just to get free books and not upholding their end of the bargain by talking about said books.

Now, I can see both sides of this argument. It can feel incredibly frustrating for an author to send out ARCs and be met with silence (I can absolutely imagine), and it feels like huge risk for these writers, who might potentially be sending out hundreds of ARCs. For people like me, who don’t make a tonne of sales, that can feel like you’re giving away all the potential sales. Only to have none of it pay off.

I get it.

But I can also see the other side. ARC readers are usually in it for the love of books, I think, not to just get a bunch of free books. But they’re also human beings with a life, and life can get in the way sometimes. We all know that. Perhaps they haven’t offered up a review because they have a lot of books to read, and haven’t gotten to yours in particular yet. Perhaps they’re experiencing an over abundance of ‘life’ things and haven’t picked up a book in ages. Or, maybe, they really didn’t like the book, and they’re just keeping mum about it out of respect of the author.

ARC readers are not always going to be able to put up a review. And, in truth, do they have to?

I’m very curious about how other folks feel, because I honestly thought that the was the deal on the surface of it. Reader gets copy of the book before it’s published in exchange for a review or otherwise talking about said book. But sometimes life gets in the way, and they can’t get the review up in a timely manner… or at all. I don’t know. I’m not sure.

What do you think? If you’re an ARC reader, or ever had been, what does it mean to you? I need to know! Right, I’m off to get other things done.

​Ciao!

I’m Alive (Barely)!

Good afternoon, Readers! Image by Jürgen from Pixabay Well… this blog post was supposed to be written and live this morning, but I got up to make myself breakfast, sat down to eat breakfast, ate it, got up, and was suddenly too exhausted to do much of anything. I’ve just woken up from the resulting nap.

Post-Con fatigue is very real.

Particularly for this hardcore introvert.

It’s not that I don’t absolutely love Can*Con, or everyone who shows up to the event. I very much do. I’ve really missed everyone. It was so great catching up with familiar people and meeting new ones. But being there with the number of people and level of noise takes a lot of focus and energy bandwidth that is thoroughly depleting. It’s so hard to explain without it sounding like I’m complaining! I’m not complaining, I promise! I had a brilliant time.

Friday was great. I arrived early as my ride (thanks, Dad!) had to spend the day prepping for a dinner, and I was more than okay with taking the day to wander around downtown Ottawa in the cold. I set up - not the first despite being there so very early - and then fetched myself some breakfast. I sat down to write my morning pages (more on that in a later post, I think), and relaxed before heading back to the hotel to write the blog post that was supposed to have gone up Monday. I did more wandering, before heading to Kyoto Sushi on Bank St, where it has become my tradition to stop in for lunch on the Friday of Can*Con. I returned a little early in search of more caffeine, which was free (lovingly provided by JenEric Coffee) in the Con Suite.

I was a little early - the suite hadn’t opened yet, so I helped set things up before getting my brew and heading down again.

It was great coffee.

Then, suddenly, it was time. The convention began, and I was behind my table, caffeinated and ready. It was a blast, and too soon I was off for my first panel of the weekend - Creating a Chivalric Order. It was a blast. I was in a goofy mood, and I think it showed. Not sure I was interesting or intelligent, but I had fun.

Saturday was great. I spent the morning and the early afternoon teaching martial arts, as is my usual Saturday. Then I raced to the convention with the help of one of my students (thank you, Kaylee!) and made it just in time for my hour of the Renaissance 10th anniversary party, book launch and major announcement. I’ll talk more on that major announcement in a later post. Then the rest of the afternoon was spent behind the table, before heading up for the launch of Marie Bilodeau’s latest book. It sounds amazing, by the by. Get ye a copy of Oath Breaker! By then, however, I was utterly spent. I dashed home as soon as I was able. I wish I had the energy to stay longer, but I just couldn’t.

Despite having slept long and well, I was totally out of it on Sunday. I stayed behind my table, trying very hard to focus, but couldn’t. I spent a lot of the time away with the fairies, as my grandmother would say. I jumped on a panel in the afternoon - Serious Fighting. I wasn’t originally scheduled for that panel, but one of the panellists had to leave early so I filled in. It was a great panel. Fonda Lee was an absolute font of writing wisdom and also a lovely person. I would have loved to stay and chat martial arts with her more, but she is a busy woman in high demand, so I opted to return to my table where I spaced out for the last 30 minutes of the con.

Then it was home, given a ride by Nathan (thanks, Nathan!), I hauled my nonsense up the four flights of stairs to my apartment, ordered some dinner because I was too exhausted to cook, cuddled my cat, and slept like the dead.

As always, Can*Con was a wonderful event filled with wonderful people. I cannot recommend this convention enough. And, this year was particularly exciting because I have not one, but two announcements to make, but those will have to happen later. I’m tired again, and have to go grocery shopping or there’ll be nothing to eat this week.

​Ciao!

It’s Can*Con (& This Post is Late)

Good morning, Readers! Image by Kang-Rui LENG from Pixabay I did mean to write and publish this post a lot sooner than I am. I am actually writing this in the lobby of the Sheraton Hotel in downtown Ottawa, as today is the day that Can*Con (only the best SFF convention ever) begins.

I was in very early this morning to set up my table. Then I went for a walk and found myself come breakfast. The Tim Horton’s I usually frequent at this convention (by virtue of it being the only one open nearby the hotel during the weekend (yes, in downtown Ottawa. This city runs a bit… different…) is currently closed for renovations. I don’t know what I’m going to do for Sunday. Go for a long walk, I guess. Maybe stop by the Timmy’s on Montreal Road before heading in. Anyway, that’s neither here not there. What was I on about?

Oh yes.

Can*Con starts today. If you get the chance, I highly recommend this convention. I’ve been going to it for some time now. I started when I was a wee little baby writer and had one book to my name - The Dying God & Other Stories - and a bunch of art prints from the book. That’s all I had. And now I have many books, and lots of different art, and some leather stuff… It doesn’t feel like it sometimes, but looking back, I’ve come a long way.

When I was a little baby writer, with just one book and a few art prints, I was never made to feel small or lesser by any of the organisers at Can*Con. Some of the other participants some of the time, but never the organisers. In fact, they went out of their way to be welcoming and kind. And, to be honest, very few of the participants were rude or elitist. Just one that sticks out and even then, it’s entirely un-noteworthy. It’s just my imposter syndrome searing it into my head.

Speaking of imposter syndrome, it’s rearing its ugly head, as it usually does, today. I am not as together this year as I’d like to be. I’m missing stock of my self-published books. I don’t have the original paintings done that I wanted to, I ran out of my business cards, I don’t have half the leather goods done that I wanted to have done… in fact, I have none at all (of the ones I wanted done by this weekend. I do have some leather stuff out there).

But my table isn’t bare, so there’s that.

I’ll just have to get it together for next year. I think it can be managed if I just work at it. Small, actionable steps. That way I won’t be overwhelmed, what with the working of two jobs and trying to get this writing career off the ground… though I have serious doubts it will ever draw any serious income for me. I’ve been at it a while to no avail.

Still gonna try, though. Because humans, if nothing else, are peculiarly persistent things. We’re the cockroaches of the mammalian world.

I am actually excited to be back at Can*Con and with my people. Even if I make no sales, I’m amongst some of the best people in the world, and I’m really excited. I think, though, I’ll stop by somewhere for a long nap before we start the day in earnest.

Hope to see you there, and if not, perhaps see you sometime soon.

Ciao!

PS - an art piece of mine is being auctioned off in a fundraiser for the convention - the funds to be put wherever it will do the most good (did you know they have a pay-it-forward scheme? You can donate for a ticket for someone who otherwise couldn’t afford it). Here’s the piece (in poor light, but still): Not going to lie, I’m a little proud of this one.

Alright, now ciao for real this time.

​Ciao!