Judith L. Pearson's Blog, page 12

What’s the Next Step?

There has been a great deal of news over the last 4 weeks about the Invisible Children video, “Kony 2012.”  At first the news was all good, a true social media success story.  A group of 30-somethings had put together an organization aimed at drawing attention to the drafting of Ugandan children into ugly, genocidal armies.  They made a video.  The video went viral.  Viewed 106 million times.  That’s the good news.

Then the organizations finances come into question, capped off by some pretty unusual behavior on the part of one of the founders.  That’s the bad news.

And I hate that there’s bad news associated with trying to make a difference in millions of young lives. I hate that funds donated for such a good cause may be misappropriated. Politicians, journalists, and yes, bloggers, are all making their voices heard.  But I think many are missing the point.  What’s important is NOT so much how this horrific scenario is stopped, but THAT IT IS STOPPED!

I also think a huge piece of the puzzle was revealed last fall’s in the fabulous PBS series, Women, War and Peace.  If you haven’t, check it out.  Change will occur much more easily and rapidly when women are involved and education becomes the primary weapon.  What do you think?

 

Dessert First

For some, life’s trials are kept private.  For others of us, strength is drawn from telling our stories.  And if another human being can learn from our journey, all the better.  It is for that reason that I wrote It’s Just Hair.

I can’t speak for Nancy Borowick’s private motivation for her photo project, entitled “Dessert First,” which you can view here.  It was a solution to two issues for her: to complete her work as a student at the International Center of Photography and to spend time with her mother, facing a second go-around with cancer.

Her motivation isn’t what’s important. The beautiful photo essay that is the result of her work speaks volumes, both to those of us who’ve walked that trail, as well as to those who have witnessed it from afar.

Seeing what cancer treatment is, how it affects family members, and understanding it is a means to an end, gives strength to those who are newly diagnosed as well as those who are cancer veterans.  I thank the Borowicks for giving us this glimpse into their lives.

Beautiful? Courageous? You bet!

What would you think if  television and magazine reports made in-your-face comments about the fact that I have one real breast and a reconstructed one?  A pretty atrocious thought, right?  In the nearly one year since my mastectomy I assure your NO ONE has done that, nor do I suspect they will.  Why, then, do we think it’s okay to make atrocious comments about female public figures with regard to their appearance?

It has been one week since Ashley Judd addressed the vicious attacks on her appearance. I have always like Ms. Judd’s skills on the camera.  I think she is beautiful – the skin-deep kind that doesn’t need make up, fancy up-do’s, or designer labels.  But I think now she is one of the MOST beautiful women in America.  And one of the most courageous.  Her voice has been heard above the clamor: who decides what’s beautiful and who gets to judge others’ beauty?

Remember the presidential campaign of 2008?  No one ever made mention of Bill Clinton’s thighs when he ran for president in the 90′s.  Yet his wife’s thighs were a topic of conversation for months.  Here we are, four years later, still holding an obsession about public women’s appearances.  It’s not only damaging to the women of today, it is having a disastrous affect on the girls following us.  I know it’s not new.  In many societies, it is the women who go out of their way (sometimes dangerously so) to adorn themselves in the name of beauty.  But I’ve had enough!

Anna Holmes, a journalist for the Washington Post wrote,”Rapid-fire, image-based appraisals of women’s worth — what I call ‘objectify first, ask questions later’ — have become so commonplace that they are less exception than rule. Perhaps even more troubling, the instigators of such discussions seem either unaware or heedless that such assessments have real psychic consequences.”

These consequences damage on all levels, from women in their 90′s, whose inner beauty far surpasses any outer beauty, to young girls who look at the years ahead and already feel insignificant because they’re “not pretty enough.”  While we fight the wars against terror and drugs and cancer, could we please fight a war against irrational criticism of women’s appearances too?

Where do we start?  What do you think?  Things get started because of the power of one baby.  And Ashely Judd just became that one.

It’s Just Hair

 

Our Christmas in Britain produced more than just new Christmas toys and a few extra pounds.  Inspired by all that had happened to our family in 2011, it produced the idea for a new book as well.

It’s Just Hair: 20 Essential Life Lessons will be available on Amazon.com and at other book retailers March 15, 2012.  It is not a book about cancer.  Rather, it’s a collection of 20 lessons that apply to any life challenge.

Stay tuned for excerpts and news about book signings in your city!

Christmas from Kandahar

The dropping needles are far more noticable when there are no packages under the tree.  The scene can only mean one thing – Christmas has come and gone.  In one sense, it was my best Christmas ever as there were a couple of moments back in April when I wondered whether I would live to see it (totally irrational, I now realize).  In another sense, it was an odd Christmas, since my eldest son was a part of the celebration in voice only via the computer.

Serving a 6 month deployment in Afghanistan, this son, husband and daddy sent wonderful handcrafted gifts.  We would have exchanged them, and all the others we received, to have him home.  But we are so proud of the courageous sacrifice he, and his family, are making.

Among the gifts were scarves my son purchased from a very special shop called Kandahar Treasure.  Launched by Ragina Hamidi in 2003, the business employs women artisans from the Kandahar area who make home decor items, clothing, accessories and more.  The scarves we received are embroidered with the unique stitchery of this region.

Even more importantly, purchases from Kandahar Treasure supports an organization whose purpose is to develop an economic base for the province and support the advancement of women throughout Afghanistan.  Afghanis say, “A woman is the light of the family.”  But they are also the light of their society, and Ragina Hamidi’s vision has supported this thought.  This, despite the fact that she’s lived through decades of war and internal strife, and saw her father, Kandahar’s mayor, assassinated in July.  Read more about this woman of courage.

To Love a Soldier

Everyday there are stories in the media about our troops in Iraq and Afghanistan.  Our thoughts focus on them and what they’re experiencing.  But we seldom look beyond the camo to consider the spouses and families back home, waiting with pride and trepidation.

My daughter-in-law and grandchildren fit into that group.  And it was my daughter-in-law who stumbled upon the blog entitled “To Love a Soldier.” It is the very creative work of the wife on a soldier, now living through her husband’s second deployment.

Reading through the posts is very moving, but just as moving are the responses of all those who, like my daughter-in-law, have found strength in the knowledge that they’re not alone in their feelings, frustrations and longings.  They are a very courageous group who deserve our attention and prayers.  Regardless of where their loved ones are serving, let’s celebrate their courage by thanking them for their service as well.

Ice

I had a 2001 Toyota Tundra pick up.  She was black.  She was slick.  Her name was Eleanor.

I owned Eleanor 5 years before I made my December 2008 cross country move to Michigan.  In all that time she had been on lots of trips throughout the southwest, but never into weather below freezing.  So imagine my surprise when I hit the 32 degree mark (somewhere in Missouri), looked in my rear view mirror, and saw the word “Ice” glowing from the corner.  It was a feature of the truck I didn’t know existed – that of notifying the driver that it was bloody cold outside – as Eleanor and I had never been in below freezing temps together.

Hmmm … what interesting features are lurking around our chassies … things we’re totally unaware of until occasions arise that draw them forth?  True, some may be qualities we’d prefer not to recognize, but like Eleanor, I’ll be you’ve got some goodies that would surprise and delight you!

My Eleanor is gone now.  But I don’t think the lessons she taught me will never go out of warranty.

A New Beginning

I am, as I write this, receiving my last chemo treatment.  And I am amazed at the person I am today as compared to who I was exactly 7 months ago.  I am certainly more versed on all things breast cancer and have met unbelievable care givers (that’s Sailor, my chemo nurse, in the photo below).  But there’s so much more.

I look around me at least once a day and think how glad I am to be alive.  Without sounding like the proverbial Pollyanna, I love the rain and the sun.  I love the hot and the cold.  I love the flowers and the brightly colored leaves. The seasonal changes I have witnessed through this saga have mirrored the wisdom I’ve gained, taking me from a spring neophyte to an autumal wise woman.

I am incredibly greatful that my body was so strong at my diagnosis.  It carried me down this road with ease (making thousands of crunches and very few french fries worth it!).

I have been humbled by the flowers, cards, calls, love and prayers I’ve received.  Makes me realize that when others are cheering for you, you really do succeed more easily.

I am convinced this saga has strengthened the love my husband and I have for one another.  While some might have felt pity for him being forced into a drama he hadn’t signed up for, it has allowed my extended family to view first hand how deep his love is for me.

I am once again moved by the love of my children (both the biological and those I’m newly-blessed with), who lifted my spirits with visits, phone calls, flowers and lots of laughter.

Finally, and maybe most poignantly, I am greatful for having had the opportunity to face this kind of adversity.  It’s easy for us to look at those who suffer and mumble (with good intention), “I understand.”  I really DO get it now.  I have seen those far sicker than I am, and believe with all my heart there is purpose to everything, even cancer.

The take away lessons: never forget your blessings, never give up without a fight, never forgo holding out a hand to those less fortunate.  And as an experience such as this teaches, there are always those whose life is less fortunate than yours.

It’s October 31, and we all know what that means ….

Yes, it’s Halloween.  But it’s also the last day of National Breast Cancer Awareness Month.  And it’s probably the most important day of the whole month.  From October 1 – 30, every media outlet, store front, and sports team lives and breathes the breast cancer theme.  But come today, October 31, the holiday season kicks in and we forget about the previous 30 day barage of information.

There is a group of courageous women in Gilbert, AZ, however, who aim to make that story have a different ending.  The Gilbert High School cheerleaders are raising money for breast cancer research by selling tee-shirts with the slogan, “Feel for lumps; save your bumps.”  Thus far, they have collected more than $5,000.  Sadly, the story is not yet heading toward happily ever after.

Members of the school administration feel the shirts are in poor taste.  Some in the community agree, including the president of Family Watch, who stated that the slogan “is unacceptably suggestive.”  The goal of Family Watch is “to protect the institution of family as the fundamental unit of society.”

So I guess we protect the family by ignoring that mothers are women … with breasts … that sometimes harbor cancerous cells.  Now if I hadn’t felt for lumps 7 months ago, I’d be in a very different spot right now.  Probably not dead yet, but with a very poor pronosis.

I did my part – I bought a $15 tee shirt and plan to wear it a lot to remind women (and the men who love them) that breast cancer awareness isn’t just a month.  I challenge you to do the same.  Read more about the cheerleaders and their very courageous booster club president at http://yourlife.usatoday.com/health/medical/breastcancer/story/2011-10-26/Ariz-cheerleaders-breast-cancer-T-shirt-splits-community/50927602/1.

Women are the Key

The African continent has 24 of the world’s 25 poorest countries.  It is home to 75% of the world’s poor.  The continent’s recent history is riddled  with stories of mass rapes, civil wars and genocides.  And yet miracles of women’s courage are happening there. 

I am in San Francisco, having just attended the annual conference of Opportunity International. This 40 year old, non-profit organization has pioneered new concepts in microloans (business loans averaging $145).   And from Uganda to Malawi, Tanzania to Mozambique, Kenya to the Democratic Republic of Congo, more than 80% of Opportunity’s loan clients are women.  They start or build businesses with their loans.  They use their earnings to feed and educate their children.  They are changing their communities and they are breaking the chain of generations of poverty.

Most amazingly, these women are using decidedly feminine characteristics of courage – collaboration, inclusion, altruism – in the face of overwhelming odds.  More stories to come, more info about Opportunity International at http://www.opportunity.org