Ethan Stone's Blog, page 10
July 14, 2012
Going Home, Part 1
Hello all my beautiful peeps! I’ve been shirking my blogging duties. (Shocker! I know!) But I promised I would write about my trip to Oregon.
For those of you who don’t know, I recently made a trip to Oregon for my 20 year high school reunion. Yeah, that’s right 20 years. But I’m only 29 so I must’ve graduated very young. Yeah, that’s it. Very, very young. 
I graduated in a town called Dallas and also lived in nearby Salem. Salem is where my dad and one brother live and another brother lives in Washington. It was nice to see family for 
sure, but I had an awesome time, which is illustrated in this pic. Yes, I was a teeny, tiny bit drunk. Just drunk enough to have a very hard time making the peace sign.
That was the first night in Oregon where a group of us had a tour of our high school, which was renovated a few years after we graduated, then ate dinner at a local pizza joint followed by several hours at the bar.
Just talking and spending time with old friends was a ton of fun, but it was also cool to mix and mingle with the people who were in different cliques back then. I was very happy to see that, for the most part, the old clique’s didn’t hold up.
There were a few guys who still captured the attention of every female in the place. (For those of you who were there, think Damon Suede at GRL last in New Orleans.) I wasn’t one of those guys, but I was fine with trying to get the attention of the males, even though I had no idea who might or might not be receptive to my advances.
I didn’t have any luck with the guys that night, but I had a couple other cool things happen to me.
I’d been talking to one high school buddy for several months before the reunion and he knew I was gay, as did a few other people. With the handful of people who knew there wasn’t any negativity so I decided to step out of the closet a little more.
I decided to tell a female friend who I had always been close with, but I wasn’t sure how to tell her. We had just pulled up to the bar and were in the parking lot and I told her I had something to tell her. And then I just said it, no warm up or preamble, just “I’m gay.”
She was obviously shocked and I could tell she wasn’t sure what to say. Which is why I forgave her for what she did say. “It’s okay. I love you anyway.” She apologized later and said it came out differently than how she meant it. She said she didn’t care one way or another and it didn’t affect our friendship at all.
While I was sitting there getting (a little) drunk, a friend, who knows I’m gay, pointed out a bottle of A1 Steak Sauce which offered the chance to have your face on a bottle. I thought it would be awesome to have my face on a bottle of meat sauce. A few minutes later, someone came by and we pointed out the bottle.
Now, this was a girl I’ve known since grade school. Not someone I was ever real good friends with, but she was always nice and sweet and down-to-earth. So I explained the joke behind the joke about having a gay guy’s face on a bottle of meat sauce. And what she did and said was heartwarming. She pulled me into an embrace and said “Good for you. I’m so glad that you are comfortable enough with yourself that you’re able to be open about it. And thank you for sharing that with me.”
I’ve been living in a very conservative location for many years now. I call it Redneckville, but there’s nothing wrong with being a red neck. Really, this town has a lot of close minded, homophobic bigots. Which is why I’ve never been able to consider coming totally out of the closet. The vibe in Oregon just felt different, much more welcoming. Maybe it’s because I was in larger cities or maybe the state itself is less…Redneckian but I felt a freedom I hadn’t felt in a long, long time. It was a breath of fresh air, literally and figuratively.
What does that mean for my future and the possibility of coming out? I’m not sure yet. 
Depends on the job I find. But I think even if I end up in a job where coming out isn’t the best idea, I still think I could live my private life with more freedom and not worry about the repercussions of my job.
And that is just one of the many reasons I want to get my ass to Oregon just as soon as I possibly can. I head back in a few days to testing for a job I really want. Wish me luck!
And because any post of mine isn’t complete without a pic of a hot dude, here ya go!
June 2, 2012
Interviewed by a Peacock!
Not THAT kind of peacock, but the Mad PeaCOCK aka Talon PS on Facebook. It was truly unlike any interview I’ve had before. Do not miss it!
May 19, 2012
Coming Soon: The Way Back by Carter Quinn
The Way Back by Carter Quinn has a release date–June 11. This is an awesome novel you have to read. I was honored to help Carter as he wrote it. Help isn’t the right word. He didn’t need help at all. He’s an amazing storyteller and Riley is an incredible character. Check out Dreamspinner’s Coming Soon page.
May 16, 2012
Four Hearts at MM Good Book Reviews
A big shout out to Pixie at MM Good Book Reviews who gave Subject 13 four hearts. Check it out!
May 13, 2012
Life As I Know It
You ever feel like life kicked you in the teeth, then in the gut, then in the crotch, again in the teeth and followed it up with firm blow to the shin?
Yeah, things have been kind of shitty lately. I suffer from depression and some times it’s worse than others. Lately, it’s been for the worse. I’ve made mistakes in my personal, romantic life. I’ve hurt others and I’ve been hurt in return. And what have I done about it? I’ve been throwing myself the biggest pity party of all time!
I’ve whined about putting time into a relationship that ultimately failed even though I know it’s for the best. I’ve whined about being overweight and unhealthy and then followed it up with a bowl of ice cream and a Mt. Dew.
Mother’s Day and the weeks leading up to it have been especially difficult because I lost my 
mom several years ago. She was awesome and whatever was happening in my life I would turn to her. With the bullshit in my personal life her absence has been especially profound because all I want to do is talk to her about it and ask her what I should do.
This has affected almost all parts of my life, strangely enough work is the exception. At work life makes sense, I know what to do and when to do it. At home it’s different. I mope around and can’t seem to concentrate on anything. Including writing. Lately writing has been more painful than, well, getting kicked in the teeth. I have about 4k done in a halfway decent WIP.
And that’s one problem, it’s halfway decent. It’s not fantastic. So why do it if it’s not fantastic? If I can’t do it perfectly why do it all? Add in a dozen or so home projects that I have been unable to finish because of one thing or another.
Where am I going with this crazy ass ramble? Hold on, I’ll get to the point.
Today, Mother’s Day, I was trying, and failing, to do a number of things. At one point I literally said ‘Fuck it’ and decided everything could just go to hell. But because I tend to be an eternal optimist I decided to give one of the doomed projects one last chance.
A few weeks ago my bathroom light suddenly stopped working for no reason. I’d checked 
the light, the switch, everything I could think of. I’d given up and had resorted putting a tap light in the bathroom so I could see in the middle of the night. Today, I switched around a few wires, but it didn’t work. So I decided to put it all back together so at least I didn’t have loose wires hanging there. And guess what? The light worked.
I’m not a super religious person, but I have a strong belief in God. Or Goddess. Or whatever. The point is that at the moment, when the light came on, I felt like God was talking to me. Or maybe it was Mom up in Heaven. I don’t know.
So I went back outside to worked on another doomed project, getting my swamp cooler up and running. I messed around with a few things and finally saw the solution right in front of me. And I got it running, sure it leaks a bit. It’s not perfect but it works.
So I tackled another doomed project. Guess what? It was another simple fix. Pardon the cliche, but I couldn’t see the forest through the trees. The solution to that particular problem was, and had been, right in front of me.
I’m single, which isn’t something I particularly enjoy, but apparently it’s where God wants 
me to be at the moment. Do I think I’m going to find my partner amidst random hook ups and one nighters? Nope. Do I think I’m going to find him on a dating site? Nope. So I’m not going to look for him. I’m not going to close myself off, but I’m going to try and not be quite so damn desperate. After all, I should learn to be by myself, right?
I’m going to try to write. It might not be perfect, it might not even be good.
I’m going to try and be happy as a single man. I might even try to improve my health.
Thanks for listening.
May 12, 2012
May 6, 2012
Website Updates
I have finally created a Tumblr account! I call it Ethan’s Angels and it will be a collection of things I find pretty, so pretty, pretty and witty and gay! Go here!
Also thanks to my amazing bff you can now subscribe to my site instead of checking back for ever so infrequent posts.
May 5, 2012
Man oh Man Linc Gets More Lovin’
More loving for my dumb and lovable hockey player/bartender/private investigator. A+ at Man oh Man Reviews!!
April 23, 2012
Hearts On Fire
Bartender, PI has received another great review! Five hearts! So excited!! Check it out!
