Megan Bostic's Blog, page 15

Blogger looks down on women with kids and husbands and is proud of it

Yep. You read that right. Not this blogger. Nope. Her name is Amy Glass and she writes at the Thought Catalog. Here is the blog in question. You can read it, but I'm going to point out the important stuff below.

I would almost bet my children's lives (I said almost, so if I'm wrong, don't come gathering them up or anything) 1. she is young, like college age or just a bit older 2. she doesn't have children.

1. She doesn't think a stay at home mom is an equal to a working woman. 

Hmmm. Having been  a stay at home mom for a number of years I can tell you, it's the hardest "job" I ever had. Being a parent is terrifying. First, you have to carry this fragile being in your body for nine months and pray you both survive it, which doesn't always happen. If you do, you don't just have to feed and nurture that child and ensure that they turn into a civilized human being, you get to worry about them every day of their life, no matter how old they are, that no ill will comes to them. This on top of all the household chores, the grocery shopping, laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc, etc.

2. She doesn't consider getting married and having kids milestones. She believes anyone can do them, they are the most common thing ever. "By definition, average."

I guess choosing someone to be with for the rest of your life may seem average to someone who obviously never wants that.  But finding that perfect person, the one soul who belongs to you, that actually takes some work. And sometimes, we don't get it right the first time and some people who want this very thing, never find it at all. By definition, I would say this is magical.

As far as children go, I would say, as I said before, carrying another life inside your body and  praying no harm comes to them  isn't common, it's a miracle. Then I will just quote Elizabeth Stone for the rest of my point...“Making the decision to have a child - it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ”

3. Ms. Glass asks, "If women can do anything, why are we still content with applauding them for doing nothing?" She would rather throw a shower for"...a woman when she backpacks on her own through Asia, gets a promotion, or lands a dream job..." not when she takes, "...the path of least resistance. 

What Ms. Glass fails to realize is that these are all choices and I would guess that most women who backpack through Asia, get promotions, or land dream jobs don't look down on women who make these choices to stay home and raise their children on their own.  They are doing something worthwhile. They are not conforming to the norms of society by keeping their jobs and tossing their kids into the daycare systems. They are making sacrifices, cutting corners, clipping coupons, doing whatever it takes to make this happen because THEY want to be the one to raise their children, to teach them how to be good people. They don't want someone else doing it for them. That's doing nothing? That's not something to applaud?

4. She thinks with a husband and kids you can't do all those great things single childless women do. She says, we think we can, but it's a lie. That we will never have the time, energy, freedom or mobility to do it.


Really? I am 44 years old, almost 45. I was a stay at home mom until my kids were in middle school, so about 12 years. I have been to Rome, Venice, NY and various other places across the country. I had my book published by one of the top publishers in the world. I'm a legal marketer for one of the best law firms in my city and I'm exceptional at it and they pay me well because I'm good. I'm planning a road trip across the country in the next year. 

On top of that, my daughters are awesome. They do not get into trouble. They do not disrespect me in any way. Mine is the house the kids come and hang out at. One daughter is an exceptional soccer player, the other a musician. Does that sound like a lie to you? Does that sound like I'm not doing all the things a single childless woman can do?

5. She states how it's only women who talk about the hardships about managing a household, never men. She thinks it's because it is so women don't have to explain their lack of accomplishments and that men aren't conditioned to think things like that are "important." She states, "Doing laundry will never be as important as being a doctor or an engineer or building a business."

Men don't talk about it because mostly they're not the ones doing it. Unless of course they're a stay at home dad. I wonder what Ms. Glass thinks about that. They must be real failures in life. And being a stay at home mom isn't simply about "doing laundry." It's about all the things I mentioned above. It's about choices, and sacrifice, and bringing life into this world. 

I will end with this: Being a stay at home mom was one of the hardest decisions I ever made. I had a great job with the government, but I hated leaving my kids at daycare every day. I wasn't even sure I was going to be a good mom, yet there I was, making the decision to do it full time, on top of all the other household chores.  But you know what, I was good at it. 

My kids tell me they love me every day. Their friends tell me they love me. Don't get me wrong, they're teenagers, life isn't perfect. We have all squabbles. Mostly they're about grades and messes. I'm not having to get mad at my kids about drugs and alcohol, stealing or anything like that. I know parents whose kids tell them to "fuck off." My kids would never dream of saying that to me. So, Amy, don't tell me I didn't accomplish anything in those years I stayed home. I accomplish more than you ever will if you keep this attitude.

One other thing, Ms. Glass, without children give or take the husband - I'm well aware of the divorce rate in this day and age, I'm divorced myself, though I'm with someone right now who is very special to me - you will live a very lonely existence. Yes, you will have your friends and your parents and siblings if you have any, but when you get old, who will take care of you? Who will drive you to the grocery store, take you to lunch, visit you in the nursing home? No one. Think about that next time you decide to look down on a group of people who not only have made some big, difficult choices and sacrifices, but have created something beautiful, lasting and that will be there for them when they need it most.

Traveling with Parents

I've recently returned from a vacation with my parents. They have a house in Scottsdale, AZ and a couple months ago, after I got my Christmas bonus from work, I decided that I was not going to pay off ALL my bills, I was going to get my ass into the sun to refill my vitamin D levels (you know how gray it gets in the PNW this time of year?) and relax because I've been so stressed out.

It was a wonderful trip, and coming home was bittersweet. My mom didn't want me to leave. She was staying there another week. I could have stayed there with her, the weather having been in the upper 70s the entire time I was there, but I had children, a job and a boyfriend I wanted to get back to.

Being on vacation alone with my parents, I learned a few things about myself and them that I thought I would share with you.

My parents:

~ They've turned into the Bickersons i.e. my grandparents, but only where two things are concerned, driving and cooking.

When they picked me up from the airport, traffic was heavy, as I came in during rush hour. They decided to take an alternate route. As I sat in the backseat, I listened to them squabble about which street would take them which way, which went through, etc, etc,. I felt like I was a kid again on a cross country road trip. I wondered where my barf bag was and why my brother wasn't slapping me in the head.

My dad and I put together Bracioles for the football games on Sunday, and there were a few debates when it came time to cook them. My dad didn't heat the oil first. I told him to, but he didn't listen. When my mom saw this...then it was too much oil, then not enough sauce...you get my drift.

Other than those two things, my parents are a loving couple who take care of each other well.

~ I'm not sure what's going on with my mom's hearing, but it's a little contradictory. I'll be sitting there right next to her talking to her and have to repeat everything I say. But if I'm sitting at my computer and I say something inadvertently to myself, she could be in the other room and hear me. Mind you, she will still say, "What?" but she still hears me.
~House cams are cool...and creepy. My dad has one at his home here and one
down in AZ. He says it's for safety, I think it's so he can check on his cat, Maxx and make sure he's being properly taken care of. And he can talk to you through the camera. He did it to me in AZ and it scared me to death at first.
~ They have a set routine. This may just be the vacation routine, but here it is.
Dad up, coffee, breakfast, newspaper.He gets mom up to take pills, makes her breakfast, she drinks coffee, reads the paper, watches TV.He takes a walk (which I did with him).Mom and I would sit outside while my dad tooled around the house. I have no idea what he was doing. I know part of the time he was on his computer, but he wears a pedometer and has to get his 10k steps in, so I know he's also doing other things like taking out the garbage, probably changing light bulbs and stuff, because he always gets his 10k in.Lunch is somewhere in there. Errand running (this is sometimes done after the walk, but many times we did it in the afternoon). Down time. Mom would nap, I would write or play on the computer, my dad would do his tooling around again.Dinner.TV, which consisted of three game shows, Let's Ask America, Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy, then many episodes of some type of Law & Order show. I didn't even know they watched Law & Order.Bed. Drinks were spread sporadically between  down time and bed. We threw in a couple other things, went to the neighbors to visit during the 'Down Time' one evening. Mom and I went shopping  one morning after I walked with my dad, must most the time, the above was the schedule. And I could only stomach one or two L&O episodes then would adjourn to my room for Damages, reading or sleeping.

~ My parents are still two of the smartest people I know. Seriously, just watch Jeopardy with them.

Me:

~ I'm not too shabby myself, when it comes to Jeopardy.
~ Replacing a heat pump is expensive and loud. Avoid it at all costs.

~ I can still read a book in days if I set my mind to it. I read Insurgent by Veronica Roth in 5 days, and that was only at a couple hours a day. Do you know how thick that book is? I even bought Allegiant for my Kindle while I was there (I never read on my Kindle, of course I ordered the hardback as soon as I got home. It should be here today). I'm going to try to make more time to read more books this year.
~ I have no will power when it comes to Italian bread. I can resist any kind of sweets you throw at me, but throw a loaf of Italian bread in my direction, and it's all over.
~ I need to take some time to recharge. I just normally don't know how to do it. On vacation with my parents, I'm forced to do it. I'm forced to sit and do nothing but take walks, read or write. I have to find a way to balance everything I have at home, but to squeeze that time in too. It may be a matter of giving on some other things. Social life, Netflix...but I know it will be worth it. I feel so good after a long weekend of doing nothing.
~  Avoiding becoming a Bickerson, I want the same kind of lasting and loving relationship my parents have.  My mom has had some health issues this year, and I see how my dad has lovingly cared for her. This June they will celebrate their 50th Anniversary. I know I will not have a relationship that lasts that long; if I found someone right now and lived another 50 years I'd be 95 (okay it's possible, but probably not plausible). But seriously, all kidding about their bickering aside, they have a love that has endured hardships and pain, good times and bad, and I hope I find one even half as binding as theirs.

Next trip: Weekend road trip with 8 teenagers. Oy. Wish me luck.

Sometimes Google is not the best option

A while back I found myself in need of a second computer. I LOATHE sharing a computer with my kids. It doesn't happen too often these days, but when I come home and feel the need to write and one of them is on the computer doing homework, I can't exactly kick her off. And when the younger downloads Steam games, inevitably, something on MY side of the computer gets changed, like a tool bar, or my internet homepage etc. In a word, it's annoying.

So I went online looking at laptops. I found one that came with a free printer, laptop case and thumbdrive. It was a great deal, so I jumped on it.  It came It came in the mail fairly quickly, I got it all set up, turned it on, and then scratched my head and went, huh? What are this?

You see, I'd bought a Chromebook without realizing it.

No big deal, right? *cough*

My kids could easily enough surf the web, do their social mediatizing (yes, I just made that word up), and watch YouTube videos. But then I find Thing Two on my computer one day and I'm like, Whoa! What's going on here?

"I can't play my games on that thing."

"Say what? Surely you are mistaken."

Don't really think too much about it because it doesn't happen too often and normally I just kick her off because we have a perfectly good Xbox in the basement she's normally just fine with.

A few months go by and I'm getting ready to travel by plane to somewhere to find sun and get out of the grayness that is  my home. I think, I should take that little Google computer thingy with me because it's so much smaller than my bulky old laptop. Good idea, right? I mean, surely its word processing program is Word compatible, right? *cough*

I ask the question to the All Knowing Facebook.

I come to find out, while some people i.e. small children, people who don't give a shit about doing anything of purpose, people with 0 computer knowledge, and those who use their computer for like, 2 things,  are perfectly happy with their Google Chromebook, it is NOT compatible with Office based products, it can NOT play Steam games or anything that has any power above say, a sloth, and did I mention it doesn't even run off Windows, so basically any Windows based program is out.

Where does this leave me? Absolutely fucking nowhere.

What is this thing good for? Paperweight. Doorstop? Awkward shaped Frisbee? Paper holder? Certainly not a computer.

On top of that, because it's not Windows based, it can't even pair up with the free printer it came with. Um, hey, store, why the fuck did you pair these two up if they don't work together. Duh.

It was time to do some research and find a new laptop before my trip. I had 24 hours. That story comes later.

Hey, if you have a Chromebook and love it. PLEASE tell me why. I'd like to like it. I really would. I'd like to know that it serves some kind of purpose in my household and isn't simply taking up space.

I sure hope Google doesn't punish me for this post.

So, hey, anyone want to buy a Chromebook?

12 books

My reading plan this year is to read 12 books. I know that is a drop in the bucket to some of you, but for me, it's kind of a big deal. I get so caught up with life and writing and editing my own books, admittedly, I don't make enough time to read. I wish I did, but I don't.

I have one rule.  I'm going to take at least 9 of them from the books I already have on my shelves and not by more than 3 new ones. The majority of books I own, I've never read. There are just sitting there staring at me begging to be read.

So I'm going to break them down into months. I've not started January's book yet, but I'm heading on a long weekend this week, and I'm going to start (and maybe finish) then.

January: Insurgent by Veronica Roth. This of course is the 2nd book in the Divergent (on my shelf)
series. I LOVED Divergent, and it's time to finish the series.

War now looms as conflict between the factions and their ideologies grows. And in times of war, sides must be chosen, secrets will emerge, and choices will become even more irrevocable—and even more powerful. Transformed by her own decisions but also by haunting grief and guilt, radical new discoveries, and shifting relationships, Tris must fully embrace her Divergence, even if she does not know what she may lose by doing so.

February: Allegiant by Veronica Roth. 3rd book in the Divergent series. See above. (to purchase)

What if your whole world was a lie?
What if a single revelation—like a single choice—changed everything?
What if love and loyalty made you do things you never expected?

Ooooooh. (shudders) Note: I cannot wait for the Divergent movie coming out this year.

March: The Summer of Letting Go by Gae Polisner. Most of you who read my blog should know by now that Gae is a very good friend of mine. I have been waiting for this sophomore book of hers for what seems like forever (as have many). It sounds so amazing...you should put it on your list too. (not on my shelf, but pre-ordered so counting as already owned)

Summer has begun, the beach beckons—and Francesca Schnell is going nowhere. Four years ago, Francesca’s little brother, Simon, drowned, and Francesca’s the one who should have been watching. Now Francesca is about to turn sixteen, but guilt keeps her stuck in the past. At loose ends, Francesca trails her father, who may be having an affair, to the local country club. There she meets four-year-old Frankie Sky, a little boy who bears an almost eerie resemblance to Simon, and Francesca begins to wonder if it’s possible Frankie could be his reincarnation. Knowing Frankie leads Francesca to places she thought she’d never dare to go—and it begins to seem possible to forgive herself, grow up, and even fall in love, whether or not she solves the riddle of Frankie Sky.


April: Auracle by Gina Rosati. This is one of my 2k12 peeps. There are still so many 2k12 books I have to read (and 2k11 for that matter as that's where I started), but this one is next on my list. (on my shelf)

Trapped outside her body, Anna sees and hears but cannot touch the one she longs to hold.Anna has a secret: she can astrally project out of her body. But when there's an accident and her classmate Taylor gets into Anna's body, what was an exhilarating gift threatens to become a terrifying reality. Anna and her best friend Rei form a plan to set things right, but they don't anticipate the feelings that are beginning to grow between them. Auracle by Gina Rosati is an exciting, sensual novel that explores the relationship between body and soul and the power of a single touch.
May: Something by John Green. I have a few books of his books on my shelf and I'm not sure which I want to read first. I believe I have Looking for Alaska, An Abundance of Katherines, Paper Towns, Will Grayson Will Grayson and Fault in Our Stars. I don't think I want to read the latter yet. Any suggestions on which I should read first? (on my shelf)

June: Nothing Special by Geoff Herbach. I read the first book in this series, Stupid Fast and LOVED it! Herbach is funny, but there is also an element of emotion and thoughtfulness in his writing. (to purchase)

Hey Aleah,
I miss you. Because there's some serious donkey crap going on right now. I'm supposed to be at football camp, but noooo ... Andrew had to go missing! So because of my stupid little brother, I'll probably lose my chance at a scholarship and end up being nothing special.

I'm pretty sure Andrew ran away to Florida, and now Gus and I have to drive cross-country to get him. Did you know Gus used to think

Miss Piggy was hot? Anyway, Andrew once told me I needed to get my head out of my butt. So that's what I'm trying to do. How about a kiss for luck?

Felton

July: Sharp Objects by Gillian Flynn. I heard this is a great story and has a cutting theme in it, so I thought I'd read it, since I wrote about a cutter as well. (on my shelf)

Fresh from a brief stay at a psych hospital, reporter Camille Preaker faces a troubling assignment: she must return to her tiny hometown to cover the murders of two preteen girls. For years, Camille has hardly spoken to her neurotic, hypochondriac mother or to the half-sister she barely knows: a beautiful thirteen-year-old with an eerie grip on the town. Now, installed in her old bedroom in her family's Victorian mansion, Camille finds herself identifying with the young victims—a bit too strongly. Dogged by her own demons, she must unravel the psychological puzzle of her own past if she wants to get the story—and survive this homecoming.

August: Before I Fall by Lauren Oliver. This book sounded so cool. I bought it a couple years ago and never read it. It's time. (on my shelf)

What if you only had one day to live? What would you do? Who would you kiss? And how far would you go to save your own life?

Samantha Kingston has it all: looks, popularity, the perfect boyfriend. Friday, February 12, should be just another day in her charmed life. Instead, it turns out to be her last.

The catch: Samantha still wakes up the next morning. Living the last day of her life seven times during one miraculous week, she will untangle the mystery surrounding her death—and discover the true value of everything she is in danger of losing.

September: Something Like Normal by Trish Doller. I met Trish through my ex-husband's cousin before either of us had book deals. Then as luck and coincidence would have it, our debut novels were both released in 2012. I've been wanting to read this for awhile. I'm going to read it this year. (to purchase)

When Travis returns home from a stint in Afghanistan, his parents are splitting up, his brother’s stolen his girlfriend and his car, and he’s haunted by nightmares of his best friend’s death. It’s not until Travis runs into Harper, a girl he’s had a rocky relationship with since middle school, that life actually starts looking up. And as he and Harper see more of each other, he begins to pick his way through the minefield of family problems and post-traumatic stress to the possibility of a life that might resemble normal again. Travis’s dry sense of humor, and incredible sense of honor, make him an irresistible and eminently lovable hero.

October: The Tension of Opposites by Kristina McBride. I was introduced to Kristina by a mutual friend and writer, Brady Allen. He was one of Kristina's professors. She was part of the class of 2k10.  I've had this book on my shelf for a couple years. It's time I read it. (on my shelf)

When Tessa's best friend Noelle disappears right before the start of eighth grade, Tessa's life changes completely--she shies away from her other friends and stops eating in the cafeteria. Now, two years later, Noelle has escaped her captivity and is coming home, in one piece but not exactly intact, and definitely different. Tessa's life is about to change again as she tries to revive the best-friendship the two girls had shared before Noelle--now Elle--was kidnapped; puts up a futile resistance to the charming new guy at school; pursues her passion for photography while trying to build the bravado to show her photos to the public; and tries to balance her desire to protect and shelter Elle with the necessity to live her own life and put herself first.

November: Eleanor and Park by Rainbow Rowell. I've heard so many great things about this book and it's set in 1986, when I was in high school. How can I not read it?

TWO MISFITS. ONE EXTRAORDINARY LOVE. 
It's 1986 and two star-crossed teens are smart enough to know that first love almost never lasts, but brave and desperate enough to try. When Eleanor meets Park, you'll remember your own first love--and just how hard it pulled you under.

 A cross between the iconic '80s movie Sixteen Candles and the classic coming-of-age novel Looking for Alaska, Eleanor & Park is a brilliantly written young adult novel.

December: The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath. Because it's about time. (on my shelf)

Sylvia Plath's shocking, realistic, and intensely emotional novel of a woman falling into the grips of insanity.

If I finish all these...I will start on these next...
Touching the Surface by Kimberly Sabatini
The Mockingbirds by Daisy Whitney
Where things Come Back by John Corey Whaley
Very Bad Men by Harry Dolan
Body Finder by Kimberly Derting
I Know This Much Is True by Wally Lamb
Go Ask Alice by Anonymous
Anna Dressed in Blood by Kendara Blake
 

Facebook Posts: Are they really THAT insufferable?

A couple days ago an article titled 7 Ways to Be Insufferable on Facebook surfaced on the Huffington Post. Some people took this to be sarcastic, and some took the writer to be a total douche. Either way you look at it, certainly some people are truly bugged by what people post on Facebook while others don't care one way or the other. Let's discuss what was discuss in the article, shall we?


1) The Brag
Okay, so some people brag on Facebook. Oh wait, I'm sorry, ALL people brag at
some time or another, and why not? Sometimes awesome things happen and everyone should know about. I got a book published. Um, that's kind of a big deal.

However if I were to be a habitual braggert, that would be annoying. It would also tell people my life actually sucks. We all know that people that talk themselves up that much actually have very boring, uneventful lives and just like to make us thing their lives are more exciting then they really are.

The article takes the time to splitting the braggerts into three subsections, but who really cares?  Like I said, everyone does it whether they are overt about it or do it in a quiet manner.

I will say this about the "relationship bragger" - you are annoying. Especially if all you do is fawn all over your loved one. Get over it. It's just another relationship that you'll grow complacent with someday like everyone else unless you actually take the steps to keep it exciting and passionate and continually posting about it on Facebook isn't going to do it.


2) The Cryptic Cliffhanger
Admittedly, I have been guilty of this. But I honestly don't do it because I want people coming to my page to give me virtual hugs and fling invisible cupcakes or wine bottles in my general directions, more so because I'm wallowing in self pity and find it entertaining.

If you're not doing it for the same reasons I'm doing it than stop 'sighing' 'ughing' and telling everyone you're 'struggling' today unless you're going to expand on it. I usually have no qualms telling people how shitty my day was.

If you need attention go to your shrink or your mom. If you want cupcakes go to the bakery, if you need a drink go to the bar on the corner. That's what I do.


3) The Literal Status Update
Okay, sometimes we need to be accountable to someone. Do we really need to get this nitpicky? I mean, yes, I've been literal on my Facebook page. I've posted my to do list. I think that's about it though. I mean, I have posted other things, like, "I'm eating a salad." But that's more to be funny and make fun of people who are really posting literal status updates. So don't do that. Unless like me you want to be accountable for something, then it's okay...because I said so, that's why.


4) The Inexplicably-Public Private Message
I have found this mostly done by stupid people, people who have no idea how to use social media, or people who are new to Facebook and have no idea what they're doing. Of course the article also thinks you should post on someone's page, "I miss you when are we hanging out?"

Um, why not? What are we supposed to post on people's pages then? Just political propaganda and pictures of funny cats?

5) The Out-Of-Nowhere Oscar Acceptance Speech
Sometimes people just need to show some love to no one in particular. Is that so wrong? I mean, sometimes just having all these people on Facebook reading your posts or stalking your pictures is enough to get you through the day, isn't it? I know it is for me.

6) The Incredibly Obvious Opinion
Okay, I think the person who wrote the article is a douche about this one. I think solidarity and compassion is a good thing. Coming together as a community, country, whatever, in the face of tragedy isn't always a bid for attention or narcissistic. Sometimes it is just genuine sympathy and an appeal for fellowship. Screw you.

7) The Step Toward Enlightenment
Um, yeah, I admit, these irritate me. Next! 

Oh, I guess that's it.  What do you think about all these types of Facebook posts? Do you think they can at any time be genuine?  Or do you think they're all just narcissistic bids for attention? Talk to me.

How I feel about the most overused words of 2013

There have been numerous articles about what words were the most overused last year. While I would agree, some of them are annoying and those still using them must be stopped, to others, I just say, meh.  So here we go, my feelings about the most overused words of 2013...
Twerking. This word was around before Miley Cyrus, however it steamrolled over the interwebs after her performance on the VMA's. This is the fault of the media, not Miley Cyrus. Plus, it was a stupid word before 2013 and it's a stupid word now and we should just invent a new dance already and move on.
 YOLO. Um. I'm torn. I'm like the hip, cool mom, and essentially this is what my first book is about, but honestly, teenagers aren't saying this anymore. Dorky parents who think they are hip and cool are saying this. I still think it's pithy and fun. You see my conundrum?
Artisan. This used to be a legit word. It used to mean something. Now, everyone is an artisan. I make bread, I'm an artisan. I make candles, I'm an artisan. I fart in a jar, I'm an artisan. Yeah....no. 
Infused. Infused was cool when nothing was being infused, but now everything is being infused. Let me give you a ride in the wayback machine to a time I made candy corn infused vodka. That was before they were making all these vodka flavors they're selling now. I actually soaked candy corns in vodka for weeks, I didn't just put some chemically enhanced flavoring in the stuff. Infused. Not cool.
Handcrafted. To me this is a bit like artisan. Handcrafted, making things with your own hands. At a time before Ebay and Etsy and mass produced patterns for EVERTHING, this was a cool thing. Now, if you go to an arts and crafts show, everything looks the same. And if you try to find something cool online, the market is so saturated with handcrafted crap, it's just not cool anymore. And I'm sorry, some of it is crap. It's hard to find things that are unique anymore. I'm not saying it's impossible. I mean, I have a friend who makes some amazing bags, and I find a gal who makes some amazing steampunk inspired jewelry, but it's hard to find anything that isn't made from a pattern sold at Joann Fabrics.
Brand.  Now don't be dissing on the branding. This is very important to us marketing people. Brand is how businesses are recognized. It's how we roll people. Get over it.
Gluten free.I would like to poke a gluten free pencil through my ear next time I hear this phrase. They do make those, right?
Hipster. Did Hipsters actually make up this term "Hipster"? Because that seems exactly the thing a Hipster would do, but then they'd blame it on society because that would be so mainstream. I don't care enough about Hipsters to care about their title. If I see them on the streets I probably just call them douchebags.
Totes. I'm okay with the shortening of words and the use of acronyms. I really am. I do it a lot just to make fun of teen slang, like I think I used the word "obvi" in my blog yesterday. I think FOMO is funny because I know people like that. But totes makes me want to kick a kitten.
Anything ending in 'agedden' or 'pocalypse'. I think these are still funny. I don't care what anyone else says.
Meh. Come on! One syllable and three letters is the best way to tell people how apathetic you are about a subject without saying absolutely nothing.
#Hashtag. Meh.
Twittersphere. Twitter is God.
Mister Mom. I personally have not heard a soul utter this in 2013. Is this really a thing?
T-Bone. They're talking about the car wreck here, not the steak. And for realsies? This was overused in 2013? See Mister Mom.
Obamacare. And now we can't talk about politics. No, lets just bury our heads in the sand. That's a great idea.
Whatever.  I love using whatever. I've been proudly using it circa 1985. Again, another way to show someone how apathetic you are to what they're saying. i.e. trying to piss them off without showing anger or violent behavior.
Selfie. I love selfies. I love saying selfie. I use selfie all the time. I take selfies all the time. No one takes better pictures of me. If you take selfies away I will run you through with a samurai sword. (okay, maybe not that last one)




 How do you feel about these overused words? Any words you are tired of hearing not mentioned here? 

She's got Quasimodo eyes

I'll start this by stating that I'm running on 5 hours of sleep. I don't know what it is with my body, but when I go to bed at midnight, it always assumes that 5 am is a reasonable hour to wake up.

Yesterday I woke up with my left eye extremely swollen. I looked in the mirror and this is the first thing I thought of...

 
My eye doctor told me once before that it was clogged tear ducts and that I should use hot compresses and rub my bottom lid.  At first I was like, um, yeah, hot compresses? Whose got time for that? But when you look like Quasimodo, you make time. I almost didn't go to work, in fact, a friend told me I should 'call in ugly,' which I thought was brilliant, but I decided to suck it up and go in. When I got there I told everyone not to look at me because I was hideous.
Now, I've had this happen before obvi, but this time was way worse, so I thought, perhaps my eye doctor is a quack and I would really benefit from taking an allergy pill, just for good measure, and if it's not gone by tomorrow (which is today now, mind you) I would make a doctor appointment with my D.O.
I always know where my allergy pills are...except of course at this moment. I tore the house apart looking for them. A drawer even got organized in the ransacking. I know, contradiction, but that's me. I surmise I must have left them at the BF's house (he has dogs, I know, big step for me, but totally worth it). Not even an old bottle or packet of allergy meds lying around. Not even slightly expired ones.
So I've taken more time out of my last two days for hot compresses than I probably have to sleep. And then what happens...
...this morning I wake up to a swollen eye. Not as bad mind you, but still. It's never lasted this long, so I'm calling my doc this morning to see if it's clogged tear ducts as my eye doctor told me...or something more (cue ominous music).
This on top of my turbulent relationship with sleep makes for a grumpy Monday. I did a sleep study over the weekend. I'm really not sure how they can tell anything from those, I mean, how can anyone sleep right with a giant plastic pack strapped to their chest, a clamp on their finger and a tube up their nose. SMH. Anyway, I did it. We'll see if they come up with anything. But while filling out the paperwork there was a section that you had to put a # value on certain answers and it said if your answer go higher than 10 you probably had OSA (Obstructive Sleep Apnea).

I was reminded of this...


Except this one went to 12.

But I have to wait for the results to get back. If that's the case though, I hope I don't have to wear one of those freaky machine things that make me look like I have an alien clamped to my face...



...and I hope they don't throw more meds at me. I've read up. I could probably stand to lose a few pounds, avoid alcohol (HAHAHAHA), sleep on my side, avoid sleep deprivation ( again, HAHAHAHA), and my allergies may have something to do with it.  But I guess if I have to have an alien clamped to my face, it's better than dying in my sleep.

I had a few other annoyances yesterday, but we'll leave it at that.

How was your Monday?

10 resolutions I won't be making...

To stop talking shit about people. Everyone does it. Okay, when I talk shit about my friends, I mostly do it to their faces because if they're acting stupid, I think they should know about it. I hope they would do the same for me. Mostly I talk shit about stupid celebrities because seriously, they boggle my mind. I'm still trying to come up with a pithy phrase for my Kanye boycotting campaign. Maybe instead of Kan-yeah, it should be Kan-nay. SMH, I know, that's horrible. I'll keep thinking...To learn something new. I cannot even keep up with the stuff I already know, why would I want to add anything to that list. I'll just maintain my level of intelligence right where it is thank you.Take more time for myself. HAHAHA. I have come to the conclusion that time for myself is a fallacy. It will happen only as a fluke, there is no making time for it, so there is no point in resolving to do so.Keeping a journal. I try, I really do. I write sporadically. I'll write for a couple days, then not again for say, a year, then I'll remember I have a journal and I'll pick it up again. It's pathetic. Sad thing is my life is interesting. Laughably so. I'm sure my kids would get a kick out of reading about it eventually. Perhaps I'm dismissing this one too quickly. Should rethink...Save money. Yeah, in a perfect world I want to do this. I mean, I do this, but I do it so I don't know I'm doing it, with money I never see. It would be nice to be able to do it with money I do see, but I don't have money to save because I have these little plastic things that hold other people's money that they let me use when I don't have money of my own and then they charge me like 5 million times more than I used to pay it back. Yeah, so first I'm going to pay that back before I save my own money.Conquer my  fears. No. I'm sorry. I will never pet a spider. You will never get me into a submarine, which attributes to two of my fears, drowning and being in enclosed spaces, I will not get too close to the Grand Canyon or any high space with little protection for fear I will plummet to my death, and keep your clowns to yourself. They will always paralyze me with fear and I refuse to ever try to conquer that. So there.Swearing. Fuck that. Who cares? I know when and where to not use my "f" bombs. I will not use them when meeting your grandmother, if I'm at your wedding or funeral (well, maybe at your funeral) or if your tiny children or near, otherwise, it's fair game.Give up vices. Why should I deprive myself of the very things that make life enjoyable for me? If I exercise and eat right, I don't see why I can't drink coffee and wine habitually and gamble every so often. Enjoy life to the fullest. Right. This seems like a good idea, but if you're a writer that writes about the trials and tribulations in life, one who writes about social issues like illness and cutting, school violence, death and dying, you need to be a little broody at times. So I'll live life to the fullest every other day and sulk in a writing angst the others. Good compromise?Use social media less. Why? This is how people connect now. This is how I stay connected with the many writers I've met from all over the world. With the readers, librarians and teachers I've connected with through my writing. This is how I've reconnected with old friends from elementary, junior high and high school. My new BF I've known since 5th grade and where did we reconnect? Facebook. So when people tell me I should really lay off the________________(fill in your favorite social media outlet) once again I say why? Sure, human contact is important, but how cool is it to be able to stalk people all over the world now?Is there any popular resolutions you are just saying "no" to?

2013 accounting and 2014 intentions.

This year flew by. Seriously, I have no idea where it went. I feel like I was just doing I made the year before and see how I did and then set some goals for the next year.
resolutions
this. If you've not read my blog in December before, I like to go through the

But first, let's talk about the year. It's had its ups and downs...


 For the first couple months I continued to visit schools and talk about Never Eighteen and then I got sick and tired of it and decided it was time to work on getting something new out. Never Eighteen was nominated for its first award, the New York City Reading Association's Charlotte Award. Never Eighteen got a book deal in Brazil. Battled with my ex-agent over my film and movie rights. There was no winner, even though I have them now.After querying approximately 3 agents I decided toke the plunge and indie publish. CRAZY!!I took some amazing trips, Arizona with friends and my daughters, my first time to Vegas with a new friend, a few trips to the ocean, Lake Chelan.Got to meet writer friends Taylor McCleve, Bettina Restrepo, Suzanne Lazear, and Liz Fichera, Jenny Milchman on my travels (or theirs). Forgive me if I forgot anyone!!I've seen come great live music, small and big shows that included my daughter's band, and private show with Ian McFeron for my niece's birthday, the friend of a friend who plays some awesome Americana, my brother's band Smilin' Jack, Stephanie Anne Johnson, Pearl Jam... Dating, well, hmmm, it happened. Times were good, times weren't so good. Now they're great. Both kids driving. Oy. Thing two gets her license next month.One book edited, a new one started, and one......Indie published!! Woot! A nerve wracking and awesome experience. Will I do it again? Hell yes!I call this "The Year of Great Sleep".  If you've followed my blog, you know I've been having this health problem, and yes I call it a health problem, in which I have to sleep 2-3 hours a day, in the middle of the day which drives me nuts. I've done everything, tested everything and it's not diet, exercise or anything else. Trying a couple more things...frustrating. Read lots of good book. Lots for me at least, which is probably just a few for you, lets see, Divergent, Catching Fire, Mockingjay, Joe Peace, Cover of Snow...I'm pretty sure I've read more than that...those are just the ones I could think of off the top of my head. Now, for the resolutions. Let's see how I did, and if I didn't succeed, how I will adjust in the upcoming year to try to achieve these goals.

Health:
Exercise 3-5 times a week. Eat healthier, cut down on my wine. Drop some weight. I didn't put a number on it. Quiet reflection 30 minutes a day.

Results -  HAHAHAHA. Just kidding. I did good with the exercise, kickboxing 3 times a week...until "The Year of Great Sleep" caught up with me. Then I just couldn't do it any more. I have started walking again though and it feels good. Eat healthier, for the most part. Cut down on wine, yes! Drop weight. I dropped it, then I picked it back up, then I dropped it again, then I picked it back up. I did that a couple times within the 10 pound range. Last time I checked I was down, but I'm pretty sure I've gained during the holidays so I've not checked, and I'm not going to until I fee liked I've dropped a couple pounds. Quiet reflection 30 minutes a day...EPIC FAIL.

2014 goal - Hope what I'm doing for "The Year of Great Sleep" works and keep walking and when I feel up to it, get back to kickboxing. Eat better. Cut out more sodium specifically. Stop eating popcorn for dinner and cook more. Considering going gluten free, but I REALLY like my half bagel in the morning with Laughing Cow cheese. Try to lose 10 pounds by my birthday in April. Quiet reflection for 10 minutes a day. Maybe that's more doable.

Writing:
Last year's goal was to finish my nano project and write 2 more books. And I was making decisions between these three things: 1) Entering ABNA 2) Self publishing 3) Finding an agent.

Results - I scrapped the nano project. I may pick it up at some point, but for now, it's Yay me!!
on the back burner. I have other projects I want to finish first. Write 2 more books? Was I completely insane when I wrote that? Drunk? Possessed by some kind of writing demon? HAHAHA yeah, that didn't happen. I did start one. I got up to 21k. Nothing to sneeze at. And of the last 3 items I did enter ABNA and of course I self published Dissected.
 
2013 goal - Definitely not to write 2 books this year. I know that's not going to happen. I do want to finish the one I'm writing. I would also like to self publish another in late summer early fall - my football book titled, Girl in Motion. And possibly edit my school shooting book and work on my dystopian series, though that's getting a little lofty.

Life:
Last year's goals -Better balancing work, writing, kids, and all the other pleasures in life. Reading more, staying organized, travel more.


Results - I think I did worse with the balance this year than the previous and I blame that on "The Year of Great Sleep." You seriously have no idea how debilitating it's been. I do want to read more. I have certain books on my TBR list, Insurgent, I've been wanting to read some John Green, my friend Gae's 2nd book comes out and sounds amazeballs (I've already pre-ordered it), I have other friend's books to get to still...so many books, so little time. Organization, oy. Um, I think I was better although my office was messy from July to October. I bought a new desk and other furniture to get me organized. I have yet to put three more pieces together, but I'll get there. Travel more...I traveled as much as I could I think.

2014 goal - Balance...screw balance. I'm going to take these things one by one...
Work - Who cares?Writing - An hour a day. I think I can promise myself that, can't I? It's not too much to ask of myself?Marketing - An hour a day. I may break this down even more, weekly tasks or monthly, like send out so many books or postcards, or do a live event a month, IDK yet. Kids - My kids and I have already decided to commit one day a week to each other in which we have dinner and spend the evening together doing something, with no one else, just us.Organization - Um...I'll work on it. That's all I can say.Travel - Yes. I will be going to the ocean, in fact, I'm starting the year out there. I know there will be more trips to the ocean and I will be going to Arizona, Mexico, and Florida, these things are for sure. Other than that, I don't know. One of these days I want to take my daughters to NY. Before I am too old, I need to do my drive across the country. I've only been wanting to do it since I graduated high school. Maybe this should be the year. I should really do it before I'm 50 at least.
Love:
Last year's goals - To love myself and others to the best of my abilities. Remember that I am fallible and will make mistakes, but it is just a part of life, who I am, and who I will be. As long as I keep growing and learning from the mistakes I make, it's fine. Continue to trust in myself and others, but I also need to be more careful when doing this and know not everyone has my best interests at heart. And I will continue to let happiness happen.

Results - Let's see...hahaha, um, I tried really hard to love myself and sometimes I was hugely successful at it and sometimes I epically failed. It's pretty much impossible not to remember that I'm fallible and make mistakes. I've gotten used to it. Totally kidding, but yeah, I'm okay making mistakes. As humans we never stop growing and learning and I'm okay with that. I think I become a better more interesting person every year. And maybe even a little more profound. I don't know. happiness happen, I do, but I also

2014 goals - I pretty much love me for who I am. I think I'm a pretty cool cat. I'm crazy pants, but I think they help me appreciate when life is good and right. They remind me of times in which I was really low and how I don't ever want to go back there. I found a quote I love - "...but for the dark, we'd never see the stars." I've been writing it in Dissected when I sign it. As far as mistakes and fallibility go, I'm going to keep doing that and keep learning and growing as a person and keep feeling and experiencing life. Our mistakes, our experiences our adventures is what makes us interesting, unique. They are what give us stories to tell. Trust...who cares...if I want to throw my heart at someone, it's mine to throw. If they break it into tiny pieces and throw it back at me, it's just another of life's lessons learned the hard way and I have another story to tell.
Or maybe I'm just narcissistic to think that because, well, I am. I don't trust myself. Period. Pttthhh. I don't care. I do stupid stuff. I make bad decisions, mistakes. I'm okay with it. See sentences above. I trust others though, but I've become jaded and skeptical. I'm careful these days. And I let
like a little sadness from time to time.
smart, I'm funny, I'm adorable, but I do have moments of self loathing, but to be perfectly honest, in a way I like those moments and I think I need those low moments, as long as I don't have them too often. I don't know if this sounds completely

A few more goals I have:

Smile more. :)Visit my parents at least once a week. Learn patience or at least learn to breathe a little.Shut up and listen.Dance in my living room when no one's home.I'll probably come up with more, but you're not supposed to take on too many resolutions or you're setting yourself up for failure. I blogged about that for the day job last week. That blog comes out on New Year's Eve. You should check it out.

Are you making resolutions? What are they?

Have a great New Years Eve and Day. Stay safe and sane.

The end is nigh...

...of the year that is. I've been doing a lot of reflecting on my life lately. I
suppose we all do this time of year, right? I mean, it's the time in which we decide what's good in our lives and what's toxic and make those resolutions we sometimes keep and sometimes ditch after a couple days.

For me, this year, like some of the last few has had its ups and downs, but every year the ups seem to get higher and the lows , not as low, so that's a good thing. I've also found myself depressed this holiday season. I know many suffer this time of year. Mine aren't so much the holidays as they are my own personal demons based on this time of year, but I've been making strides and I think big changes that have taken place in my life, on my terms have helped.

 I've made big decisions. Good decisions. It's like I'm starting my resolutions early.

Publishing my book. I'm so happy I did it. I've not had a lot of time to publicize it yet, but in the new year I'm going to get to it and hopefully will sell more copies. It is selling slowly but surely and I have friends helping me out in the publicity department, word of mouth, posting on Facebook and retweeting for me. I hope to have another book out next fall.

I'm writing a new book I'm really excited about. Dual points of view, a boy and a journal, a little bit of suspense, a little humor, a little sadness, a lot of social issues, which I write best. :)
 
 I've decided to spend more time with my kids. I don't know what it is, maybe it's the fact that, one daughter will be going to college next year and the other gets her license, but I was starting to miss my daughters terribly last month. I mean, they live with me a week at a time, and I see them on my off weeks, but they're teenagers and they have their own agenda and I'm busy, so it seems like we rarely see each other. We made a plan to have a night a week together.


I went back to the doctor to resolve my tiredness. It's been frustrating and it's been going on for well over a year. I've never been a napper and to have to take 2-3 hours out of my day, hours in which I can be productive, in order to sleep, just irritates me. I've already had blood tests for everything, it has nothing to do with exercise because it was happening while I was exercising regularly, I eat right, so we added a medication and cut back on another, PLUS we're going to do a sleep study.

I've started walking again. I will get back to kickboxing once my schedule clears up, but I've always loved walking. I used to walk, no matter the weather, it could be pouring rain, freezing, didn't matter. I've always loved how the fresh air clears my mind. It's not only good for my health, but it helps with my writing and I truly think it's good for my soul.

Other than that, I've made some other difficult decisions that I think will put a positive spin on my life, I've started seeing someone new and it's been awesome so far (we've known each other since 5th grade), and I feel really good about about 2014.

Have you made any positive changes this year? Any changes planned for 2014? This is my current theme song, it's helped me get through a lot this holiday season...