R.W. Richard's Blog, page 27
April 24, 2016
I Ain't Your Momma
A nine or ten-year-old girl asks her nanny how do you know if you’re in love.
“You’ll want to share something beautiful with him.” (As seen in Hallmark’s October Kiss).
Of course, the nanny wanted to simplify for the girl, but it was obviously emanating from her heart. There's a lot to her words.
Let’s elaborate from the male POV.
A guy’s in love. He wants to share something he finds beautiful with his gal.He wants to think up interesting things to entertain or lighten her mood and show he cares.
He’s focused on her happiness.
He’ll always be thinking about how he can make her happy, make her feel wonderful.
He’ll anticipate her needs and he’ll think outside the box to discover something to tickle her fancy, to make her laugh.
He'll revel in her femininity and thank God every day for his fantastic creation.
Yes, where is this guy? Well, IMO, he’s much more likely to be a Beta than Alpha hero.
Not that Alpha’s, so driven, can’t wake up. The arc just has to be deeper and described (shown) without shortcuts.
Your heroine’s renaissance man awaits the author’s nimble fingers.
One example of the opposite of personal love in a guy is demonstrated by a man who marries or seeks a gal just like good ole’ mom, i.e. hoping his laundry, food etc. is taken care of and his ego is soothed. We all know too many examples of guys who never straighten their room in college or anywhere or anytime else. He’ll wash his car, not the tabletop, because his priorities are ego-centric.
Here’s a kick-ass song by Jennifer Lopez called I Ain’t Your Momma, 2016.
“You’ll want to share something beautiful with him.” (As seen in Hallmark’s October Kiss).
Of course, the nanny wanted to simplify for the girl, but it was obviously emanating from her heart. There's a lot to her words.
Let’s elaborate from the male POV.
A guy’s in love. He wants to share something he finds beautiful with his gal.He wants to think up interesting things to entertain or lighten her mood and show he cares.
He’s focused on her happiness.
He’ll always be thinking about how he can make her happy, make her feel wonderful.
He’ll anticipate her needs and he’ll think outside the box to discover something to tickle her fancy, to make her laugh.
He'll revel in her femininity and thank God every day for his fantastic creation.
Yes, where is this guy? Well, IMO, he’s much more likely to be a Beta than Alpha hero.
Not that Alpha’s, so driven, can’t wake up. The arc just has to be deeper and described (shown) without shortcuts.
Your heroine’s renaissance man awaits the author’s nimble fingers.
One example of the opposite of personal love in a guy is demonstrated by a man who marries or seeks a gal just like good ole’ mom, i.e. hoping his laundry, food etc. is taken care of and his ego is soothed. We all know too many examples of guys who never straighten their room in college or anywhere or anytime else. He’ll wash his car, not the tabletop, because his priorities are ego-centric.
Here’s a kick-ass song by Jennifer Lopez called I Ain’t Your Momma, 2016.
April 17, 2016
Chemistry...
Chemistry, fireworks, head-over-heels, falling, crazy for, mad about, heart pounding, dizzy are all clichés. But what’s a writer to do? Trying to describe that inexorable attraction between a man and a woman is nearly impossible because nobody understands instinct completely and abstractions are at best hazy writing.
Don’t fight the way God made you, enjoy it. Submerge yourself in the feeling, in being human.
Whether a male hero is Alpha, Beta or Gamma, he shares an instinctual preference for the visual. As an example: Two strangers are in close proximity at an event. They keep stealing glances of each other. So much so that they’re both caught. The Alpha must introduce himself or he’ll go crazy. Beta and Gamma may be more reserved, offer rationalizations to themselves or a sidekick. For any man, the instinct to couple with this particular female is as strong as survival. Why? Refer to God.
The guy will notice that she is also interested, perhaps equally interested, since their glances are in sync. That’s important for most men. Thousands of tiny messages are sent between them in split seconds. He will know at a base level that they’d get along fine and he’ll yearn for it. She’d share his passion. Of course, heaped on by society, are tons of ‘must haves.’ A sense of humor, a caring heart, same religion, politics, station in life, you name it. The Alpha has already made up his mind. They will like each other because he knows her before he meets her. None of those societal recommendations are necessary to make a successful couple. However, I hope you write that they’ll both care about their fellow human beings, unless the story is about Bonnie and Clyde.
With the broadest smile, he’ll approach her and she him, like two stars in a tighter and tighter orbit (it won’t take that long) they’ll destroy and remake each other into something greater than 1 + 1 = 2. They’ll never be the same. Th way they saw the world before is forever gone.
Readers have a hard time understanding abstractions and too easy a time with clichés. The writer doesn’t have to answer the why. It’s a given that a man and a woman will fall in love if they’re right for each other. The Alpha will take the lead. He knows her before they speak a word. Like the song says, millions of people walk by but I only have eyes for you.
So how does the romance writer avoid abstractions or clichés? Not entirely possible. Be fresh but completely understandable. If the writer gets this portion of the story right, everything else will fall into place, because the reader will identify with and participate in the feelings the hero and heroine are sharing.
Anybody care to give it a try? It ain’t easy. Would you prefer your reader to fall in love with your characters just as the hero and heroine fall for each other?When something is missing from a character's life, how does he or she seek fulfillment, even if they can't identify the problem or know it exists?
Here's a girl from the wrong side of the tracks, who nonetheless has the same problem we have just discussed, because she has the same instinct as everybody else.
America's SweetHeart, 2016, Elle King:
Don’t fight the way God made you, enjoy it. Submerge yourself in the feeling, in being human.
Whether a male hero is Alpha, Beta or Gamma, he shares an instinctual preference for the visual. As an example: Two strangers are in close proximity at an event. They keep stealing glances of each other. So much so that they’re both caught. The Alpha must introduce himself or he’ll go crazy. Beta and Gamma may be more reserved, offer rationalizations to themselves or a sidekick. For any man, the instinct to couple with this particular female is as strong as survival. Why? Refer to God.
The guy will notice that she is also interested, perhaps equally interested, since their glances are in sync. That’s important for most men. Thousands of tiny messages are sent between them in split seconds. He will know at a base level that they’d get along fine and he’ll yearn for it. She’d share his passion. Of course, heaped on by society, are tons of ‘must haves.’ A sense of humor, a caring heart, same religion, politics, station in life, you name it. The Alpha has already made up his mind. They will like each other because he knows her before he meets her. None of those societal recommendations are necessary to make a successful couple. However, I hope you write that they’ll both care about their fellow human beings, unless the story is about Bonnie and Clyde.
With the broadest smile, he’ll approach her and she him, like two stars in a tighter and tighter orbit (it won’t take that long) they’ll destroy and remake each other into something greater than 1 + 1 = 2. They’ll never be the same. Th way they saw the world before is forever gone.
Readers have a hard time understanding abstractions and too easy a time with clichés. The writer doesn’t have to answer the why. It’s a given that a man and a woman will fall in love if they’re right for each other. The Alpha will take the lead. He knows her before they speak a word. Like the song says, millions of people walk by but I only have eyes for you.
So how does the romance writer avoid abstractions or clichés? Not entirely possible. Be fresh but completely understandable. If the writer gets this portion of the story right, everything else will fall into place, because the reader will identify with and participate in the feelings the hero and heroine are sharing.
Anybody care to give it a try? It ain’t easy. Would you prefer your reader to fall in love with your characters just as the hero and heroine fall for each other?When something is missing from a character's life, how does he or she seek fulfillment, even if they can't identify the problem or know it exists?
Here's a girl from the wrong side of the tracks, who nonetheless has the same problem we have just discussed, because she has the same instinct as everybody else.
America's SweetHeart, 2016, Elle King:
April 9, 2016
Ipanema
I'm on vacation so I thought I'd dust off the following while I'm enjoying some sun shine...
Homage to The Girl From Ipanema sung by Joao Gilberto & various
When I stroll the beaches
for the girl from Ipanema
She is there, really there
I find her in the eyes of girls
in their sway and their swirls
They dance with sand
while the sea plays samba
They touch the waves - mermaids - all
But their eyes seem so familiar
something beats my heart harder
Anywhere a woman sways
her beauty she displays
No matter where I am from
there is always someone
She stands with me, don’t you see
Tall or small or young or older
the girl stands beside me, and I see
When I stroll the beaches
of Ipanema she is there, really there
I find her in the heart of girls
in the way they smile thru their curls
They dance with sand
while the sea plays samba
They touch the waves - mermaids - all
But I notice their eyes
I’ve seen them before
Anywhere a woman walks
The beauty you seek is there
with you now. It’s really there.
Ooh, I walk on gladly
Pulling my arms
she holds on firmly
And I do see - I really see.
April 3, 2016
Doubting Thomas
Doubting Thomas or any other character a writer pens increases when the author is female. No matter the experience. As you may know, my position has always been that a writer is a writer no matter their sex.
Let’s just take one Thomas, for now. He’s trained in logic, the sciences and even understands that the rest of the world prefers to solve problems using emotion. They don’t always get it right. He can describe to them why they’re wrong using Boolean or Aristotelian logic, QED/legal arguments and evidence, scientific principles, the laws of nature and pure insight borne of brilliance why they are wrong. He can lead them to the right spot where the body must be buried but no one wants to lift a shovel.
To the heroine, he’s insufferable. That’s a good thing. But can a female author dawn Spock ears and create a male not driven by emotion seem real or likable? Of course, right your character somewhat emotionally flat with some zany flaw or two and give the job of humanizing him to the heroine.
Why should she want to?
Besides being outrageously handsome, good in bed, he realizes that the best result in life comes from unions. He understands the Golden Rule transcends religion, and that the idea of treating people like you would want to be treated is an a prioritruth and the basis on which all his science lies.
Where’s the change, the arc?
The change can come from compromise. Since a large portion of the world doesn’t believe him, in order to effect change, he must proceed incrementally. Science is sometimes handicapped by current theory, which someday will prove insufficient. The heroine can lead the way. That’s just one take or example.
So if the heroine doubts Thomas or the hero doubts her etc. or if the author doubts her ability to render this rascal, have faith.
Let’s just take one Thomas, for now. He’s trained in logic, the sciences and even understands that the rest of the world prefers to solve problems using emotion. They don’t always get it right. He can describe to them why they’re wrong using Boolean or Aristotelian logic, QED/legal arguments and evidence, scientific principles, the laws of nature and pure insight borne of brilliance why they are wrong. He can lead them to the right spot where the body must be buried but no one wants to lift a shovel.
To the heroine, he’s insufferable. That’s a good thing. But can a female author dawn Spock ears and create a male not driven by emotion seem real or likable? Of course, right your character somewhat emotionally flat with some zany flaw or two and give the job of humanizing him to the heroine.
Why should she want to?
Besides being outrageously handsome, good in bed, he realizes that the best result in life comes from unions. He understands the Golden Rule transcends religion, and that the idea of treating people like you would want to be treated is an a prioritruth and the basis on which all his science lies.
Where’s the change, the arc?
The change can come from compromise. Since a large portion of the world doesn’t believe him, in order to effect change, he must proceed incrementally. Science is sometimes handicapped by current theory, which someday will prove insufficient. The heroine can lead the way. That’s just one take or example.
So if the heroine doubts Thomas or the hero doubts her etc. or if the author doubts her ability to render this rascal, have faith.
March 27, 2016
“You are My Person.”
She couldn’t imagine a better human being. He was not only tall, dark and handsome, for his 26 years he showed an amazing maturity. Driven to love by the golden rule. Funny, empathetic, thoughtful. He was her person. Yet he had so many women chasing him, but he found ways to reassure her during the dating process. Part of what he liked about her, she knew, was her wearing her heart on her sleeve. She accomplished this by communicating through verbal and physical cues. She’d show and tell. Just a reflection of her heart and upbringing.
To him, she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, but her heart far exceeded her beauty.
When the time was right and there was only one girl for him. He brought her to the seductive shores of a Caribbean island.
She must have known. Beaming up at him, she finished her greeting with, “You’re my person. I love you. I love you.”
He had waitied long enough. Down on one knee, he proposed. Her radiant smile lit his world, he would dedicate his life to her, if only she would have him.
She cupped her face, her smile bigger than the sun. “Of course, I will.”
He rose. They embraced.
“I'll have you my whole life. My whole life.”
“Lauren, You’re my person.”
“You’re my person.
“You’re my person," he teased. “I love you.”
March 20, 2016
The Little Nash Rambler
I write, therefore I am.
I’m running out of ideas for how to portray the male POV in fiction.
But.
I published the first (acceptable) 101 blog posts as 101 Tips, Primarily on Writing the Male Characters.I know I can get out 101 more and am more than half-way, but then I’ll either say goodbye to this premise and blog or change its focus. Some men stop and ask for directions. I stop and ask for your advice.
I want to thank my mostly professional RWA women and some men for their support of this blog. For those who are curious about blog effectiveness I can offer my own numbers.
1. I get between 100 to 600 hits a week. I don’t know how to compare this to other blogs, but I’m happy in my own little world.
2. The blog is partially responsible for a Harlequin editor requesting a full manuscript of A More Perfect Union, a somewhat tongue in (cute) cheek, satirical romance in which the male and female nominees for President of the U.S. fall in love.
Okay, Bob; what about the male POV?
Not too many romance authors write male professors or scientists as their heroes because they aren’t typically Alphas. A sensitive, introspective man is better equipped (or educated) to solve the world’s problems, but what about divining a woman’s heart? In sculpting this problem, lies the fun. Are they more likely to be attuned to the feminine mystique or will an arc of story/character-question be your technique?
I’m not always going to suggest you try something different (like a Beta hero). You may be under contract to publish cowboy stories, etc., and that’s great because the truth to any story, no matter how many times and variations in which it is told, is in the development of a character the reader will fall in love with. The development is always unique, but is it unforgettable? You might consider toying with a little role reversal in a character trait or two. More of that next week.
So what is the little Nash Rambler? A song, yes. A way of writing or blogging by rambling, perhaps. A way of looking at male characters in a different light, yes.The Little Nash Rambler is better known as Beep Beep, by the Playmates, 1958. The song is an example of accelerando, in which the tempo of the song gradually increases throughout the song. So goes some romance fiction, if you can picture that. So my fellow writer, can you get your writing out of second gear?
Beep Beep: (If this doesn't click open go to YouTube and search for the song and click on the video with a million+ hits.)
https://video.search.yahoo.com/video/...
I’m running out of ideas for how to portray the male POV in fiction.
But.
I published the first (acceptable) 101 blog posts as 101 Tips, Primarily on Writing the Male Characters.I know I can get out 101 more and am more than half-way, but then I’ll either say goodbye to this premise and blog or change its focus. Some men stop and ask for directions. I stop and ask for your advice.
I want to thank my mostly professional RWA women and some men for their support of this blog. For those who are curious about blog effectiveness I can offer my own numbers.
1. I get between 100 to 600 hits a week. I don’t know how to compare this to other blogs, but I’m happy in my own little world.
2. The blog is partially responsible for a Harlequin editor requesting a full manuscript of A More Perfect Union, a somewhat tongue in (cute) cheek, satirical romance in which the male and female nominees for President of the U.S. fall in love.
Okay, Bob; what about the male POV?
Not too many romance authors write male professors or scientists as their heroes because they aren’t typically Alphas. A sensitive, introspective man is better equipped (or educated) to solve the world’s problems, but what about divining a woman’s heart? In sculpting this problem, lies the fun. Are they more likely to be attuned to the feminine mystique or will an arc of story/character-question be your technique?
I’m not always going to suggest you try something different (like a Beta hero). You may be under contract to publish cowboy stories, etc., and that’s great because the truth to any story, no matter how many times and variations in which it is told, is in the development of a character the reader will fall in love with. The development is always unique, but is it unforgettable? You might consider toying with a little role reversal in a character trait or two. More of that next week.
So what is the little Nash Rambler? A song, yes. A way of writing or blogging by rambling, perhaps. A way of looking at male characters in a different light, yes.The Little Nash Rambler is better known as Beep Beep, by the Playmates, 1958. The song is an example of accelerando, in which the tempo of the song gradually increases throughout the song. So goes some romance fiction, if you can picture that. So my fellow writer, can you get your writing out of second gear?
Beep Beep: (If this doesn't click open go to YouTube and search for the song and click on the video with a million+ hits.)
https://video.search.yahoo.com/video/...
March 13, 2016
Hero and Heroine Don't Understand Each Other
It’s not just the English and Americans who are separated by a common language. The younger the fledgling couple is, the more likely they will miss the cues or clues to understanding each other’s motivations. Empathy and understanding grow with experience, which usually translates into more years on the planet.
Many married couples come to appreciate each other like a fine and aged wine.
Your young hero is built to save the world. Therefore, he’s especially prone to see compromise as weakness. This can ruin a budding relationship in a novel. Think back to all the fights you had with that wrong-for-you prospective mate. Just perhaps, if he or she became thoughtful for only a short while and reflected on the inner motivations of his or her candidate for marriage, a different outcome might have presented itself.
But, it’s dangerous and difficult to write the young hero as precocious in this way. Something about realism. That’s why many use the sidekick/mentor/wizard as a guide to a HEA (happily ever after). Besides, it’s funnier to see a young couple who the reader wants to see succeed; stumble and then the reader can’t wait to see how he/she recovers.
Many married couples come to appreciate each other like a fine and aged wine.
Your young hero is built to save the world. Therefore, he’s especially prone to see compromise as weakness. This can ruin a budding relationship in a novel. Think back to all the fights you had with that wrong-for-you prospective mate. Just perhaps, if he or she became thoughtful for only a short while and reflected on the inner motivations of his or her candidate for marriage, a different outcome might have presented itself.
But, it’s dangerous and difficult to write the young hero as precocious in this way. Something about realism. That’s why many use the sidekick/mentor/wizard as a guide to a HEA (happily ever after). Besides, it’s funnier to see a young couple who the reader wants to see succeed; stumble and then the reader can’t wait to see how he/she recovers.
March 6, 2016
A Diverse Hero or Heroine
We’ve all seen and heard the dissension lately about the lack of diversity on some TV but mostly in the movies. The old way of thinking goes something like the majority of people watching (or reading) are white so give them white heroes and heroines. This has always been short sighted, as so many TV programs have shown. Nowadays, young and new adults are colorblind. The majority of people in the US will soon be non-white, so why not reflect the real needs of Americans.
What about what's right or wrong?
I confess, I marched for civil and equal rights. We older writers might notice things differently than our younger readers. A liberal writer might feel guilty not seeing any other race in the lead role. The same might be said, nowadays, for a cultural conservative. They’d say let the most talented rise to the top. These are people who love Doctor Carson. The point: We all might see color, our younger readers won’t. This is why whoever you write as your hero or heroine, make that person and their problems compelling and be colorblind.
Is the Academy of Arts and Sciences prejudiced in practice? I don’t know.
Is the popular TV franchise the Bachelor/Bachelorette failing to be diverse? I do know. Paul Lee, ABC Entertainment Group President and The Bachelor producer, Mike Fleiss are tweaking the system for choosing the next lead, not by simply picking the one who has the maximum exposure. Near and dear to my heart is the gorgeous half-Filipina woman, Caila, who is expected to get the nod as next Bachelorette. My wife is Filipina. Please know that the show has had many people of color on it, they just haven’t won with the notable exception of another Filipina, Catherine, who married her “Bachelor,” Sean.
Hallmark Romance TV movies (there are hundreds of them) has always had white heroes and heroines. It’s embarrassing (as I have remarked before).
So, consider that your younger hero/heroine is very likely to be colorblind if you tell the story true.
Pitfall for writers: infusing your young characters with the mindset you carried through another era.
What about what's right or wrong?
I confess, I marched for civil and equal rights. We older writers might notice things differently than our younger readers. A liberal writer might feel guilty not seeing any other race in the lead role. The same might be said, nowadays, for a cultural conservative. They’d say let the most talented rise to the top. These are people who love Doctor Carson. The point: We all might see color, our younger readers won’t. This is why whoever you write as your hero or heroine, make that person and their problems compelling and be colorblind.
Is the Academy of Arts and Sciences prejudiced in practice? I don’t know.
Is the popular TV franchise the Bachelor/Bachelorette failing to be diverse? I do know. Paul Lee, ABC Entertainment Group President and The Bachelor producer, Mike Fleiss are tweaking the system for choosing the next lead, not by simply picking the one who has the maximum exposure. Near and dear to my heart is the gorgeous half-Filipina woman, Caila, who is expected to get the nod as next Bachelorette. My wife is Filipina. Please know that the show has had many people of color on it, they just haven’t won with the notable exception of another Filipina, Catherine, who married her “Bachelor,” Sean.
Hallmark Romance TV movies (there are hundreds of them) has always had white heroes and heroines. It’s embarrassing (as I have remarked before).
So, consider that your younger hero/heroine is very likely to be colorblind if you tell the story true.
Pitfall for writers: infusing your young characters with the mindset you carried through another era.
February 28, 2016
Alpha Males and Space
By space, I mean the world the alpha lives in and uses to his advantage. If you’re writing alpha males, you need show this, especially at the beginning of their arc.
As an example, let’s reflect on something most of us have experienced. We get married and then must learn to live with each other’s (silly) habits. Naturally, an alpha male, who knows all, sees his mate’s actions as inferior to his own. He then feels compelled to teach her how to do it right, which can lead to arguments. Most young couples have small kitchens and get in each other’s way. The woman recognizes this but also sees the advantage of intimacy. The alpha will be aggravated until he becomes civilized and begins to see the world through his lover’s/wife’s eyes. Hopefully, all this can be worked out during courtship.
The Lord of the manor yearns to be king.
Does your hero order for both at a restaurant, not consult on where to go on the next date, talk about himself and his aspirations or does he listen, enjoy and support her?
What about alphas who have a strong religious or moral code? The heroine must conform to their way of thinking. Somehow they see last the humanity of the other, in this case, the object of their desire.
These aren’t generally neatniks but more likely control enthusiasts. They don’t care about the things around them as long as the things help them achieve dominance. That is, everything is there for them.
Food for thought: In many Romantic comedies on TV or in the movies the heroine rejects this type of male in favor of someone more loving. In many romance novels, the heroine tolerates and decides to change the Alpha or decides he will change after falling desperately for her. There is no
right and wrong way here. Don’t be lured by the everybody-does-it-that-way argument.
For no particular reason other than education on alphas and that the following song makes my wife laugh:
Justin Bieber, 2016, Sorry
As an example, let’s reflect on something most of us have experienced. We get married and then must learn to live with each other’s (silly) habits. Naturally, an alpha male, who knows all, sees his mate’s actions as inferior to his own. He then feels compelled to teach her how to do it right, which can lead to arguments. Most young couples have small kitchens and get in each other’s way. The woman recognizes this but also sees the advantage of intimacy. The alpha will be aggravated until he becomes civilized and begins to see the world through his lover’s/wife’s eyes. Hopefully, all this can be worked out during courtship.
The Lord of the manor yearns to be king.
Does your hero order for both at a restaurant, not consult on where to go on the next date, talk about himself and his aspirations or does he listen, enjoy and support her?
What about alphas who have a strong religious or moral code? The heroine must conform to their way of thinking. Somehow they see last the humanity of the other, in this case, the object of their desire.
These aren’t generally neatniks but more likely control enthusiasts. They don’t care about the things around them as long as the things help them achieve dominance. That is, everything is there for them.
Food for thought: In many Romantic comedies on TV or in the movies the heroine rejects this type of male in favor of someone more loving. In many romance novels, the heroine tolerates and decides to change the Alpha or decides he will change after falling desperately for her. There is no
right and wrong way here. Don’t be lured by the everybody-does-it-that-way argument.
For no particular reason other than education on alphas and that the following song makes my wife laugh:
Justin Bieber, 2016, Sorry
February 21, 2016
A Tale of Two Loves
Handsome Ben at 26 wants to find the love his parents have. This 6’4” Renaissance man was a star quarterback, loves basketball, and yet is an avid traveler and a champion of varied cultures. He has worked at a zoo in Peru, traveled through the jungles of Bolivia and even hiked the spiritual trails of famed Machu Picchu.
Ben has time off from work now and has committed to focus every day on finding love. He found too much.
One gorgeous woman, Amanda, 25, divorced, with two little girls is compelling with a nurturing, funny personality. Ben's heart, being infinite, has more than enough room for Amanda and her two babies.
The other woman*, Lauren, also 25, is the cutest girl ever. She’s funny and empathetic. Both women live by the Golden Rule.
According to societal rules he must choose one if he wants to be married, (the rare alternative, polygamy, is not attractive to any of them). Therefore, he must shred his own heart, break someone else’s and never look back. Be a man, but it won't be easy.
How can a man or a woman be in love with two? Love is infinite, but earthly life is finite. Think back to the days you were dating and I bet you can identify a point in time where you were uncertain as to which direction to take.
The good news. Dedicating to one person does not mean the other will be miserable forever. A woman with great qualities will get over it and find someone else. Love is infinite.
The great news. Dedicating oneself to finding love is also a matter of education and he's going at it, 24/7. Here the advanced degree on life will reap unending benefits for the couple.
I'm going beyond my simple point to say that his also-rans, girls three and four, were amazing women as well.
*Actually at the time of this writing, there are four women left, so the two I chose, as if I had a vicarious interest are just that, Bob's choices, not Ben's. The four remaining are, each in their own way, terrific catches.
Here's a promo for ABC's The Bachelor that fleshes out my thesis above and gives you a chance to ogle via the privacy of your home computer, Ben Higgins and his possible mates.
Ben has time off from work now and has committed to focus every day on finding love. He found too much.
One gorgeous woman, Amanda, 25, divorced, with two little girls is compelling with a nurturing, funny personality. Ben's heart, being infinite, has more than enough room for Amanda and her two babies.
The other woman*, Lauren, also 25, is the cutest girl ever. She’s funny and empathetic. Both women live by the Golden Rule.
According to societal rules he must choose one if he wants to be married, (the rare alternative, polygamy, is not attractive to any of them). Therefore, he must shred his own heart, break someone else’s and never look back. Be a man, but it won't be easy.
How can a man or a woman be in love with two? Love is infinite, but earthly life is finite. Think back to the days you were dating and I bet you can identify a point in time where you were uncertain as to which direction to take.
The good news. Dedicating to one person does not mean the other will be miserable forever. A woman with great qualities will get over it and find someone else. Love is infinite.
The great news. Dedicating oneself to finding love is also a matter of education and he's going at it, 24/7. Here the advanced degree on life will reap unending benefits for the couple.
I'm going beyond my simple point to say that his also-rans, girls three and four, were amazing women as well.
*Actually at the time of this writing, there are four women left, so the two I chose, as if I had a vicarious interest are just that, Bob's choices, not Ben's. The four remaining are, each in their own way, terrific catches.
Here's a promo for ABC's The Bachelor that fleshes out my thesis above and gives you a chance to ogle via the privacy of your home computer, Ben Higgins and his possible mates.
