Arlene Miller's Blog, page 49

Let’s Have Some Pun!

So let’s have a little pun . . . I mean fun! I don’t know who makes these up, but they are very clever. So . . .

If you can come up with an original pun . . . or more than one . . . please put it in the comments section. I thought of one, so I will put that one after these punny ones! And thank you to my friend Carol Vuillemenot for e-mailing me many of these.

Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!

I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Typo.

 I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.

I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.

 When chemists die, they barium.

 I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.
 

 I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

 Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

 I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

 I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

 Velcro – what a rip off!

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

 

I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.

I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.

I’m emotionally constipated. I haven’t given a shit in days.

My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned: couldn’t concentrate.

Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.

My math teacher called me average. How mean!

Which day do chickens hate the most? Friday.

Did you hear about the Italian chef with a terminal illness? He pastaway.

Last time I got caught stealing a calendar I got 12 months

 

I heard that on the radio. Siriusly? (this one is mine)

 

Surely you can beat these! Send your puns over in the comments section!

 

What Do I Think?

After spending the last two weeks watching political conventions, I thought maybe I should say a few words about them. Well, I don’t remember what I saw at the GOP convention, and I didn’t watch some of the major speeches. However, I saw most of the Democratic convention. I probably should have been taking notes on the grammatical issues, but I didn’t. But here is what I did notice, and what I do think:

“Uniter” of the convention: Sarah Silverman
Most common grammatical error: Confusion between I and Me (I love you anyway, Cory Booker)
Best line of the convention: Don’t Boo! Vote!
Best word of the convention: Malarchy
Speech of the convention: Khizr Khan, father of soldier who died serving the Army after 9/11 attacks

Generally speaking, I thought the grammar was pretty darn good.

A couple of weeks ago I asked you what you thought about certain debatable issues in grammar. I put some of my opinions in that post, but to reiterate — Here is what I think:

The Singular They – I don’t like it, and I won’t use it in writing. I don’t love he or she or his or her either, so I attempt to rewrite to avoid the issue entirely.
It Is Concerning – I don’t like it, although I think it may be okay to use. I will continue to say, “It is of concern.”
It Is Worrying – I say this is wrong. It is worrying implies that maybe my dog or some other it is worrying and has a furrowed brow. I will use It is worrisome or It worries me. 
Funner? When Rachel Maddow said it I am sure she was jesting. She is a Stanford graduate (not that that matters) . . . in any case, it is not a word.
Period at the End of a Text – Frankly, I don’t give a damn — if your text is a sentence long. If you have a long text or tweet of more than a sentence, you are going to have to separate them, and please don’t use a comma! We don’t want a run-on text!
Distinction Between Who and Whom – There is one, there always has been, many people don’t use it correctly, and I will continue to try to use it correctly until 2015 when it is predicted to  “go away.” The simple difference is that who is a subjective case pronoun and whom is an objective case pronoun. So who is used as a subject  and whom is used as an object. The tricky part is figuring out which it is.
Alright and All Right – I will use all right because alright is slangy.
Irregardless – No thanks. Regardless is good enough for me. 
Starting a Sentence with a Conjunction – Personally, I wouldn’t do it in a formal letter, something academic or job related. However, in more informal writing, promotional writing, or creative writing, I would definitely begin a sentence with and or but.
Ending a Sentence with a Preposition – Sometimes I will do it. I won’t say “Where are you at?” I might not even say “Who are you going with?” Well, in speaking, I would and I do! But in writing, I might actually say, “With whom are you going?” 
The Oxford Comma – I like it. I use it. If I am editing a book and the author doesn’t like it. I will not add the Oxford comma. That one is up to you.

Just a reminder that I will be giving a grammar workshop Saturday, August 6, at 1 p.m. at Copperfield’s Books in Petaluma to launch the second edition of The Best Little Grammar Book Ever!  If you have any grammar questions, they will be answered. We will have fun with grammar, and we will have sweet treats too.

http://www.copperfieldsbooks.com/event/grammar-workshop-arlene-miller

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Are You a Phonophile? Part 2

Facebook Friend or Foe?

Last week we had a fun look at the history of the telephone and our dependence on our cell phones – sometimes to the detriment of our safety. This week we will take a slightly more serious look at our phones and other technology — whatever you might use for social media (if you use social media, which most of us do).

Social media. It started out as a way to connect with friends and family who might live too far away to see very often, so we would share photos on Facebook. And before that, young people connected on My Space (remember that?). From Facebook came Twitter and LinkedIn. Twitter is used for short messages and LinkedIn mostly for professional connections. This post will talk about Facebook and Twitter.

Twitter is used by the ordinary and the famous alike. Everyone can now connect with celebrities and send them tweets. Twitter is used for business, for friendship, and now for news. The fastest way to get any news spread around is to put a short tweet out. Then, everybody who sees the tweet can retweet, multiplying by many times the number of people who see the tweet. You can go to Twitter to see what is trending and what the latest news is. Twitter has definitely changed the way news works. And politics. For the first time in history, candidates are waging wars on Twitter. It seems beneath people running for President of the free world to communicate in tweets, but it is happening! We all know that it is a lot easier to say something in a tweet than to say it face to face. Same as a text! Every politician now has a Twitter account or more than one. You can follow anyone you want, and you can send a tweet to any of them. Who would have thought!

Facebook has certainly changed from its beginnings as well. We used to have — if we were lucky — a few close friends and then several close acquaintances. Now we can have as many as 5000 friends! Oh, of course, we don’t know many of these people, but we can call them friends, nonetheless.

ALERT! Hillary Clinton is announcing her VP pick this afternoon, I just heard on TV, initially as a text message! This is definitely a first — and goes right along with this post. Now back to Facebook . . . 

Some people like to know all their Facebook friends, and they keep friends at a minimum. Other people love to have as many friends as possible, some whom they know and others whom they might admire, for example, other writers if you are a writer, artists if you are an artist, etc. Facebook friends might also include radio, TV, and music personalities you might like.

Topics on Facebook have evolved as well. We still communicate with close friends and family, sharing photos: vacations, grandchildren, great food, recipes, and the like. Another common type of posting on Facebook is the inspiration message or beautiful picture with a message. People also, on both personal and business pages, post photos of their new books or paintings or CDs, so Facebook is also used for publicity and sharing one’s accomplishments. Facebook is also used to share news and current events: shootings, earthquakes, fires, etc. And . . . 

With the upcoming controversial presidential election, Facebook has become a platform for various political opinions. Perhaps opinions is too calm a word. People are often waging war about their current political picks. It is often downright nasty. People who have been friends (real friends, not just Facebook friends) for years are discovering they have a real difference of opinion about the issues — and sometimes the friendship is put in peril, or ends completely. It is easy to end a friendship via Facebook. You can “block” the person, which also will unfriend them. You will not be able to see anything they post on Facebook, and they will not see your posts.

There are privacy settings on Facebook that you can adjust. You can post as “public,” meaning anyone can go into your profile and see what you post. You can also make your postings visible to your Facebook friends only, or to your Facebook friends and their friends.

I personally have a public profile. It has presented problems on occasion.

Often a third party will get into your conversation. Sometimes this third party disagrees with you and can be very nasty. You don’t even know this person. Depending on your privacy settings, they might be anyone at all on Facebook, or they might be a friend of a friend. Nonetheless, you can easily block anyone whose posting you find offensive. They are not told you have blocked them, but you won’t see anything they say any longer. 

Oh, yes, of course this mess can be avoided. There are many people who do not post anything or comment on anything controversial or political on Facebook. They mainly post inspirational messages or photos and news about what they are doing. This is a perfectly fine choice. Other people (me) are more outspoken (or unwise?) and do quite a bit of political posting and commenting. This is also a perfectly fine choice if you know the risks: If you have a business, it could be detrimental, or not. I have a business, and I still post and comment on politics constantly, but not at all on my business page. Another risk is someone posting something horrible about you even though they don’t know you. I  recently made a comment about a current news event; I then received a friend request from someone I didn’t know. I looked at her profile and saw that she had not only made a meme of me with something awful written about me, but had found a picture of my daughter and posted that with more offensive comments. I not only blocked her, but complained to Facebook (which you can do), and through that avenue, asked the person to take it down. 

As with texting and e-mail, tweeting and Facebook posting don’t allow message recipients to hear the tone of your voice or your body language, so things might be misconstrued.

I love Facebook . . . and because I work at home, I am always connected, so I use it very frequently! But it does have its perils! Have you lost friends, Facebook or otherwise, this political season?

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Grammar Diva News:

Need a little grammar brush-up?  Have some punctuation or grammar questions? Just love talking about language? Then, come to my Grammar Workshop, which is the launch of my new book: Second Edition of The Best Little Grammar Book Ever: Speak and Write with Confidence/Avoid Common Mistakes.

The workshop will be held on Saturday, August 6, at 1 p.m. at Copperfield’s Books, Kentucky Street in Petaluma, CA. Click here for more information.

 

 

Are You A Phonophile? Part 1

Those were the days!

I am old enough to remember when phones were black with cords (and not even curly cords) and dials (not push buttons). And party lines! What is a party line? Believe it or not, people shared a single phone line with other families, so you could hear the conversation when someone else was using the line! Yup!

Then came the Princess Phone, which was a more modern design  . . .  and with curly cords and pretty colors! And next . . . cordless phones! You could walk around the house talking on the phone without worrying about the cord.

The first “cell” phones were called car phones: big, clunky things in your car that you used for emergencies only. The first actual cell phone I had was a rather large thing paid for by my husband’s (at the time) company. Eventually, cell phones became a little smaller, and voila — the fancy flip phone, mostly made by Nokia, it seemed.

Well, you know what happened after the flip phone. Everyone is making phones, and you have your choice of service providers. Phone apps have been developed into a booming industry of games you can play on your phone. Apple has the iPhone, and Samsung has the Android. Phones become thinner and thinner, with fancy cases — and charging cases, since the phones look good, but don’t seem to hold a charge very long. Maybe that is because they are used so much now. And the screens are getting so large that the original purpose — a phone you can carry around — is  questionable. And the prices!!

You are at a restaurant. Is your phone sitting on the table? You are waiting in a doctor’s office. Are you playing games and ordering things on Amazon while you wait? You are sitting at Starbucks. Is your phone your sole source of companionship as you sip your skinny vanilla latte, add shot, no whip? You are walking down the street. Are you checking your e-mail messages? (Be careful if you are crossing the street.) Do you use your phone as a camera and video camera, and are all your photos online? Do you get nervous if you discover you have left your cell phone home or, God forbid, lost it — or worst of all, put it through the wash?

Yes? You are a phonophile. The suffix -phile means you have a fondness for something (sort of the opposite of phobia). Bibliophiles love books. Audiophiles love stereo equipment. Phonophiles (I made the word up, but it’s pretty good, huh?) just love, love, love their phones. It seems as if the world is made up of two kinds of people: 1) phonophiles and 2) people who don’t have or don’t use cell phones.

Now, one thing you might notice is that hardly anyone is using a cell phone to actually make a phone call. Most people are not talking on the phone. And many of those who are, walk around with a bluetooth, making it appear as if they are talking to themselves as they walk down the street. (Hey, are you talking to me???)

Particularly with millennials, it seems as if texting has pretty much taken the place of actual speech. After you swipe right (or is it left?) and have found your true love, you text them to arrange a date. After several of these dates, you use a text message to break up. It is a whole lot easier to text a breakup message than to actually speak on the phone. Face to face? Forget it! People will text things they would never actually say. And if you put a period after your text, you might be accused of having an attitude.

And the latest (drum roll, please) . . . possibly even more dangerous than staring at your phone as you cross the street: You could now fall off a cliff or get attacked in a rural area . . . if you play Pokemon Go. Yes, such things have happened to these unlucky gamers. The good news: Phonophiles are finally getting some fresh air and exercise. The bad news: You could get killed!

What is Pokemon Go? I don’t really know much about it, but from what I gather (yes, I downloaded it, but I haven’t played it and probably won’t because I had to sign into Google, and I don’t know my password), it is an app where you go searching in the real world for Pokemon characters. Your phone knows your location, and apparently the game uses Google maps to send you to nearby areas to find these characters, which you see only on your phone cameras. I think.

I don’t know whether people will begin to sue the company that developed the app because of injury or loss of life, but this could be a new specialty for personal injury lawyers. Anyone?

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Remember: I will be reading from my latest grammar book — along with three other local writers — at Hot August Nights, sponsored by Redwood Writers, this coming Tuesday, July 19 at 7 p.m. sharp! Hope to see you there.

 

 

 

 

 

 

What Do YOU Think?

As much as we grammarians hate to admit it (some of us, anyway), there are definitely shades of gray, rather than “right-or-wrong” rules in grammar. First of all, there have always been some issues that were debatable. Second, there is a difference between spoken language and written language — or at least between colloquial speech and formal written writing. And then, the whole punctuation thing is eliminated in speech!  Third, things do change, although not really too much. A grammar book from 100 years ago will still do the job today. However, there is some bending of some of the old “rules.”

I thought I would bring up some of these debatable issues and ask what YOU think. You can let me know in the comments section of the post.

I have recently written a post about the singular “they.” It is also covered in my new book. Many grammarians cringe at the thought of using it. I won’t use it, even in speech if I can help it. Is this sentence okay with you? Everyone should eat their fruits and vegetables.
I don’t know if this is correct; it sounds odd to me, and is at least a new usage. Instead of saying “It concerns me” or “It is of concern to me,” people are saying “It is concerning.” Last time I looked it up, concerning was a preposition and not an adjective, although I can certainly see that it could be used as a participle (adjective)  of the verb concern.
Same thing with worry. Instead of saying “It worries me” or “It is worrisome to me,” people are saying “It is worrying.” Now, doesn’t this really mean that your dog (or some other it) is worrying?
Okay. This is just plain incorrect, and no one will convince me otherwise, but I have heard it used by intelligent people on television. I would assume they are intelligent enough to know it isn’t a word, and they are saying it slightly tongue in cheek: Funner ??? Not a word.
When you write a text that is exactly one sentence long, do you use a period at the end? How about if you have a text that is shorter than a sentence? Longer than a sentence?  Now “they” are saying that periods imply a certain attitude. I say if you have a text that is longer than one sentence, you need a period — or at least a semicolon — between them. Now don’t go trying to separate your sentences with commas!
Do you care about the distinction between who and whom? Do you know the difference? Do you care? Would you care if you knew the difference? “They” say that the distinction will be gone by 2025. It is already disappearing. I think it has always been disappearing by those who don’t know the difference.
Alright is in the dictionary and labeled as slang, but I heard that it is creeping into the acceptable words in the language. In speaking, it doesn’t matter because alright and all right sound exactly the same. However, all right has been the acceptable way to spell it regardless of how you use it.
Speaking of regardless, what do you think of irregardless? It is in the dictionary, but its use is frowned upon by most. Why not just use regardless, which means the same thing — and is shorter.
What about starting a sentence with a conjunction, such as and, but, or so? The rule used to be “don’t begin sentences with this type of conjunction.” There has always been license in promotional and creative writing to use this sentence starter. But what about in formal writing? I don’t include the subordinating conjunctions like because and although here, because you can always start sentences with them.
How about ending sentences with prepositions? It is acceptable to do, and most people now do it.  Would you say “With whom are you going” or “Who are you going with”? (which should be whom).
Of course we close with the granddaddy of debates. What about the Oxford, or series, comma? Do you always use it? Never use it? Use it sometimes and not other times? I use it, but if I am editing someone’s book and I see they don’t use it, I don’t add it any longer — that is, unless it is necessary for clarity. However, whichever way you want to go, be consistent in the same piece of writing, so you look as if you know what you are doing. Either use it or don’t . . . but don’t mix it up unless you need to use it a time or two for clarity.

What do YOU think? Comments welcome!

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The Grammar Diva News

Fellow writer Marlene Cullen was kind enough to print a post and publicize my new book in her The Write Spot Blog. Check out the post and check out her blog!

I will be reading from my new book, the Second Edition of The Best Little Grammar Book Ever! at Hot August Nights, sponsored by Redwood Writers at Copperfield’s Books, Montgomery Village, Santa Rosa, on Tuesday, July 19, at 7 p.m. sharp! Come hear me and three other incredible writers read from our books. There are two other such evenings with yet other great writers: this coming Tuesday (12th) and the Tuesday following the 19th (26th).

The launch of my new book will take place with The Best Little Grammar Workshop Ever! on Saturday, August 6, at 1 p.m. at the Petaluma Copperfield’s Books. We will have refreshments and fun. If you need a little grammar brush-up or you have any grammar questions, please sign up and come on down!

If you have bought my new book (or have a PDF you requested), please submit a short review to Amazon. It is greatly appreciated!!!!!!

Very, Very, Very, Very Dead Words!

 

To be honest, the first time I ever heard the term “dead word” was when my daughter was in seventh grade, and her English teacher had dead words hanging from the ceiling of the classroom. A dead word is one that is overused and has lost its punch; therefore, dead words should be avoided as much as possible.

Probably the all-time deadest of words is a lot or, incorrectly, alot. If you must use it, at least use it as two separate words. Other dead words include nice and good, which are dull. Fun is another one and, of course, the trite awesome and cool, which I do tend to use (for shame!).

Most dead words are “describing” words — adjectives and adverbs. Others, like said and have to are verbs.

A couple of dead adverbs are really and very, which are dreadfully (or should I say deadfully) overused, sometimes even used twice in a row! (imagine! very, very good; really, really fun)

A few weeks ago, I received an e-mail from Luke Palder, who runs ProofreadingServices.com. He said his group had devised an infographic with 128 words to use instead of the dead very. He thought I might be interested in posting it for you. So, even though he has a copyeditor/proofreader business, making us friendly competitors of a sort, of course I will share with you his infographic!

However, as you see, it is too small to read, and I am not techie enough to fix it, so here is the link to find this “very” useful infographic with all types of words you can use to avoid very and make your writing more interesting!

Click here to enlarge the infographic!

And now you can bury very . . . RIP very, really, a lot, nice, fun, good, said, have to, awesome, cool, and the rest of you.

And thank you, Luke Palder and the people at Proofreading Services.

The Full Stop: Is It Making a BREXIT?

In Britain it is sometimes called the Full Stop.  We know it as the Period. There have been numerous articles lately about the demise of this punctuation mark, and someone asked me to write about what I thought.

The whole thing pretty much started with texts and people not using periods in texts. It went even further in that the period, when used, began to add a whole different slant to a text. A text saying Fine had a different emotion behind it than a text saying Fine. You can probably hear the snarkiness when you say Fine with a period after it. (You probably hear a teenage voice, or maybe your spouse’s) I actually cannot think of other words or phrases or sentences where the period would invite that interpretation. But if you want to want to write a text of one word or one phrase or one sentence, and you don’t want to use a period —  well — fine.

So that is my opinion on the matter. Texts are short. If you write something that is a sentence or shorter, no one will be confused, so leave off the period for all I care. Same for Tweets, although their composition is somewhat more complicated with links and web addresses and all.

Speaking of web addresses . . . sometimes a period can actually make things more complicated. If you are writing a sentence with your e-mail address at the end, do you put a period? Or will someone think that the period belongs at the end of the e-mail address? (Well, I know that WE wouldn’t be confused, but it could happen!)

My e-mail address is theendoftheperiod.com OR My e-mail address is theendoftheperiod.com.

Ten years ago, where where texting and Twitter? Ten years from now, where will they be? Communication methods are moving so fast that we might be writing only in long paragraphs ten years from now. Who knows? It would be a shame to have gotten rid of the period and then find we need it again.

But seriously. The bulk of what we write is made up of more than one sentence. I don’t think many people think it’s a good idea to rid our writing of periods. For one thing, the writing would be harder to read. The purpose of punctuation, after all, is clarity and ease of reading, not to litter our writing with dots and dashes. Using commas instead —  or  dashes — wouldn’t solve any problems. The period isn’t being singled out for punishment. If we are going to use punctuation between sentences as a full stop, we might as well stick with the period. Yes, I know people have been using the comma for that for years, but that is a comma splice and it’s incorrect.

Let’s talk about abbreviations for a moment because periods often make it known that something is an abbreviation. A company called ABC Inc is different from a company called ABC, Inc. The Inc. with the period shows us that it is an abbreviation for incorporated. What about Inc? Maybe it’s just Inc and not Incorporated. Periods signal that a word is an abbreviation. In. meaning inch gets a period so it isn’t confused with the preposition in (I need a period here!).

So, what do I think of the demise of the period. I think it has been greatly exaggerated! Try writing a letter without periods between your sentences. Or a book. I don’t think so. Write a text or a Tweet or a short Facebook message without a period. Fine.

There’s formal language and there is colloquial language. Periods are not going anywhere in formal language.  Trust me 

 

 

 

 

Just A Few Things About Apostrophes

Apostrophe Love

Last week’s post talked about some issues with possessives. This related post talks about some common issues with our friend —  the apostrophe.

Contractions Versus Possessives

Two of the most common blunders we see are the your/you’re and the its/it’s confusion. I think much of the time the use of the incorrect choice is a typo. However, if it isn’t, we can clear it up with a simple rule. These two words                are not exceptions.

Contractions: ALL contractions have apostrophes. That is the whole purpose of a contraction, or a shortened version of a couple of words. The apostrophe takes the place of the missing letter: I’m for I am, we’re for we are, don’t for do not. And yes, you’re for you are and it’s for it is.
Possessive Pronouns: Your and its are possessive pronouns, not contractions. And none of the possessive pronouns have apostrophes: ours, yours, hers, theirs, his.  

So . . . it’s is a contraction and has an apostophe like all contractions. Its is possessive, and has no apostrophe, like all other possessive pronouns. Same for your and you’re.

Plurals

Another issue with apostrophes is putting them in plurals. Now we know (don’t we?) that we do not use an apostrophe to make a noun plural. Apostrophes in nouns make them possessive.  But questions often arise about using apostrophes with plurals of letters, numbers, symbols, and abbreviations.

Letters: You do not need to use an apostrophe with the plurals of uppercase letters except A, I, and U, which could be mistaken for As, Is, and Us: Bs, Ps and Zs are fine without apostrophes. The letter is italicized, but the s is not. For lowercase letters, it is often clearer to use an apostrophe: p’s and q’s.

Numbers: You do not need an apostrophe in plural numbers: 2s, 1900s, 60s. I would think you could use an apostrophe is a single number like 2, but you don’t need to. 

Symbols: Once again, you don’t need to use an apostrophe in a plural symbol: $s, &s. But you can if you want to.

Abbreviations: Abbreviations that are uppercase do not need apostrophes: ABCs, PTAs, YWCAs. 

Grammar Diva News

Having fun doing a couple of guest presentations for a business bootcamp for ages 14-27. These kids are great and know their grammar! Very important for entrepreneurs to know how to write!

Need a little grammar help now and then??? Know someone who does??? Maybe you just love grammar???

The new edition of The Best Little Grammar Book Ever! is now available on Amazon, Kindle, Nook, Kobo, Smashwords, and most other book and ebook retailers. You can order it from your local bookstore or perhaps find it  (soon) at Copperfields Books in Sonoma County, CA.

Reformatted
New information
Expanded section on commas

We always appreciate your reviews on Amazon (or wherever you get your books) for this book and any other of my books that you may have. Thank you!

 

 

 

 

Are You Possessed?

The possessive. Simple. You add an apostrophe and an s to a word and you have the possessive, right? Boy becomes boy’s for the singular possessive and boys’ for the plural possessive:

This is the boy’s bicycle.
These are the boy’s bicycles.

We will forget that many people (no, not us!) put those apostrophes in plurals, but the plural of boy is boys, not boy’s!

We will also forget that when you have a word that already ends in s, you still add an apostrophe and an s, except that some people don’t do that, and some people say its okay:

This is James’s bicycle.
This is James’ bicycle.

I do it the first way, which I believe is preferred. However, when you have a word that ends in -es and it is pronounced as -ez, you don’t add the extra s:

These are Socrates’ words.

And we don’t add the extra s with Jesus:

These are Jesus’ words.

But today we are talking about two other possessive issues. 

Which One Do We Use?

 Let’s say we are talking about the Blake County Writers Club. Or is it the Writer’s Club? Or is it the Writers’ Club? 

Writers Club – We aren’t using Writers as a possessive noun at all, but as an adjective describing the club.
Writer’s Club – The club begins to each writer individually.
Writers’ Club – The club belongs to all the writers.

Most people agree that either writers or writer’s is acceptable.

But let’s talk about the restroom. On the door of the restroom, we often have Ladies on one door and Men on the other door. They are both plural nouns. No problems. (OK, maybe there is a problem, but I am not talking about new laws.)

When we talk about these rooms, we are likely to say Ladies Room and Mens Room. But we cannot spell them that way, can we? Look at mens. Men is already plural. We cannot add an s to it; mens isn’t a word. We need to make it possessive if is going to have an extra s. Men’s Room is plural possessive, which if you look above at Writers Club is not one of the preferred spellings. We  never say Man’s Room, which is equivalent to Writer’s Club. It just sounds weird. So the equivalent of Writers Club or Ladies Room is Men Room. That sounds very strange, yet they are all plurals, no possessive. Just something to think about!

Two Owners

Another possessive issue is with a two separate owners: 

John’s and Mary’s new car is bright red.
John and Mary’s new car is bright red.

Which is it? It is the second one. Now look at these examples:

John’s and Mary’s new cars are bright red.
John and Mary’s new car is bright red.

So if they both share ownership of the same item, we make only the second one possessive. If we are talking about separate items that they own, we make each one possessive.

Here is another little issue that really has nothing to do with possession, but I was reminded of it while writing this post:

All six bridesmaids wore a yellow dress at the wedding. (Can you picture all six of them squeezing into that one yellow dress?)
All six bridesmaids wore yellow dresses at the wedding. (Ah! Much more comfortable!)


Grammar Diva News

The second edition of The Best Little Grammar Book Ever! is now available in paperback from Amazon and all other online booksellers. You can also order the book from your local bookstore. 

The Kindle version is also now available. The e-book will also be available on all other readers in ????  – a short while!

Lower Prices on Kindle! 

The prices on all my Kindle books have been lowered! Check it out!

Grammar Workshop

To launch my new book, I will be presenting a grammar workshop at Copperfield’s Books in Petaluma on Saturday, August 6, at 1 p.m. Be there! You know it will be fun! Books will be available at the store if you would like to buy one.

 

 

 

Speaking of Spelling . . .

During last week’s Scripps National Spelling Bee in Washington DC, the youngest participant ever, a six-year- old first grader from Texas, correctly spelled inviscate, but was tripped up by bacteriolytic, in which he substituted an a for the 0. Nonetheless, he received a standing ovation from the other contestants. And some first graders are just beginning to learn their letters!

To further illustrate the range of spelling prowess (and not), an article this week reported that these five words are most commonly misspelled by men in online dating profiles:

bachelor – It does kind of sound like there should be a t in there. And maybe -er at the end.
accommodate – This is a tough one for lots of people, but you just need to remember there are two c‘s, two m‘s and two o‘s.
dysfunction (spelled with dis-) – I have no idea why anyone would even put this word in a dating profile!
independent (spelled with -ant at the end)
misspell – Again, what is this word doing in a dating profile? Just remember, there are two s‘s, one for the prefix mis- and one for the word spell.

So what makes some people good spellers? A combination of things.

Spelling knowledge is stored in a part of the left brain called the orthographic long-term memory.
The ability to match sounds to letters, so that you might make a good try at spelling something, is done by yet another part of the left brain.
Regardless of which way you do it, you need to hold the letters in your mind, convert them into names, and produce them in the right order. That is orthographic working memory.
Serious, competitive spellers, like those in the spelling bee, practice a lot – several hours a day.
Serious, competitive spellers often have coaches.
Good spellers are generally good at patterns.
Good spellers probably read a lot.
Good spelling entails memorization as well. Knowing how sounds are spelled in various languages is a crucial part of the National Spelling Bee. Participants always ask the etymology of a word. If a word originates from the French, a long a sound is apt to be spelled et, as in ballet.

Getting back to this year’s National Spelling Bee, for the third year in a row, the contest ended in a tie, producing co-champions. This year, the champs were thirteen and eleven, the eleven-year-old being the youngest winner in the competition’s 91-year history.

The final words this year were Feldenkrais and gesellschaft, allowing the two boys to beat out almost 300 contestants.

It is apparent that the words get more difficult every year. In 1925, the first year of the bee, the winning word was the rather simple gladiolus. In the 1930s, winning words were as simple as knack, torsion, deteriorating, and sanitarium. In the 1940s spellers won with therapy, initials, and psychiatry . A cinch!

In the 1950s fairly simple words like vignette and condominium were joined by more obscure words like soubrette, crustaceology, and syllepsis. Some words of the 1960s were esquamulose, sycophant, and Chihuahua. Vouchsafe and narcolepsy were words received by some rather fortunate winners in the 1970s.  In the 1980s words ranged from the rather simple luge to the rather tricky elegiacal. The 1990s decade was full of interesting words including kamikaze, xanthosis, antediluvian, and chiaroscurist.

The 21st century words definitely stepped it up a bit. Here are some of the winning words: succedaneum, autochthonous, Ursprache, guerdon, feuilleton, and scherenschnitte.

Speaking of spelling: The AP (Associated Press) announced this week that internet and web would no longer be spelled with an initial capital letter –  due to the fact that the words are now commonplace. We don’t know yet how the Chicago Manual of Style feels about it. My advice? Lowercase them.

Grammar Diva News
Available this week!

Kindle Version: Available June 4.

Paperback Version: Next week sometime

Amazon description: This is a new edition of this bestselling book. “The Best Little Grammar Book Ever” was originally published in 2010. Since then it has sold thousands of copies and received great reviews from its users, which include schools, colleges, and professional writers. The aim of the book was to solve those common grammar, punctuation, and word usage issues that stump us all. This second edition has been reformatted and updated with some new grammar standards and additional information, including an expanded section on comma use. The book also includes an introduction to basic grammar, lists of commonly misspelled and mispronounced words, a writing lesson, a final test, and a complete index. The first book in a series of three, “The Best Little Grammar Book Ever!” will be followed by “The Best Little Grammar Workbook Ever!” and “The Best Little Book of Confused Words and Phrases!”