Rob Smyth's Blog, page 56
April 21, 2023
Arsenal 3-3 Southampton: Premier League – as it happened
Arsenal scored two very late goals to rescue an astonishing game, but a draw wasn’t much good to either side
“Very stressed about this one,” says Rachel Clifton, and she’s not talking as an Arsenal fan. “At least it’s a gorgeous spring day in nyc (that I am missing to sit inside the pub to watch the football obvs).”
“Rob, I assume that you have an army of sulky interns who do your bidding, as you sit back in your easy chair and watch the game while sipping something enjoyable?” says Charles Antaki. “If so, you might get them to look out one of those ‘Game Over!’ gifs from old video games to play when Arsenal go 3-2 down after being 2-0 up. Just to beat the rush, I’m getting my fatalism in now.”
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Football Daily | Manchester United’s inability to handle the hotter kitchens in football
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With the possible exception of overtaking Roy Keane and gleefully unfurling your middle finger a split-second before realising it’s him, nothing in football tests nerve and moral fibre quite like a tough away fixture. Manchester United’s results against the top nine in the Premier League this season make for a grisly character reference: 0-4, 3-6, 1-3, 2-3, 0-7, 0-2. (Yes, sure, they won 2-1 away to 10th-placed Fulham, but that’s got nothing to do with the narrative we’re peddling here.) Six games, six defeats, 25 goals conceded and a general acceptance that United can’t handle football’s hotter kitchens. On Thursday night in Seville, they gave the most emphatic response to such slurs by folding just as miserably against the 13th-best team in Spain!
Corsham Town, of the Hellenic Premier League, have been forced to play nine games in 21 days to complete their fixtures. An amazing FA Vase run to the semi-final has meant an impossible end-of-season promotion push: three games a week in the last three weeks, with the last five games in nine days. Why not an extension to the season? It’s happened before. Has anyone else got similar stories?” – Mike Smith [we’ll point you the way of Sandhurst Town – Football Daily Ed].
As a West Ham supporter, I hope Chelsea’s radical strategy of appointing whoever was in charge four gaffers ago doesn’t catch on” – Steve Butler.
Just catching up on Wednesday’s Football Daily (full email edition) and the piece about UCLA developing a robot that can kick a ball while withstanding shoves. If they want to develop a modern footballer robot, surely it should collapse in a heap on the floor at the merest brush of a feather?” – Brendan Mackinney.
Nice to see a picture of Neil Pointon in the Memory Lane section of yesterday’s Football Daily (full email edition). A few years ago, I had to do a talk at work about some excruciatingly dull aspect of law. I decided to engage the audience by throwing in an early zinger, and my first slide featured a photo of ‘Dissa’ next to one of Paul Power, teeing up the, ahem, hilarious intro: ‘My presentation is all about Everton left-backs of the 1980s. It’s a Power-Pointon presentation.’ Nothing. Absolutely nothing. They didn’t deserve me” – Andy Korman.
This is an extract from our daily football email … Football Daily. To get the full version, just visit this page and follow the instructions.
Continue reading...April 18, 2023
Napoli 1-1 Milan (1-2 agg): Champions League quarter-final, second leg – as it happened
Milan reached their first Champions League semi-final since 2007 in a match notable for two penalty saves and a spectacular Rafael Leao assist
The atmosphere in Naples, as you can probably imagine, is quite something.
Napoli v Milan: 1988-89
Continue reading...Football Daily | In the bowels of Stamford Bridge, it seems, there isn’t much looking glass
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Football Daily has spent the last few days enjoying a right good laugh at the expense of Chelsea co-owner Todd D’oh!ly. Yes, he’s sitting on $5.3bn, which is about £500, and we’re wrestling with the big questions of 2023 (bread or spread?). But just look at the state of this philanthropic multi-billionaire! As Chelsea prepare for a season-defining Big Cup match against Real Madrid, most of the talk is not of the players, or Frank Lampard’s win percentage in his second spell as manager, or even his draw percentage. It’s D’oh!ly, whose dressing-room pep talk after the defeat by Brighton on Saturday has leaked faster than b@nterous first-leg predictions from his overenthusiastic mouth. D’oh!ly reportedly called Chelsea’s season “embarrassing”, after which, according to the National Grid, there was a surge in pot/kettle analogies, and singled out one player – bought for big money in the last 12 months, and yes this stuff does write itself – for criticism. In the bowels of Stamford Bridge, it seems, there isn’t much looking glass. D’oh!ly’s combination of enthusiasm, power and ignorance are in danger of setting USA! USA!! USA!!!-UK football relations back 20 years, and they weren’t exactly thriving before he invited Jesse Marsch to hold his watery beer.
So, Todd Boehly chats to the players after every game. Perhaps he could spare a minute to chat to us Chelsea fans – we’d love to hear the thinking behind buying an unmanageably large squad, but no one to score a goal, and having more managers in a season than Roman Abramovich could have dreamed of” – Mike Davis.
After the weekend’s usual video-based officiating shenanigans, my son and I have decided to tentatively punt a better alternative. Rather than referring to a bunch of people in a shed, we humbly suggest referring to an ordinary football-watching person on a sofa with their Tin – arguably a better-versed authority – for a decision following several replays. It, of course would be known as BAR” – Peter Logan.
This is an extract from our daily football email … Football Daily. To get the full version, just visit this page and follow the instructions.
Continue reading...April 16, 2023
Nottingham Forest 0-2 Manchester United: Premier League – as it happened
Antony and Diogo Dalot scored as injury-hit United outclassed Forest at the City Ground
You’d expect United to dominate the ball today. But Forest’s front two of Taiwo Awoniyi and Brennan Johnson are extremely dynamic, and they will trouble United’s makeshift, slowish defence on the break. Casemiro’s battle with the excellent Morgan Gibbs-White will also be fascinating.
Bruno Fernandes on Bruno Fernandes
Continue reading...April 15, 2023
Chelsea 1-2 Brighton, Tottenham 2-3 Bournemouth, and more: clockwatch – as it happened
Julio Enciso’s stunning goal gave brilliant Brighton a deserved win, while Dango Ouattara stunned Spurs in injury time
“Hi Rob,” says Gary Stover. “Chelsea are not favourties at home v Brighton. Transfermarkt value of the Chelsea players is 1+ billion euros; transfermarkt value of the Brighton players is 358 million euros. Could it be that the Chelsea players are ridiculously overvalued?”
Either that or Chelsea have 474 first-team players, which pushes the cumulative value up a bit.
Continue reading...April 11, 2023
Manchester City 3-0 Bayern Munich: Champions League quarter-final, first leg – as it happened
Erling Haaland made one and scored one as City overwhelmed Bayern in the last quarter of the first leg at the Etihad
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The past is a foreign country. OR IS IT?
Continue reading...Football Daily | Pep Guardiola and City’s love-hate-need Big Cup relationship
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Triumph and disaster. That’s how Kipling described “life’s two impostors” in the most quoted line from If, his paean to equanimity. But sod him, because a) it says here he’s been cancelled and b) he died in 1936 and therefore knows the square root of bugger all about Big Cup. Goodbye triumph and disaster, hello “visionary genius and bald fraud”. Those are the impostors Pep Guardiola will be wrestling with in the next few weeks as he tries to finally win Big Cup with Manchester City, a journey (drink two fingers) that resumes against Bayern Munich at the Etihad tonight.
Continue reading...April 9, 2023
Leeds United 1-5 Crystal Palace: Premier League – as it happened
The brilliant Michael Olise made three goals as Palace came from behind to demolish Leeds in an extraordinary second half
3 min “Leeds fan in south of France here,” says Jeremy Boyce. “Good to see the sun’s out at Fortress Elland, was Roy just having his after lunch nap there? Like a horse, standing up? The Peacocks seem to have got some mojo back under Javi, today could be key in their pursuit of points, it’s all looking better since Mr Skinny Pants left, three points today could make all the difference. Looks like the going is good, so let’s get going!”
2 min: Just wide from Sinisterra! An early chance for Leeds. Ayling’s cross from the right was sliced wretchedly by Guehi on the edge of the box. The ball ran across the area to Sinisterra, who took a touch and whistled a low drive back across goal that went this far wide.
Continue reading...April 8, 2023
Wolves 1-0 Chelsea, Spurs 2-1 Brighton and more: Premier League clockwatch – as it happened
Matheus Nunes’s screamer saw off Chelsea, Spurs rode their luck to beat Brighton and Villa jumped to sixth in the table
GOAL! Celtic 3-1 Rangers (Jota 73) Celtic are heading another Old Firm derby win and, surely, their 11th title in 12 years.
Eddie Howe had a big call to make, and he’s made it: the in-form Alexander Isak starts up front ahead of the in-front Callum Wilson.
Continue reading...Rob Smyth's Blog
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