Heather Dixon Wallwork's Blog, page 14

Train Stories

Things have been kind of crazy lately.

A lot of that has been due to "Illusionarium," the book I've been working on these past few years.  It's nearing the end stages of development.

 
It's about some kids who get the holy tar beaten out of them....the way a good, decent, God-fearing children's book ought to be.  It should be out in a year or so.
(I know that's forever away.  I'm a slow writer.)
A lot of the writing I do takes place on the train.  Since I have to commute into the city for my day job, I get up really early--about 4 am--hop on the first train, and ride it to Ogden, then to Provo, then back to Salt Lake.  


When I get off from work, I ride it from endline to endline again, typing the whole time.  It's pretty much become my second home.


In fact, I've gotten to know all the little secrets.

For example, the train has 3 really nice, new cars--


...And one really old, horrible, creaky, leaky car affectionately called the "Cattle Car."


No one ever rides the Cattle Car....except me.


...which makes me the train creeper!  hahaha!!

The fancy cars are constantly blowing freezing air on you...but if you feel the walls of the Cattle Car...



...you can find some toasty hotspots.  It's the best.



I know some other pretty nifty secrets, too.  I swear there is an abandoned grand piano sitting on the hill between the Draper and Thanksgiving Point stations.  No idea how it got there.

 
 One night I nearly missed my stop, and in my haste I left the Illusionarium manuscript w/the editor's feedback on the train.  Oops.  I guess some lucky train person got to read Illusionarium early!


...as well as everything that's wrong with it.

 My best train story though happened one freezing cold night last February.


The train had just pulled into the Provo station, like it always does, and I waited in the Cattle Car, like I always do, for it to reverse and head back to the Ogden station, which it always will.


I guess I must've been pretty into the story, because I didn't notice how the whole train had emptied and sat at the station for a good 40 minutes like that...

...until the lights went out.


...and the train s-l-o-w-l-y chugged out of the station.  In the wrong direction.


It stopped a while later, in the middle of an abandoned railyard...


...in the middle of nowhere.


I, um.  I wasn't quite sure what to do.


 Everyone was gone.


The door was locked, so I couldn't get out.


There wasn't anyone, or anything, that I could see outside the window.  Only the frozen railyard.

I decided that maybe I should just keep working until they put the train back at the station.





I had a good cry.

It didn't really help.*

*crying only helps if you do it in front of someone...dang it.

It also didn't help that I needed to go to the bathroom!

Desperation led me to do the one smart thing I'd thought of all night...look up the train's website online and call their customer service.


...which was closed.




We really don't need to see this.

I don't know how long I remained huddled in the cattle car...maybe an hour longer or so...before I somehow found the emergency number for the entire public transportation system...


A very nice lady assured me that someone would be there very soon.


Very, very soon.


At least within the next several hours. 




 


THEY FOUND ME!!!!!!!!



Hurrah!!


I was saved!!!




I followed them for what seemed like forever, out of the creepy lone railyard and back to the station, where another train would soon be headed north.



Needless to say, I was pretty darn happy I'd been rescued.


In fact it was probably the happiest day of my life.


In fact, I think I'll ride the train...forever! <3 <3 <3

FYI, this draft of Illusionarium turned out to be rather dark and violent.  I can't for the life of me figure out why. 

Frozen Coloring Contest--The Vinnahs!

 At last, the results are in!  Thank you so much, everyone, for being so patient.  One of these days life won't be so crazy!

I always get gunshy about coloring contests because I feel like everyone did such a good job, and it's hard to pick just one.  To help me, the judging process was aided by my talented artist coworkers.  I asked them which pictures stood out the most to them, and we went from there.  Needless to say, it was a hard decision!

And now, the winners!


 First place goes to Chiara!  Winner winner chicken dinner!  Congrats, Chiara!

And of course, we would be remiss if we didn't make note of the honorable mentions:





 Honorable mentions will get a beaded bookmark.  If you are a fella, I'll be sure to make it a manly bookmark :D  I'll be in touch with you all Soon!

And, because I think they were all so lovely, I'm including the rest of the entries below, if you want to take a look.  I've blurred out the emails, but if you're shy about your artwork being posted, let me know and I can remove it.  But don't be shy--they look lovely!  Shout out to the Gilbert Blythe and Joker ones ^_^
  

7 Brothers for 7 Brides

Hey you crazy kids!  Thank you so much for all the coloring book entries.  They look incredible!  Right now I'm going through the deciding process, but you can expect the results to be announced in a few days.

In the meantime...

A week or so ago, I saw my 11-year-old cousin perform in his school play, "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers."  It was adorable.



He played Caleb.
During the scene changes I got to thinking.  I got to thinking, how much cooler would the play be if it was switched around?  If it was Seven Brothers for Seven Brides??
I can see this going places.  Right now...it's going on my blog!

Starring:  Abigail, Bathsheba, Chastity, Dorcus, Eve, Faith, and Grace.
Who wouldn't want to marry them?
So, these ladies live out in the middle of nowhere on a farm, raising pigs and such, independent, strong-willed, and most definitely not needing any men.


Until...



 EEEEEEEEP!






Abigail surmises the spider situation.








What's a girl to do??

I'll tell you what's a girl to do.  A girl's to get a gun and a burlap sack, that's what a girl's to do.


Shhh....







And on the other side of town...






And then.






Why do I think this is so funny??  I'm a horrible person.





The Escape!









I'm not quite sure what happens after this, or how it will all end.  I like it to think it'll be like the play--they all fall in love with their kidnappers and live happily ever after.


In a horrible twisted way, it's kind of sweet.
Or it could have ending number 2:

After the long winter the boys get an attorney and sue the holy carp out of the ladies for the terrible emotional trauma they were put through.
I don't like that ending very much.
How about ending number 3??


Everyone bands together to fight off the army of massacring spiders!  Danger!  Excitement!  Romance!  In this epic 8-hour adventure of love and war!
(This ending is my favorite.)
And, ending number 4:

The spiders eat all of them.

I don't like that ending AT ALL. :(

What ending is your favorite?  Or is there an ending that's even better than all of these?  I must hear it.

FROZEN Coloring Contest!

I think it's high time for a coloring contest!

Here's a coloring page of Hans and Anna's wedding day.  And here are the instructions!

1) Print out page
2) Color.  The contest closes on Easter Sunday, April 20th.  So you have about a month!
3) Scan or take a picture, and send it to me at storyboarder@gmail.com (with "coloring page" as the title of the email)
4) Wait to see if you win the awesome prize.

And what is that awesome prize, m'friends?  I must've been pretty excited for the Art of Frozen to come out, so I pre-ordered it...three times.  I returned one, but decided to keep one as a prize for this contest.


This delicious book could be yours.
AGE is optional, mostly for if you're like 8 years old and are an amazing artist, that will definitely be taken into account.YES, this is open to international colorers!

Banana Conspiracy

Every. Time.


*     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *

POST SCRIPT:  What, another post about sentient fruit?  This blog is getting pathetic!

Chitty Triptych

Do you love Chitty Chitty Bang Bang?
I do.
Not long ago I went to "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang" (the play) with a few friends.  It was just fanastic!!  I've been thinking about Truly Scrumptious ever since.





Edit:  Actually, it's Caratacus I've been thinking about ever since I saw the play.  That man is DREAMY. <3 <3

Time for Limes

This dream was brought to you by stress, a slight cold, and the whipped cream that I'd accidentally left out of the fridge all day and then devoured like a baby bird.

Train Probability

DANGIT.

Cold Weather Camping

 I work with a lot of guys, which means I get to hear some pretty good scout camp stories.

The best ones involve fire, infectious diseases, and cold-weather camping.

My director once told a story about how he went snow caving.


He got pretty good and sweaty digging the cave, so when he went to bed that night, he laid his pants out to dry.




Of course they froze stiff overnight...so not only did he have to wear wet pants, but they were freezing.



This was the exact moment he decided to become an artist.


On the other hand, I have a buddy (Joe) who loves cold-weather camping.  It's like his favorite thing.  He could survive a winter in the Yukon with only a plastic bag and a dead bee.  When he became a scout leader, he was really excited to show the little guys the ropes.

So, when it was time to take the little fellas on a cold-weather camping trip, they had a meeting where they briefed the boys on what to bring.  Joe, being the expert, wanted to make sure they brought all the right clothes.


The meeting was in February.  Most of the boys were wearing shorts and no jackets.  Joe decided this was a good time to have an object lesson.




 Out in the freezing cold of the parking lot, Joe launched into a giant lecture on how to dress warm...



And the scouts were like:

guh guh guh guh guh guh guh
And the other leader was like:

guh guh guh guh guh guh guh 
 ...And Joe was like, great!  I've hoped you've all learned you don't wanna be out in the cold without a coat!

Several days later, they were on their way!


Joe and the scouts stepped out into the blistering cold.  One of the leaders stepped out of his car...


...and promptly got back in his car, and left.


Aaaaaand...the rest of the weekend pretty much went like that.







Addendum to this story:  Joe's just entered a contest to run a bunch of sled dogs over the Arctic Circle. 

not this
this

The competition is sponsored by a Norwegian company, Fjallraven, which sells coats and stuff.  Every year they pick 2 people from each country around the world to compete.  They give them all the right equipment, they give them the dogs and the sleds, and then they set 'em all loose in the outer regions of the world.

This sounds like a nightmare.  (To me.)
Joe thinks it would be a blast.  So, I'm not gonna twist your arm or anything, but if you want to vote for Joe you can go here.  You can vote through facebook.  If it gets enough attention, the Fjallraven people will pick him!
VOTE FOR JOE

Do it for the dogs.  (I hear Americans are pretty tasty.)

I'm a Jerk (Trunk or Treat edition)

My neighborhood did a Trunk or Treat this year.
I have Views about Trunk or Treats.  But I like my neighbors.  What a quandary!
(I decided to go.)
This year I dressed up like raggy Cinderella.  This is because I'm--not to brag or anything--really good at cleaning toilets.  With that kind of work ethic, I figured it was only fair to make the Trunk-or-Treaters EARN their candy this year.

So when the first kid came to me and was like:

I was like:


And the kid was like:

The kids loved it!








Actually it ended probably closer to this:


I can't wait for next year!