Delilah Devlin's Blog, page 21
April 22, 2025
Call for Submissions: BURN! Deadline Extended: 06/15/25
BURN: A BOYS BEHAVING BADLY ANTHOLOGY
Editor: Delilah Devlin
Deadline Extended: June 15, 2025
BURN is open to all authors.
Editor/Author Delilah Devlin is looking for stories for a romantic erotica anthology tentatively entitled BURN: A BOYS BEHAVING BADLY ANTHOLOGY.
Why write a short story for this collection? Well, it’s certainly not about making a lot of money, so why do it at all? I’ve said this before, many times, but here are my thoughts…
Writing a short story for a call for submissions is a chance to flex your writing muscles! It can be a chance to experiment with a genre you’ve never written. If you’ve never written a story in first person but don’t want to begin by writing an entire novel using it, start short! For myself, I’ve written stories in new genres or with fresh themes that ended up being so much fun to write they’ve spawned entire series of books.
You have a deadline! I don’t know about you, but I have trouble keeping my butt in the chair without one!
It’s a promotional opportunity! If selected, you’ll be joined by 12-15 other authors for the launch, sharing your audiences and, hopefully, picking up new readers along the way. Having your story in the collection is another chance to be “seen.”
And remember, you retain the rights to your story, so you can republish it for individual sale or give it away to attract subscribers to your newsletter. You might even decide there’s more story to tell and expand your short story into a novel.
Here’s what I’m looking for…
BURN: A BOYS BEHAVING BADLY ANTHOLOGY will include stories that satisfy the reader who craves stories about those sexy, alpha men who face danger without hesitation and who love unconditionally. Perhaps, he’s the new firefighter in a small town who rescues a woman from a burning building. Maybe he’s an arson investigator, hunting for a predator targeting a local business owner. Or a vulcanologist studying an awakening volcano. Is he an alien from a fiery planet seeking a mate, or an astronaut searching in a mysterious solar system for a new home for colonization? Could he be a fire dragon living in the human world? There are so many ways to go.
BURN will seek stories with varied settings here on Earth—present, past, or future—or on another planet or moon in this solar system or in a galaxy far, far, away. Heroes and heroines might be more than human—supernatural creatures or even aliens and cyborgs.
I’m open to any subgenre of erotic romance you want to write. I’ll accept contemporary, historical, science fiction, or paranormal stories, and I won’t be picky about whether the stories are hetero, LGBT, ménage… Basically, you, the author, can go anywhere your imagination takes you so long as 1) the story is a romance, and 2) you have a bad boy/girl somewhere on the pages!
The anthology will be sold at a low price—my intent is exposure for you and your writing. The more readers reached, the better! You will retain the rights to your story so that, at a later date, you can republish your stories individually.
I’m seeking hot and inventive stories from authors with unique voices, and above all, I’m looking to be seduced by tales filled with vivid imagery and passion.
Published authors with an established world may use that setting for their original short stories.
This is erotic romance, so don’t hold back on the heat. Stories can be vanilla or filled with kink but don’t miss describing the romantic connection between strong-willed individuals learning to trust and love one another. A deep sensuality should linger in every word. Keep in mind that there must be a romantic element with a happy-for-now or happy-ever-after ending. Strong plots, engaging characters, and unique twists are the ultimate goal. Please, no reprints. I want original stories.
How to submit: Prepare your 2,500 to 5,500 words story in a double-spaced, Arial, 12-point, black font, Word document (.doc or .docx) OR rich text format (.rtf), with pages numbered. Indent the first line of each paragraph half an inch and double space (regular double spacing; do not add extra lines between paragraphs or do any other irregular spacing). U.S. grammar (double quotation marks around dialogue, etc.) is required.
In your document at the top left of the first page, include your legal name (and pseudonym, if applicable), mailing address, email address, and a 50-word or less biography, written in the third person, and send to bbbaburn@gmail.com. If you are using a pseudonym, please provide your real name and pseudonym and make it clear which one you’d like to be credited as. Authors may submit up to 2 stories. I will try to respond no later than August 15, 2025, with decisions.
Payment will be USD 25.00 ninety days after publication at the end of that month.
Who is Delilah Devlin?
Delilah Devlin is a New York Times and USA Today bestselling author of romance and erotic romance. She has published over two hundred stories in multiple genres and lengths and has been published by Atria/Strebor, Avon, Berkley, Black Lace, Cleis Press, Ellora’s Cave, Entangled, Grand Central, Harlequin Spice, HarperCollins: Mischief, Kensington, Kindle, Montlake, Penthouse, Running Press, and Samhain Publishing.
Her short stories have appeared in multiple Cleis Press collections, including Lesbian Cowboys, Girl Crush, Fairy Tale Lust, Lesbian Lust, Passion, Lesbian Cops, Dream Lover, Carnal Machines, Best Erotic Romance (2012), Suite Encounters, Girl Fever, Girls Who Score, Duty and Desire, Best Lesbian Romance of 2013, and On Fire. For Cleis Press, she edited Girls Who Bite, She Shifters, Cowboy Lust, Smokin’ Hot Firemen, High Octane Heroes, Cowboy Heat, Hot Highlanders and Wild Warriors, and Sex Objects.
She has also edited Conquests: An Anthology of Smoldering Viking Romance, Rogues: A Boys Behaving Badly Anthology, Blue Collar: A Boys Behaving Badly Anthology, Pirates: A Boys Behaving Badly Anthology, Stranded: A Boys Behaving Badly Anthology, First Response: A Boys Behaving Badly Anthology, Cowboys: A Boys Behaving Badly Anthology, Silver Soldiers: A Boys Behaving Badly Anthology, and Secret Identities: A Boys Behaving Badly Anthology.
Direct any questions regarding your story or the submission process to Delilah at bbbaburn@gmail.com.
The post Call for Submissions: BURN! Deadline Extended: 06/15/25 first appeared on Delilah Devlin.
April 21, 2025
N.J. Walters: Samael, Book #1 of the Blackwell Brothers’ Redemption Trilogy is here!
SAMAEL is the first book in the Blackwell Brothers’ Redemption trilogy, featuring three brothers with a very interesting job—they’re reapers.
Being the sons of the Grim Reaper comes with expectations, and their father is not happy at how they’ve been conducting business. He’s given them each an ultimatum— learn to reap with compassion and do the job to his standards or face eternal exile. Stranded in the town of Redemption with limited powers and money and no way to communicate with the outside, they’ll all play the game, reap the soul, and return to their normal lives. It’s a straightforward plan—until they meet their assignments.
SamaelBlackwell Brothers’ Redemption, Book 1
Love her. Protect her. Reap her soul.
Samael Blackwell is the son of Death—and he’s officially out of chances. After centuries of reaping souls with zero regard for the rules, his father sends him to the dead-end town of Redemption. With only a few hundred bucks and the clothes on his back, Sam has one last shot to prove he can do the job right: reap with compassion or lose everything.
It should’ve been easy. Find the soul. Finish the job. Walk away.
Then he meets Adrianne Sharp.
She’s strong, guarded, and hiding from a past that refuses to stay buried. The connection between them is instant—and impossible. Because Adrianne isn’t just anyone. She’s his assignment.
And her soul’s on the clock.
To win back his old life, all Sam has to do is watch her die. But what if the cost of redemption…is her?
He was sent to end her story. But she just might rewrite his.
An excerpt…
He pushed into a seated position and got his first glimpse of himself. It wasn’t only his watch that was gone. He no longer wore his custom Tom Ford suit and hand-tooled Italian shoes. In their place were worn jeans, a plain white T-shirt, a battered leather jacket, and boots that had seen their best day a decade ago.
He pushed himself upright and brushed the dirt and debris from his clothes. Raking his fingers through his hair, he scanned his surroundings. There were trees everywhere, not a high-rise to be seen. A huge crow swooped down and perched on a nearby branch, cold black eyes staring directly at him.
“Malaki. Why am I not surprised the old man sent you to spy on me?” Crows were often employed as messengers between the land of the living and the realm of the dead. Malaki was his father’s companion, his personal assistant, as it were. “You tell him I’ll play his game, and I’ll damn well win.”
*~*~*
Want to read more? You can find SAMAEL here:
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0F2SDQMVF/
B&N: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/samael-n-j-walters/1147212495
Kobo: https://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/samael-13
iBooks: https://books.apple.com/us/book/samael/id6743937757
N.J. Walters is a New York Times and USA Today bestselling author who has always been a voracious reader, and now she spends her days writing novels of her own. Vampires, werewolves, dragons, assassins, time-travelers, seductive handymen, and next-door neighbors with smoldering good looks—all vie for her attention. It’s a tough life, but someone’s got to live it.
Visit her at:
Website: http://www.njwalters.com
Blog: http://www.njwalters.blogspot.com
Newsletter Sign Up: http://eepurl.com/gdblg5
Facebook Author Page: https://www.facebook.com/N.J.WaltersAuthor
Twitter: https://x.com/njwaltersauthor
Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/NJWalters
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/author/njwalters
BookBub: https://www.bookbub.com/authors/n-j-walters
April 20, 2025
Happy Easter, Report Card, & Open Contests
First, Happy Easter from my house to yours!
Next, remember when my dd gifted me with mini-Marvel superheroes for my advent calendar at Christmas?
Well, before I started to put together my report card for today, I decided to pull a figure from my bucket rather than pull a tarot card, just to get the right mindset for the coming week. I pulled this guy:
He’s The Punisher. Not a true-blue hero at all; however, he does have redeeming qualities. He takes out the bad guys. No mercy. So, I’m going to borrow some of his balls-to-the-wall determination this week and slay my calendar! 
Since April 1st…
I’ve done nothing. Nada. Zilch. Of course, I have the best excuse in the world. I am currently recovering from major surgery—and kicking ass while doing it.This next week…
I will return to work, editing two projects for other authors!I’ll issue an extension to authors interested in writing a short story for the Burn collection. Folks may have been waiting to see if I kicked the bucket before submitting their work. LOLI’ll be reviewing short stories I’ve published and picking some to put together into a second Ultra collection. I need to get something published, and I do have some hot stories that haven’t appeared in a set or in print yet…I’ll contact my oncologist’s office to make an appointment to set up more appointments so I can get them hard-scheduled in my work plan!I’ll begin painting again. Small things, only. I want to continue work on #the100dayproject, even though I’m dragging far behind the rest of the participants.Open Contests
Be sure to check out these posts and enter to win the prizes that are still up for grabs:
Meet Author Kaje Harper! Complete Short Story Here! Plus, FREE Reads! — Read an entire short story, plus pick up FREE reads!Gabbi Grey/Gabbi Powell/Gabbi Black: Why I Can’t Stay in My Lane (Contest) — Win an Amazon gift card!Gabbi Grey: I Wanted Taylor Swift! (Contest) — Win an Amazon gift card!Saturday Puzzle-Contest — Win an Amazon gift card!The post Happy Easter, Report Card, & Open Contests first appeared on Delilah Devlin.April 19, 2025
Saturday Puzzle-Contest
I’ve finally graduated from a recliner in the living room to my own bed in my own room. The test was my being able to get myself out of bed without straining my healing belly. I graduated yesterday! Woohoo. I slept with a pillow on my belly in case the cats decided to climb over me. They were thrilled to have their human pillow and back-scratcher back. One chose my shoulder, the other my feet. I didn’t feel used at all with all the purring going on.
I’m up early and will likely head back to bed for a couple more hours of rest, but while I’m feeling up to sitting at the computer, I will.
I chose today’s puzzle image because it’s a house on the edge of the woods, which is our place, and it feels rather magical this time of year. Everything’s greening up—the yard and pasture, the trees in the wood. We have tons of deer coming to drink at our pond in the back. The squirrels love to harass the dogs, running from tree to tree, then quickly circling up the trunks while they bark at the dogs. There are other animals there, but sightings are rarer—foxes, for example. I remember the year we found the injured baby fox and raised it until it was ready to go back into the woods. In another month, we’ll be in the pool every day, watching the birds overhead, and in the evenings, watching the bats as they come out to eat up all those pesky mosquitoes. They really are cool to watch.
Anyways, it’s still dark outside. I wanted to get this post up so it would be waiting for you when you woke up. Happy Saturday, everyone!
For a chance to win a $5 Amazon gift card, solve the puzzle and tell me what magical things are happening with the seasonal changes where you are!
The post Saturday Puzzle-Contest first appeared on Delilah Devlin.April 18, 2025
Another quick update…
Well, I met with my surgeon yesterday.
From his POV, everything is going swimmingly. Even the UTI, with the gloriously named cause (Morganella Morganii), is responding well to the antibiotics. He renewed that prescription for an additional week just to make sure we wipe it out.
As to the results of my surgery…
Again, he stated he’d taken out everything he could visually detect. My body bits were sent to a lab, and they did find microscopic evidence the cancer was still alive. Not unexpected. He saw some in the omentum, which they fully removed, some in my uterus (also gone).
His recommendation to my oncologist will be that since I did so well with chemo, knocking it back so much, and my body appeared to tolerate it, that he would like to see me undergo three more rounds of chemo before I go back on immunotherapy maintenance.
Today, I’ll set up an appointment to see my oncologist to discuss what happens next.
I really, really didn’t want to hear that I’d be going back on chemo. It’s painful, it drags me down, and I just started regrowing my hair (I know, that’s not important, but…).
Three rounds would put me through the end of summer, which will really hit my pool time hard, and I’ve been holding onto dreams of floating in the pool with a margarita in my hand to keep myself feeling upbeat. So, yeah, today, I’m a little down.
I’ll allow myself a day to feel sorry for myself. But I’m determined to “graduate” from sleeping in my lift chair to resting in an actual bed this weekend—even if it’s not my own just yet. My dd wants to be nearby in case I run into trouble in the middle of the night, so I’ll accede to her wishes. She’s been an absolute gem, and I don’t want to make her work harder.
All my plans for what I’d hoped to accomplish this summer have to be reviewed. I’m sure I can keep busy with editing, but writing…? Good Lord. Am I even still a writer if I’m not writing? That sounded like a distinct whine.
Anyway, I plan to run a contest tomorrow and catch up on some that already posted because it’s time to wrap them up. I hope to get back to regularly posting very, very soon.
In the meantime, hello from me. I hope you are all doing well. I’d love to hear your plans for the coming summer/winter, depending on where you are in the world. ~DD
The post Another quick update… first appeared on Delilah Devlin.April 16, 2025
Gabbi Grey: I Wanted Taylor Swift! (Contest)
Hello, Delilah! Thank you for inviting me here today to discuss my new short story in a great anthology!
I’m sure you’re wondering…Taylor Swift?
I’ll see if I can explain. About a year and a half ago, I signed up for this anthology. Well, this one and a bunch of others. I signed up for every one I could get my hands on.
Then Plot Whisperer and I sat down to figure out potential storylines for each anthology. This one was a bit perplexing. What circumstances might lead a couple of guys to only have one bed?
I came up with the idea of Taylor Swift coming to Vancouver and people having to bunk together.
Plot Whisperer vetoed that idea. Not because of TS…but just because it didn’t resonate with her.
We kept working at figuring a reason.
In the end, we settled on the tight housing market in Vancouver. Completely legitimate if you know this city.
Then we needed to sort through how Troy and Rocco knew each other, why Troy needed help, and why Rocco would offer it. Check, check, check.
From there, I just had to write my story.
Writing about Rocco’s decision to downsize from a large house made sense. He wanted to be closer to work (Vancouver traffic is hellacious).
Troy’s living near the poverty level because of a job that pays barely above minimum wage is definitely a thing.
Throw in a good friend, a wayward son, and I had a story.
But I didn’t get my Taylor Swift!
Ironically, she announced she was coming to Vancouver just a few months later, and she ended her tour here. So, yay Vancouver!
(I did consider having Troy hit by a car by someone heading to the concert but wouldn’t have fit – so I vetoed my own idea.)
Mentioning any person – living or dead – is always a risk. Especially speaking of them in a negative light. There are people who don’t like Ms. Swift and would take offense for me including her in my story – even if I was only mentioning her concert as being popular. (FYI – I tried to get tickets and couldn’t. Given the expense, that probably wasn’t a bad thing. See above for the cost of living in the Vancouver area.)
Thanks for letting me visit Delilah! And to talk a bit about the process of writing. I would love to give away a $5 Amazon Gift Card. Can you remember a time when you were reading a book and a reference to someone famous struck you? (Good or bad…) I had a reference in an upcoming story to someone I thought was a good actor and a decent guy. My proofreader said, you realize he’s a jerk, right? I googled and was horrified. And no, I hadn’t realized. I had to change a line in the story just a week out from publication. One of the reasons having a good team is so important. So let me know! Or is there a famous person whose name would turn you off from a book? Drop a comment! Random will pick a winner.
Bed, Two Hearts: An Only One Bed Romance Anthology
Sometimes love starts with a little forced proximity… and just one bed.
In One Bed, Two Hearts, discover a collection of contemporary romance where strangers, friends, and even enemies find themselves sharing a bed—and maybe, just maybe, sharing their hearts too. With sizzling chemistry, accidental sleepovers, and unexpected connections, each story brings you a delightful take on the beloved “only one bed” trope.
From cozy cabins to luxury hotels, these stories are filled with laughter, tender moments, and undeniable attraction that will leave you swooning for more.
Perfect for fans of forced proximity, slow-burn romance, and a dash of humor, One Bed, Two Hearts delivers love that blooms when people are closer than they ever expected.
Authors:
Jill Brashear
Deaia Sanders
Michelle Moncreiff
Linda G. Hill
Emma Lynn Everly
Chele MacCabe
Sharon Michalove
Skylar M. Cates
Gabbi Grey
Cara Dion
Freyja Frost
Angela Breen
J.M. Adele
Jewelz Baxter
Ebony Snow
Juliet Martini
Cynthia Terelst
Harper Michaels
Maida Malby
The anthology will only be available for a limited time.
Links:
Universal Link: https://books2read.com/tnrc25onebedtwohearts
Amazon US: https://www.amazon.com/One-Bed-Two-Hearts-Collection-ebook/dp/B0DJRKFBDY
Add it to Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/220258911-one-bed-two-hearts
Rocco
Being called to a hospital in the middle of the night is scary. When I discover my adult son’s best friend has been injured and has no one else around to help, I race to his side. Troy’s always been a nice kid, and now he needs a safe place to stay. My condo’s a tiny one-bedroom, but we’ll manage. Or so I tell myself.
Troy
Spending the Christmas season with the hottest man around—who also happens to be my best friend’s dad—is torture. Every night. Worse because his couch sucks and we end up sharing the bed. Platonically, of course. In theory. If Marco finds out I’m crushing on his dad, and it’s mutual, he’s going to kill me.
Saving Troy is a 15k one-bed, best-friend’s dad, instalove, gay romance short story.
About the Author
USA Today Bestselling author Gabbi Grey lives in beautiful British Columbia where her fur baby chin-poo keeps her safe from the nasty neighborhood squirrels. Working for the government by day, she spends her early mornings writing contemporary, gay, sweet, and dark erotic BDSM romances. While she firmly believes in happy endings, she also believes in making her characters suffer before finding their true love. She also writes m/f romances as Gabbi Black and Gabbi Powell.
Personal links:
Website: https://gabbigrey.com/
Newsletter sign-up: https://sendfox.com/gabbigrey
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/authorgabbigrey/
Bookbub: https://www.bookbub.com/authors/gabbi-grey
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/15456297.Gabbi_Grey
Amazon Author Central: https://www.amazon.com/Gabbi-Grey/e/B07SJVFX1M
Audible Profile: https://www.audible.com/author/Gabbi-Grey/B07SJVFX1M
Facebook (page): https://www.facebook.com/AuthorGabbiGrey
April 14, 2025
Health Update! So good to be here!
So, I’m poking my head in the door. It doesn’t mean I’m back to my daily routine just yet, but I thought I’d let you know how things are going. I’ve shared (over-shared, I’m sure!) about my cancer journey so far, and I don’t intend to change that. The emails from online friends out there who have loved ones or who have or are going down this road have been moving.
Anyways, back to the subject.
I had surgery on April 1st. April Fool’s Day. My old wedding anniversary. My ex-hubby laughed at the date and said, “Ah then, everything is going to be fine, because we didn’t turn out so bad.” I have to agree, as odd as that sounds I’m sure to some of you since we’re divorced, but we’re still great friends, still sharing phone calls and birthday wishes. April 1st is a lucky day for me.
The doctor had thought he’d be taking out more than he did. First, he went after the omentum—it’s an apron of tissue that protects your internal organs. When he eye-balled it, he saw no living cancer on it although the omentum had lit up like a Christmas tree on my first PET scan all those months ago. Then he removed all my girlie parts, noting that he saw very little remaining cancer there. Mostly just slimy bits of dead remnants of cancer (I’m interpreting his notes, maybe embellishing a bit—can’t help myself).
He was going to take my lymph nodes down there. But other than some dead slime (more embellishment), he found them pink and healthy-looking so did not remove them. He hunted around my liver, gallbladder, intenstines, etc. He had said he’d remove anything he found infected (if he could), but found nothing else of concern. When he spoke with me later that afternoon, he told me my chemo had done an excellent job of knocking back the cancer. He was pretty sure he’d gotten everything he could.
Are you wondering why I included a picture of a zipper at the start of this post? Well, they closed with a long line of staples (27 in all) and my belly looked like they installed a zipper in it. (My attempt at humor.)
My sister, Elle James, stayed with me in the hospital for the two days and nights that followed. She was a huge help. You need an advocate, someone to stomp down the hall to ask for pain meds. BTW, Dilaudid is fabulous. Opioids definitely have their place. It hits fast and only lingers a couple of hours, but when you need something fast… In a hospital setting… Mm-hmm. Highly recommend.
I went home on Wednesday with a soft pillow clutched against my sore belly and one last dose of Dilaudid to hold me until I got home an hour away.
Sis left soon after. Storms were brewing, and she still had a four-hour drive. Then I was left in my daughter’s gentle care.
When I’d been away, my SIL moved the reclining lift chair he’d purchased for me from my living area to the living room. Now, every time I need to get to my feet to move around (exercise is key to recovery), the chair stands me on my feet with little to no intervention from anyone and no straining of my belly. As the days have passed, that’s been very important to my independence.
Everything was moving along well. I was convinced I was going to have the easiest recovery known to womankind, but then…my temperature started climbing and my wee-wee-hole (no, that’s not the technical term, so don’t quote me) began to hurt. In fact, my entire pelvic floor area began to ache every time I attempted to relieve myself. I suspected a UTI and Dr. Google agreed, so I called my surgeon’s office and asked if I could have the urine sample taken at my local doctor’s office rather than head back to the city to pee into a bottle). He approved, and I was quickly put on antibiotics for a UTI. Not just any UTI, but one caused by an emerging super-bug with a very pretty name: Morganella Morganii. M. morganii turned my pee into the most brilliantly colored sunset orange I’ve ever seen. You know I’m going to be mixing colors to try to match it—Indian yellow, cadmium red, a touch of magenta or fuchsia…
I was headed to the surgeon’s office the next day (last Thursday) anyway, where an RN with the nickname of Buffy (it was just meant to be), removed all my staples. It wasn’t supposed to hurt, but maybe I’m just a big baby. 27 little needle-y pinches took my breath away.
I’m finally able to sit up for longer periods in my chair. I’m taking naps during the day on a bed with many pillows. My daughter has to help me up, but she was CNA-trained, so she knows how to get me up without causing any pain at all. My discomfort from my UTI is fading. My temperature is back to normal.
This coming Thursday, I’ll be back in Little Rock to see my surgeon. He’ll let me know his official findings and hopefully let me know when he recommends I continue my immunotherapy. (And more importantly to me—when I can jump into the swimming pool.) This journey isn’t over, but so far, I’m tolerating the treatments.
And that’s all I’ve got. I hope everyone out there is feeling well, loving the changing seasons. I didn’t even mention the huge flood we had right after I got home from the hospital, but yeah, the local river rose its highest since 1969. We were cut off from town for a couple of days there. Life’s just so interesting like that.
This picture was taken just down the hill from where we live and over a mile from the river.
The post Health Update! So good to be here! first appeared on Delilah Devlin.April 13, 2025
Gabbi Grey/Gabbi Powell/Gabbi Black: Why I Can’t Stay in My Lane (Contest)
I’m going to let you in on a little secret: Not every author writes books because they love writing books.
Huh?
Every author has a different motivation for sitting down at the keyboard (or with pen and paper, as I did with my first book) and pounding out a story.
My journey started in university. Well, poems and short stories in elementary and high school. University and my drama program? I wrote two plays. Uh…one bombed and one did okay. I took two creative writing classes. In the first, I started a novel. OMG, I cringe at it now. In the second class, though, I started a romance. Only I didn’t know it would be a romance. I’d only read my first Harlequin the year before. I had no idea how category Harlequin romances would change my life’s trajectory.
I did well in that class — and kept writing that book. Now, it SUCKS. And was never completed. But I love the story and will one day tell it in an authentic way. The heroine has been mentioned in another one of my books — so her story’s coming.
Basically, I kept writing. I started numerous projects and would pick one up occasionally. I would commute on the train in Toronto and write scenes. I also wrote two scripts for a television series my friend was working on. Didn’t sell them, but it lit a fire under me that they even got read.
I continued to write on and off for fifteen years. Never finishing a book. But planning. Always planning.
Then I had a mental illness crisis in 2012 and was off work for a year. I had thought I was going to write one book, but a secondary character, whom I’d seen as a throw away, kept nagging me to write her story. So I did. By hand, In pieces. Took 8 months and I wound up with 126k words. Eventually I put the pieces together and had a manuscript. Even I knew the thing was a mess. But I found two beta readers who loved it.
In the meantime, I went back to work. Something happened in the news and I started in on the ‘what ifs’. I had the genesis for a story. I wrote intensely over the next six weeks -including at work between phone calls (I worked in a call centre). I discovered I could write a lot of words in the seven seconds between calls.
I had a book. Only one this was 85k words — the perfect length for a Harlequin Superromance. My beta readers loved it, and I sent it to Harlequin. I’m not going to bore you with my 2 ½ year horrible journey to not being published with them (but coming rather close). I moved on. I sent it elsewhere, but I just couldn’t get traction.
The advice I got (and that I give to anyone who will listen) is, while you’re on submission and waiting, to write the next book. And I did. Over and over and over. But the time HQ rejected me I had 16 more books and 3 partial books in that series written plus a dark erotic BDSM trilogy — because I could. I wrote a million words in 2014 and damn near that many the next year. In 2015-2016, I moved into editing and my word count dropped.
In the end, I sold that BDSM trilogy to The Wild Rose Press. And I wrote another MMF BDSM for them. I’ve also, under that penname, written another MMF, an FFM, and a couple of short stories — all BDSM. I even have one short story on audio. That’s Gabbi Black. I’m committed to writing at least one story for her every year because I love BSDM. Although now my stories are much lighter — shows you where I am in my life. Oh, and I have way more experience in kink than when I wrote the trilogy — so that knowledge gets incorporated into my work.
Those 20 or so books? I wrote a series starter, have a prequel, the HQ book became book 2, I wrote book 3, and book 4 is the 126k word cluster mess that I need to sort out. I hired a freelance editor, she worked me hard, and the first 4 books (prequel and books 1-3) are out as Love in Cedar Valley. Gabbi Powell. I’ve also published a novella in that series and a short story. I have another short story coming later this year. I’ve committed to my freelance editor that I will fix book 4 and send it to her by the end of the year. I even have a beautiful cover. Just have to find the time. I’ve also committed to sending her 2-3 more edited ones per year from the pile so we get through all 20 before she retires or I die. (we’re both older, so it is a race against time)
Finally, comes Gabbi Grey. Didn’t see her coming — even though that was my first penname. I wrote two MF short stories that got published. One publisher was looking for MM novellas with one guy working in the trades and set in the continental US. I wrote a story, and a nice author randomly offered to beta read it for me (I will always be grateful for their kindness to a total stranger). They had very constructive comments. The biggest being — this story is too short. Tell the story you were meant to tell. I backed out of the project with the publisher and, during my next mental health crisis, wrote the book I was meant to. 120k. From the initial 50k… Uh…okay…
My freelance editor had a go of it, and I’ve tried to sell it to traditional publishers. All want it shorter before they’ll look at it. Now I’m hybrid, though (indie and working with a traditional publisher), I’m wondering if I shouldn’t indie publish the book. It’s in the wrong point of view (I wrote it third person but everything I do now is first). I’m currently fixing another manuscript and changing POV takes weeks of intense work. So 120k word gay romance is on the back burner.
In the meantime, my new publisher, The Wild Rose Press, was putting out a series. Intrigued, I contemplated what to write and decided on a gay romance — which they weren’t expecting in their small-town series set in Vermont. They greenlit and project and I wrote an MM paranormal ghost story. Then the publisher wanted books with ice cream. I wrote another gay romance. Then they said I could write another book in the Vermont series. I wrote a sweet gay romance.
Then they wanted a Christmas cookie book. I tried but couldn’t cram the story into 35k words. I withdrew the story and finished it myself. I bought a cover, learned how to indie publish, paid a narrator to record it, and released the book into the world on November 15th, 2021.
I haven’t looked back except to marvel. That book is my best seller by far. Book 2 in that series, which came out of nowhere, is the next bestseller. Then the various series I’ve written stories for including The Haunting of Pinedale High, Single Dads of Gaynor Beach, and Friends of Gaynor Beach Animal Rescue. Then I finally got around to writing and publishing books 3 and 4 in my Love in Mission City series. Plus short stories, as well as novellas and shorts for charity anthologies and on it goes.
Gabbi Grey has, unexpectedly, become my most successful penname. The one I didn’t see coming. The one who writes queer romances.
So I should drop the other two and focus on her, right? Especially if I want to break even and, eventually, make money (Spoiler -most authors, even if they manage to publish, don’t make a ton of money. Even those with publishing contracts might not be making as much as you might believe.) I don’t talk about money often. I have a fantastic super important job. The extra each month, after all my basic expenses are paid, goes into my writing.
Editors, covers, marketing, promos, prizes (and, for me, audiobooks). Also classes, memberships, and ads if you’ve got the ability to run them. Being an author can be expensive. Some authors do it for less and still succeed. I tell authors starting out they need four things: an editor, a professional cover, a website, and a mailing list. Now, often you can barter for some of that and go super cheap. Oh, and you need a good story. Even the prettiest cover and the best editing won’t help if the story isn’t compelling.
I love my life. I’m living the life I’ve always dreamed. I don’t want to be a ‘full-time’ author because I can’t live with uncertainty. I have a great job where I work hard. I have benefits and a pension plan I pay into. I’m working to pay down my mortgage.
I also write full-time. How? Four hours each morning for writing and marketing. One to two hours after work doing more marketing. Ten-to-fourteen-hour days on the weekends. A ton of writing and marketing. Last year I wrote 832k words. That’s full-time author territory.
I just happen to have two great jobs. That goes with healthy family and happy dogs. Anything happens with that equation, and my writing will decrease. For now, though, I’m good.
And my ADD brain is happiest with three pennames. For maintaining different rhythms for each. Hell, even different POVs. Gabbi Powell is all third person while the other two pennames are now entirely first person. Just a preference. And something to keep my mind engaged.
That’s why I can’t stick to my lane. I’d probably be more successful if I picked one penname and just wrote big books. But I wouldn’t get the variety. The thrill of writing stories for charity anthologies. The joy of working with other authors in shared worlds.
Interestingly, my mentor/critique partner/future co-writer/friend laughed when I said I couldn’t stick to my lane. She pointed out she wasn’t even on the highway. Which is true. She writes what she wants. As long as it has a happy ending, she’s good.
So, what about you? Interested in trying your hand at writing? Already there? Or how do you feel about authors who switch lanes? Will you follow them wherever or do you count of them for one thing and get frustrated when they move somewhere else? Leave a comment and let me know. Random will pick a winner of a $5 Amazon gift card. Good luck.
About the AuthorsGabbi Grey
USA Today Bestselling author Gabbi Grey lives in beautiful British Columbia where her fur baby chin-poo keeps her safe from the nasty neighborhood squirrels. Working for the government by day, she spends her early mornings writing contemporary, gay, sweet, and dark erotic BDSM romances. While she firmly believes in happy endings, she also believes in making her characters suffer before finding their true love. She also writes m/f romances as Gabbi Black and Gabbi Powell.
Newsletter sign-up: https://sendfox.com/gabbigrey
Website: https://gabbigrey.com/
Amazon Author Page: https://www.amazon.com/stores/Gabbi-Grey/author/B07SJVFX1M
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/15456297.Gabbi_Grey
Gabbi Powell has been a lover of romance since she first put pen to paper in the eighth grade to write her first romance. She writes her novels while living in Beautiful British Columbia with her trusty ChinPoo dog a as companion. She also writes gay romances as Gabbi Grey and contemporary dark erotic BDSM novels as Gabbi Black.
Website: http://gabbipowell.com/
Newsletter sign-up: https://sendfox.com/gabbipowell
Amazon Author Page: https://www.amazon.com/stores/Gabbi-Powell/author/B08T8NTQNY
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/21065056.Gabbi_Powell
Even though Gabbi Black is a firm believer in happy endings, she makes her characters work for it in every romance she writes, no matter what the genre. From contemporary to BDSM, they are penned early in the morning in her home in beautiful British Columbia while her trusty ChinPoo dog keeps her company. She also writes gay romances as Gabbi Grey and small-town romances as Gabbi Powell.
Website: http://gabbiblack.com/
Newsletter sign-up: https://sendfox.com/gabbi
Amazon Author Page: https://www.amazon.com/stores/Gabbi-Black/author/B08D8LNY7D
Add it to Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/20592691.Gabbi_Black
April 11, 2025
Genevive Chamblee: What Makes a Good Romance Novel
As Joan Rivers was famous for asking, “Can we talk?”
I’m going to bet that if you’re reading this, you enjoy reading romance novels. If you’re like me, you’re a book fanatic. Not only do I love writing, I’m an avid reader. And I’m not picky about the media—paperback, hardback, eBook, audio, hieroglyphics. Shucks, I don’t care. I’ll read it anyway it’s given to me. Just slide a manuscript in front of my greedy little eyes.
I’m not picky about genre, either. Although horror typically isn’t my thing, I’m down to try just about anything at least once. (I have to put out there just about because as sure as I say anything I’m going to get tossed something I don’t know exists and is a hard no.) Mostly, I’m in the romance aisle—or somewhere close to it. I only have one request: that it be good.
What makes for a good romance novel? The answer is obvious: fantastic writing and excellent storytelling. Duh! But what goes into these things? I think (and feel free to disagree) the most important is creating dynamic characters. They don’t have to be over-the-top, but they should be… relatable? That’s the word that if frequently quoted to authors. Make your character relatable. But is that really what authors want to do to connect with readers? Or is a more accurate word believable?
Let’s think about this. The definition of relatable is possible to like, understand, or have sympathy for due to having similarities to oneself or one’s own experiences. I don’t know about anyone else, but the majority of the books I’ve read, I haven’t been anywhere close to being similar to the main character…at least, I hope I’m not. I mean, when I’m reading about stalkers, mercenaries, royalty, billionaires, and such, I couldn’t even begin to imagine I would have anything in common with them other than maybe bacon because who doesn’t love bacon? But I’m willing to bet, there’s a vegan in the bunch.
Even if it’s argued that it’s “emotional” traits that readers are connecting to, I’m still going to pass on that being an acceptable answer. Recently, I read a book that the main character was so obnoxious that any emotions he had were buried. Yet, the author had so beautifully developed his arrogance into humor that when he got what he deserved I was rooting for him to be shown mercy. By definition, this character should have been classified as an antihero. He was fun to read about. Was I rooting for him to get away with his crimes? Yes. Would I be a fan of someone who engaged in those same acts or lesser in real life? Absolutely not. Enjoying and relating are two different things.
That brings me back to believability. Can a reader believe a character like this exist? In the Harry Potter series, it is claimed that Dolores Umbridge is the most detested character by readers although Tom Riddle a.k.a., Lord Voldemort is the main villain. The argument is that everyone knows someone like Dolores, but that Voldemort’s evil is so over-the-top deranged that he’s not relatable to most. But we all know there are plenty of people in this world who are so power-hungry that they will do anything and everything to get what they want. They have no empathy or compassion for others. Prisons are filled with people like this. However, the Lord Voldemort character works because he’s believable.
Jane Austen characters are said to have been popular when first written because she wrote characters that were accurate portrayal her current society. The argument contents that she continues to be popular because modern society can still relate to the emotions of her characters. Well, maybe. I’m not going to argue with experts who have far more experience, education, and pedigrees than myself. But I’m going to toss out there that a lot more people don’t relate to those characters than ones that do. And the reason I say this is because Cliff Notes. Yes, Cliff Notes. Cliff Notes aren’t just the summaries for people to get the gist of something they aren’t interested in reading for themselves. It provides a breakdown an explanation scene by scene. Why? Because some readers have no clue of what’s being splayed before them.
When I first read Pride & Prejudice, I had no idea that Mr. Darcy slighted Elizabeth because he was shy. I just saw him as a pompous butthead—probably the same way Elizabeth did. I also didn’t relate to Elizabeth. If she was as “slighted” as she was said to have been, she would have made more of an effort to not engage with him. Besides, all of those relationships had a tone of insta love for me. I didn’t care that Charles Bingley took one look at Jane and instantly fell for her or that after one night of dancing they were practically mentally engaged. I’ve never seen insta love in real life. Is it possible? Anything’s possible, so, yeah. I was there for it in the story because of the dynamic storytelling. I believed these characters could exist in my world.
Last year, I read a book that had rave reviews. When I finished, I sat stunned for about thirty minutes wondering what was wrong with me. Why couldn’t I see what everyone else had seen? Why wasn’t I beaming about this book? After much thought, I realized it was because the author hadn’t sold me on the story. I didn’t believe the characters to be authentic. I didn’t believe the setting. I didn’t believe the setups were natural. How could one character know that the other character would find a random clue at a specific time and figure out what it meant—a clue that anyone could have stumbled upon and moved?
**SPOLIER ALERT** In the movie the Shawshank Redemption, Andy tells Red about a tree in a field in Zihuatanejo that he and his wife had a picnic under. Andy was in jail for 19 years, and this picnic had occurred many years prior to his incarceration. So, when Andy tells Red to find that tree if he ever gets out, how does Andy know that tree is still standing? It could have been struck by lightening or bulldozed to make way for a high-rise. Landscapes change all the time. Chances are that tree isn’t there anymore, or at the very least, the layout no longer looks the same as Andy remembers from more than twenty years ago. But do movie watchers balk when Red finds it? Nope. Why? Because the audience is invested by that point. The storytelling has won over.
So, now, let’s go back to the start. What makes a good romance novel? It’s two (or more if it’s polygamous) people who have a believable connection and a vibrant love story. Readers may have nothing in common with the characters or their situations but are able to believe they could happen and exist. Now, I know this is an unpopular opinion, so let me know what you think in the comments. Is it relatability or believability.
And that’s all I got for today. Now, it’s your turn to sound off. Let me know your thoughts below in the comment section. Your feedback allows me to know the content that you want to read. And if you like this post, consider clicking the like button and sharing.
Demon Rodeo
If Brokeback Mountain, 8 Seconds, Poltergeist, and Supernatural had an orgy, Demon Rodeo would be the lovechild.
Demon Rodeo is available now on Amazon. For video book trailers, visit my TikTok page. The full blurb is on my Instagram and Amazon.
Demon Rodeo is the first book in the Chasing the Buckle series but can be read as a standalone. It’s a friends-to-lovers romance set in the rodeo world. These are not your typical cowboys. It’s a widely diverse cast of characters and a mashup of genres that aren’t always seen together. If you’re looking for a palate cleanser, this may be a book for you.
Order
⇨ Amazon: https://readerlinks.com/l/4174852
⇨ All Stores: https://books2read.com/u/bP8RG7
*Note: All of my books can be purchased from brick-and-mortar bookstores (e.g., Barnes & Noble, Book-A-Million, etc.) as well if requested at the checkout counter.)
Until next time, happy reading and much romance. Laissez le bon temps rouler.
If you’re not following my blog, Creole Bayou, what are you waiting for? There’s always room at the bayou.
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Facebook: Genevive ChambleeInstagram: genevivechambleeauthorTikTok: CreolegurlNolaBluesky: Genevive ChambleeThreads: Author Genevive ChambleeBookBub: Genevive ChambleeAmazon Authors: Genevive ChambleeGoodreads: Genevive ChambleeX (formerly Twitter): @dolynesaidsoLOCKER ROOM LOVE
Are you searching for a sexy book boyfriend? You’ve come to the right place.
Out of the Penalty Box (book #1) One minute in the box or a lifetime out.Defending the Net (book #2) Crossing the line could cost the game. Ice Gladiators (book #3) When the gloves come off, the games begin.Penalty Kill (book #4) Let the pucker begin. Future Goals (book #5) The future lies between a puck and a net.About the AuthorHi, I’m Genevive, and I am a contemporary sports romance author. My home is in South Louisiana. If you like snark and giggles with a touch of steamy Cajun and Creole on the side, I may have your poison in my stash of books. Drop by the bayou and have a look around. The pirogues are always waiting for new visitors.
The post Genevive Chamblee: What Makes a Good Romance Novel first appeared on Delilah Devlin.April 8, 2025
Meet Author Kaje Harper! Complete Short Story Here! Plus, FREE Reads!
Hi folks, this is my first time here (thank you, Delilah), so I figured I’d introduce myself and share a second-chances short story I wrote, just for fun.
I’m Kaje Harper. I write gay romance (with a little YA on the side), and I’ve been published since 2011. I started writing much earlier, back in 1974, when, as a teen, I read The Front Runner by Patricia Nell Warren, and had my heart ripped out by her words. In those days, a happy ending for a gay couple in fiction was rare. Pain was the rule. I set out to write some romance, to give two men in love the same joy and family and happy endings that het folk like me got to have.
Many, many years (and hoarded stories and novels) later, my husband asked, “Are you ever going to try to publish one of those?” To appease him, I sent one off. And to my shock, the publisher wanted it.
Fifteen years on, here I am with about 70 published books, hundreds of unpublished stories, and a side-career I enjoy the hell out of. And I am still trying, every day, to give fictional same-sex couples their romance, their joy, their hope.
I have a bunch of free books out there you can download from most retailers. (Given my day job, I can afford to sometimes share my writing.) You can find novels like my WWII-to-2011 epic romance Into Deep Waters, or my high fantasy with PTSD Nor Iron Bars a Cage, or a contemporary bi-awakening The Rebuilding Year, or my werewolf paranormal Unacceptable Risk for free.
You are also welcome to join my Facebook Group – Kaje’s Conversation Corner – where the following short story first appeared. I write a new story almost every Sunday, for folks to start a morning with my guys. There are over 100 stories on the group you can read.
I love writing. (Can you tell?) I love reading too, and I do a lot of reviewing, to share my favorite books with the hope other readers will enjoy them too.
Gay romance is vitally important, more now than ever before. When we shine a light on the fact that love is love, that all consenting adults are worthy of respect and joy, we make the world a better place (and have a ton of fun, and some heat, along the way.)
I hope you enjoy this story, and any book of mine you might pick up. I hope you read all the wonderful authors out there writing queer fiction (including my friend Gabbi Grey who introduced me to Delilah.) Thank you for being readers, one of the best ways to escape the world for a moment. Also one of the best ways to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes. With luck, you’ll enjoy a few of the sneakers, Oxfords, and cowboy boots I have to offer.
Try Again
Nights were the worst. The house ticked and clicked and creaked, and every noise should’ve been Tim coming home. Except they weren’t. Six days, and I was going crazy there in the dark.
I hate these nights alone. Reflexively, I patted the bed to coax our dog up where she wasn’t supposed to be. Except… Tim took Bella with him. When he left me.
Shit.
I got up and stretched my cramped back, the scrub pants I wore slipping down my hips. I tugged them higher, aching for Tim to laugh and say, “Putting on a free show?”
In the mirror over the dresser, I saw what he would’ve seen. An older man with gray in his beard and a belly that no longer stayed flat without more work than I’d given it recently. Tim was ten years younger than me. Was it any wonder he’d traded me in? Probably he was out right now with someone younger and more fun, someone whose abs looked like a cheese grater and whose hair had no betraying silver strands under the lights of a club.
Not that we’d been to a club in ages, for him to see my hair catching lights. Not that we’d been anywhere.
Do you blame him for leaving?
I didn’t. Not really. I hurt, probably always would, but the words he’d thrown at me when he walked out the door with Bella had been only the truth. I was too fixated on my career, aiming for head of orthopedic surgery a decade younger than my dad had managed. I was forgetful, and missing celebrating the ninth anniversary of our first-date had been the last straw. And I was an unfit parent for Bella-dog, with the hours I spent out of the house.
I wandered downstairs to the kitchen. Rain lashed the window, and sodden branches flailed against the city-lit sky. I hoped Tim was somewhere warm and dry. He wasn’t a fan of storms. Neither was Bella, but at least they had each other for comfort. Thunder and lightning had never bothered me, not since I was little. There were enough real things in the world that would hurt me; no need to start worrying about noise and lights locked safely outside.
The overhead light dazzled my eyes when I flicked it on. I’d promised Tim I’d install a dimmer switch. I was handy like that, knew a lot about repairing and electricity and plumbing, since Dad had Uncle Joe teach me solid man-of-the-house skills. Too bad I was weak on the follow-through. I’d meant to get to it. I had the parts in a drawer.
Suddenly, being alone with idle hands and too much in my head made my chest tight. I’ll do it now. Six days too late, of course, and stupid, with darkness outside and lightning in the air. Still, the need to fix this one thing I could fix was too strong to resist. I got out the replacement switch, pliers, screw drivers, flashlight. The breaker box was handy on the other wall. Flashlight in hand, I pulled down the breaker, plunging the kitchen into darkness.
Taking off the old switch was the matter of a few minutes, even though one screw was painted shut and needed a razor blade to free it. Connecting the new one was trickier. The wires were stiff, their insulation brittle, and they didn’t want to bend and fit back in the box. I wrestled with it, leaning on the plate to bring the screws close enough to bite in the threads.
Outside, the storm whistled and growled, rumbles of thunder following each other like Godzilla surf on a giant beach. Something thumped the front of the house, and I just hoped it wasn’t the old apple tree losing a branch. I got the top screw to turn a few times, catching in the receptacle. Carefully, I set the lower screw in place and eased the screwdriver into it. Yeah, take that. I’ve got you now.
Lightning flashed and a clap of thunder hit hard enough to feel the vibrations. I jumped, popped out the screw, and with a little “plick” into the silent aftermath, the other screw came out, bounced, and rolled under the fridge. The pressure of the bent wires pushed the new switch out to dangle like a half-passed placenta, trailing wires.
“Fuck!” I dropped to my knees, shining the flashlight under the stove. The dust bunnies mocked me with a flicker of silver far off in their midst. When was the last time I offered to clean the damned kitchen? I reached under, but the front grill jammed my wrist, not even close to the distance I needed. Holding the screwdriver by the tip, I swept underneath there, raising a storm of allergen-filled tumbleweeds, but no screw. On my second pass, the screwdriver slipped from my hand and rolled under too.
I was left staring at my empty fingers.
“Shit!” I sat up, glancing around the dark kitchen wildly for a better tool. Spatula? Broom handle? It seemed like too much effort to stand up. I guess you’re not man enough to fix a switch after all, huh Charles?
The first sob caught me by surprise. The second one ripped out of my chest like it had claws. It hurt so bad. I curled on my side, knees to my chest, teeth gritted. Real men don’t cry. Real men don’t fucking cry. Except I knew how wrong that was, all that toxic shit I thought I’d slammed a coffin lid on years ago. Tim cried at dead birds and sad movies. He’d let me hold him when the tears fell, and made me feel strong and important and needed.
Outside the storm raged. Inside, the old house was a realm of silence and dust and lost dreams. I closed my eyes, ignoring the hard floor against my forty-year-old hip. Another crack of thunder. Another rumble that my stupid brain could pretend was the garage door going up. I hope you’re safe, Tim. I hope you’re with someone good, who’ll let you cry on them. Jesus Christ, I miss you so much.
The tears came then, not the wild angry sobs I was expecting, but a gentle purging of everything inside me, in shudders and soft sounds and a flood I couldn’t resist. I scrunched my eyes shut and let my cheeks get wet and my throat clamp down around those sounds. For once, I’m going to feel what I damned feel.
“Charles! Are you okay?”
It took an instant for Tim’s voice to register, but his hand on my shoulder and the swipe of Bella’s tongue across my face were too solid to be ghosts.
I opened my eyes, staring, as Tim pushed Bella away. “Sit, girl. You might hurt him.”
I caught his wrist. The delicate bones were solid under my fingers. Radius, ulna, trapezium, scaphoid. Words that had taken me away from him. I pulled his arm to my face and kissed the soft skin there, over those bones, then remembered I didn’t have that right anymore.
I dropped his arm like it was hot and pushed up to sitting, scrubbing at my face. “Sorry, so sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.”
“You’re scaring me, babe,” he said, peering at my face in the thin beam of the flashlight. “What’s going on?”
“I’m fine, I, um…” I missed you. I tried to fix something. But outside the operating room I’m a failure. I couldn’t get words out. Bella popped her butt up and came back over, big tail wagging, to slurp over my face with her tongue. I didn’t push her off, because it was an excuse to close my eyes and not have to look at Tim. “Did you come for your things?”
“Do you want me to take them?”
“No!” I bit my lip.
“Why are you on the floor in your pajamas, Charlie?”
“Why are you here?” I was suddenly angry. Why couldn’t you let me have my breakdown in secret? Why do you have to know how weak I am? “It’s got to be―” I glanced at the clock. “It’s past midnight. What are you doing here?”
“I missed you,” he said, with a simplicity that was Tim at his best. “I was sitting in a motel room, hugging Bella, both of us miserable, and I simply missed you. And I thought, nothing’s worth losing your arms around me. You’ve been my home for the last nine years, and I wanted to go home.” He bent to meet my lowered gaze. “Is that all right? Can I come home?”
“Jesus. Tim.” I grabbed him and pulled him close. Bella danced around us, licking at our necks, then, at a more distant peel of thunder, crouched down and tried to crawl into both our laps. Instinctively, with long practice, we moved our bodies apart to make room for fifty pounds of worried dog. I kept my face pressed to Tim’s hair, though. “I missed you too. So much. I couldn’t sleep and I couldn’t eat and every noise wasn’t you coming back and I tried to fix the light switch, the way I promised you, except the wires are stiff and the screw went under the fridge and I dropped the screwdriver under too. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”
Tim gave a watery chuckle against my shoulder. “I’m not that attached to the screwdriver.”
I couldn’t laugh. “You were right. I’ve been chasing a dream and I lost you along the way and it’s not even my own damned dream, it’s my father’s.”
“You’re allowed to want to do well at your job.”
“Yeah, but I don’t even want to be Chief. All it means is more paperwork and personnel hassles and less time in the OR. I got so blinded by being shortlisted this early in my career…”
Tim kissed my cheek. “You know, if your old man was still around, I’d kill him for the ways he still twists you up, twenty years later.”
“You wouldn’t.” I choked on a giggle as Bella lifted her nose to lick under my chin. “Stop, girl. Enough slobber. Tim, you’d never kill anyone. You’re the best person I know.”
“Itch powder in his shorts, then. A bad picture of him on Twitter.”
“My fierce protector.”
“Am I?” Tim pulled back to look up at me. “I feel like you don’t need me. I’m a warm body in the bed and a hot meal, the times you actually make it home before midnight.”
“No. Jesus, no. You’re… you’re the reason I can get up in the morning and go to work. The reason I can look someone in the eye and tell them they’re going to lose a leg, and not break down myself. You’re the center of everything.”
“Oh.”
“You should never feel you’re not special. I screwed up, I know, but I’m going to fix it. I’ll be different. I took my name out of the running for Chief, I can’t breathe without you, I swear I―”
He put his fingers on my mouth. “Not tonight. No promises, no plans. We’ll talk tomorrow.”
I nodded vigorously and kissed the tips of his fingers, trying to show him how much I wanted that.
He smiled softly. “Right now I’m beat, and you look like ten miles of rough dirt road.”
I cupped a hand over my chin, where the most white showed. Maybe I should shave my beard. I’d thought it gave me gravitas, for that Chief of Surgery position, but Tim deserved someone younger―
Tim pulled my hand down and nipped my chin. “And I don’t mean the gray hair, dork. You look like you need sleep as bad as I do.”
Exhaustion suddenly overwhelmed me. There was nothing I wanted more than our bed, and Tim in it. “Yes, please. Except I didn’t finish the switch.”
“Is it safe to leave it?”
“It’s hanging out. It’s a mess.”
“But is it safe?”
“I suppose so, as long as the breaker’s off. The fridge is on a different circuit.”
“Then come to bed, babe. We’ll figure it out in the morning.”
As we stood, I took one last look at the shadow of my incompetence on the wall, but Tim switched off the flashlight and took my cold fingers in his warm ones. Bella followed us upstairs to our room. I climbed into bed and sat propped against the headboard, watching Tim get undressed. He stopped at boxers and got in beside me. “No sex, hon. We both need to sleep, and talk.”
“Can I hold you?” I asked tentatively.
“Please.” He turned out the lamp and rolled on his side facing away.
I eased up behind him and slid a knee forward to touch his thigh. When he didn’t object, I worked an arm around his chest and pulled him against me. He sighed deeply and pressed my hand over his heart.
There were a hundred things we’d need to talk about in the light of day, but right now, as the last of the storm faded in the distance, there was nothing I wanted more than this quiet moment with Tim in my arms. I was about to kiss the back of his neck when the bed bounced, something hit my back, and I almost bit my lip.
“What the― Bella, what are you doing up here? The storm’s gone. Your bed is down there.”
She gazed at me, dark eyes reflecting the faint light, and whined.
Tim cleared his throat. “Um, while I was gone, I just might’ve maybe let Bella sleep in the bed at night?”
“Might’ve?”
“Well, there was too much space. And not enough you.”
“So you replaced me with a hairy Lab-mix?”
“Maybe?”
At my back, Bella trod in a circle and lay down with a contented sigh. I stared down at Tim. “We’re never getting her back on the floor, are we?”
“Probably not.”
“Do we need a bigger bed?”
“Not if we sleep close.”
Warmth rose in my chest, strangling any words I could’ve found. That’s all I want, now and always, you and me, sleeping close. With a big hairy dog snoring at my back, I gathered the man I’d almost lost into my arms, settled against his back, and closed my eyes.
### the end ###
You can find me online on my blog – kajeharper.com – or on Facebook, Book Bub, and Goodreads : Links
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