Laurie Perry's Blog, page 16

Gratuitous Cat Picture Wednesday

This week has been mad unstable so instead of transcribing what I hope is the last of my run of bad luck, I have decided instead to post pictures of stuff I like. Take that, Suckadelelic Universe. Anyway what I am thinking here is that things will either make a turnaround real soon (as things do) OR I will be writing my next dispatch from the remote badlands of Sinaloa where I will have run off to to join a drug cartel and write narcocorridos that feature bad 1980s hiphop slang. Represent!

STUFF I LOVE

I love all the bougainvillea growing wild in alleys and on hillsides in Los Angeles:

I love the greasy spoon breakfast and pretty much everything about Dupar's:

I love looking up for no reason at all except maybe feeling like someone is watching me and seeing a cat chilling on the second floor window ledge:

And speaking of felines, I love my fur-wearing sentries who keep all the windows here secure and well-watched at all times:

(Notice my awesome pile of boxes in the background. Decorating. It's a modern art installation, people.)

There is a lot going on across the alley, this new nemesis has proven especially daunting:

Bob has it under control:

What do you love today?

Friday Q&A & Cat

At ease, everyone.

A few recent reader questions:

• On the subject of decluttering, reader Connie asked, "I'm puzzled because no one has mentioned selling/yard or garage sales. Does no one do that any more?"

Hi Connie! I love yard sales. It's what I think of as Southern Recycling. I used to have yard sales from time to time when I lived in that little house in Encino-adjacent and had a yard. There are a lot of similarities between this re-adjustment and that one, like moving from a larger space to a much smaller space. But there's one big difference -- no yard! There's just no logical or appropriate place for something like that out here. And it's fine, I like the slower pace of filling up a bag or a box and putting it aside for charity. But I'm pretty sure there are still plenty of folks out there saling the yard!

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• Reader Margot wrote: "I was mystified about why you were keeping either of the fondue pots or the saws. Going from 2 of each to 1 of each still seems like a giant waste of space and energy toward managing STUFF since you don't need either."

Good morning, Margot! The simplest answer I can give you is this: my goal is not to live a spartan, austere life with no decoration.

I love that cool, 1960s atomic-age fondue pot. It's awesome. It makes me laugh when I think about it and it looks fantastic displayed in my home.

The purpose of decluttering in my life is to fit better into my much smaller home, have less overall stuff to move next time and fewer piles of stuff to clean. For me, that means letting go of things that don't make me happy and letting go of things I can easily borrow elsewhere or do without to make room for the things I love.

There were a few commenters who mentioned they were able to get their entire collection of worldly possessions into two suitcases. Two suitcases! I found that astonishing, and while I was intrigued by it I know I am not someone who ever wants to carry my life in a suitcase or two. BEEN THERE. Maybe my childhood turned me into a person who wants to nest and have things, my poor shrink has her work cut out for her. All I know is that for me a two-suitcase life is not the goal. I enjoy all the worldly pleasures that God created, including decorative kitchenware.

The trick is to find a balance here in my home. My goal is no mystery piles, no stuffed closets, no duplicates, no huge unused items hulking in the corner (treadmill, I'm looking at you.) It's a far cry from austerity, but everyone works at their own pace.

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Janice asked, "I wonder what your thoughts are on Kindles or ebooks? We share a great love for books... I'll never give up reading, but the thought of being able to store thousands of books on one device is very appealing. Then again, I don't know that I want to give up the paper version, or having a bookshelf full of my favorite books to display."

Janice, you and I are sharing a mind meld on this one! I love my paper books, too. This move showed me with a big blazing neon sign that I have to re-think my book strategy. I personally buy books as my way to support authors (my choice for obvious reasons.) But I can't move that many boxes of books again. So I'm still going to buy books (OK, if I ever become flush again, which I will, fingers crossed, and until then will read the massive pile of unread books from my own shelves) and when I finish a book I am going to do my very best to pass it along, either to my grandma or mom or the library.

And I'm going to embrace the eBook. I haven't figured out which reader to go with and it doesn't matter since I wouldn't be buying one right this second anyway. But I am getting on that train. This moving business is crazymaking, but if it helps prod me up the technology food chain I think it's not that bad.

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• Reader Cathy in Wisconsin writes, "Just the paranoia coming out, but do you ever find it dangerous walking in the Hollywood hills? I would have a taser in one hand and a can of pepper spray in the other. This is coming from someone who lives in rural Wisconsin though!"

Hello Cathy! This question is timely as I am just about to hit "send" on this entry and lace up my shoes for a climb up into the hills.

I don't find it dangerous territory, the movie stars and labradoodles of the Hollywood Hills are fairly well-behaved. There is the occasional wild-eyed murder suspect running around but you know in advance because of the throng of helicopters hovering overhead.

The Hollywood Hills are spectacular, probably one of my favorite areas in the city. I love the houses barnacled to the hillsides, the strange architecture, winding dead-end roads and odd landscaping choices. I love the views! And the dubious human flotsam down at street level in Hollywood doesn't seem interested in making the trek uphill so it's surprisingly peaceful. When you come visit from Wisconsin be sure to spend a morning driving around the Hills.

Unless you see a throng of helicopters overhead.

- - -

Have a happy weekend filled with decorative fondue pots or similar!

Cat pants crack me UP.

C'mon shake your body baby do that conga, know you can't control yourself any longer

My little offhanded mention of the TV show Extreme Couponing had so many folks talking about the show that I decided I had to watch an episode or two. Ever the TV overachiever I tuned in for a couple of episodes last night and once I got past my initial disappointment that it was not a show about people cutting coupons while skydiving, motorbiking or climbing Everest I was unable to look away. I wanted to hate the show -- the sheer overuse of the word "couponing" alone predisposed me to dislike it -- but it was oddly riveting.

The first episode I caught featured a single mom in Chicago who seemed really normal and frugal and lovely. It also followed a cute young newlywed couple who used a bazillion coupons to buy a truckload of crap for FREE and then they donated the whole load to charity. I liked them a lot. And they didn't just say they were going to donate it, you actually see them doing it. Not the case with one of the other shows where a woman vaguely mentioned the idea of donating one of her eleventeen hundred tubes of toothpaste but you got the distinct feeling she was never letting go of one item.

They may be hoarders but, wow are they organized. And I kind of admire that commitment even though I can't wrap my mind around purchasing or carrying or storing 900 bottles of liquid detergent. I can barely find space for an extra roll of toilet paper here in Apartment Of Unspecified Location. Mostly though I was shocked to learn that some of these folks spend well over thirty hours a week clipping, sorting and fussing with their coupons! This says more about me than the coupon fanatics but the first thought that popped into my brain was, "Thirty hours! You could be writing a novel, lady!"

Overall it was fascinating, though. One gal bought 93 bags of croutons for free with her coupons and nary a head of lettuce in the bunch. Listen, I love me some croutons. But even a loyal and devout crouton fan such as myself can't eat 93 bags of crunchified bread without some salad. But I couldn't hate on her, she seemed so ridiculously happy with her croutons. Whatever floats your boat. It did strike me that this whole couponing/hoarding situation seems like a distinctly North American thing. What do you think?

Yesterday it was hot as the scorching surface of the sun here in Los Angeles so while I watched my reality TV I did a little knitting. To be more accurate I did a little reknitting. When I first started down this wild road paved with so many skeins of wool I had just no idea what I was doing. Honestly. And I knew that everyone said not to knit a heavy scarf in stockinette because it would allegedly roll into a long tube. Yeah, yeah yeah. Why I thought the rules of physics and alchemy and stockinette did not apply to me is a mystery of my id. Oh the bravado of new crafters! So I knitted myself a longass stockinette scarf with big ol' pompom ends and sure enough I got myself a tube to end all tubes:

The pompoms rock, though.

I carefully unfastened the big poms from the tube and started unknitting the tube and reknitting it into a perfect garter stitch scarf. I don't care how uncultured and uninteresting you think I am, I love me some garter stitch. This is a perfect project for a little afternoon knitting. It makes more sense that I would spend my winters knitting wool items that I can't wear here in my beloved city because it never really gets cold enough to require more than a windbreaker anyway. BUT I prefer to knit in the summer. It's my thing. I like hibernating in the heat of the day with sticks, strings and a furry yarn-holder-downwer:

Aw, I love her.

Bits and Bobs

BITS

There has been so much going on in my TV life! There was of course the Royal Wedding and then the big international Navy SEALS Are Hot news and those crazy real housewives of New York. This is turning out to be a great May sweeps season. I love teevee.

Oh, speaking of New York... have you seen this video on youtube of a woman living in a 90 square foot apartment in Manhattan? I find New Yorkers to be utterly fascinating, like they are from another world. Apparently no one ever cooks in New York City and everyone uses the oven for storage. All I know about New York I have learned from TV and TV never lies.

And there is new Obesity TV, you know I never miss a moment of that. Have you been watching Addicted To Food on OWN? You could not pay me a bazillion dollars to get in front of a camera or sit in a group and talk about my mommy issues but it does make for oddly voyeuristic TV. Also, is it true that there is a television program called Extreme Couponing? Does it feature people with gigantic scissors cutting coupons while skydiving? This is what I imagine.

The most interesting interview I've seen in a long time was yesterday's Oprah show with Shania Twain. Half the time I was thinking, hello! She went through my divorce! Except of course I did not live in a Swiss Chalet. And I didn't personally know the other woman. And also I am not a famous country singer. But still! Such similar emotions. After I saw the interview I recorded a season pass to Shania Twain's new docu-reality-show also on OWN. Oh Oprah Winfrey, you and your network will keep me happily indoors on hot days.

LIKE TODAY.

It's going to be 97 degrees today! Summer came on early and strong! If you're not watching TV it's perfect weather to go to the beach with a book, and my book of choice is of course The Great Gatsby, our book club selection for May. Don't forget to come back on May 23rd to talk about the book! You still have time, it's a very slim little novel and you can read it in a weekend. And you'll feel smart at parties. "What did you do last weekend?" "Oh, just the usual, made spaghetti, did a little shopping, read The Great Gatsby, worked on a cure for cancer."



May 23rd! Great Gatsby Book Club Discussion!

OTHER STUFF



Reader Johann wrote: Can you do a blog post on tips for moving REALLY fast? I'll bet you learned something from your sudden move.

Well, I did learn many things and although I'm not sure how useful they will be I am happy to share.

1) When you have to move FAST -- even if you hate it and don't want to do it and have all kinds of emotional issues about it -- the priority is to move first, fall apart majestically later.

2) The essentials are: find new place, switch utilities, get your mail forwarded (you can do it online), get boxes and tape, get packed, get moving. I didn't have time to sort and file and pare down before the move and I didn't have time to be super organized and color code or label boxes and in fact I didn't even have time to clean this new apartment before moving into it. BUT I LIVED. Take care of the essentials and the rest will follow.

3) Get busy. The natural human tendency is to sit in the closet and gnaw on your arm but the process will go much easier if you just 100% commit to the move and get it done. You can even make a nice running list of stuff to complain about later, and stuff to worry about later. Resist the urge to huddle in a ball under the covers. Pack a box instead.

4) The world will keep spinning on its axis if you just throw all your stuff randomly into boxes. It won't be the easiest move but you will live.

5) Pack one suitcase or special box or bag with your underwear and REMEMBER WHICH ONE IT IS.

6) Ask the movers to move your fridge out last and in first so you can get it plugged in as quickly as possible. (I didn't have time to even clean out my fridge before the move and still, I lived!) (Of course maybe where you live apartments come with refrigerators. Not so in the city of Angels.)

I guess what I am saying here is that even if your move is unexpected and awful and afterward you have to go to therapy twice a week like some people and hide in your closet and cry into a pizza, it's OK. After the big sucking part you will, in time, manage to figure out a new normal. This is not comforting in the moment and probably not helpful during the move. But I figure if an OCD control enthusiast such as myself can do a massive throw-it-together move completely by herself in two-and-a-half days (except for the actual day of the move I hired some guys) and still be standing upright then anyone can do it.

(Wow that last sentence was crazy convoluted. Take that, editors of the world!)

A move doesn't have to be perfectly organized or plotted three months in advance or carefully coordinated. Yes, that would be ideal. But sometimes you just have to go with it and make the very best of what you've got.

I think that's what I learned from this whole experience. There was a part of me that deeply wanted to push against it and resist it and dig my heels in and complain like it was the World Olympic Complaining Marathon. But the very best course of action for me was to go with the flow, accept the reality, get it done and deal with the fallout later. It's been a few weeks now and I'm still worried about how much this cost and I still can't quite fit my sofa in my new living room in any configuration that makes sense, but I'm alive. I'm alive and I have a roof over my head and I finally got the yarn unpacked.

Hope your move goes well. Use the cheapy brown tape instead of the clear moving tape -- it's stickier and works better.

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And now for BOBS:

So Los Angeles

Yes, this is just what we need... a way to make kids even more adorably funny:

Oh Happy Day!

You know it's going to be a good day when you wake up, watch a Royal Wedding, go for an almost-five-mile walk up in the hills (!!) and come home to this breakfast:

Seriously, is there a better summertime breakfast than a sweet slice of cold watermelon? It feels like summer already here because it's so warm out. I had my doubts about the early season on-sale melon supply but this was the best $4.22 I have spent in a long time. I think I can probably eat a whole watermelon in a day. Today may be that day.

When Jennifer was last here visiting me a few weeks ago -- she had just moved up to San Francisco and I had just moved into Undisclosed Location -- she saw me at my trainwreck lowest, and she made a suggestion that stuck with me.

"Don't forget about walking, that always seems to make you feel so much better," she said. She's known me a long time and she was absolutely right about the walking.

Last week I found a route that takes me up out of this transient little pocket and up into the winding Hollywood Hills, one of my favorite areas in the entire world. I love the rambling houses precariously tipping down the hillsides, I love the quirkiness of the neighborhoods and the lush quiet.

(It was cloudy and the camera focused on the flower, but the view from that gate was spectacular.)

Walking costs nothing, requires no special equipment (other than comfortable shoes) and takes no studied skill or precision. But after just a few days of walking every day I can feel a huge difference in my attitude, my energy level and my optimism. When my life gets crazy out of control it seems like the first thing to go is anything good for me -- exercise gets pushed aside, I drink too much, I eat crappy food, I stop sleeping. But I have decided that as far as strategies for living go my descend-into-madness routine SUCKS. Next time I hit a stressful patch I'm going to try my humanly best to do at least one positive thing for myself and that is to walk. Walk as often and as long as possible. Walk, and then walk some more.

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Just want to say that my thoughts are with everyone in the South. I can't think of anything scarier than a tornado. Honestly. I saw Maury County on the news last night but they didn't show much, I hope everyone is OK!

Is there some weird life-rattling cosmo stuff going on? Seems like the whole planet is getting it. Usually I don't go out into the Shirley Maclaine territory, much, but my friend Astrologer Phyllis promises that come mid-May life smooths out and becomes sweet. And you know what, I have decided to believe her. That's right. If it is good enough for Nancy Reagan it is good enough for me.

Hang in there, everyone.

- - -

Mysterious Lump On A Friday:

Lump, Uncovered:

Thanks & such

Thanks everyone for chatting with me about your life. It was fascinating, and appreciated.

Veddy inneresting, indeed.

Notes from the half-way place

A few weeks ago I got drunk and declared to the world at large that I was paring down by one half. Donate, sell, give away to friends, recycle, whatever, just reduce my personal collection of stuff by one half.

I had my own reasons. I had just gone through a move that was traumatic and expensive and required two trips on the moving truck and three movers. For one woman.

One human with all that stuff!

It costs money to house and move and transport and clean and care for that much stuff. It takes time and energy. And I am not yet done moving in my life, so I figured I could either sit in a corner and chew on my arm while dreading my own belongings or I could take this opportunity to lighten up. Action makes me feel like control and control makes me feel like I'm not going insane so you know, I took action. It's not everyone's way of dealing but it's how I do things.

Listen, there are times when it's healthy to sit and feel your feelings. Then there are times when your feelings will rear up and snatch you baldheaded and your best bet is to drink wine from a large mug and clean out your sock drawer until your feelings become less CRAZY. Trust me on this one.

When I shared my desire to get rid of half my stuff the responses were fascinating. I love people, love how we're all so different. Some folks immediately chimed in with, "Me, too!" or offered support or little tips for de-cluttering. Some folks found it all too sudden and worried that I was being impulsive and cavalier.

"Don't be hasty," one commenter cautioned. "You might regret it."

Lots of people worried I was downsizing my cats, and I ignored them since I assumed they were stoned.

Some felt it important to point out that my fondue pots or saws were not exact duplicates. Each has its own special use, each is unique. Never mind that I didn't use either fondue pot and that one of my handsaws was still in its original unopened packaging. Or that a woman living alone in a tiny city apartment needs not one but TWO saws.

This email said so much:

Dear Laurie, Please keep both saws! They are as different as boots and sandals and made for entirely different purposes. The one with the miter box is for small stuff, even metal stuff, that is only as deep as the distance from the top to the blade. The other saw is for wood and other bulky materials (plastic pipe etc) like when you want to cut a log for the fireplace or a branch off a tree. It will be the most useful for you. Best wishes!

I kind of loved that email. The urgency of the saw-keeping emotion was tangible. I felt it. I still got rid of the saw but I felt the keeper's longing in that note. Realistically, though, I live in urban temporary housing, a three-floor walkup with parking meters out front. My firewood and branch-cutting needs are minimal. If there comes a day when I need to saw my way out of a tree I will probably just call the fire department. But still I appreciated the deep desire to hang on, just in case.

Mostly I was interested to learn how exact and precise and semantically fastidious some folks are about phrases like "one half." I'm fairly certain no one is going to show up at my doorstep one day in August and measure my belongings by volume or weight or do an item-by-item analysis and fine me for being one-eleventeenth over the line on coffee mugs. Listen, I can't even get anyone out to fix my stove. There's not an apartment police nearby.

One Half was just my vague but simple goal, a good way to pare down. You could call it downsizing if this math is making you break into hives.

Some areas for downsizing were obvious and easy in my hoard. If there was a duplicate, it had to go. If it was broken, unused or never going to be used it went. If it was a gift I never wanted it went.

Other areas are harder and require flexibility. I don't have a lot of DVDs but the ones I have are all watched periodically, I like them all, I picked each one with care, and they have a designated storage space. No need to make myself feel bad and force myself to pare down something I enjoy when I can just as easily overcompensate paring down things I don't love, like old socks and T-shirts that I never wear or paper products I have never used.

It's slow going and not always easy. Over the weekend I finally unpacked the books, scrutinizing each one before placing it on the shelf. Paring down books is an absolute necessity but it's not easy for me. I started with easier things like kitchen stuff and doodads and T-shirts so that when I got to the book boxes (17 of them, thank you) I was in a paring-down groove and it went well. I didn't get rid of half by a longshot but I did manage to thin the herd.

As I unpacked books I put all my unread books in one area of the shelves and at the end of the weekend I was surprised to discover that about 40% of what I kept are books I haven't even read yet! (Not including craft books and reference books, and I have a lot of those still, very hard to pare down there.) Now I can book shop from my own shelves -- that certainly fits my budget.

After reading that comment from a stranger, the one who cautioned me I may regret my decision to downsize, I wondered if I would miss this stuff. Would I regret it? Regret is one of the few emotions I think is useless and I try not to hover there for long. I decided it wasn't even a question worth thinking about. I can't live my life paralyzed, scared I'll regret giving away a dumb fondue pot or an old Sidney Sheldon paperback.

I'd prefer to cultivate hope, not regret. I hope this process will help me feel more connected to people than to items. I hope that I have a better appreciation for each day instead of each thing. I hope that moving will be easier next time. I hope that I can spend less time cleaning and organizing and stacking my stuff and more time living my life.

And anyway, when it comes to stuff they're still making it every day. You can always re-stuffify. There will always be saws on the shelves for your future unseen branch-cutting needs.

Do you have real-life friends?

Do you have friends, a social circle? Or are you dangling out there alone in this realm?

I'm curious and want to know.

Also, good for this research endeavor: Do you live in a city or a small(ish) town? Are you close to your family? Also are you the kind of person who has Easter plans to be with your kids and extended family or is your Easter about doing laundry and catching up on your Tivo? [Anthropological disclaimer, I will be doing laundry and eating chocolate at breakfast then going for a jog to offset the disgust.]

The other remaining question for my small scientific study: Is your boyfriend/girlfriend/significant other the primary occupant of your social circle?

Thank you for participating. Mainly hoping to offset my own perceived failures.

Can't you see I am TRYING TO MAKE A CALL