Chris Eboch's Blog, page 44

A Strong Start

Writers spend a lot of time worrying about their first page. You want to draw the reader in immediately, but unless the book is a sequel, the reader is starting with nothing. An opening has to introduce the main character, establish the setting, and capture the author's/character's voice. Ideally, it will clarify the genre and give the reader an idea of what to expect from the rest of the book. That's a lot to get into a page or two.
In an unpublished fantasy novel, I realized during revisions that I didn't have any fantasy elements in the first 20 pages, which would mislead the reader into thinking this was straight historical fiction. I changed to this opening:
Anise knew the candy must be enchanted. The genie cook always put some kind of protection on the food, so no one could eat it until he said so. Would it stick her jaws together so she couldn't speak? Turn her lips and tongue blue? Taste like camel dung?
It's definitely fantasy now. In The Well of Sacrifice , I think I started too slow, with too many details of setting and culture before we got to a problem happening now. You want to start in a moment of action, where something is changing, and cut the background. The book is still in print after 12 years, so I guess the start didn't bother people too much, but if I revised it now I'd try for more early action.
On the other hand, don't rush things—take a little time to set up the situation, so it makes sense and we care about the characters, and what's happening to them. Sometimes writers worry too much about flashy writing, and they come up with openings that are confusing or misleading. The first chapter tells you what to expect from the rest of the book, whether it's humor, action, tragedy or whatever. So you don't just need a good hook—you need the best hook for this novel, a hook that will attract those readers who will most enjoy the book. A clever, funny hook is great—but only if the rest of the book is also clever and funny.
Don't worry about the beginning during the first draft. Chances are it will change completely anyway. Wait until you have a solid plot before you start fine-tuning your opening and ending. Many authors write a novel, then throw away the first chapter and write a new first chapter—the one that belongs there. It seems like it's almost impossible to write a strong opening until you've finished the rest of the book.
You can test both your opening and your ending by seeing how much you can cut. What if you delete the first sentence, the first paragraph, the first page? Does the story still make sense? Does it get off to a faster start? What if you cut the whole first chapter, or several chapters? If you can't cut, can you condense?
On the other hand, if your beginning feels confusing or rushed, you might want to try starting earlier in the story. Try setting up a small problem that grabs the reader's attention, luring them in until you can get to the main problem. In The Well of Sacrifice , the Maya are dealing with famine, disease and marauders in the early chapters, even before the king dies and an evil high priest tries to take over. That gives readers time to understand these characters and their world.
In Haunted: The Ghost on the Stairs, Jon doesn't find out that his sister has seen a ghost until chapter 3, but he's worried by her fainting at the end of chapter 1. That builds suspense slowly, instead of having the kids run into a ghost in the opening scene, before we even know these characters or why they're here.
Do you need help with your opening? Post the beginning of your work in progress in the comments—up to 250 words—for a free critique later this month.

In this long conversation between Joe Konrath, the torchb...

In this long conversation between Joe Konrath, the torchbearer for self-publishing, and Barry Eisler, an author of bestselling thrillers who has decided to give up traditional publishing for self-publishing, they make an interesting comparison between the music industry and book publishing. Not just that both are suffering because of digital media, but rather that the music industry spent its time and money fighting against piracy instead of building a digital distribution system, allowing Apple—a computer company—to take over music delivery. Joe says, "Simon and Schuster or Random House should have invented the ereader. They should have been selling ebooks from their websites a decade ago. Instead, an online bookseller, Amazon, is leading the revolution."Barry Eisler responded, "If you think about it, for years publishers have been steadily outsourcing their core business functions. Culling the slush pile went to agents long ago. A lot of editorial devolved to agents, too. Marketing has increasingly become the responsibility of writers, who are expected to blog and be social media demons. I think publishers felt comfortable outsourcing all these functions because they felt the lock they had on their core function—distribution—made their overall position impregnable."The problem is, they've lost that lock, and they've already outsourced so many of their other functions that it's getting hard for them to offer a writer a coherent value proposition. For now, they have enough cash to offer advances, which most authors will need to live for the same reason most people need a mortgage to buy a house. But even that advantage is being eroded by digital, because with digital, you publish right away and start earning right away."Are publishers becoming obsolete? I don't expect traditional publishing to go away anytime sound. But in this changing climate, authors—even those who are traditionally published—have many new incentives for turning to self-publishing. According to Mark Coker in the Huffington Post, "More and more talented writers—including authors previously published by the Big 6—are losing faith in the old system of publishing."He lists as reasons:Advances are decliningPublishers reluctant to take chances on authors without established platformsMost print books forced out of print before they've had a chance to reach readersAuthors expected to shoulder most post-publication marketing on their own dimeLost and mismanaged rights Brick and mortar retail distribution disappearingPublishers value books through myopic prism of perceived commercial potential (publisher death panels)Publishers acquire today what was hot yesterday so they can publish it 12-18 months from tomorrowPublishers over-price and under-distribute author worksPublisher ebook royalties 17% list (25% net) vs 60-70% list (85-100% net) for self-publishingSo what does the future hold? Do traditional publishers need to change their ways? Or will the self-publishing revolution fade away as most "indie" authors fail to sell well?

Get to the Point

Last week I talked about the importance of balancing action and dialogue, using advice from some of Hollywood's best scriptwriters. Be careful about including too much description as well—too much of any one thing, really. Above all, screenwriters know the value of editing—and so should you. Studios expect scripts to be within a certain length, generally 90 to 120 pages. Although some movies today run longer than that, any writer who turns in a 300-page script looks like an amateur. Novelists don't always have such stringent requirements, but there's still a valuable lesson here.
"You should always be moving on to the next story point," Liar, Liar writer Paul Guay says, "so you have almost no time to indulge in character flourishes or slow moments. If something is off-topic it has to go. Screenwriting teaches you to be ruthless."
Sweet Home Alabama writer Doug  Eboch says, "I'll go back through every line and look for lazy writing, dialogue or description that doesn't advance the character or plot, and see if there's a better way to do that."
As for description, keep it short. "A little detail is good in the beginning," David Steinberg, author of Slackers, claims, "but readers don't care what things look like on Page 3, let alone on Page 50. Use description sparingly, and only if it's really relevant."
Novelists who focus on action over description are a step closer to making their books page-turners. However, you must remember that you don't have the luxury of visual aids, as screenwriters do. Make up for the lack of visuals by appealing to all five senses. Just keep the story moving, and use short descriptions to advance the plot, not distract from it.
Novelists have some advantages over screenwriters. Don Hewitt, who adapter Spirited Away with his wife, says, "You're so sparse when writing a screenplay, but a novel's fun because you're able to explain the emotions more clearly, and you can use any voice. You have the freedom that you don't have in a screenplay."
Take advantage of that freedom in your manuscripts. But also consider what you can learn from the movie world. Open big, increase the drama in each scene, balance action and dialogue and edit ruthlessly. The resulting story will be stronger and provide imagery on par with the visuals modern audiences are used to seeing in movies. Who knows? It may even increase the chances of your book being made into a movie. Now pass the popcorn.

I'm doing a bonus post this week because I really loved t...

I'm doing a bonus post this week because I really loved today's post by my brother, scriptwriter Doug Eboch, on Harnessing Your Fear of Embarrassment. While focused on screenplays, his advice pertains to novels as well. He makes the important point that "good enough" is never really good enough. Here's a quote:

"If you're looking for an agent, think of a writer who you really admire.  Then imagine their agent reading your script. Are they going to be impressed enough to spend time out of their busy day to represent you when they could be focusing on that other great writer? Any agent worth anything has at least a couple of very talented clients.

"I find this is one of the hardest things to impress upon students. You can't just write a script that works.  You have to write something that's better than almost everything out there. You're not just competing against other students or the people in your writers' group. You're competing against the best writers in the business."


Check out the full blog post here.

Self-Publishing Mentorship

Barry Eisler is an author of bestselling thrillers who decided to give up traditional publishing—and a nearly half-million dollar two-book deal—for self-publishing. In this online discussion, he said, "If you think about it, for years publishers have been steadily outsourcing their core business functions. Culling the slush pile went to agents long ago. A lot of editorial devolved to agents, too. Marketing has increasingly become the responsibility of writers, who are expected to blog and be social media demons. I think publishers felt comfortable outsourcing all these functions because they felt the lock they had on their core function—distribution—made their overall position impregnable."The problem is, they've lost that lock, and they've already outsourced so many of their other functions that it's getting hard for them to offer a writer a coherent value proposition. For now, they have enough cash to offer advances, which most authors will need to live for the same reason most people need a mortgage to buy a house. But even that advantage is being eroded by digital, because with digital, you publish right away and start earning right away."But doing it on your own is scary. How do you know if your work is ready? How do you wade through the complicated world of e-publishing and print on demand? How do you even know where to start?Well, now you have the chance to get some guidance, while doing something to help the earthquake victims in Japan:

#Kidlit4Japan Auction #53 from Chris Eboch Auction #53: Self-Publishing Mentorship from Chris Eboch

Description: Are you considering self-publishing your novel? Let a mentor help you through the process,
from determining if your work is really ready for print, to understanding the details of proper layout and hiring a cover artist, to the nitty-gritty of making your book available through e-book services and print on demand. You'll even get tips for marketing the work once it's available. (Please note, this includes advice on what type of editing, proofreading, and other services you might need, but does not include those services.)
Estimated Value: $400
Minimum Bid: $50
Auction Begins: Tuesday 3/29 @ 1:00PM EDT
Auction Ends: Friday 4/1 @ 1:00PM EDT

Follow the link above to place a bid. 

Scene By Scene

Last week I talked about how you can use movies as inspiration to get your novel off to a fast start. Once you set those high expectations, make sure you satisfy them. Consider each scene in your novel. How can you make it bigger, more dramatic?
"Imagine the worst thing that could happen," scriptwriter Don Hewitt says, "and force the issue."
My brother Doug stresses the effectiveness of "set pieces—the big, funny moment in a comedy, the big action scene in an action movie. The 'wow' moments that audiences remember later. Novelists can give readers those scenes they'll remember when they put the book down."
Yet even in big scenes, you must balance action and dialogue. Long action scenes can be dull without dialog or characterization. "When you look at the page, it shouldn't be blocky with action," says Paul Guay, who co-wrote screenplays for Liar, Liar, The Little Rascals and Heartbreakers.
Adds Hewitt: "Try to be as economical as you can with the action, and as precise as you can. Break it up with specific dialogue to strengthen it."
Don't let dialog take over either. Any long conversation where nothing happens is going to be boring. Scriptwriter David Steinberg says, "Movies are about people doing things, not about people talking about doing things." Even in comedies, he says, dialogue must be relevant to the plot. "Dialogue is funny because of the situation, not because it's inherently funny." The same goes for novels, too.
So throughout your novel, make sure you have a mixture of action and dialogue. And make sure both move the story forward. If your character is alone during the scene, you can use his or her thoughts in place of dialogue.
Try thinking cinematically as you sketch out a scene. Imagine your book made into a movie. Will it be a bunch of talking heads, people sitting around in an ordinary setting having a conversation? Try putting your characters someplace interesting instead, and maybe even giving them something to do while they talk. In the original version of Sweet Home Alabama, Doug Eboch set some dialogue scenes in the main character's parents' trailer. But during filming, the scenes were shot at a Civil War re-enactment, which added Southern flavor to the movie. Apply this approach to your novel. "In a novel, you can get away with just people talking," Doug says. "But give people something more interesting to do while talking than just drinking coffee. It makes the scene more alive."

Here's an example from my new middle grade novel, The Eyes of Pharaoh . Reya, a 16-year-old soldier, warned his friends Seshta and Horus that Egypt is in danger from foreign nomads. He promised to tell the more at their next meeting. Seshta has been waiting anxiously:
            At last Seshta reached the dock. Horus sat on the end of it, trailing a fishing line in the water.             Seshta trotted across the wooden boards. "Where's Reya?"            "I'm glad to see you, too. Reya's not here yet."            "Oh." Seshta flopped onto her back and stared at the sky. A hawk soared in lazy circles overhead. Seshta remembered her dream, and her ba fluttered in her chest. She rolled over and stared at the river.            Horus watched his fishing line, seeming content to sit there forever. Downstream, laundrymen sang as they worked at the river's edge. Two men washed clothes in large tubs, their shaved heads glistening and their loincloths drenched. Two others beat clothes clean on stones, and one spread the garments out to dry.             Seshta sighed. "What do you think of his story yesterday? His big secret?"            "Probably just showing off to impress you. But with Reya, you never know."            "Well, we'll find out when he gets here. He's not putting me off today!"            Horus glanced at her and smiled. "No."            "I wish he'd hurry." She slapped out a rhythm on the dock. "This is boring."            "He'll be here when he gets here. You can't change time."            Seshta sighed. Once she knew Reya was safe, she could curse him for distracting her and get back to more important matters. She needed to concentrate on dancing, not waste her time worrying about strange foreigners.            Ra, the sun god, carried his fiery burden toward the western horizon. Horus caught three catfish. A flock of ducks flew away quacking. Dusk settled over the river, dimming shapes and colors until they blurred to gray. The last fishing boats pulled in to the docks, and the fishermen headed home.            But Reya never came.
This is a slow scene by its nature, because they're waiting for something that doesn't happen. But the unusual setting makes it more interesting. Hopefully you can see the scene, and you get a feeling for the characters' different personalities by the way they behave in that situation. We get character, setting, and plot all together.

Prepping for Left Coast Crime

I'll be going to the Left Coast Crime convention for mystery writers and fans over the next few days. I'm speaking on a panel about "Growing New Readers" and giving an individual talk on "What I Learned from Nancy Drew." I'm also hosting a table at the banquet, where I'll give out copies of my new books, Rattled and The Eyes of Pharaoh , to interested readers. I'll ask them to write a review in exchange.
This convention was a big reason I chose to self-publish Rattled. My agent was interested in representing the book and thought we had a good chance of selling it traditionally. I wouldn't have minded a traditional publishing deal, especially for my first book in a new category, romantic suspense for adults.
But it might have taken six months to a year to get a contract, and another year or two before the book came out. I would've missed this great opportunity to attend a convention of mystery lovers in my own backyard. In future years, Left Coast Crime will be in other cities, requiring a much more expensive trip.
Plus, I was getting tired of other people determining the pace of my career.
My agent was supportive when I told him I was considering self-publishing. He understands the opportunities and my desire to take advantage of them. So I edited the book based on his feedback, proofread it, got Lois Bradley to do the cover art, learned everything I could about self-publishing, and now have both print and e-book versions (Kindle and Nook) available. I had to pay express shipping and have the copies of Rattled sent to the conference hotel, but they should be there in time!
From what I've been learning about self-publishing, the most important thing is to get multiple good reviews online, and to make sure your book has appropriate tag words. Once you start this buzz, a good book can take off on its own. That's why am trying to spread the word quickly, and why I'm willing to give away copies to highly interested readers (I figure that anyone who spend several hundred dollars to attend a convention, plus potentially airfare and hotel if they're coming from out of town, is a highly interested reader). "Super readers" are also more likely to be active reviewing books on blogs, listserves, and social networking groups.
I'll report back on the convention—and what the buzz was on self-publishing—next week. If you want to find out more about Left Coast Crime, visit their website.

The Hollywood Touch

I recently did a series on how to use a plot outline to identify weak spots in your manuscript. Now that you know your trouble areas, how do you fix them? For starters, let's go to Hollywood for some advice. I had the chance to interview some scriptwriters for a Writer's Digest article. I'm adapting and expanding on that article for the next couple of weeks. 
Authors dream of having their books made into movies. But even if your story never hits the big screen, you can make your work better by thinking like a scriptwriter. Apply screenwriting tricks to writing your novel and breathe new life into your work.
Let's begin at the beginning and look at one important part of a manuscript, the opening. You know how important this is—editors and agents often say they can judge a manuscript on the first few pages. But don't let the pressure get to you. You can put together an opening that grabs your readers and doesn't let go.
OPEN BIG
I missed the connection between screenplays and novels for a long time. But when a middle grade novel just wasn't connecting with readers, I consulted with my brother, Doug Eboch, who wrote the original screenplay for the film Sweet Home Alabama. After reading my manuscript, he told me, "You need a big opening scene. Think of visuals, color and movement—maybe a big party."
He has a good point: Begin your novel with action, not background, to grab the reader's attention. "Start with something big and memorable," says David Steinberg, who wrote the screenplay for Slackers and co-wrote American Pie 2. "And big isn't as important as memorable. It doesn't have to be a big explosion, but start off with something exciting, different, weird—something that makes the reader want to keep going."
Don Hewitt, who co-wrote the English-language screenplay for the Japanese animated film Spirited Away, agrees. But, he warns, don't just make up any big scene for the sake of drama. "Start with an event that affects the character," he says. Ideally, this event is a moment of change, where the character starts on a new path.
Establishing the protagonist's role in the story is one of the most important functions of an opening, whether in films or novels. Let the reader know the character's goals. "What does he want? What does he really need?" asks Steinberg. "What's his external goal? And what's his internal goal—what's this person's flaw, and how is he going to be a better person by the end?"
In addition, Doug says, "An opening scene should establish the genre. For comedy, I try to make a really funny opening." In one of his screenplays, Quiver, a woman finds Cupid's bow and arrow. "I open with Cupid to establish that it's a comedy with a supernatural element."
If the opening is exciting, funny, sad or scary, the audience expects the entire movie—or book—to be the same. If the opening is boring, the reader assumes the rest is, too. I took my brother's advice. Now my first chapter has exotic scenery, magic, humor and a huge food fight. And I found a way to work important setup information into all that action.
For more on first chapter challenges and getting off to a fast start, click on the link to "beginnings" in the column to the right. Next week we'll look at script writing techniques for the middle of your story. If you'd like more insight into how a Hollywood scriptwriter works, check out my brother's blog, Let's Schmooze.
AdaptationHere are a few more screenwriters' tips you can put to work in your novel.
Planning: Paul Guay spent three months plotting his screen adaptation of the Piers Anthony novel On a Pale Horse before beginning to write. "I plan the entire thing out scene by scene before I write one word of dialogue or description. I know exactly what my beginning is and what my ending is."


Character Development: Don Hewitt says, "It's easy to have things happen to the character. He's passive. But it's always best that the action happens because of a choice." Hewitt tries to base characters on real people. For him, it's easier to know how they would really react and talk in any given situation.Setup: David Steinberg notes that a lot of comedy comes from deception, such as a person pretending to be something he isn't. The longer he has to keep the secret, the more tension he creates. "If you've set up the tension, it should be easy to write," he says. "If you can't come up with anything, it's because you haven't set up the opposing forces."

Thoughts on Self-Publishing

Traditional publishing has always looked down on people who self-publish (unless they are wildly successful, and then the big houses woo them). Because of that bias, people who self-publish often try to hide that fact. They make up a name for their "small press" and pretend it's not just them. They avoid using the term "self-publishing," instead talking about "e-books." (E-books are one format for self-publishing, but not the only one, and obviously not all e-books are self-published.)Self-publishing has a negative connotation, and frankly, it's well-deserved. The vast majority of self-published books were and are bad. Badly written, poorly edited (or simply not edited at all), and clumsily designed. A couple of years back I went to a talk by librarians who had judged The New Mexico Book Awards, which is open to both traditional and self-published books. The librarians talked about why many books didn't make it to the finals. Problems included spelling and grammar errors and using clip art that had nothing to do with the text. These books weren't just not good, they were bad.If that weren't enough, self-published authors got a reputation for being aggressive. They were the ones at book fairs who would grab you and talk about their books until you bought one just to escape.And yet these days the big buzz in the writing world is about self-publishing—often including success stories and predictions for a beautiful future. Now when I bring up the topic, most people are at least curious about the possibilities, whether they are beginning writers or well-published professionals. I'm not exactly an outsider to traditional publishing. I've sold 12 books to publishers. My first novel, The Well of Sacrifice, is still in print after 12 years. But in recent months I've followed discussions about self-publishing and found the possibilities tempting. Joe Konrath, who writes thrillers, is one loud voice in favor of self-publishing. He started with traditional publishing, moved into self-publishing, and has been so successful that he now insists no serious author should accept a contract from a publisher.Other voices are more moderate, and a number offer warnings, such as the often quoted statement that more self-published books will sell fewer than 100 copies than will sell more than 10,000 copies. Still, I've weighed the pros and cons and decided to explore self-publishing myself. I'll have two books out by the end of this month—a middle grade mystery set in ancient Egypt, The Eyes of Pharaoh, and an adult romantic suspense, Rattled. I'll post about the experience here on Wednesdays—challenges and frustrations, surprises and (hopefully) successes. Let me know your questions and I'll try to address them. It's a brave new world, and we can explore it together.

The Great Critique, Plus Self-Publishing in the Future

Let's gear up for The Great Critique. Here's how you play:
To participate, become a follower of the blog, if you aren't already. (If for some reason you find it impossible to "follow" or subscribe to blogs, include a note to that effect with your submission.) Post the opening of your novel, short story or picture book  in the comments -- up to 300 words.Everyone who posts will get a brief critique. That's right, everyone! One out of every 10 submissions will get a more thorough critique. That means the more people who play, the more critiques you'll see. So bring your friends and spread the word! By posting your excerpt here, you agree to a public online critique. (Don't worry, I'll be nice as well as helpful.)Please post only one excerpt per person.
I'll keep gathering submissions through the end of the month and start on critiques over the following month.
In other news, after publishing 12 books with traditional publishers, I'm exploring the brave new world of self-publishing through e-books and print on demand. If you follow publishing news at all, you'll hear lots of hype and almost as much panic about the self-publishing revolution. So I'm adding a new element to this blog: on Wednesdays, I'll cover the elements of self-publishing. I'll discuss why so many people, including professional writers, are turning to self-publishing; when you should -- and shouldn't -- consider self-publishing; the time, money, and skills involved in doing it right; and notes from my own journey, both the successes and failures.
Keep stopping by on Fridays for articles on the craft of writing, but swing by on Wednesdays as well, to learn more about new publishing options.