Ben Aaronovitch's Blog, page 17
April 17, 2015
Day 17: The Place Beyond Gants Hill - Hornchurch
HAVERING
Hornchurch Library6.30 pm24.6 km from Covent Garden
There are some places in the world that we know only through legends - El Dorado, Camelot and Shangri-La. Of these places none was so frequently mentioned but never seen as the Gant's Hill Roundabout.For all the early years of my life I knew it only from the early morning traffic reports. There in fabled Gant's Hill there would always be a tailback, or an accident or, at the very least, the sheer weight of traffic.
Last night I passed for the first time through the mystical portal that is Gant's Hill and found myself in Hornchurch, the fertile land that lies between Rivers Rom and Ingresbourne known to locals as the Country of the Lollipop.
Which explains the sign outside Hornchurch Library.
There I was greeted by the Librarians of Hornchurch who fed me the ceremonial coffee and cake (in fact walnut and coffee cake my favourite) before leading me out to bless the audience.
Another ridiculously friendly crowd.
So I bid a sad farewell to the land between two rivers heading home to sleep for on the morrow I would face my most savage challenge yet - the wilds of Barking and Dagenham!
April 16, 2015
Day 16: Canary Wharf and Enfield Town
TOWER HAMLETS
The Idea Store: Canada Square1.00 pm7.6 km from Covent Garden
I was tempted to walk in and ask to buy something for ACT III but that would have been facetious. After a brief interlude for a snack I was ushered in to meet my small but perfectly formed lunch time audience...
The interesting thing is how infrequently I get the same question - you'd think by now I would have stock answers to stock questions but no - you sods are keeping it fresh.
ENFIELD
Enfield Town Library7.00 pm15.8 km from Covent Garden
Enfield Town Library - a very nice cafe with a rather good Library attached. The cafe does brilliant coffee and made some special Folly cupcakes just for the occasion. There would a photograph ere but I scoffed the lot before I thought of taking a picture.
Enfield is my first cardinal point on the map of London (North) - next comes Hornchurch in Havering (the East)!
The Idea Store: Canada Square1.00 pm7.6 km from Covent Garden
I was tempted to walk in and ask to buy something for ACT III but that would have been facetious. After a brief interlude for a snack I was ushered in to meet my small but perfectly formed lunch time audience...
The interesting thing is how infrequently I get the same question - you'd think by now I would have stock answers to stock questions but no - you sods are keeping it fresh.
ENFIELD
Enfield Town Library7.00 pm15.8 km from Covent Garden
Enfield Town Library - a very nice cafe with a rather good Library attached. The cafe does brilliant coffee and made some special Folly cupcakes just for the occasion. There would a photograph ere but I scoffed the lot before I thought of taking a picture.
Enfield is my first cardinal point on the map of London (North) - next comes Hornchurch in Havering (the East)!
April 15, 2015
Day 15: The Barbican
THE CITY
Barbican Library7.00 pm2.3 km from Covent Garden
Here is the large audience I got (so big I needed to pictures). Given that the library was in the Barbican Centre, a brutalist complex that is needlessly labyrinthine even by 1970s standards, I'm amazed they all made it.
Good questions, nice coffee, friendly librarians - I call that a result.
And next: The Idea Store (where presumably we shall buy some ideas) and then the hidden Kingdom of Enfield!
Barbican Library7.00 pm2.3 km from Covent Garden
Here is the large audience I got (so big I needed to pictures). Given that the library was in the Barbican Centre, a brutalist complex that is needlessly labyrinthine even by 1970s standards, I'm amazed they all made it.
Good questions, nice coffee, friendly librarians - I call that a result.
And next: The Idea Store (where presumably we shall buy some ideas) and then the hidden Kingdom of Enfield!
April 14, 2015
Day 14: Hackney Hijinks
HACKNEY
Hackney Central Library6.15 pm6 km from Covent Garden
After the frenetic show business razzmatazz of Forest Gate it was good to get back to the small intimate village atmosphere of Central Hackney. There I was greeted by select audience drawn from the elite Hackney reading group - you asked lots of questions that I hadn't been asked before.
Also thanks to Lydia and Monica (below) the best coffee I've had so far.
Or I may have written their names down wrong in which case let me know.But the quiet of this village idyll must give way tomorrow to the tangled arcology they call the Barbican Centre!April 13, 2015
Day 13: The Gate in the Forest
NEWHAM
Gate Library6.00 pm11.1 km from Covent Garden
Forest Gate is named after the South Gate of Epping Forest and the library stands hard by the Romford Road which marks the passage of the Roman road from Londonium to Camulodunum (once the capital of Britannia until people came to their senses).Staggering from my taxi (I don't travel that well) I encountered Martine outside the library who wanted to know if I was doing anything that evening. Sadly she was drumming up business for my talk and upon my explanation ushered me inside.
They take their culture seriously in Newham and there were a ton of local councillors there to see the events, not me you understand but the much more entertaining events that had been laid on in support.
One of thee attractions was the Unity Dance Academy (soon to be on Britains Got Talent) but they were stuck in traffic and the audience was getting restless.
I'll get to the audience later - they were an interesting bunch.First into the breach was Mike Hamilton who read an extract from Rivers of London but even he could fill the void created by road works on the A118
Into that void stepped Tamika Cater who performed an impromptu solo and very good she was too.
Obviously Newham is so stuffed with talent that you can jury rig a variety performance in less than ten minutes. There must be something in the water - I should investigate and find out who.
Alas it was enough and I thrust into the limelight to keep everyone entertained for ten minutes.
We are The Audience - entertain us!This was a tricky audience - on the one hand you have the toddlers, cute little bundles of noisy energy, on the other you have the serried ranks of SF fans and gruesome Grannies (I love a good murder I do) that form my normal audience and then there were the teens. Why they were there I never did establish but in conformity with
EU Directive 96/6589EU Maintenance of Intergenerational Stereotypes
they spent much of the time texting, giggling, whispering and taking selfies. They also asked some surprising erudite and pertinent questions which just goes to show that just because they didn't look like they were paying attention didn't mean they weren't paying attention.
Fortunately the dancers arrived and I managed to escape with my dignity intact.
Next: the wilds of Central Hackney!
April 11, 2015
Day 11: Heckled in Twickenham, fated in Wimbledon
RICHMOND UPON THAMES
Twickenham Library2.00 pm15.9 km from Covent Garden
So on the noon of the eleventh day of April I set forth in my trusty black cab to brave the perilous and crowded highways of South West London. Many were the punters heading for the rugby, and rammed the roads were with people off to see the Oxford and Cambridge Boat race. Many and twisting were the ways my trusty driver took to avoid the jams before depositing me safely before the hallowed halls of Twickenham Library.
There I was plied with coffee strong before being turned out to face the multitude that had arrived to see me, Many of whom, it transpired, had no idea who I was at all.
It was here that I was heckled for the first time by a member of the audience. I say heckled but actually it was more like a demand that I explain exactly what it was I was planning to do with the rest of my books. Caught unawares I was tongue tied and she was unimpressed.
Fortunately the rest of the audience seemed much more forgiving and after my terrible trauma I was supplied with crisps by Pen, Gavin, Joss, Jonas and Cheney (see below) until my nerves were steadied and my taxi had arrived.
We're ready to lend books to YOU!
Onwards to Wimbledon!
MERTON
Wimbledon Library6.30 pm11.4 km from Covent Garden
I arrived with a couple of hours to spare to I sated my hunger with a Smoked Krakauer inna bun from this guy...
I was then ushered into the library by Wimbledon's insanely well groomed library team...
Now I actually wrote down everyone's names, at least I think I did, but I can't find the piece of paper so if any of you read this could you put your name in the comments so I can edit the blog.
After a reading from Rivers of London by local actor and playwright Michael Norman-Smith I was turned loose on the audience who were very nice and gentle with me even those that had obviously been dragged in by their better halves.
So that's twelve events done - plenty more to go.
On Sunday I get a day off but on Monday - FOREST GATE!
Twickenham Library2.00 pm15.9 km from Covent Garden
So on the noon of the eleventh day of April I set forth in my trusty black cab to brave the perilous and crowded highways of South West London. Many were the punters heading for the rugby, and rammed the roads were with people off to see the Oxford and Cambridge Boat race. Many and twisting were the ways my trusty driver took to avoid the jams before depositing me safely before the hallowed halls of Twickenham Library.
There I was plied with coffee strong before being turned out to face the multitude that had arrived to see me, Many of whom, it transpired, had no idea who I was at all.It was here that I was heckled for the first time by a member of the audience. I say heckled but actually it was more like a demand that I explain exactly what it was I was planning to do with the rest of my books. Caught unawares I was tongue tied and she was unimpressed.
Fortunately the rest of the audience seemed much more forgiving and after my terrible trauma I was supplied with crisps by Pen, Gavin, Joss, Jonas and Cheney (see below) until my nerves were steadied and my taxi had arrived.
We're ready to lend books to YOU!Onwards to Wimbledon!
MERTON
Wimbledon Library6.30 pm11.4 km from Covent Garden
I arrived with a couple of hours to spare to I sated my hunger with a Smoked Krakauer inna bun from this guy...
I was then ushered into the library by Wimbledon's insanely well groomed library team...
Now I actually wrote down everyone's names, at least I think I did, but I can't find the piece of paper so if any of you read this could you put your name in the comments so I can edit the blog.
After a reading from Rivers of London by local actor and playwright Michael Norman-Smith I was turned loose on the audience who were very nice and gentle with me even those that had obviously been dragged in by their better halves.
So that's twelve events done - plenty more to go.
On Sunday I get a day off but on Monday - FOREST GATE!
April 10, 2015
Day 10: HMP Holloway and Walthamstow
HMP HOLLOWAY
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The Women's Institute Reading Group2.00 pmYou have to leave your phones at the front desk so there are no other pictures of the event which was enormous fun and very interesting. The interior of the prison was very much like my old school only much much cleaner and with much thicker doors.
This being the WI there was coffee and some lovely lemon cake (home made). The audience was about thirty in total and one of the best I've had so far. They were good humoured and asked some fairly difficult questions and didn't hold it against me when I rambled a bit in response. I also learnt some stuff that I ain't going to talk about because it's research gold. Let's just say I'm never going to think about chickens in the same way again.
WALTHAM FOREST
Walthamstow Library6.30 pm10.8 km from Covent Garden
Talk about an event that had everything, a reading by Charles Angiama, puppet making and a puppet show courtesy of the E17 Puppet Project. All organised by Jo, Maddie, Caroline and Abi the grandly named Cultural Programming Team.
The Cultural Programming TeamIt was a big audience and I was a bit high up on a perilously narrow stage but once again the free wine loosened us all up and the questions came thick and fast. I'm fascinated by the range of questions I'm getting on this tour.
Next: Twickenham and Wimbledon!
April 9, 2015
Day 9: The Ballad of Balham Reading Group
WANDSWORTH
Balham Library Hall7:00 pm7.7 km from Covent Garden
As I set of one misty moisty morning.
My novels for to sell.
I met a black cab that had been booked for me.
And the destination I did tell.
The cabbie he did eye me up.
And these the words he said.
If ye're bound for Balham oh.
You best watch where you tread.
For they'll read your books in Balham oh.
From frontispeice to back.
And they'll ask you difficult questions.
And they won't cut you no slack.
Oh they won't cut you no slack my boy
For they're a critical bunch at heart
And if they don't like the answers
They'll tear your plot apart.
So I ventured down to Balham
With a chill right down my spine.
But audience turned out to be rather nice
And we all had a good time.
Certainly the free wine helped.
Tomorrow: HMP Holloway and Walthamstow Library!
Balham Library Hall7:00 pm7.7 km from Covent Garden
As I set of one misty moisty morning.My novels for to sell.
I met a black cab that had been booked for me.
And the destination I did tell.
The cabbie he did eye me up.
And these the words he said.
If ye're bound for Balham oh.
You best watch where you tread.
For they'll read your books in Balham oh.
From frontispeice to back.
And they'll ask you difficult questions.
And they won't cut you no slack.Oh they won't cut you no slack my boy
For they're a critical bunch at heart
And if they don't like the answers
They'll tear your plot apart.
So I ventured down to Balham
With a chill right down my spine.
But audience turned out to be rather nice
And we all had a good time.
Certainly the free wine helped.
Tomorrow: HMP Holloway and Walthamstow Library!
April 8, 2015
Day 8: Surbiton and Brixton
Royal Borough of Kingston
Surbiton Library 2:00pm17 km from Covent Garden
South by Sarf West to the magnificent 1930s redbrick palace of literacy that is Surbiton Library. Staffed b a crack team of ridiculously friendly librarians (see below) I arrived with ten minutes to spare to find an enourmous audience waiting for me. Very gratifying.
Fortified with nothing but coffee and cake I was put to the question for a whole hour before signing some books.
And then onward by taxi to Brixton....
LAMBETH
Brixton Library6:30 pm5.7 km from Covent Garden
Brixton glorious Brixton - not the gateway to anywhere because once you've reached Brixton you never want to go anywhere else.
As soon as I walked in I was ambushed by the media in the form of Vanessa Bafoe from London Live who interviewed me live on air - fortunately I managednot to swear and to promote Cityreads without screaming or making a fool of mysef.
Pronounced BAF-FO - very important that.Then Zoey and Marie threw everyone oout of the Library so we could let the audience in. Not my largest audience but boy did they ask some searching questions - despite the free wine.
They keep putting my audience in....
....a horsehoe shape which makes it hard to get them all in one picture.
Zoey and Andy
Next stop - BALHAM - getway to the South!
Surbiton Library 2:00pm17 km from Covent Garden
South by Sarf West to the magnificent 1930s redbrick palace of literacy that is Surbiton Library. Staffed b a crack team of ridiculously friendly librarians (see below) I arrived with ten minutes to spare to find an enourmous audience waiting for me. Very gratifying.
Fortified with nothing but coffee and cake I was put to the question for a whole hour before signing some books.
And then onward by taxi to Brixton....
LAMBETH
Brixton Library6:30 pm5.7 km from Covent Garden
Brixton glorious Brixton - not the gateway to anywhere because once you've reached Brixton you never want to go anywhere else.
As soon as I walked in I was ambushed by the media in the form of Vanessa Bafoe from London Live who interviewed me live on air - fortunately I managednot to swear and to promote Cityreads without screaming or making a fool of mysef.
Pronounced BAF-FO - very important that.Then Zoey and Marie threw everyone oout of the Library so we could let the audience in. Not my largest audience but boy did they ask some searching questions - despite the free wine. 
They keep putting my audience in....
....a horsehoe shape which makes it hard to get them all in one picture.
Zoey and AndyNext stop - BALHAM - getway to the South!
April 7, 2015
Day 7: Sutton
SUTTON
Sutton Central Library7:00pm
17.4 km from Covent Garden
A very long drive (21 km from my house) to Sutton and the Brutalist Central Library which turned out to be actually very nice and spacious on the inside and the librarians were cheerful and happy to see me(1).
All about the books!There was also a large audience who were thankfully pleased to see me as well. With their help I managed to keep talking for an hour and a bit.
One of the great things about the 33 Borough Tour is that I'm getting to see places I've never been before. Sutton is one of the sources of the Wandle and at one point I was travelling parellel to her course and I sudden;t knew exactly who she was. Expect her to make at least a cameo in a future book.
(1) Probably because I don't owe them any overdue books.
NEXT: Surbiton and Brixton!
Sutton Central Library7:00pm
17.4 km from Covent Garden
A very long drive (21 km from my house) to Sutton and the Brutalist Central Library which turned out to be actually very nice and spacious on the inside and the librarians were cheerful and happy to see me(1).
All about the books!There was also a large audience who were thankfully pleased to see me as well. With their help I managed to keep talking for an hour and a bit.
One of the great things about the 33 Borough Tour is that I'm getting to see places I've never been before. Sutton is one of the sources of the Wandle and at one point I was travelling parellel to her course and I sudden;t knew exactly who she was. Expect her to make at least a cameo in a future book.
(1) Probably because I don't owe them any overdue books.
NEXT: Surbiton and Brixton!
