Mark A. Rayner's Blog: Mark A. Rayner's Goodreads Blog, page 71

Local man wins big after rolling up rim

LONDON, Ontario (The Skwib) — It started like any normal day, but after winning in Tim Horton's "roll up the rim" contest, Neddie Bubbin's life will never be the same. "I just can't believe it," Bubbin told The Skwib, after … Continue reading →

The collapse of the Easter Island civilization, finally explained

I knew there had to be a logical explanation, other than the depressing one provided by Jared Diamond in his book, Collapse. It was a societal Pez addiction. Alltop likes the chalky flavoured Pez. Wait…

Peter Pan: Worst Spaceman Ever

Alltop is the lost boy of humor.

Pirate Therapy and Other Cures

My new collection is now available on Amazon and on Kindle: Ever wondered what might happen if your therapist was replaced by a pirate? Or how disquieting it would be to receive postcards from your future self? If William Shatner … Continue reading →

Ask General Kang: Are there pirates where you come from?

You're lookin' at one, matey. Ye don't become an evil intergalactic overlord by inheritin' the job, ye know. (Actually, Blugnarsh the Bloody did actually take over from his father, Bloodwash the Blue, but he had to fight his way back … Continue reading →

March of the Angry, Fuming, Vengeful Penguins

Suzie loved penguins, ever since her first trip to the zoo. She'd tell her mother every night, "oh I wish I could see a funny, awkward, goofy penguin, again Mummy. I love them SO!" "One day we'll go back to … Continue reading →

Solar storms spur huge aurora borealis

Here's some time-lapse video taken in Norway of the auroras caused by the solar flares. Gorgeous. And here's a pic from of the Aurora Australis … from space! Taken by Dutch astronaut Andre Kuipers on board the International Space Station … Continue reading →

Kurt Vonnegut on the shape of stories

The lecture goes on, but unfortunately the video doesn't; this is too bad, because then Vonnegut describes Kafka's The Metamorphosis: Poor old Gregor Samsa. Not only does he start really low on the GI-axis (good fortune, ill fortune), he turns … Continue reading →

My two favourite David Lean edits

I know, regular readers of The Skwib will be thinking: "what hell? This no funny!" (With the proper grammar, of course.) But with this new look, I'm also branching out with the blog. I'd like it to take in things … Continue reading →

Ad hominem rules for writing

drooling pinheads open their stories with the weather, or a prologue fatuous knobs use the passive voice corpulent prose-pederasts use a verb other than "said" to carry dialog (and only a complete asshole would use an adverb to modify "said") … Continue reading →