Mark A. Rayner's Blog: Mark A. Rayner's Goodreads Blog, page 38

Ask General Kang: Miss Manners says it has to be 97 degrees out before I don’t have to wear nylons. What do you think?

I think you should tell me what that is in Celsius. 35? 36? Never mind, it doesn’t matter, because that Miss Manners is a complete bitch. How DARE she tell you what to do? I’m only offering helpful advice, but … Continue reading →

I want my mummy

Dr. Fleshrender had been trying to learn ancient Egyptian mummification techniques for years, but he’d yet to master even the most basic principles. First of all, he just wasn’t into all that yucky stuff with the internal organs and putting … Continue reading →

Twenty-Eight Tequilas Later

The party got out of hand roughly the same time Professor Lunchbender decided to create the “ultimate” knob robot. Of course, you had to admire any affaire that required the services of the National Guard, even if they were unsuccessful … Continue reading →

How social media has changed the news conference

This moment of snark brought to you by the incomprable XKCD. Alltop wonders if Google+ has a role to play.

Bibendum’s Career Woes

When Michelin let him go, Bibendum thought he would be fine. That lazy brother of his, Bonhomme, had been pestering him to take over his duties at the Quebec Winter Carnival for years, and the gig paid well. (Though Bibendum … Continue reading →

How Man of Steel should have ended

I love these alternate (more logical) endings. This one presupposes that Superman is actually pretty smart. (Which, I’m not saying he isn’t, by the way. But we all know Batman is the smart one.) Alltop loves a good black hole … Continue reading →

The Legend of Pokadot Joe

In the years before the Great Waffle, the common people had a champion. Whenever injustice reared its linear head, Pokadot Joe was there to thump it with his curly-cue cudgel of curvy vengeance. Mounted on his mighty steed, Dosage Twelve, … Continue reading →[image error]

Easter Wandfest: The Sisters of Perpetual Chastity and Wandplay

Discipline was never an issue at St. Xavier’s School for Wayward Boys and Cane Toads, as it was run by the Eurethran Order of Nuns — known to the world as the Sisters of Perpetual Chastity and Wandplay. Despite the … Continue reading →

Helping the constabulary with their inquiries

At first he fought he was nicked, didn’he? He fought, “‘allo, what’s ol’ bill comin’ round me jam jar for?” Then he learned, didn’he? Ol’ Bill knew all about that Docta’ Smif fellow, right? ‘Ow ‘e were always ‘angin’ around … Continue reading →

J. K. Rowling — NOT the author of The Fridgularity

I’m not sure how these rumors get started, but just to be clear: the famous, best-selling author J. K. Rowling (best known for her Harry Potter books) is not the author of The Amadeus Net, Marvellous Hairy, or The Fridgularity. … Continue reading →