Mark A. Rayner's Blog: Mark A. Rayner's Goodreads Blog, page 19

Sex with Sue

“Hi there Jeremy, you’re on the air.” “Hi Sue. Long-time listener, first-time caller. I’m a big fan.” “Thanks Jeremy, what did you want to talk about?” “What if she’s not into your face?” “In what way? Kissing?” “No, like sitting on it in a way that she delivers up her everlasting soul to the Old […]

Anxious Queue

At the Skywalker Ranch, there was always a long lineup for the Princess Leia Ride, even when Stacy and her “Umbrella of Truth” was working it. Alltop would never tell a lie. Cloud City Garrison – The Portrait Sessions, originally uploaded by LukeOlsen.

Spot the Newton!

Hello and welcome to today’s edition of Spot the Newton, where you pick out the UNtrue facts about Sir Isaac Newton: was unquestioningly one of the most important scientists ever died a virgin had a passion for alchemy above all else once poked a needle in his eye to test an optical theory used his […]

Interview in Western News

My authorial compadre at the Faculty of Information and Media Studies, Kane Faucher, did a great job of interviewing me a while back, and it appeared in print today. Seriously. on PAPER, so you know it’s legit! You can read: “Finding humour in a changing landscape” here. Western News is the campus paper “of record” […]

Ask General Kang: My tinfoil hat isn’t keeping out the voices — what do I do?

The first thing to remember, in the immortal words of Douglas Adams, is: “Don’t Panic!” Hearing voices is a common occurrence for über-chimps who are just starting to come out of the psionic latency period. What is happening is you are hearing the thoughts of other apes around you, but your mind is not capable […]

Tundra Reports: Tim Horton’s Honeys

By Dr. Maximilian Tundra Does anyone else find it mildly disturbing to be addressed as “dear”, “hon,” or “darling” by someone who is at least 10 years younger than you? I have noticed over the past few years that Tim Horton’s has been hiring more young servers, and they have strangely taken on some of […]

Are you a famous writer yet?

This flowchart may help you answer this “important” question: Alltop is a famous humor aggregator. Flowchart by electric literature

The clowns die first

Something you probably didn’t know about the technological singularity: all the clowns die first. Alltop will have to choose a side when the time comes. Painting by Mike Wellins. Interesting stuff: he takes old landscapes and stuff and then adds SF tropes to them. More here. h/t

Doug the neurotic invents a corollary on his daily commute

Okay, I’ll admit it. I’m freaking out. I ate at Wendy’s last night, and then I’m reading the paper today — yeah, like I do everyday on the bus — and so I’m reading the paper, and what do I see? Bird Flu! There was another breakout of bird flu in a freakin’ chicken farm […]

Reservoir Clowns

I’m sure Quentin Tarantino isn’t thinking of a remake, but if he did this, it would be TERRIFYING. Alltop is the Harlequin of humor aggregators. Photo by drewlevy