T.L. Gray's Blog, page 17

Sleight by Sloane Kady

I promised this review a few weeks ago, but life got in the way and I’m late.  I apologize to author Sloane Kady for my lateness. I made a promise, so here I am.  Please visit Ms. Kady’s website here.
It’s actually hard for me to review this novel.  The first paragraph grabbed hold of me and I actually got a little scared to read any further. 
“I’m the daughter of two defective people.  They came off the factory line dented and chipped.  If you could pick them up and look underneath them, you’d see that they’re just hollow molds, meant to look like real parents, even sounding like them sometimes, but you know you can’t keep them because those chips left sharp edges that will make you bleed, and they’re not real, anyway.  No one wants a cheap knockoff.”
It was too real for me.  Too familiar.  Too raw.  Not from anything that’s happened recently, but with things I’ve put behind me many years ago.  I could feel the pain this author poured into this work, because I recognize it.  I haven’t read anything else by Kady, nor have I met her personally, but I do interact with her at times on Facebook because many of her posts speak to my soul.  Her writing does the same.  I’ve grown a great fondness for Ms. Kady.
Sleight is raw and not for the tender-hearted, yet tender-hearted is exactly what Bryce is beneath the tough, cold exterior.  She’s full of pain, full of loss, full of confusion and all of it together has her stuck… stuck in the pain of a past she can’t forget, stuck in the confusion of a present she doesn’t know how to handle, and stuck in the fear of not knowing which future to choose.  The anger she’s held onto for so long because of the things she once knew, is tossed into chaos as she struggles to re-identify herself as her father struggles to hold onto to his own identity among the identity-stealing grasp of Alzheimer’s.
“The woman looking back at me in my oval bathroom mirror is a stranger to me.  I can see in her eyes that she doesn’t know me, either.  I watch her, trying to familiarize myself with her shocking appearance.  Inside, I’m still casual girl, with my torn skinny jeans and black turtleneck sweater.  The woman in the mirror would pass me on the street and at best glare at me from the corner of her eye in contempt of having to share the sidewalk with me.”
When do we form that inner soul? Mine is still a scared little girl acting tough in a violent world. Even now, she is the voice that moves me forward, reminds me of what I’ve already overcome, and compels me forward.  It’s paragraphs like this that resonate with me, and why this author has a fan for life.
What I saw in this novel is the beauty and ugliness, but most of all the reality, of love.  The chaos of pain.  The consequence of pride. The scars of hate, prejudice, and ignorance. Oh, if we could only get out of our own way sometimes.
As an editor, I found the writing fluid, like it was poured directly from the heart.  The pacing was consistent, slow in the moments of reflection, and then fast in the heat of emotion.  The language was raw and real, which gave an authenticity to the character’s voice. 
I don’t recommend this book for those easily offended or those blind in their preconceived boxes.  It’s a must-read for those with minds wide open, who’ve experienced some shit in their lives, or those who aren’t afraid to face some raw truth and emotion. 
Good job, Ms. Kady.  I look forward to reading more of your work.
Till next time,
~T.L. Gray
Published Author
Georgia Author of the Year Nominee
Editor at North Star Literary Agency

I Give It My Whole Heart... Now

I sometimes wonder how I make it through the day.  I don’t wonder as I’m going through the day, but in those quiet moments of reflection usually at the end of one or in the early mornings of a new one.  I try not to look too far ahead, because while some of those thoughts bring me great anticipation and excitement, others bring me moments of panic, worry and overwhelming anxiety.  I’ve been through too much to not fear the struggles that may lay ahead, because of the struggles I’ve already waded through, but I’ve also experienced some great adventures and anticipate with wonder.  The joy, the peace, or the real struggle is to try to stay as much in the present moment as possible.  This moment is more manageable. It is this moment where your decisions matter most. It’s in these moments that keep you on track of your goals and aspirations, or provide the detours that sends you on a different path.  At least that’s what I tell myself.
What’s in my present moment? What’s going on in my life and what can I do about it?
I’m currently working on a health & fitness program that includes a great workout regimen, a light diet plan, and building a lifestyle of active adventure.  So far, so good.  It’s a decision I have to make on a daily and weekly basis.  I can’t think or plan too far ahead, nor can I dwell on the past successes or mistakes.  I know what works for me, for my body, and for my mind.  My past success and failures help me make my current choices and also leads as a guide in my near-future decisions.  I give it my whole heart… now.
I’m currently in a romantic relationship that constantly makes me smile, makes me excited to get up in the morning, makes me feel at peace for my present, makes me feel loved, wanted and desired as I love, want and desire my man.  I don’t dwell on the relationships of the past. While those relationships sometimes pop up to remind me of both good and bad times, I don’t allow the memories to stay very long.  I also don’t try to plan and anticipate too far in the future.  Anticipation is the root to most of our disappointment. I’ve learned I can guarantee nothing. How can I make a promise that I have no power to actually fulfill? It doesn’t mean I don’t have a desire to see a life full of great moments, great love, and even greater adventure, because I do.  It’s one of my biggest hopes. However, I don’t PLAN it. I just appreciate what I have in this current block of time.  I reflect on how I feel and how the relationship affects me now.  I give it my whole heart… now.
I’m currently surrounded by a few great friends, and have recently made a few new friends.  I’m seeing the beauty of the human heart through some of the people that has come into my life the last few years.  For so long I saw the ugliness, judgement, and depravity of humanity, and many times my heart hurt and my mind fought to have hope.  There are beautiful, selfless, caring people in the world. I’ve had the pleasure to meet a few of them.  While I miss some of the friendships in the past, I’m learning to appreciate the friends in my present and open my heart to new friends.  I give it my whole heart… now.
 I’m writing again.  I have so many manuscripts I could work on, but I’m taking it one day at a time.  If I think of all that needs to be done, all that I’ve left behind, all that I’ve let slip away, or all that I want to do, then I will get too overwhelmed and run back into hiding. I don’t have the luxury to write full-time at this time in my life, and have to make time in my daily schedule for what I could do now.  It has to be a priority.  I have a wonderful job that I really enjoy that allows me to take care of my basic necessities, supports my independence.  It’s a job that ends at a certain time of day so that I am free to pursue those other goals in my life in the other 16 hours. I give it my whole heart… now.
So between my goals of health, fitness and living an adventurous lifestyle, enjoying a beautiful romance, surrounded by awesome friends, working at a good job, and fulfilling a great dream, my day is pretty full.  I don’t have the energy or the time to waste dwelling on a past I can’t change or worrying about a future I can’t control.  Today… I’m happy, I’m living in the moment, I’m in love, I am loved, and I’m excited. I give it my whole heart… now.
Till next time,
Princess of the Present

Good Morning, My Love

Shhhh, Baby, don’t open those dark, commanding eyes of yours.  I couldn’t take their penetrating gaze at this moment.  I’m too weak, too much under your power, too lost in admiration and worship of you. My breath has caught deep in my lungs, and I’m so overwhelmed at the moment, and can’t breathe.  Please, please don’t take this moment from me. I’m captured. I’m mesmerized. I’m shaking.
Keep your eyes closed, Baby, please. You just don’t understand. The Moon Goddess has captured you in her silvery gaze and opened my own eyes to the wonder and beauty of you.  Her powerful and majestic light spills through the open window and caresses you ever so gently, light a million light fairies dancing on her beams as they pour down onto your body.  Do you know how beautiful you are to me? I could watch you forever.
Don’t move.  Sleep, Baby, let the cloak of Night cover you, let her continue to hold you securely for a little longer in her arms.  Your breathing calms me because it is so peaceful. My eyes water as I watch my warrior slumber. Rest, Baby, beneath Night’s sanctuary.  Let her hold your sword and your armor for just for a little while longer as she sends rejuvenation and strength into you. Do you know how safe you make me feel?  How much strength you give me? How much courage you pour into me to face this brutal world?  
Can you feel my warmth? Do you feel the heat of my whisper upon the shell of your ear?Can you feel the tender touch of my fingernail as I trace the outline of your handsome, strong, chiseled face beneath the silver radiance of the moon?  If you could see how she illuminates you, cloaking parts of you in mysterious shadow and outlining your smooth curves and sharp edges with her silvery beams.  The dark lines of your tattoos are light scriptures written on the temple walls, telling of the love and warnings of the wrath that dwells inside.
Do you have any idea what it feels like to touch you? To have you touch me? It’s magnetic.  I’m drawn to you, connected, electrified. You make me want to do things I’ve never imagined.  You make me feel so alive, so aware, a part of something more, something bigger, and something so good I can’t contain it. I once had defined lines, clear edges, a mask behind which I could hide.  You’ve blurred the lines.  I don’t know where I start and where I end, like I’ve shed the skin of this body and am a part of everything, yet nothing at the same time.  When you look at me, I melt beneath your gaze.  I get lost in your dark eyes, Baby, so keep them closed right now.  You’ve yanked my mask away and there’s nowhere to hide. I’m naked and bare before you.  The Moon Goddess has illuminated your glory this night.  Don’t move, Baby. Don’t wake. Let me worship you just a little longer.
My warm breath slowly escapes my lips, Baby, thinking of your kisses.  I can’t get enough of them.  They pull me, like a hook in the center of my belly, it yanks at me, hard. Can you feel me lightly kiss you? I love the taste of you, the scent of you, the feel of you.  I want to kiss you all the time, softly and hard, forever and ever. They make me feel so loved, so wanted, so desired.  I lose all control beneath them. Their touch on my skin burns right through me.  Kiss me, Baby, and don’t ever stop.
I’m shaking, Baby.  The Morning and Sun gods are demanding their time, and the Moon Goddess and Night must continue on their destined journeys.  Your eyes will open soon and this moment will pass.  You will once again put on your armor and pick up your sword and fight the battles that Day brings.  He’s a ruthless god, but I’m thankful I had this beautiful, magical moment.  It has filled me to full, and makes me feel like I’m dangerous, brave, cloaked in your armor, safe behind your sword, protected beneath your cloak, and I smile. Open your eyes now, Baby.
Good morning, my love. 

Who Is to Blame?

Who is to blame? As Lady Justice stands in the shadows and the rabid beasts scour the land in search of flesh to tear and carcasses to consume, we stand at our windows and wonder, "Who's to blame?"

Our fingers of accusation twitch. Our righteous indignation swells. Our need to deflect, reject and object consumes us. But, who is to blame?

Is it her, him, them or they? Let's point our bony, chubby, dirty and manicured mandible at all those around... One by one by one.

It's All About the Little Things

We’ve all heard the phrase, “The devil is in the details.”  That often puts a negative spin and mindset on the little things, the fine print, the details, the unseen parts.  While it is where disclaimers, restrictions, and exclusions are often listed, it’s also the where the frame work resides.  Ever tried to build something without framework?  There’s no support, no boundaries, no definition and without the stability of a good foundation or framework, what we build crumbles, falls, implodes, withers, evaporates, and comes apart.
Building a good foundation or setting a good framework is the hardest part when we’re building something.  It’s the boring part. It’s the inner workings no one can see in our masterpieces.  Most people only see the outward appearance, the art, the display, the picture.  But how many see the frame, the canvas, the inner workings, or the lode-bearing supports?  Only another designer, architect, artist or builder recognizes how it’s all about the little things.
You can tell a lot about a person by how they handle the little, ordinary things in life.  Are you the type of person that does the least to maintain, or do you take your time and make sure that whatever you’re doing is done to the best of your ability?  Do you do your best only on the things you love, or do you work with a spirit of excellence in all things?  Pay attention, take an assessment and truly evaluate your work.  When you wash the dishes, do you really take your time to make sure that not only are the dishes clean, but so is the stove, the counter, the spot behind the faucet, or the space beneath the coffee pot?  While we might not think such trivial thing make a difference, they really do.  It tells a lot about the type of person you are.  It tells more about how you feel about yourself more than anything.  When it’s just you and nobody else sees your effort, and you STILL give it your best shot, that’s your true framework.
I notice the little things. I look for them. I see you, the real you, the you that you are when you think no one is looking.  We are so judged in this world by our masks, our outward appearances, our metrics, our test results, our accomplishments, our awards, our trophies, our titles, our income, our possessions, our associations, our belts.  I see YOU.  It’s all about the little things. 
Till Next Time,
~The Magnifying Glass

I'm Free

It's easy to think we would know what we would do, or not do, in any given situation. We think we know what choices we would make, or not make, at any given time. I'm learning that's not always true.

I'm usually weakest in what I think I would be strong, and often strong when I fear I'll be weak. I have an opinion about everything, but know I'm not always right.

Lately I've had some really in-depth discussions with my boyfriend that have had me reconsidering some core beliefs and thus exposed some latent prejudices. I know I've uttered several times, in parts, the phrase, "I know enough to know I don't know everything, and just enough to know I know nothing. The more I learn, the more I realize how much I don't know."  Yet, what I do know is both horrible and beautiful.

Regardless of what I know or come to understand, I am who I am, and who I am is as honest as I can be... Not just with the world, but with myself.

I'm a mess, but I'm a beautiful mess. I've been through pain, still have pain and broken beyond recognition, but I'm still here.

I'm lost, but I'm still moving. I may not know where I'm going, but I'm going somewhere. I'm free. Free from the boxes, free from the guilt, free from the lines that define our paths. I'm free to wander, to explore, to seek, to discover, to experience on an undefined path, an unpaved road, an unmarked trail. Will there be dangers? Will there be struggles? Will there be uncertainties? Will there be mistakes? Yes, yes, yes, and yes. But the risk is worth the adventure.

Someday my adventure will end, but it will end without regret, without sorrow of having never taken the risk. I've walked the straight and narrow and became a zombie among the vampires. I've lived for duty, bore the armor of responsibility, tried to lead by being an example, and it killed me. I denied myself, picked up my cross, and cut my flesh. In trying to save the world, I suffocated. I still haven't fully learned to breathe.

I am free. I am happy. My daily struggle has not ended. My wishes have not come true. My dreams still have yet to be fulfilled. I have no idea what will happen today, much less tomorrow, and I don't know the answers to the universe's questions. I just know I'm free... Free to be me just like I am. Free to love. Free to be... Anything, do anything, feel anything, to fly, or do nothing. It's my choice.

Till next time,
Beautiful Butterfly

Livin' Out Loud - Liar

Our biggest obstacle when it comes to health, fitness, and even love, is our propensity to make excuses. We have them. We have plenty of them. Our mindset is where the largest part of our battle resides.We lie to ourselves. We tell ourselves we need or deserve the destructive behavior we commit. We tell ourselves it’s okay to abuse our bodies, our hearts and our minds, after all it’s our period and we deserve that damn chocolate. We’ve been good and deserve to cheat on our diet. We did a lot more activity today than normal so we can skip our workout. We'll start tomorrow, and on and on. The excuses never stop.Until we recognize we are out biggest abuser, see us for who we really are, we won’t win, we won’t succeed, we won’t break free. It’s nobody’s fault we are like we are. It’s not our past, not our genetics, it’s not our environment, it’s not the food industry, it’s not our religion, it’s not our disease, it’s not our drugs, it’s not ANYTHING but our own choices. We are exactly where we want to be, allow ourselves to be, choose to be, or choose not to change.Only we can choose to put down the doughnuts, pick up the jump rope, and continue to make that choice everyday.We don’t need to have a lot of money, personal trainer, expensive food, diet drugs, or the right workout clothes or equipment. Before we pick up or use any of these tools we have to first strip ourselves of our excuses, stand in front of our mirrors naked, look at ourselves in the eye, and truly see ourselves for who we truly are, not the lie we tell ourselves.We are not victims. We are the abusers of our own self. We are the ones that gorge on the whole box of snack cakes, doughnuts, bag of chips, soft drinks, chicken nuggets, ice cream, and chocolate. We can take all the diet pills we want, drink all the diet drinks we want, eat off the little plates filled with seconds and thirds, but it doesn’t change that we neglect what we need, feed our feelings, and cheat ourselves out of living our lives to our best potential. We see ourselves as victims - and victims are slaves. We are slaves to our addictions. We are slaves to our excuses. We are slaves to our abuses. We are taskmasters to our own depravity.We are the asshole that stops ourselves. Until we acknowledge our truth and see our truth, we can never change it. We're killing ourselves. We are an abuser, a neglector, and a selfish bitch. Stop lying to our selves. Have the courage to face our own truth and learn to live.Then… naked, bare, exposed, and determined… change our story, change our stars, change our life.Till next time,Freed Slave, Survivor

When I Look in the Mirror

When I look in the mirror I see my mother, I see her features in my face, I see her hands in my hands, I see her cheeks in my cheeks, I see her body shape in my own. My memories remember her pain, her sickness, her abuse, her addictions, her excuses. So, in the mirror I also see the life she could of had. I think that's why I push so hard to be strong, because she was so weak. Why the very thought of doing drugs or popping pills makes me sick, how I'm independent and refuse to allow anyone to abuse me, to use me, to make me feel helpless and trapped. This is my only way to save a piece of her, by saving myself. When I look in the mirror I see my mother... Free, happy, healthy, and I'm sure inside, beneath the victim, beneath the MS, beneath the pills she'd be happy to see me be all the things she couldn't. I may not be able to see her, or have a relationship with her, but I'll always love her. (Damn, this was hard.)

Livin' Out Loud - Active Living

Well, I’m back again to talk a little bit more about Livin’ Out Loud.  This isn’t an idea of something I want to do, but something I’ve been doing since my divorce a few years ago.  This was something my soul cried out needing for a very long time.  I tried to get what I needed from everyone around me, my ex-husband, my kids, my church, my job, but I couldn’t find what I was seeking in them or through them.  What I needed, what my soul needed, what my heart needed was already inside me, but I realized I was too afraid to listen to her, or to even give her a glancing thought.  She was too painful to even acknowledge. 
Memorial day is coming up tomorrow.  I’ve been having a little bit of a hard time this weekend and found myself trying to reach out to others in order to soothe that pain. I thought after 23 years I’d finally be able to breathe during this time without that pain, but the pain is still there, yet it’s not all for James, the hero that gave his life in Somalia.  It’s for the hero that was left here at home, the fighter inside me, the survivor with her many scars.   I loved James, still love him, will always love him, but he’s not really the one I’m grieving.  I miss him, will always miss him, will always wonder of the life we might’ve had together, but I think what still hurts most is the life that I hid inside me for so long.  People grieve in different ways. I shut down. I hid inside myself, got lost for a couple decades, and while I was living, going through the motions, I wasn’t alive.  I cared deeply for everyone else around me, but not myself.  When I learned the scripture to “deny yourself and pick up your cross…”, well… I did just that.  I denied myself until I could deny myself no longer.
So, here I am after I completely disrupted my life, turned it upside down, made some bold moves, and faced my biggest fear – that lost, hurt, angry little girl inside who has carried my pain for too long.  I was so afraid of her, but now I look upon her and instead of seeing a depraved, dirty, lonely, scared shell… I see a beautiful, radiant angel, whose light is so bright my heart simply can’t even begin to express how much I love her. Without hesitation, she forgave me for being a coward for so long, and since I faced her I have been living out loud.  Yes, I’ve had some huge obstacles in my way, a few heart breaks, a few failures, one giant battle with death, but I wouldn’t trade any of them for anything.  That woman inside (she’s no longer a frail girl) is strong enough, tough enough, and brave enough to handle this world.  As long as I cling to her, I know we will survive.  That’s what we are, we are survivors.
Part of this living out loud is active living, which by definition means to actively be engaged in your life, in every area of your life – emotionally, physically, and spiritually.  It doesn’t mean you’re doing fantastic feats every day, it just simply means that every day you’re living in the moment, living in the day, and living to the best of your ability as you face your daily challenges.  Life is full of challenges.  It is full of temptations.  It is full of excuses.  We can find one for everything. We can make one for every fear we have.  But that isn’t fair to ourselves.  Living out loud and loving yourself means that you face your challenges.  You might not win them every day, but winning isn’t the marker of success or failure.  It’s the effort, the intent, the devotion, and dedication applied to facing those challenges that make us a success or failure, that determines if we truly are living out loud.
I’ve been working on trying to repair the damage I’ve done to my body during my years of depression and regression.  It’s hard. I wasn’t born with the genes that make it easy. Every day is a choice, a battle, and it requires a strong will, a determined mind, and a heart dedicated to seeing myself succeed.  I am tempted. I am afraid sometimes. I am weak at other times.  But, the more I love myself, the more determined I become.  The more success I taste, the more I want to taste.  The more dedicated I become, the more dedication I desire.  I’m not ruled by my desires anymore. I rule my desires.
Yes, it’s hard to get up at 5am every morning and get started.  It’s hard to say no to the foods that make my mouth water. It’s hard to not just cling to someone else’s strength so I don’t have to use my own. I know I’m never going to look like a supermodel, or one of those beautiful, slim, toned women on the front of fitness or fashion magazines, and I don’t try to look like them.  I don’t want to be them. I want to be a version of me that is healthy, that is active, that is strong, that is vibrant and who can do the things my heart wants to do and not be denied because I don’t have the physical or mental strength to accomplish them. I hate being denied.  So, yes… many mornings I want to cry and my mind makes a thousand excuses to roll over and go back to sleep, but that beautiful angel inside me, my own personal cheerleader, she nudges me and whispers to my soul, “I love you and you deserve to live out loud. Do it for us.”  That’s all it takes and I jump up, get dressed in my workout clothes, and take off. It’s what helps me deny that doughnut, or not gorge on that pot of beans, or feed my insecurities with foods that harm me.  I was slowly killing myself for years, and became a master of excuses to continue doing it. I was wrong.
Bottom line.  The secret to living out loud and actively living is loving yourself.  I love me. I don’t need anyone else to love me.  But when someone does choose to love me they receive one of the greatest gifts, a precious treasure, even if they don’t realize it.  They receive a pure love, a dedicated love, a devoted love, a determined love, a faithful love, a grateful love, a love that doesn’t take from them, but pours into them.  We are a lost and lonely world. I see it, I feel it, I recognize it in the many faces I see every day.  The majority seek to feel the emptiness inside through various outside sources – money, accomplishment, sex, drugs, food, shopping, music, extreme activities, pills, addictions, obsessions, competition, acceptance, religion, political causes, martyrdom, violence, … we’re all trying to save or destroy the world.  The only person we need to save is ourselves.  The person we often destroy is also ourselves. If we embrace who we truly are, loving the world becomes easy and living becomes an everyday part of life. Going to the laundry mat becomes an adventure, because all life is an adventure.
So, get up.  Get going. Set those goals. Put down the fucking doughnuts. Meet those challenges face to face. Start breathing. Start living. But don’t do it for any other reason than for yourself.  Don’t do it to fall in love with someone else. Fall in love with yourself and others will fall in love with you too.  Don’t do it to look good for someone else’s approval. Do it so that you feel beautiful and sexy for yourself, and then others will see you as beautiful and sexy.  Don’t do it to fit in and be like everyone else in order to feel accepted.  Embrace who you truly are, love all your nerdy, quirky, odd, crazy, and wild parts and let the rest of the world see you for who you truly are, not who you pretend. If they don’t see you or can’t see you, fuck ‘em. You don’t need them. Don’t be afraid to face the world alone, because if you can’t face the world alone, you’ll crumble under pressure trying to face it for someone else.  That’s not fair to you or to them. Don’t be afraid to walk alone, be afraid to not walk at all.  Walk. Go. Run. If anyone truly loves you for you, and can see you’re actively living out loud, they will want to walk with you.  But if they’re cowards and haven’t found their own strength, you can’t carry them. Keep walking. 
In a moment of despair, when I felt like the world’s worst failure, God whispered to my heart, “It’s not your job to save the world, it’s mine. Let go and let me love you. I made you to fly, so fly, Baby Girl, fly. Live, My Love, live, and live out loud. I gave you a voice so sing, sing of love, sing of life, sing of all I’ve poured into you and all that you are.”  That, my friends, is what I say to you all. 
Till next time,
~Song of T

My Livin’ Out Loud Formula - Healthy Eating

Many of you have followed me for years and have witnessed my journey into health and fitness.  Some of you are just cyberly meeting me for the first time. For those of you who don’t know me, you don’t know that I’m not the same person I was a few years ago… I’m a new person in body, mind, soul and spirit.  I’ve entered a new phase in my life, one that was a very hard change, a dramatic change, but a good change.  There have been a lot of mountains I’ve had to climb, and along the way so far I’ve done some very amazing things at I’ve crested some of those mountains, and have also found myself tumbled, tossed, and on my face at the bottom of others. But in all of them, I’ve been livin’ out loud as evidenced here on this blog; my high points and my low ones.
This morning I’m going to focus on health and fitness.  I’ve spent a lot of blogs on spiritual and emotional issues.  Health and fitness is very much spiritual and emotional, but I want to focus on the physical aspect today.  I’ve once again brought my focus back to my health.  I haven’t been ignoring my weight goals, I’ve just had the majority of my focus in other areas that needed more attention.  But, it’s that time again to bring back balance to my health and fitness aspect of this loud life. 
Balance is key to everything. I mean everything.  But today I’m going to focus on balance in diet and exercise.  I really hate the word diet, because I really don’t diet.  I have an eating lifestyle that works for my body.  I will admit I haven’t been faithful to my eating lifestyle because of many factors over the past 8-9 months because I’ve moved to another state, moved in with my best friend, and the many changes have just got me off schedule.  Yet, I’m getting back on schedule and slamming those ‘easy’ temptations out of my way.  It’s not about saying ‘no’ to the bad things, the foods that don’t work for your body, but about making sure your ‘yes’ are readily available so that your choice isn’t ‘no’ with no alternative. You should never forgo eating, exercising, or being active without a choice to make or else that’s just depravation and depravation leads to binge eating, failing at establishing a routine because you don’t see any physical results, and discouragement.  ALWAYS have a choice to make.  If you have fresh fruit readily available, it’s easier to forgo the donuts, especially when you remind yourself of the hard work you’ve done that week.  But, it’s almost impossible to forgo the donut if that’s the only thing quickly available. 
90% of the battle to eat healthy and be active is a mind game.  10% is determination.
Here are few tips to help you make those healthy decisions:
Ø  Use small dishes.  Get rid of your big bowls, big plates, big glasses.  Use salad plates as dinner plates, use small glasses (unless you’re drinking water – then it’s best to use a water bottle), and cook with small pots and pans.  You will be amazed at how much you will feel full when your small plate is full, yet in the RIGHT portion.  Portion is key.  Portion is balance.  90% of our bad eating habits isn’t always about WHAT we eat, but how much we eat.  If you can teach yourself how to eat the right portion, you can pretty much eat anything you want, because you won’t be overeating.
Ø  If you eat out, before you get your meal go ahead and ask for a ‘to go’ box and when your meal is served, go ahead and box up half or ¾ of the meal, and spread out the rest and then relax and enjoy what’s left on your plate.  Many times we keep eating what’s in front of us after we’ve reached that ‘full’ sensation in our bodies because it’s there and our minds are conditioned to clean our plates.  This leads to overeating and becoming unbalanced.  But if you do this simple step, you won’t have to ‘diet’ eating out, you just do it smart.
Ø  Select foods that work with your body.  Some of us are blessed with high metabolisms and can be more free with what we eat, while others have to be very selective because of slow metabolisms and be more selective.  Smart eating, knowing your body… truly knowing your body – not lying to yourself, will lead to more success in your journey to health and fitness.  Discover which foods help you, energize you, inspire you and work FOR you.  Learn to listen to your body and it’ll tell you want it needs – iron, protein, vitamins and energy.
Well, that’s all I have for you today.  I’ll try to touch base on some of the exercise tips next.  Just remember this if you take anything from this post today.  Your body is yours.  Don’t try to change your body to make anyone else happy, the world happy, or in order to feel beautiful.  Love yourself enough to want you to be the best you… for you.  Be the best, healthiest, most active, and happiest you… for YOU.  You are worth it.  It’s not about what size you are, how much you weigh, or how you look in a bikini.  Being healthy and happy is about lighting this inner radiance that can’t help but shine through you.  It’s about your essence, your Chi, and when this is in balance, beauty resonates within you and from you. 
Till next time,
Balanced Beauty