Lisa Worrall's Blog, page 17
December 20, 2013
MONTY'S TRICK OR TREAT - AVAILABLE NOW - FREE DOWNLOAD!
I know it's late, I know I'm rubbish and real life got in the way, but that's no excuse so... one of my Christmas presents to you is Marshall's Park #8, Monty's Trick or Treat. You can download it FREE at ARe HERE... Marshall's Park #9 will follow in the next few days... also free!BLURB:
Everyone has been the victim of Chris' pranks in the run-up to Halloween, and he doesn't appear to be in a hurry to stop. Despite almost getting one of the park's employees fired.
Finn decides Chris needs to be taught a lesson and what better way than to give him a taste of his own medicine? With a little help from his friends, he sets about organizing the prank to end all pranks - on an epic scale - using Chris' biggest fear against him!
EXCERPT:
PROLOGUE
Finn danced around on stage, hopping from one foot to the other and shaking his ass like a meerkat possessed. The kids laughed loudly and screamed at the top of their voices at his antics. Finn grimaced as he shimmied again. He wondered how hilarious they'd find it if they knew the reason for his over exuberance was the fact that he felt as though he had a million fire ants crawling over his skin—and it didn't take a genius to figure out why!
There were still two days left before Halloween and Chris had started his annual spate of pranks three days ago. Finn and the rest of the park had had just about enough. It had started with small stuff—classics if you will. Such as cling film on the toilet in the locker room. One leg of Finn's pants sewn up so he couldn't get them on. Fake calls for people over the announcement system and, of course, the buzzer in the hand and whoopee cushions on the roller coaster.
But then he got cocky. Alfie, the hot dog vendor had been taken down a strip or two by his supervisor when the ketchup had been replaced with hot sauce. Katie had spent her entire morning cleaning up the fake blood that had been sprayed all around the medical room. Not to mention the hideous stench in the haunted house, which turned out to be a decomposing trout being held tightly by the vampire in the bed. It had taken Max, the ride operator, two days to find it and another to get rid of the smell.
Now itching powder in his Monty suit? Finn tried to do his final soft paw shuffle without screaming, and then practically fell through the curtain in his haste to get off. This was the last straw. He burst into the locker room to find Chris curled into the fetal position, arms wrapped around his waist as he rocked back and forth at his own hilarity. How he managed to wait until the heavy door had closed behind him before he spoke, Finn would never know; but as soon as it did he let out a stream of profanity that would make Aunt Patti proud.
"Get me out of this, you asshole!"
"Not until you promise not to hurt me," Chris said, holding up his hands in surrender.
"Hurt you?" Finn shouted so his voice wasn't muffled by the head he wore. "I’m not gonna hurt you. I'm gonna fuckin' kill you!"
"Come on, man," Chris laughed. "Where's your sense of humor? It's Halloween!"
"Not for two days you dipshit, now get this fucking thing off me!"
It took a lot longer to get Finn out of the suit than usual, mostly because Chris was laughing too hard to be of much use. But he eventually stood beneath the warm spray of the shower, scrubbing at his skin with soap in itching places he didn't even know he had places that coulditch. He picked up the shampoo bottle and hesitated before he poured some into his palm. Could he trust that Chris wouldn't be stupid enough not to have doctored the bottle? He put the bottle back on the shelf. He wasn't thatstupid. Soap would do until he got home. Finn sighed heavily. Chris needed to be taught a lesson. Unfortunately, Chris was so thick-skinned, it would have to be a lesson of mammoth proportions.
What the hell could he do? Killing him would be illegal, albeit extremely satisfying. If he only had himself to think about, he might consider it, but he doubted Aiden would be all that impressed if he was doing twenty-five to life in California State. Finn shook his head against the thought. No, he refused to sink to Chris' level. He'd threaten him with bodily harm and wait it out. Two days. Two little days and it would be over. He'd come out the bigger person, his dignity intact.
Finn didn't notice the change in water pressure until it was too late to get out of the way of the suddenly freezing cold water. He squealed like a scalded cat and pressed his body against the tiles behind him—then squealed again as the cold ceramic touched his skin. "Chris!"
Fuck being the bigger person. Fuck taking the mature approach. And fuck Chris Rawlins—he was going down.
December 15, 2013
CHRISTMAS GIVEAWAY WINNERS!
Woohoo! Picked out of the hat by my lovely assistant... the winners are....
First: Sharon Schofield wins a signed copy of New York Cowboy!
Second: Susan Hasse wins the mug full of covers!
Third: Laurie Petersen wins the $10 Amazon gift card!
If you lovely ladies could please contact me on lisaworrall69@gmail.com, we can arrange delivery as I just noticed I've got no emails for you.
Congratulations and thank you for joining in!
Merry Christmas!
First: Sharon Schofield wins a signed copy of New York Cowboy!
Second: Susan Hasse wins the mug full of covers!
Third: Laurie Petersen wins the $10 Amazon gift card!
If you lovely ladies could please contact me on lisaworrall69@gmail.com, we can arrange delivery as I just noticed I've got no emails for you.
Congratulations and thank you for joining in!
Merry Christmas!
December 3, 2013
GUEST POST - KATE SHERWOOD!!!
Today, I am hosting the lovely Kate Sherwood and her upcoming release, The Fall, coming 16 December from Dreamspinner Press, available to pre-order now!
BioKate started writing at about the same time she got back on a horse after a twenty-year break. She’d like to think she's far too young for it to be a mid-life crisis, but apparently she was ready for a few changes!Kate's writing focuses on characters and relationships, people trying to find out how much of themselves they need to keep, and how much they can afford to give away. She tries to find a careful balance between drama and humor—she wants readers to have an intense experience and feel drawn into the book, but she also wants them to enjoy the time they spend reading.
Where you can find Kate – make sure you pop along and say hi!www.Katesherwoodbooks.com– website and bloghttps://www.facebook.com/kate.sherwood.79https://twitter.com/kate_sherwoodhttp://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/store/product_info.php?products_id=4438– buy link for current release
BlurbEvery relationship leaves something behind. Dumped by his sugar daddy, part-time model Scott Mackenzie somehow ends up owning an abandoned church in rural Ontario. He dreams of using it for gay weddings, even if he’ll never have one of his own.
Joe Sutton is trying to keep his family together after his parents’ deaths. Between the family ranch, his brother’s construction company, and commitments around town, he doesn’t have time for a relationship. But Mackenzie is hard to ignore.
As both men fight their growing attraction, challenges to Mackenzie’s business threaten their relationship. If he can’t make it work, he’ll have to crawl back to the city in defeat. But the only solution involves risking the ranch Joe loves, and each man has to decide how much he’ll sacrifice for the other.
ExcerptLorraine snorted. “He didn’t seem too friendly? I’m not surprised.” She shrugged philosophically. “It’s probably the gay thing.”It hit Mackenzie almost like a slap. He’d thought he was prepared for small-town attitudes toward his sexuality and had absolutely considered homophobia as a possible barrier to setting up his wedding chapel somewhere like Falls Creek. But he couldn’t believe it was being treated so casually. “You’re saying he was rude to me because I’m gay?”Lorraine looked startled. “No. I’m not sure I’d call it rude, but the way he acts? Distant, kind of? I always figured it was because he’s gay. You know, he’s always been a bit different, so he’s never really tried too hard to fit in. He just hangs out on his ranch, being a lonely cowboy….” She trailed off and fixed her gaze on Mackenzie. “But you say you’regay as well? I mean, I can’t say it didn’t cross my mind. But it seemed rude to ask….”“Joe Sutton is gay.” Mackenzie had always prided himself on being able to read people and certainly on being able to pick up on that little spark from a man who was noticing Mackenzie’s undeniable charms. But he’d gotten none of that from the cowboy brother. “That’s confirmed? Or you’re just guessing?”“Well, I haven’t been there in the room with him and another fella,” Lorraine said with an arched brow, “but it’s general knowledge. He’s never tried to hide it, not that I ever heard of.”“Maybe he just couldn’t be bothered to speak in order to deny it. He doesn’t seem like someone who cares a whole lot what other people think about him.” Mackenzie was trying to figure it all out. He wanted to find a mirror and make sure he still looked like himself. First Nathan had dumped him for that twenty-year-old, and now a man living in what must surely be a gay desert had crawled right past Mackenzie’s bountiful oasis?“You could ask Nancy Yeats’s nephew, if you wanted. Trevor something or other. He lives over in Darton, and I guess the two of them were seeing each other for quite a while.” Lorraine’s grin was a mix of curiosity and mischief. “If you’re interested, I can find out if he’s seeing anyone right now. I haven’t heard of it, and usually that’d be a good sign that it isn’t happening, but like I said, Joe’s a bit different. A bit more private than most folks.”Private was not a good enough excuse for failing to pay attention to his surroundings or, more importantly, failing to pay attention to Mackenzie. But none of that needed to be shared with a woman who clearly gossiped as a way of life. He smiled brightly. “Oh, no, I’m not interested. You know, not like that. I was just curious. I wanted to know what kind of people I’d be doing business with if I had the Suttons do the work on the church.”“The best kind,” Lorraine said firmly. “You couldn’t do better.”Lorraine started telling a story about the Suttons helping out some poor family that had lost everything in a house fire—well, of course the whole community had chipped in, but the Suttons had done the biggest part—and some people might say that’s because they’re blood, but really, they’d be third cousins at best—because it was Susan Sutton’s grandmother? Yes, grandmother, Maggie Johnson—she was from out in Newfoundland, back before it was even part of Canada, and she’d carried that accent with her for her whole life…. Mackenzie tuned out. Joe Sutton was openly gay. And Mackenzie was a model, for Christ’s sake. Maybe his career hadn’t quite taken off, but that was because Nathan hadn’t really liked it. He hadn’t been rude enough to try to forbid it, but he’d be grumpy for days before and after Mackenzie went out of town for even a couple days, and there just weren’t enough shoots in Toronto to propel someone into the modeling elite. The first time Mackenzie turned down a New York job, Nathan had leased him a silver Mini convertible as a reward. Mackenzie had been thrilled by the symbol of Nathan’s affection and by the adorable new wheels. But being a good boyfriend had made it a bit difficult to be a good model. So, no, it wasn’t as if Mackenzie had set the world on fire as a model. Still, he must be a tastier piece of ass than Nancy Whoever’s nephew!Mackenzie forced himself to pay a bit more attention to Lorraine’s chatter, but the biggest part of his brain was still focused elsewhere. He was not going to be ignored by some desperate hick pretending to be a damn cowboy. No. Joe Sutton was about to get his world rocked. “Nobody puts Baby in a corner,” he muttered to himself, and then he smiled when Lorraine shot him a quizzical glance. “I’ve got to go,” he said without trying to explain. “But thanks so much for catching me up on all this. You’ve given me a lot to think about.”
He beat a hasty retreat inside and went to sit in the sanctuary of the church. A lotto think about. And a lot of things to do, things actually based around the important points of building a successful business and keeping himself out of the poorhouse. But his mind kept drifting back to the tall cowboy who’d told him he had bats in his belfry. And then ignored him. What the hell was Joe Sutton’s problem?
BioKate started writing at about the same time she got back on a horse after a twenty-year break. She’d like to think she's far too young for it to be a mid-life crisis, but apparently she was ready for a few changes!Kate's writing focuses on characters and relationships, people trying to find out how much of themselves they need to keep, and how much they can afford to give away. She tries to find a careful balance between drama and humor—she wants readers to have an intense experience and feel drawn into the book, but she also wants them to enjoy the time they spend reading.
Where you can find Kate – make sure you pop along and say hi!www.Katesherwoodbooks.com– website and bloghttps://www.facebook.com/kate.sherwood.79https://twitter.com/kate_sherwoodhttp://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/store/product_info.php?products_id=4438– buy link for current release
BlurbEvery relationship leaves something behind. Dumped by his sugar daddy, part-time model Scott Mackenzie somehow ends up owning an abandoned church in rural Ontario. He dreams of using it for gay weddings, even if he’ll never have one of his own. Joe Sutton is trying to keep his family together after his parents’ deaths. Between the family ranch, his brother’s construction company, and commitments around town, he doesn’t have time for a relationship. But Mackenzie is hard to ignore.
As both men fight their growing attraction, challenges to Mackenzie’s business threaten their relationship. If he can’t make it work, he’ll have to crawl back to the city in defeat. But the only solution involves risking the ranch Joe loves, and each man has to decide how much he’ll sacrifice for the other.
ExcerptLorraine snorted. “He didn’t seem too friendly? I’m not surprised.” She shrugged philosophically. “It’s probably the gay thing.”It hit Mackenzie almost like a slap. He’d thought he was prepared for small-town attitudes toward his sexuality and had absolutely considered homophobia as a possible barrier to setting up his wedding chapel somewhere like Falls Creek. But he couldn’t believe it was being treated so casually. “You’re saying he was rude to me because I’m gay?”Lorraine looked startled. “No. I’m not sure I’d call it rude, but the way he acts? Distant, kind of? I always figured it was because he’s gay. You know, he’s always been a bit different, so he’s never really tried too hard to fit in. He just hangs out on his ranch, being a lonely cowboy….” She trailed off and fixed her gaze on Mackenzie. “But you say you’regay as well? I mean, I can’t say it didn’t cross my mind. But it seemed rude to ask….”“Joe Sutton is gay.” Mackenzie had always prided himself on being able to read people and certainly on being able to pick up on that little spark from a man who was noticing Mackenzie’s undeniable charms. But he’d gotten none of that from the cowboy brother. “That’s confirmed? Or you’re just guessing?”“Well, I haven’t been there in the room with him and another fella,” Lorraine said with an arched brow, “but it’s general knowledge. He’s never tried to hide it, not that I ever heard of.”“Maybe he just couldn’t be bothered to speak in order to deny it. He doesn’t seem like someone who cares a whole lot what other people think about him.” Mackenzie was trying to figure it all out. He wanted to find a mirror and make sure he still looked like himself. First Nathan had dumped him for that twenty-year-old, and now a man living in what must surely be a gay desert had crawled right past Mackenzie’s bountiful oasis?“You could ask Nancy Yeats’s nephew, if you wanted. Trevor something or other. He lives over in Darton, and I guess the two of them were seeing each other for quite a while.” Lorraine’s grin was a mix of curiosity and mischief. “If you’re interested, I can find out if he’s seeing anyone right now. I haven’t heard of it, and usually that’d be a good sign that it isn’t happening, but like I said, Joe’s a bit different. A bit more private than most folks.”Private was not a good enough excuse for failing to pay attention to his surroundings or, more importantly, failing to pay attention to Mackenzie. But none of that needed to be shared with a woman who clearly gossiped as a way of life. He smiled brightly. “Oh, no, I’m not interested. You know, not like that. I was just curious. I wanted to know what kind of people I’d be doing business with if I had the Suttons do the work on the church.”“The best kind,” Lorraine said firmly. “You couldn’t do better.”Lorraine started telling a story about the Suttons helping out some poor family that had lost everything in a house fire—well, of course the whole community had chipped in, but the Suttons had done the biggest part—and some people might say that’s because they’re blood, but really, they’d be third cousins at best—because it was Susan Sutton’s grandmother? Yes, grandmother, Maggie Johnson—she was from out in Newfoundland, back before it was even part of Canada, and she’d carried that accent with her for her whole life…. Mackenzie tuned out. Joe Sutton was openly gay. And Mackenzie was a model, for Christ’s sake. Maybe his career hadn’t quite taken off, but that was because Nathan hadn’t really liked it. He hadn’t been rude enough to try to forbid it, but he’d be grumpy for days before and after Mackenzie went out of town for even a couple days, and there just weren’t enough shoots in Toronto to propel someone into the modeling elite. The first time Mackenzie turned down a New York job, Nathan had leased him a silver Mini convertible as a reward. Mackenzie had been thrilled by the symbol of Nathan’s affection and by the adorable new wheels. But being a good boyfriend had made it a bit difficult to be a good model. So, no, it wasn’t as if Mackenzie had set the world on fire as a model. Still, he must be a tastier piece of ass than Nancy Whoever’s nephew!Mackenzie forced himself to pay a bit more attention to Lorraine’s chatter, but the biggest part of his brain was still focused elsewhere. He was not going to be ignored by some desperate hick pretending to be a damn cowboy. No. Joe Sutton was about to get his world rocked. “Nobody puts Baby in a corner,” he muttered to himself, and then he smiled when Lorraine shot him a quizzical glance. “I’ve got to go,” he said without trying to explain. “But thanks so much for catching me up on all this. You’ve given me a lot to think about.”
He beat a hasty retreat inside and went to sit in the sanctuary of the church. A lotto think about. And a lot of things to do, things actually based around the important points of building a successful business and keeping himself out of the poorhouse. But his mind kept drifting back to the tall cowboy who’d told him he had bats in his belfry. And then ignored him. What the hell was Joe Sutton’s problem?
November 29, 2013
CHRISTMAS GIVEAWAY!
Just a little Christmas giveaway, but remember, you'd better be on the nice list!
So... what's your best Christmas present EVER - past or present (all puns intended)?
Leave a comment and I will get my glamorous assistant to pick a name out of the proverbial hat (this time red with a white bobble on it) and you can win....
1st name: Signed print of New York Cowboy. (Picture below)
2nd name:
Special collage mug inlcuding the covers of, Always Hope, A Nanny for nate, Going Under, By Design, A Perfect Gift, I Can See for Miles, Laurel Heights, New York Cowboy, Too Much Christmas Spirit and Westford Hall.
3rd name: $10 Amazon Gift Card to get your Christmas reading fix.
Psssst... there might be a little something extra in the shape of chocolate, too...
Happy commenting!
So... what's your best Christmas present EVER - past or present (all puns intended)?
Leave a comment and I will get my glamorous assistant to pick a name out of the proverbial hat (this time red with a white bobble on it) and you can win....
1st name: Signed print of New York Cowboy. (Picture below)
2nd name:
Special collage mug inlcuding the covers of, Always Hope, A Nanny for nate, Going Under, By Design, A Perfect Gift, I Can See for Miles, Laurel Heights, New York Cowboy, Too Much Christmas Spirit and Westford Hall.
3rd name: $10 Amazon Gift Card to get your Christmas reading fix.
Psssst... there might be a little something extra in the shape of chocolate, too...
Happy commenting!
November 26, 2013
FINDING MYLES - RELEASE DATE: 21 DECEMBER
BLURB (UNEDITED):Myles and Ed were broadsided on their way to get married and the accident left Myles burned and scarred. For Ed, Myles was his soulmate and the accident haddone nothing to change that. For Myles, it had changed everything and he disappeared.
Faced with a perfuntory verbal Dear John from Myles's father and told to move on, Ed did the only thing he could--searched frantically for the man he loved.
Two days before Christmas, Ed finds himself on the road to his last hope, an addressto a remote cabin high in the Adirondack mountains. But will Myles be there and, more importantly, will Ed be able to convince him that together is where they belong?
Part of the Silver Holiday Wishes Themed Stories :)
November 22, 2013
UPDATE ON MONTY!
I apologise for the lateness of Marshall's Park #8 but real life does, on occasion, suck the big one.However, just to let those of you who are enjoying the series, numbers 8, 9 and 10 are being released before Christmas at the same time.
And 8 and 9 will be free.
So keep your eyes peeled and I'll let you know the release date as soon as I do :)
Keep reading!
Lisa xxx
October 26, 2013
NEW YORK COWBOY AVAILABLE IN PRINT!
Woo hoo! New York Cowboy is now available in print as well as e-book and you can get your print version HEREOnce again, 20% of the royalties of each copy sold will be donated to The Friends of Roxburge House hospice in memory of my friend Keith, to whom the book is dedicated.
Thank you :)
October 24, 2013
HOW TO LEGITIMATELY STEAL A BOOK - BUY IT FROM AMAZON!
There has been a great hoohah in the press lately about the type of self-published books Amazon are allowing to be sold on their website. This has resulted in some online stores removing self-published titles with what they consider inappropriate covers, or content as suggested by the blurb. Basically censorship and denying the reader the ability to have the brains enough to read what they want.
Now.... I'm not related to Stephen Hawking or anything, but to me this seems a bit of a hasty move. There are categories that you can list your book under, plainly stating what it's about. Therefore, the adult is responsible for making the decision whether or not to buy.
If they're worried about children seeing these titles.... where are the parental controls? You get them on your pc, your laptop, your TV for God's sake. So surely the answer is to categorize the titles correctly and make sure the ones you don't want your kiddies wandering across are locked down tight and they can't get into them! The answer is not to remove the author's right to sell and the reader's right to buy!
There is, however, another issue with Amazon that seems to slip through the cracks and, as the author, we have to just bite our tongues and put up with it. What is that issue? The legitimate theft of an e-book.
There is a 30 day returns policy on everything on Amazon, including e-books. Although there are some things they won't accept the return of....
Amazon.com doesn't accept returns of the following items:
Items that are classified as hazardous materials or use flammable liquids or gases (contact the manufacturer directly for service, warranty, return, and refund information)Computer laptops, desktops, and Kindles more than 30 days after deliveryAny product missing the serial number or UPCDownloadable software productsOnline subscriptions after they have been accessedGift cards (except as required by law)Pay As You Go (or prepaid) phone cards (contact a local authorized dealer or the carrier directly)Prepaid game cards (World of Warcraft, Xbox 360 Live, Wii Points, etc.)Items purchased from sellers other than Amazon.com (but the seller may accept the return)Some jewelry ordersSome health and personal care itemsGrocery productsOpen softwareItems with special shipping restrictions imposed by the U.S. Department of Transportation (as indicated on the product detail page)Live insectsWine
So, you can steal a book, but you can't return live insects, because books aren't important, right?I may have a little problem with that.
As a self-published author I can keep track of my returns. I can't however keep a track of returns of titles published by Silver or Dreamspinner. There are, however, a group of people out there who purposely buy titles, read them, then return them - and are quite blatant about it. You can't go into Waterstone or Barnes & Noble, or any other book store and say, sorry I didn't like it, can I have my money back. Oh, I get it, it's not a REAL book is it? It's only an e-book, so what does it matter?
I'll tell you when it matters. It matters when my kids ask me for something and I can't give it to them because I've had 20% returns on a title. That's when it matters, when you're messing with my kids. Writing is my passion, that's true, but it's also my business and the way I put food on the table, just like any other working single mother. So if any of you thieves out there are working single mothers... shame on you.
But what has sparked this post today? The release of New York Cowboy today - and the return of 1 copy. It's only 1 copy you say, what the hell is she on her soapbox for?
Yes, it may well be only one copy, but this book is very special to me because it is dedicated to my friend Keith who lost his fight with cancer at the beginning of September, and 20% of the royalties from each copy sold is being donated to the hospice, Roxburgh House, who cared for Keith during his last weeks and continues to care for the countless others who are still waging their war against this awful disease.
So now you're not only willing to steal from me, but from a hospice, too? Yes, today it's 1 copy, but how many are there to follow? Well I can promise you now, I will take into account every return and I will take money out of my own pocket to make sure 20% of my royalties go to Roxburgh House.
Amazon has been so quick to rip the titles from their shelves but, as my friend Tina said, they should be paying more attention to the other policies that slip through the cracks.
So... I hope you enjoyed the book Mr/Ms/Mrs Returner number 1... and I hope you choke on it.
Thank you for listening.
Now.... I'm not related to Stephen Hawking or anything, but to me this seems a bit of a hasty move. There are categories that you can list your book under, plainly stating what it's about. Therefore, the adult is responsible for making the decision whether or not to buy.
If they're worried about children seeing these titles.... where are the parental controls? You get them on your pc, your laptop, your TV for God's sake. So surely the answer is to categorize the titles correctly and make sure the ones you don't want your kiddies wandering across are locked down tight and they can't get into them! The answer is not to remove the author's right to sell and the reader's right to buy!
There is, however, another issue with Amazon that seems to slip through the cracks and, as the author, we have to just bite our tongues and put up with it. What is that issue? The legitimate theft of an e-book.
There is a 30 day returns policy on everything on Amazon, including e-books. Although there are some things they won't accept the return of....
Amazon.com doesn't accept returns of the following items:
Items that are classified as hazardous materials or use flammable liquids or gases (contact the manufacturer directly for service, warranty, return, and refund information)Computer laptops, desktops, and Kindles more than 30 days after deliveryAny product missing the serial number or UPCDownloadable software productsOnline subscriptions after they have been accessedGift cards (except as required by law)Pay As You Go (or prepaid) phone cards (contact a local authorized dealer or the carrier directly)Prepaid game cards (World of Warcraft, Xbox 360 Live, Wii Points, etc.)Items purchased from sellers other than Amazon.com (but the seller may accept the return)Some jewelry ordersSome health and personal care itemsGrocery productsOpen softwareItems with special shipping restrictions imposed by the U.S. Department of Transportation (as indicated on the product detail page)Live insectsWine
So, you can steal a book, but you can't return live insects, because books aren't important, right?I may have a little problem with that.
As a self-published author I can keep track of my returns. I can't however keep a track of returns of titles published by Silver or Dreamspinner. There are, however, a group of people out there who purposely buy titles, read them, then return them - and are quite blatant about it. You can't go into Waterstone or Barnes & Noble, or any other book store and say, sorry I didn't like it, can I have my money back. Oh, I get it, it's not a REAL book is it? It's only an e-book, so what does it matter?
I'll tell you when it matters. It matters when my kids ask me for something and I can't give it to them because I've had 20% returns on a title. That's when it matters, when you're messing with my kids. Writing is my passion, that's true, but it's also my business and the way I put food on the table, just like any other working single mother. So if any of you thieves out there are working single mothers... shame on you.
But what has sparked this post today? The release of New York Cowboy today - and the return of 1 copy. It's only 1 copy you say, what the hell is she on her soapbox for?
Yes, it may well be only one copy, but this book is very special to me because it is dedicated to my friend Keith who lost his fight with cancer at the beginning of September, and 20% of the royalties from each copy sold is being donated to the hospice, Roxburgh House, who cared for Keith during his last weeks and continues to care for the countless others who are still waging their war against this awful disease.
So now you're not only willing to steal from me, but from a hospice, too? Yes, today it's 1 copy, but how many are there to follow? Well I can promise you now, I will take into account every return and I will take money out of my own pocket to make sure 20% of my royalties go to Roxburgh House.
Amazon has been so quick to rip the titles from their shelves but, as my friend Tina said, they should be paying more attention to the other policies that slip through the cracks.
So... I hope you enjoyed the book Mr/Ms/Mrs Returner number 1... and I hope you choke on it.
Thank you for listening.
RELEASE DAY - NEW YORK COWBOY
It's been a long time coming, but it's finally finished. Thank you all for being so patient. You can get your copy HERE
Blurb: It's been six months since Vance Wolf buried his father. Driven to an early grave by the constant harassment of the new owner of the neighboring property, Andrew Blackwell. Now Vance's cattle are disappearing faster than he can replace them and their cash flow has been wiped out by the new barn they had to build after the other one mysteriously caught fire. The local sheriff's pockets are being lined by Blackwell, so Vance knows they're on their own and is at his wits end. Then his mother suggests they open up the ranch to business types as a cowboy camp.
Adam Prentiss arrives at Wolf Creek Ranch on a team-building exercise with the four colleagues in his department. He is not the cowboy type, but has no choice as his boss, and father, has sent him to Wolf Creek with instructions to delve into the financial status of the ranch and report back to him. Falling for Vance Wolf had not been part of the plan, but the connection between them had been instant. But what was he more afraid of? Disobeying his boss or Vance finding out Adam's father was in fact Andrew Blackwell and he'd been sent to help him appropriate Vance's land by any means necessary?
Excerpt:Chapter 1
Vance surveyed the ranch from on top of the hill overlooking the valley, his right leg crossed over the pommel, the horn digging into his thigh. Leaning forward, he stroked along the length of his horse's sweat-dampened neck, mumbling soothing nonsense as he stared down at his home. He'd ridden Goliath hard across the south pasture in an attempt to clear his head, and he knew the animal would be grateful for the breather. A chuckle rumbled in his chest as Goliath dipped his head to nibble at the grass, obviously taking full advantage of Vance's pensive mood. Could the horse sense he wasn't exactly eager to return home? Vance wouldn't be surprised. Gazing down at the ranch, the familiar flash of pride washed through him. Wolf Creek was a little Texan town sixty miles from the hustle and bustle of Austin, where life moved along at a sedate pace, a far cry from the big city. Benjamin Wolf, Vance's great-great grandfather, had been one of the town's original founders in 1878 and there had always been a Wolf in residence at Wolf Creek Ranch. As far as Vance was concerned, that's how it was going to stay.Some of the cattle had been spooked during last night’s storm and broken through one of the fences, and Vance had spent most of the morning herding them off his neighbor's ranch. Thankfully he’d known the Carters, who'd owned the land along the south side of Wolf Creek since he was a kid, so he'd had help from Jake Carter's men to round up the wanderers. Not that the same could be said for the ranch that stretched away on the other side of the shallow creek bed that gave Vance's ranch its name. Sweet Meadow Ranch had been owned by the Gartons for forty years until a year ago when old man Garton had died. His son, Malcolm, had moved off the farm as soon as he could and his father had barely been in the ground before he'd sold the spread to some businessman no one had ever heard of out of New York. Two weeks later Andrew Blackwell had moved in, bringing more money than Wolf Creek had ever seen, charming his way into the good graces of the townsfolk, and lining the pockets of the local council and sheriff's offices.Hell, he'd even charmed Vance's parents, Jacob and Audrey Wolf, for a while, too—but not him. Vance remembered the night Blackwell had sat at their dinner table, eating his momma's roast off his grandmother's china with the best silver. He'd seemed nice enough; said all the right things, made all the right jokes, but Vance had noted, with a sense of unease, that Blackwell's smile never reached his eyes. Cold, dead eyes—like a shark's. It had been during dessert, his momma's apple cobbler if he remembered it right, that Blackwell had expressed an interest in Wolf Creek. Vance's father had laughed it off and they'd continued with the meal, but Vance hadn't missed the flicker of annoyance Blackwell hadn't quite been able to disguise before the subject had been changed. Throughout the rest of the evening Vance's first impression of the man hadn't improved and, two weeks later, when they received the first formal offer from Blackwell's solicitors, he'd known he'd been right to go with his gut instinct.
Blurb: It's been six months since Vance Wolf buried his father. Driven to an early grave by the constant harassment of the new owner of the neighboring property, Andrew Blackwell. Now Vance's cattle are disappearing faster than he can replace them and their cash flow has been wiped out by the new barn they had to build after the other one mysteriously caught fire. The local sheriff's pockets are being lined by Blackwell, so Vance knows they're on their own and is at his wits end. Then his mother suggests they open up the ranch to business types as a cowboy camp.Adam Prentiss arrives at Wolf Creek Ranch on a team-building exercise with the four colleagues in his department. He is not the cowboy type, but has no choice as his boss, and father, has sent him to Wolf Creek with instructions to delve into the financial status of the ranch and report back to him. Falling for Vance Wolf had not been part of the plan, but the connection between them had been instant. But what was he more afraid of? Disobeying his boss or Vance finding out Adam's father was in fact Andrew Blackwell and he'd been sent to help him appropriate Vance's land by any means necessary?
Excerpt:Chapter 1
Vance surveyed the ranch from on top of the hill overlooking the valley, his right leg crossed over the pommel, the horn digging into his thigh. Leaning forward, he stroked along the length of his horse's sweat-dampened neck, mumbling soothing nonsense as he stared down at his home. He'd ridden Goliath hard across the south pasture in an attempt to clear his head, and he knew the animal would be grateful for the breather. A chuckle rumbled in his chest as Goliath dipped his head to nibble at the grass, obviously taking full advantage of Vance's pensive mood. Could the horse sense he wasn't exactly eager to return home? Vance wouldn't be surprised. Gazing down at the ranch, the familiar flash of pride washed through him. Wolf Creek was a little Texan town sixty miles from the hustle and bustle of Austin, where life moved along at a sedate pace, a far cry from the big city. Benjamin Wolf, Vance's great-great grandfather, had been one of the town's original founders in 1878 and there had always been a Wolf in residence at Wolf Creek Ranch. As far as Vance was concerned, that's how it was going to stay.Some of the cattle had been spooked during last night’s storm and broken through one of the fences, and Vance had spent most of the morning herding them off his neighbor's ranch. Thankfully he’d known the Carters, who'd owned the land along the south side of Wolf Creek since he was a kid, so he'd had help from Jake Carter's men to round up the wanderers. Not that the same could be said for the ranch that stretched away on the other side of the shallow creek bed that gave Vance's ranch its name. Sweet Meadow Ranch had been owned by the Gartons for forty years until a year ago when old man Garton had died. His son, Malcolm, had moved off the farm as soon as he could and his father had barely been in the ground before he'd sold the spread to some businessman no one had ever heard of out of New York. Two weeks later Andrew Blackwell had moved in, bringing more money than Wolf Creek had ever seen, charming his way into the good graces of the townsfolk, and lining the pockets of the local council and sheriff's offices.Hell, he'd even charmed Vance's parents, Jacob and Audrey Wolf, for a while, too—but not him. Vance remembered the night Blackwell had sat at their dinner table, eating his momma's roast off his grandmother's china with the best silver. He'd seemed nice enough; said all the right things, made all the right jokes, but Vance had noted, with a sense of unease, that Blackwell's smile never reached his eyes. Cold, dead eyes—like a shark's. It had been during dessert, his momma's apple cobbler if he remembered it right, that Blackwell had expressed an interest in Wolf Creek. Vance's father had laughed it off and they'd continued with the meal, but Vance hadn't missed the flicker of annoyance Blackwell hadn't quite been able to disguise before the subject had been changed. Throughout the rest of the evening Vance's first impression of the man hadn't improved and, two weeks later, when they received the first formal offer from Blackwell's solicitors, he'd known he'd been right to go with his gut instinct.
September 30, 2013
UPDATE
Guys - I love you all and I've been told my biggest flaw is underestimating my time management.
New York Cowboy was supposed to be a little prequel introducing us to Adam and Vance before they played with some eggnog in Too Much Christmas Spirit.
Somehow it's turned into this epic piece of Texas gold rush meets city slickers and I'm stressed up to the armpits trying to get it finished with sick kids, sick me and a house full of washing!
So I'm sorry, but I need to take a deep breath as this stupid thing heads more towards 40,000 than 30 - it will not be released today.
I hate letting you all down and do thank you for your patience - but I won't try and fob you lovely people off with a rushed piece.
Lisa
x
New York Cowboy was supposed to be a little prequel introducing us to Adam and Vance before they played with some eggnog in Too Much Christmas Spirit.
Somehow it's turned into this epic piece of Texas gold rush meets city slickers and I'm stressed up to the armpits trying to get it finished with sick kids, sick me and a house full of washing!
So I'm sorry, but I need to take a deep breath as this stupid thing heads more towards 40,000 than 30 - it will not be released today.
I hate letting you all down and do thank you for your patience - but I won't try and fob you lovely people off with a rushed piece.
Lisa
x
