Lisa Worrall's Blog
June 30, 2020
RELEASE DAY! ALPHA PROTECT BY SUE BROWN BOOK 4 IN THE J.T.'S BAR SERIES

June 25, 2020
COMING 15TH JULY 2020..... LAUREL HEIGHTS (BOOK 3)

BLURB:
Why should they have it all when he had nothing? That night they took everything from him and now, one by one, they are going to pay.
Detective Scott Turner is gruff, a little surly and not a fan of people, but he’s extremely good at his job. He’s also bull-headed, likes to get his own way and leaves towels on the bathroom floor, much to the frustration of his partner, in every sense of the word, Will.
Detective Will Turner is definitely the good cop at work, but behind closed doors he prefers to play bad cop. He also has more than a touch of OCD, hogs the remote and makes Scott spend every weekend at some antique fair, satisfying his need for knick-knacks to furnish their lovingly restored home.
They shouldn’t fit, but they do. At least that’s what Will thought. Until someone from Scott’s past threatens to blow their perfect world apart.
May 11, 2020
WIFE UNDERCOVER - WIP - A LITTLE SNIPPET

PROLOGUE
Acacia Avenue, 11.05pm: Subject put out the rubbish and returned to the house.Carver slid the pen into the ringed spine of the notebook and tossed them onto the passenger seat of the car. Smothering a yawn, he leaned his head back against the headrest and closed his eyes. Fifteen years he’d been doing this job. The last ten of which had been in the field. In the Goddamn field! He scrubbed his fingers through his artfully gelled hair, giving mental rant to his frustration. I’ve looked after ministers, senators and people so deep in the government nobody knew they even existed! Hell, I’ve schmoosed spies, recovered stolen data, priceless artefacts and even been instrumental in averting national and international disasters a couple of times! So, what the fuck am I doing in this tree-lined suburban nightmare? He grabbed his cigarettes off the dashboard and shook one out of the pack into his hand, then activated the car’s cigarette lighter with an irritated jab of his finger. While he waited, he recalled the conversation he’d had with the chief when he’d been called into his office this morning. “Sending you on a bit of a recon operation.”“Recon, sir? Isn’t that usually Robinson’s area of expertise?”“It seems our friends in immunology have been cooking up a new cocktail, and our sources tell us that there are some rather unsavoury fellows interested in their lead man. We’d like you to keep an eye on him.”“Has he been approached?”“Not yet. For the moment, I want you to get an idea of his routine, visitors to the house etc. You know the drill.”“But, begging your pardon, sir, wouldn’t Robinson be better—”“Here’s the address. Keep me informed.”“But—”“It’s simple enough, Carver. Watch and wait.”The lighter popped, indicating it was fully heated, and he pulled it out, holding it to his cigarette and puffing softly until it caught. The tip of the cigarette glowed orange in the dark as Carver took a long drag. He blew a few smoke rings and watched them float up to the ceiling where they dissipated into the fabric. Sweet Jesus he was bored. In fact, bored didn’t even come close. He hadn’t done surveillance since he was a rookie for God’s sake. Why now? Why did it have to be him? Who did he piss off? He couldn’t think of—the porch light came on and Carver watched the target as he walked down the path, deposited another bag of rubbish by the gate then went back into the house, closing the door behind him. Carver rolled his eyes as he scribbled in his notebook again. Could this bloke possibly be duller? Not for the first time, he wondered why the hell anyone would be interested in this guy. From what he’d been able to ascertain, the guy was so dull, he made picking your nose with a lighted match, while waxing your bollocks with an orbital sander, sound like a fun evening. But then, as the chief pointed out this morning, he wasn’t here to wonder. He was here to watch and wait. “Still don’t know why it had to be me,” he mumbled to himself. He caught movement in the big bay window, and he picked up the mini binoculars to see if he could get a better visual through the net curtain. Ooh pulling the curtains, how excit—“Ah fuck.” Everything fell into place.
Chapter one
“This is oddly addictive!” Miles said loudly.Emme smiled as he turned his attention back to the dance floor, where around thirty men and women danced in formation, their cowboy boots stomping up a storm. As he bobbed in time to the music, she chuckled softly to herself. If there was anyone less likely to be found in a flannel shirt and faux Stetson, it was her mild-mannered—much rather have his nose stuck in a book—husband. Not that it had been easy to get him here. There had been a lot of pleading, arm twisting and some manipulative tears she wasn’t altogether proud of, but she’d been willing to try anything. “I thought these neighbourhood things were your idea of hell?” he’d complained.“They are. Which is why you’re coming with me. If I have to suffer, so do you.”“Why?”“’Til death us do part, in sickness, health and cripplingly awkward social situations… any of those ringing a bell?”“Really? You’re playing the “because you’re contractually obligated to” card?”“I could always play the “because I said so” one.”Miles had glanced down at his dinner and rolled his eyes. “At least I now know what I’m going to do to deserve the fillet mignon.”“Oh, come on,” she’d wheedled. “You’re the one who said we should mingle, make friends. The yummy mummies have been trying to rope me into one of these things since we moved in. After three months the excuse well is running a little dry!”“Fine. I’ll go. But you owe me.”“Absolutely. Anything you want.”“Anything…?”She gazed around the barn—or church hall, depending on how seriously you were taking it—and lifted her glass in acknowledgement at the rather busty woman who waved frantically at her from the bar—an old tressel table bowing under the weight of different bottles of alcohol next to a large water butt filled with ice and bottles of Stella. “Oh God, incoming.” The owner of the bored, monotone voice flopped down onto the chair beside Emme’s, her acrylic nails curled around the stem of a wine glass the size of a gold-fish bowl. She gave a brief tilt of her head to indicate the busty aforementioned, who now headed towards them. “Be nice, Harriet,” Emme admonished, ignoring Harriet’s inelegantly worded response, as she watched Amanda Rixonby-Smythe, head of the Neighbourhood Watch, cut a swathe through the line of Achy Breaky Heart-ers with the determination of a bargain hunter on Black Friday.“Emme! Darling! You came! Miranda from number forty-two said you wouldn’t, so did Daisy from number thirty-six, but I told them they were wrong. She’ll come, I said. She promised. And here you are!” The glasses rattled as Amanda threw herself down on the chair opposite Emme and hoisted her tremendous bosom onto the table. “Here I am!” Emme replied with as natural a smile as she could, pushing her glass closer to Harriet, who immediately took the hint and refilled it from the bottle of Merlot she clung to.“And you brought Harriet, how… lovely.”“She didn’t bring me, Amanda,” Harriet Stanbridge—or number twenty-four to give her correct title—drawled. “Oddly enough, I’ve been allowed out on my own for a number of years now, the judge said it was okay.”“Dear Harriet, always with the wit, so… charming.”Emme almost, not quite, but almost snorted out loud at the exchange. She’d only known them five minutes when she realised there was no love lost between the two women. Neither had divulged what history they had, but she hadn’t needed to be a genius to know it was there. “I see you’ve got Charles manning the bar again,” Harriet continued. “Do you think that’s wise considering his weakness for cheap wine and…,” her gaze settled on Amanda’s hair, “even cheaper blondes?”“Anyway!” Emme not so gently kicked Harriet under the table and smiled brightly at Amanda, whose face had turned a shade of puce that really didn’t complement her pink and white checked cowboy shirt. “You’ve done a wonderful job, Amanda,” she waved an arm expressively in the general direction of, well, everything. “I was just saying to Miles what a wonderful job you’ve done, wasn’t I Miles? Miles?”“What?” Miles looked utterly bewildered.Emme gave an over the top exasperated laugh and punched him on the arm—a little too hard by the glare he shot her. She rolled her eyes at Amanda in a “see what I have to put up with” way and said, “Keep up, darling. Wasn’t I just saying what a wonderful job Amanda’s done with tonight?” The almost imperceptible widening of her gaze dared him to disagree.“Yes,” Miles replied, patting Emme’s hand where it lay on his forearm—maybe it was more of a slap, but fairs fair—she’d get him back later under the covers, if he was lucky. “Indeed, you were, darling. A wonderful job, Amanda. I really don’t know how you do it. You certainly go above and beyond the call for Acacia Avenue’s little community.”Amanda twittered like a teenage girl as Miles exuded charm from every pore. Not that Emme could blame her, it’s how he hooked her after all. Well, that, a packet of Kleenex and the Friends box set. She nudged Harriet in the ribs, cutting off the venomous quip she knew was desperate to trip off Harriet’s tongue. Harriet glared at her, but snapped her lips shut and refilled her wine glass. Smiling fondly as Miles kept Amanda enthralled with sweeping gestures at the room, Emme covered a guffaw with a coughing fit, when Amanda actually ducked to avoid having her hat knocked off. She should have warned her. Miles’ hands did most of the talking. He shot her a quick sidelong look, not in the least bit convinced by her attempt to cover her amusement. He knew her too well. Emme turned her attention to the dance floor, knowing from experience there was no point in trying to talk to Harriet while Amanda was within insulting distance. She surveyed the dancers, trying not to wince as old Mr Flanagan—number sixty-five—ran over Sadie’s—number fourteen—foot with his wheelchair. Apparently, when Amanda had tried to tell him that line dancing wasn’t really for wheels, the old guy had told her to piss off. Emme had tried, of course, to sound sympathetic to her plight while giving Mr Flanagan a mental high five. She’d have told her to piss off as well and, judging by the laughter followed by the kiss she slapped on his withered cheek, Sadie hadn’t suffered any lasting damage.If you’d told me eighteen months ago that this is where I’d be…The thought had crossed Emme’s mind more than once over the last four months. She’d been more than happy in their little flat outside London. They’d moved in a couple of weeks before the wedding, and every nook and cranny had been furnished with some little knick-knack which meant something. It was the first real home she’d had in a very long time and they were happy there, settling into their new life together.Then, just before their first wedding anniversary, Hugh was offered the opportunity of a lifetime. The dream job that everyone hopes for, but rarely comes along. Of course, there wasn’t any question of him turning it down. She’d follow him to the ends of the earth and back again, they both knew that. Although she’d be lying if she said closing the door to their flat the last time hadn’t been one of the hardest things she’d ever had to do. The house in Acacia Avenue came with the job, and she couldn’t deny how beautiful it was. They’d really sold it to them, too. Closer to the city they said, easier for Hugh to commute to the office, a lovely community to be a part of. But they had somehow neglected to mention that Acacia Avenue and its residents were the teensiest bit more Stepford than Hertford.
April 7, 2020
COMING SOON COVER REVEAL - LAUREL HEIGHTS 1, 2 AND 3!!
December 12, 2019
MR POPSALOS BOOK I AND II - JUST IN TIME FOR CHRISTMAS!
Available now at Amazon for 99c and on Kindle Unlimited.

Blurb:
Book One – A Christmas SurpriseLuke Fisher has been a single parent for six years. During those six years, he has become painfully aware that the moment you reveal that you have a kid, you immediately become less dateable. Rather than set himself up for the inevitable fall, he just doesn’t date. But it doesn’t matter, because he has everything he needs; a beautiful son, a good job, and a supportive family. He doesn’t need anything or anyone else…does he? He doesn't think so until two weeks before Christmas, when he meets Jamie in a bar while out with some colleagues. The man is undoubtedly the hottest thing Luke has ever seen and one glance into Jamie's beautiful eyes tells him the feeling is mutual. But will the attraction fade once Jamie finds out about Reggie? After an amazing night together, Luke decides to pre-empt the heartache and throws away Jamie's number, thinking he will never see him again…
Book Two – The Perfect Gift Jamie and Luke’s first anniversary is fast approaching and Jamie knows exactly what he wants to give Luke. The platinum wedding bands have been burning a hole in his suitcase in the attic for two months. But before he can say those four life-changing words, an accident throws their well-ordered lives into disarray.
Get your copy HERE
June 16, 2019
GIVEAWAY WINNERS!
So..... drum roll...... the winners are.....
Sula!
Jen CW!
and Debra E!
Well done ladies and to all those who participated
I will be emailing you shortly.
May 29, 2019
VERY UNEDITED PROLOGUE OF LAUREL HEIGHTS 3
PROLOGUE
Holding the lighter under the bowl of the spoon, he watched, fascinated, as the white powder began to crystalize and melt into the water under the heat of the flame. He smiled; this was good shit, the best that money could buy—he should know, he’d paid enough for it. Not that he minded. His father had always said, “If you want to do a job right, you need to make sure you have the right tools.” He glanced at the array of… tools… on the table, the best that money could buy. Each one designed to do exactly what he needed it to do. He closed the lighter and shoved it in his pocket, then picked up the syringe.With a steady hand, he dipped the needle into the mix and slowly pulled back the plunger. When he was satisfied all the liquid had been drawn into the syringe, he lifted it up to the light. His heartbeat quickened and the blood rushed in his ears. He’d thought about this moment for so long, and now the wait would soon be at an end. He picked up the rubber tourniquet and turned, his lips curving as the man’s eyes widened comically, and he tried to scream from behind the gag he’d used to quiet him. His fear was palpable. It rolled off him in waves. Had done from the moment he’d sat up on the back seat of his car and ordered him to drive. He stank of it. Good. He should be afraid. Even more afraid than she’d been, because he’d know it was coming. He walked slowly towards him, his footsteps heavy on the flagstone floor, the sound deliciously ominous as it echoed around the small space. He liked it. Gave the proceedings a film noir vibe, ramped up the anticipation. From the sheer terror in the man’s eyes as he watched his every move, he could tell he wasn’t the only one who felt it. That was good, too.He stopped in front of the chair he’d strapped him to and, keeping his tone conversational, said, “I’m going to take off the gag. You can scream if you want to—I’d be surprised if you didn’t—but no one will hear you, and it won’t change how this is going to end. You should know that. Just in case you were hanging onto any hope that you’ll get out of here alive—you won’t” He loosened the gag and pulled it down, so it sat around the man’s neck like a shabby bandana.“W-what d-do you w-want from m-me?” The man stammered over the words, his lips trembling.“Retribution.”“Retribution?” The man shook his head. “F-for what? I-I didn’t d-do anything.”He tied the tourniquet around the man’s upper arm and pulled it tight. “Neither did she.”“I d-don’t—” He held the syringe up to the light and pressed the plunger gently, sending a thin arc of liquid into the air. “No, don’t.” The man tried to pull his arm away as he tapped the bulging veins that stood proud beneath his skin. “Stop, please, please. I-I’ll give you money. I-I’ll do anything you want, please, please don’t.” The man’s voice cracked, the tears rolling from the corners of his eyes as he pleaded for his life.He laid the point of the needle against his arm and, with a little pressure, broke the skin and slid into the vein beyond. His heart raced, so loud in his ears he could barely hear the man beg. And he wanted him to beg. God, he wanted him to beg.“I-I didn’t do anything!”“I know,” he said softly. “That’s why we’re here. Because you didn’t do anything.”“I don’t u-understand.”“You will.”He leaned in and pressed his lips to the man’s ear and pushed on the plunger. The name he whispered as the heroin surged into the man’s blood stream was the last he would ever hear. A name that filled the man’s eyes with a sudden understanding, horror and a strange sort of acceptance. Almost as if he’d known this day would come. He smiled as the man began to slip into unconsciousness. He was right. This day would come. Had come. It would be coming for all of them.
May 25, 2019
GIVEAWAY!!!
I recently had my favourite quote from a movie ever, tattooed on my arm.... "That ain't tactics, honey. That's just the beast in me." Which is from my favourite Elvis movie, Jailhouse Rock.
Leave a comment below, telling me your favourite movie quote and the movie it came from, and I will give away a copy of The Gardener and the Movie Star in the format of your choice, to the first three my glamorous assistant (my 13 year old if I can drag her away from YouTube!) pulls out of the hat! Don't forget to leave your email in the comment.
Happy quoting!

Drew Singer, aka Brock Kipwell, had played Slade Donovan, action hero, for five years. After a shooting at the premiere of his new Slade outing, which resulted in the death of his personal assistant. Drew left L.A. for the little village where he grew up, in North Yorkshire, to nurse his shattered hip and broken heart. All he wanted to do was spend some time with his grandmother shut away from the world. But there was one thing he hadn’t counted on… the presence of his childhood friend, and first love, Cameron McDonald.
Cameron McDonald was Yorkshire born and bred. He still lived and sometimes worked on his parents’ farm, while he ran his own gardening business. Life was plodding along nicely, until he walked into Marty Singer’s kitchen to find she had a new house guest. The two of them had been boyhood friends, best friends, until the final summer when they turned fifteen and they’d become so much more.
Ten years have passed and their attraction to each other is as strong as ever. But Cam is dealing with his troubled friend, Ed’s, problems, and Drew is carrying so much survivor’s guilt he can barely stand the weight of it. Is this their second chance? Will either of them grab it with both hands? Or is there something waiting in the dark that neither of them expected?
Excerpt:
“Cameron David McDonald! If I have to call you one more time, I’m coming up there with a cricket bat to beat you out of that bed!”Cam groaned into his pillow. He really must talk to his mother about her indecisiveness. That was the third time she’d changed the method of how she was going to get him out of his pit. Although the cricket bat did sound preferable to the colonoscopy she’d threatened to give him ten minutes ago. He rolled over onto his back and immediately wished he hadn’t. Sunlight spilled through the gap in the curtains, directly onto his face. He swore through gritted teeth and threw his arm over his eyes before they burned out of his skull. Okay, a little dramatic maybe, but he didn’t really care about opinions on his turn of phrase. He did, however, care about getting his hands on Edward Maybury III, the so-called ‘best friend’ who was responsible for his current tender condition. Maybe he could get his mother to try out her colonoscopy skills on Ed. He smiled inwardly—too afraid to try a real one in case his head exploded—at the thought of his mother, dressed in the head-to-toe hazmat suit she wore for sheep dipping, and Edward Maybury naked on a trolley with a tube up his—“Are you trying to make me kill you?”“Mornin’ Mum,” Cam mumbled.She ignored him completely. Of course, he’d expected nothing less.“That’s it, isn’t it?” she blustered as she stomped around his room. He quickly pulled the duvet over his head, knowing from experience he had nano-seconds before she opened the curtains. “You think I’ve nothing better to do than waste God knows how long in a courtroom, explaining to a bunch of strangers why I beat my only son to death with a copy of Gardeners World!” He didn’t need to come out of his duvet cocoon to know she was now stood at the edge of the bed with her hands on her hips, worrying at her lower lip to stop herself from uttering the profanities queuing up on the tip of her tongue.“Ed made me—”“You’re a little old to be using the “Ed made me do it” excuse, aren’t you?”“But it’s not my—”“You’re twenty-six!” she countered. “Of course, it’s your fault!”“I gotta say, Mum,” Cam said sarcastically. “You know those sensitivity classes you’ve been taking? I’d demand a refund.”“You’re hilarious,” she deadpanned. “Now get up, or you’ll be late.”“Late for what?” Cam was confused. “It’s Sunday.”“I promised Vera Newman you’d put those shelves up in her dining room today. I did tell you three times this week.”“Crap.”“You forgot.” Beatrice shook her head in despair.“I did not forget,” Cam replied, venturing slowly out from under the duvet. He squinted until his eyes had adjusted to the light and blinked a few times to bring his mother into focus. “I temporarily misplaced the information.” If he hadn’t, it would have influenced his response to Ed’s constant whinging that they hadn’t had a lad’s night out for ages.Her lips twitched, and he grinned. Luckily for Cam, Beatrice adored her only son, otherwise she’d have beaten him to death with Gardener’s World long ago. God knows he’d given her enough reasons. Especially during the terrible teenage years.“You stink.” She wrinkled her nose in distaste. “Go on, you lazy sod, get in the shower. If you’re lucky, there might be some breakfast waiting for you when you’re done.”Cam winced as his stomach made its feelings perfectly clear on that subject with a triple somersault and a backwards roll. “I’m never eating again.”“If I had a pound for every Sunday morning I’d heard that….” Beatrice didn’t even bother finishing the sentence. “Now shift.” She padded across the room to the door and opened it, pausing to add with a wicked glint in her eye, “You’ll feel much better with some greasy bacon and a couple of snotty eggs inside ya.”“Ugh,” Cam complained as a wave of nausea washed over him. He glared at Beatrice as she closed the door on her smiling face. “You’re evil,” he shouted. “I’m going to report you to Social Services!”
Her response floated up the stairs. “If I had a pound for every Sunday morning I’d heard that….”
May 24, 2019
THE GARDENER AND THE MOVIE STAR - RELEASE DAY SNEAKY SNIPPET!
Drew Singer, aka Brock Kipwell, had played Slade Donovan, action hero, for five years. After a shooting at the premiere of his new Slade outing, which resulted in the death of his personal assistant. Drew left L.A. for the little village where he grew up, in North Yorkshire, to nurse his shattered hip and broken heart. All he wanted to do was spend some time with his grandmother shut away from the world. But there was one thing he hadn’t counted on… the presence of his childhood friend, and first love, Cameron McDonald.
Cameron McDonald was Yorkshire born and bred. He still lived and sometimes worked on his parents’ farm, while he ran his own gardening business. Life was plodding along nicely, until he walked into Marty Singer’s kitchen to find she had a new house guest. The two of them had been boyhood friends, best friends, until the final summer when they turned fifteen and they’d become so much more.
Ten years have passed and their attraction to each other is as strong as ever. But Cam is dealing with his troubled friend, Ed’s, problems, and Drew is carrying so much survivor’s guilt he can barely stand the weight of it. Is this their second chance? Will either of them grab it with both hands? Or is there something waiting in the dark that neither of them expected?
Excerpt:
Flashbulbs exploded as Brock stepped out onto the red carpet. He stood for a moment, waved to the crowd, then turned and held out his hand to Melanie. The gasp was audible as the fans waited to catch a glimpse of his date, wondering which Hollywood starlet it would be. He almost laughed as the gasp turned into a disappointed groan when Melanie got out of the limo. She schooled her features with a welcoming smile and slipped her hand through the crook of his elbow, guiding him expertly toward the bank of photographers and entertainment reporters, all clamouring for their pound of flesh. He wondered how they’d feel about him tomorrow, after the announcement he planned to make at the press conference after the premiere.“Over here, Brock!”“This way, Brock!”“To me, Brock! To me!”The photographers shouted out his name, their flashes enough to blind him, but he kept his smile plastered firmly on his face as he turned this way and that, the click of camera shutters drowning out everything else around him. Melanie put her hand in the small of his back and leaned in to say something, but he couldn’t hear her. He glanced over his shoulder at her and, as he did, there was a strange stinging sensation across his cheek, as if he’d been slapped. He opened his mouth to say as much to Melanie, but he heard a piercing scream from somewhere in the crowd and turned in its direction, which was when Melanie slumped against him, blood pouring from the hole in her neck, a bewildered expression in her deep blue eyes.“Mel?” Brock held her to him, instinctively pressing his hand to her throat. “Mela—” He didn’t get to finish her name, knocked to the ground by what felt like a punch to the back, Melanie falling from his arms.“He’s hit! Brock’s hit!” The shout echoed in his ears as more gunshots rent the California night.“It’s not me,” Brock tried to yell, but he was already being hauled up the red carpet toward the movie theatre, by two beefy security men, their radios crackling loud static. He slapped at them, calling out Melanie’s name over and over. “Shooter’s down!” suddenly came over the radio. “I repeat, shooter’s down!”The security guard quickly fired back into his own radio, “We need EMT’s, now! We’ve got two casualties, one GSW to the back and one dead.”Dead! Brock’s panic spiralled out of control. He desperately tried to shrug off the hands that held him in a vice-like grip as pain, sudden and white hot seemed to flow through him to converge in his lower back. “Melanie!” he screamed. “Mel—!”
AVAILABLE FROM AMAZON NOW!
May 20, 2019
AVAILABLE FOR PRE-ORDER NOW: THE GARDENER AND THE MOVIE STAR (RELEASE DATE 24/5/19)

Drew Singer, aka Brock Kipwell, had played Slade Donovan, action hero, for five years. After a shooting at the premiere of his new Slade outing, which resulted in the death of his personal assistant. Drew left L.A. for the little village where he grew up, in North Yorkshire, to nurse his shattered hip and broken heart. All he wanted to do was spend some time with his grandmother shut away from the world. But there was one thing he hadn’t counted on… the presence of his childhood friend, and first love, Cameron McDonald.
Cameron McDonald was Yorkshire born and bred. He still lived and sometimes worked on his parents’ farm, while he ran his own gardening business. Life was plodding along nicely, until he walked into Marty Singer’s kitchen to find she had a new house guest. The two of them had been boyhood friends, best friends, until the final summer when they turned fifteen and they’d become so much more.
Ten years have passed and their attraction to each other is as strong as ever. But Cam is dealing with his troubled friend, Ed’s, problems, and Drew is carrying so much survivor’s guilt he can barely stand the weight of it. Is this their second chance? Will either of them grab it with both hands? Or is there something waiting in the dark that neither of them expected?
AVAILABLE PRE-ORDER IN THE U.S. HERE AND IN THE U.K. HERE
AND ON SMASHWORDS HERE