Joseph Mallozzi's Blog, page 98
February 7, 2023
February 7, 2023: Montreal Day #1!
Made it!
Arrived in Montreal this morning. No crowds. No delays. No turbulence. It was smooooooth sailing.
Got in just in time for lunch with sis and mom!
Let the eating begin!
Birthday festivities tomorrow. More eating!
The new Batman movie looks lit AF !
pic.twitter.com/RONvE61mhY
— Joseph Mallozzi
(@BaronDestructo) February 7, 2023
Meanwhile, this twitter thread has garnered a half million views:
The latest scandal to rock Japan centers on an act of "sushi terrorism", so named because it involves video of a teen licking a communal soy sauce bottle, the rim of a tea cup, and a passing order of nigiri at a conveyor belt sushi restaurant. 1/ https://t.co/KJStQnd5il
— Joseph Mallozzi
Today’s Yes/No…
BBQ Fountain? Yes/Nohttps://t.co/z7kZ9LxDhJ
— Joseph Mallozzi
The post February 7, 2023: Montreal Day #1! appeared first on Joseph Mallozzi's Weblog.
February 6, 2023
February 6, 2023: Fear of Flying!
I’m not a great flyer. The night before a flight, I barely get a wink of sleep, and I’m usually up a good hour before my alarm. I’m always at the airport at least an hour before departure and, when I board, I grow increasingly anxious until, by the time plane is heading down the runway, my mind is racing, my palms are sweating, and my heart is jackhammering. When we’re eventually airborne, however, I calm down considerably and remain relatively cool until we make our approach for a landing at which point its mind racing, palms sweating, heart hammering all over again.
Part of it stems from my notorious fear of heights (I even get nervous if someone I know steps out onto our balcony). But a part of it stems from some weird family history.
Back in the days when he was courting my mom, my father would take the roughly one hour flight from Montreal to Toronto. The same time, the same flight – week after week after week. It was an unbroken routine – until the day my father, for whatever reason, missed that familiar flight. And it’s a good thing he did because the one day he broke routine and arrived to the airport late was the day that flight when down, killing everyone on board.
My mother has never forgotten the incident and, every time my sister or I fly, she is always as anxious as we are (because my sister isn’t a particularly good flyer either. Call it genetic.) . And although I’m not one to put much stock on coincidences and strange synchronicities, I have to admit the prospect of a Final Destination-type scenario does find purchase in the back of my mind every single time I fly.
All this to say, I’m heading to Montreal for mom’s birthday tomorrow.
Wish me luck!
Today’s Yes/No…
Calpis Soup? Yes/No
Apparently Calpis is good in soup? We try mixing it in with hot pot【SoraKitchen】 https://t.co/WtOsNCiSmc via @RocketNews24En
— Joseph Mallozzi
The post February 6, 2023: Fear of Flying! appeared first on Joseph Mallozzi's Weblog.
February 5, 2023
February 5, 2023: Suji Sunday!
Dark Matter Dog
Getting ready to put herself out there.
Braving the elements.
Marshmallow Face.
Hanging with dad.
Sheltering in place.
The post February 5, 2023: Suji Sunday! appeared first on Joseph Mallozzi's Weblog.
February 4, 2023
February 4, 2023: The Horror Marathon continues! 5 more bullet reviews!
God’s Crooked Lines (2022)
Follows a woman checking into a psychiatric ward to investigate a homicide.
My thoughts: More thriller than horror. The plot is familiar but it unfolds in a unique and engaging manner. The final twist would have landed harder if not for one perplexing casting decision.
3.5/5
Searching (2018)
After his teenage daughter goes missing, a desperate father tries to find clues on her laptop.
My thoughts: More thriller than horror, and not a particularly good one at that. Annoyingly gimmicky and altogether ridiculous in its final hugely coincidental final reveal.
2/5
Bring Out the Fear (2021)
Explores a doomed relationship on its final day.
My thoughts: Standard scares in this rather unsubtle allegory of unhealthy relationships.
2.5/5
Scare Package (2019)
Chad, the owner of Rad Chad’s Horror Emporium, recounts a series of bone-chilling, blood-splattered tales to illustrate the rules of the horror genre to his newest employee.
My thoughts: As if a local comedy troupe took a weekend to shoot some horror skits.
1.5/5
Sick (2021)
Due to the pandemic, Parker and her best friend decide to quarantine at the family lake house alone – or so they think.
My thoughts: A pandemic horror movie that feels instantly dated. It’s standard slasher fare until its wholly ridiculous “covid” twist.
3/5
Today’s Yes/No…
Chocolate Burger? Yes/No
Thanks(?) to @Thogar for the tip.
I ate Burger King’s new chocolate hamburger so you don’t have to https://t.co/7vReSnEAtV via @Coconuts
— Joseph Mallozzi
The post February 4, 2023: The Horror Marathon continues! 5 more bullet reviews! appeared first on Joseph Mallozzi's Weblog.
February 3, 2023
February 3, 2023: The Horror Marathon continues with 5 more bullet reviews!
Orphan (2009)
A husband and wife who recently lost their baby adopt a 9-year-old girl who is not nearly as innocent as she appears.
My thoughts: A well-crafted take on the Bad Seed premise with one of the wildest twists in horror history. Great.
4/5
Horror Stories (2012)
An anthology horror movie that tells the tale of a teenager (Ji_Won Kim) who is abducted and forced to tell the scariest tales she knows.
My thoughts: An enjoyable collection of macabre tales that perhaps make too frequent use of the “That was just a dream!” fake-out.
3.5/5
Triangle (2009)
Five friends set sail and their yacht is overturned by a strange and sudden storm. A mysterious ship arrives to rescue them, and what happens next cannot be explained.
My thoughts: What at first blush seems like a clever time-loop thriller is, upon closer scrutiny, a nonsensical mess.
2.5/5
Le Calendrier/The Advent Calendar (2021)
Eva is a paraplegic. On her birthday, her friend gives her a strange Advent calendar. It’s not the traditional treats you find when you open each drawer, but quirky gifts that are scary and get bloodier.
My thoughts: Great set-up and a terrific ending, but everything in between is underwhelming.
3/5
Immersion (2021)
Ricardo has taken his daughters to their home by a lake in southern Chile. While out sailing, they spot a sinking boat but he refuses to help the people because they look suspicious.
My thoughts: Director Nic Postiglione does a wonderful job building the tension, backed by an exceptionally foreboding score, only to settle on an ending that is too pat and obvious. Still, the journey there is a nail biter.
3.5/5
Today’s Yes/No…
Cheeseburger Geländes? Yes/No
Burger King Japan’s Cheeseburger Gelände — exceptional in taste, size and… paper napkins? https://t.co/7NW3nrkIw1 via @RocketNews24En
— Joseph Mallozzi
The post February 3, 2023: The Horror Marathon continues with 5 more bullet reviews! appeared first on Joseph Mallozzi's Weblog.
February 2, 2023
February 2, 2023: This and That!
Outrageous! Netflix has just introduced their new anti-password sharing plan. Every 31 days, subscribers must present themselves at their local Netflix office, personally log into their device, and watch a full episode of Emily in Paris. pic.twitter.com/MhB1cdmU9j
— Joseph Mallozzi
Netflix tries to woo you back by offering to un-cancel ONE series (but not Dark Matter or Stargate, because that would be too obvious). Which series are you resurrecting? P.S. Doesn’t have to be a Netflix show.
Also, few appreciate the feel-good story of Tantalus who, doomed to stand in a pool whose waters recede whenever he tries to take a drink, and beneath a fruit tree whose lower branches elude him, discovers the benefits of self-restraint and intermittent fasting. #Sisyphus https://t.co/IsqZlIe9Ut
— Joseph Mallozzi
The tale of Prometheus also impresses upon us the blessings to be found in shifting one’s focus from modern technology to the beauty of solitary introspection, nature, and birds.
Hey, @JamesGunn. I want in! pic.twitter.com/k3s9cpnnZI
— Joseph Mallozzi
I can’t believe they’re doing a Booster Gold t.v. series and haven’t called me yet!
— Joseph Mallozzi
A good honey cruller is impossible to beat.
When it comes to the markets, no one can predict what will happen, but everyone will explain WHY it happened.
— Joseph Mallozzi
Every damn time.
Today’s Yes/No…
Ebiten tempura shrimp rice ball? Yes/No
7-Eleven’s new Ebiten tempura shrimp rice ball is premium in both taste AND cost https://t.co/9oRQivKFay via @RocketNews24En
— Joseph Mallozzi
Out for dinner tonight with my friend and fellow writer/producer Alex Levine. The topic of conversation tonight will be anything BUT the t.v. industry because it just makes me alternately angry and depressed. Instead, our focus will be on the bacon and tongue pizza!
The post February 2, 2023: This and That! appeared first on Joseph Mallozzi's Weblog.
February 1, 2023
February 1, 2023: Amazing Covers!
Venom #16 – cover art by Chris Bachalo
Wakanda #5 – cover art by Mateus Manhanini
Immortal Red Sonja #10 – cover art by Joseph Michael Linsner
Batman: Legends of Gotham #1 – cover art by Nathan Szerdy
The Phoenix Files #1 – cover art by Keith Garvey
The Flash: One-Minute War Special #1 – cover art by Sergio Acuna
So, which were YOUR favorites?
The post February 1, 2023: Amazing Covers! appeared first on Joseph Mallozzi's Weblog.
January 31, 2023
January 31, 2023: Lunch with Steadmuffin!
Lunch today with director/stunt coordinator John Stead at Cote de Boeuf!
I asked him if he wanted to do the steak tartare and he politely declined, but ultimately came around and promised to try some. In the end, he ended up “trying” about half.
The charcuterie board came highly recommended. I thought the cheese selection okay. The meats, on the other hand, were great, especially the capocollo, a cold cut which I’ve really grown to re-appreciate over recent years.
John Stead presents…the burger! Char-crusted exterior and medium to medium-rare interior. Delicious.
And finally, desserts! John had a hankering for the creme brulee. I, of course, went with the chocolate mousse.
Great seeing my old friend. Hopefully, it won’t be another month and a half before our next burger get-together.
Today’s Yes/No…
Horseradish Vodka? Yes/No
Thanks(?) to @thogar for the tip.
Detroit City Distillery launches horseradish vodka: How to buy it https://t.co/HXLyHvLzI5 via @freep
— Joseph Mallozzi
A few zoom meetings this week to discuss a recent pilot I wrote that has garnered interest from a few production companies. Decisions decisions…
The post January 31, 2023: Lunch with Steadmuffin! appeared first on Joseph Mallozzi's Weblog.
January 30, 2023
January 30, 2023: Stargate SG-1 Season 5 concept art and episode insights!
The Tomb…
The set for this episode was impressive as hell and, to this day, I regret not having helped myself to a faux stone before the whole thing was torn down. One of the critiques directed at this episode was Jack’s old world Cold War mentality directed at the Russian team. This kind of mystified me because it was pretty clear in the episode that Jack didn’t have a problem with them because they were Russian, he had a problem with them because they were operating under secret orders that seemed to run counter to SG-1’s mission. The fact that they were Russian was beside the point.
Between Two Fires…
Man, this one had all sorts of problems at the outline stage, so much so that it earned the nickname “Between Two Acts”. Once the structural problems had been addressed, Ron wrote and delivered a first draft of the script. I remember we were sitting in Rob’s office, giving copious notes, when John Lenic’s dog hopped up onto the couch and relieved himself on a copy of Ron’s script. “That dog pissed on my script!”said Ron. To which Brad replied something the lines of: “He wasn’t the only one.”. Anyway, in the end, the script came together – as did the episode which we wound up shooting on the grounds of Simon Fraiser University.
2001…
The sequel to season four’s 2010 sees the calculating race known as the Aschen make their first (chronological) appearance as seemingly genial, albeit suspicious, emissaries looking to forge a new intergalactic alliance. The episode ends with one major story point unresolved. What of Ambassador Joe Faxon? I’m sure we would have received the answer to that question had the third part of this planned trilogy seen the light of a t.v. screen. In part three, Brad imagined the remnants of the Aschen race, seeking revenge for the events of 2001, launching a ship-based attack on Earth. Alas, I don’t recall why the story never came to fruition, but I have no doubt it would’ve been great.
Desperate Measures…
No concept art 
A couple of things stand out for me about this episode. The first was that ridiculously long search sequence near episode’s end that included endless shots of Teal’c and Daniel going up and down stairs. Yes, the episode was short! Another thing was a slight dialogue change in O’Neill’s scene with the homeless man. In the original version, O’Neill says “Yeah, and I’ve got a closet full of Playboys…”, but after some consideration (aka – getting a note requesting we change it), we elected to go with “National Geographics” instead which, while less Jack O’Neill, was certainly more Richard Dean Anderson. Also the original draft of the script had a couple of very funny exchanges between the doctors who perform the procedure but after further consideration (aka – we received a note that O’Neill provided more than enough comedy for the episode and we didn’t need the guest stars delivering as well) we decided to love them.
Wormhole X-Treme…
Oh, boy, where to begin? Over the years, I’ve referenced the multitude of in-jokes in this episodes, from the red spray-painted kiwis (a dig at Director Peter DeLuise who used those very alien-looking fruit in Beneath the Surface) to Hank Cohen’s cameo as a studio executive who suggests the show needs “You know what this show needs is a sexy female alien.” (art imitating life). There’s our faux t.v. hero trying to negotiate a veritable minefield of corpses (a call back to The Fifth Man), someone ridiculing the one shot stuns, two shots kills, three shots disintegrates abilities of the alien weapon (Hello, zat guns), further ridiculing of doing an episode involving “out of phase” physics (we did plenty), another character’s assertion that they’ll surely win an Emmy…for visual effects (the best any scifi show can hope for), and much, much more. The part of Grell, the Teal’c clone, was actually played by Chris Judge’s stand-in, Herbert, while the episode offered a host of cameos from behind-the-scenes personnel including a much heavier yours truly who demands to know “Hey, what happened to all the doughnuts?!”. I recall Director Peter DeLuise making me do three takes, directing me: “You’re hungry! You want some doughnuts! But there are none! You’re really hungry!” then “No doughnuts and you’re REALLY hungry!” and then: “Okay! REALLY HUNGRY!”. The day that scene was shot, I found my wardrobe awaiting me in the office: a lime green shirt and a pair of atrocious lime green plants. I wore the shirt but passed on the pants. Apparently, our Costume Designer did not take the news well. “Writers,”she apparently muttered with a roll of her eyes.
I would love to dig up the outtakes and extra footage on this one. One scene that ended up on the cutting room floor involved the character of Teal’c. SG-1 and Hammond are watching the Wormhole Xtreme trailer at which point we do a PAN OFF the screen, across the briefing room table to Teal’c laughing uproariously and enjoying the hell out of the show – much to the bewilderment of his fellow team members.
Proving Ground…
No concept art
Some episodes you hate at the pitch stage but end up warming up once the story has been broken. Others, you hate at the outline stage but end up actually liking once the script comes in. Still others, you may hate at the script stage but love once the episode is completed. This is one of those rare episodes that I took issue with from start to finish and, to this day, ranks as one of my least favorites. Why? Because it’s not about our characters. That and the all-too predictable late twist that anyone who has ever watched television before will see coming a mile off. On the other hand, the episode was notable for an appearance by a then relatively unknown Grace Park as one of the young cadets.
48 Hours…
No concept art
The working title for this episode was Teal’c Interrupted, but later changed to 48 Hours. I was extremely disappointed. I figured, hey, if you can call an episode Watergate, you should be able to call another one Teal’c Interrupted! The episode kicks off with the shocking death of Tanith, shocking insofar as he was a mid-major villain who suddenly and all too quickly buys it in spectacularly unspectacular fashion. From what I recall, we were unable to reach a deal with the actor on another episode and, rather than leave the character dangling, elected to write him out instead. This episode also saw the introduction of one Dr. Rodney McKay (“Rodney?”I remember asking Rob at the time. “Is that the name you want to go with?”), an insufferable ass who, over the course of the franchise’s run, ended up redeeming himself in surprising fashion.
Today’s Yes/No…
Matcha Chocolate Salami? Yes/No https://t.co/g4pUVi9xJd
— Joseph Mallozzi
The post January 30, 2023: Stargate SG-1 Season 5 concept art and episode insights! appeared first on Joseph Mallozzi's Weblog.
January 29, 2023
January 29, 2023: Suji Sunday!
Braving the elements.
The old gang: Bubba, Petunia, and Lulu.
All nestled in.
Marvel Team-Up #11: Suji and MODOK
Out and about with my gal.
The post January 29, 2023: Suji Sunday! appeared first on Joseph Mallozzi's Weblog.
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