Joseph Mallozzi's Blog, page 527

August 21, 2011: Daredevil Eats at the CNE! The Return of the Weird Food Purchase of the Day!

Today, we hit the CNE (Canadian National Exhibit).  My goal: to eat as much crap as possible.  And, I'm pleased to report, this mission was a huge success…

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My back-up on this day: Akemi, Carl, and Karen. They were on hand to eat what I couldn't finish and, if need be, call an ambulance on my behalf.

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Akemi foolishly filling up on healthy calories.

Carl's "Your gonna eat what?!" look.

We arrived a little before 1:00 p.m. and ignored the solitary concessions, games, and rides, heading straight for the giant food court.  I was on a mission…

We arrive at Food Central. Let the games begin!

Hmmm. Decisions, decisions. Everything looks so not good...

Finally, we find what I'm looking for – my reason for making this trip…

The Luthor! A cheeseburger topped with lettuce, tomato, bacon, and a fried egg sandwiched between two Krispy Kreme doughnuts. And only 1500 calories.

So, how was it?

Carl was NOT a fan of the sweet doughnut/burger combination but I thought it worked just fine.  It was actually the fried egg I had a problem with.

Anyway, with the Luthor under my belt, I was free to adopt a more scattershot approach to my menu selections.  Next up was some not bad deep-fried chocolate fudge (see tomorrow's entry for the video) followed by…

Deep-fried mac 'n cheese curds.

While everyone else was taking a breather, I swung by another booth and picked up a medley of treats…

From bottom left clockwise: deep fried Jo Louis, deep fried Mars Bar, and deep fried Twinkie.

Rather than go with the deep fried pickle, Akemi elected to go with plain old plain. Crazy, no?

We intended to head back only discover it was pouring rain outside.  So headed back inside and killed time by walking around – and eating some more.  I sampled some deep-fried coca cola (I believe they deep-fried the syrup and the result resembled a brown funnel cake).  I also picked up some wings at this place that offered choices ranging from mild to suicide.  When I ordered the suicide, the girls at the counter chuckled.  They told me it was because the suicide was insanely hot but I suspect it was actually because they knew I'd be disappointed by their weak kick.

Lonely boy eating his wings.

At this point, Akemi began to fear for my life and suggested it was time to go.  It had stopped raining so we headed out.  Along the way, we happened by a few more concessions…

Hot waffle ice cream sandwich.

We were almost at the exit when THIS caught my eye.

 How the hell do you deep fry butter?  Well, I'm glad you asked!

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First you take the butter...

Then you dip them in batter...

Then, fry 'em up...

Top with various syrups and serve. Bon Appetit!

And that was it!  Oh, except for this -

Deep fried cherry aid.

Okay.  At this point, I started feeling a little dizzy, no doubt a result of the drop in barometric pressure.  So we decided to call it a day.

Homeward bound!

Carl and Karen will no doubt be back next weekend.

All in all, a truly memorable outing.

I was so full that I figured I wouldn't eat until breakfast tomorrow.

But got hungry at around 7:00 p.m. and cooked up some insanely hot peppers and scallops.  Fortunately, I was able to cool down with some Haagen Dazs vanilla ice cream.

Needless to say, I fully expect NOT to sleep comfortably through the night.

Tomorrow, I try to tackle the mailbag!

August 20, 2011: I've got this song stuck in my head…either that or it's an earworm!

On the nutritional benefits of fish: "The tail is good for you can run fast.  The head is good for your brain.  The eyes are good for you eyes.  Your eyes are getting bad so you should eat eyes."  - Akemi, August 20 2011.

I had a song stuck in my head all day today.

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I suppose it's only fitting given that, in the episode, Spongebob is infected by an earworm that burrows into his brain and "addicts" him to this catchy tune. Well, the song, Musical Doodle by The Sonars, IS catchy.  So catchy, in fact, that I feared I'D been infected by the earworm.  I found myself humming it all day – until I finally looked the lyrics up online and actually started singing:

"Round and round the record spins all day.

Listen again it takes you far away.

Trying to stop it is futile.

So just listen now to my musical doodle!

Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo."

Etc.

Sadly, the song is unavailable for download on iTunes.  What's with that?!

Anyway, if you were foolish enough to listen to the tune, you've no doubt become infected by now as well.  Sorry about that.  There's nothing you can do now but spread the joy.  Indoctrinate your friends and family to the Musical Doodle masses!

Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo!

So I was driving to work the other day and noticed I was driving behind this truck -

Note the plate!  Mere coincidence?  I don't think so!

Tomorrow, Akemi, Carl, Karen (and possibly Alexander and Sarah) and I will be going to the CNE (Canadian National Exhibit) NOT to check out the shows or the concerts, the rides or events – but to sample some of the weirdest culinary treats this side of the southern U.S.  Among the items I'm looking forward to trying tomorrow: deep fried vanilla fudge on a stick, deep fried mac and cheese, whipped sweet butter deep fried in funnel cake batter, and something called The Luthor – a cheeseburger with two glazed Krispy Kreme doughnuts in place of the mundane traditional bun.  Kind of reminds me of the time I sampled "the triple down": https://josephmallozzi.wordpress.com/2010/10/22/october-22nd-the-return-of-the-weird-food-purchase-of-the-day-a-little-something-i-like-to-call-the-triple-down-and-another-au-revoir/

Yep, The Weird Food Purchase of the Day returns in fine fashion.  And, to whet your appetite check out the links to some previous Weird Food Purchase of the Day Installments:

Carl and I sample Naga Bhut Jolokia Pepper: https://josephmallozzi.wordpress.com/2009/10/22/october-22-2009-julia-benson-jennifer-spence-birthday-swag-the-weird-food-purchase-of-the-day/

Squid sauce: https://josephmallozzi.wordpress.com/2009/01/04/january-4-2009-a-guest-blogger-announcement-and-the-most-horrific-weird-food-purchase-of-the-day-yet/

Japanese ice creams: https://josephmallozzi.wordpress.com/2008/11/26/november-26-2008-tokyo-trip-day-4-kaiseki-feast-porking-out-sweets-and-such-and-the-weird-food-purchase-of-the-day-japanese-ice-cream-edition/

Canned cod liver: https://josephmallozzi.wordpress.com/2008/08/16/august-16-2008-a-strategic-dinner-some-25-cent-porn-and-the-weird-food-purchase-of-the-day/

And a weird medicinal purchase of the day: https://josephmallozzi.wordpress.com/2008/08/20/august-20-2008-production-update-more-guest-announcements-and-the-weird-foodmedicinal-purchase-of-the-day/

August 19, 2011: Shit My Japanese Girlfriend Says!

"Truffles taste like old man's pillow." – Akemi, August 19 2011.

I'm thinking of starting a twitter account called "Shit My Japanese Girlfriend Says".  Seriously.  Akemi is a seemingly endless reservoir of curious comments and comical expressions that I feel must be noted in some semi-official capacity.  And so – provided I remember – I'm going to start chronicling her most memorable turns of phrase and unique insights here on this blog.  And, boy, there've been some doozies to date.  Yep.  As Akemi would say: "Jesus Crisis!".

On the Transporter front – we keep taking days out of the present shooting schedule and, as a result: a) I not only lose prep days but 2) the start date for my upcoming episode block keeps getting pulled up.  Anymore dropped scenes and I'll have to start shooting Sharks and Payback last Thursday!  Today, I put out another Dieter scene to accompany the one yet to be shot for #102.  I also, put out a revised draft of #103 (Sharks) – only to receive notes mere moments after the latest version came out.  This weekend, I start revising Payback but, once that's out, I'm sure it'll be smooooooooooth sailing.

A somewhat discouraging call from the radiation oncologist at the small animal clinic where Maximus has been receiving treatment.  A sample of a swollen lymph node came back "suspicious", so they're going to have to start treating that area as well.  If the little guy's lymph nodes have been compromised, he's going to need those nutritional supplements more than ever – but he refuses to eat them, preferring to stick with his all chicken breast diet instead.

The oldsters (Maximus and Jelly) soak up the sun.

Finally, let me leave you with a pic of Akemi's most recent Breakfast Bento Box creation.  She claims it's "Elmo's friend"…

Bert?

G'night.  Keep up the good work!

August 18, 2011: Maximus's Radioactive Roadtrip II! Carl's Belated Birthday Dinner!

Early this morning, we were back at the University of Guelph for Maximus's 2nd (of 5) radiation treatments.  Like the last time, it involved sedating Max and then targeting the tumor on the inside of his right cheek with an intense burst of radiation aimed at reducing the mass.  Every second week, he also receives what is called an "anti-cancer vaccine" designed to stop the spread of the highly aggressive melanoma.

Maximus - at this point, he has no idea what he's getting into.

Maximus - at this point, he realizes. Bummed.

As usual, we had to escort him in because he wouldn't have gone willingly otherwise.  And, as usual, he cowered in a corner, trembling, until one of the staff members scooped him up and carried him off.  And, again, as usual, I felt terrible because he kept looking up at me with those huge pleading eyes, no doubt wondering what he'd done to deserve this.

We killed time on this trip by heading over to one of the big malls.  There I ate a gyro, perused some remaindered dvd's, and accompanied Akemi on a stroll through a hat shop.  Time flies when you're having… Well, time flies anyway.

Eventually, we headed back to the hospital where we found Maximus waiting for us – upbeat and happier than he's been in weeks.  The mere sight of us had him scurrying about, tail wagging, barking excitedly.  I can only assume the doctor had informed him of the good news prior to our arrival.  Apparently, the radiation is having the desired effect and the tumor is shrinking.  A hopeful sign.

Maximus celebrates the good news!

Things have been so busy of late that I've neglected aspects of my life I'd once held dear: cooking, reading, and, most perhaps most importantly, my buddy Carl Binder.  Turns out I missed his birthday last week.  Fortunately, a friend was quick to remind me of the forgotten special occasion.  That friend being one Carl Binder.  And so, last night, we go together for a rare double date: Carl and Karen, Akemi and I.

Before heading out, Akemi preps Carl's present.

While waiting for Carl and Karen to show, Akemi and I pose for a pic.

Karen and Carl.

Yeah, that' s more like it.

Carl and his birthday present.

A handmade birthday card! How thoughtful. And Akemi made this one all by herself without the help of an assistant.

The cover. Me, of course, front and center. Flip the birthday heart to reveal a picture of Ashleigh.

The inside. Japanese style pose from Carl along with his birthdate and, naturally, a picture of Greedo from Star Wars. Above a photo of Carl surrounded by his friends (a seamless bit of photoshop places me there as well) accompanies the heartfelt message: "We like you Carl. Please live longer."

No doubt inspired by Trevor's birthday trademark, Akemi comes up with her own personalized version.

And, in addition to the card, yet another thoughtful gift. I hope he doesn't already have one.

We had dinner at Bier Markt. As I suspected he would, Carl loved it (although he did complain about the three block walk - this from a guy who supposedly runs marathons). We started with the house poutine and a wurst platter. Good eatin'.

Carl is delighted with his main: schnitzel! How prescient of Akemi.

For dessert, I went with the Belgian waffles and ice cream (two scoops). The dish of the night!

Our evening ended with Akemi knocking over and breaking a wine glass.  Mortified, she apologized profusely to the waitress, then turned to us and uttering the line of the night: "We go now".

And we did.

The end to yet another memorable night in Toronto.

Thanks to everyone who has weighed in with their thoughts on the perfect douchebag car.  In answer to your question, sparrow_hawk, I do not drive a high-end black SUV.  I drive a high-end silver SUV only because I'm too lazy to keep a black one clean.  And, for your information, I chose an SUV for decidedly non-douchebaggy reasons: to shuttle my dogs to and from daycare, and to outmuscle assholes in smaller cars.

August 17, 2011: Laisse les bon temps rouler!

There's excitement in the air!

Busy, busy, busy prepping the next shooting block (episodes #103, Sharks, and #106, Payback) for The Transporter's first season.  Have been hopping between meetings and my laptop, trying to get everything in order in advance of our August 31st start of production date.  "But wait!"none of you are no doubt thinking.  "Weren't you supposed to start production on your block September 1st?".  Well, yes.  Thanks for not noticing.  We were originally scheduled to start shooting on the Friday but are pulling up three days to help rejig and juggle some scheduling issues on the block presently shooting (episodes #104, Harvest, and #105, The Switch, directed by Andy Mikita).

We've got locations searching for French motorways, casting seeking out Devon's, Sergei's, and creepy tailors, and transport trying to track down the perfect douchebag car (any suggestions?).  Just finished up my most recent (I dare not say "last") pass on Sharks and included a couple of scenes with "the mystery man".  Next up, my next (certainly not "last") pass on Payback and then it'll be smooooooooooooth sailing.

Alexander - the calm before the storm.

Card-maker extraordinaire Trevor Finn and M6's Julien DeWolf offer constructive feedback on my latest idea.

This week, we've been graced by the presence of the ever-affable Julie DeWolf from our French broadcasting partner M6.  Always a pleasure to have him swing by and chat.  Smart, friendly, and a Stargate fan to boot!  His notes are always interesting because, in addition to outlining any issues he may have with the script, he also takes the time to make mention of the things he actually liked!  Wild!

Julien DeWolf!

August 16, 2011: Missing my routine!

I'm a creature of habit.   There's nothing I enjoy more than the comfort and familiarity of routine.  Back when I was in Vancouver, working on the well-oiled machine that was the Stargate franchise, I lived a fairly structured existence.  Here in Toronto, it's somewhat different.  Working on this first year production of Transporter, my schedule is now a little more…frenetic. As a result, it's been very difficult to establish any sort of routine.

I miss many of the things I used to do; many of the things I used to have time for.  Among them…

COOKING

I used to eat out all the time.  And when I say "all the time", I do mean ALL THE TIME – every meal of every single day.  But when my home life changed several years ago, I began to explore my culinary side – shopping for fresh produce at my local market, seeking out inspiring recipes, and endlessly tweaking preparations in my quest for a go-to list of favorite dishes.  In time, I perfected such plates as my port-braised short ribs, chicken breasts with morels and Metaxa cream, sweet potato chipotle pie, and caramel popcorn ice cream.  Unfortunately, since moving to T.O., my cooking opportunities have been few and far between.  By the time I roll in from work, Akemi (bless her heart) already has dinner on the table – and come the weekends, the last thing I want to do is spend 3-4 hours preparing a meal.

WORKING OUT

Back in Vancouver, I used to schedule two-a-days – one work-out in the morning, and another at night.  I didn't always get around to doing both, but I could always feel good about getting at least one under my belt.  In the a.m., it was cardio; in the p.m., weights.  Here in Toronto, it's a lot of neither.  I wake up already tired and the last thing I want to do is work out first thing in the morning.  Working out at night is doubly difficult because, not only am I still exhausted, but the gym in our apartment building closes at an all-too-early 8:00 p.m., which barely gives me time to digest dinner before hitting the treadmill.

SOCIALIZING

I mean, sure, I still socialize, but not to the extent I used to back in Vancouver where my circle of friends was much wider and my knowledge of the local restaurant scene much wider.  And there's also the fact that, for the first time in several years, I failed to host my annual chocolate party.

READING

Damn.  I used to average two books a week, setting aside a couple of hours every night before bedtime to hit the stack of paperbacks sitting on my nightstand.  I was a voracious reader.   Now, my reading is limited to online news, the occasional trade paperback, and scripts.

LAUNDRY

I include this one at Akemi's request.  Apparently, back in Vancouver, I was a veritable laundry-demon, washing and drying clothes as fast as they could be worn and shed.  Here in Toronto, Akemi has assumed laundry duties.

No doubt feeling outdone by Carl's wife's, Karen (see yesterday's blog entry), this morning, Akemi sent me off with another bento breakfast creation…

I think it's a bird?

August 15, 2011: Bento Breakfast Binder-Style! Co-workers! A Familiar Guest Star! The Maximus Update!

Akemi occasionally sends me off to work with some pretty amazing breakfasts – tasty and artistically elaborate bento creations that are, apparently, all the rage back in Japan.  I've posted pics of these edible masterpieces in recent months…

Well, not to be outdone, Carl's wife, Karen, sent him off with his own bento box creation this morning.  It was truly a sight to behold.

Properly labeled lest someone else try to lay claim to it.

A trip to the local supermarket yields great deals in the remainder aisle.

Sausage and cereal. A meal fit for a king!

And the main course: Bagel. Lovingly toasted no less!

Carl delights in his Far East feast!

Back at it today with not one but TWO concept meetings, the first for episode #103 (Sharks) and the second for episode #106 (Payback).  We'll be block shooting them in September (or perhaps earlier if we're unable to locate corroborative visual evidence of graffiti in Marseilles) and I for one can't wait.  Mainly because it'll be a month from now.  Also, will get to work with the fabulous Bruce McDonald, Director par excellence.

Some more of the people I enjoy working with on Transporter…

VFX Supervisor Brendan Taylor. You may know him from Hanna, Resident Evil Afterlife/Extinction, Silent Hill, and previous pictures of him on this blog.

Michael and Sarah practice their steely staredowns. Them's some pretty good steely staredowns!

And, someone I'm soon to be working with (as a guest star in episode #105 – Harvest), for the fourth show in a row…

The incredible Mike Dopud. Check out the guns, ladies.

A bit of a rough day for Maximus.  Akemi reports he was very slow on his walk and seemed quite sore.  Now, when he sleeps, he seems to be more comfortable resting his chin on something.  Last night, it was a towel.  Today, it's the new doggy bed I picked up for him.

Comfy!

Hey, Deni – best wishes to Elway!

Today's blog entry is dedicated to Carl Binder who crossed great distances and made many sacrifices to ride to our rescue!

August 14, 2011: Laws of Attraction!

For some reason, drunks flock to my french bulldog, Lulu, as if she were a kiosk dispensing wine samples at  an all-night liquor store.  If we're out on a walk and there's a drunk within staggering distance, guaranteed he'll find his way to her, cooing, occasionally crying, invariably getting down on the ground the better to shower her with affection. Akemi is always horrified but, for her part, Lulu seems to really enjoy the attention, encouraging it by running through her routine of adorable antics including – but not limited to: the sit and stare, the stretch and yawn, the bat and bark, and, when all else fails, she'll just crawl around on her stomach until someone notices.  So it was today when, in the midst of a sidewalk conversation with Martin Gero, three inebriated fellows, obviously fresh from afternoon cocktails in the park, descended upon us.  At first, I thought they were looking for spare change but it become instantly apparent that they weren't interested in us.  They only had eyes for Lulu.  And, after some fifteen minutes of cuddles and cackles, they picked themselves up and continued on their winding way – much to Lulu's disappointment.

In similar fashion, Jelly always seems to draw the attention of elderly ladies who will always take the time to stop, inquire as to why I'm carrying her  ("Bad hips.  Oh, I know what THAT'S like!"), and then offer her a pat and a few words of encouragement before heading off.

Maximus, bless his heart, is a magnet for cute Japanese girls.  There's just something about his rugged good looks and easy-going manner that has made him an irresistible to them ever since he was a puppy.

Sadly, the only thing Bubba attracts with any consistency is the amorous advances of much larger dogs.

And they freak him out.

August 13, 2011: A Quaint Southern Saying!

There's an old Southern saying that goes: "Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's raining.".  I remember hearing it ages ago and not thinking much of it at the time – but over the course of this past week, I've been thinking about it.  A lot.

I'm a pretty reasonable guy.  Most people who know me will tell you as much.  I treat people with respect and expect the same in return.  I'm not confrontational, preferring to settle disagreements in a mature and courteous manner.  All in all, fairly amiable and even-keeled.  However, certain things do set me off: 1. non-stick rice, 2. Toronto traffic, and 3. people who treat me like I'm an idiot in the mistaken assumption that my reasonable, respectful, mature, courteous, amiable, and even-keeled nature will prevent me from losing my shit.

If these past few months have taught me anything, it's that life's too short.

So, screw it.

Enjoy the dog pics…

 

August 12, 2011: Work! A surprise guest! And more Maximus!

Despite the fact that I was only on set three days this week, I'm more exhausted today than I have been all year.  Yep, one of those weeks.  Expect to have a lot more of these between now and the end of November…

I thought it was something from props. Turns out it's an energy drink.

Apparently, we're not the only kids on this block.

Look at what I'm missing on set. Tara's houndstooth nails. That and the 11:00 p.m. wrap.

The Germans.

Carl having the time of his life.

Today, we were paid a visit by surprise guest…

Brad Wright was in town for all of one day. He's got some projects in the works and will be back in September.

A usually voracious eater, Maximus turned his nose up at breakfast this morning.  I believe it had to do with all of the supplements mixed into his meal (a little over a dozen).  We scaled down his meds to his pain medication and antibiotics and his appetite magically returned.

Maximus. And his eyeballs.

According to Akemi, he slowed down a couple of times during his walk today.  She had to pick him up and carry him part of the way – and only part of the way because she had a hard time lugging the little porker.