Joseph Mallozzi's Blog, page 281

April 5, 2018: Home Shift!

Well, that was…unexpected.

We put in an offer on one of the condos we visited and received a counter.  As we were preparing to counter their counter (because, if six seasons of Million Dollar Listing New York has taught me anything, it’s that no one ever starts with their best and final offer at the risk of robbing negotiations of all the fun and drama), the seller’s agent contacted our agent to inform him his client wasn’t going to agree to anything below an overpriced drop dead number.  However, my agent suggested that, for formality’s sake, we counter with our best and final.  So we did.  And were told by the seller’s agent that it wasn’t going to happen, that the seller was perfectly willing to test the market for a while longer.  Cue…

Stressing?  Obsessing?  Reassessing?  Nah.  I immediately switched gears and started thinking about that second condo and where I would put my new treadmill.  Then, I receive a text from my agent who had received a text from the seller’s agent informing him that if I was willing to come up to just $5000 off the seller’s drop dead price, they would find a way to make it work.  Cue…

Elation?  Celebration?  Reconsideration?  Nah.  So immersed was I in imagining our new lives in that second condo that I neglected to even respond.

Then, thirty minutes later, I received word that our counter had been accepted and congratulations.  Cue…

Excitement?  Amazement?  Contentment?  Nah.  More…

Ambivalence.  It’s a beautiful place, nowhere near as pricey as the second condo, but now I have to move.  Again.  And next to driving around looking for parking or visiting Home Depot, I can’t think of anything I’d rather not do.

Fortunately, my good friend Ivon lives only three floors down and will, no doubt, be more than happy to shoulder the heavier carries on account of my delicate back.

Akemi, meanwhile, well, she’s already started opining, outlining, and interior designing.

I’m just going to try to stay out of her way.

April 4, 2018: Best Comic Book Covers of the Week!

These were the ones that caught my eye…

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The Amazing Spiderman #798 (cover art by Alex Ross)

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Avengers #687 (cover art by Mark Brooks)

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Black Bolt #12 (cover art by Christian Ward)

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Eternity (cover art by Jelena Kevic-Djurdjevic)

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Norah #3 (cover art by Jordan Westlake)

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Paradox Girl #6 (cover art by Yishan Li)

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Redlands vol. 1 (cover art by Vanesa R. Del Ray)

Weigh in with your favorites!

April 3, 2018: Things seem to be coming together. SEEM to be coming together.

“Oh!”said Akemi, throwing her hands up to cover her face as though trying to avoid some terrible sight, this just five minutes into my pitch.  “I don’t think I can watch your new show.”

In all fairness, it’s technically not my new show.  Yet.  But if I were a betting man, I’d put money on my next series being a horror entry.  No less than three of the projects currently on my docket are in the horror genre and two look precariously poised to get the go-ahead in the month of April.

Of course, that’s what I thought some three and a half years ago when I was preparing to get the green light on another project, a seeming sure thing, that quickly fizzled and faded just as another seemingly dead project, a sci-fi series called Dark Matter, go the surprise go.  There’s no predicting this business.  Still, if I were a betting man, chances are good I’ll be delving into the macabre in a few short months.

The timing is perfect as the lease on our apartment ends June 1st and it would be nice to know where I’ll be living for the rest of the year.  Could be Toronto or, depending on circumstances, could be further east.  Not quite the middle of the Atlantis, but pretty close.

Anyway, we’ve continued the hunt for a new place and have narrowed the possibilities down to two lovely condos.  The first is smaller, part of a bigger building, situated directly across from a dog park and three floors above my good friend Ivon (who we can now rely on for emergency grocery items and dog-sitting services).  Also, it has a narrow balcony that I will never step out onto.  The second place is almost twice the size, significantly more expensive, and is a second floor condo in a boutique building hosting eleven units in all.  No concierge and the maintenance fees are ridiculous but the wrap-around terrace is pretty sweet and with a professional cleaning and some painting, it would be killer.  Akemi leans towards the first, more modest, unit.  I, of course, prefer the second.  OR we just bite the bullet and renew our lease here for another year.  OR we put all our stuff in storage and move (further) east to work on this other project for the foreseeable future.  Who knows?

Tomorrow, it’s lunch with a young talented writer, then work on that SF pitch I’ve reworked what feels like a dozen times now.  I’m feeling good about this latest take.  About as good as I felt about the other eleven.  Then, Thursday, I’m off to pitch some original material.  According to my agent “They’re looking for a space show”.  I was extremely dubious: “There’s no way they’re looking for a space show.”  “Yes,”he insisted.  “A space show.”  So, I’m going to go in there and lead with a space show – and if they tell me they’re not looking for space shows, I’ll be having a long and involved discussion with my agent later that afternoon.  The BIG pitch (for that OTHER horror series) is Monday.  Wish me luck!

April 2, 2018: I’m THAT guy!

I’m the guy who strikes up a conversation with the person standing beside me in the checkout line.  The guy who will approach someone on the street to ask them where they got the coffee with the unique lid they’re holding in their hand.  The guy my girlfriend considers crazy for talking to complete strangers every chance I get.  All true and yet, in feeding my socialpathic tendencies whenever we’re walking the dogs or going out for lunch or picking up almond butter at the local health food shop, I’ve met some very interesting people.  For instance –

Guy who lives in our building who works in intelligence (struck up a conversation with him in the elevator)

Music producer and his wife, the defense attorney (struck up a conversation with them while out for dinner with the guy who works in intelligence)

Owner of an indoor advertising company (struck up a conversation with him while visiting our storage locker)

Anime enthusiast and owner of online Evangelion t-shirt shop (struck up a conversation with him while out for a stroll)

Innumerable dog owners (struck up a conversation anywhere and everywhere provided they’re accompanied by a dog)

I’m thinking rather than tone it down, I’m going to make a concerted effort to meet someone new every day.  Yes, I’m going to be THAT guy – the crazy dude who’ll start chatting with you out of the blue.  Look out!

An interesting article on the future of Stargate by Adam Barnard:

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Stargate’s Return: The Next Step

A lot of ways things can go but, realistically, only one way they should go: whether it’s a direct-to-streaming film, a miniseries, a fourth long-form t.v. show, or wrap-up movie, IT HAS TO take place within the pre-existing television universe established by Stargate: SG-1 and developed in spinoffs Stargate: Atlantis and Stargate: Universe.  And I say “IT HAS TO” because, if it doesn’t, and we go the reboot route and wipe out 17 years of television history, I predict a lot of very angry, very vocal Stargate fans hitting the internet.

Finally, I leave you with a little something from back in the day.  Dark Matter Day 1 – introducing the crew of The Raza:

April 1, 2018: Lots of interesting news today!

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Limited Edition Dessert Whopper!

Kraken Spotted on River Thames!

Clean out your inbox with the Bad Joke Detector via The Files Go team –

Matching Makeovers for You and Your Pet!

Coca-Cola Launching Three New Flavors!

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PinDrop’s new tongue printing technology –

Klingon Alphabet Fridge Magnets from ThinkGeek.com

Brexit Emojis For Your Social Media Profile

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New from PopChips!  Unicorn Balls!

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VHS is making a comeback!

Presenting Honda Sixth Sense for the smart phone walker/talker –

Good Cloud Hummus API

Finally!  Fried food supplements for those who can’t stop for that burger and fries –

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Logitech’s Business Speak Detection for Video Conferencing –

Porch Piracy Protection from Man Crates –

Tasmania’s Police have a new addition to their K9 unit!

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The world’s first in-class cycling studio!  Virgin Spin Class!

From the makers of SodaStream comes…SodaSoak!

Ensure your clothing fits with Zappos new resizing service!

Who needs a remote when you have Roku’s Happy Streaming Socks?

Life Storage’s Smart Storage Smart Bot –

No longer will you have to sort your legos by hand!

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Cat prodigy loves Photoshop!

Move over AirBNB.  Here comes ShareBED –

New from Heinz – Chocolate Mayonnaise!

Adobe’s new Food Illustrator ordering system!

Learn to survive the coming robot apocalypse by taking this course.

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FMTrust’s new AiTM –

Razer’s nanotech gives you the gaming edge!

Ollie all natural dog food is expanding with a human food line –

Google Japan launches a more intuitive keyboard –

Lush launches beer bath bombs

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Introducing the REI Co-Op ZipAll –

Everywair’s Feline Atmospheric Distribution System –

94% of American Dogs Report They’re Happiest in Monogamous Relationships

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Dollar Shave Club announces Ghost Pepper face wipes –

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Introducing Genetic Select by Lexus –

Have trouble making sense of those British accents on British television?  Well, BritBox has you covered!

Deliveroo’s Try Before You Buy Taste and Smell Feature

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Meal deliveries to even the remotest of camp sites with BioLite’s Back Country Bites!

Amazon Publishing delivers authors right to your doorstep!

Also from Wayfair – Scentsible Wallpaper.

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The next generation of influencers –

Just in time for the royal wedding…

And kids get in on the fun too!

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March 31, 2018: Best Novels of 2018 So Far (First Quarter Report!)

Yes, in addition to juggling various projects, I’m also finding the time to read.  A lot.  And, among my recent reads are some real gems, a handful of which were released this year.  What follows is a varied list of My Favorite Novels of 2018 So Far.

If the book blurbs catch your interest and you have the time, do yourself a favor and check them out!

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Bury What We Cannot Take by Kirstin Chen

The day nine-year-old San San and her twelve-year-old brother, Ah Liam, discover their grandmother taking a hammer to a framed portrait of Chairman Mao is the day that forever changes their lives. To prove his loyalty to the Party, Ah Liam reports his grandmother to the authorities. But his belief in doing the right thing sets in motion a terrible chain of events.

Now they must flee their home on Drum Wave Islet, which sits just a few hundred meters across the channel from mainland China. But when their mother goes to procure visas for safe passage to Hong Kong, the government will only issue them on the condition that she leave behind one of her children as proof of the family’s intention to return.

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The Perfect Nanny by Leila Slimani

When Myriam, a mother and brilliant French-Moroccan lawyer, decides to return to work, she and her husband are forced to look for a caretaker for their two young children. They are thrilled to find Louise: the perfect nanny right from the start. Louise sings to the children, cleans the family’s beautiful apartment in Paris’s upscale tenth arrondissement, stays late whenever asked, and hosts enviable kiddie parties. But as the couple and the nanny become more dependent on each other, jealousy, resentment, and frustrations mount, shattering the idyllic tableau.

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A Map of the Dark by Karen Ellis

FBI Agent Elsa Myers finds missing people.

She knows how it feels to be lost…

Though her father lies dying in a hospital north of New York City, Elsa cannot refuse a call for help. A teenage girl has gone missing from Forest Hills, Queens, and during the critical first hours of the case, a series of false leads hides the fact that she did not go willingly.

With each passing hour, as the hunt for Ruby deepens into a search for a man who may have been killing for years, the case starts to get underneath Elsa’s skin. Everything she has buried – her fraught relationship with her sister and niece, her self-destructive past, her mother’s death – threatens to resurface, with devastating consequences.

In order to save the missing girl, she may have to lose herself…and return to the darkness she’s been hiding from for years.

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A River In Darkness by Masaji Ishikawa

Half-Korean, half-Japanese, Masaji Ishikawa has spent his whole life feeling like a man without a country. This feeling only deepened when his family moved from Japan to North Korea when Ishikawa was just thirteen years old, and unwittingly became members of the lowest social caste. His father, himself a Korean national, was lured to the new Communist country by promises of abundant work, education for his children, and a higher station in society. But the reality of their new life was far from utopian.

In this memoir translated from the original Japanese, Ishikawa candidly recounts his tumultuous upbringing and the brutal thirty-six years he spent living under a crushing totalitarian regime, as well as the challenges he faced repatriating to Japan after barely escaping North Korea with his life. A River in Darkness is not only a shocking portrait of life inside the country but a testament to the dignity—and indomitable nature—of the human spirit.

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Grist Mill Road by Christopher J. Yates

The year is 1982; the setting, an Edenic hamlet some ninety miles north of New York City. There, among the craggy rock cliffs and glacial ponds of timeworn mountains, three friends—Patrick, Matthew, and Hannah—are bound together by a terrible and seemingly senseless crime. Twenty-six years later, in New York City, living lives their younger selves never could have predicted, the three meet again—with even more devastating results.

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The Armored Saint by Myke Cole

In a world where any act of magic could open a portal to hell, the Order insures that no wizard will live to summon devils, and will kill as many innocent people as they must to prevent that greater horror. After witnessing a horrendous slaughter, the village girl Heloise opposes the Order, and risks bringing their wrath down on herself, her family, and her village.

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The Friend by Sigrid Nunez

When a woman unexpectedly loses her lifelong best friend and mentor, she finds herself burdened with the unwanted dog he has left behind. Her own battle against grief is intensified by the mute suffering of the dog, a huge Great Dane traumatized by the inexplicable disappearance of its master, and by the threat of eviction: dogs are prohibited in her apartment building.

While others worry that grief has made her a victim of magical thinking, the woman refuses to be separated from the dog except for brief periods of time. Isolated from the rest of the world, increasingly obsessed with the dog’s care, determined to read its mind and fathom its heart, she comes dangerously close to unraveling. But while troubles abound, rich and surprising rewards lie in store for both of them.

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How To Behave In A Crowd by Camille Bordas

Isidore Mazal is eleven years old, the youngest of six siblings living in a small French town. He doesn’t quite fit in. Berenice, Aurore, and Leonard are on track to have doctorates by age twenty-four. Jeremie performs with a symphony, and Simone, older than Isidore by eighteen months, expects a great career as a novelist. She’s already put Isidore to work on her biography. The only time they leave their rooms is to gather on the old, stained couch and dissect prime-time television dramas in light of Aristotle’s Poetics.

Isidore has never skipped a grade or written a dissertation, but he notices things the others don’t and asks questions they fear to ask. So when tragedy strikes the Mazal family, Isidore is the only one to recognize how everyone is struggling with their grief and perhaps the only one who can help them–if he doesn’t run away from home first.

March 30, 2018: Catching up on the mailbag!

Tam Dixon writes: “Someone recommended Woodford Bourbon. How does it compare to Jefferson’s Ocean?”

Answer: Woodford Reserve is good; Jefferson’s Ocean is outstanding.

arcticgoddess writes: “I always thought a show runner sort of ran to the networks with show ideas. I guess I wasn’t seeing the big picture.”

Answer: Oh, I run show ideas by both broadcasters and production companies. Pitching ideas, in some capacity, is part of the process whether it be an original series idea or your vision for a television adaptation of an existing property.

maggiemayday writes: “What criteria did you use to narrow the field, other than already knowing the candidates? What type of things caught your fancy?”

Answer: Well, as I said in yesterday’s blog entry, I eliminated those directors I’d already worked with.  I also eliminated directors with no solid experience as I’m unlikely to hire them to direct in the immediate future (Not saying it won’t happen in the distant future or I wouldn’t be happy to sit down with them outside of the event).  Candidates who have directed genre warrant further consideration as that’s the type of show I tend to produce.  If they’ve had television experience, all the better since it demonstrates an awareness and ability to work under within a tight schedule.  I also make sure to consider individuals from historically under-represented groups.

Tam Dixon: “How’s the cold?”

Answer: I’m cured!  It’s a miracle!

CJ Colin writes: “I forgot to add as well i have always wanted to build my own house and when i first saw the look of the raza I immediately wanted to build a life size Version of the raza 1:1 scale and make it my house, my family has a bit of land outside of San Antonio texas and I always thought a spaceship house would be perfect to build out there.”

Answer: I want to see photos once you’re done!

CJ Colin writes: ” I am just so saddened right now. I loved this show and to have to say goodbye sucks.”

Answer: Hey, CJ, thanks for the kind words.  It’s truly heartening to hear the various shows I had a hand in were positive sources of inspiration in your life.  Hopefully, I’ll get a chance to bring Dark Matter fans an ending in the form of a miniseries some day.  In the meantime, fingers crossed you’ll enjoy my next show just as much.

Nicole writes: “How could you not include Kumamon on your list?”

Answer: You’re right.  That was an oversight.  He’s an Akemi favorite.

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rissreader writes: “I just noticed that you’re usually posting every other day instead of daily. Has it been a long time?”

Answer: Nope.  Still posting daily.  Could be you’re in a different time zone so that may affect how you see the entries.

shinyhula writes: “What do you eat/drink to keep your mind sharp Joe?”

Answer: Chocolate and bourbon.  That’s it.

gforce writes: “How do you kept this all straight??”

Answer: By breaking the various projects down in a blog post for future reference.

ScientiaFicta writes: “How about Team SG-Pug ?”

Answer:  You got it…

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Unending One writes: “I take it no news on the Stargate front? Will we be doing another tweet storm?”

Answer: Incredibly disappointed we’ve received no news but the recent changes at the studio (with the departure of CEO Gary Barber) suggests everyone there is busy dealing with more pressing concerns.  And, yes, we may have to do another tweet storm.  Eventually.

Jane Woollestone writes: “Can Suji come to Norfolk in the UK and become a Nice Weather Angel too?”

Answer: We’re packing her warm socks!

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March 29, 2018: The Speed Dating Directors Selection Process!

About a month ago, I agreed to take part in a showrunner/director speed meeting event that will essentially involve me sitting down with eight pre-selected directors for 10 minutes each over the course of an evening.  “Wait a minute,”you’re no doubt thinking. “You’re not a freakin’ showrunner!”  Well, while technically true, I was a showrunner and do feel pretty good about my chances of showrunning again in the not too distant future.  So I thought “Why not?”  It would be nice to get to know some people currently not on my radar.

Anyway, I agreed and, last week, was sent a list of over a hundred directors and instructed to choose eight.  Eight out of 120+!

So I sat down, researched credits and reviewed reels.  I crossed off the list the dozen directors I already know simply because I’m already familiar with their work and if they really want to sit down with me, all they have to do is send me an email.

After the first lengthy review, I’d narrowed the list down to 25.  Then, over the course of that afternoon, 16.  Then 10. And, finally 6.  Until I realized I actually needed to choose 8 candidates, so I went back, doubled that number to 12, and then wrestled with indecision for the next two days.

Until it eventually dawned on me that, rather than narrow down my choices to a mere six eight, I could simply reach out to some of the directors on my short list and actually meet up with them outside of the planned event – for LONGER THAN 10 MINUTES!

So I did.  I reached out and ended up meeting three amazingly talented young female directors.  Over the course of a leisurely lunch, we discussed the television industry, their respective backgrounds and longterm goals, and I imparted nuggets of wisdom like: “It’s the small moments that make an episode,” “Don’t be crazy!”, and, most importantly, “Try the grilled octopus.  It’s delicious!”.

I would have reached out to more but I’m amazed by the number of industry professionals who aren’t on twitter.  In some ways, I get it.  I’m not a huge fan of the platform either, but I do recognize its value in providing quick and convenient online connections.

Anyway, to make a long story short (or, more to the point, bring this rambling blog entry to a close), I’ve chosen my eight directors and look forward to learning as much about them as possible – in ten minutes.

In other news.  Hey!  I did an interview for The Digital Fix

Also, the results of my recent online poll are in.  And Akemi breathes a sigh of relief…

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Finally – When we first adopted Suji, she could barely get around, dragging her back legs around wherever she went.  Over a year later, she’s such an avid walker that she gets downright angry if we’re ever late for her morning stroll…

March 28, 2018: Best Comic Book Covers of the Week!

My favorites…

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Abbott (cover by Taj Tenfold)

I can’t decide whether they’re snapping a pic as evidence or for instagram.

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Breathless #1 (cover art by Renzo Rodrigues)

Always a big fan of starkly contrasted minimal color palettes.

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Days of Hate #12 (cover art by Tom Muller, Danijel Zezelj)

Love the pencils and the overwhelming ornangeness that conveys a sense of the bleakest of road trips.

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Doomsday Clock #4 (cover art by Brad Anderson, Gary Frank)

Never have I laid eyes on a more unnerving-looking stack of pancakes.

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Hal Jordan and The Green Lantern Corps #41 (cover art by Tomeu Morey, Rafa Sandoval, Jordi Tarragona)

Zod at his imposing best.  Holy Smokes, he’s a big boy!

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Saga #50 (cover art by Fiona Staples)

A wonderful cover that really captures the joy and family spirit at the heart of this series.

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Spawn #284 (cover art by Jason Shawn Alexander, Todd McFarlane)

Terrifyingly beautiful.

 

March 27, 2018: Let’s sample Halo Ice Cream!

P.S. I went back for the Candy Bar.  They were already sold out.