Joseph Mallozzi's Blog, page 258

November 7, 2018: Week’s Best Comic Book Covers!

A lot of great comic book covers this week.  These are my favorites…

Batman #58 (cover art by Tony Salvador Daniel, Mikel Janin, Tomeu Morey)

Death Of The Inhumans #5 (cover art by Kyle Kaare Andrews)

Friendo #2 (cover art by Kim McLean, Martin Simmonds)

Friendo #2 (cover art by Kim McLean, Martin Simmonds)

Immortal Hulk #8 (cover art by Alex Ross)

Infinity Wars #4 (cover art by Mike Deodato Jr.)

Moth & Whispers #3 (cover art by Jen Hickman)

Seven to Eternity #12 (cover art by Matt Hollingsworth, Daniel Warren Johnson, Jerome Opena)

Spawn #291 cover art by Francesco Mattina, Todd McFarlane)

The Dreaming #3 (cover art by June Chung, Jae Lee)

The Wicked + The Divine: The Funnies #1 (cover art by Jamie McKelvie, Margaux Saltel, Matt D. Wilson)

Weapon X #25 (cover art by Rahzzah)

So, which were your favorites?

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November 6, 2018: All aboard the runaway locomotive!

Well, the plan was to go catch Venom today, but I got waylaid by a last-minute rewrite, a few apartment chores, and notes…that I waited around for but never came   And so, in the end, I elected to just sit on my couch and finish Jonathan French’s The Grey Bastards, a rollickin’ foray into grimdark, one of my favorite fantasy releases of 2018, and my 316th book read this year.  Sadly, it doesn’t look like I’ll reach my insane 365 in 365 target but who knows?  I figure I can get through at least three or four books during the flight to Tokyo!

The preliminary overview for Untitled Awesome Project will be going out tomorrow with a place-holder title.  I, personally, love Untitled Awesome Project.  I mean, who wouldn’t want to watch THAT?  But it has been suggested to me that, in all likelihood, somewhere down the line, someone is going to ask us to change it, so best to start generating possibilities now.  I came up with about a half dozen I kind of liked.  Not sure what we’ll end up with, but I’ll let you know the titles that didn’t make the cut.  They should give you hint as to what I’m working on.

Oh, I’m also working on the show I’m working on.  With Episode 1 done (for now), I’ve moved on to Episode 3 and written the tease.  I’m hoping to deliver a first (and possibly second?) draft by the time I’m Japan-bound.  Then, after that, it’s rewrites and prep as we barrel towards production like a runaway locomotive.

Hey, great to see two long-time blog regulars, Jeff and Gary, on their recent swings through Toronto.  Suji and Lulu were especially thrilled to catch up!

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November 5, 2018: Dear, Suspiria…

I have questions for your film, set in the 1970’s that, oddly, borrows much of its visual style from music videos of the 1980’s…

Why didn’t you hire an actual editor to work on your film rather than, say, some Yes Man or Woman happy to defer to the whims of your self-indulgent director? You’re not remaking Lawrence of Arabia.  It’s a fucking horror movie.  Keep it under two hours.  The “elevated” in the hipster douchebag term “elevated horror” is NOT a synonym for “elongated”.  If you’re truly at a loss as to how to trim down your goddamn precious oeuvre, might I suggest starting with the 15 minute Old Man Walking montage.

Speaking of which – why not cast an old man to play an old man?  I mean, sure, there’s probably some meaningful meta-commentary you’re trying to make about casting in today’s Hollywood, but you’re social posturing to the detriment of your film.  Spend a little more money to ensure the bottom half of your faux “old man’s” face actually moves instead of looking like a latex mask.

Was it your intention to specifically tailor your film to fans of Aranofsky’s Mother with a coincidental appreciation for arterial spray and exploding heads?

Shouldn’t a movie’s subplots somehow at some point in some small way tie into the main storyline?  Consider this one more of a rhetorical question.

Aren’t horror movies supposed to be, y’know, scary?  Sorry, this one’s rhetorical as well.

Just curious.

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November 4, 2018: Suji Sunday!

Santa’s holding auditions!

Sassy boudoir shot.

Lulu says “Wut?”

A rare chill moment.

Lulu on high alert.

Suji’s autumn look.

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November 3, 2018: You Can Never Go Home Again!

Earlier today, I received a text from my good friend Robert Cooper who informed me that, while rewatching some of the classic movies he enjoyed back in the day, was shocked to discover that a number of the seminal films from his youth are, upon further review, not that good – or, at the very least, not as good as he remembered.  I can empathize as it has happened to me countless times when I’ve revisited some of my old favorites.  Sadly, a lot of just don’t hold up.

Some of the movies I LOVED back in the day that I’ve fallen out of love with in time:

Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Phantasm

Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life

Forrest Gump

Apocalypse Now

Con Air

Ghostbusters

Groundhog Day

Gladiator

Crash

To be fair, I’m unimpressed by most of what I see, so this just serves to trim down an already slim list.  It makes me almost afraid to re-watch The Sting, Tombstone, Pulp Fiction, and Clue less.

Thank goodness for Die Hard, Misery, and Planes, Train and Automobiles – classics that DO stay the test of time.

So what about you?  What movies have you recently revisited that – well, aren’t anywhere near as good as you remembered?

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November 2, 2018: Halloween

Everything old is old again in Halloween, a sequel to a movie made 40 years ago, that feels like it was made 39 years ago, so devoid is it of even a shred of originality.

Contrived death sequences?  Check!

Closet fake-out sequence?  Check!

Ankle grab and struggle beat?  Check?

Characters making moronic decisions that put them in harm’s way?  CHECK!

And so much more!

There is one extended sequence in which Jamie Lee Curtis’s Laurie Strode character searches the house with nothing but a flashlight illuminating its dark recesses.  At one point, Ivon leaned over and whispered: “Turning on the lights wouldn’t be a bad idea.”  True, but then where would be the fun in that?

It’s like wondering why, after 40 years, would authorities choose to transfer a serial killing mental patient on  the anniversary of his killing spree?  I mean, they couldn’t have waited until the day AFTER Halloween?

I guess ours is not to question why but to mentally note the innumerable horror movie cliches that pepper this half-ass effort.

It’s downright astounding to think that Scream did such a brilliant job of subverting the genre back in 1996 and now, twelve years later, we get THIS.

Favorite line: “I’m a doctor!  Get back in your homes!”

Oh, a doctor you say?  Alrighty then.

 

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November 1, 2018: Updating You on Me!

I pitched Akemi some of the character elements of my Untitled Awesome Project today and she is now bemoaning the fact that she can’t watch the show.  Yet!  She already has a favorite and some of the situations I describe had her laughing out loud.  Even my go-to onset producer, Ivon, is excited about it – and he only knows the basic premise.  Some major Dark Matter vibes in this one, thematic and tonal similarities that would make it ideal for crossover potential.

Tonight’s blog entry is late because I’ve been having way too much fun working on this series overview that is already 12 pages long.  It hopefully goes out next week for initial broadcaster consideration.  Also, apparently, I need to come up with an actual title for the show.  I’m stumped.  I throw it over to you guys.  Any ideas?

Speaking of overviews, I did a pass on one this afternoon for the series I’m currently showrunning, a polish on an impressive first draft written by our script coordinator, Sam.  It will also go out for broadcaster approval along with the pilot script I revised this morning and sent RT’s way.  Things are coming along nicely on this front.  The revised outlines for Episodes 3-5 are in play and it’s looks like fluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuiiiiiiid and siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiilky sailing!

Should I succeed in finishing all my work well ahead of schedule, I may actually treat myself to a matinee tomorrow.  Halloween?  Venom?  Suspira? Can You Ever Forgive Me?    Burning?

Or will I just stay home, researching fantasy football and thinking about starting Haunting of Hill House?

P.S. I woke up to the sound of tremendous CRASH this morning.  Turns out one of the motorized blinds snagged and upended my bar holding my entire collection of Japanese whiskies.  Two crystal glasses shattered but I’m pleased to report that the Hibiki, Toki, Yoichi, Bush, Taketsuru, and Tokinoka survived the ordeal unscathed.

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October 31, 2018: Week’s Best Comic Book Covers!

These were my favorites…

Avengers Halloween Special #1 (cover art by Geoff Shaw)

Black Panther #5 (cover art by Daniel Acuna, Paolo Rivera)

Multiple Man #5 (cover art by Marcos Martin)

Tony Stark: Iron Man #5 (cover art by Alexander Lozano)

Weapon X Vol. 4: Russian Revolution (cover art by Rahzzah)

What If? Magik #1 (cover art by Jeff Dekal)

So, which were your favorites?

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October 30, 2018: Things I learned today!

Spent half the day undergoing my annual health assessment.  As far as I can tell (pending the results of the blood test), I’m as healthy and hopelessly out of shape as ever!

Other things I have learned:

I read better when I wear my reading glasses.

My sense of balance is atrocious, making me a poor candidate for that heist team member who has to negotiate a building-bridging telephone line like a tightrope walker.

I really don’t like needles.  ESPECIALLY when they’re piercing my flesh.  And ESPECIALLY when they’re used with the express purpose of drawing blood from my arm only to fail – twice! – and have to tap a vein in my OTHER arm!

I also really don’t like the sight of my own blood leaving my body.

It’s very hard to keep your eye open/from watering when you know it’s going to be blasted with a puff of air.

My grip strength is decidedly average.

During an ultrasound, never joke about wanting to know the sex of the baby.

I have a truly terrible sense of coordination, making me a poor candidate for that heist team member who has to negotiate the laser maze.

When you’re unable to provide a urine sample is when they need it and when you ARE able to provide a urine sample, they don’t want it.  (Solution: Always carry one around with you, just in case!)

The likelihood of your agent getting back to you in a speedy manner is inversely proportional to your desire to get an answer to that question you asked him.

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October 29, 2018: I’m like Tom Hanks in that movie where he’s adrift with no internet! What was it? Big?

I received the terrible news this morning while I was still in bed.  “The internet is down,”said Akemi.

“Did you try rebooting?”I asked.

When she told me she had, I didn’t think much of it.  There have been countless times where I have had to act as IT guy for her various computer issues.  Granted, the depth of my repertoire consists of asking her to reboot and, if that doesn’t work, hopping on google, but it has sufficed in the past.  And so, I assumed, it would this time as well.  Until I rolled over to check my phone and realized…

The internet was down!

I jumped out of bed and unplugged, then plugged in the router.  Nothing!

I texted Ivon to find out if he was experiencing trouble with his wireless.  HIS wireless was fine!  WTF???  We have the same internet provider!

So I called our internet provider and was informed they were aware of the problem and it was a service issue.  I pointed out that my friend, who lives in the same building, has experienced no problems with HIS internet.  Their response was the equivalent of a half-hearted shrug and a “What can you do?”  Still, they assured me that their crack team was working on it and that my internet access would be restored…

…eventually…

IN 24 TO 48 HOURS!!!

Holy Hell!  I may as well be on Mars or in the middle of the Sahara or my mom’s place in Montreal!

I tell ya, there’s nothing like being cut off from the rest of humanity to really make you take stock in things like life’s capricious nature and that script rewrite you’ve got to deliver before week’s end.

Well, tomorrow I am off for my annual physical.  I’ll be getting pinched, prodded, and bled after which they will test my physical endurance by making me run (for the first since we knocked over that liquor store back in 2016!).  I will have to submit a three day food journal that Akemi has forced me to answer truthfully (“Hey!  Where’s your afternoon lattes?!!!) and then demonstrate such feats of physical prowess as my inability to touch my toes or stand on one foot with my eyes closed.

Wish me luck!

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