Joseph Mallozzi's Blog, page 497
June 19, 2012
June 19, 2012: Back scratch! News of note! Reminders, reminders, reminders!
Somebody’s got an itchy back.
I’ll take a couple of days to decompress, do a little work on the miniseries, the horror script, then resume our trip down SGA memory lane with Atlantis’s second season.
Some news of note:
Family struggles to rescue their dog from being euthanized by bureaucrats in Belfast City Council: The Lennox Campaign www.savelennox.co.ukThe Official Lennox Campaign Website
The 6 Creepiest Lies the Food Industry is Feeding You The kobe beef is self-evident and I’d heard about the salmon, but olive oil? Honey? Soy sauce? Really?
What does it mean when a movie gets massively delayed?. Usually it means it’s so fantastic the studio fears it will overwhelm you with its awesomeness so has adopted a go-slow approach.
Helen Mirren was in Caligula? Top 10 Embarrassing Movies Made By Legendary Actors
Confused watching Game of Thrones? Here’s help:
This blog’s resident film critic, Cookie Monster, asked me to direct you over to the sidebar for a rundown of the upcoming selections in our Supermovie of the Week Club in which we force Cookie to watch superhero-themed movies and review them for this site. We started back in 1951 with Superman and the Mole-Men and now, we’re working our way through the late 90′s. In the upcoming weeks we can look forward to such memorable cinematic gems as Batman and Robin, Spawn, Steel, and Mystery Men. But, first things first. Here’s a sneak peek at next week’s Supermovie of the Week Club entry, The Phantom:
Catch up on all of Cookie Monster’s film reviews here: Film reviews by resident film criti…
This is your last day to cast your vote (and have a shot at winning a couple of signed scripts) in our Greatest Mid-Season Two-Parter in Stargate History poll:
Winners will be announced as part of tomorrow’s entry.
Provided I remember.
June 18, 2012
June 18, 2012: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie!
Most superhero movies me have reviewed so far make monster so angry he want to go back to video store and punch and slap around employee, den kick him in the de grapes. But dis not de case wit Mighty Morphin Power Rangers movie. Instead, me just want to go back and punch and slap. Not as much grape kicking. When monster sit down to watch MMPR, me expect weak akting, stoopid plot, terruble dialogue, cheezy speshul effekts, silly costumes, and lame stunts, but me pleasantly surprized. Stunts pretty good. Dats about all MMPR have going for it, but it enuf to save Monty (aka video store guy) me working his grapes.
Anyway, after opening Star Wars scroll, movie start wit bunch of kids skydiving for charity (?), den rollerblading thru de city. Why? What dis have to do wit anyting? Not much.
Meanwhile, real story begin when construktion workers unearth giant purple egg. Wow! What a great arkeological diskovery! Soon, de site will be teeming wit scientists and government soldiers and police men! No? Okay den, scientists and police men! No? Some scientists? How about two security guards wit a lawn chair?
Egg crack and purple bad guy called Ivon Ooze eskape. For some reason, he speak perfekt colloquial English and just full of gags. Me tink he possessed by ghost of Jim Carey playing de Riddler. First ting Ivon do is go to Mighty Morphin sekret headquarters and trash de place.
Luckily, de Mexican robot okay. Aye-yi-yi-yi!
Kids from beginning of movie (Mighty Morphin Power Rangers) go back to HQ and diskover deir boss, de big floating head, now just a pale guy in full body turtleneck lying in frog pond. Also dey lost deir powers. One of dem say: “We may not have our powers, but we’re still de Power Rangers!”. Mmmmm, no. No. Pretty sure dat you need “power” to be a “Power Ranger”. Rest of group realize dis and so decide dey have to travel to another planet to get new powers. How dat work? Beats monster. How dey get dere? Why, by riding a magik rainbow of course!
Faaaabulous!
Soooo, dey ride de magik rainbow (no, really) to another planet where dey meet sexy girl in leather bikini. None of de boyz have hit puberty yet so not one seem all dat interested in her.
Vavavavoom! She can impale monster wit her staff anytime! No. Wait.
She send dem on qwest and before you can say “filler fight scene”, the Rangers have new speshul powers!
Mighty Morphin Karate Kid Ninja Rangers!
Except, for some reazon, dese powers not good enuf. So dey have to keep qwesting until dey get another bunch of superpowers – and dey’re able to morph again. [By de way, monster diskover dat "morphin" in Mighty Morphin Power Rangers is verb. All dis time, me using it as adjective - ie. "I want dese mother morphin snakes off dis mother morphin plane!"].
Back on Earth, Ivon Ooze enslave parents with purple ooze and force dem to create giant metal bugs. Power Rangers ride de magik rainbow back home in nick of time . Dey fight, each wit deir own crappy toy tie-in mecha-tingie. Dey save a bunch of irresponsible kids taking a joyride on a monorail. Finally, dey all join together (what took dem so long?) to create one giant mecha-tingie. Meanwhile, Ivon Ooze embody other mecha-tingie.
Ninja Megahemmaroid. Or someting like dat.
Space fight ensue! Mecha-Ivon kicked in de grapes and right into path of comet dat just happens to be flying by. Ah, coinsidents, de last refuge of writers who suck/too lazy to bother/have better tings to do den come up wit your clever ending so buy de damn toys and shut de F up.
Ivon get blown up. Huzzah!
Power Rangers return to HQ, but it too late for pale guy. Or is it?! Power Rangers join hands and use de power of friendship? Love? Deus ex machina? To restore him back to giant head status. Also, HQ magikally renovated! And boyz hit puberty.
Verdikt: Movie be faithfully crappy to crappy original t.v. series. If you go in wit absolutely no expektations, you only be slightly disappointed.
Rating: 1.5 out of 10 cholate chippee cookies. Movie chock full of cool kick moves monster plan to try out on Monty next time me go to video store. 
Check out monster’s other movie reviews here: Film reviews by resident film criti…
Also, Joe ask me to remind everybuddy only two more days to vote for Greatest Stargate mid-season two-parter!
Take Our Poll
Tagged: Cookie Monster, Cookie Monster reviews Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie, superhero movies, superheroes, SuperMovie of the Week Club, The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers
July 18, 2012: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie!
Most superhero movies me have reviewed so far make monster so angry he want to go back to video store and punch and slap around employee, den kick him in the de grapes. But dis not de case wit Mighty Morphin Power Rangers movie. Instead, me just want to go back and punch and slap. Not as much grape kicking. When monster sit down to watch MMPR, me expect weak akting, stoopid plot, terruble dialogue, cheezy speshul effekts, silly costumes, and lame stunts, but me pleasantly surprized. Stunts pretty good. Dats about all MMPR have going for it, but it enuf to save Monty (aka video store guy) me working his grapes.
Anyway, after opening Star Wars scroll, movie start wit bunch of kids skydiving for charity (?), den rollerblading thru de city. Why? What dis have to do wit anyting? Not much.
Meanwhile, real story begin when construktion workers unearth giant purple egg. Wow! What a great arkeological diskovery! Soon, de site will be teeming wit scientists and government soldiers and police men! No? Okay den, scientists and police men! No? Some scientists? How about two security guards wit a lawn chair?
Egg crack and purple bad guy called Ivon Ooze eskape. For some reason, he speak perfekt colloquial English and just full of gags. Me tink he possessed by ghost of Jim Carey playing de Riddler. First ting Ivon do is go to Mighty Morphin sekret headquarters and trash de place.
Luckily, de Mexican robot okay. Aye-yi-yi-yi!
Kids from beginning of movie (Mighty Morphin Power Rangers) go back to HQ and diskover deir boss, de big floating head, now just a pale guy in full body turtleneck lying in frog pond. Also dey lost deir powers. One of dem say: “We may not have our powers, but we’re still de Power Rangers!”. Mmmmm, no. No. Pretty sure dat you need “power” to be a “Power Ranger”. Rest of group realize dis and so decide dey have to travel to another planet to get new powers. How dat work? Beats monster. How dey get dere? Why, by riding a magik rainbow of course!
Faaaabulous!
Soooo, dey ride de magik rainbow (no, really) to another planet where dey meet sexy girl in leather bikini. None of de boyz have hit puberty yet so not one seem all dat interested in her.
Vavavavoom! She can impale monster wit her staff anytime! No. Wait.
She send dem on qwest and before you can say “filler fight scene”, the Rangers have new speshul powers!
Mighty Morphin Karate Kid Ninja Rangers!
Except, for some reazon, dese powers not good enuf. So dey have to keep qwesting until dey get another bunch of superpowers – and dey’re able to morph again. [By de way, monster diskover dat "morphin" in Mighty Morphin Power Rangers is verb. All dis time, me using it as adjective - ie. "I want dese mother morphin snakes off dis mother morphin plane!"].
Back on Earth, Ivon Ooze enslave parents with purple ooze and force dem to create giant metal bugs. Power Rangers ride de magik rainbow back home in nick of time . Dey fight, each wit deir own crappy toy tie-in mecha-tingie. Dey save a bunch of irresponsible kids taking a joyride on a monorail. Finally, dey all join together (what took dem so long?) to create one giant mecha-tingie. Meanwhile, Ivon Ooze embody other mecha-tingie.
Ninja Megahemmaroid. Or someting like dat.
Space fight ensue! Mecha-Ivon kicked in de grapes and right into path of comet dat just happens to be flying by. Ah, coinsidents, de last refuge of writers who suck/too lazy to bother/have better tings to do den come up wit your clever ending so buy de damn toys and shut de F up.
Ivon get blown up. Huzzah!
Power Rangers return to HQ, but it too late for pale guy. Or is it?! Power Rangers join hands and use de power of friendship? Love? Deus ex machina? To restore him back to giant head status. Also, HQ magikally renovated! And boyz hit puberty.
Verdikt: Movie be faithfully crappy to crappy original t.v. series. If you go in wit absolutely no expektations, you only be slightly disappointed.
Rating: 1.5 out of 10 cholate chippee cookies. Movie chock full of cool kick moves monster plan to try out on Monty next time me go to video store.
Check out monster’s other movie reviews here: Film reviews by resident film criti…
Also, Joe ask me to remind everybuddy only two more days to vote for Greatest Stargate mid-season two-parter!
Take Our Poll
Tagged: Cookie Monster, Cookie Monster reviews Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie, superhero movies, superheroes, SuperMovie of the Week Club, The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers
June 17, 2012
June 17, 2012: Checking out the new food trucks! Days of Stargate Atlantis Past! Siege I and II!
When Stargate: Atlantis fan (and blog regular) Jeff first told me he’d be in town for business, I offered him a few suggestions on dining locations. While I would have loved to join him for dinner, his visit happened to coincide with the rewrite on this SF miniseries Paul and I are working on. It’s a tight turnaround (it goes to camera in about a month!) so I figured I’d be spending quality time with my laptop. But, as it turned out, I had a window of opportunity when Paul took the script off my hands. So, the other day, after running some errands, I met up with Jeff for a tour of some of Vancouver’s newest food trucks. Our multi-course lunch went something like this…
Jeff comes bearing gifts. For the dogs.
First course: Salvadoran cuisine: tamales de pollo (pictured) and pasteles. Good but I found them subdued in flavor.
Second course: Perogies. We went with the West Coast version that was stuffed with salmon, topped with caramelized onions and sour cream. We ordered the sausage. BTW – it would seem sausage is code for hot dog. Tasty – even with the “sausage”.
Hey, it’s Vancouver culinary legend Vikram Vij overseeing operations at his new food truck. His restaurant, Vij’s, by the way, is one of the city’s most popular. It happens to be Bob Picardo’s favorite dining destination whenever he’s in town.
Third course: Inspired Indian cuisine. Spot prawn with coconut masala and basmati rice (pictured) and lamb kebabs. The masala had a nice kick and the lamb was fantastic. Hard to beat this truck.
Fourth course: Bacon. The Piggy Blues: double smoked bacon, grilled mushrooms, creamy blue cheese, caramelized onion mayo, and greens. I suggested we stop by this place so I could try the bacon brownie – then relented and picked up this wrap as well. It was DAMN good!
The bourbon-bacon brownie. Loved it. Adding bacon to desserts has become a bit of a cliche but here it compliments rather than overwhelms, adding a nice smoky touch to the chocolate and bourbon.
Fifth course: macarons. We stopped by Soirette (THE place to go for macarons in Vancouver) and each had a dozen. Among my selected flavors, this Languvulin 16 year old scotch. Wow! It packed a punch.
Nice meeting you, Jeff. Next time I’m in Chicago, you lead.
Continuing our trip down SGA memory lane, we conclude season one…
SIEGE I (119)
Like most Martin Gero episodes, this one has a nice balance of humor, character development, and arc-driven elements to satisfy the die-hard fan. The wraith are on their way to Atlantis and, while Sheppard scrambles to find a suitable planet they can relocate to, McKay leads a team to an Ancient weapons outpost in a bid to bring it back online and use it to target one of the three enemy hive ships. By this point in the season, the McKay/Zelenka rivalry has finally attained the snappy, back-and-forth dynamic that will serve as a model for the ensuing four season’s worth of one-upmanship. Here, Radek tries to convince Rodney not to risk his unnecessarily, and he does so by playing to his ego. Rodney, however, turns the tables on Radek and dismisses the obvious concern by needling him. The subtext is clear. These two guys are concerned for each other but their egos went let them admit it.
Sheppard has no luck locating a safe haven for the expedition, at one point being chased back to Atlantis by a creature resembling a T-Rex. The fact that we, the audience never get to see the creature was a running gag for a while – so, in SGU’s first season episode, Lost (not so coincidentally written by Martin Gero), a team encounters a dinosaur off-world. And, this time, you can bet we see it.
At one point, Teyla hits Bates because she is offended by his accusations. Even Sheppard bristles at the suggestion that Teyla may have been compromised. And yet, when you think about it, Bates has a point. In fact, he makes it clear – he’s not accusing her of knowingly aiding the wraith. He’s simply pointing out that, based on past experience, it might be wise to exercise caution. Teyla may have found his opinion insulting, but it was a sound one and SHE was out of line hitting him – Sheppard just as guilty in not taking his own advice dispensed in the previous episode. He allows emotion to overrule logic in a potential life or death situation.
In addition to all this, we lose a member of the expedition in shocking fashion, and Atlantis takes in another wraith – who Sheppard nicknames Bob before blowing him away. It’s dark, yes, and Ford is clearly uncomfortable as John shoots the prisoner but this is Sheppard at his ambiguous best.
SIEGE II (120)
We pick up where the last episode left off. All hope seems lost. Weir gives the order to wipe the Ancient database, start the countdown to the self-destruct, and abandon Atlantis when – she receives word that someone is dialing in. It’s Stargate Command. And they’re sending reinforcements. So begins an action-packed season finale whose high points, for me, were its marvelous visuals and “No! Don’t end it there!” ending. The friction between Colonel Everett and, well, everyone else makes for interesting drama but the action comes so fast and furious in this episode that there really isn’t opportunity for those quieter, occasionally humorous, character moments that really ground an episode. For that reason, as much as I like the pacing and pandemonium of this episode, I have to tip my hat to Martin Gero for his work on Siege I. And, while I’m at it, I mentioned those fantastic battle sequences so a big “Thanks again!” to VFX Supervisor Mark Savela and the rest of the VFX team for their amazing ability to outdo themselves year after year.
Finally, I love a good cliffhanger (provided there’s an opportunity to come back and finish things off) and this one was a beauty. I could well imagine the collective sigh of frustration when the end credits came up onscreen and viewers at home realized they would have to tune in…next season.
And so ends my reminiscing on Atlantis’s first season. All all, a pretty solid season. Any first season of any series is going to have the occasional dud episode (I’ve termed this “The Emancipation Effect”) but, aside from Sanctuary, I have to say Atlantis was fairly good in that respect. There were a few episodes that while enjoyable, still prove somewhat problematic for me on some levels (mainly because I’m wearing my writer/producer hat when I watch them). But these episodes are far outweighed by the standouts. In my mind: Rising I and II, Poisoning the Well, The Storm, The Eye, The Defiant One, Before I Sleep, and Siege I.
So, what do you all think? Which episodes stood out for you in SGA’s first season?
Only three days left to vote for the greatest mid-season two-parter in Stargate history! Cast your ballot for a chance to win some signed scripts!
Finally, Cookie Monster would like to remind everyone that the Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes tomorrow when we’ll be discussing Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie. Here’s a little something to whet your appetite.
You can check out all of Cookie Monster’s movie reviews here: Film reviews by resident film critic Cookie Monster
Tagged: Atlantis, SGA, Stargate, Stargate: Atlantis, superhero movies, SuperMovie of the Week Club
June 16, 2012
June 16, 2012: An early start to the day! Days of Stargate Atlantis Past! Letters from Pegasus! The Gift!
Last night, Akemi and I re-enacted an episode of the anime Gintama. Coincidentally, it was the very episode we watched last night before going to sleep. The episode involved an insomniac Kagura keeping a sleepy Gintama up all night. By episode’s end, she has finally dozed off while Gintama lies wide awake beside her, unable to fall back asleep. Well, some three hours after I switched off the lights, I was stirred from a deep slumber by Akemi complaining because she couldn’t sleep. Apparently, she was suffering from indigestion, undoubtedly the result of a double helpings of the spicy noodles we had for dinner last night (“Please, don’t judge me,” she said as she shoveled the second helping into her bowl). ”I can’t sleep,”she said. ”Help me.” I suggested she pop a Pepto Bismal tablet. I always keep a half-dozen in emergency reserve by my bedside. She informed me that she’d already taken one and so, my entire repertoire of stomach remedies exhausted, I attempted to talk her out of her indigestion – but only managed a few encouraging words before giving up and settling for a comforting stomach pat.
And then, as I lay there, thinking about going back to sleep, other thoughts began to intrude on my half-wakened mind – concerns, big and small, took root and flourished, prompting dark imaginings, worst case scenarios, and a multitude of possible approaches to the problems. I lay in bed, fully alert, for three hours, attempting to shut down my brain and salvage what little sleep I could. But when the sun came up at a little after 5:00 a.m., I knew I was done. Jelly waking up thirty minutes later, crying to be let out, sealed it.
I got dressed, took Jelly out, came back inside, and crawled back into bed. But it was pointless. I got back out of bed, grabbed my laptop, and headed downstairs for an early start to the day – all the while being ever so careful to make sure I didn’t disturb Akemi.
She, of course, managed to sleep through the whole thing.
Atlantis memories…
LETTERS FROM PEGASUS (117)
Not quite a clip show yet not quite a progressive episode either, Letters from Pegasus is nevertheless a satisfying entry as it offers up some insight into life on Atlantis and the effect the early months of the expedition have had on its members. We’re offered unguarded glimpses of our characters as they open up and send messages back to their loved ones. These run the gamut from amusing and heart-warming to incredibly poignant. Alongside Weir’s address to the loved ones of those who have lost their lives on the mission to Pegasus, highlights include a conniving Kavanaugh, a long-winded McKay, and a surprisingly stirring Zelenka who delivers his entire message in Czech.
Off-world, meanwhile, Sheppard and Teyla run into a spot of trouble while running reconnaissance and narrowly avoid being culled by the wraith. Teyla’s attempts to save the family of an old friend prompts a curious lecture from John on the necessity to separate emotions from logic in life or death situations. The advice is sound but it nevertheless rings a little hollow given that it comes from a guy who has, time and again, demonstrated just the opposite.
THE GIFT (118)
This episode starts with the old double-dream twist (love it!) and ends with a shocking revelation that was hinted at way back in the opening two-parter. Along the way, we are treated to oodles of backstory on the wraith, the Ancients, and Teyla herself. And, as an added bonus, we’re also introduced to resident psychiatrist Dr. Kate Heightmeyer AND the much-loved tuttleroot soup (an Athosian specialty!). This episode covers A LOT of ground, but it never feels rushed or overwhelming in its delivery. It moves along at a brisk pace with one surprise building on the next. The evolution of the wraith! The Ancients’ unwittingly having a hand in their own demise! The dark truth about Teyla’s genetic make-up! The reason for the grand awakening and looming wraith attack on Atlantis!
And then, there’s this at the very end of the episode:
Teyla: “That is why they are all waking up. That is why they are coming here. They know that Atlantis is the only way to get to a new, rich, feeding ground.”
Sheppard: Earth.
Yes! YES! THAT is why they’re all awakening! Sheppard assumes the blame for awakening the wraith (during the op to rescue Sumner in Rising II) but here, Teyla confirms what I mentioned in a previous entry: that the wraith have awakened, not because of Sheppard’s actions, but because of the information they discovered while interrogating Sumner.
DARK MATTER at Comic Con!
I’m making final arrangements for Comic Con. In a little less than a month from now, I’ll be in San Diego, signing copies of my comic book series (Dark Matter), walking the floor of the convention center (it took me an entire afternoon the first time I went), and attempting to find a restaurant amid the myriad of neighborhood bail bondsman offices. Hopefully, by the same time next year, I’ll be back in San Diego and, instead of talking about Dark Matter the comic book series, I’ll be there to discuss Dark Matter the t.v. series. Seriously. Television is in desperate need of a ship-based science fiction series.
Four more days to get your vote in for The Greatest Mid-Season Two-Parter in Stargate history!
It’s about 4:00 p.m. and I’m ready for bed!
Tagged: science fiction, scifi television, SF television, SGA, Stargate, Stargate: Atlantis
June 15, 2012
June 15, 2012: Meat & Bread! Cadeaux Bakery! Days of Stargate Past, Atlantis! Before I Sleep! The Brotherhood!
On the heels of some disappointing/underwhelming/unfortunate/painful dining experiences, I’ve done much of my eating at home of late. The other day, however, I did end up venturing out to grab a sandwich at Meat & Bread in Gastown, and a dessert or two (or three…or four…okay, more like five) at Cadeaux Bakery.
With special guest diners, Steve and Jodi.
The porchetta sandwich at Meat & Bread is unbelievable.
Come on in! Let’s check out Cadeaux.
Jodi and Steve are out of control. Kids, don’t try this at home.
Our appetizer: the bourbon-lime truffles.
The ladies loved it. A little too tart for this sweet tooth.
That is one killer carrot cake.
Choco-banana dessert. This was surprisingly subtle. Good, but was blown away by the other more intensely flavored options.
The best dessert of the day: the pistachio bavarois.
The salted caramel brownie. Also killer.
I hear that Cadeaux is fairly new. Do check it out. Chances are you’ll run into me there as it is now my favorite dessert hang-out in Vancouver.
Continuing our Stargate: Atlantis reminiscences…
BEFORE I SLEEP (115)
Carl Binder makes his impressive Atlantis debut with an episode that hits all the right notes. It’s possessed of humour, wonder, surprises, great character moments, and a bittersweetness that stays with you long after other episodes have been forgotten. In the opening scene, Sheppard’s birthday gift to Weir goes a long way toward strengthening the (recently frayed) bond between the two while simultaneously endearing John to the audience. Yes, he’s a guy who killed some 60 enemy combatants, challenged Elizabeth’s authority, and showed suspect judgment in his romantic pursuit of an outsider but, on the flip side, he’s someone who thinks enough of his friends to: a) take the time to find out their birth day and b) go through the trouble of getting them a present. It’s a small gesture but an incredibly meaningful one. McKay, meanwhile, is back to his old self as he oversees the search of unexplored sections of Atlantis, seeking fresh scientific discoveries – and a room with a nicer view.
Time travel episodes are great – provided they make sense. And this one does, jumping back between two timelines – past, present, and future – to tell the tale of an Atlantis expedition that was and, subsequently, never was. We’re offered an alternate view of the pilot, a glimpse at the Ancients, and, best of all, confirmation that, when the chips are down, Rodney IS a hero at heart.
THE BROTHERHOOD (116)
Kolya makes his return, throwing a wrench into our heroes’ efforts to secure a working ZPM. A long dead secret society, underground labyrinths, puzzles and the Pegasus version of the Holy Grail all make for a fun, Atlantis-style Da Vinci Codesque adventure. But, like Childhood’s Ends, it’s all for naught and our crew find themselves back to square one. This episode also marks the first mention of Sheppard’s mensa test. We learn he passed but never joined, shocking McKay by suggesting that there’s more to this low-key rebel than meets the eye. But was he on the level? Years later, in the fifth season mid-season two-parter, Rodney isn’t so sure…
Oh, yeah. Almost forgot! Don’t forget to vote for your favorite Stargate mid-season two-parter for a chance to win some signed scripts!
Tagged: Atlantis, Cadeaux Bakery, Meat & Bread, science fiction, scifi television, SF television, Stargate, Stargate: Atlantis, Vancouver desserts
June 14, 2012
June 14, 2012: Familiar territory! Days of Stargate Past, Atlantis! Hot Zone! Sanctuary!
The other day, I was back in familiar territory, at The Bridge Studios, the former home of Stargate: SG-1, Stargate: Atlantis, and Stargate: Universe, present home of Once Upon A Time, and Brightlight Pictures the company producing the SF miniseries Paul and I are writing. I dropped by to get notes on the script, toss around some ideas for the second draft, and pick up a book that was sent to my old office. It was nice to see some familiar faces, like Bill the security guard -
Halt! Who goes there?!
And the gang in Admin -
- who were wondering when we’d be coming back. Well, soon. Hopefully.
I suppose it’s only appropriate that the visit to my old stomping ground coincides with my little trip down memory lane, reflecting back on Stargate: Atlantis’s first season.
HOT ZONE (113)
Following three wide open, all-out, kick-ass episodes, we shift gears to something a little more…self-contained. When members of the science team investigating unexplored sections of the city fall victim to a frightening contagion, Atlantis enacts security protocols, placing itself under lockdown. It’s another great episode for McKay that lays the groundwork for future stories – first and foremost the introduction of the Asurans, the mysterious creators of the nano-virus, but also Rodney’s sister Jeannie (who will end up making a few guest appearances in the coming seasons).
Again, what really stands out for me in this episode is less the threat faced than the reactions of our heroes – specifically, John Sheppard. In the opening two-parter, it is suggested that he’s a bit of a rebel, a loose cannon who has problems with authority. In later episodes he shows great courage and determination in the face of danger and yet, at the same time, also demonstrates a frustratingly cavalier attitude toward his commander, Weir. In Underground, he goes over her head by making defacto deals with the Genii. And in this episode, he openly challenges her authority by ordering Sgt. Bates to disregard her orders. Ultimately, Sheppard gets his way and his actions end up making an already bad situation worse when his intervention allows the nano virus to spread to the mess hall and endanger the lives of everyone there. In the end, he puts HIS life on the line and his heroic actions save the day, but he is surprisingly unrepentant in his post-plague discussion with Weir.
WEIR: But you are not the one who decides what is and what is not a military situation. Now, both General O’Neill and Colonel Sumner warned me that you don’t respect the proper chain of command.
SHEPPARD: Well, sometimes I see a situation a little different than …
WEIR: No. Listen to me, John. Now, you endangered yourself and the lives of many others.
SHEPPARD: Because I thought it was the best course of action to take — and, by the way, I saved your ass.
WEIR: I know you did — but you have to trust me.
SHEPPARD: I do!
WEIR: Do you?
Sheppard is let off the hook (more or less) because he saves the day, but how different would his conversation with Weir have been had any of the individuals in that mess hall died? Should the legitimacy of one’s actions be contingent on their results? Please discuss.
SANCTUARY (114)
Hmmmm.
Hmmmmmmmmm.
My least favorite episode of the show’s five year run, probably the franchise’s seventeen season run. The story plods along at an unnervingly leisurely pace and the characters act – well – surprisingly out of character. Gone is the adorably curmudgeony McKay we’ve grown to know over the first half of the season, replaced by a miserable, humorless imposter. Our charming anti-hero, Sheppard, meanwhile, is transformed into a lovestruck schoolboy, picnicking on Atlantis and making the moves on a woman he barely knows. And when McKay calls him on it, Sheppard responds by almost throwing down with him. Dude, this is Rodney. Remember Rodney? The guy who saved your life two episodes back? The bulk of the episode is dedicated to entertaining the mysterious Chaya while McKay attempts to figure her out. Eventually, he learns the truth in a reveal that is at once strange and underwhelming. ”Yep, I’m an Ancient.” (Cue shoulder shrug). ”Let’s have cosmic intercourse.”
The episode is bookended by action sequences that, while exciting, don’t really make a whole lot of sense upon closer scrutiny. Why was the jumper attacked by darts in the opening? There was mention of a possible hive ship nearby but we never see it. And why is the planet attacked again at the end? Is it merely an enormous coincidence that the wraith just happened upon Proculus during the events of this episode (and while Chaya was away?)? Or have the wraith been demonstrating staggering patience by staking out the planet for generations, just waiting for an opportunity to strike?
Things bounce back in a BIG way in the next episode, Carl Binder’s brilliant Before I Sleep.
A reminder to cast your vote for your favorite Stargate mid-season two-parter for a chance to win some signed scripts. To ensure a fairer distribution of votes, I’ll be picking a random voter from the winning mid-season two-parter AND a random voter from one of the other nominated two-parters.
Polls close next Tuesday night!
Tagged: Atlantis, film and television, science fiction, scifi television, SF television, SGA, Stargate, Stargate: Atlantis, television 
June 13, 2012
June 13, 2012: Dark Matter at Comic Con! Save Lennox the dog! Days of Stargate Past, Atlantis! The Eye and The Defiant One! Vote on our favorite Stargate mid-season two-parter for a chance to win!
It looks like I will be in San Diego for Comic Con, signing copies of my SF comic book series, Dark Matter, at the Dark Horse booth (conveniently located steps away from where former Stargate scribe Remi Aubuchon will be overseeing the action at the Falling Skies booth). I’ll have the space for about an hour starting at 4:00 p.m. the afternoon of the 14th (after which it becomes a lemonade stand to raise money for vertiginous raccoons) so swing on by to get a comic signed, say hello to Akemi who’ll be working crowd control, have a shot at winning some awesome Stargate giveaways, and, of course, help the woozy raccoons.
Belfast receives worldwide attention – and not the good kind. A family fights to save their dog from being euthanized by the local authorities: No Justice, No Mercy for Lennox the Dog in Belfast. And you can go here to leave a comment: http://www.facebook.com/belfastcitycouncil
Back to our Stargate: Atlantis reminiscing…
THE EYE (111)
The big mid-season two-parter concludes in thunderous fashion. As the storm of the century rages, Atlantis is assailed from without and within. McKay struggles to save the city while Sheppard pulls out all the stops in an effort to save the lives of his people. Amid all of the surprises The Eye throws at you, the biggest shock is the body count. Sheppard kills some 60+ Genii soldiers over the course of this episode, gunning down a half-dozen and then killing 55 reinforcements by raising the Atlantis shield. One could argue that Sheppard is operating under the assumption that Kolya has executed Weir, that his actions are influenced by grief and anger, perhaps a desire for revenge. In my mind, however, Sheppard never has a choice. It’s kill or be killed. For me, far more telling is not the decision to turn on the shield and kill the reinforcements but the decision to take down Ladon without killing him. Sheppard demonstrates restraint and, in this pivotal instant, makes it clear he is not just out for revenge. He’s a man doing everything he can to rescue his friends.
A terrific character moment for McKay as well when, in the episode’s opening moments, he actually steps in front of Weir to face down a gun-toting Kolya. Rodney has come a long way since his introduction back in SG-1 and he continues to grow over the show’s five year run, but this moment is certainly one of the biggest steps in the evolution of his character.
As cool as the set looked with that driving rain battering the outskirts of the city, it was downright miserable for the cast and crew – but especially the cast. It was cold, wet, and damn hard to see and hear. And, to top it all off, in one outtake that didn’t make the gag reel, actor David Hewlett was on the receiving end of an errant punch that knocked the wind out of him. But in decidedly unMcKay-like fashion, David shrugged it off and kept right on going.
THE DEFIANT ONE (112)
Peter DeLuise’s last script for the Stargate franchise is a terrific episode with the feel of an old Western – a duel to the death between two worthy warriors, battling it out against a dusty desert backdrop. We see a return of a life form surprisingly similar to one we’ve encountered before (back in SG-1′s Prodigy), a species that figures into a clever conclusion.
Here, we see the horrifying effects of the wraith’s feeding process – not death but pretty damn close. Another step in the evolution of the McKay character as he wrestles between staying safe and watching over a fallen comrade, or going out and helping Sheppard. And, when that fallen comrade takes his own life, Rodney doesn’t hesitate, putting his own life at risk to make a timely intervention and save John.
Cast your vote for your favorite Stargate mid-season two-parter for a chance to win some signed scripts.
Tagged: Comic Books, Comic Con, Comics, Dark Matter, Dark Matter comic, science fiction, scifi television, SF, SF television, SGA, Stargate, Stargate: Atlantis 
June 12, 2012
June 12, 2012: Pirates! Days of Stargate Past – Atlantis! Home and The Storm! Pick your favorite Stargate mid-season two-parter and WIN!
You know you’re in a skeevy neighborhood when a grown man tries to sell you six of his hand-drawn pirate pictures for five dollars. I had parked the car around the corner from Akemi’s language school and was hanging around out front, waiting for her class to finish, when I was approached by a fellow who, appropriately enough, looked the swashbuckling sort with his scruffy appearance, gap-toothed grin, and big-buttoned jacket. ”Hey, check these out,”he said, sidling up to me and flipping through a sketchbook. ”Pretty cool. Pirates.” They were indeed pictures of pirates but, sadly, they were far from cool – or even competent. Rough, half-finished, they were the type of half-ass drawings with which a three year old pirate enthusiast would surely find fault. ”And here’s a saloon,” flipping to a sketch of a sparse chandelier, bar, and some enormous breasts in a corset. ”You get six pictures for five dollars. That’s a really good deal.”
As much as I admired his industrious attitude and unique angle, it all fell apart for me in the execution. That and the fact that I wasn’t really in the market for pirate pictures. I did have a hankering for tacos but, in all fairness, it’s doubtful I would bought some off him even if he had been selling them.
If you’re looking to score change from passersby, I think a sense of humor would go a long way…
Continuing our trip down Atlantis memory lane…
HOME (109)
My favorite episodes to write are the kind that throw the audience a curveball. Things seems straightforward enough but, gradually, things take a turn for the weird and, slowly but surely, one begins to realize that not all is as it seems. I’m talking about episodes like This Mortal Coil, Revelations and, of course, Home in which our heroes are presented with a means of returning to Earth, an opportunity they take only to learn they can’t go back to Atlantis. Or so it would seem… The hints that something is amiss are subtle at first (follow Weir’s appearing/disappearing necklace) but, as the episode progresses, the clues leave no doubt that the team (and audience) are being played.
The original draft of the script had Teyla joining John on an exploration of Earth – a walk in the park, stopping for ice cream. I loved the fish-out-of-water aspects of the sequence and the subtle suggestions of a burgeoning romance, but the network wasn’t as enthusiastic so I ended up losing those scenes in the rewrite.
Torri Higginson’s adorable dog, Sedge, makes a brief cameo in this episode, appearing as Simon’s adorable dog…Sedge.
Well into Atlantis’s fifth year, I kept pitching that we should end a season with Weir, Sheppard, McKay, Teyla, and Ford waking up on the mist planet.
THE STORM (110)
While his first Stargate script, Childhood’s End, saw Martin Gero getting a feel for the new series, these two episodes saw him hit his stride. As far as Stargate mid-season two-parters go, I think The Storm/The Eye combo is pretty damn hard to beat. The suspense mounts as the storm of the century approaches, Atlantis scrambles to respond and, just when it seems it can’t get any worse, enter one of Atlantis’s most fearsome villains: Acastus Kolya. It’s Die Hard on a floating city wracked by a hurriciane as Sheppard attempts to stay one step ahead of the Genii commander who seemingly holds all the cards in holding Weir and McKay. There are some tense moments, terrific action and, sprinkled throughout, flashes of Gero’s trademark humor. The amusing back-and-forth between McKay and Zelenka develops what will become one of the most enjoyable (to watch) working relationships in Stargate’s lengthy run. Lord Smeadon, excised from Martin’s first draft of Childhood’s End, makes a reappearance here – with a vengeance.
So what do you guys think? What was the greatest mid-season two-parter in Stargate history? The nominees are:
Weigh in and then leave a comment, letting us know why you voted the way you did. I’ll pick a random supporter of the winning two-parter and they’ll receive autographed copies of the scripts.
Polls close next Tuesday night!
Tagged: Atlantis, scifi t.v., SF television, SGA, Stargate, Stargate: Atlantis
June 11, 2012
June 11, 2012: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Batman Forever!
Batman Forever. Well, at almost two hours running time, it sure feel dat way. After box office suckcess of first two Batman movies, studio reward Tim Burton by replacing him as direktor and changing tone of franchise to make it less dark and more kid friendly. Result is movie about as stoopid as Batman Returns wit bonus homoerotik subtext dat make Ernie and Bert’s housewarming party feel like pub night at de dockyard.
Performances vary. Val Kilmer, our new Bruce Wayne/Batman, seem to be doing imitashun of a boring Michael Keaton – but, in all fairness, Michael Keaton did imitashun of a boring Michael Keaton in first two installments. On opposite end of spektrum is Jim Carey who play Edward Nigma/Riddler with so over-de-top cartoon craziness, monster surprized he not burst a brain vessel during produktion. Tommy Lee Jones as Two-Face try to keep up de mania but Jimmy leave him in de dust. Chris O’Donnell play Robin, Bruce Wayne’s boy toy sidekick, Robin. And finally, dere’s Nicole Kidman as Dr. Chase Meridien (me surprized to learn dis aktually NOT name of a bank) who show up to play role of stereotypical love interest/far-fetched intellektual/damsel in dis dress.
Val Kilmer does imitashun of his dummy at Madame Tussaud’s Wax Museum…for de entire movie!
Movie open on shots of Batman suiting up, lingering on his bat nipples and giant codpiece. It very important becuz director Joel Schumacher bookend dis embarrassing shot in final suit-up montage with lingering shot of Batman’s ass.
Yes, dey ARE happy to see you. VEEEEERY happy.
Batman jump into Batmobile (which, for some reazon, has been redezigned with a fin) and races away to save a hostage from Two-Face. On his way, he meet up with seksy Dr. Chase Meridian, a psykiatrist who, it turn out, could use a psykiatrist herself.
Batman’s sharkmobile. When it went up for auktion, winner had to promise not to drive it in publik. Monster guess WB didn’t want to be reminded.
Anybody worried dat dis movie will be any less stoopid dan last one will be encouraged by first aktion sequence dat make absolutely no sense. Batman gets trapped in vault wit hostage and has to use hostage’s hearing aid to pick de lock while vault fills wit acid. Why is vault filling wit acid? Becuz Two Face wants to make sure he kills Batman! Den why not just drop vault off side of building instead of trying to fly away wit it? Oh, becuz Two Face wants to steal de money inside! Okay, den why is vault filling wit acid? Oh, becuz Two Face wants to make sure he kills Batman! Den why not just drop…
Tommy Lee Jones should know better den to get into a scenery chew-off wit Jim Carey.
Batman saves hostage, crashes helicopter into Statue of Liberty, but survives – and bad guys get away.
After blowing off loony scientist, Edward Nigma, who be working on some sort of invention involving t.v. signals and brain waves, Bruce Wayne suits up and answers bat signal. But it turn out it a false alarm. Bat Signal not turned on by Commishiuner Gordon. It was turned on by Chase Meridian so she can greet Batman in seksy dress. WTF? SHE is a psykiatrist? She so obviously crazy me convinced she really a surprize supervillain. But it turn out monster give writer too much credit.
Bruce Wayne invite Chase Meridian for a date at de circus (?) which is being broadcast live (?). Two Face show up and demand Batman reveal his identity or he will blow up everyone in de big top. Bruce Wayne stands up and shouts: “I am Batman!” but nobody care becuz Tommy Lee Jones giving a far more interesting performance. Akrobats try to stop Two Face and are all killed except (not so) young Dick Grayson who gets rid of bomb and saves everyone. Except his family.
Bruce decide to adopt Dick – which would be okay except dat, later in movie, Batman refers to him as a “college student”, meaning he be at least 18 years old. So Bruce Wayne trying to adopt another man! And when Dick say he not interested, sugar daddy Bruce bribe him wit his own motorcycle.
Meanwhile, plenty of stoopid tings happen. Batmobile races up side of building. Edward Nigma take supervillain persona of de Riddler, inspired by a Riddler bobble-head doll. He selling speshul t.v. dat does – monster not sure what – to people in Gotham. Riddler drop in on Two Face and dey team up against Batman while…
Jim Carey in most restrained performance since Ace Ventura Pet Detective.
Back at stately Wayne manor, Dick show off his kung fu laundry moves. Really. He strut his stuff, squeezing out his laundry and hanging it up on de Wayne manor clothesline – becuz, me guess, Bruce Wayne too cheap to buy a dryer. Does he also make Alfred cook his meals over de fireplace?
Edward Nigma trows party. He suggest Bruce try out his weird brainwave t.v. For some reazon, brilliant Bruce Wayne tink dis is a good idea and takes him up on his offer. Den, Two Face crash party. Batman chases him away and almost killed but saved by Dick.
Dis movie like campy 60′s t.v. version but nowhere near as smart.
Riddler and Two Face take a peek at Bruce Wayne’s stolen brainwaves and see a bat so dey figure he must be Batman becuz NOBODY else in Gotham would ever tink of a bat! Riddler and Two Face crash Wayne manor, shoot Bruce Wayne in de head and…don’t kill him even tho that’s what they’ve been trying to do for de entire movie. Instead, dey blow up batcave, leave a riddle and kidnap Chase.
Bruce and Alfred put their heads together and figure out Riddler’s riddles. Each has a number. Each number corresponds to a letter of de alfabet: MRE. Mr. E! Mystery! Or another word for mystery be enigma! Mr. Enigma! Great and SO WHAT?! Instead of wasting time solving riddles, why not look up in de sky where Riddler shining a giant “?” and follow de source of de “?”-signal back to his hideout?
Dick show up, now in costume (dat Alfred made for him). Dey head out, Batman and Robin, partners!
Batman and Robin crash Riddler’s HQ. Robin almost kill Two Face but save him instead so he captured. Batman given choice – save Chase or Robin. He saves both. Den, he kill Two Face by confusing him wit multiple coins, and drive Riddler crazy by turning his brainwave machine against him.
Movie end wit Riddler at Arkham Asylum, convinced he is Batman. Bruce Wayne, meanwhile, gets de girl and live happily ever after wit Chase Meridian. Just like he lived happily ever after wit Vicky Vale.
VERDIKT: Great set designs and costumes. Crummy skript. Same old story for de Batman franchise. Mebbe dey get it right de next time.
RATING: 3 chocolate chippee cookies out of 10.
Next week, me review Mighty Morphin Power Rangers:
Monster have a feeling dis movie gonna be de shit.
Tagged: Batman, Batman Forever, Comic Books, Comics, Cookie Monster, Cookie Monster reviews Batman Forever, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, superhero movies, SuperMovie of the Week Club
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