Joseph Mallozzi's Blog, page 495

July 9, 2012: The Supermovie of the Week Club Reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Spawn!

Ever have it when you need to write skript for movie, but tings are going slow so you invite Count and Big Bird to your place for drinks but you do too many jagermeister shots and one of girlz Count bring wit him slip roofie into your beer chaser and you wake up next morning wit no pants, no wallet, but finished skript you wrote in drunken, drug-addled, three hour stupor?  No?  Well, monster suspekt screenwriter of Spawn VERY familiar wit dis scenario – or someting close to it – becuz it next to impossible to write a skript so convoluted in a fully conscious state.

Movie begin wit narrator delivering preamble to help make complikated movie slightly less baffling.  Den, we introduced to our hero, Al Simmons, who work for CIA-like agency A-6.  Well, not exactly hero becuz he have no problem killing room full of innocent air traffic controllers in very first scene!  Anyhoo, anti-hero Al want to quit de biz but his boss, Jason (played by gravely voice Martin Sheen) send him on one final op.  Of course, it be a set-up.  Boss Jason conspire wit some clown (No, seriously.  A real clown) and double-cross Al wit help of sexy assassin Priest.  Jason burnt, den blown up for good meazure.

President Bartlett!

Al wake up in some Gothik city dressed like burn victim hobo.  Somehow, he find his way back to his house (#364 bus out of Rat City go right to suburbia!) and make several unpleasant diskoveries: 1. Five years have passed.  2. His best friend get wit his wife.  3. His wife no longer recognize him – and find him kinda gross.

Luckily, he meet up wit some clown (No, seriously.  A real clown!) who explain everyting.

No.  Really.

Al died, sent to Hell, met BAD CG devil, and agreed to lead his army in exchange for chance to see his wife again.   He get new name…SPAWN!  Admittedly, cooler den Al.

Oh Hell

Spawn want REVENGE!  So, like practically every comic book villain in movie history, he crash some high falootin’ party.  He shot at.  He eskape – but not before killing Priest who says someting like: “You don’t have the guts” before getting shot.  Monster’s question is: Why in de world would she tink he WOULDN’T shoot?

Spawn get away.  Outside, he get into argument wit some clown (No, seriously.  A real clown!) in middle of street in full view of cops who obviously have more important tings to worry about.

At dis point, you can be excused for asking: WTF (What the Fudgee-o?) is going on? What de hell is Spawn supposed to be doing?  Leading devil’s army?  Okay, so where de army at?

Instead, Spawn diskover new powerz.  Learn to control his armor.  Go back to Rat City and make new friends: milquetoast guy wit hat and, of course, an adorable street urchin.

Pointy

Spawn stalk his wife.  Follows her to place where she is giving speech.  For some reazon, she leaves daughter all alone in gymnasium.  Oh, wait.  Monster know de reazon.  So dat Spawn can find her and have nice chat.  Some clown show up (No, seriously.  A REAL clown!) dressed up as cheerleader.  He prance around and sing. Further undermining any hope dat dis be a movie anyone going to take seriously, clown also fart green gas, pull out and study his skidmark underwear, and eat maggot pizza.  Ho ho ho.  Screenwriter must have had all sort of fun spinning dese ideas wit his son’s daycare class.

Spawn finally get as tired of dis clown as audience and de two fight.  Clown transform into…another BAD CG monster.

Scary, no? No.

Dey fight!  Violator win!  Dey go back to Spawn’s place.  Dey fight some more!  Wit help of milquetoast hat man, Spawn take unmemorable trip to Hell, defeat clown/Violator by cutting off his head, AND beat up Jason for good meazure.

Movie end wit narrator summing up what we already know, holding threat of potenshul sekwel over our heads.

VERDICT: Dis one had potenshul to be dark, smart, and creepy but, instead, turn out to be silly, stupid, and confusing.  Was clown supposed to be scary?  Or intentionally lame?

RATING: 2.5 chocolate chippee cookies.

Next week’s movie – Steel starring noted thespian Shaquille O’Neal:

Oof.

Tagged: Cookie Monster, Cookie Monster film reviews, Cookie Monster movie reviews, Cookie monster reviews Spawn, Spawn, superhero films, superhero movies, superheroes, SuperMovie of the Week Club

July 8, 2012: 6 Days to Comic Con! Days of Stargate: Atlantis Past! Michael!

Heading to Comic Con in a little less than a week to do a signing for my comic book, Dark Matter, and I thought it would be nice to offer those who swing by a shot at winning some cool giveaways.  In addition to copies of Dark Matter‘s first issue, I’ll also be offering up a shot at winning some Stargate-related merchandise like the signed script I featured in yesterday’s entry or this SG-1 100th Episode commemorative photo frame and keychain.  Awesome, no?  If you’ve got tickets for Comic Con (apparently they’re already sold out ) come on by for a chance to win:

Saturday, July 14th between 4:00 – 5:00 p.m. at the Dark Horse Booth (#2615).

Hey, JYS – what restaurants have you got lined up?

A big thanks to Blake Linton, Kelley Hirst, Chad Hansen, Joseph Sardone, Martin James Keating, TheDudeDean and all the fans who helped Stargate: Universe clean up at the Constellation Awards the other day.  The show took home awards in the categories of Best Series, Best Actress (Ming-Na), Best Script (Twin Destinites), Best Technical Achievement (Joel Goldsmith), and Best Canadian Contribution to SF.

Congratulations also go out to my buddy James Coleridge who took home the prize for Best Gelato at the Florence Gelato Festival in (where else?) Italy.  I’m not surprised.  Ever since arriving in Vancouver, Akemi has always drawn comparisons between the food here and the food back in Tokyo.  It was always: “This isn’t very good. It’s better in Tokyo.” or “This is good, but it’s better in Tokyo.” or “This is great!  But it’s still better in Tokyo.”.  Until we went to Bella Gelateria (where James plies his tasty trade).  After sampling the ice cream there, it was the first and only time I’d heard her say: “This is better than Tokyo!”  Welcome to Bella Gelateria – Home of Old-World Handcrafted Gelato

Cool time-lapse video courtesy of the Image Science & Analysis Laboratory at the NASA Johnson Space Center:

Head on over and check out the cool space pics as well: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/07/03/this-is-our-planet-iss-video-tomislav-safundzic_n_1646944.html?utm_hp_ref=mostpopular

Three more episodes left to discuss in our stroll down Stargate: Atlantis memory lane…

MICHAEL (218)

In its earliest inception (under the working title Charly, a tip of the hat to Daniel Keyes’ Flowers for Algernon), the story tracked the capture of the wraith, his transformation, and the subsequent attempt to keep him in the dark which, of course, ends in a spectacular failure.  It was interesting but lacked something.  And, it was while we were in Carl’s office, discussing the fact that it needed some sort of twist, that I suggested we tell the story from Michael’s P.O.V.  Rather than let the viewers in on it from the get-go, make them an audience to the mystery.  This would allow them to connect with Michael and sympathize with him – and be thoroughly blindsided when we pulled the rug out from underneath them with the big reveal.  It was a small change in approach but it made quite a difference in execution.

Writer/Producer Carl Binder came through BIG TIME, delivering a gripping, emotionally resonant story that is at turns suspenseful, thought-provoking, and surprisingly controversial.  I love the little hints he sprinkles throughout the beginning of the episode – the fact that everyone is wary with the exception of Ronon who is downright hostile, Michael’s identification of the wealth technology, his nightmare, Teyla’s anxious look when he pins her during their sparring sessions and slams his hand down on her chest.  Brilliant.   And equally brilliant is the shocking “DAY 12″ – “DAY 10″ – “DAY 1″ session reveal.  As far as arc-driven episodes go, this one is seminal, developing the retrovirus and introducing one of the most complex villains in Stargate history.

Another standout guest star in Connor Trinneer whose portrayal of the confused and vulnerable Michael Kenmore elicits great sympathy, even in the darkest moments.

Rachel is equally terrific in this episode as Teyla demonstrates genuine compassion for a former enemy – something she will come to regret in later episodes.

Anybody catch McKay’s complaint about the lack of blue jello in the mess, an obvious callback to the blue jello references of SG-1?

One of the episode’s unintentionally amusing moments takes place in the infirmary where Michael spots the “Kenmore” calendar.  Perhaps even more startling than the coincidence of the shared name is the fact that Carson has marked one of the calendar days as “Dinner with Cadman”.  Word of advice to Carson: If you want to impress the girl you’re dating, start calling her by her first name.

This episode opens up the floor to some interesting moral and ethical debates.  An exchange late in the episode nicely encapsulates the dilemma:

HEIGHTMEYER:  We can’t kill him, Ronon. We’re the ones who put him in this position.

SHEPPARD: Hold on a minute, Doc. If we hadn’t given him the retrovirus, he’d still be a Wraith. We wouldn’t think twice about killing him.

TEYLA: But we did give him the retrovirus. We made him human. Now we have the responsibility to treat him as we would any other …

DEX (interrupting): He’s not human. He’s a Wraith.

In retrospect, the Michael experiment delivers mixed results.  On the one hand, it is a failure in that it costs an expedition member his life and creates a powerful new enemy with dangerous knowledge of Atlantis’s existence.  On the other hand, the transformation does work – albeit briefly – and offers hope of a powerful new weapon against the wraith.   And there’s something to be said for Sheppard’s “If we hadn’t given him the retrovirus, he’d still be a Wraith. We wouldn’t think twice about killing him.” argument since, despite the criticism directed at the retrovirus, it IS a far more humane alternative to simply killing the enemy.

What do you think?

Tagged: Atlantis, Bella Gelateria, comic book, Comic Con, Comics, Constellation Awards, Dark Matter, ice cream, James Coleridge, Michael, science fiction, Science Fiction Television, scifi t.v., SF television, SGA, SGU, Stargate, Stargate Universe, Stargate: Atlantis

July 7, 2012: 7 Days to Comic Con! A Stargate Reunion – of sorts! Days of Stargate: Atlantis Past! Coup D’Etat!

So, I’m prepping for Comic Con, selecting giveaway items for the fans who will visit my booth – accidentally assuming it’s a Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along-related signing only to discover the truth to late!  The gate will be shut and locked behind them for the duration of my hour long meandering reminiscences of all the places we used to order lunch from while I was on Stargate.  In addition, I’ll be signing copies of my comic series, Dark Matter.  And, like I said, giving some stuff away: maybe a two dollar Canadian coin, maybe a lucky button, maybe a signed script – like the one pictured above.  I thought that, rather than just signing the title page, I would further devalue the script with the addition of sarcastic commentary interspersed throughout.  It’ll make for an entertaining read.  Provided you can read my handwriting.  Which is unlikely.

Speaking of Stargate, I ran into a couple of familiar faces from my SG-1 days this afternoon while taking the dogs for a walk on the beach. First up – Beefcake Alert! -

It’s Sgt. Siler (a.k.a. Dan Shea, former Stargate: SG-1 Stunt Coordinator).

Dan is hard at work on Psych’s seventh season – and, of course, working on his tan.  I recall that he and Martin Wood wore shorts ALL YEAR ROUND and were always the first ones in t-shirts at the first signs of winter’s end, even if it was only slightly above freezing. Eternal optimists.  And probably really cold most of the time as well.

Then, further along the path, I ended up running into one of my favorite System Lords -

Heru’ur, played by Douglas H. Arthurs. Last seen in SG-1 Serpent’s Venom when he was double-crossed by Apophis.

We chatted Stargate, how much quieter the industry is here in Vancouver compared to Toronto, and conventions.  Very nice guy.

This wraps up a week-long Stargate reunion that kicked off Tuesday night when I met up with some of my former colleagues for drinks and churros…

Writer/Director/Master Spinner/Executive Producer Robert C. Cooper and Associate Producer Jennifer Johnson.

Script Coordinator Lawren Bancroft- Wilson and Special Features Producer Ivon Bartok.

Part-time Blogger Joseph Mallozzi and Post-Production Coordinator Kerry McDowall.

From SG-1 to Atlantis, let’s continue to reflect back on SGA’s second season.  Up for discussion today…

COUP D’ETAT (217)

It’s funny.  Working on the show, we’d take in so many versions of an episode (from spinning the story to breaking it to commenting on the outline to reading the various drafts to watching the dailies and director’s cut and producer’s cuts and various mixes) that, by the time a completed version was available, time constraints would already have us moving on to the next episode.  I mean, sure, by the time we got to that Day 2 mix, the episode would be all but done – minus a few finished visual effects that would be approved as shots or sequences at a later date – but it was rare we would sit down to watch a finished episode for pleasure.  I remember thinking Coup D’Etat a good episode back in the day, but I didn’t realize quite how good until I reviewed it for this trip down memory lane.  I likes me some political intrigue and this episode had it in spades, with some surprising little twists and turns.  I mean, sure, we all knew Major Lorne wasn’t really dead, but did you see the Cowan double-cross coming?  How about the Ladon triple-cross?

Another solid episode made all that much better by some fantastic guest stars.  The story was originally conceived with the character of Kolya pulling the strings but, with Robert Davi unavailable, it was rewritten for the character of Ladon.  Ryan Robbins was terrific and Colm Meaney equally great in his final appearance as Cowan.

My only bump in this episode was seeing McKay on point when they storm the facility.  I mean, sure, it makes sense for him to be on the op since they’re looking to retrieve a ZPM, but it doesn’t make sense for him to be leading the attack.

In retrospect, one of my favorite episodes of Atlantis’s second season.

Tagged: Atlantis, Comic Books, Comic Con, Comics, Coup d'Etat, Dark Matter, San Diego Comic Con, science fiction, Science Fiction Television, scifi television, SF, SF television, SGA, Stargate, Stargate: Atlantis

July 6, 2012: The Comic Con Approacheth! Days of Stargate: Atlantis Past! The Long Goodbye!

It’s official.  I WILL be doing  a signing in support of my comic book series, Dark Matter, at the upcoming San Diego Comic Con.  NOT in the parking lot or out of my hotel room but INSIDE the actual convention center!

WHEN?  Saturday, July 14th.  4:00 p.m.

WHERE?  Dark Horse Comics  booth number #2615.

WHY SHOULD YOU COME BY?  Because I’ll be signing copies of Dark Matter #1 AND giving away some Stargate-related goodies as well.  Also, Akemi will be on hand to answer any Tokyo or Osaka-related questions and rough up anyone who gets out of line.

Don’t mess with Akemi. She will decapitate you like a profiterole.

Let’s talk Stargate – specifically, Stargate: Atlantis’s second season episode…

THE LONG GOODBYE (216)

While the premise was great, this episode suffered from a very tight turnaround on the script.  It was only days from outline approval to first draft followed by a rewrite under similar time constraints.  The result = an episode that, while engaging, does give rise to a number of questions.  Questions like…Wh

Why does everyone automatically believe that it is Weir they are speaking to and not the alien entity that has entered her body?

Why does Sheppard, the city’s highest ranking military officer, recklessly allow himself to be possessed by an alien entity?

In retrospect, I think these issues could have been addressed by having both Weir and Sheppard struck at the same time while both pods are being studied.  Both go down and are transported to the infirmary but it is Weir who comes to first.  By the time she, Phebus/Weir, realizes the situation she’s in, Thalen/Sheppard is awake and on the run.

If Phebus is so eager to “win the war” by killing her old rival, why doesn’t she do it while he’s still in the pod and vulnerable?  It can’t be because of any consequences she may face at the hands of the Atlantis crew because she knows she has only a few hours to live, readily admitting as much earlier.  It can be “the thrill of the hunt” because, at episode’s end, she orders Teyla to drag her bound enemy into camera range so she (Phebus) can watch Teyla kill him.

This too could have been addressed by rolling with the aforementioned scenario.  If she never has the opportunity to kill him off the top, this isn’t an issue.

Why the hell is McKay unloading a weapon in John’s direction?  He’s smart enough to realize that he could kill Sheppard.

This one’s simple.  DON’T have McKay fire on Sheppard.

Phebus threatens to turn on (what is a deadly version of) the Halon fire suppression system and kill everyone on Atlantis.  Why would the city be outfitted with a highly toxic fire suppression system?  Are they cheaper than sprinklers?

Rather than go with Halon, which suggests they were an “after-market addition” on the part of the Atlantis crew, why not have the city’s last ditch fail safe protocol be an immediate lockdown and sealing of the affected areas followed by either a venting of oxygen or piping in of CO2?  Both would do the trick.

There is one interesting suggestion late in the episode when Teyla has Thalen/Sheppard lined up for the kill shot.  As Thalen faces certain death, he informs her: ” If you kill me, you’re killing him. He cares for you more than you know.” Thalen, of course, has access to Sheppard’s memories and thoughts, so the question here is “Is Thalen saying this because John believes Teyla loves him?  Or is he saying this because John loves Teyla?”.  Intriguing.

The best part of this episode was getting to see Weir/Torri kick ass.

Thoughts?

Tagged: Atlantis, Comic Books, Comic Con, Comics, Dark Horse, Dark Horse Comics, Dark Matter, San Diego Comic Con, science fiction, science fiction comic books, Science Fiction Television, SF comic books, SF television, SGA, Stargate, Stargate: Atlantis, The Long Goodbye

July 5, 2012: Days of Stargate: Atlantis Past! The Tower! And Dogs Eating Ice Cream!

THE TOWER (215)

In first season or so on the Stargate franchise, my writing partner and I co-wrote scripts in the truest sense of the term.  We actually sat (or paced) in an office, bouncing ideas and dialogue off each other, hammering out every scene and every line in the script.  Eventually, we found it easier (and faster) to simply pitch the script back and forth between us.  I’d write a scene, send it his way, then he would rewrite the scene, write the next one, and send it my way.  I would re-rewrite his rewrite of the first scene, rewrite the second scene, and move on to the third.  And so on.  As the demands of production increased, it simply became easier to write our own first drafts and then have our partner do a pass on that.  By the time Atlantis was in its second season, we were at this third stage of our writing partnership.  I came up with the initial kernel of an idea involving a sister Atlantis, but it was the writing department that developed the story while Paul did the lion’s share (aka = all) of the work on this one.  And what the hell was I doing?  Well, given the timing, I believe I was either rewriting Ripple Effect, writing The Scourge, or locked in my office making plans for my next trip to Tokyo.

Lots of humorous moments in this one and great visual cues, one of my favorite being the segue that juxtaposes the polite table manners of the downtrodden villagers to the boorish behavior of the so-called nobles.  Also, as far as great exchanges go, this is one of my favorites:

OTHO: This is terrible. I knew Tavius was cruel and vindictive, but to want to murder his own father?

SHEPPARD: Raising children can be very dangerous.

And later, after he ends up getting tossed in a cell with Sheppard, Beckett’s lament: “I really need to stop making house calls.”

Actor Jay Brazeau (Harlan from SG-1′s Tin Man and Double Jeopardy) returns to the franchise, this time playing the ailing Lord Protector who places his trust in the wrong person.  Peter Woodward is delightfully devilish as the scheming Otho.  Brendan Beiser (who used to play basketball with former Stargate script coordinator Alex Levine) was an unbelievably pleasant surprise as the scene-stealing Tavius.  And, of course, those of you watching Martin Gero’s new show, The L.A. Complex, will recognize Chelan Simmons who plays the role of Mara here (Alicia Lowe there).

The episode’s colorful characters were matched by some equally colorful costumes, rentals actually because the wardrobe department was swamped by the demands of two productions.

Finally, loved the fact that Atlantis gets to supplement its supply of puddle jumpers and drones – but this is one of those stories that simply begged for a follow-up episode.

Summer has finally arrived.  And you know what that means!  Yes.  It’s time for…

DOGS EATING ICE CREAM…

Tagged: Atlantis, dogs eating ice cream, science fiction, Science Fiction Television, scifi television, SF television, SGA, Stargate, Stargate: Atlantis, The Tower

July 4, 2012: News of Note! Days of Stargate: Atlantis Past! Grace Under Pressure!

News of note:

Save Lennox: Time Runs Out For ‘Death Row’ Dog In Belfast (PICTURES, VIDEO).  From heartless to heartless AND spiteful.  Belfast Council has even ignored offers to “ to pay the expenses to relocate Lennox from Northern Ireland and bring him to the US to a sanctuary and freedom”.  Shame on Belfast City Council.  And there’s a handy “complaints” option on their website here: http://www.belfastcity.gov.uk/index.asp

Scientists believe they’ve found ‘God Particle’ .  I didn’t even know they’d misplaced it.  (And, just in case: ‘God particle’ for dummies or this: If you were thinking, “What’s the deal with this Higgs Boson? And can somebody explain it to me in cartoon form?” well… you’re welcome [PSA]).

OMG!  Chocolate?!  8 commodities you didn’t know were scarce – Yahoo! Finance Canada

This pretty much confirms everything I feel about this industry: 6 Terrible Decisions That Gave Us Great Movie Moments

10 of the Weirdest Futurist Scenarios for the Evolution of Humanity.  #7′s for Das.

And because they’re cool: Top 10 Fascinating Samurai

Resuming our merry jaunt down Stargate: Atlantis memory lane…

GRACE UNDER PRESSURE (214)

Back in SG-1′s seventh season, we did an episode in which Carter is stranded aboard the Earth ship Prometheus.  Injured and alone, she begins to hallucinate as she struggles to figure a way out of a seemingly impossible situation.  Her visions culminate in a visit by an imagined O’Neill – and a hot and heavy make-out session.  The episode was called Grace.  In Atlantis’s second season, we did an episode in which McKay is stranded inside a submerged/sinking jumper.  Injured and alone, he begins to hallucinate as he struggles to figure a way out of a seemingly impossible situation.  His vision takes the form of an imagined Carter – and culminates in a hot and heavy make-out session.  We decided to call this episode Grace Under Pressure.  The title works on so many levels.

When we were in production, we would look for ways to maximize the money we had to make the best and most spectacular-looking show possible.  One of the ways we did this was by redressing certain sets (The village set, for instance, was shot countless different ways, its cost amortized over the course of many seasons).  Another way we did this was by, every so often, shooting episodes simultaneously.  This provided us with a huge saving that could, in turn, be put toward bigger episodes later in the season (or pay for those big episodes we’d already shot).  Of course, pulling something like this off required heavy preparation, intricate schedule juggling, and a cast and crew who knew exactly what they were doing (ie. which stage they should be showing up at on the day).  Most importantly, an actor couldn’t be at two places at once so we had to ensure both scripts could be shot simultaneously by minimizing certain characters in one episode while maximizing them in others.  Oh, and it also helped to work with a brilliant, well-prepared actor.  Like David Hewlett.

And then, of course, there are the great performances by Amanda Tapping as the illusory Sam and David Nykl as the anxious Radek Zelenka who steps up and figures out a way to save the day – and his irritating rival.  There were other very good performances in this episode, but I thought that these three really stood out because they were not only engaging but memorable in offering insight into their respective characters (Yes, even though Sam was a figment of McKay’s imagination!).

Grace Under Pressure was “All McKay Almost All the Time!” and it worked beautifully.  Martin Gero delivered one of his strongest scripts of the season, a script that is not only wildly entertaining for one-man show, but clearly demonstrates a love and respect for the Rodney McKay character.  For his part, the ever-watchable David Hewlett is at his best, reminding us what we, as viewers, love and respect about Rodney McKay.  As if we could forget.

Favorite line: “

By the time Zelenka comes up with a plan, I’ll have died of old age!”

Tagged: Atlantis, David Hewlett, Grace Under Pressure, SGA, Stargate, Stargate: Atlantis

July 3, 2012: My Canada Day Weekend (or lack thereof)! Days of Stargate: Atlantis Past! Critical Mass!

I celebrated Canada Day in typical fashion: rewriting a script and then taking a break to attend some food-related event. We received the last batch of notes on our script for the miniseries early Saturday morning and, since my writing partner, Paul, was (conveniently) out of town and without computer access, it fell on me to start on the blue draft.  I worked through all of Saturday and most of Sunday, but did manage to get down to Steveston Village for the Canada Day Parade Canada Day festivities fish and chips.  Lulu tagged along and had a fantastic time being the center of attention, but I’m sure she’d tell you that it would have gone a whole lot better had the day the been comprised of more chips and less avoiding being stepped on by the crowd.

We parked a good ten minute walk from the village.  I had the foresight to take down the address of the house I parked in front of. And good thing I did too because I ended up having to use the MAP function of my iPhone to find my way back.  Without it, I’m sure we’d still be there today, wandering the neighborhood in search of my Q7.

While everyone else was taking in the parade, we made our way quickly dockside so that we could grab a table and early lunch before the hungry hordes descended.   Along the way, I snapped a few pics:

It’s all fun and games until someone gets pillaged.

This would’ve been sooo much easier with wheels.

Several brightly attired cultural representatives on display.  Please identify.

And here.

Here.  Indonesian, I believe.

And here.  Still Indonesian.

We met up with some of Akemi’s friends and enjoyed a rainy day lunc.

Popcorn shrimp.  And not the dry little nuggets you get at most chain restaurants.

Garlic prawn.  Akemi’s fave.

The best Manhattan clam chowder I’ve ever tasted.

Cute couple, no?

Lulu makes a new friend – another french bulldog named Tonka.

For dessert: a red velvet cupcake.  Maximum icing!

A shot of the elusive White Spot Chicken captured out of its natural habitat.

After lunch, I headed down to the docks and picked up some sea urchin.

Akemi’s uni soufflan.

So I’ve noticed that, over on Gateworld, they’re doing a Stargate Atlantis Season Two Rewatch which is (sort of) coinciding with my trip down SGA memory lane: Stargate Rewatch: Atlantis Season Two Join us throughout July for this month’s leg of the Stargate Rewatch! #SGRewatch   Rather than bull ahead at this 2-episodes-an-entry pace, I thought I’d slow it down a bit so that we could join in on the fun.  I’ll give each episode a more thorough treatment starting today and, in the meantime, you can head on over to Gateworld (http://www.gateworld.net/index.shtml) and start submitting nominations in the following categories:

Best Episode (Season Two)
Best Sheppard Moment
Best McKay Moment
Best Teyla Moment
Best Ronon Moment
Best Weir Moment
Best Beckett Moment
Best Team Moment
Best Alien Race
Best Individual Villain
Coolest Ancient Technology
Coolest Alien Technology
Best Guest Star (based on one specific Season Two episode)

So, picking up where we left off on Saturday, we continue our SGA reminiscing by looking back on…

CRITICAL MASS (213)

One of the great things about having a franchise run as long as Stargate did was the opportunity we had to create and develop a very rich backstory.  There were seemingly innumerable elements we could draw from in crafting new stories.  While this was hugely satisfying for us as writers and equally rewarding for longtime fans, there was always the risk of confusing or alienating casual viewers.  We tried to keep the two worlds of Stargate: SG-1 and Stargate: Atlantis as separate and distinct as possible but, occasionally, there were instances where crossover did occur.  Like in this episode.  I, for one, loved the idea of crossover when it came to characters, didn’t mind it when it came to shared mythology like the Ancients, but wasn’t exactly enamored of it when it came to unique aspects like, say, the goa’uld and the Trust.  I thought it was unnecessarily complex, potentially confusing, and, for lack of a better way of putting it, “wasn’t clean”.  And so, for these reasons, I objected to this story at the pitch stage.  But, as so often happen over the franchise’s 17 season run, I was overruled and they went ahead and produced a pretty damn good episode.

It should be noted that I wasn’t the only one who had issues with this episode in its early stages.  Some of the cast members objected to the introduction of SG-1 elements for completely different reasons: they felt Atlantis had to stand on its own and any crossover somehow minimized it as a unique series.  While I sympathized, I nevertheless felt that crossover was a good thing, strengthening both shows and the franchise as a whole.  Others found the story muddled (as result, the episode was renamed Critical Mess by some).  But, in the end, while the presence of a go’auld on Atlantis still feels strange to me, the story is dynamic and suspenseful, building to a terrific surprise reveal and nail-biter of a conclusion

Rachel Luttrell makes her television singing debut in this episode with a song (“Beyond the Night”) composed by the late Joel Goldsmith and his sister Ellen, with lyrics by Stargate’s own Paul Simon = Carl Binder.

Some of my favorite parts of this episode have nothing to do with the main storyline.  They all involve Zelenka who gets sent off-world by Rodney to help out those lovable scamps from the Childhood’s End planet.  Zelenka’s angry mutterings “My sister has a child.  He breaks things.  He throws things.  He smears things onto furniture.” fairly encapsulates my feelings toward kids as well.  And the poor guy ends up getting stranded on the planet while Atlantis dealt with more pressing issues.  Come on, fan fic writers!  Where are the Zelenka/Lord of the Flies stories?

Interesting guest stars abound in this episode.  There’s Mitch Pileggi reprising his role as Colonel Caldwell, Ben Cotton returning as the ever-annoying, Kavanaugh, SG-1′s Gary Jones as Harriman, and the great Beau Bridges as General Landry.  I say “great” because, not only is Beau a great actor, but he was truly great to work with.  And then there’s Hermiod, the cranky Asgard, who takes part in one of my favorites exchanges:

Hermiod: Dr Kavanagh?.

Kavanagh: Yes?

Hermiod: Stop talking, please. (Silence) Thank you.

It’s also great to see Bill Down, a.k.a. Dr. Lee, make a return appearance.  He presides over another great moment when Lee is trying to explain the relay plan to a roomful of scientists.  His first example, “the twilight bark” from 101 Dalmations, receives nothing but blank stares.  But his second example of Gondor’s fire signals from Lord of the Rings has everyone nodding appreciably.  NEEERDS!

In defending Cadman, Sheppard dismisses her as a suspect because she’s trustworthy while Weir initially casts suspicion on Kavanaugh because he’s not.  Given the fact that everyone knows the goa’uld are behind the threat, doesn’t it seem odd that no one ever floats the possibility that someone may have been implanted with a symbiote?

Weir crosses the line, something that makes her uncomfortable and that she readily admits to at episode’s end.  By giving Ronon the go-ahead to torture Kavanaugh, she makes a most uncharacteristic decision under extreme circumstances.  Personally, I don’t blame her. I would have made the same call.  Still, she’s a better person than I am so I hold her to a higher standard.  Thoughts?  Was it the right call?

Tagged: Atlantis, Critical Mass, SGA, Stargate, Stargate: Atlantis

July 2, 2012: The Supermovie of the Week Club Reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Batman and Robin!

Batmand and Robin be de filmic equivalent of explosive garden vegetable diarrhea. Exciting, sometime pretty to look at, but it still crap.  Dis movie be Joel Schumacher’s master piece (of shit).  Terruble on almost every level.

Movie begin wit Schumacher’s patented codpiece and rubber ass shots. It den seque into one of de worst aktion sekwences in Batman franchize history wit Batman and Robin skating around wit a bad guy hockey team, stick handling a diamond like a puck. And it downhill from dere.

Arnold Schwarzenneger play role of brilliant Mr. Freeze wit all de depth and nuance of, well, Arnold Schwarzenegger desperately trying to akt. He spend de entire movie trowing out lame quippy lines like: “You’re not taking me to de cooler” and “Stay cool”.

Mr. Freeze One-Liner.

Meanwhile, in a sekwence dat look like a kid’s funhouse come to life, some crazy scientist inject a weakling wit a serum dat transform him into a Mexican pro-wrestler = Bane.  He become muscle (and occasional chauffeur) to mousey scientist assistant who mutated by lab chemikals into..de sexy (???) Poison Ivy!

Oooh, sexy.  Check out de hair horns.

Hulk Bane smash!!!

Back at Wayne manor, all sorts of not interesting tings happening. Alfred supposedly dying of (coinsidentally!) de same disease dat Mrs. Freeze suffer from.  Alfred’s niece, Barbara arrive from London (where she apparently forget her English accent) and move in.  Robin, meanwhile, spend de entire movie whining about how he second fiddle to Batman but, meanwhile, have no problem living at his place rent free, eating his food and riding his motorcycle.  Batman/Bruce Wayne, on de other hand, a big dud in dis movie.  Again.  George Clooney play de role like he got someting else he’d rather be doing.

Anyhoo, Bruce Wayne hold another charity event.  And, of course, dat mean some villain HAS to crash it.  In dis case, it Poison Ivy and Bane who infiltrate de party dressed as apes.  No.  Really.  Den, Mr. Freeze crash de party as well and, after extended toy commercial chase sekwence, he captured.

Your paint-by-numbers villais-crash-de-charity-event sekwence.

But wait!  Dere’s more!  Unfortunately.  Poison Ivy spring Mr. Freeze from Arkham Asylum.  Dey team up to freeze Gotham city wit giant teleskope.  Meanwhile, dying Alfred demonstrate best sound judgement since his decision to show Vicky Vale de Batcave by giving Barbara a Batgirl outfit he made.  For her?  Maybe.  But monster suspect he aktually made for himself and just gave to her as an afterthought.  ”Oh, uh, de rubber girly suit?  Dat’s for…dat’s for…dat’s for you!”

Dey team up and go after Freeze/Ivy.

Blah blah blah puns.  Blah blah blah explosions.  Blah blah blah Bat trio save de day.  Blah blah blah Alfred doesn’t die.  Blah blah blah.

Blah blah and blah.

Bleh.

Verdikt: De movie dat temporarily killed de Bat franchise – or, as Mr. Freeze would say: “Poot eet on ice.”

Rating: 1 chocolate chippee cookie.  But be careful.  One chip really a mouse turd.

Tagged: Batman, Batman and Robin, Cookie Monster, Cookie Monster film reviews, Cookie Monster movie reviews, Cookie Monster reviews Batman and Robin, superhero movie reviews, superhero movies, SuperMovie of the Week Club

July 1, 2012: Post-massage dog-wrangling! Days of Stargate: Atlantis Past! The Hive! Epiphany!

I’ve been feeling stressed-out of late and so, at Akemi’s behest, I booked us an hour-long couple massage at the local Absolute Spa.  We left the house well in advance of our 1:00 p.m. appointment yesterday, figuring we could relax in the sauna for half an hour beforehand.  We were only a couple of blocks from home when I happened to notice a dog wandering up the sidewalk, no collar or owner in sight.

I slowed down, expecting the owner to turn the corner and put my mind at ease, allowing me to be on my way.  No such luck.  The dog scampered one way, then the opposite direction, then stopped to sniff the bushes. I pulled over and looked on as the dog wandered about, ambled onto someone’s lawn and promptly relieved himself.  I watched and considered.  It clearly wasn’t a stray and had probably wandered off from someone’s back yard.  I could just leave him be and assume the owner would soon notice him missing and take up the search – or rely on some benevolent neighbor who wasn’t going to be late for their massage to take him in.  But I knew that even if a happy outcome was probable, I would regret not knowing for sure.   And so, dismissing any hope of that pre-massage sauna session, I made a u-turn, parked across the street, and got out of my car.

The dog, who looked like a cross between a pug and a beagle, eyed me suspiciously as I stepped out onto the sidewalk.  ”Hey, boy,”I called, waving him over.  ”C’mere.”  C’mere?  And then what?  Bundle him up in my arms and deposit him in my car?  Drop him off at my place and then decide what to do with him when I got back from my massage? Well, yes.  I figured I would put him in the kitchen where he could do the least damage and move my dogs to the living room.  And then I suppose I could call the City of Vancouver.  The local SPCA was also a possibility but I didn’t know if the shelter had a no-kill policy.  By giving him up to their care, would I possibly be complicit in his death? I didn’t like that prospect and decided right then and there that I would leave my name and number and, if he didn’t find a good home, that I would adopt him.

But I had to get him in the car first.  I opened the back door wide and called him over, motioning him inside.  Hey, check it out.  Free ride!

The dog wasn’t having any of it.  He reared up, barked, and paced around nervously.  ”I have some treats!”offered Akemi who had followed me out of the car.  She pulled out her treats, little bacon-flavored ginger-bread-man-shaped cookies she keeps in an Altoids tin, and tossed one over.  He cautiously approached and snapped it up. She tossed over another.  He wasted no time snapping up that one as well.

I took a handful of treats and began to lay a path, from Akemi to inside my car.  The dog sniffed the first treat and downed it.  Then another. We were on our way!  Everything was going according to plan when some guy came barreling around the corner and startled the dog.

By calling its name, Rufus, and then stopping to throw me a “What the hell?” look.  There I stood, in my leather trench coat, treats in hand, alongside a winding trail of tiny bacon-flavored cookie men leading straight into my getaway car, the very image of a heartless dog-napper.

“Oh,”said the guy.

“Oh,”I said back.

An awkward silence during which dog Rufus finished off the trail of treats and parked himself at my feet, casting a longing gaze from the bacon-scented back seat of my car and back to me.  The look on his face seemed to say: “Well?  Are we doing this?”

“I thought he was lost,”I explained, “and when I didn’t see anyone around – “

“Right,”said the owner, nodding to curtail further discussion.  ”Well – “

“So – “

“Thanks for taking care of my dog.”

“Sure,”I said.  ”No problem.”

I considered informing him that ole Rufus had taken a huge dump on his neighbor’s yard that he might want to consider cleaning up, but he and Rufus were already on their way and, besides, I had a massage to get to.

Anyway, things ended happily enough.  Rufus returned home safe and sound and, more importantly, I was able to enjoy a guilt-free massage.

Oh, and the spa ended up letting us use the sauna after our session.

To be honest, I don’t even like saunas.

Continuing our trip down Atlantis memory lane…

THE HIVE (210)

A powerful pay-off to the intriguing Lost Boys, The Hive is Atlantis at its best – with plenty of twists and turns, great character moments, and spectacular visual effects.  And, as an added bonus, we develop another aspect of wraith mythology with the wraith worshipers, humans who serve and revere the life-sucking aliens.  More is made of the divisions inherent within the enemy, something Sheppard exploits at episode’s end to save a human civilization from a mass culling.

David Hewlett, as always, is firing on all cylinders, this time delivering a performance that shows a side of Rodney we’ve never seen before – intense, overwhelmed, physically and mentally tortured.  As for Ford, he goes out in a blaze of glory, redeeming himself by distracting the enemy so that his friends can make good their escape.  Or does he? Sheppard thinks it very likely that their resilient comrade found a way off the hive ship before it was destroyed.  I’d like to think so too, that Ford is still out there, harvesting wraith and fighting the good fight. But the fact that we don’t see the character again after this episode would suggest otherwise.  Still, as we always say whenever someone gets killed off: “This is science fiction.  Anything is possible!”.

EPIPHANY (212)

Oof.  This episode was the equivalent to season one’s Sanctuary – slowly, somewhat silly, and, occasionally, downright painful to sit through.  A great door in (the time distortion portal) is undone by a story involving a community of space-hippies who are being stalked by an invisible bogeyman (the stand-in for the creature during production was a guy in a pink monster suit that would have us in stitches whenever he appeared on dailies).  Sheppard joins the commune and he is revealed as…The One who will lead them.  As prophecized, of course.  It turns out the monster is actually a manifestation of their own fear and, to defeat it, they must come together as one – just like the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers did in in the movie in order to revive their boss, the giant head.  The power of love inner strength vanquishes the monster and the episode ends with a good ole fashioned mass ascension.

Oh, yeah.  Like I started to say in last night’s entry.  The results are in on Gateworld’s Atlantis Season One Awards!  The fan awards covered categories in best individual character moments, best team moment, best alien race, best individual villain, coolest ancient technology, coolest alien technology, best guest star, and best episode.  Found it odd that Rising I and II weren’t in the best episode category (which, I believe, they would have won handily).  Anyway, you can check out all the results here: Atlantis Season One Awards: Results!

Tagged: Atlantis, Epiphany, science fiction, Science Fiction Television, scifi television, SF, SGA, Stargate, Stargate: Atlantis, The Hive

June 30, 2012: NOT so fast! A return visit to the Night Market! Days of Stargate: Atlantis Past! Aurora! The Lost Boys!

I woke up this morning to a new set of notes.  Wait!  Notes on what?  I have even started a new writing job yet.  Oh, wait.  These are notes for the LAST writing job.  The miniseries I assumed we’d completed work on a week and a half ago.  Paul and I handed in the second draft, hadn’t heard back and assumed that, with the start of production only weeks away, we were done.

NOT SO FAST!

The notes are – particular.  Which is fine.  I prefer clear, detailed notes that leave no room for misinterpretation .  Unfortunately, this being a long weekend, my writing partner is away (and computer-less) until Tuesday, meaning I’m on my own until then.

So much for that barbecue.

Speaking of barbecue, last night Akemi and I paid a return visit to the Richmond Night Market with our friends Errol and Janice.  Feast your eyes on this feast for your eyes:

Errol does his best Fred Flintstone imitation.

Janice paces herself with lemonade.

Akemi gives the barbecued corn a tough/chewy go.

Barbecue pork skewer!

Barbecued baby octopi and grilled quail eggs.

Something called a Xian Burger. The secret ingredient is spicy pork.

Errol partakes in some offal stew.

The Hurricane Potato is the perfect cure for what ails you.  Provided that what ails you isn’t an upset stomach.

The deep-fried Mars Bar. How could I not?

The deep-fried cheesecake.

Akemi feeling rock ‘n rollish (or borderline Gaga).

We followed up dinner with a walk through the flea market stall section where Errol bought a couple of Angry Bird pens for his kids, one of which promptly broke only seconds after the purchase was made.  Errol returned to the stall and asked if he could exchange the obviously faulty product.  The owner claimed that the pen was intact when he bought it so, as far as he was concerned, the fault lay with him.  A little back and forth at which point Errol fired the “What’ll I say when my kid cries himself to sleep tonight?” volley which was effortlessly deflected with a shrug and casual: “I don’t care.”  But Errol was not done yet. After retelling the story – and working himself up – he returned to the stall, snapped a picture with his cell phone, and informed him that was an editor for the local paper.  At which point the owner finally came around  - and asked him whether he wanted his two dollars back.  Errol flatly refused and left, two dollars poorer but satisfied.

Continuing our trip down Atlantis memory lane.  We’re almost at the halfway mark of season 2…

AURORA (109)

I love a good scifi story and this episode was brimming with cool, SF concepts: time distortion, virtual reality, time travel (of sorts) – and a new (technically Ancient) space ship.  A great premise and an equally great ending (for those of us who, as I’ve already said, prefer our endings like we prefer our chocolate: bittersweet).  The Aurora set was a redress of the weapons platform from Trinity.  We did A LOT of redressing on both shows as a way to keep costs down.  Boy, did we get good mileage out of that village.

My fondest memory of this episode had nothing do with the actual episode per se but a behind-the-scenes problem wardrobe came up against.  Turned out the helmet on those environmental suits were too small for a dreadlocked Ronon.  After some consideration, the obvious solution presented itself: Have Jason’s double take his place in the suit.  Anyone notice?

And, finally, the question that everybody asks after the conclusion of this episode: What WAS that crucial piece of data pertaining to a weakness in the wraith that apparently went down with the ship?  The answer: You’ll have to ask the writer, Carl Binder.

THE LOST BOYS (110)

Lieutenant Ford makes his triumphant return.  And he’s brought along some friends (one of whom, Kanayo, is played by Martin Gero’s friend, and occasional writing-producing partner, Aaron Abrams)!  Atlantis goes Independence Day as our heroes hatch a plan to pilot a dart into a hive ship and, once there, plant explosives that will take out the ship – once they’re long gone of course.  Naturally, this being Stargate (and a two-parter no less!) things don’t go exactly as planned.  It’s interesting seeing the increasingly unbalanced Ford manipulate his former teammates, equally interesting to see McKay, Teyla, and Ronon (in an appetizer for Broken Ties) react to the drug coursing through their respective systems.

As was the case with all of our mid-season two-parters, although they may have aired months apart, they were shot back to back.  In this case, directors Brad Turner and Martin Wood did the honors – Brad on The Lost boys and Martin on The Hive although, for efficiency’s sake, all of the hive ship sequences were directed by Martin while Brad directed all of the scenes on Ford’s planet.

Tagged: Atlantis, Aurora, science fiction, Science Fiction Television, scifi television, SF, SF television, SGA, Stargate, Stargate: Atlantis, The Lost Boys