Joseph Mallozzi's Blog, page 480

November 28, 2012: The supersecret projects rundown!

Amid all of the fantasy football researching, number-crunching, and anguishing (see last issue, ed.), I do find time for other pursuits.  My supersecret projects come to mind.  I know, I know.  You’ve heard very little about them – but that’s only because, well, they’re supersecret. Hopefully, they’ll eventually see the light of day (and, preferably, a t.v. screen) in the not too distant future.  In the meantime, allow me to offer the following cryptic updates:

Project #1

What is it?: Urban fantasy series.

Status: We completed the first draft of the pilot yesterday.

What can I reveal?: At this point, not much.  We’re very happy with the script which offers a nice balance of scares, humor, and character moments.  The trio at the heart of the prospective series and their unique relationships will be a blast to write for if this goes.

Project #2

What is it?: Space opera series.

Status: I’m halfway through the series bible.  This week, we review the source material and then, next week, Paul and I get together and start breaking the pilot.

What can I reveal?: Oh, regular readers of this blog will figure it out. Nothing written in stone but things are suddenly looking very hopeful for this labor of love.

Project #3

What is it?: SF series.

Status: Friday night, Paul and I go to dinner with the prospective show’s creators to discuss working on the pilot.

What can I reveal?: Again, not much.  This one is in the early stages – so far as our (Paul and my) involvement is concerned – but what they’ve put together so far looks great and has some kickass potential.

Project #4

What is it?: SF series based on a literary work by a major scifi author.

Status: This one is in the early stages as well.  If the pieces fall into place (and, sometimes, they do), Paul and I will be starting work on the pilot next month.

What can I reveal?: Oh, this one’s the hush-hushiest of them all until a deal gets closed.

Meanwhile, our former Stargate associates are busy with their own projects, supersecret and not…

Brad Wright is working on at least two supersecret projects…that I know of.

Golden Boy Martin Gero completes work on the second season of his series, the L.A. Complex: http://www.facebook.com/TheLAComplexCW

Carl Binder has his own supersecret project under wraps in addition to a not-so-secret project: show-runner for Hallmark’s 

And Robert Cooper has so many things on the go I’ve lost track.

Who knows what the future holds.  Maybe some of these projects?  Maybe none of them?  Maybe a food cart specializing in Akemi’s mapo tofu and okonomiyaki?

 

November 27, 2012: My name is Joe and I am a fantasy football addict!

Depressed.

(http://andyyuill.deviantart.com/art/S...)

I had to take a couple of melatonin tablets to fall to sleep last night and ended up dreaming of risky rooftop ball hockey, precariously perched apartments, and Vegas (for some reason, I always dream of Vegas).  Why?  Did I receive some distressing news? Was I upset by a sudden sad turn of events?  Why, yes and yes.

My Snow Monkey, down 30+ points heading into the weekend, came roaring back to to take a 38 point leading into the Monday night game, all but assuring themselves a spot in the post-season.  Only to lose by 6 points.  The loss leaves us tied for the last playoff spot with one game to play.  Ultimately, it’s partly my fault for believing in wide receiver James Jones, partly James Jones’ fault for not putting in a better effort, but mostly, MOSTLY, quarterback Aaron Rodgers’ fault for not once – NOT ONCE! – targeting Jones.  Instead, the Packers focused on establishing the run game – DOWN 3 TOUCHDOWNS! Rodgers threw to everyone BUT Jones – and ended up losing the game, and possibly costing my Snow Monkeys their season.  If I had played someone else, anyone else – Beanie Well!  Malcom Floyd!  Ryan Broyles!  Daniel Thomas!  Hell, even terminally underperforming Dwayne Bowe! – I would have won!

Rodgers and the Packers have officially supplanted the New England Patriots as my #1 team to root against moving forward.  As a result, the Patriots move down to #2 and the rest of the hated teams slide accordingly – the Eagles to #3, Broncos to #4, Jets to #5, 49ers to #6, and the Steelers to #7.

The fates have truly conspired against me.  I was the second highest scoring team of the week – but had the misfortune of playing the top highest scoring team of the week.  Again!

Take a look at the standings…

I mean COME ON!  There we are, sitting in 8th place – a team that has outscored almost every other team in the league except one!

Seriously.  These are my weeks during the fantasy football season:

Tuesday is committed to researching free agent players to add to my bench.  Tuesday nights are long since I’m up until 1:00 a.m. to learn who picked up what player off the waiver wires and, most importantly, find out if I got the players I selected.

Wednesday is spent researching the match-ups for the coming weekend.

I spend Thursday tweaking my starting line-up in advance of any Thursday night match-ups (this Thursday, my QB, Drew Brees, plays against the red hot Atlanta Falcons!) and putting in any late waiver wire requests.

On Friday, I input the stats from the previous night’s game and try to gauge my chances of holding on for the win/pulling off the upset.

Saturday is spent lamenting the fact that I had to wait over two days for more football – and distracting myself with college ball.

Sunday = the BIG day!  Up at 8:00 am, pre-game shows to 10:00 a.m., and then games, games, games!  I’m jumpier than a squirrel with ADD, hopping from one channel to another, catching a TD pass here, a big run there, a blocked field goal, interception return, occasionally the odd sack.  By night’s end, whether I’m jubilant, despondent, or anxiously optimistic – I am also thoroughly exhausted.

Monday’s are a staggered succession of insignificant make-work tasks designed to make time fly enroute to the big Monday Night game where all is either won or lost.  Depending on how things pan out, I either enjoy a peaceful night’s sleep, content in the knowledge that I am one step closer to that coveted playoff spot, or lie awake at night, analyzing the choices and plain bad luck that contributed to my looming downfall.

I also find time to eat, walk the dogs, and update this blog.

So it all comes down to next week’s game against the Savela Skitters, managed by my buddy and former Stargate VFX Supervisor (and future “that secret project” VFX Supervisor?) Mark Savela.  Win and we’re in.  Lose and my Snow Monkeys are done.  And I’ll be very, very, VERY angry.

All is not lost.  Not yet.  But it’s going to be a loooong week.

Focus!

(Brian Peterson / Zuma Press)

P.S. I was so upset by the loss that Akemi informed me this would be my last year of fantasy football.

Tagged: fantasy football

November 26, 2012: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews X-Men: The Last Stand!

On de one hand, dis movie not as good as de original or sekwel.  On de other hand, it not make monster want to vomit, kick in his t.v., or punch someone in de nards.

Movie pick up where last one left off.  Jean Grey be dead and X-Men be in mourning.  Cue cornball cliche shot of boyfriend Cyclops single-tear-tracking-shot.

But no time for boo hoo.  Breaking news!  Pharmaceutical giant, Worthington Labs, has created drug dat counteract mutant gene, effektively “curing” mutantism.  Dis, of course, be a big deal and offer up very interesting moral, ethical and philosophical dilemma – dat never really explored.  Instead, movie drop a second major plot onto viewers’ laps.  Cyclops, off on his own, hear Jean’s voice at remote lake. She magikally appear to him and, when dey kiss, she go all darkside on him and…kill him?  Whisk him away to Narnia?  Me not sure.  But one ting for certain.  Cyclops not in rest of movie – which make kind of no sense.  He be team leader and, more importantly, Jean’s boyfriend. His charakter should be at center of dis emotional storyline focusing on her return.  Instead, he simply written out of de movie so dat DIS guy can take over de spotlight role -

Move over Cyclops.

Monster understand dat Wolverine charakter more popular but dis feel like a bad creative decision dat never really pay off.

Magneto gather up his gang of merry evil mutants and camp out like a bunch of nature-loving Occupy Forest protesters.  His plan: get Dark Phoenix. Oh, and scuttle plans for anti-mutant drug by eliminating de source: a boy, nicknamed Leech, who possess mutant-dampening powers.

Magneto and his Merry Men. And some women.

So, we have two major stories – return of Dark Phoenix and introduktion of mutant scare – either of which would have made a great plot for one movie.  Instead, by cramming dem both into a single film, dey lumber and jockey for position like Big Bird and Snuffalupagus during last call at Ye Olde Goldbricker Pub.  As a result, de climactic battle between de good and evil mutants, while visually specktacular, be devoid of any real emotional stakes.  Sure, we don’t want Magneto to kill de kid and, sure, we know it going to be hard for Wolverine to skewer Phoenix, but ultimately it just feel like unsatisfaktory rush-job (Which remind monster.  Do NOT hire Grover’s brother’s company to renovate your home.  Monster slept in for forty eight hours straight until me realize it not night time but just dey painted windows as well.).

Phoenix looks like she rose from the ashes of a tequila bender.

Also odd:

Casting of Vinny Jones as Juggernaut.  He famous for what exaktly? Me guess NOT akting.

Decision to kill off Professor X partway thru movie deny audience great climaktik face-off between him and Magneto.  Dis especially weird since Magneto strategizes final battle like game of chess (ie. sacrificing pawns), someting dat would have made more sense if Professor X was strategizing on de other side since it already be established dem playing chess against each other in  previous films.

Decision to cast Dr. Fraisier Crane as Dr. Hank McCoy, a charakter who do next to nothing.

Scene in which army surrounds mutant camp and rush in, only to diskover heat signatures picked up on satellite were all versions of Madrox the Multiple Man.  What de point?

Oh, and why did Jean come back as Dark Phoenix?  Dis never clearly explained.

Verdikt: Too much going on result in confusing, unsatisfaktory turd installment.  Scene of golden gate bridge being extended to Alcatrz pretty cool tho.

Rating: 5.5 chocolate chippee cookies.

Tagged: Cookie Monster, Cookie Monster film review, Cookie Monster movie reviews, Cookie Monster reviews X-Men: The Last Stand, Sueprmovie of the Week Club, superhero movies, superheroes, SuperMovie of the Week, X-Men, X-Men: The Last Stand

November 25, 2012: Snow Monkey fury! Jelly in: Nose-licking 101!

Anxious!

With two weeks left to go in our fantasy football league season, my Snow Monkeys are fighting for their playoff lives.  Only 8 of 14 teams will advance to the post-season and, with a record of 6-5, my Monkeys face a near must-win match-up this weekend against Rob Cooper’s Landsharks.  Looking good however.  We’ve built up a nice lead, but anything can happen!  Will Cam Newton have a big game against the woeful Eagles?  Will Manning throw another TD to Victor Cruz?  Will Aaron Rodgers remember that James Jones plays for his team?

Since it was an all-important weekend in fantasy land, I expected a big turnout today for by weekly football gatherings.  Alas, Rob had to bow out on account of work (and, I suspect, not wanting to suffer the humiliation of being crushed by my Snow Monkeys).  Ivon elected to stay home and watch the Grey Cup, the Canadian Football League championship game pitting the Moosejaw Maple-Beavers against the Toronto Lumberjacks.  Lawren, meanwhile, said he would come over AND bring pie, but canceled at the last minute – and failed to drop off said pie.  That, of course, meant more sushi for Akemi and me:

And, of course, Sunday Morning Ice Cream.  This week’s flavor…

Akemi’s favorite so far.

A nice, sunny day in Vancouver.  I did manage to take a break from all the football to walk the dogs.

Lulu’s not so subtle way of letting us know she’d really like to go out for a walk.

Got that?

Ever wanted to lick your own nose?  Let Jelly show you how:

November 24, 2012: Stargate lives! Sort of.

Well, MGM may have pulled the plug on Stargate – or, if you prefer, placed it on indefinite hiatus – but it’s nice to see that interest in the franchise remains strong.  A recent google search turned up the following Stargate-related news items…

It was only a matter of time.  Apparently, China has started their own Stargate program:

At a cost of a mere $16 million dollars, 115 foot tall steel gate weighs in at 3 000 tons and includes 12 000 LED lights.

What amazing otherworldly entities will pass through its event horizon? No idea, but some Chinese net users have a few guesses:

What Will Come Out of the Mysterious Stargate in China?

Planning on proposing to a fellow Stargate fan?  Well, guarantee she’ll say yes by springing THIS on her:

The gate’s structure is 14k gold while the chevrons are 18k gold.  And, best of all, the inner ring actually spins!

Order it from WeddingBandDesign

Stargate SG-1′s “Camelot” makes i09′s list of - The 20 Best Cliffhangers Ever Shown on Science Fiction or Fantasy …

Colonel General President Jack O’Neill

Meanwhile, Colonel/General Jack O’Neill makes wired.com’s list of - Top 10 Fictional Characters We’d Like as US President

And for the cat who has everything, how about a Stargate-themed cat bed:

The puddle bottom is a nice touch.  Diy Stargate Cat Bed: Nine Lives, Infinite Planets

Over at blogcritics.org, Barbara Barnett is doing a Stargate: Universe rewatch.  Stargate Universe Revisited – “Light”

Which reminds me – I should pick up where I left off.  This week, I’ll resume my trip down Stargate memory lane with a look at Stargate: Atlantis’s fifth season.  See you there!

Tagged: SG-1, SGA, SGU, Stargate, Stargate Universe, Stargate: Atlantis, Stargate: SG-1

November 23, 2012: John Picacio launches Lone Boy! The word on his 2013 kickstarter Calendar Project! And some random musings!

I heard from my buddy, Hugo Award-winning artist John Picacio, today. He dropped me an email to let me know:

a) He liked the look of that sweet potato pie Rob made for yesterday’s Thanksgiving Football gathering.

b) He has just launched his own company: Lone Boy | John Picacio Calendar & Loteria Cards

c) He’s also launched a kickstarter campaign to generate funding for a 2013 Calendar featuring some of his most memorable cover art. According to John:

“This full-color 12” x 12” 2013 wall calendar collects twelve of my favorite book cover artworks from my career thus far. This is the debut product from my new company, Lone Boy, and I want the final product to be the best I can possibly give you. The calendar’s cover will be printed on 12 pt. premium paper stock, with a satin aqueous-coated finish, and the interior pages will be printed on 100# text.

You won’t find many art calendars where the artist himself (or herself) has not only created the artwork, but also personally designed and overseen every detail. This is that kind of calendar. It’s available exclusively here, via this Kickstarter campaign. This is an offering from me to you, with all best wishes to you and yours for 2013.”

In addition…

“The good news — my funding goal has been met at $12,000, so the calendar will indeed be a reality. And now that we reached $20,000, every backer who pledges $35 or more gets a free 12-page sketchbook featuring notes and sketches from the making of the calendar artworks.

So now we’re trying to reach $30,000 by Wednesday at 11am CST (when my Kickstarter expires), so that backers who pledge $40 and above can also receive a deluxe art card set featuring all of the calendar artworks.That $40 level is a really good entry level for the budget-conscious because as of now, a backer receives all of this:

a) A signed 2013 calendar

b) An archival print of the calendar’s cover art

c) A 12-page sketchbook

d) Free shipping

e) And IF we get to 30K, then they (and everyone who pledges more than $40) gets the deluxe card setPretty good value!And then if you notice, we gave some added price breaks for people who order multiple calendars too.Some other fun highlights:1) The $250 tier gets your birthday printed in the calendar, and more — which is cool because then you can claim your birthday as a federal holiday and demand that everyone you know gets the day off (or not). 2) $500 gets you an original 6″ x 9″ drawing, plus your birthday, and more

3) The $1000 and $1500 tiers offer one-of-a-kind process drawings from the making of the calendar artworks, and more.4) The $2000 tier offers a backer a chance to model for one of my Loteria cards, and basically become immortalized as a piece of artwork. Loteria will be my major work of 2013, and I think it’s going to be a career-defining work.”
…
Check out the details here: http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1143812835/the-2013-john-picacio-calendar
A supremely talented individual – and a hell of a nice guy.

.

Just some random thoughts…

…

Akemi on the character of Glenn and his recent romantic sub-plot on AMC’s The Walking Dead: “Too much fuck.  He is not serious about zombie issue.”

…

Note to Disney: Talking dog movies are significantly less funny when children provide the voices for the furry protagonists.

…

I understand that some restaurants are so popular that they require reservations be made months in advance, and that some restaurants are so popular that even booking months in advance won’t necessarily guarantee you a table.  Still, three years in a row crosses the line from “exclusive” to “annoying”.  Such was the case with Montreal’s Joe Beef. But, this year, my sister finally succeeded in securing a reservation! Only to be told that a mistake had been made and that the restaurant would be closed that day.  Sorry.  That good?  Possibly.  Worth it?  Hell no.  Hope they have a nice rest of their lives.





Tagged: Hugo Awards, John Picacio, kickstarter, Lone Boy

November 22, 2012: Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone celebrating today with friends, family, loved ones, and their respective peculiar dates.  Here in Canada, we already celebrated back in October (approximately two days after Canadian Christmas) but that didn’t stop me from enjoying a good old-fashioned American style Thanksgiving complete with football, sweet potato pie, and the traditional post-meal vow to eat nothing but fruit and vegetables for the next two days.

My day went something like this:

Watched the first game of the NFL triple-header.  A great game marred by yet another ridiculous rule that saw the Houston Texans awarded a touchdown on a run that should have been blown dead at mid-field. Usually, all scoring plays are reviewed but because the opposing team’s coach threw a challenge flag on a “non-reviewable play” (even though all scoring plays ARE automatically reviewed), his team was penalized 15 yards AND the play was not reviewed.  Why the hell not? Out of spite?  I understand the need to penalize a coach for delay of game but his team is already losing 15 yards.  By not reviewing a play that, in all other circumstances MUST be reviewed undermines the very point of having a replay system in place.

As much as I would love to lay the blame for the Lions’ loss on that bizarre rule, I have to give discredit where discredit is due.  With the ball deep in Houston territory, the Lions coach calls two successive running plays, and then goes for the field goal…on third down!  There wasn’t even an attempt to try and get the first down.  Of course, the Lions ended up missing the field goal – and the Texans promptly marched down the field and kicked their own field goal.  This one was good.

My buddies Ivon and Rob arrived for the second game of the double-header:

Who’s ready to take on some wings? Ivon!

Ivon was in high spirits despite the fact that his team, The Running Dead, are a longshot to make our fantasy football league’s playoffs (for the second year in a row).  There’s still faint hope but he’ll need to win his last two games – and hope some other teams suffer a loss or two. I’m rooting for him of course.  It would be a pleasure to beat him in the post-season.

Hey, look at what Rob brought! Sweet potato pie!

In keeping with the Thanksgiving theme, Rob baked a sweet potato pie.  We served it up with our main course:

While we were at the butcher, I made the mistake of asking Akemi her thoughts on how many wings I should pick up per guy.  She suggested five.

I ended up closer to 25.  Had a hard time getting them to crisp up, roasting them in the oven at 400 for 20 minutes, then raising the temperature to 500, then switching the oven to broil, then raising the rack to its uppermost level which finally succeeded…in setting fire to the parchment paper beneath the wings.

In the end, the wings were unimpressive.  But that sweet potato pie! My oh my!  THAT was the highlight of the night:

Top with a dollop of sour cream and, voila, you’re ready to go. Wings optional.

We watched the second game of the double-header pitting the Dallas Cowboys against the Washington Redskins.  Now either the Cowboys are VERY predictable or Rob and Ivon somehow managed to travel in time to watch the game in the future, and then return to the present in order to accurately predict that: a) The Cowboys would get blown out early and, b) Romo would engineer a comeback that would fall short by c) exactly three points!

It’s tough to be a Cowboys fan and, while I would normally sympathize with Rob, my Snow Monkeys are playing his Landsharks in fantasy football league play this weekend with a playoff berth on the line, so it was very hard to feel that sorry for him.  Especially after the third game of the triple-header.

BUT before we took in the New York Jets/New England Patriots game, we had a little dessert compliments of Akemi:

Man, that be some dense chocolate mousse!

While the first two games were entertaining and fairly close (in the end), the third game was an unwatchable disaster – unless you’re a Patriots fan or enjoy watching those old football follies collections NFL Films used to put out.  Oh, the hapless Jets, bumbling and fumbling their way through a nationally televised stinker.  At one point, Jets QB Mark Sanchez scrambled upfield – directly into the backside of one of his own offensive lineman, dropped, lost the football, and the Patriots defense ran it in for a touchdown.

(http://cinemagr.am/show/52952401)

It would have been downright hilarious if not for the fact that Rob was playing the Patriots D.

My buddy Lawren was a late arrival.  By that point, the overall mood had already soured.  My Snow Monkeys season was in jeopardy!  Rob’s precious Cowboys had lost!  One of Ivon’s starting WR’s had been lost to injury!  And Akemi was disappointed her mousse didn’t turn out fluffier!  Lawren, oblivious, ate reheated wings.

We ended the night by sending him off with some leftovers.  Well, ALL the leftovers.

Lawren lugs home the leftover wings.

Thank you to everyone who forwarded me pics of their Thanksgiving feasts (check ‘em out in the comments section).  If YOU happen to have an leftover, you know were to send ‘em!

Today’s entry is dedicated to Janet.

Tagged: Dallas Cowboy vs. Washington Redskins, Houston Texans vs. Detroit Lions, New England Patriots vs. New York Jets, NFL football, replay, Thanksgiving

November 21 2012: My gal!

My gal

“You two are always so happy,”noted the woman at the counter, wrapping up our olive oil purchases.  ”Whenever you come in, you’re always laughing and smiling.”

I thought that was very sweet of her to say even though she was clearly mistaking my lunacy for merriment.  Happens all the time. Still, I suppose I am a generally good-humored sort, the type of person you’d like to talk to at a party or be on hand to lighten the mood during the final alien assault.  Yes, being slightly cracked helps. So does having a houseful of funny dogs.  And, oh yeah, a girlfriend that never fails to make me laugh – intentionally or not.

Like earlier this morning for instance when she quietly walked into the living room from the kitchen, took a seat and, eyes downcast, informed me: “I saw something terrible.”  She appeared shell-shocked.  What had she witnessed?  A bird fly into one of the back windows?  Our neighbors in a fist fight?  Graphic CNN war coverage?  No.  As it turned out, she peeked into a container of expired sour cream and beheld a sight so horrific that she was in shock.

The Scream

She has still yet to adjust to our Vancouver winters which, evidently, a lot colder than Tokyo winters (but, I can assure you, a lot warmer than the Montreal winters I grew up with).  This afternoon, we took the dogs for their daily walk.  Before heading out, Akemi bundled up with the warmest jacket she could find – one of my old Stargate crew gifts.

Akemi: “I look like a human boneless ham.”

Not exactly fashionable, but warm.

And yet, fashion is important to her.  Especially kitchen-fashion, as evidenced by this video:

Via her blog: http://peasnatch.wordpress.com/

And yet, the video that never fails to make me laugh was the candid one I took of her back in Osaka.  At okonomiyaki lunch, Akemi at her kooky best:

She admits that, before coming to Canada, she wasn’t really a dog person.  All that has changed, especially when it comes to her second boyfriend, Bubba.

Soooo jealous. How come I don’t get tummy rubs?

Hanging out with Lulu.

Every time I try to snap a photo of her, she starts moving – waving her hands, turning, posing – so that fully half of her is a blur.  She can’t help herself.

And eventually…

In this particular pic, I ask her to NOT move. This is the result. Kanashii as the Japanese would say.

And, best of all, she LOVES to cook:

A girl after my own heart!

November 20, 2012: Culinary Catastrophes! Hits and misses!

Look at the above-pictured masterpiece compliments of my buddy, Ivon – the bacon on the inside gloriously crispy, the chicken meatloaf on the inside delectably juicy.  This, my friends, is tasty perfection, something we all aspire to every time we search out a recipe, track down unique ingredients (what’s a galangal?), or don that dainty apron your significant other insists on your wearing for fear you’ll get your jeans dirty.   Oh, I’ve exulted in my fair share of triumphs – amazing ice creams, delectably delicate fish,  mouth-meltingly tender pork chops – but have also anguished over tragedies as well.  There was the time I mistakenly substituted baking powder for baking soda in the very first chocolate cake I attempted when I was a kid (thankfully, the experience left no lasting emotional scars).  And there was the butter-fried shrimp I made once that were equivalent to feasting on soggy balsa wood nuggets.  And then there was this Sunday’s attempt at ice cream sandwiches…

Remember these sad little things?

So many things can go wrong, hubris can scuttle the surest of seabass recipes, and, sometimes, even if you do everything right, the fates may conspire against you and you end up with crumbly chocolate chip cookies.

Today it’s time to come clean.  Unburden yourself.  What was your greatest culinary catastrophe?  Have pictures? Even better.

Some of the hits and misses from Casa Mallozzi:

Crispy oven-roasted quail. HIT!

Why is the salmon so white? And why are the onions so blue? MISS!

Akemi’s balsamic roast onions. HIT!

The first (and last) time I made pizzza at home. MISS!

Jalapeno corn bread. HIT!

Crimes Against Spaghetti. Exhibit A. MISS!

Akemi’s okonomiyaki. Still #1. HIT!

Tagged: culinary catastrophes, kitchen hits and misses

November 19, 2012: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Sky High!

Monster can’t help but tink dat if Wonder Woman had been my high school principal, me could have accomplished so much more in life. Instead, here me is doing movie reviews to help support my cookie habit.  But me suppose it could be worse.  Monster could be reviewing Elektra again.  Instead, dis week, me watch Sky High, a film dat prove you CAN write a smart, funny, entertaining kids movie.  Take DAT Shark Boy and Lava Girl!  Hmmm.  Could be de peach schnapps talking but me really liked dis movie.

The Commander and Jetstream.  Coolest Parents Ever!  

Will Stronghold just a regular kid.  And dats de problem.  He just a regular kid wit no superpowers – but his parents be The Commander and Jetstream, celebrity superheroes.  Will keep his super-impotence a sekret from his famous folks, but it not going to be a sekret for long becuz he now a freshman at Sky High – a sekret floating high school for children of supherheroes (and de occasional supervillain).

Science class be a blast!

On his first day at Sky High, we introduced to Will’s classmates – and deir powers.  One kid glows in de dark.  Another can turn into a hamster.  Two more, de school bullies, have super speed and stretching ability.  At first gym class, kids demonstrate deir powers for gym teacher (Hey!  It’s Bruce Campbell!) who divide dem into “heroes” and “sidekicks”, Sky High’s version of de classic high school dichotomy of cool kids and losers.

She can tie monster up with her magic lasso anytime!

Will declared a sidekick and have to take classes wit his fellow second-raters.  One class taught by The Commander’s former sidekick, All-American Boy (Hey!  It’s Dave Foley!).  Another by big-brain professor (Hey!  It’s Kevin McDonald!).  Like most high school kids, he discover dat even tho dey not be “de cool crowd”, his new friends a lot more fun to hang out.  Especially so his cute best friend who, for some reason, he not seem to notice be mighty cute, Leila.

Sassy Leila.

Also attending Sky High is broody rebel kid, Warren Peace, son of superhero mother and supervillain father.  Warren take instant dislike to Will becuz his father (The Commander) put Warren’s father in jail.

Flavor = broody.

 

Will finally come into his powers – super-strength.  And, suddenly, he go from sidekick to hero.  He catch de eye of sexy/bitchy in-girl, Gwen. Meanwhile, poor Leila left to sulk – and hit it off wit broody Warren.

Tings come to a head when Will’s parents go away and he tricked into hosting a house party – and showing his new gal, Gwen, his father’s sekret inner sanktum!

Now dat’s a pretty big whatever-de-heck-it-is.

Will finally come to his senses and dump Gwen.  He decide to skip prom and hang around his father’s inner sanktum – where he diskover disappearance of “de pacifier”, a mysterious sekret weapon dat once belonged to de nefarious supervillain Royal Pain!

Royal Pain

At prom night, The Commander and Jetstream show up to be presented wit speshul hero award – only to get ambushed by Gwen who turn out to be…Royal Pain (in a clever twist dat involve her getting turned into a baby, den getting adopted and raised by her own henchman)!  She use de pacifier on dem, turning dem into babies.  Den, wit de help of some accomplices, she start zapping everyone in sight, turning DEM into babies too!

Will show up and, wit help of a bunch of sidekicks, have to prove himself hero-worthy by saving de day.

Prom Night: Last Stand

Movie full of great in-jokes, one-liners, charakter moments, and does terrific job of satirizing high school life and family dynamics.  And bonus marks for casting of Lynda Carter/Wonder Woman, as Principal Powers, who still lookin’ fiiiiiiiiine.

Verdikt: Great movie for kidz, comic book fans, and jaded monsters.

Rating: 7.5 chocolate chippee cookies.

Tagged: Cookie Monster, Cookie Monster movie reviews, Sky HIgh, superhero movies, superheroes