Joseph Mallozzi's Blog, page 112
November 7, 2022
November 7, 2022: The Horror Marathon continues with 5 more films for your consideration!
Whew! If not for Drea’s timely reminder, I may have forgotten yet another blog entry – and been forced to post a double entry tomorrow!
Why Don’t You Just Die (2018)
Andrei, a detective and the world’s worst horrible dad, brings together a terrible group of people: his resentful actress daughter, an angry thug, and a cheated cop. Each of them seeks revenge..
My thoughts: Hyper-stylized action and over-the-top score mark this Tarantino-inspired Russian thriller that manages to be darkly humorous, gratuitously gore, and immensely entertaining.
4/5
We Are All Going to the World’s Fair (2021)
Alone in her attic bedroom, teenager Casey becomes immersed in an online role-playing horror game, wherein she begins to document the changes that may or may not be happening to her.
My thoughts: Avant-garde and experimental, slow and nonsensical, this movie offers potential in its exploration of teen identity, mental health, and online horror culture, but the promise of more never really materializes. Frustratingly obtuse.
2.5/5
The Dark and the Wicked (2020)
On a secluded farm in a nondescript rural town, a man is slowly dying. His family gathers to mourn, and soon a darkness grows, marked by waking nightmares and a growing sense that something evil is taking ove.
My thoughts: While the scares do, at times, feel a little too familiar, this meditation on loss, guilt, and familial obligations does deliver the grisly goods.
3.5/5
We Are What We Are (2010)
When the patriarch of the family passes away, the teenage children must take responsibility for the family chores: the preparation of the rituals, the hunting and putting the all-important meat on the table.
My thoughts: Stark social allegory with an engaging premise but a plodding execution.
3/5
Satan’s Slaves (2017)
After dying from a strange illness that she suffered for 3 years, a mother returns home to pick up her children.
My thoughts: Terrific twists and some memorable scares in this well-plotted, character-driven Indonesian horror entry.
4.5/5
Today’s horrific Yes/No…
Parker House Rolls w/ Salted Buttercream Ice Cream? Yes/No https://t.co/yLe4DR61CC
— Joseph Mallozzi
(@BaronDestructo) November 7, 2022
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November 6, 2022
November 5, 2022: Suji Sunday!
Thoughtful.
Flower time.
Staying cool for laser therapy.
Some good lazing about.
Derp alert!
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November 5, 2022
November 5, 2022: Your Handy Guide to Weird Yokai!
After falling in battle, the leader of the Mononobe clan assumed the ghostly form of a woodpecker and sought revenge on his former rivals by pecking at their wooden temples – until, that is, he was chased away by a magical
Late at night, you may hear mysterious creaks and groans, pops and knocks and people will tell you “It’s just the house settling.”. Nonsense! It’s likely Yanari, tiny demons that live beneath your floorboards, venturing out after dark to cause noisy mischief.
At first glance, the Mikoshi Nyudo looks like your typical solitary monk out for a night time stroll. But draw closer and his neck will extend to grotesque lengths, causing you to fall over in your startled state, thereby allowing him to feast on your windpipe.
The Kyokotsu is the vengeful spirit of a murder victim whose bones were tossed down a well. There it dwells in relative unease until someone is foolish enough to disturb its remains.
What at first you may dismiss as a 35 foot piece of cloth swept up by the wind could actually be the yokai known as the Ittan Momen. How to tell the difference? Well, if it wraps itself around you and either crushes your skull or smothers you to death, it’s probably the latter.
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November 4, 2022: The Horror Marathon continues!
Forgot to post this yesterday…
Vivarium (2019)
A young couple looking for the perfect home find themselves trapped in a mysterious labyrinth-like neighborhood of identical houses.
My thoughts: There’s a point in this movie when, while digging up their mysterious clay-laced front yard, one of the characters opines: ““This is just pointless. It’s just weird muck.” And that about sums it up.
3/5
Moloch (2022)
Betriek lives on the edge of a bog in the Netherlands. When she and her family are attacked by a stranger one night, Betriek sets out to find an explanation. She discovers that something is chasing her.
My thoughts: Mostly standard scares in a movie that shows promise in its exploration of Dutch folklore but never really delivers anything new to the horror conversation.
3/5
Coherence (2013)
Strange things begin to happen when a group of friends gather for a dinner party on an evening when a comet is passing overhead.
My thoughts: Essentially a one act movie with a great sci-fi set-up, but lacking a satisfactory pay-off. On the whole, intriguing yett the improvised performances feel shallow, the characters never quite real.
3.5/5
Sissy (2022)
Teen best friends Cecilia and Emma, after a decade run into each other. Cecilia is invited on Emma’s bachelorette weekend where she gets stuck in a remote cabin with her high school bully with a taste for revenge.
My thoughts: Annoyingly vapid characters stumble into absurdly contrived lethal scenarios to a ridiculously overwrought musical score. It’s too bad because it has the bones of a potentially great movie.
3/5
The Mortuary Collection (2019)
An eccentric mortician recounts several macabre and phantasmagorical tales that he’s encountered in his distinguished career.
My thoughts: As with most anthologies, your mileage will vary tale to tale. I thought they saved the best for last but, overall, for me the horror strays too far far into goofy territory.
3/5
Overall, overwhelmingly average.
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November 3, 2022
November 3, 2022: Your Handy Guide to Weird Yokai!
Is your bride evasive about her past? Is she reluctant to let you spend time with her family? Is she a really good swimmer? Well consider the possibility you may have married a Kaeru Nyobuo, a frog that has taken human form in order to get hitched to a man.
Art @matthewmeyerart
If you forget to close your butsudan (Buddhist Shrine) at night, you may be paid a visit by a Nuribotoke, defined by its onyx coloring, pot belly, tail, bad smell, and the fact that its eyeballs dangle out of its sockets like a diva’s earrings at a red carpet event.
There is perhaps no better representation of the spirit of mutual trust and cooperation than the Ashinaga-Tenaga, a collaborative effort between a creature with extremely long arms and a creature with extremely long legs who team up to wade into deep waters and snatch up fish.
The Ubagabi is another type of fireball yokai (Hi No Tama). It manifests as the flaming head of an elderly woman that can fly around at about 3 miles per second. According to legend, if she peers over your shoulder, you will die within three years.***Speaking of horror…Today’s Yes/No…https://twitter.com/BaronDestructo/status/1588165054503026690The post November 3, 2022: Your Handy Guide to Weird Yokai! appeared first on Joseph Mallozzi's Weblog.
November 2, 2022
November 2, 2022: Amazing Covers!
A few that caught my eye this week…
Star Wars: The Mandalorian #5 – cover art by E.M. Gist
Tiger Division #1 – cover art by Stanley “Artgerm” Lau
Vampirella vs. Red Sonja #1 – cover art by Lucio Parrillo
Batman #129 – cover art by Jorge Jimenez
Batman #129 – covrer art by Gabriele Dell’otto
Old Dog #2 – cover art by Greg Smallwood
Oz: Return of the Wicked Witch #1 – cover art by Meguro
So, which were YOUR favorites?
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November 1, 2022
November 1, 2022: The Horror Marathon continues!
Hellbender (2021)
A lonely teen discovers her family’s ties to witchcraft.
My thoughts: Like watching an 80 minute music video. An okay movie considering its budgetary constraints, somewhat labored performances and dialogue, but the fact that it sits at #1 in rottentomatoes’ Best of 2022 rankings effectively renders that list pointless.
3/5
Hounds of Love (2017)
Vicki Maloney is randomly abducted from a suburban street by a disturbed couple. As she observes the dynamic between her captors she quickly realises she must drive a wedge between them if she is to survive.
My thoughts: Powerhouse performances and some nice directorial flourishes in this tense, disturbing but fairly straightforward psychological thriller.
3/5
The Last Matinee (2020)
It’s a soaking wet day with rain pouring down and one of the best things to do is to go seek refuge in a great old cinema. There’s just one problem: a murderer is on the loose and he also has taken refuge there.
My thoughts: A contemporary giallo that shot for shot and slash for slash is the equal to any its gloriously lurid predecessors. Bloody fun!
4/5
The House October Built (2021)
Five friends are stalked by a group of mysterious and disturbed individuals while on a road trip looking for the ultimate haunted house attraction.
My thoughts: Between the shaky cam and the dark lighting, it’s often hard to figure out what’s going on. The movie treads water for about fifty minutes before shit starts getting weird at which point one wonders why our protagonists don’t just pack it in.
3.5/5
Deadstream (2022)
A disgraced internet personality tries to win back his followers by livestreaming one night alone in a haunted house. But when he pisses off a vengeful spirit, his big comeback event becomes a real-time fight for his life.
My thoughts: A fun movie that gets the found footage elements right but ultimately, is about as scary as an amusement park’s haunted house ride.
4/5
Today’s Yes/No…
Turkey and Gravy Soda? Yes/No
Jones Soda adds two new festive flavours to portfolio https://t.co/g827z9lLQN
— Joseph Mallozzi
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October 31, 2022
My Halloween Horror Top 10 Novels!
Hex by Thomas Olde Heuvelt
Welcome to Black Spring, the seemingly picturesque Hudson Valley town haunted by the Black Rock Witch, a 17th century woman whose eyes and mouth are sewn shut. Muzzled, she walks the streets and enters homes at will.
#9. Song of Kali by Dan Simmons
Robert Luczak has been hired to find a noted Indian poet who has reappeared, under strange circumstances, years after he was thought dead.
#8. The Family Plot by Cherie Priest
The property is in unusually great shape for a condemned building. It’s empty, but it isn’t abandoned. Something in the Withrow mansion is angry and lost.
#7. The Lesser Dead by Christopher Buehlman
New York City in 1978 is a dirty, dangerous place to live. And die. Joey Peacock knows this as well as anybody—he has spent the last forty years as an adolescent vampire, perfecting the routine he now enjoys:..
#6. Mongrels by Stephen Graham Jones
For ten years, they have lived a life of late-night exits and close calls—always on the move to stay one step ahead of the law. But the time is drawing near when they will know if their nephew is like them or not.
#5. The Between by Tananarive Due
When Hilton was a boy, his grandmother saved him from drowning by pulling him out of a treacherous current, sacrificing her life for his. 30 years later, Hilton begins to think his borrowed time is running out.
#4. Penpal by Nathan Auerbach
A man investigates the seemingly unrelated bizarre, tragic, and horrific occurrences of his childhood in an attempt to finally understand them.
#3. The Troop by Nick Cutter
When an unexpected intruder – shockingly thin, disturbingly pale, and voraciously hungry – stumbles upon their campsite, scoutmaster Tim and the boys are exposed to something far more frightening than any tale of terror.
#2. The Shadow Year by Jeffrey Ford
Events have added a shadowy cast to the boys’ night games: disappearances, deaths, and spectral sightings capped off by the arrival of a sinister man in a long white car trawling the neighborhood after dark.
#1. Misery by Stephen King
Paul Sheldon. He’s a bestselling novelist who has finally met his biggest fan.
And which books make YOUR Horror Top 10?
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October 30, 2022
October 30, 2022: Spooky Suji Sunday!
Enjoying the fall weather.
Autumn babushka
All smiles
Dressed for the weather.
Nibbler!
Big Sneeze!
A visit to the Haunted House…
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October 29, 2022
October 29, 2022: More Stargate concept art!
TikTok food hacks be like: “The key to a great focaccia is to tape it to the underside of your toilet bowl overnight.”
— Joseph Mallozzi
A little somethings from the Stargate vault…
Today’s Yes/No…
Tasteless Candy? Yes/No
Tasteless candy on sale at Lawson convenience stores https://t.co/L7wBghJzpE via @RocketNews24En
— Joseph Mallozzi
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