Jay Bell's Blog, page 22

Happy Couples are Boring

A good day in real life is a bad chapter in fiction. A pleasant meal, a satisfactory day at work, and a relaxing evening at home all make for boring reading. Imagine though if a friend called to say they were late to work due to food poisoning, were subsequently fired, and returned home only to find that they'd been robbed. You would listen to every detail with rapt attention and probably repeat the tale to others. All those occurrences that make life miserable translate into a great story...

Movies I Must Have on Blu-ray (or my head will explode)

Blu-ray is a mixed bag for me. I find the only time it really shines for me is when new material is recorded with HD cameras. Otherwise, I don't see that much improvement over DVD, at least not on my little TV. Regardless, there is a certain satisfaction in knowing that I'm buying the ultimate version of a film, and there are a number of releases that I'm eager to see.

Pee-Wee's Big Adventure – I love Pee-Wee Herman! His debut film is an absolute quotable classic. The commentary on the DVD, featuring socially awkward Tim Burton and subdued but informative Paul Reubens, is one of my favorites. I hope they don't replace it on the new release, but I would love a nice documentary on Ruebens, the Pee-Wee craze, and some cast and crew interviews.

Return to Oz – Notoriously dark, this movie was criticized for being nothing like its chipper predecessor. That's a good thing as far as I'm concerned. The classic film has its charm, but I prefer the moody fantasy vibe that Return to Oz presents. I bought the DVD when it first came out and it's one of those terrible widescreen shoved into full screen affairs. More recent DVD releases corrected this, but I'm holding out for the high definition version.

Lord of the Rings (Extended editions) – The LOTR trilogy is already out on Blu-ray, but naturally New Line Studios is trying to capitalize on fan impatience by releasing the theatrical version first. Annoying studio tactics aside, I hope the extended editions of each film can fit onto a single disc. Then again, those intermissions were always useful as a pee break and to grab another beer.

Finding Nemo – Even though I'd like The Incredibles even more, Finding Nemo is on this list because it keeps being pushed back, year after year. Pixar is really teasing us with this one. Or maybe they're having technical problems. A high definition version of this film is a given, someday, so I'm not stressing about it too much. I do feel they've saved the best for last, so I'll be excited when the final two Pixar films see a release.

Better Off Dead – Because I love the idea of a low budget comedy getting a high definition release. I've never owned a legitimate copy of this film, despite having seen it millions of times. All I ever had was a ratty, off-air VHS recording that was missing a segment in the middle. Finally buying the film after all these years would be a nice way of paying my dues, especially if they can wrangle up some extras this time.

Back to the Future Trilogy – This one is more of an honorable mention, since all three films will be released on Blu-ray this fall. The closest thing to American Doctor Who, (let's ignore Bill and Ted) I've always adored these movies. Oh, all right! I've always enjoyed the first film and the beginning of the second film that takes place in the future. I've only recently gained an appreciation for the entire trilogy. Footage of the now defunct Back to the Future ride will be included on the set, fulfilling one of my biggest wishes so that I can relive that experience again.

So that's it for me. What films haunt your high definition dreams at night?

Movies I Must Have on Blu-ray (or my head will explode)

Blu-ray is a mixed bag for me. The only time the new technology really shines for me is when new material is recorded with HD cameras. Otherwise, I don't see that much improvement over DVD, at least not on my little TV. Regardless, there is a certain satisfaction in knowing that I'm buying the ultimate version of a film, and there are a number of releases that I'm eager to see.

Pee-Wee's Big Adventure – I love Pee-Wee Herman, and his debut film is an absolute quotable classic. The commentary ...

The Top Ten ACTUALLY Gay Action Figures

Last time we looked at figures that were gay only by rumor or reputation. This time, all the figures listed are gay, as they are based on homosexual characters or openly gay celebrities. Some of these are silly, but a lot of them are cool. The figures are a lot racier too, since more than one of the entries below are anatomically correct. In case your browning from work, I made sure to hide all the nude pictures in text links only.

With great pride, I hereby present my top ten of actually...

Denial

I woke from a dream today and saw myself for the first time in a good long while. I gave a cordial nod and complimented myself on the genuine expression, especially as I hadn't managed one as of late.

"As good as it is to see you," I told him, "I'm afraid you simply can't stay. You may have heard the news, but there's a great many details you don't know and that I don't have the heart to tell you."

He looked a bit confused as I sat down with a bottle and a glass and said my farewells. No...

The Top Ten AMBIGUOUSLY Gay Action Figures

Gay action figures! There's more than you would might expect. Some are out and proud while others are still in denial. This list features ten of my favorite ambiguously gay figures. In some cases I chose these based on the unintentional innuendo of the figure, while others have more to do with the character represented. Regardless, none of these should be taken too seriously. Without further delay, here are the top ten ambiguously gay action figures:

10. Kamandi

I honestly know very little...

Boys that go bump in the night.

This handsome fellow is Gaueko, spirit of the night. If he finds you wandering his domain, he'll warn you to return indoors until the sun rises. Any that doesn't heed this advice is subject to Gaueko's fury. The people of Basque Country, Spain, where Gaueko's legend originates, say that he takes the form of a black wolfhound that walks upright. Naturally this harkens back to tales of werewolves, my favorite monster. I would love to write a werewolf novel, and have a story fleshed out in my...

Thank You

My sincerest thanks to everyone for being so awesome and kind over the last few weeks. There's a lot of love in this world, and that makes the hard times so much easier to bear.

Those we carry with us

My dad died today. I think the reason that films so often portray the death process as being full of softly spoken final words, gentle tears, and the sad tickling of a piano, is that the truth is much too complicated to express. I've had such a strange mix of emotions this last week. There was relief at having reached my dad in time to see him again and despair at his condition. As his body deteriorated, I was disturbed by what we needed to do to keep him comfortable, but also filled with a s...

Dad

My dad passed away early this morning. He fought a long hard battle but remained optimistic, even though the odds were stacked again him. I made it back home in time to visit with him, which I am very grateful for. I think Dad was holding on until he could see all four of his kids. Once we were all there, he began to slip away and wasn't conscious most of the time. This was a blessing since his poor old body was fighting against him. When my dad went, he did so quietly, with his family...