Phil Giunta's Blog, page 81
August 13, 2014
About This Writing Stuff...
Please note that I will not be posting another edition of "About this Writing Stuff..." until at least the end of September as my schedule has become crushing. Apologies, but that's life.
This week, Macmillan's subsidiary, Swoon Reads, takes the concept of readers' choice to a higher level, allowing them to vote on the next novel to be published. Jen Blood explains the various types of editing, the need for beta-readers, and how to find the right editor for your work. Rachel Shteir succeeds in assuring us that failure is OK and a blunt Julie Butcher Fedynich lists four possible reasons why you aren't published.
From the Kill Zone, Nancy J. Cohen dissects the mystery genre while PJ Parrish expounds the methods for writing effective jacket copy. Veronica Sicoe examines the parts that make the sum of a novel. Over at Sarcastic Muse, Amanda Headlee walks in the footsteps of the villain, Michelle Mueller chats about effective repetition, Kirsten Blacketer adds another installment on fan fiction as a writer's training ground, and Robyn LaRue focuses on mission statements for writers.
All that, and a bit more. Enjoy!
Publishers Turn to the Crowd to Find the Next Bestseller by Alexandra Alter
Elements of a Mystery Plot by Nancy J. Cohen
The Art of Writing Back Copy: Boiling Your Book to Its Essence by PJ Parrish
Concept, Structure, and Transformation: How To Plan a Novel by Veronica Sicoe
To Promote or Not to Promote: An Existential Question by Sharon Bially
How To Get Your Short Stories Published in Lit Mags by Suzannah Windsor Freeman
How to Find The Right Editor For Your Book and Editing and the Writing Craft by Jen Blood via Joanna Penn
Repetition, Repetition: Effectively Repeated Words by Michelle Mueller
Footsteps of the Villain by Amanda Headlee
Fan Fiction as a Writing Tool: Part Deux by Kirsten Blacketer
Mission Statements for Writers by Robyn LaRue
Failure, Writing's Constant Companion by Rachel Shteir
The Four Reasons You Are Not Published by Julie Butcher Fedynich
This week, Macmillan's subsidiary, Swoon Reads, takes the concept of readers' choice to a higher level, allowing them to vote on the next novel to be published. Jen Blood explains the various types of editing, the need for beta-readers, and how to find the right editor for your work. Rachel Shteir succeeds in assuring us that failure is OK and a blunt Julie Butcher Fedynich lists four possible reasons why you aren't published.
From the Kill Zone, Nancy J. Cohen dissects the mystery genre while PJ Parrish expounds the methods for writing effective jacket copy. Veronica Sicoe examines the parts that make the sum of a novel. Over at Sarcastic Muse, Amanda Headlee walks in the footsteps of the villain, Michelle Mueller chats about effective repetition, Kirsten Blacketer adds another installment on fan fiction as a writer's training ground, and Robyn LaRue focuses on mission statements for writers.
All that, and a bit more. Enjoy!
Publishers Turn to the Crowd to Find the Next Bestseller by Alexandra Alter
Elements of a Mystery Plot by Nancy J. Cohen
The Art of Writing Back Copy: Boiling Your Book to Its Essence by PJ Parrish
Concept, Structure, and Transformation: How To Plan a Novel by Veronica Sicoe
To Promote or Not to Promote: An Existential Question by Sharon Bially
How To Get Your Short Stories Published in Lit Mags by Suzannah Windsor Freeman
How to Find The Right Editor For Your Book and Editing and the Writing Craft by Jen Blood via Joanna Penn
Repetition, Repetition: Effectively Repeated Words by Michelle Mueller
Footsteps of the Villain by Amanda Headlee
Fan Fiction as a Writing Tool: Part Deux by Kirsten Blacketer
Mission Statements for Writers by Robyn LaRue
Failure, Writing's Constant Companion by Rachel Shteir
The Four Reasons You Are Not Published by Julie Butcher Fedynich
August 4, 2014
A Magical Weekend - Shore Leave 36
Now in it's 36th year,
Shore Leave
is one of the most popular SF media and literary cons on the east coast. This past weekend also marked my 20th anniversary as an attendee and fourth as a writer guest...and I couldn't have asked for a better experience!
My Friday began with moderating a 5PM panel called "Judged By Its Cover". Panelists included Mike McPhail, Aaron Rosenberg, Eric Bakutis, and Leona Wisoker. We discussed the elements that comprise solid book cover design, the importance of developing cover art that is discernible as a thumbnail image on the web, and shared personal tales about changing covers on books and why. It was a fun and edifying chat!
At 7PM, Crazy 8 Press author Russ Colchamiro moderated "Why We Love SF". By coincidence, the panelists just happened to be three of the writers from the new anthology that we launched later that night at Meet the Pros. Those folks were Susanna Reilly, Daniel Patrick "Renfield" Corcoran, and myself. Russ proved to be a deft moderator, asking excellent questions, covering science fiction in movies, television and literature, and generally keeping the discussion moving at a rapid pace.
After that, it was over to Pei Wei Chinese restaurant across the highway. Susanna, Renfield, my wife, and I were joined by fellow anthology writer Amanda Headlee and my friend Dan Torok who was returning to Shore Leave after a five-year absence. At the restaurant, we met up with the rest of the usual suspects, Steven, Renee, Ethan, and Christian Wilson along with Sharon VanBlarcom, and June Swords. It was such a delight to reunite with everyone!
We were back at the hotel in plenty of time to prep for the Meet the Pros book fair kicking off at 10PM. The launch of our anthology turned out to be far more spectacular than I'd imagined! Between the six writers present (Steven H. Wilson, Daniel Patrick "Renfield" Corcoran, Amanda Headlee, Susanna Reilly, Lance Woods, and myself), we sold an estimated 40 copies of Somewhere in the Middle of Eternity in about an hour and a half. Success was ours!
During that time, I had the chance to reunite with the Crazy 8 Press gang including Michael Jan Friedman, Aaron Rosenberg, Peter David, and Bob Greenberger. Along with Russ Colchamiro, they were launching an anthology of their own called Tales of the Crimson Keep . I tried to purchase a copy, but Bob generously offered to trade signed copies of our respective anthologies. At the same time, I paid for my pre-ordered Crazy 8 Press polo shirt. I had the pleasure of writing for the ReDeus anthology series in 2012 and 2013. The series was created by Aaron, Bob, and Paul Kupperberg.
It was nice to finally meet Kevin Dilmore and Dayton Ward as well. Dayton and I both contributed to the ReDeus anthology series by Crazy 8 Press, and are friends on Facebook, but we hadn't met until Shore Leave 36.
Saturday morning found my wife and me in line to have our photo taken with Richard Dean Anderson (Stargate SG-1, MacGyver). Mr. Anderson is one of the top three actors I've always wanted to meet, so this was a special moment for me. During the photo op, we were not permitted to chat as the line was long, but I managed to tell him how honored I was to meet him. He was a genuinely nice guy, as we later learned that day in the autograph line when I effusively gushed, telling him how much MacGyver meant to me, how I was a fan of Stargate SG-1, and how thrilled I was to finally meet him. He thanked me and took the compliments with a smile.
My wife had her own hilarious experience right after that. Mr. Anderson kept a spare photo beside him to scribble on to ensure that his pens worked before signing. My wife's SG-1 cast photo was accidentally moved atop that spare photo and he scribbled black Sharpie over Daniel Jackson's face! Mr. Anderson was immediately embarrassed and profusely apologetic, but I assured him that I could clean that off (which I did with ease after the con).
My first panel on Saturday was "The Writing Process", moderated by Russ Colchamiro and co-hosted by Lorraine Anderson, Amanda Headlee, Leona Wisoker, and yours truly. Once again, Russ did a fantastic job of keeping the panel on track, asking excellent questions of the writers regarding our techniques for developing ideas into stories (such as plotting vs. "pantsing"), how many drafts we normally write before we reach the final one, and what our self-editing approaches are. It was an informative and lively discussion.
At 4:30PM, my wife and I had front row seats to Richard Dean Anderson's stage talk in the ballroom. He began by asking the audience to sing "Happy Birthday" to his daughter, who turned 16 that very day. He recorded the event on his phone...or tried to as he struggled with the device. It took two attempts, during which a few audience members shouted, "MacGyver it!" Mr. Anderson was a good sport about it and during the rest of his talk was one of the friendliest, honest, and most outgoing guests I've met in my 25 years of attending conventions. Truly a positive experience.
We rounded off Saturday at 6PM with our traditional Firebringer Press panel where we chatted up the new anthology as well as future projects, including a second anthology slated for 2016/2017! In attendance were Firebringer publisher and writer Steven H. Wilson, Amanda Headlee, Susanna Reilly, Renfield, Lance Woods, and me. Proofreader and voice actor, Paul Balze, gave a hysterical reading from Renfield's vampire comedy short, "Apartment Hunting". After that, the group split up with some attending the masquerade and the rest of us going to dinner.
I awoke Sunday morning feeling a bit ill from overeating at the local Greek diner, something one should not attempt after shedding 40 pounds. My body was just not accustomed to that. Thus, I was forced to skip Ann Crispin's Memorial at 10AM, where I had hoped to share an anecdote about how Ann had solved a 13-year-old mystery surrounding my experience with Harlan Ellison at an I-CON in Long Island, NY.
By noon, I was on my feet and checked out of the hotel. My wife and I caught up with old friends and I did some shopping in the dealer room. We sat in for Eve Myles's uproarious and ribald talk at 1PM. She began by crank-calling her Torchwood co-star Kai Owen and asking the audience to sing "Happy Birthday", replacing "Dear Kai" with "Dear Shithead Loser". Kai immediately called her back via FaceTime to converse with Eve and the audience from a pub in the UK as she held the mic close to her phone. After that, Eve launched into a few raunchy tales of working with John Barrowman before fielding questions from the audience.
After that, my wife obtained her last autograph of the weekend from the lovely Teryl Rothery on a Stargate SG-1 photo. We then chatted with our friends at the Farpoint table and made dinner arrangements before heading back upstairs to visit with artist and friend Mike Riehl at his dealer table. Mike had created the phenomenal cover and interior art for our anthology.
It was then time to moderate my 4PM panel on "Writing Novels vs. Short Stories" alongside Mike McPhail, Leona Wisoker, and Eric Bakutis. We had a very informative discussion ranging from characteristics of a short story versus a novel, how small presses, contests, and self-publishing have rejuvenated the short story market, and how to develop your own writing style and voice. Audience participation was excellent and generated several talking points.
Back in the dealer room my wife and I regrouped with Mike Riehl and his wife, Kate, before heading over to California Pizza Kitchen where we joined Farpoint con-chair Sharon VanBlarcom and her family for a wonderful dinner before hitting the road home.
Below: Pics from our book launch at the Friday night Meet the Pros party.
Above: "Hey, you! Get over here and buy a book!"
Below: The lovely ladies of our new anthology.
Below from Left to Right: Steven H. Wilson (seated), Daniel Patrick Corcoran, and Lance Woods
Below: Award-winning writer Aaron Rosenberg of Crazy 8 Press gives us his best Incredible Hulk look. Aaron is co-creator and editor on the ReDeus anthology series to which I contributed two stories.
Below: Russ Colchamiro and a smiling Robert Greenberger of Crazy 8 Press. Along with Aaron, Bob is co-creator and editor of the ReDeus series.
Nearly the entire Crazy 8 Press team was in attendance including Peter David (front), Michael Jan Friedman, Aaron Rosenberg, Russ Colchamiro, and Bob Greenberger.
Below: Bob Greenberger reveals his secret for assimilating information so quickly!
Below: Chatting about book covers during our "Judged By Its Cover" panel.
Below: Award-winning writer and graphic artist Aaron Rosenberg discusses book covers.
Below: Our Firebringer Press panel, introducing our new anthology and discussing future projects!
Below: My wife and I with actor Richard Dean Anderson (MacGyver, Stargate SG-1). Several pics of Mr. Anderson on stage.
Below: Eve Myles (Torchwood, Doctor Who) during her hysterically ribald stage talk.
Below: A nearly full-scale Cylon Raider from Battlestar Galactica was parked outside the hotel for the weekend!
My Friday began with moderating a 5PM panel called "Judged By Its Cover". Panelists included Mike McPhail, Aaron Rosenberg, Eric Bakutis, and Leona Wisoker. We discussed the elements that comprise solid book cover design, the importance of developing cover art that is discernible as a thumbnail image on the web, and shared personal tales about changing covers on books and why. It was a fun and edifying chat!
At 7PM, Crazy 8 Press author Russ Colchamiro moderated "Why We Love SF". By coincidence, the panelists just happened to be three of the writers from the new anthology that we launched later that night at Meet the Pros. Those folks were Susanna Reilly, Daniel Patrick "Renfield" Corcoran, and myself. Russ proved to be a deft moderator, asking excellent questions, covering science fiction in movies, television and literature, and generally keeping the discussion moving at a rapid pace.
After that, it was over to Pei Wei Chinese restaurant across the highway. Susanna, Renfield, my wife, and I were joined by fellow anthology writer Amanda Headlee and my friend Dan Torok who was returning to Shore Leave after a five-year absence. At the restaurant, we met up with the rest of the usual suspects, Steven, Renee, Ethan, and Christian Wilson along with Sharon VanBlarcom, and June Swords. It was such a delight to reunite with everyone!
We were back at the hotel in plenty of time to prep for the Meet the Pros book fair kicking off at 10PM. The launch of our anthology turned out to be far more spectacular than I'd imagined! Between the six writers present (Steven H. Wilson, Daniel Patrick "Renfield" Corcoran, Amanda Headlee, Susanna Reilly, Lance Woods, and myself), we sold an estimated 40 copies of Somewhere in the Middle of Eternity in about an hour and a half. Success was ours!
During that time, I had the chance to reunite with the Crazy 8 Press gang including Michael Jan Friedman, Aaron Rosenberg, Peter David, and Bob Greenberger. Along with Russ Colchamiro, they were launching an anthology of their own called Tales of the Crimson Keep . I tried to purchase a copy, but Bob generously offered to trade signed copies of our respective anthologies. At the same time, I paid for my pre-ordered Crazy 8 Press polo shirt. I had the pleasure of writing for the ReDeus anthology series in 2012 and 2013. The series was created by Aaron, Bob, and Paul Kupperberg.
It was nice to finally meet Kevin Dilmore and Dayton Ward as well. Dayton and I both contributed to the ReDeus anthology series by Crazy 8 Press, and are friends on Facebook, but we hadn't met until Shore Leave 36.
Saturday morning found my wife and me in line to have our photo taken with Richard Dean Anderson (Stargate SG-1, MacGyver). Mr. Anderson is one of the top three actors I've always wanted to meet, so this was a special moment for me. During the photo op, we were not permitted to chat as the line was long, but I managed to tell him how honored I was to meet him. He was a genuinely nice guy, as we later learned that day in the autograph line when I effusively gushed, telling him how much MacGyver meant to me, how I was a fan of Stargate SG-1, and how thrilled I was to finally meet him. He thanked me and took the compliments with a smile.
My wife had her own hilarious experience right after that. Mr. Anderson kept a spare photo beside him to scribble on to ensure that his pens worked before signing. My wife's SG-1 cast photo was accidentally moved atop that spare photo and he scribbled black Sharpie over Daniel Jackson's face! Mr. Anderson was immediately embarrassed and profusely apologetic, but I assured him that I could clean that off (which I did with ease after the con).
My first panel on Saturday was "The Writing Process", moderated by Russ Colchamiro and co-hosted by Lorraine Anderson, Amanda Headlee, Leona Wisoker, and yours truly. Once again, Russ did a fantastic job of keeping the panel on track, asking excellent questions of the writers regarding our techniques for developing ideas into stories (such as plotting vs. "pantsing"), how many drafts we normally write before we reach the final one, and what our self-editing approaches are. It was an informative and lively discussion.
At 4:30PM, my wife and I had front row seats to Richard Dean Anderson's stage talk in the ballroom. He began by asking the audience to sing "Happy Birthday" to his daughter, who turned 16 that very day. He recorded the event on his phone...or tried to as he struggled with the device. It took two attempts, during which a few audience members shouted, "MacGyver it!" Mr. Anderson was a good sport about it and during the rest of his talk was one of the friendliest, honest, and most outgoing guests I've met in my 25 years of attending conventions. Truly a positive experience.
We rounded off Saturday at 6PM with our traditional Firebringer Press panel where we chatted up the new anthology as well as future projects, including a second anthology slated for 2016/2017! In attendance were Firebringer publisher and writer Steven H. Wilson, Amanda Headlee, Susanna Reilly, Renfield, Lance Woods, and me. Proofreader and voice actor, Paul Balze, gave a hysterical reading from Renfield's vampire comedy short, "Apartment Hunting". After that, the group split up with some attending the masquerade and the rest of us going to dinner.
I awoke Sunday morning feeling a bit ill from overeating at the local Greek diner, something one should not attempt after shedding 40 pounds. My body was just not accustomed to that. Thus, I was forced to skip Ann Crispin's Memorial at 10AM, where I had hoped to share an anecdote about how Ann had solved a 13-year-old mystery surrounding my experience with Harlan Ellison at an I-CON in Long Island, NY.
By noon, I was on my feet and checked out of the hotel. My wife and I caught up with old friends and I did some shopping in the dealer room. We sat in for Eve Myles's uproarious and ribald talk at 1PM. She began by crank-calling her Torchwood co-star Kai Owen and asking the audience to sing "Happy Birthday", replacing "Dear Kai" with "Dear Shithead Loser". Kai immediately called her back via FaceTime to converse with Eve and the audience from a pub in the UK as she held the mic close to her phone. After that, Eve launched into a few raunchy tales of working with John Barrowman before fielding questions from the audience.
After that, my wife obtained her last autograph of the weekend from the lovely Teryl Rothery on a Stargate SG-1 photo. We then chatted with our friends at the Farpoint table and made dinner arrangements before heading back upstairs to visit with artist and friend Mike Riehl at his dealer table. Mike had created the phenomenal cover and interior art for our anthology.
It was then time to moderate my 4PM panel on "Writing Novels vs. Short Stories" alongside Mike McPhail, Leona Wisoker, and Eric Bakutis. We had a very informative discussion ranging from characteristics of a short story versus a novel, how small presses, contests, and self-publishing have rejuvenated the short story market, and how to develop your own writing style and voice. Audience participation was excellent and generated several talking points.
Back in the dealer room my wife and I regrouped with Mike Riehl and his wife, Kate, before heading over to California Pizza Kitchen where we joined Farpoint con-chair Sharon VanBlarcom and her family for a wonderful dinner before hitting the road home.
Below: Pics from our book launch at the Friday night Meet the Pros party.
Above: "Hey, you! Get over here and buy a book!"
Below: The lovely ladies of our new anthology.
Below from Left to Right: Steven H. Wilson (seated), Daniel Patrick Corcoran, and Lance Woods
Below: Award-winning writer Aaron Rosenberg of Crazy 8 Press gives us his best Incredible Hulk look. Aaron is co-creator and editor on the ReDeus anthology series to which I contributed two stories.
Below: Russ Colchamiro and a smiling Robert Greenberger of Crazy 8 Press. Along with Aaron, Bob is co-creator and editor of the ReDeus series.
Nearly the entire Crazy 8 Press team was in attendance including Peter David (front), Michael Jan Friedman, Aaron Rosenberg, Russ Colchamiro, and Bob Greenberger.
Below: Bob Greenberger reveals his secret for assimilating information so quickly!
Below: Chatting about book covers during our "Judged By Its Cover" panel.
Below: Award-winning writer and graphic artist Aaron Rosenberg discusses book covers.
Below: Our Firebringer Press panel, introducing our new anthology and discussing future projects!
Below: My wife and I with actor Richard Dean Anderson (MacGyver, Stargate SG-1). Several pics of Mr. Anderson on stage.
Below: Eve Myles (Torchwood, Doctor Who) during her hysterically ribald stage talk.Below: A nearly full-scale Cylon Raider from Battlestar Galactica was parked outside the hotel for the weekend!
July 29, 2014
My Shore Leave 36 Schedule
Based on a preliminary schedule from the convention, below is where I shall be throughout
Shore Leave
this weekend.
Although not yet listed, we are supposed to have a one-hour discussion panel for Firebringer Press to introduce our new anthology. I shall update my information as soon as the official con schedule is posted on their website, which should be any day now.
Friday, 01 August
5-6PM - Discussion Panel: Judged By Its Cover - Salon A
Writers discuss the elements of good book cover design and what makes a book cover truly “pop”. Moderator: Phil Giunta. Panelists: Aaron Rosenberg, Glenn Hauman, Mike McPhail, Eric Bakutis
7-8PM- Discussion Panel: Why We Love SF - Salon A
Panelists discuss what draws them to science fiction as viewers, readers, and writers. Moderator: Russ Colchamiro. Panelists: Daniel Patrick Corcoran, Phil Giunta, Susanna Reilly, Stuart Roth
10PM - Midnight - Meet the Pros book fair - Hallway outside Hunt Valley Ballrooms
Here's your chance to meet the authors, purchase their books, and get them signed! Our new anthology, Somewhere in the Middle of Eternity, will debut here with 7 of the 8 authors on hand to sell and sign copies including Daniel Patrick Corcoran, Amanda Headlee, Susanna Reilly, Stuart S. Roth, Steven H. Wilson, Lance Woods, and me!
Saturday, 02 August
1-2PM - Discussion Panel: The Writing Process - Derby Room
Writers discuss their methods and process for creating stories, plots, and characters. Moderator: Russ Colchamiro. Panelists: Phil Giunta, Amanda Headlee, Lorraine Anderson, Danielle Ackley-McPhail, Melissa Scott.
6-7PM - Discussion Panel: Firebringer Press - Salon B
Publisher and award-winning writer, Steven H. Wilson leads a one-hour presentation on the current and future publications from Firebringer Press. We will focus on the launch of our new anthology, Somewhere in the Middle of Eternity. Firebringer writers in attendance: Daniel Patrick Corcoran, Phil Giunta, Amanda Headlee, Susanna Reilly, Stuart S. Roth, and Lance Woods.
Sunday, 03 August
10AM-11AM - Ann Crispin Memorial - McCormick Suite
4-5PM - Discussion Panel: Writing Short Stories vs. Novels - Belmont
Writers discuss the differences between writing short stories and novels and the prep work that goes into both. Moderator: Phil Giunta. Panelists include Aaron Rosenberg, Danielle Ackley-McPhail, Eric Bakutis.
Although not yet listed, we are supposed to have a one-hour discussion panel for Firebringer Press to introduce our new anthology. I shall update my information as soon as the official con schedule is posted on their website, which should be any day now.
Friday, 01 August
5-6PM - Discussion Panel: Judged By Its Cover - Salon A
Writers discuss the elements of good book cover design and what makes a book cover truly “pop”. Moderator: Phil Giunta. Panelists: Aaron Rosenberg, Glenn Hauman, Mike McPhail, Eric Bakutis
7-8PM- Discussion Panel: Why We Love SF - Salon A
Panelists discuss what draws them to science fiction as viewers, readers, and writers. Moderator: Russ Colchamiro. Panelists: Daniel Patrick Corcoran, Phil Giunta, Susanna Reilly, Stuart Roth
10PM - Midnight - Meet the Pros book fair - Hallway outside Hunt Valley Ballrooms
Here's your chance to meet the authors, purchase their books, and get them signed! Our new anthology, Somewhere in the Middle of Eternity, will debut here with 7 of the 8 authors on hand to sell and sign copies including Daniel Patrick Corcoran, Amanda Headlee, Susanna Reilly, Stuart S. Roth, Steven H. Wilson, Lance Woods, and me!
Saturday, 02 August
1-2PM - Discussion Panel: The Writing Process - Derby Room
Writers discuss their methods and process for creating stories, plots, and characters. Moderator: Russ Colchamiro. Panelists: Phil Giunta, Amanda Headlee, Lorraine Anderson, Danielle Ackley-McPhail, Melissa Scott.
6-7PM - Discussion Panel: Firebringer Press - Salon B
Publisher and award-winning writer, Steven H. Wilson leads a one-hour presentation on the current and future publications from Firebringer Press. We will focus on the launch of our new anthology, Somewhere in the Middle of Eternity. Firebringer writers in attendance: Daniel Patrick Corcoran, Phil Giunta, Amanda Headlee, Susanna Reilly, Stuart S. Roth, and Lance Woods.
Sunday, 03 August
10AM-11AM - Ann Crispin Memorial - McCormick Suite
4-5PM - Discussion Panel: Writing Short Stories vs. Novels - Belmont
Writers discuss the differences between writing short stories and novels and the prep work that goes into both. Moderator: Phil Giunta. Panelists include Aaron Rosenberg, Danielle Ackley-McPhail, Eric Bakutis.
July 24, 2014
WE HAVE A BOOK, PEOPLE!
Having a novel published is a phenomenal feeling, but an anthology is a shared joy that I am so thrilled and honored to share with the most talented group of writer and artists to come into my life: Steven H. Wilson, Daniel Patrick Corcoran, Michael Critzer, Amanda Headlee, Susanna Reilly, Stuart Roth, Lance Woods, Michael Riehl, Chris Winner, and special thanks to my awesome wife, Evon, for her assistance with bringing the cover inline with the distributor's ink density requirements.
WE DID IT!!!!
Somewhere in the Middle of Eternity contains 13 tales of science fiction, fantasy, and the paranormal written by eight exceptionally talented writers and edited by yours truly. Each story is accompanied by a black and white illustration provided by phenomenal artist Mike Riehl, who also provided our gorgeous cover.
The book will launch at the 36th annual Shore Leave SF Convention in Maryland on August 1-3, 2014. It will then be available in paperback and ebook from Amazon, B&N.com, Smashwords, and just about every online reseller.
HOT OFF THE PRESS!!!
WE DID IT!!!!
Somewhere in the Middle of Eternity contains 13 tales of science fiction, fantasy, and the paranormal written by eight exceptionally talented writers and edited by yours truly. Each story is accompanied by a black and white illustration provided by phenomenal artist Mike Riehl, who also provided our gorgeous cover.
The book will launch at the 36th annual Shore Leave SF Convention in Maryland on August 1-3, 2014. It will then be available in paperback and ebook from Amazon, B&N.com, Smashwords, and just about every online reseller.
HOT OFF THE PRESS!!!
July 13, 2014
Chris Winner: Cover Designer in the Middle of Eternity
I think perhaps one of the unsung heroes in publishing is the cover designer, the person that actually creates the layout. This is the process of taking the front cover art and from there, adding the title and formatting the spine and back cover with all the appropriate elements such as the blurb, reviews, the box for the ISBN number, the publisher's logo, etc.
In the case of our upcoming anthology, Somewhere in the Middle of Eternity , that person is long-time friend and graphic artist, Chris Winner. Chris did such excellent work on the layout for my second novel, By Your Side , that I went back to him when my publisher agreed to let me update the cover to my first novel, Testing the Prisoner .
The fantastic images for both covers were created by friend and artist, Laura Inglis . I then mocked up a front and back cover in Powerpoint (yeah, I know, low end) with the blurbs and reviews that I wanted and sent it all to Chris, who works his magic in Adobe Illustrator. Needless to say, my font choices for titles were not always the best. This is where Chris's eye for design truly shines. What he returned was pure gold.
Thus, there was no question that I would ask Chris to layout the cover for Somewhere in the Middle of Eternity. We followed the same process. I mocked up something, sent it to him and my publisher, Steve Wilson of Firebringer Press . After some email discussions, we set Chris to work on the look we wanted and again, he did not disappoint.
Moving forward, I have a paranormal novella that I just finished and, if accepted, will be released strictly as an ebook perhaps in 2015 or early 2016. For this project, I am reaching out to Chris not only to layout the front cover (which is all we'll need for an eBook), but also to create the cover art itself.
Somewhere in the Middle of Eternity will contain 13 tales of science fiction, fantasy, and the paranormal written by eight exceptionally talented writers and edited by yours truly. Each story will accompanied by a black and white illustration provided by phenomenal artist Mike Riehl, who also created our gorgeous cover.
The will be launched at the 36th annual Shore Leave SF convention Maryland on August 1-3. It will then be available in paperback and ebook from Amazon, B&N.com, Smashwords, and just about every online bookseller.
In the case of our upcoming anthology, Somewhere in the Middle of Eternity , that person is long-time friend and graphic artist, Chris Winner. Chris did such excellent work on the layout for my second novel, By Your Side , that I went back to him when my publisher agreed to let me update the cover to my first novel, Testing the Prisoner .
The fantastic images for both covers were created by friend and artist, Laura Inglis . I then mocked up a front and back cover in Powerpoint (yeah, I know, low end) with the blurbs and reviews that I wanted and sent it all to Chris, who works his magic in Adobe Illustrator. Needless to say, my font choices for titles were not always the best. This is where Chris's eye for design truly shines. What he returned was pure gold.
Thus, there was no question that I would ask Chris to layout the cover for Somewhere in the Middle of Eternity. We followed the same process. I mocked up something, sent it to him and my publisher, Steve Wilson of Firebringer Press . After some email discussions, we set Chris to work on the look we wanted and again, he did not disappoint.
Moving forward, I have a paranormal novella that I just finished and, if accepted, will be released strictly as an ebook perhaps in 2015 or early 2016. For this project, I am reaching out to Chris not only to layout the front cover (which is all we'll need for an eBook), but also to create the cover art itself.
Somewhere in the Middle of Eternity will contain 13 tales of science fiction, fantasy, and the paranormal written by eight exceptionally talented writers and edited by yours truly. Each story will accompanied by a black and white illustration provided by phenomenal artist Mike Riehl, who also created our gorgeous cover.
The will be launched at the 36th annual Shore Leave SF convention Maryland on August 1-3. It will then be available in paperback and ebook from Amazon, B&N.com, Smashwords, and just about every online bookseller.
July 4, 2014
Phil Giunta Brings Ghosts, Androids, and Interstellar Gangsters to the Middle of Eternity
When I thought about the format for discussing my own contributions to our upcoming anthology, I was tempted to interview myself...just for laughs, of course.
So, self, tell me what inspired the idea for Somewhere in the Middle of Eternity.
Well, self, it was like this...
As you can imagine, that would get old quickly. In a previous post, I mentioned how the idea for the anthology came about and how I proposed it to Steven H. Wilson of Firebringer Press .
Click here to read that post .
In addition to creating and editing the anthology, I knew I wanted to contribute at least one story. Well, one turned into three over the course of the two years we worked on the project. Permit me to share a brief synopsis of each...
My first story, "Photos from the Attic", follows a single mom as she squares off against a vindictive spirit that kills through old family photos. Sound creepy? No family is perfect. Many have dirty little secrets that are kept for generations. What if someone in the family wants to come back from the great beyond and expose one of those secrets--even if it means claiming a few lives in the process?
My second contribution is a story that I wrote as my homage to the golden age of science fiction. "Water to Share" focuses on an exiled scientist who, while stranded on a desolate planet, makes a discovery that could change the course of history for the known galaxy. First, however, he must deal with a crew of interstellar gangsters who crash land on the planet while fleeing the law. Could these criminals bring salvation or death?
Lastly, in "Don't Go Fussin' Over Me", we encounter Mona Bretton, an ornery old lady who ain't ready to keel over yet, even though members of her family repeatedly drop in to make her "comfortable in her last days". The question is, are these people real or delusions resulting from Mona's failing mind?
To be published by Firebringer Press in August, Somewhere in the Middle of Eternity will contain 13 tales of science fiction, fantasy, and the paranormal written by eight authors. Each story will be accompanied by a black and white illustration provided by artist Mike Riehl, who also created our stunning cover.
Of course, I will be a writer guest at Shore Leave next weekend where we will launch the anthology during the Friday evening Meet the Pros party. It will then be available in paperback and eBook from Amazon, B&N.com, Smashwords, and just about every online bookseller.
So, self, tell me what inspired the idea for Somewhere in the Middle of Eternity.
Well, self, it was like this...
As you can imagine, that would get old quickly. In a previous post, I mentioned how the idea for the anthology came about and how I proposed it to Steven H. Wilson of Firebringer Press .
Click here to read that post .
In addition to creating and editing the anthology, I knew I wanted to contribute at least one story. Well, one turned into three over the course of the two years we worked on the project. Permit me to share a brief synopsis of each...
My first story, "Photos from the Attic", follows a single mom as she squares off against a vindictive spirit that kills through old family photos. Sound creepy? No family is perfect. Many have dirty little secrets that are kept for generations. What if someone in the family wants to come back from the great beyond and expose one of those secrets--even if it means claiming a few lives in the process?
My second contribution is a story that I wrote as my homage to the golden age of science fiction. "Water to Share" focuses on an exiled scientist who, while stranded on a desolate planet, makes a discovery that could change the course of history for the known galaxy. First, however, he must deal with a crew of interstellar gangsters who crash land on the planet while fleeing the law. Could these criminals bring salvation or death?
Lastly, in "Don't Go Fussin' Over Me", we encounter Mona Bretton, an ornery old lady who ain't ready to keel over yet, even though members of her family repeatedly drop in to make her "comfortable in her last days". The question is, are these people real or delusions resulting from Mona's failing mind?
To be published by Firebringer Press in August, Somewhere in the Middle of Eternity will contain 13 tales of science fiction, fantasy, and the paranormal written by eight authors. Each story will be accompanied by a black and white illustration provided by artist Mike Riehl, who also created our stunning cover.
Of course, I will be a writer guest at Shore Leave next weekend where we will launch the anthology during the Friday evening Meet the Pros party. It will then be available in paperback and eBook from Amazon, B&N.com, Smashwords, and just about every online bookseller.
Mike Riehl: Artist in the Middle of Eternity
I’ve known Mike Riehl since 1998 when we met at a SF convention in Valley Forge, PA. We’ve been friends ever since and in September 2013, Mike was the best man at my wedding.
Known in many circles as “
To be published by Firebringer Press in August, Somewhere in the Middle of Eternity will contain 13 tales of science fiction, fantasy, and the paranormal written by eight authors and edited by yours truly. Each story will be accompanied by a black and white illustration provided by Mike, who also created our gorgeous cover.
As usual, Mike will have his dealer table filled with ornaments at Shore Leave where we will launch the anthology at the Friday evening Meet the Pros party. It will then be available in paperback and eBook from Amazon, B&N.com, Smashwords, and just about every online bookseller.
See below for examples of his amazing talent.
Below: A sample of Mike's hand painted ornaments from TV shows such as Star Trek, Stargate SG-1, and Battlestar Galactica.
Below: LeVar Burton couldn't walk away from Shore Leave 35 without a Geordi LaForge ornament from Mike Riehl.
Below: A sample of Mike's interior illustrations in our upcoming anthology and the phenomenal cover!
Known in many circles as “
To be published by Firebringer Press in August, Somewhere in the Middle of Eternity will contain 13 tales of science fiction, fantasy, and the paranormal written by eight authors and edited by yours truly. Each story will be accompanied by a black and white illustration provided by Mike, who also created our gorgeous cover.
As usual, Mike will have his dealer table filled with ornaments at Shore Leave where we will launch the anthology at the Friday evening Meet the Pros party. It will then be available in paperback and eBook from Amazon, B&N.com, Smashwords, and just about every online bookseller.
See below for examples of his amazing talent.
Below: A sample of Mike's hand painted ornaments from TV shows such as Star Trek, Stargate SG-1, and Battlestar Galactica.
Below: LeVar Burton couldn't walk away from Shore Leave 35 without a Geordi LaForge ornament from Mike Riehl.
Below: A sample of Mike's interior illustrations in our upcoming anthology and the phenomenal cover!
June 29, 2014
Lance Woods Brings Classic Mystery Noir to the Middle of Eternity
As with Daniel Patrick Corcoran and Michael Critzer, I met Lance Woods through the Maryland SF convention scene. We were introduced to one another 20 years ago by mutual writer pal (and our then future publisher), Steven H. Wilson. Since then, Lance has gone on to create the audio drama, Superhuman Times. Episodes of this series are podcast on Steve's Prometheus Radio Theatre. Based on that material, Lance's first novel, Heroic Park, was published in 2012 by Firebringer Press.
For our upcoming anthology, Lance takes us into the world of classic radio shows of the 1930s. We're treated to a truly unique adventure as the protagonist's hearing aid picks up an unaired episode of the murder mystery radio series, Intensity!, plunging her further into a deeply personal mystery of her own.
Somewhere in the Middle of Eternity will contain 13 tales of science fiction, fantasy, and the paranormal written by eight authors and edited by yours truly. Each story will be accompanied by a black and white illustration provided by phenomenal artist Mike Riehl, who also created our gorgeous cover.
Lance will be one of the authors joining us at Shore Leave where we will launch the anthology during the Friday evening Meet the Pros party. It will then be available in paperback and eBook from Amazon, B&N.com, Smashwords, and just about every online bookseller.
Most writers have at least one established author who inspired them. Would you share with us some of the authors who influenced you?
Like any kid, I read my share of famous prose authors, like Mark Twain and Jules Verne, but as I got older, my tastes gravitated toward movies, and screenplays and teleplays became my literature of choice. I’ve read and studied many of them over the years, from Ernest Lehman’s North by Northwest (my favorite movie) to Christopher Nolan’s Batman trilogy. I think the two writers whose voices have really stayed with me, though, are Rod Serling (his “Walking Distance” episode of The Twilight Zone never fails to make me cry) and William Goldman (best known for the novel and script for The Princess Bride, but also for Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Magic, Marathon Man, and countless other movies, not to mention some hilarious non-fiction books). I love reading their scripts – especially Goldman’s, because in addition to having kick-ass dialogue, he crafts his exposition and directions to read like he’s in the room with you, telling you the story. I try to do that in my own scripts and stories.
In addition to prose, you also write audio dramas and plays. Tell us about Superhuman Times and how you became involved with Steven H. Wilson’s Prometheus Radio Theatre podcast.
SuperHuman Times is a radio anthology I created for Prometheus around 2006, and it’s set in a world where superhumans lead human lives, among human beings. I like to describe it as stories about the ordinary lives of extraordinary people. As I pitched it to Steve, my goal was to create a radio comic book written by James L. Brooks (Broadcast News, As Good As It Gets). We produced the first five Times stories between 2006-2008, and are finally underway with the second series of stories, which I hope to hear before my 14-year-old son has grandchildren.
I’ve also had two stage plays produced by the Baltimore Playwrights Festival – Breeding Will Tell (1986) and Murder Case (1991) – and spent 10 years writing, producing and directing parodies at s-f conventions with a gifted bunch of people that included fellow Eternity contributors Steve Wilson and Daniel Patrick Corcoran, and was known to fandom-at-large as Cheap Treks. Those stage experiences helped immensely in crafting stories for the Times radio shows as well as the novel they inspired, Heroic Park.
How did your first novel, Heroic Park, come about?
Heroic Park is a direct spin-off of SuperHuman Times (hence the subtitle “A SuperHuman Times Novel”). It evolved from a) Steve asking me if I had any ideas for a Times novel for Firebringer Press and b) my desire to try writing prose after years of writing scripts. It also sprang from my lifelong love of theme parks and my wondering, “What would a theme park be like in a world where people are used to seeing super-powered humans (albeit in everyday professions)?” Since my writing tends to gravitate toward mysteries and capers, that’s what this novel turned out to be. I think it works well within this micro-universe of mine, and people who have read it have told me that they agree. From that perspective, I guess the experiment was a success.
We’re both fans of vintage radio shows, which was one reason why I found your story for our anthology so captivating. Can you give us a quick blurb about “Dead Air”?
“Dead Air” is the story of a young woman, Alex, who works for a satellite radio channel that specializes in old-time radio. One day, she starts hearing, or thinks she’s hearing, an episode from an old radio suspense anthology, Intensity, whenever she nods off. Ultimately, she learns that the episode she’s hearing was the last episode of the series – and that it never aired. And when the lead character in the radio play suddenly calls out, “She’s going to kill you, Alex!”, things get really scary. Is she losing her mind? If she isn’t, is someone really trying to kill her? Or save her? From what, or from whom?
What can readers expect next from you?
More words, I’m afraid. I’m working on the follow-up novel to Heroic Park, currently titled Spellbound. It follows one of the key players in Heroic Park, security expert Nataliya Tzone – the most powerful sorceress in the SuperHuman Times Universe – and her two daughters as they pursue three separate cases that dovetail into each other. I’ve never tried to wrangle this many plot threads before, so I’m probably more curious than readers will be as to how it will come out. I’m also trying to rough out a new play – another mystery, this time for high school productions (if I can get it published). My biggest challenge is just figuring out which project I want to tackle first.
What does Lance Woods do when he isn’t writing?
I write and edit for a living in (the non-glamorous marketing side of) the comic book industry, so someone actually pays me for my words. This helps me provide food, clothing and shelter to my wife Cindy, who’s also a formidable producer for Prometheus, and our son Greg (who, thankfully, hasn’t shown any signs of wanting to be a writer). I also swear under my breath at you and other writer friends for being 100 times more productive than I’ll ever be.
June 27, 2014
Writing Sample - Opening Scene from Root for the Undergods in ReDeus: Beyond Borders
The following is the opening scene from my story, "Root for the Undergods", included in the anthology,
ReDeus: Beyond Borders
. The ReDeus trilogy, published by Crazy 8 Press, explores what would happen if every mythological god from every pantheon on Earth returned in the 21st century. How would our lives be affected? How would these ancient deities reclaim their old domains and worshippers? It's a brave new world where gods and mortals clash--and life will never be the same for either.
Opening scene from "Root for the Undergods"
by Phil Giunta
The core message of all motivational speakers can be boiled down to one simple concept—take control of your life and fulfill your potential. There had been a time when Orlando Start, superstar of the inspirational circuit, raked in seven figures annually simply for preaching that message.
Yet now, a decade into this new age where the destiny of the human race had been torn from its collective grasp by callous deities, how could one fulfill one’s potential when mere survival was questionable? How could people hope to be motivated to better themselves when their will has been stripped and their lives shattered?
Orlando Start no longer had the answers. He couldn’t even save himself.
In the years since “The Return”, the tours had been cancelled, the Blu-Ray sales had bottomed out, and Orlando’s clients, family and friends had immigrated to the lands of their ancestors as commanded by the gods of their fathers.
Battles raged between domestic and foreign pantheons as the Native American gods fought to keep people from fleeing their territories. Still, millions had managed to escape across the globe, hoping to evade death and start anew on foreign soil. Orlando’s wife had been one of them.
Intractable as usual, and despite the odds against him, Orlando had refused to leave the United States or swear fealty to Kishelemukong, the Native American god of the Lenape that ruled over the area. For a time, Orlando’s disobedience went unnoticed in the chaos. He had even managed to live well and quietly off his savings.
Until six months ago, when the gods had finally caught up with him.
Yet rather than kill Orlando outright, the state government had merely blacklisted him from society. All of his debts had become immediately due and his bank accounts frozen. He’d been unable to seek legal counsel or find a job. He couldn’t even buy food at the local grocery store, when it actually had anything in stock. As far as the world was concerned, Orlando Start had ceased to exist.
Here and now, the thirty-eight year old was alone, bankrupt, and days away from living on the streets.
It was 7:30AM on a serene Monday morning as Orlando reclined in the driver’s seat of the Range Rover. In his closed garage, the hum of the engine provided a rhythmic bass to the soft blues sax on the radio. Together, they brought an odd sense of comfort, soothing Orlando’s misery. A few more breaths and it would all be over. I’ll die on the streets anyway. May as well get it over with now. To hell with the house, to hell with the gods, to hell with this life. Orlando closed his eyes and inhaled deeply…
An instant later, a jarring mechanical whine shook him awake. He peered up through the sunroof and watched the panels of the garage door glide by overhead.
“Son of a bitch.” Orlando sat up and squinted against the morning sunlight reflected in the rearview mirror. He climbed out of the car and massaged his throbbing head before running a hand down the side of his stubbled face.
A shadow moved across the floor of the garage and as his vision cleared, Orlando found himself staring at what looked like a reject from a Renaissance Faire. Long brown hair and an unkempt beard framed the craggy face of a man in his mid-50s. He stood well over six feet tall, a head above Orlando, but it was the maroon chainmail tunic and leather body armor that were most striking. Black leather gauntlets, studded in gold, covered his wrists and forearms. Black pants ended at gray fur boots.
The man looked him up and down before speaking in a low, gravely voice. “You are Orlando Start?”
Suddenly self-conscious, Orlando tried in vain to smooth the wrinkles in his grimy polo shirt. He felt the beer stain from the night before and decided instead to cross his arms over his chest. He squared his slumped shoulders in a feeble attempt to preserve what little decorum he had left. “That depends on who’s asking.”
The man bowed his head solemnly. “I am Taranis, god of thunder.”
Orlando paused. “You mean like Zeus or Thor?”
Taranis forced a thin smile. “Yes.”
“Never heard of you.”
“Few have in this age, which is the reason why I’m calling upon you.”
“Come again?”
“I wish to hire you.”
Orlando blinked. “To do what?”
“You are a motivational speaker, are you not?”
“Well…yes.” At least, I was…
“Then we wish to engage your services.”
“We?”
“My pantheon requires motivation.”
“And what pantheon is that?”
“We are Gallic.”
Orlando shrugged.
“Perhaps you’re familiar with the ancient Empire of Gaul in Western Europe.”
“OK, yeah, sure. Sorry, I slept through parts of my Western Civ class in college. Well, actually most of it.”
Taranis raised an eyebrow.
“But I remember Gaul. Though I didn’t know they had gods of their own.”
“That appears to be the popular misconception,” Taranis said, “one that we hope you can help us correct. You see, upon our return, we were dismayed to find that so few historical references about us had survived the ages. We were once a distinct pantheon, but many of our legends have been assimilated into Celtic or Roman lore.
“As a result, we have no followers, no believers, no army to defend against the Romans. They constantly plunder and divide our lands amongst themselves with no regard for the suffering they inflict on the mortals. Our pantheon has been all but forgotten.”
“How many of you are there?”
“At present, we are merely five. However, I suspect there may be others in hiding throughout Europe, awaiting the day when we can unite and reclaim what belongs to us. We hope you will help us accomplish this.”
“Let me see if I understand you. I’m supposed to motivate you and your, uh, colleagues to stand up to the other pantheons so you can take back your lands and reinstate yourselves as respectable, powerful deities who will then engender the love and worship of the people.”
Taranis smiled and spread his arms. “A brilliant summation. Despite appearances, you’re very astute.”
Well, hot damn this is a new one. It could also be the first step to getting my life back. I wonder how far I can press this turn of luck?
“My fee isn’t cheap.”
“Money is of no concern to us. If we are successful, you will have more than you ever dreamed.”
“I dream high.”
Taranis smirked. “Yet you have fallen so low.”
“Says the god who comes to me for help. Look, I can offer support, ideas, and perhaps a different way of looking at a world that has changed dramatically during your absence, but in the end, we all fight our battles alone.”
The god of thunder nodded solemnly. “No truer words have ever been spoken. I take it that you accept the offer?”
Do I have a choice? Orlando Start, motivational speaker, shook hands with the god of thunder.
“So how do we get to your place?”
Taranis nodded toward the Range Rover. “This chariot will be suitable.”
Orlando let out a chuckle. “We’re going to drive to Europe? You realize we’re in Philadelphia, in the United States.”
Taranis opened the back door and climbed in. “Of course. Trust me, young man.”
Shaking his head at the absurdity of it, Orlando climbed into the driver’s seat and turned off the radio. “I just have one last question. How did you even find me?”
“One of my brethren happened across a few of your videos in a rubbish pile. Curious, we viewed your presentations and found them rather inspiring, so we followed the advice on the packaging.”
“Let me guess—”
“Call Orlando right away and Start changing your life today!” the two sang in unison.
Orlando closed his eyes. I hate that goddamn jingle. He looked at Taranis in the rearview mirror. “So, where to?”
“Bring us out into the road.”
“Which direction?”
“It matters not.”
A moment later, the Range Rover was in the middle of the street. Taranis leaned forward. “I shall take it from here.”
“What?”
The vehicle began moving, slowly at first, then suddenly accelerating at an impossible rate. Panicked, Orlando stepped on the brake pedal to no avail.
“Stop! What the hell are you doing?” Orlando pointed to the upcoming intersection. “The light’s red!”
“Yes, a most cheerful color it is.”
Orlando cringed as the Range Rover blasted across the intersection. Angry horns and screeching tires faded into the distance as the car raced toward the expressway. Orlando cussed, threatened, pleaded and finally begged Taranis to stop, but the god merely laughed.
Orlando could do nothing but scream as the speedometer topped off at 220MPH on their way toward morning rush hour.
Then, there was lightning.
Opening scene from "Root for the Undergods"
by Phil Giunta
The core message of all motivational speakers can be boiled down to one simple concept—take control of your life and fulfill your potential. There had been a time when Orlando Start, superstar of the inspirational circuit, raked in seven figures annually simply for preaching that message.
Yet now, a decade into this new age where the destiny of the human race had been torn from its collective grasp by callous deities, how could one fulfill one’s potential when mere survival was questionable? How could people hope to be motivated to better themselves when their will has been stripped and their lives shattered?
Orlando Start no longer had the answers. He couldn’t even save himself.
In the years since “The Return”, the tours had been cancelled, the Blu-Ray sales had bottomed out, and Orlando’s clients, family and friends had immigrated to the lands of their ancestors as commanded by the gods of their fathers.
Battles raged between domestic and foreign pantheons as the Native American gods fought to keep people from fleeing their territories. Still, millions had managed to escape across the globe, hoping to evade death and start anew on foreign soil. Orlando’s wife had been one of them.
Intractable as usual, and despite the odds against him, Orlando had refused to leave the United States or swear fealty to Kishelemukong, the Native American god of the Lenape that ruled over the area. For a time, Orlando’s disobedience went unnoticed in the chaos. He had even managed to live well and quietly off his savings.
Until six months ago, when the gods had finally caught up with him.
Yet rather than kill Orlando outright, the state government had merely blacklisted him from society. All of his debts had become immediately due and his bank accounts frozen. He’d been unable to seek legal counsel or find a job. He couldn’t even buy food at the local grocery store, when it actually had anything in stock. As far as the world was concerned, Orlando Start had ceased to exist.
Here and now, the thirty-eight year old was alone, bankrupt, and days away from living on the streets.
It was 7:30AM on a serene Monday morning as Orlando reclined in the driver’s seat of the Range Rover. In his closed garage, the hum of the engine provided a rhythmic bass to the soft blues sax on the radio. Together, they brought an odd sense of comfort, soothing Orlando’s misery. A few more breaths and it would all be over. I’ll die on the streets anyway. May as well get it over with now. To hell with the house, to hell with the gods, to hell with this life. Orlando closed his eyes and inhaled deeply…
An instant later, a jarring mechanical whine shook him awake. He peered up through the sunroof and watched the panels of the garage door glide by overhead.
“Son of a bitch.” Orlando sat up and squinted against the morning sunlight reflected in the rearview mirror. He climbed out of the car and massaged his throbbing head before running a hand down the side of his stubbled face.
A shadow moved across the floor of the garage and as his vision cleared, Orlando found himself staring at what looked like a reject from a Renaissance Faire. Long brown hair and an unkempt beard framed the craggy face of a man in his mid-50s. He stood well over six feet tall, a head above Orlando, but it was the maroon chainmail tunic and leather body armor that were most striking. Black leather gauntlets, studded in gold, covered his wrists and forearms. Black pants ended at gray fur boots.
The man looked him up and down before speaking in a low, gravely voice. “You are Orlando Start?”
Suddenly self-conscious, Orlando tried in vain to smooth the wrinkles in his grimy polo shirt. He felt the beer stain from the night before and decided instead to cross his arms over his chest. He squared his slumped shoulders in a feeble attempt to preserve what little decorum he had left. “That depends on who’s asking.”
The man bowed his head solemnly. “I am Taranis, god of thunder.”
Orlando paused. “You mean like Zeus or Thor?”
Taranis forced a thin smile. “Yes.”
“Never heard of you.”
“Few have in this age, which is the reason why I’m calling upon you.”
“Come again?”
“I wish to hire you.”
Orlando blinked. “To do what?”
“You are a motivational speaker, are you not?”
“Well…yes.” At least, I was…
“Then we wish to engage your services.”
“We?”
“My pantheon requires motivation.”
“And what pantheon is that?”
“We are Gallic.”
Orlando shrugged.
“Perhaps you’re familiar with the ancient Empire of Gaul in Western Europe.”
“OK, yeah, sure. Sorry, I slept through parts of my Western Civ class in college. Well, actually most of it.”
Taranis raised an eyebrow.
“But I remember Gaul. Though I didn’t know they had gods of their own.”
“That appears to be the popular misconception,” Taranis said, “one that we hope you can help us correct. You see, upon our return, we were dismayed to find that so few historical references about us had survived the ages. We were once a distinct pantheon, but many of our legends have been assimilated into Celtic or Roman lore.
“As a result, we have no followers, no believers, no army to defend against the Romans. They constantly plunder and divide our lands amongst themselves with no regard for the suffering they inflict on the mortals. Our pantheon has been all but forgotten.”
“How many of you are there?”
“At present, we are merely five. However, I suspect there may be others in hiding throughout Europe, awaiting the day when we can unite and reclaim what belongs to us. We hope you will help us accomplish this.”
“Let me see if I understand you. I’m supposed to motivate you and your, uh, colleagues to stand up to the other pantheons so you can take back your lands and reinstate yourselves as respectable, powerful deities who will then engender the love and worship of the people.”
Taranis smiled and spread his arms. “A brilliant summation. Despite appearances, you’re very astute.”
Well, hot damn this is a new one. It could also be the first step to getting my life back. I wonder how far I can press this turn of luck?
“My fee isn’t cheap.”
“Money is of no concern to us. If we are successful, you will have more than you ever dreamed.”
“I dream high.”
Taranis smirked. “Yet you have fallen so low.”
“Says the god who comes to me for help. Look, I can offer support, ideas, and perhaps a different way of looking at a world that has changed dramatically during your absence, but in the end, we all fight our battles alone.”
The god of thunder nodded solemnly. “No truer words have ever been spoken. I take it that you accept the offer?”
Do I have a choice? Orlando Start, motivational speaker, shook hands with the god of thunder.
“So how do we get to your place?”
Taranis nodded toward the Range Rover. “This chariot will be suitable.”
Orlando let out a chuckle. “We’re going to drive to Europe? You realize we’re in Philadelphia, in the United States.”
Taranis opened the back door and climbed in. “Of course. Trust me, young man.”
Shaking his head at the absurdity of it, Orlando climbed into the driver’s seat and turned off the radio. “I just have one last question. How did you even find me?”
“One of my brethren happened across a few of your videos in a rubbish pile. Curious, we viewed your presentations and found them rather inspiring, so we followed the advice on the packaging.”
“Let me guess—”
“Call Orlando right away and Start changing your life today!” the two sang in unison.
Orlando closed his eyes. I hate that goddamn jingle. He looked at Taranis in the rearview mirror. “So, where to?”
“Bring us out into the road.”
“Which direction?”
“It matters not.”
A moment later, the Range Rover was in the middle of the street. Taranis leaned forward. “I shall take it from here.”
“What?”
The vehicle began moving, slowly at first, then suddenly accelerating at an impossible rate. Panicked, Orlando stepped on the brake pedal to no avail.
“Stop! What the hell are you doing?” Orlando pointed to the upcoming intersection. “The light’s red!”
“Yes, a most cheerful color it is.”
Orlando cringed as the Range Rover blasted across the intersection. Angry horns and screeching tires faded into the distance as the car raced toward the expressway. Orlando cussed, threatened, pleaded and finally begged Taranis to stop, but the god merely laughed.
Orlando could do nothing but scream as the speedometer topped off at 220MPH on their way toward morning rush hour.
Then, there was lightning.
June 22, 2014
About This Writing Stuff...
This week, Andy Weir credits science for making his first book, The Martian, a stellar success. Paul Kupperberg reminisces about the launch of his incredible career in the comic book industry. IndieReader warns us of new methods of plagiarism while Konrath takes Hachette to task over their latest investor propaganda. Jodie Renner provides a comprehensive list of questions that authors should ask their beta-readers, and Amanda Headlee stresses the importance of research.
All that and a little more. Enjoy!
How Science Made Me a Writer by Andy Weir
Three Men and a Writer by Paul Kupperberg
The Problem with Plagiarism by IndieReader
The Hachette Job by Joe Konrath
15 Questions for Your Beta-Readers and to Focus Your Own Revisions by Jodie Renner
The Four Characteristics of Author Attitude and Why You Need Them by Nina Amir
Because Size Matters: McKee's Four Tips on Writing a Big Story by Jan O'Hara
Don't Make Me Call BS! by Amanda Headlee
All that and a little more. Enjoy!
How Science Made Me a Writer by Andy Weir
Three Men and a Writer by Paul Kupperberg
The Problem with Plagiarism by IndieReader
The Hachette Job by Joe Konrath
15 Questions for Your Beta-Readers and to Focus Your Own Revisions by Jodie Renner
The Four Characteristics of Author Attitude and Why You Need Them by Nina Amir
Because Size Matters: McKee's Four Tips on Writing a Big Story by Jan O'Hara
Don't Make Me Call BS! by Amanda Headlee
