Mette Ivie Harrison's Blog, page 61

Making Heaven Part 1

I have struggled off and on with my religion (Mormonism) for many years. Some of that time, I have been very happy with it. Other times not. Looking back, it seems clear to me that when I am struggling with my religion, I am really struggling with my sense of self, with my purpose in the world, and with my sense of goodness in the world. I have spent about a year reading and rereading the Sermon on the Mount, sometimes all in one night, sometimes one verse at a time. I am not generally very open about my religion, but I wondered if it might be interesting for those of you who are to read a little about what I have been thinking about on this vein over the next few weeks.

I'm going to talk about a verse or two at a time, and why I think that the Sermon on the Mount is a primer on how to create paradise or heaven or Zion or whatever you want to call it. I think I have been most upset when I have felt like the magical God I want to exist has not come and saved me from the evils of the world. But lately, I have come to the conclusion that God is only there to show us what goodness is, and that it is our job to create paradise by becoming like Him, right here, right now.

Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Many read this as a promise that after death, the poor in spirit will be granted the gift of the kingdom of heaven, that God somehow makes the world fair by compensating those who are cheated by the normal everyday process of life. This reading tends to encourage people to simply accept what lot they are given in life rather than trying to change it. Certainly, some political systems would like people to think this is what Christianity means. It's what Marx meant when he said that religion was the opiate of the masses.

What if you read this as having nothing to do with an after life? What if the promise is that those who are poor in spirit will be granted the kingdom of heaven right now? Or not right now, immediately, but that the result of being poor in spirit will be the creation of a society which could be called heaven.

What does it mean to be poor in spirit? To be humble, to not think of yourself, to help others. If you are humble and help others, what is the natural, this-world consequence of that? I won't argue that in every case, you get a return, but the more people who act this way, the more others reflect this attitude back to them. And that makes the world a better place. If everyone were to act this way, wouldn't that be heaven?

Being poor in spirit also means to be vulnerable, wounded, to have suffered deeply. As an artist, I wonder sometimes if the real requirement to be an artist is to have something to say, to have been wounded, and to need to work out that wound in some metaphorical way. If you are poor in spirit and have suffered deeply, you may feel that you are the least capable of changing the world. But it isn't true. Your understanding is what will help create a world in which understanding for others suffering is valued. And your art, if you find the strength to create it, will enrich the lives of all.

Not only will you create a world where suffering is not glossed over or ignored or discounted as being “deserved,” but you will create a world where art is plentiful, where artists are valued and compensated (my idea of heaven) and where people are lifted by the art that suits them. Our world has become one in which art is very plentiful, and while this means that it is more and more difficult to choose one “great” artist, it means that everyone who is suffering can find someone else whose suffering vision of the world matches their own, validates and uplifts them. Again, this is my vision of paradise.

Monday Book Recs--Blink by Wynne-Jones and The Killing Moon by Jemisin

The Killing Moon by NK Jemisin

This book begins with the idea of using magic to kill people, but in a kind way. The characters who are introduced to the reader in the beginning with this death magic are all good characters. One of them makes a mistake in using the death magic early on, but we forgive him. He is thoughtful and caring and feels horribly guilty that he has been misled and used his magic badly. There is also the idea that souls live on, and so a person who has died in this life is going to be happy in the life to come, and it mitigates the guilt a bit.

I liked this idea, not only because the idea itself was interesting, but also because Jemisin does a great job in creating characters who have interesting conflicts and relationships. And also because the worldbuilding is great. This is a fully fleshed out world. Jemisin admits that she bases the world on ancient Egypt, and allows that she has made changes that she had to for her story. I suspect that every author actually does this, whether they admit it or not. The best world building is based on some world that has actually existed. This allows us to research the details and twist them as necessary. It also works for the reader because it draws us in by showing us that this has happened before, and it will happen again. It gives verisimilitude.

Jemisin is a brilliant writer who makes me feel as if I am always in the hands of someone who is just a little like me as a reader and not at all like me as a writer, a good feeling. I trust that she will surprise me in all the right ways and that she will never leave any thread untouched unless she means it to be precisely that way. I suspect at this point, I will buy anything she cares to write.

Blink and Caution by Tim Wynne-Jones

On the one hand, this is a thriller of a mystery, with high stakes, a faked kidnapping, wealthy people telling lies and manipulating the media and two teens who find out the truth and are in danger. Blink is the boy who sees the kidnapping happen--and it isn't as scary as it should be. Caution is the girl who plans to rob him, but changes her mind.

On the other hand, this is a story about teens in jeopardy. Caution has a dark secret, but her current life is just about as down and out as it can get. Blink is trying to make good choices in a world in which morals don't make much sense to him, after the life he has seen.

There is just enough reality in this book to make me ache, and just enough fun in it to make me keep turning the pages, and I'm not sure there's any higher compliment than that to offer a writer.

Friday Tri: One Little Thing

If you want to really change your life, change one little thing. But change it for reals. Not just once.

I think the biggest problem people have who want to make changes in their lives (and not just in terms of health and fitness) is that they bite off more than they can chew. They get all excited about exercising and they set a New Years Resolution to exercise EVERY DAY for an hour, because someone told them that's the recommendation of the government. Whatever.

If you want to make a change in your life, look at yourself. Look at who you are. Look at what you are doing right now. And then make a teensy, tiny change that will not upset everything that is already part of your life.

There are really extraordinary people who change everything about their lives, who overcome drug addiction by giving up all their friends, and not going to any of the same places anymore. But most people--don't do this.

If you are not a morning person, you are probably not going to want to exercise in the morning. If you are not a night owl, you are not going to want to exercise last thing before you climb into bed. If you love butter, choose something else that's unhealthy to give up. Sure, you have to give up something, but don't give up the things that you care about the most.

I remember when my husband lost a bunch of weight a few years ago, he kept a food diary and realized how many calories he was spending on soda. He likes soda, but he decided that it was so easy to give that up and he didn't have to change a lot of other things. He gave up eating a whole bag of chips, and now pours a bowl of them instead. Little changes.

When I started running with my kids, it was hard to get them to run around a 400 meter track once. That's where we started, and 6 years later, 4 of them ran a 1/2 marathon. It started with a small change, and it grew bit by bit as they enjoyed it more.

If you hate running, don't make a goal to go running (unless you decide you hate it because you're out of shape and want to change that). There are a lot of different ways to exercise. Choose one that you like, and make tiny, tiny goals. Try to get out 3 times a week and do 15 minutes. Come on, anyone can do 15 minutes. But don't let yoursef skip a day. Make a goal you can stick to even when you're not at your best.

You Are Lovable and Capable

A great friend of mine told me recently that we humans need to believe we are both lovable and capable to function well in life. If you give your children the message that they are lovable, but not capable, then they can be paralyzed by challenges that they have never faced before and have no confidence in. If your children get the message they are capable, but not lovable, they will end up doing, doing, doing, without ever having the ability to slow down, take a break, and feel a bit of happiness. If you give your children neither, they will have neither the confidence to attempt the new nor the belief that whatever they do, there is a soft place for them to land.

Guess which problem I have? Me, with my list of accomplishments? I believe I can do anything. I tip my hat to my parents for that. No matter what job there was around the house: painting, changing the oil on the car, pouring cement for steps, or tarring the roof--we could figure out how to do that. My dad modeled this well in particular. Jobs didn't get done always the right way, but they got done and he didn't often think he had to wait for someone else to come and help him figure things out. But perhaps because he himself did not believe he was lovable unless he was working, I think he left his kids with the impression that if we weren't doing something, we weren't justifying our existence.

There is a particular song in Mormonism where we used to sing, "Only he who does something is worthy to live" (the words have been changed now for obvious reasons). There are sure a lot of old Mormon songs about getting jobs done. We are good at that part. At working on perfecting ourselves. But the standing still, watching the sunset, enjoying life, believing that we matter despite mistakes--that's a lot harder.

Now my dad wonders why he has 11 children who all suffer with one form or another of workaholism. We are so like him. Capable, but not always lovable.

Writing Wednesday: Being Willing to Revise

A lot of professional writers talk about revision and how important it is. But I think most beginners don't really understand what we mean when we say "revision." They imagine that "revision" is about making your words prettier, making sure there are no typos, that there aren't inconsistensies, and that you have the right ratio of description to dialog and action.

This is not "revision." This is "copyediting." I don't mean to knock copyeditors because they have saved my bacon on numerous occasions. But when you are revising, you are not looking at the little stuff. You are looking at the big stuff. You have to be willing to change the big stuff.

Here are some big things I have changed in the course of my professional career:
1. Made a mirror human (Mira, Mirror).
2. Given the viewpoint character magic (Prince George in The Princess and the Hound).
3. Changed from an alternating day and night/Ladyhawke relationship to both characters being human most of the time (The Princess and the Bear)
4. Told the story about a year before the original first chapter began, and essentially deleted everything else (The Monster In Me).
5. Cut out the entire first 100 pages because they don't happen before the main characters become teens (The Rose Throne).
6. Cut out several minor characters I loved (The Rose Throne).
7. Cut out some of my favorite scenes (all of my books).

The main problem I see with writers who are nearly there and writers who are already there is the people who are willing to make the big changes.

I know, every once in a while, there is an author who seems to sell a book in first draft form. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but I am often a little skeptical about this. Maybe they aren't lying to make a good story, but I suspect authors who do this have actually spent YEARS writing and rewriting other novels before their subconcious figures out the way to tell a story right the first time. And I daresay that these same authors do not have that good luck the second time around, and that they have to figure out how to do extensive revisions later on.

Here is my message to beginning writers:

You cannot count on your first draft being good enough to sell. It doesn't mean that you are a bad writer or doomed to failure if you try out different ways to tell a story. It also doesn't mean that if you try out different ways, this will be the story that breaks you into publishing. Some stories won't work and no one knows why. Other stories work immediately and we also don't know why. You just keep telling stories the best way you know how. You tell them one way and then another way and then another way until you get it right or you give up and work on something else. There is no shame in needing to throw everything out and start over again.

Questions to Ask Yourself About Your Setting

Is this a specific place and not a generic one?

What do people who love this place love about it?

What do people who have lived here all their lives know about it that no one else does?

What do the tourist books about this place think is interesting?

What do the best tour guides show or tell about this place?

What are the smells here?

What sounds can only be heard here?

What is the ugliest thing about this place?

What do people hate about this place?

What foods are unique to this place?

What is the biggest danger to this place?

What are the natural geographic boundaries to this place?

When has this place been conquered and what are the results of that?

What immigrants come to this place?

What monuments or statues have been built here and to whom or to what?

What building material is frequently used here?

What architectural style is used here?

What are streets made of?

What is in the distance, beyond the horizon?

What is forbidden here?

What is the weather typically like here? What kinds of storms come? What happens when natural disasters strike? Who is hit the worst? What does not recover?

Monday Book Recs--Love Virtually by Glattauer and The One and Only Ivan by Applegate

Love Virtually by Daniel Glattauer

This book was an international best seller. I read it in the English translation, not the German original, but I was drawn to the book because of my German roots. The idea is the kind of thing that could be done well or badly and might still end up as a best seller. It is inevitable. Someone had to do it, but Glattauer does it well. The novel is an update of the old idea of a novel in letters, but instead a novel in emails. We never get any story from the two characters' heads, only what they write in their emails to each other. This ends up having some interesting consequences. We never really know if they are telling the truth or lying to each other. We do have a final email from a different character, and I will try not to spoil the book by saying who that is.

I thought the story was well done. On the one hand, it goes the way you might expect an internet romance would. I liked that it followed my expectation there. People imagine they have more intimacy on-line than they really do and I think we humans still need touch and feel and smell to fall in real love. And lying is the way to ruin real romance, in my opinion. But it isn't done with any sense of disdain for the characters. We see why they long for love and why they are constrained to get it in this limited way. We also see their heistation, their own disbelief in love on the internet.

For me personally, because I have actually seen at least one case of romance on the internet that turned out well, there was always a sense of suspense—well, maybe it could work out. The ending was dramatic and it also fit. I recommend it. It's a quick read, but for me, it worked as a romance with new tropes and old touches. Yes, remember, it doesn't end with a HEA.

The One and Only Ivan by Katherine Applegate

There is a long history of children's books about animals, but nonetheless, I wondered for the first section of this book if it was going to be a book entirely about the sad life of a gorilla in a cage. It isn't. There is a child character who absolutely rightly becomes the hero of the story, never once taking away from the heroism of Ivan the gorilla. The voice of Ivan felt so right to me. Of course, who knows what that means? Not having ever heard the thoughts of a gorilla, this is in many ways a fantasy book as much as realism. My kind of fantasy, too, since I'm always interested in animals who behave in more realistic than fantastical ways (in part because I don't like to see animals become sparkly unicorns who are there to move the plot forward and to help the humans out—not exactly what I think animals exist to do). No one is really a villain here, not even the villain. I love the kind of writing that refuses to take the easy way out and paint minor characters in broad brush strokes. Ivan uses few words, but he is fair and honest in his depictions of the humans around him. Possibly the best middle grade I've read in the last two years.

I Beat Peter Vidmar: Utah Half Race Report 2012

Yes, Peter Vidmar, Olympic gold medal gymnast was at the race yesterday, and yes, I beat him. I’m sure he’s just doing the race for fun, but it was still kind of fun to beat someone, anyone really.

The best parts of this race:

1. Doing it with the family. Matt and I did the individual race. Then the kids did a relay. Originally, Hope was going to do the swim, but she went off to MIT early for a job, so Faith had to pinch hit. At 12, this was her first open water racing experience and it was tricky. We asked Grandma and Grandpa to come along so that she could have someone there to help when she got out of the water. Sam (15) did the bike, in 3:16, about 4 minutes slower than Matt, which is pretty cool. Sage (16) did the run in sweltering August heat from about 12-2:30. All the courses were a little long, by my calculation, which was frustrating for the kids.

I got to see Sam on the bike, Sage on the run a number of times. I tried to look out for Faith in the swim, because she started out before me, but I never did see her. The kids made their goal of finishing under 7 hours by 28.5 seconds and I got to announce them as the youngest relay when they crossed the finish line. So cool!

2. Surprise! A bike flat was one of my favorites parts. (Matt had one, too.) Mine happened about 7 miles into the course, after I’d seen about 6 people changing flats. I thought about the fact that I hadn’t had any flats in racing or training this year, and really, even though no one likes a flat, this wasn’t my A race, so I wouldn’t be that unhappy about it. The tire went flat in about one second, and there I was. I calmly got out my tire changing kit. It was the back tire, which is a little trickier than the front, and took a little longer. I can do the front in about 5 minutes flat, but this time the back tire took me 8:40. A number of racers called out condolences as they past me. I was actually so proud of myself that I handled it without help, without cursing, and had everything I needed. I got back on my bike, kept my head in the game, and finished in an awesome time, considering.

3. For the first time in my life, I was able to finish a half Ironman run without getting so nauseated I was reduced to walking. This is mainly because I took in a lot fewer calories. For years, I had been listening to the advice that you need to take in lots of calories to do a long race. Well, it isn’t true for me and it especially isn’t true on the run. I did experience some nausea on the bike, and taking in more calories actually solved that. But on the run, I took about 150 calories total, mostly drinking water rather than gatorade and sticking to my tried and true Gu Chomps. It was so great to feel the fun of running. I admit, I did not push myself hard. I wanted to make sure I had energy to the end. So that made it a lot more enjoyable than most races. I just kept at a steady running pace that felt easy.

4. After the race, I got to talk to a number of the women who had passed me while I was out dealing with my flat and whom I passed again. One was a woman who has beat me in every other race I’ve been in with her, but this was her first longer race. She beat me by about 40 seconds this time, but with my flat, I’m considering that a win. They all seemed impressed that I handled the flat just fine and got back out there. A lot of racers end up giving up after a mechanical because it does make it hard to come back from. I ended up getting 2nd in my age group, 9th overall. The finish time was 5:26.11 (37:32 swim 2:45 bike 2:00 run).

5. The race director. There is always a “mandatory” athlete meeting before the race starts. Usually, the meeting is useful for people who are first time athletes. For me, I feel like my time is being wasted. Nonetheless, I end up listening to it, and wondering at the strange renditions of the USAT rules about drafting, etc. This time, the race director was pretty hilarious, insisting that this race was for many of us, “the meridian of your lives,” that we were about to embark on a dream that “for many of your family members would be impossible” and that “less than 1% of the history of the human race has ever accomplished such a feat.” It got us going pretty good. Laughter=the best race pump up.

Friday Tri: Going Faster At 40

A friend asked me recently if I was still getting faster in races at my age. I told her that I was. She wanted to know how I managed to do that, since most people tend to slow down.

The first part of the answer is that I was never much of an athlete before I hit 35, so I have some space to keep getting faster. I am not bothered by the realization that I will never be as fast as I was in high school. I wasn’t fast in high school. I’m faster now.

The second part of the answer is a little more complicated. The reality is that I don’t do harder workouts than I used to do 8 years ago. I try to save going hard for races most of the time, and I race twice a month on average in the summer. In fact, in a lot of ways I try to do things to make training easier.

a—I sleep more. Years ago, I believed that I was one of those lucky people who got by on 5-6 hours of sleep a night. This was a lie I told myself. I was always frustrated about my lack of performance on race day. Now I sleep 8-9 hours a night. All that training has to be absorbed, and it happens during sleep.

b—I eat better. And when I say that, I don’t mean that I try to eat better, which is what I used to do. I mean I actually monitor what I eat. I write it all down in a computerized log and I have specific targets each day and then different targets the week before a race. For my weight, I try to get 300 grams of carbs in every day the week before the race, and try to keep my fiber intake to 10 grams the day before a race. I keep protein at 50 grams a day minimum and fat has to be below 20% of my daily calories.

c—I keep a journal of my training. This is cheap and it honestly doesn’t take much time, no more than 1-2 minutes a day. I write down what I did (swim, bike, run, weights, yoga) and how long I did it for in hours and minutes. I write down mph and incline if I’m on the treadmill and watts if I’m on the bike indoors. If not, I write down the route I took and approximate mileage. What this does it let me page back to any day in the last 6 years and see what I was doing. If I want race results like last year, I try to mimic last year’s workouts the weeks leading up to that race.

d—I race less often. It can be tempting for me to simply do any race that comes along. Small races that are locally run are fun because they require less driving, cost less, and allow me to place overall. But doing too many of those kinds of races leads to fatigue that builds up and impacts my larger races. So I don’t do it.

e—simple rule: never use something on race day that you haven’t used in training. I cannot tell you how many times I have messed up a race not listening to this simple rule. A new top or pair of shorts or shoes. Or socks. Or fuel. Just don’t do it. Stick with what you know works.

f—have fun. Yes, racing is hard work, but there is a glorious feeling in knowing your body has been honed to perfection for a race, in feeling the motion that your body can do now and couldn’t before. There is the cameraderie of racing with others in the same event, some friends or family. And there is the pleasure of the finish line.

Writing Wednesday: Finding Time to Write

This is a bit of my talk from WIFYR:

Everyone has the same 24 hours a day
If you want to add writing (or more writing) to your current schedule, the first simple principle is that you will have to make room by taking something else out.No one is going to make writing time for you. You will have to wrest it away from other commitments, and it will not be painless.If you have nothing you can give up, you will not find time to write.What should you give up?
Cleaning is on the top of my list.
Close doors of your children’s rooms or any rooms you need to.

Look, see how simple it is.

Open... then closed.
Much cleaner.

See my entire post here:

http://cynthialeitichsmith.blogspot.c...