Yahtzee Croshaw's Blog, page 6

Eggs On Additional Legs

Aaand here's the second instalment of the egg-cellent adventure that began here. In this concluding half, Dizzy visits Australia, ascends to the heavens (about fifty feet off the ground) and rescues his woman from a profoundly disinterested antagonist.



Ha ha ha. 'Henpecked'. And he's an egg. We could've made a little joke out of that, couldn't we.

Eggs On Legs

Well, while we're waiting for all my various more interesting ventures to bear fruit, here's another thing me and Gabe did.



I haven't done a Let's Play since, ooh, 2007 I think, but the other weekend I recorded a quick playthrough of the first game I remember capturing my imagination in childhood. Then we talked all over it like a pair of bellends. Hope you like it.

Show & Tell Returns

Yes, that subject line is by no means pulling your pud. Gabriel is back in town (actually he's been back in time for a while but we've been very tired) and he and I recorded yet another horrible podcast together. Sorry, that sentence should probably have ended with an exclamation mark because you're all so excited. Here it is. !

Show & Tell Podcast 3 by yahtzee19


On this podcast we kind of found it impossible to stick to one subject for any length of time (we're trying to think of more disciplined variations to the format) but the starting topics were sunburn, movie novelizations and Fisherman's Friends. The ending topics tended to be too unpleasant to mention, so don't listen to this with your Auntie Pam.

Also, in case you missed it, I talked about Poacher a wee bit in one of my Extra Punctuation columns a while back. Here it is.

Poach And Horses

Alright, well, remember in the last post from all those months ago when I said I was working on another free game? Well, that's still the case. And here's a trailer I made for it while messing around with VirtualDub, which will suffice as an announcement, I suppose. Maybe watch the video in a resolution larger than this blog's format will allow because it looks a bit shit otherwise.



The game's called Poacher, as can be inferred, it's a Metroidvania-style platformer that's somewhat influenced by Cave Story amongst other games. You play Derek Badger, unflappable Yorkshireman, who stumbles upon a strange underground kingdom and gets caught up in a conflict between two mysterious magical races. I'm making it in Game Maker because current generation technology frightens me.

Sorry, I can't say when it'll be in a fit state for release. As I mentioned I'm waiting on some music, and I also need to get some proper focus testing done (don't volunteer, it's in hand). Also sorry it's not a playable demo. Trust me, I hate game trailers too, but most of this one actually shows gameplay. Sorry, also, for using Times Roman as the font in it. I showed it to someone and they said that was a horrible choice of font but I couldn't be bothered to go back to my source files.

And sorry for not updating for ages again. Rest assured the Mogworld audiobook project still weighs heavy on my mind. Sorry about going quiet on that, too. Basically I'm sorry. I-I'm sorry for everything.

Hello There

Welp, guess it's pretty cocky of me to assume anyone's still checking this blog on a regular basis, but for what it's worth, I haven't forgotten it. Just seems like all I do is post links to new ZPs and XPs on the Escapist, and that doesn't make a whole lot of sense when more people check the Escapist regularly than they do this site. So I'm not going to bother anymore. In future, assume there's a new Zero Punctuation video every Wednesday (Thursday for me) and a new Extra Punctuation column every Tuesday (Wednesday for me, fucking international date line). If there isn't, I am probably already being sued for not fulfilling my contract.

Fact is, I've put off updating this site and doing pretty much anything except my professional obligations because I've had another flare-up of the old depression that's been building up for quite some time. I'm on top of it, though. Don't feel you need to post sympathies because there's nothing more excruciating than people walking on eggshells around - oh, you weren't planning to post sympathies? Oh. Well, good. Good, actually.

Before you close this tab, O bored and inattentive reader, there's a couple of upcoming things on the horizon that may interest you. I've been working on another freeware game. That's a redundant statement because I'm always doing that, but I'm close to finishing one for once.

I'm just waiting on some more testing and some music tracks from the ever-willing Mark Lovegrove, and it won't be long before it's in a releasable state. It's a platform game that I've been making in Game Maker, for want of expanding my knowledge of free game development tools for retards, with a Metroidvania-style explorative sprawl to its nature. I may have dropped hints about it in Extra Punctuation here and there. I'll keep you posted.

The other interesting thing is an update on Mogworld. The digital edition is still pending, for all you people with a really big guilt thing over dead trees, but as I've said before, that one is out of my hands. If you want someone to nag, you'd be better off nagging the publishers Dark Horse directly. Tell them you and all your friends will buy the digital edition and they'll probably make enough money for them to have fresh flowers in the lobby every single day. That might help.

But after a certain amount of nagging on my part Dark Horse have also released to me the audio book rights of Mogworld so that I can record it myself and publish it independently. So, not to put too fine a point on it, I'm going to be doing that. It's just a matter of summoning the effort to do so, which for reasons explored early in this update may be harder than it sounds, but I think if I advertise it here it'll put pressure on me. Also, have to figure out how I'm going to do the chat log bits in spoken form.

So, yay, audio book version of Mogworld coming soon. You'll be able to listen to the text in my dulcet tones while jogging or murdering or whatever you do. It'll probably tide you over until my second novel comes out WHOOPS YOU DIDN'T HEAR THAT

None Too Trivial

Here we go again because I put off updating for a while:



ZPs: FEAR 3, Ocarina of Time 3D, Call of Juarez: The Cartel

XPs: Oh just go down the archive page



Now, I must apologise for there not being a quiz in the Brisbane Mana Bar this week, because I'm preparing for the inaugural trivia night at Melbourne when I head down to that other city next week.





I've made the details tiresomely clear many times over the last 30 quizzes I've done in Brisbane, but here they are again for you shiny new Melbourne peeps: show up on the night before 7 to register a team of 2 to 6 players. No one-man teams, but if you do show up alone we'll group you up with other people so you make many new friends. There are 4 rounds of 36 questions in all, half of which are gaming related, half of which are general. Also: prizes. Things will be fun.



But if you miss the night (Tuesday, August 16th) and you desperately need to question me on my opinion on Kingdom Hearts or whatever, I'm going to be in Melbourne for the week, and will no doubt be stopping in the bar on several evenings. I'm there for the Freeplay event at the State Library of Victoria, a wonderful festival of independent games and the examination of gaming as culture and all that. I'm taking part in a panel on Sunday the 21st called The Words That We Use in which we'll discuss the importance of criticism and the critical culture around art. There will no doubt be fun to be had. Tickets are on sale for the conference, but there's also going to be a FREE expo with FREE interviews for those of you who aren't committed. Things, too, will be fun.

Mana From Heaven

ZPs: Infamous 2, Alice: Madness Returns, Shadows of the Damned
XPs: Maturity, Infamous 2 and weapons

Now then, you followers of my storied life who live in Melbourne are probably at least dimly aware now that Mana Bar Melbourne, the second of what will no doubt eventually be a McDonalds-like global chain of video game cocktail bars, is opening this Saturday. Tomorrow, in fact, the 16th of July. The bar opens at 12 noon and, as with the Brisbane bar, there'll be free entry and free games for as many people as we're allowed to squeeze in, which is limited, so you might want to start queueing now. The bar can be found at 336 Brunswick Street. Not the Brunswick Street in Brisbane where the Brisbane Mana Bar is, confusingly, the Brunswick Street in Melbourne, in Fitzroy.

I fly out there mere hours after writing this post so I'll be there on the Saturday with a big box of copies of Mogworld to sell and a big pen for signing them with. Regrettably I won't be there on Sunday, some of us actually have lives to lead, can't waste away all our time getting ratarsed and playing Marvel Vs. Capcom, so if you don't make it on the Saturday you'll have to wait for my next fleeting visit.

Blow & Smell

Time enough I think for a new podcast:

Show & Tell Podcast 2 by yahtzee19

This one was recorded a while back and I've been sitting on it for various reasons, hence dated references to E3 and LA Noire, but now it can finally wing its wicked way into your ear sockets. In this, the second podcast officially termed Show & Tell, Gabriel and I discuss the merits of sandbox gameplay, pulp literature and heavy drinking, while arguing over how the format's supposed to work.

I've also invested a little in the hosting provider in order to allow unlimited downloads, so feel free to go nuts. This project is now officially operating at a loss.

Also, trivia night on Monday (the 27th) at the Mana Bar as usual. Less gimmicks this time!

ZPs: Witcher 2, Hunted: The Demon's Forge, Duke Nukem Forever (the real one)
XPs: Adventure games, E3 and E3 again

Third The Dirty Donkey

Attention, regular attendees of Yahtzee's Trivia Night (and non-attendees looking for the excuse to give it a go). We're doing something a little bit weird for this Monday's (the 13th) quiz. As implied by the image below, we're putting a bit of effort into making a really good prize pack, and we're going to give it away to whoever comes third. First and second will still get prize packs, of course, they just won't be as, you know, good.


Why are we doing this? For larks, mainly. Partly it's because I've been keen to experiment with the format lately, partly because while first and second place have a couple of stubborn recurring placements, third place tends to be more of an X-factor. Last time, an all new team won it. Perhaps that will be you, this time?

Oh yes, and just to make this even more of an X-factor, I'm not going to reveal the scores of any teams until the end. You'll only know how well you're doing, and how well whatever the team next to you is doing. That should keep things interesting, shouldn't it.

So come along to the Mana Bar on Monday, June the 13th any time before 7, be you regular or shy experimenting quiz pupae, and bring a team. Or just one other person, but you'd both better be pretty confident with each other's know how. Perhaps a victory could be just what you need to win over your quiz partner into full on mouth kissing, if that's what you've been hanging around them for.

Also: new Show & Tell podcast coming very soon; yes, we remembered to record this one

Ha Ha Whoops

ZPs: Mortal Kombat, Brink, LA Noire
XPs: Sequels again, finisher porn and TF2

Boy, you would have loved the podcast Gabriel and I vocalised yesterday. I say 'vocalised' rather than 'recorded' because after an hour we noticed that we forgot to get the actual recording device in on the action. Shame. It was a good one. You'd have loved it.