Elise Hepner's Blog, page 30
November 4, 2010
Let's Play A Game
This game's called Elise is trying self publishing for the first time. I've got my lesbian erotica short story Thumbtacks coming out on Barnes and Nobles Pubit and avaliable on Kindle within the next day or two. I'll update with the exact day it goes up for sale. Once I work out the kinks of formatting I hope to get my work out to a few more sites as well. For now I've launched the beginning of Elise Hepner Writing and we'll see how it goes.
I know your all clamoring for more of my work, right? Well, a girl can hope can't she. Now, because of the magic of the internet, you guys get The Little Plaid Skirt Saga and Thumbtacks right at once. That's twice the Elise for less than half the wait time. Yay!
In the meantime, here's the blurb for Thumbtacks:
Tyler and Brie share a quirky fetish--office supplies. Unable to embrace their mutual needs and desires in a work environment, the women have been meeting in secret every week to troll the local office supply store for a little foreplay. But now it's no longer enough.
Driven by their boss's orders that they go pick out a new printer for the office, they are unable to fight their mutual desire for each other while surrounded by so much temptation. What follows is a torrid session in office politics that could get them fired--and laid.
I'll have more fun stuff to share in the next couple of days, like a super nifty snippet and the cover art done by yours truly. It's certainly going to be an adventure, huh?
I know your all clamoring for more of my work, right? Well, a girl can hope can't she. Now, because of the magic of the internet, you guys get The Little Plaid Skirt Saga and Thumbtacks right at once. That's twice the Elise for less than half the wait time. Yay!
In the meantime, here's the blurb for Thumbtacks:
Tyler and Brie share a quirky fetish--office supplies. Unable to embrace their mutual needs and desires in a work environment, the women have been meeting in secret every week to troll the local office supply store for a little foreplay. But now it's no longer enough.
Driven by their boss's orders that they go pick out a new printer for the office, they are unable to fight their mutual desire for each other while surrounded by so much temptation. What follows is a torrid session in office politics that could get them fired--and laid.
I'll have more fun stuff to share in the next couple of days, like a super nifty snippet and the cover art done by yours truly. It's certainly going to be an adventure, huh?
October 28, 2010
Little Plaid Skirt Saga Is Out Today!
Today, you can find my new release, Little Plaid Skirt Saga HERE for purchase and Kindle copies will be up soon! Watch out for a giveaway in the near future. I shall keep you posted my lovely readers. For now, here's the blurb and a excerpt from my new release.
BlurbNaomi gets her high from crowd surfing in her little plaid skirt. She's got voyeuristic tendencies and with a mosh pit full of people there are infinite sexual possibilities. She's only got to look to the person next to her for a slamming good time in the sack and out of it.
Alissa is a cougar with a sex addiction and a penchant for stealing her daughter's clothes. When she comes across a freebie catalogue full of her favorite kind of dress up, she just can't help herself. Out comes the credit cards and in she goes to the nearest single's bar. It's time to see what today's catch of the day is.
In this anthology all it takes is a little scrap of fabric to rule the world. When playing dress-up who doesn't want to take over the world?
Warnings: This title contain m/f/f sex, voyeurism, f/f sex, roleplaying, random sexual partners, female masturbation, road head, and bad parenting.
Word Count: 4,460
Excerpt:Her hands shimmied over the blue and purple patterned plaid skirt before she grabbed at one of the chicks hips who was rocking out to a raging beat. Naomi's hips swayed in time with the woman's who didn't seem to mind the intrusion. They danced in a slow, graceful grind in the midst of screams of anger mixed with joy. The woman's long brown hair slithered across Naomi's face briefly touching on a hint of mint and watermelon. She breathed in the scent deeply before it was gone as she snaked her hands around to cup her dancing partner's pussy in her leather pants.
One hand slicked back and forth over the supple leather encasing her intimate bits while the other weaved in back of her hair, hips still swaying, to untie her backless brown top. Naomi could hear the woman giggle underneath the cat calls as she kissed and nibbled on the curving line of her neck. She had no need to know if it was okay. A crowd surrounding them acted as the ultimate barrier towards elicit acts not normally perused in public.
October 26, 2010
Acceptance And A Dream Come True
There is no greater relief I've ever felt in my life than the acceptance to Rachel Kramer Bussel's Anthology, Gotta Have It: 69 Stories of Sudden Sex. My 600-something word short, Leaves, will be published in March along with a slew of other kick ass authors. Words can't describe the elation and pride that still course through me whenever I think about it. I can't imagine what it will be like to hold a copy in my hands. Or see me in a bookstore! I've been working towards this central goal of being published with Cleis Press for two years and now its all mine.
What to do next?
What to do next?
October 22, 2010
Yogurt Addiction
I have a serious yogurt addiction. Seriously. I will eat three a day minimum. It's good for some things....but not so good for my sugar intake. But the Yoplaits, how they call to me! So many flavors, so convenient, so filling. I could go on and on and on. I don't know why you need to know this, just a little peek into the life of me and my yogurt. I'm done now. Go back to your scheduled program.
October 16, 2010
The Forest for the Trees
Oh, the great power of suggestion. I've heard many good things about this book, The Forest for the Trees: An Editor's Advice to Writers. So, I picked it up on my Nook and will be reading it while I use my elliptical this afternoon. I'm always up for a good writing book.
My grandmother used to get them for me for Christmas and they were the best presents. She was always very supportive of my dreams. Because of her, I own and have read: Writing Down the Bones, Bird By Bird, and countless other books that I bought myself like On Writing by Stephan King. I've become a sink hole of writing knowledge and I adore soaking up every minute of it, even if it isn't focused on the hot and steamy side of things.
So I'll give this new one a try and let you know what I think about it. Time to read and work out! Wa-hoo!
My grandmother used to get them for me for Christmas and they were the best presents. She was always very supportive of my dreams. Because of her, I own and have read: Writing Down the Bones, Bird By Bird, and countless other books that I bought myself like On Writing by Stephan King. I've become a sink hole of writing knowledge and I adore soaking up every minute of it, even if it isn't focused on the hot and steamy side of things.
So I'll give this new one a try and let you know what I think about it. Time to read and work out! Wa-hoo!
October 4, 2010
A Rally to Support the Beta Male
I've been inspired by John Stewert's Rally to Restore Sanity, (which I'm attending) and I've decided to do my own internet rally of sorts---for the support and yummy objectification of the Beta Male. While the elusive beta has been dwindling in most erotic works in favor of the more roguish, smart ass Alpha, there's still many people out there who love a man who'll show his true feelings and then lick your boots afterward.
According to the UrbanDictionary.com the definition for Beta Male is:
" The betas are wingmen, collaborative and conciliatory. In human terms, betas make the best mates. They do more in the house, and probably in the bedroom, because they know how to hasten the greater good. The beta has poetry in him, and a touch of youthful idealism. He's sure of who he is, and not constantly trying to prove his value in materialistic terms. (Alpha: Your expensive car doesn't make you interesting.) The beta can earn a lot of money, or a little, but the money's not the thing; he profits because he works well with others.
There's something rebellious about the beta male; he challenges the social order rather than succumbing to it. The beta male doesn't buy in to the basest stereotypes about male behavior, and that's hugely sexy."
Some of my favorite Beta's include:
Jesse Eisenberg
(That voice just does it for me every time! The octave of his voice is so sexy!)
Seth Green
(We're talking the whole package here, yes please!)
David Moscow
(Am I the only one who has a Newsies fantasy with my newsboy here and Christian Bale? Yes? Well more for me!)
Neil Patrick Harris
(I know, he's def not available, but God, I would hit that! Have you heard him sing?)
Nicholas Cage
(It's no secret that I love a man with a high IQ--geeks are so sexy!)
In honor of those men, I'm giving away some of Charlotte Stein's best work! (Not all of it because she's got tons and tons and more mammoth tons of good writing, seriously, Google her--no, no, right now!) I'll be giving away: The Horizon, Past Pleasures, Waiting in Vain, TigerLilly, and Threefold Anthology.
In order to be entered for this drawing readers have to supply three reasons why they love a good Beta Male and supply their favorite Beta Male picture in the comments below.
So, tell your friends, tell your neighbors, and rant to that chick in the cubicle next to you that always plays her music too loudly---Beta's are here to stay!
According to the UrbanDictionary.com the definition for Beta Male is:
" The betas are wingmen, collaborative and conciliatory. In human terms, betas make the best mates. They do more in the house, and probably in the bedroom, because they know how to hasten the greater good. The beta has poetry in him, and a touch of youthful idealism. He's sure of who he is, and not constantly trying to prove his value in materialistic terms. (Alpha: Your expensive car doesn't make you interesting.) The beta can earn a lot of money, or a little, but the money's not the thing; he profits because he works well with others.
There's something rebellious about the beta male; he challenges the social order rather than succumbing to it. The beta male doesn't buy in to the basest stereotypes about male behavior, and that's hugely sexy."
Some of my favorite Beta's include:
Jesse Eisenberg
(That voice just does it for me every time! The octave of his voice is so sexy!) Seth Green
(We're talking the whole package here, yes please!) David Moscow
(Am I the only one who has a Newsies fantasy with my newsboy here and Christian Bale? Yes? Well more for me!)Neil Patrick Harris
(I know, he's def not available, but God, I would hit that! Have you heard him sing?)Nicholas Cage
(It's no secret that I love a man with a high IQ--geeks are so sexy!)In honor of those men, I'm giving away some of Charlotte Stein's best work! (Not all of it because she's got tons and tons and more mammoth tons of good writing, seriously, Google her--no, no, right now!) I'll be giving away: The Horizon, Past Pleasures, Waiting in Vain, TigerLilly, and Threefold Anthology.
In order to be entered for this drawing readers have to supply three reasons why they love a good Beta Male and supply their favorite Beta Male picture in the comments below.
So, tell your friends, tell your neighbors, and rant to that chick in the cubicle next to you that always plays her music too loudly---Beta's are here to stay!
October 1, 2010
No, really, I exist
Due to writing a ton of books this summer that haven't found a home yet, my blog has been a little lackluster and, well, non-existent. But I'm back with a full line up of thoughts and naughty feelings! I hereby promise that I won't leave for that long again, I know how much you missed me. If you didn't, well, pretend that you did!
While I was gone a lot has happened. I've worked on four books and several shorts that are in various stages of proofing. My dear husband and I had our first anniversary, and like the geeks we are, we celebrated with a week in Williamsberg, VA. We got a wonderful historical house with the whole top floor to ourselves and gallivanted around the settlement and Busch Gardens. I ate a lot of delicious food and DH drank a lot of delicious beer.
It was a quick summer.
Two newish anthologies with my work are available from Excessica:
This anthology has my story Red Smoke based on the Little Red Riding Hood story with a very BDSM slant. This anthology really has something for everyone and I really enjoyed reading my copy. Here's the blurb:
We all grew up hearing fairy tales – but these are fairy tales like you've never heard them before! Some of these stories have an ending, setting or twist you might not remember, or are modern versions of an old tale, but all of them are guaranteed to awaken the big bad wolf in you faster than you can say Rumpelstiltskin! Don't miss eXcessica's sexy anthology retelling erotic versions of classic fairy tales! Stories included by: Gabriel Daemon, Elise Hepner, Giselle Renarde, Tessa Buxton, Karenna Colcroft, Phineas Magnus, Bekki Lynn, Dakota Trace and Ava James.
Warnings: This title contains graphic language and sex, including f/f, m/m, and some bdsm elements.
It's available HERE at Excessica in all e-book formats and HERE on Amazon in print.
I can't help but fall in love with this cover! This anthology has mystical creatures, misunderstood beasts, and steamy stories. My short, Shifting Desire, is in this one, about a group of matriarchal fae whose lead historian just can't seem to get her wings. Here's the blurb:
Whether it's werewolves, vampires, shapeshifters, angels, ghosts or aliens—these are stories with all of those strange and wonderfully sexy creatures that fascinate the human psyche! Come on a spicy, paranormal journey that ventures into titillating realms bound only the imaginations of your favorite eXcessica authors! A dozen stories included in this volume by Wynter O'Reilly, Selena Kitt, D.B. Story, Sommer Marsden, J.M. Snyder, Dakota Trace, Piers Anthony, Roxanne Rhoads, Elise Hepner, Darcy Sweet, Christabel Rouseau and Erin O'Riordan.
Warnings: This title contains graphic language, sex, some anal and m/m sex play, sex with vampires, werewolves, shapeshifters, aliens, angels and other supernatural creatures.
Wonder is available in all formats HERE.
Stay tuned for more goodies, updates, and insight into me :) Thanks for coming along for the ride!
While I was gone a lot has happened. I've worked on four books and several shorts that are in various stages of proofing. My dear husband and I had our first anniversary, and like the geeks we are, we celebrated with a week in Williamsberg, VA. We got a wonderful historical house with the whole top floor to ourselves and gallivanted around the settlement and Busch Gardens. I ate a lot of delicious food and DH drank a lot of delicious beer.
It was a quick summer.
Two newish anthologies with my work are available from Excessica:
This anthology has my story Red Smoke based on the Little Red Riding Hood story with a very BDSM slant. This anthology really has something for everyone and I really enjoyed reading my copy. Here's the blurb:
We all grew up hearing fairy tales – but these are fairy tales like you've never heard them before! Some of these stories have an ending, setting or twist you might not remember, or are modern versions of an old tale, but all of them are guaranteed to awaken the big bad wolf in you faster than you can say Rumpelstiltskin! Don't miss eXcessica's sexy anthology retelling erotic versions of classic fairy tales! Stories included by: Gabriel Daemon, Elise Hepner, Giselle Renarde, Tessa Buxton, Karenna Colcroft, Phineas Magnus, Bekki Lynn, Dakota Trace and Ava James.
Warnings: This title contains graphic language and sex, including f/f, m/m, and some bdsm elements.
It's available HERE at Excessica in all e-book formats and HERE on Amazon in print.
I can't help but fall in love with this cover! This anthology has mystical creatures, misunderstood beasts, and steamy stories. My short, Shifting Desire, is in this one, about a group of matriarchal fae whose lead historian just can't seem to get her wings. Here's the blurb:Whether it's werewolves, vampires, shapeshifters, angels, ghosts or aliens—these are stories with all of those strange and wonderfully sexy creatures that fascinate the human psyche! Come on a spicy, paranormal journey that ventures into titillating realms bound only the imaginations of your favorite eXcessica authors! A dozen stories included in this volume by Wynter O'Reilly, Selena Kitt, D.B. Story, Sommer Marsden, J.M. Snyder, Dakota Trace, Piers Anthony, Roxanne Rhoads, Elise Hepner, Darcy Sweet, Christabel Rouseau and Erin O'Riordan.
Warnings: This title contains graphic language, sex, some anal and m/m sex play, sex with vampires, werewolves, shapeshifters, aliens, angels and other supernatural creatures.
Wonder is available in all formats HERE.
Stay tuned for more goodies, updates, and insight into me :) Thanks for coming along for the ride!
July 18, 2010
Tigerlily and a poem just for me!!!
If you've seen my other posts in other places, you'll know by now that I'm on some sort of unholy blog tour or summat like that. But if not, I'm Charlotte Stein. I mentored Elise for three months, and she was a doll. And now she's even more of a doll, cos she agreed to let me mess around all over her blog to promote my latest release.
So I've written a poem, in her honour:
Oh Elise.
How we both came to hate the words sentence variety!
I think it paralysed me as much
As it did you.
For about a hundred years.
But now we're both free
I hope
Like Princesses in a fairystory
Who've been kissed by
Totally hot Princes.
One who looks like Evan Lysacek
And the other-
Well, you pick. Christian Bale?
But I digress
I'm writing this poem really,
Because you're awesome
You never complain
And you work like a very hardworking thing
And you get better and better every day.
But most of all:
You're always there for me.
Which is cool.
And now that is done, here is some information about my excellent release Tigerlily , out from Total-E-Bound on July 19th. Yay!
Blurb:Oh what's a girl to do, when she finds a sexy, naked man in her back garden?
When a naked guy turns up in Mae's back garden, she can't decide if he's crazy or sent from heaven. He can't remember his name, or where he's from, but he seems to know one thing for certain- Mae is in need of some hot loving, and fast.
However, the more he persuades her to let go and give in, the more she finds herself believing that she's met him before. But childhood games with a boy who she's sure had wings on his back are giving way to her deepest sexual fantasies, and dreams of another world entirely are not far behind…
Excerpt:
"There was a guy, running a blue streak through the trees. Mae Connelly could see him, even amidst the febrile greenery and the lowering light, arms pumping. Legs pumping. Cock swinging in the breeze.
Which was when she decided to stand up, and get a better look.
Purely out of simple curiosity, of course. Nothing unseemly about stepping off your porch to gawk at a man who appeared to be running through the field behind your house, buck ass nekkid.
And it didn't sadden her—not even a little—when he ploughed into the long grass and everything below the waist got cut off. No—not even a little bit, uh-uh. After all, she was just a concerned citizen.
Concerned about someone who sure looked terrified. He looked more than terrified—she could see him, turning his head every five seconds as though expecting to see hellhounds behind him, chomping at his heels.
He kept almost stumbling, like fear wouldn't let him keep his footing.
And as he veered closer to her house, she could definitely make out red, striping his upper arms. The fact that said upper arms were sinewy with muscle and very nice indeed took a shameful backseat.
She shouted before her brain confirmed that doing so was a good idea.
"Hey!"
It was definitely not a good idea. He fell almost immediately, at the sound of her voice. She saw him turn, and then it was all just tits over ass and nothing but the long grass, stirring, to suggest that he had ever been there.
All the possible reasons that someone could be running, naked and terrified, went through her head: escape from a forced nudist colony. Being hunted by a Terminator from the future. Sex game that went horribly, horribly wrong. Or right, depending on your kink.
But none of them seemed either a) plausible or b) sane. As far as she knew, forced nudist colonies didn't even exist. And likely Terminators and time travel machines didn't, either. Especially not ones that sent you through time with your ass hanging out."
http://www.total-e-bound.com/product.asp?strParents=&CAT_ID=&P_ID=845
You're the best, Elise!
So I've written a poem, in her honour:
Oh Elise.
How we both came to hate the words sentence variety!
I think it paralysed me as much
As it did you.
For about a hundred years.
But now we're both free
I hope
Like Princesses in a fairystory
Who've been kissed by
Totally hot Princes.
One who looks like Evan Lysacek
And the other-
Well, you pick. Christian Bale?
But I digress
I'm writing this poem really,
Because you're awesome
You never complain
And you work like a very hardworking thing
And you get better and better every day.
But most of all:
You're always there for me.
Which is cool.
And now that is done, here is some information about my excellent release Tigerlily , out from Total-E-Bound on July 19th. Yay!
Blurb:Oh what's a girl to do, when she finds a sexy, naked man in her back garden?
When a naked guy turns up in Mae's back garden, she can't decide if he's crazy or sent from heaven. He can't remember his name, or where he's from, but he seems to know one thing for certain- Mae is in need of some hot loving, and fast.
However, the more he persuades her to let go and give in, the more she finds herself believing that she's met him before. But childhood games with a boy who she's sure had wings on his back are giving way to her deepest sexual fantasies, and dreams of another world entirely are not far behind…
Excerpt:
"There was a guy, running a blue streak through the trees. Mae Connelly could see him, even amidst the febrile greenery and the lowering light, arms pumping. Legs pumping. Cock swinging in the breeze.
Which was when she decided to stand up, and get a better look.
Purely out of simple curiosity, of course. Nothing unseemly about stepping off your porch to gawk at a man who appeared to be running through the field behind your house, buck ass nekkid.
And it didn't sadden her—not even a little—when he ploughed into the long grass and everything below the waist got cut off. No—not even a little bit, uh-uh. After all, she was just a concerned citizen.
Concerned about someone who sure looked terrified. He looked more than terrified—she could see him, turning his head every five seconds as though expecting to see hellhounds behind him, chomping at his heels.
He kept almost stumbling, like fear wouldn't let him keep his footing.
And as he veered closer to her house, she could definitely make out red, striping his upper arms. The fact that said upper arms were sinewy with muscle and very nice indeed took a shameful backseat.
She shouted before her brain confirmed that doing so was a good idea.
"Hey!"
It was definitely not a good idea. He fell almost immediately, at the sound of her voice. She saw him turn, and then it was all just tits over ass and nothing but the long grass, stirring, to suggest that he had ever been there.
All the possible reasons that someone could be running, naked and terrified, went through her head: escape from a forced nudist colony. Being hunted by a Terminator from the future. Sex game that went horribly, horribly wrong. Or right, depending on your kink.
But none of them seemed either a) plausible or b) sane. As far as she knew, forced nudist colonies didn't even exist. And likely Terminators and time travel machines didn't, either. Especially not ones that sent you through time with your ass hanging out."
http://www.total-e-bound.com/product.asp?strParents=&CAT_ID=&P_ID=845
You're the best, Elise!
June 30, 2010
What To Do With Self Doubt
1. Burn it
2. Freeze it in a piece of ice and send it to Alaska and hopes that a creature eats it.
3. Drink it away!
4.Blast it out with angry music and a moshpit
5. Don't give into it---no matter how tempting.
2. Freeze it in a piece of ice and send it to Alaska and hopes that a creature eats it.
3. Drink it away!
4.Blast it out with angry music and a moshpit
5. Don't give into it---no matter how tempting.
June 24, 2010
Giddy Dancing has Commenced!
My new short-short, Keeper, has reached #52 on Amazon.com's Bestseller List under Lesbian Erotica! Color me excited! Thanks everyone for picking up a copy and for reading it! I'm gonna go dance around my new house and try not to trample over my cat! Combine that with Keeper's amazing review from Seriously Reviewed and this week has just been stellar for me! Here I am:
