Leah R. Cutter's Blog, page 18

Giving Up

No, I’m not giving up being a professional writer. Or writing full time. I am having far too much fun, and I haven’t run all the way through my savings yet. (I have two years of income saved…If I’m careful.)

When I started this venture, I created a project plan for how long it would take me to write every novel, as well as how long it would take to go through the make-it-not-broke draft, and to incorporate first reader comments.

In this first marvelous plan, I just specified Novel A, Novel B, etc.

At some point, I came up with the list of novels that I was going to write. One after another. For two and a half years.

And it all looked great…on paper.

Then the plan met reality.

I tried, I really tried, to generate excitement for the novel I was supposed to write.

And if you look at that sentence, you’ll see the issue.

“Supposed to write” is never going to work for me.

I need to say, “get to write.”

I can’t write according to a scheduled list of books that I think I should write. In the order I think I should write them. Instead, I must write the books that I feel passionate about. That I am looking forward to writing.

Giggling is required.

As my sweetie pointed out to me, if I’m not manically giggling about what I’m writing, the writing will turn into a chore. Work. And not fun.

This means I won’t necessarily know what book it is that I’m going to write until I’m just about to start writing it.

So I’ve given up writing War Among the Crocodiles at this point. I will write the novel eventually. I have kind of a plot and characters and so on.

It just isn’t the novel that makes me giggle currently.

Currently, I get to write this story that I thought of over the weekend. That I plotted out and have already started writing (and OMG do I love writing it!) It’s called, The Changeling Troll — a different kind of ugly-duckling story.

And I get to giggle.

Crossposted from my website. If you'd like to comment, you can do so here or there.

Happy House-iversery!

Three years ago today, I took possession of my beautiful house.

I’ve never regretted it. I love this place. I continue to feel supported in this wonderful environment. I feel as though I can be more creative because I have such a great place in which I can be creative.

I’m merely the steward of this place. It was built in 1910. It will (hopefully) continue on after I sell it.

So this is to you house. I’m so happy you came into my life, that I can possibly make you a little bit better for the next people as well.

The view of my backyard from the kitchen window:

Crossposted from my website. If you'd like to comment, you can do so here or there.

Gracie and the Whirligig now available!

Gracie and the Whirligig

is now available!

Everyone up in the hills thinks Mama’s touched.

And maybe she is. Or maybe she isn’t.

But when a fire burns our still to the ground, I got no one to rely on but her.

And that damned flying machine, that whirligig, that she probably stole.

This is the origin story for Gracie, however, it isn’t the first story about her that I wrote. That story will be available come July 1st.

In the meanwhile, get to know Gracie and her mama and how she came down outta the hills to learn automatronics.

Available for $2.99 as an ebook.

Crossposted from my website. If you'd like to comment, you can do so here or there.

Passion

Next week, I start writing the next novel. (Yes, this is a full time job.) It’s War Among the Crocodiles, the conclusion of The Shadow Wars trilogy, that started with The Raven and the Dancing Tiger and continued in The Guardian Hound.

This weekend, I’ll start looking at my notes for the series. Next week, I’ll spend some time re-reading those novels, as well as doing research. Like the other books, this novel has a historic base, and I need to get some of the facts into my head. I have a general idea of the history of the times I’ll be writing in–but there are some specifics I need to pick up as well.

However, as important as all of that is to the process, what’s more important is that I’ll be building excitement for the project again.

As a writer, I need to be passionately involved with whatever I’m writing. From this post about writing quickly you’ll note that one third of that triangle involves passion, excitement. For me, that’s vital. I must be passionate about what I’m writing. I must love it, think that it’s the coolest thing evah, fiercely want to share my vision with the world.

Otherwise, what’s the point?

When I find myself losing passion, I always stop and look at why. Is it because I’m writing the wrong thing? (This happens the most frequently.) Is it because I need to go do more research? (Occasionally this is the case.) Or am I actually tired/sick/burned out? (This happens as well, though in recent years, because I’ve gotten so much better, it’s rare as opposed to often.)

I’ve given myself more time to write this novel, which honestly, going into the project, is a relief. I will still drive myself to succeed, to complete this novel quickly, because that’s just me. But that I have some breathing room to think things through, to do research, to plot and plan…it feels like heaven.

I know I could probably write this novel more quickly than I’m planning. However, taking some extra time doesn’t make me lazy. Instead, it insures that I’ll also be able to write the next novel. And the next. And the next. And that I’ll be able to keep that passionate involvement with each and every work.

Because in the end, that’s still the most vital thing, that get my butt into the chair, fingers on the keyboard.

Passion.

Crossposted from my website. If you'd like to comment, you can do so here or there.

Righteous anger

The last couple of weeks I’ve been going through both copy edits as well as first reader comments.

Most of the comments are fabulous. I find myself nodding in agreement, or going, “Why didn’t I think of that?” Or just accepting and moving on.

However, every once in a while, I run across something that just makes my blood boil. It might just be a word change, or a simple piece of punctuation. (Something bigger and I tend to not get angry so much.)

Those who know me, know I’m pretty easy going. I’m not necessarily quick to anger. The reaction I have is out of proportion to the change that’s being requested. I’m aware of this. I still react this way.

Fortunately, one of my mentors finally explained this reaction to me.

If I react with anger, it’s because the change is messing with my Voice.

Things sound a particular way in my head, how a character says something. If a change messes with the way that sounds, I shouldn’t accept that change. However, if something in the draft has confused a first reader, I should redraft it so it’s more clear, using my words, my Voice.

It’s funny, but fonts also sometimes make me react this way. I’ve flowed a book into a POD format, changed the font, and got pissed off. The font was Not Right. It had, somehow changed the Voice of the piece.

I once heard someone describe font as the clothes your words wear. The basic structure is still there, the bones, but the font dresses them up. Or down.

So–pay attention when you get angry at a comment. Possibly you’re being unreasonable. I try always to be a reasonable person. Rational.

But sometimes, that anger is a clue.

Crossposted from my website. If you'd like to comment, you can do so here or there.

Make it not broke

I’m in the middle of my second draft for Poisoned Pearls. It’s been going well. As expected, I’ve added a bunch of words, even in the sections where I wasn’t adding new scenes (of which I’ve already added two.)

I like this novel a whole lot more now that I can step back and look at it. I always try to practice new things with every novel, and with this one, I was working on Voice with Setting. It’s one of the reasons why it turned out to be Urban Fantasy, because the city of Minneapolis is a character. As is the winter weather.

I will finish the “make it not broke draft” this weekend and send it off to my first readers. I’ve spent a lot more time reading this one out loud as part of the make it not broke process, because my ear always catches things my eye misses. Plus, it’s a much better check for me for Voice.

This past weekend, I had a mini-meltdown. (I’m not prone to meltdowns, mini or otherwise.) I took a realistic look at my schedule, and finally forced myself to admit that I can’t keep up the writing pace I have been. I’ve been trying, really hard, but I just can’t. I know other writers can. I don’t have the muscles or know-how or what have you.

So I had to change my entire writing schedule, what I had planned to write, for this year and next year, to take into account the slower pace. As well as change my publishing schedule. I have some holes in it now, that I hope I’ll be able to fill later.

I think I’ll be happier at the slower pace. I’m certainly more sane, and have done things this week like cleaned the house, laundry and dishes–those things that have been piling up.

I still wish I could write more, write faster, write better. And maybe someday, I will be able to. But for now, I’m giving myself a little more time to think and to breathe.

Crossposted from my website. If you'd like to comment, you can do so here or there.

Lazy

One of the things that I continue to work on for myself is my perception of myself as essentially a lazy being.

On the one hand, I know I’m lazy. I spend an awful lot of time goofing off, reading blogs, playing games, etc.

On the other hand, I’m also aware that I’m not actually that lazy. I get a tremendous number of things done. Other people certainly don’t see me as lazy.

My most recent novel, Poisoned Pearls, that I finished writing today (woo hoo!) is a prime example of this.

I wrote one of the first scenes for this novel back in 1987. I didn’t realize it was a scene in a novel, just a cool scene that I didn’t know how to expand.

I envisioned the novel, with that scene in it, as a novel, back in 1998, I think. I called it my crack novel, because I was pretty certain that at that time I’d never be able to sell it to New York. It was just too odd, had too much sex, and crossed too many genre borders for it to be commercial.

I originally saw this novel as science fiction–or rather, some weird amalgamation of science fiction, alternate future, fantasy, and mystery. (Yeah, it’s kind of all over the place.)

When I went back and looked at my notes earlier this year, I saw that it was absolutely science fiction. No doubt about that.

However. When I started writing the novel, it came out as pure urban fantasy, with a slice of mystery. Only one character remained science fictiony.

After I’d written a few chapters, I slowed down. Stopped writing. Called myself all kinds of names.

Finally realized that no, it wasn’t me. It was the novel as I was writing it. The one character, who is vital to the plot, didn’t fit the current incarnation of the novel.

I was faced with a choice. I could either go back and rewrite everything else to be science fictiony, or I could change that one character, completely re-visioning him (re-vision, to see again.) It meant ripping out huge chunks of the novel that I’d already written and starting from scratch.

Once I did that, boy, did the words flow again. The novel became a joy to write.

Until suddenly, it didn’t. I slowed. I stopped. Called myself lazy.

Eventually, I saw the pattern. It wasn’t me. I’m capable of putting my butt in a chair and my fingers on the keyboard and cranking out words. Good words even.

I’d run into another section where the original plot of the novel no longer fit what I was writing.

When it happened a third time, I was much more ready for it. Didn’t flail as much. Didn’t call myself so many names, either. Pulled out stuff I’d written and tweaked and took yet another run at the novel again.

I know all of this comes under the heading, “Trust the process.”

If I’m slowing down, it isn’t because I’m lazy. Or that I hate writing. Or that I’m a total failure as a human being.

It’s because something is wrong in whatever it is that I’m writing.

I need to take a deep breath. Step back. Trust the process.

Trust myself.

Figure out what’s wrong, remove the obstacle, then move forward again.

It’s just that simple. And that hard.

Crossposted from my website. If you'd like to comment, you can do so here or there.

Burning Flowers now available!

Burning Flowers

Collection now available!

See China through a wide range of characters, like a little girl in the Tang Dynasty determined to honor her sister, or an old woman in the Qing Dynasty who believes she has the best daughter, or even a boy on a Chinese colony in space.

These unexpected stories carry you far away, then back again, leaving you wanting more.

Fox and Hound originally appeared in Fiction River: Hex and the City.

Sisters originally appeared in Fiction River: Unnatural Worlds.

Stories include:

Fox and Hound

Old Friends

The Dutiful Daughter

Dragon’s Son

The Tortoise and the Maiden

Sisters

Available for $5.99 as an ebook, $9.95 as a trade paperback from Createspace.

Crossposted from my website. If you'd like to comment, you can do so here or there.

Cascadia Poetry Festival Time!

This weekend, May 1 – 4, is the Cascadia Poetry Festival!

My publisher, Knotted Road Press is one of the sponsors of this festival.

Hope to see you there!

Crossposted from my website. If you'd like to comment, you can do so here or there.

Appearance tonight redux!

If you’re in the Portland area and want to come see me read from my new book When The Moon Over Kualina Mountain Comes come to the SFWA Northwest Reading Series.

It’ll be starting at 7 PM on Wednesday May 30 at Kennedy School, Portland, OR.

Hope to see you there!

Crossposted from my website. If you'd like to comment, you can do so here or there.