Judy H. Wright's Blog, page 10

3 Easy Steps To Really Enjoy Children (EXPERT)

Imagine a scene where you are laughing and having fun with the children in your life?  Can you picture the joy you will feel when there is no stress or  disharmony?  Is it possible to have that quality time with your family and children in your circle of influence?  You will think more positively after you have read these three easy steps to really enjoy children.

As every working adult (and that is all of us, even if we don’t get a paycheck or have kids) knows, we have busy lives.  Time is moving faster and faster and we are all bombarded and overwhelmed with too many tasks and not much time for fun.  But, we must make time for the most important work we will ever do and that is to encourage the mind and heart of a child.

Kids Need Adults To Be With Them

 Those of you who have read my earlier books and articles know how strongly I feel about adult role models for kids.  Aunties and Uncles, Teachers and Coaches, Youth Leaders and extended families are so important to raising resilient, confident kids into adults.

Parents spend an average of seventeen hours a week in the company of their kids, but less than two hours a week devoted to interacting with them.  Interacting means face to face or shoulder to shoulder time talking, playing or helping with homework.  It does not mean texting or phone calls, which is connecting but not building real relationships.

3 Ways to Build Relationship with Children

 Include them in your daily routine.  Most of the time when we are with children we are doing other things; cooking, cleaning, repairing things.  It makes sense to not “shoo” them away, but include them in the tasks at hand.  Sure it may take twice as long and not look nearly as good as if you had done it yourself, but it is time together.  You may be surprised at the talents your kids show when they turn off the video game and paint the garage with you.

 

Learn to share feelings without judgment.  As I work with families, I am amazed and saddened at the number of adults who do not know how their emotions affect others.  Many adults do not even know what they are feeling.  Allowing your children to have a right to all kinds of emotions; happy and sad, angry and nice, anxious and confident, afraid and safe is key to helping them manage their inner selves.  This may especially hard for dads who have been trained to tune out vulnerable feelings.  However, it is important tell them (and mean it) that you are safe to share feelings with and they will not be punished or disciplined for what they think.  This is such a great way to help correct situations and interpretations they may have been worried about.

 

See the world through their eyes.   By adopting a child’s eye view, we can regain the wonder and enjoyment of just being.  A walk with my grandson Ridge is a study in insects and plant life I never even knew existed.  His eyes spot nature as God must have intended us to see it.  Every little leaf and stick is a wonder and a treat to be examined and talked about.

 Adults Can and Must Learn From Children

Because the world is moving faster, we feel an obligation to teach the children all the time.  In reality, the children who are being born now are so much more intelligent and all knowing, they will teach us.

Many of them are called “Indigo Kids”  and because they have been exposed to technology in the womb, understand a global world economy.  They are ready to accept, adopt and live a more inclusive live that has no room for bigoted hatred or unkindness.  If you want to learn more about this, please check out http://www.ArtichokePress.com  and read Raising Smart & Kind Kids.

By spending time and effort to get to know and enjoy the children in our circle of influence, we will be rewarded a thousand fold. The memories and association of time spent together will enhance the lives of kids, adults and the world. By modeling and sharing your kindness and respect for others, you will learn to really enjoy children and all they have to teach you.

Self Awareness Quiz

 Do you take time every day to smile and try to make a child feel important and noticed?

Do you act impatient or bothered a child is trying to talk to you?
Do you recognize the many messages children are willing and eager to teach adults?

 

You are invited to claim a free eBook on Using Encouraging Words at http://www.ArtichokePress.com  You will be so glad you did. Judy Helm Wright is an author, speaker and women’s empowerment coach and can be reached at 406-549-9813

Life Is Precious-Sometimes Bad Things Happen To Good People (EXPERT)

Life Is Precious-Sometimes Bad Things Happen To Good People

Life is a miracle and with each passing day we experience unique and special things that show us just how precious it is. The catalyst for life is love.  Love is is a gift that keeps on giving and it is important to understand that manifesting and acting in love is a choice.   Just as opting for evil is an intention and choice.

As kind and loving adults, we teach and model how to treat other people. Let’s all choose love and respect. For more information on raising kind and smart kids, see www.artichokepress.com

 Choose Love

There are more good people in the world and they are full of love and reflected in everything they do. On the other hand, there are also bad people in the world filled with hatred. If our world was full of evil people, there would be far more tragedies similar to the one that took place at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut.

With the recent shooting perpetrated on students, teachers and administrators at Sandy Hook Elementary School; we are all reminded that evil exists in the world. Sadly America and the world lost some great students and educators as a result of the senseless acts of violence.

Reflect on Life and Love

The fact of the matter is bad things occasionally happen to good people. Just as living is one of the greatest gifts we have, death is also part of life. Parents of students attending school in K-12 and or college should use this period in our nation’s history to share the importance of living a life filled with love and with the understanding that death is inevitable.

Grief and sadness are our spirit’s way of coping with that which is beyond reason.  The human mind questions why, but the spirit recognizes that bad things happen to good people and there is a message in the midst of heartbreak.

Definition of Evil

My own definition of evil acts is “preying on the innocence of others.”  Yes, there are many evil people in the world.  They have no concept of compassion or empathy. They choose their selfish gratification over the rights of innocent people. There are also  those who commit evil acts because they lack the ability and judgment to recognize right from wrong. As a consequence, bad things do happen to good people.

America is outraged about the tragedy that took place in Newton, Connecticut. We should be grieving over the loss of the students, teachers and principal.

it’s important for our spirit and being, thus as a nation we should take as much time as needed to grieve, reflect and move forward with  a plan. We should also use this terrible instance to spark conversations and learn from the tragedy.

Sadly, Sandy Hook Elementary provides a period for all students and people to count the cost of being thy brothers and sisters keepers. Some people with mental illnesses need to be treated and we must ensure they don’t have access to weapons of any kind.

Those with mental illness are also our children and  we need a safety net for them before they commit evil acts.

Aware but Not Afraid

We as a nation have some choices to make when it comes to how we address the killing of incident young children attending public school or college. In the case of Sandy Hook Elementary School and others before and after, we must lead with faith for it guides us over fear. Now is not the time for us to be fearful, rather it’s time for us to address the issue of violence of any form in our schools and provide a platform of faith and hope for the future of our nation. As a species of people who want to believe that most people are kind, thoughtful and respectful of all, we must speak and act out of love, not fear.

We must protect our children in all schools from the tyranny of people who attempt to take the life of students. Be reassured, good people will prevail over bad people and we will see positive changes incorporated in our schools throughout communities in America and beyond, our future depends on it.

Be Proactive

If you are a kind, thoughtful person who wants respect for all, please consider joining our community at http://www.ArtichokePress.com  This is a global community of people who choose love over evil and work towards peace and prosperity for all.

Discipline But Never Punish (EXPERT)

Suppose your child has left Legos all over the living room again!  Can you picture the scene? Can you feel yourself become frustrated immediately?  Are your shoulders  instantly stiffening just thinking about the scene and the consequences?  And this was just pretend.  What happens when you are right in the midst of inappropriate behavior?

Ponder What Discipline Really Means

Discipline comes from the root word Disciple and means, “training to act in accordance with rules, instruction or learning, a regimen that develops or improves skills.”  This puts parents, teachers, coaches and other adults who are in a position of authority in the position of a leader and teacher who wants to train and encourage.

Discipline is accomplished when a child is shown how to behave in a more acceptable way.

When a child hears “you did this… You did not do what you were told” he automatically feels defensive, angry and resentful. It sounds like an accusation instead of a request. For more ways to use words in a positive way go to http://www.askauntieartichoke.com and claim an ebook called Use Encouraging Words.

It does not have to be physical.

To punish someone is to treat them harshly and to inflict a penalty for some offense or fault, and it becomes child abuse when the adult is deliberately injuring a child in physical, verbal or sexual ways.  One never learns from punishment, except to punish others.  A friend’s 4-year-old child once said after receiving a spanking for an infraction, “I can’t wait till I’m big enough to hit someone.”  Needless to say, that was the last time they used corporal punishment.

Parental Discipline Is A Learning Process

Parental discipline is a learning process, which helps us to both correct and prevent problems.  When we use reward and punishment to teach self-control we set up power struggles and situations that encourages rebellion, resistance and arguments.  That style creates an outward directed action, whereas if we want to develop inner self-control and confidence, we must include them in the teaching process.

When we give our children choices within appropriate limits and help them be aware of natural and logical consequences of those choices, we help them gain some control over various areas of their lives.

Use I Statements

Whenever we start a dialog with a child with the word “you” defenses go up and they anticipate being scolded or told to do something they probably won’t want to do.

For example:

You stop that this minute
You didn’t do that right
You are acting like a baby
You know better than to kick me

 

However, when parents begin the sentence with an “I,” there is no accusation or blame attached and it doesn’t feel like it is directed at them directly.

“I” statements are actually just statements of how you feel and no one can argue with your feelings.  When a child’s behavior is unacceptable to a parent because in some way it is interfering with our enjoyment or our rights, we own the problem. By using” I’ messages, we are sharing our perceptions, not making judgments about the child.

For example:

I don’t like to step over toys on the floor.  It makes me feel like I could slip and fall on them. Please keep them in one place or we will have to put them away for the rest of the day.
I am concerned because…
This is the way I see it…
I worry when…

The best “I” message of all is “I love you.”

I know you are a kind and loving parent or you would not have been drawn to this topic.  I realize how difficult parenting can be at times. Been there, done that.  My aim is to empower you with tips, techniques and easy to use methods that will strengthen your family unit.

If you are curious about finding new solutions, please join our community of kind, thoughtful people who want respect for all at http://www.ArtichokePress.com   You will be glad you did.

Solutions For Shy & Withdrawn Children (EXPERT)

Picture your child on the playground.  Is she involved with the other children, participating in the games and activities?  If not, do you wonder how you could help her to develop confidence and courage to overcome shyness?

Discover Unique Ways To Build Confidence

By helping the child succeed at something every day you will increase their confidence and competence.  Start and end the day on a positive note.  Find something that your child excels at; maybe a rock collection, playing guitar, studying dinosaurs, etc. and really encourage that success.

See them as capable human beings.  The message we all want to hear from important and influential people in our lives is that we are capable, competent and confident people.  Telling a baby he is clever for rolling over, or a 7-year-old for zipping his jacket when it is cold outside, are messages that say “You are capable, you are smart and you are capable of making friends.”

Catch them being competent.  Every one likes to be around competent people, especially those who are willing to teach and share with others.  When you witness your child succeed at a task, yet allow others to participate and take part in the victory, be sure to acknowledge the leadership attributes.

While it is important to praise the specific mechanical or technical skill, it is also important to praise the “soft skills” of interpersonal relationships he or she is developing. Express your confidence in their ability to gain courage to try something new or to smile at four new people each day.

Roadblocks to Friendship

In the book Cliques by Giannetti and Sagarese, they called the three roadblocks to friendship: fear, sadness and shyness.  They found among the greatest fears of adolescents were social anxiety and that no one would like them.  As a protective measure, some children will keep to themselves and not give others a chance to not like or accept them.

Improve Social Skills

The shy child may be nervous about approaching the group or even one individual, and so stands with arms drawn in and not making eye contact.  What the body language message says to others is not shy, but rather snooty, stuck up and standoffish.  Your child will instantly become more approachable just by looking up and keeping hands down or even in their pockets.

Some people are naturally shy, but the skills of courtesy, respect and friendliness are skills that can be learned.  These life skills will assist them not only in personal relationships but also in the world of work.

Parents of the shy and anxious child tend to be overprotective and want to shield them for hurt and rejection.  However, over protectiveness focuses the child’s attention on the power of the parent and not on their own powers.

Awaken Their Courage

You can tell your child there are ways to be more outgoing and assertive, but it will take some work.  Remind them that it will make their life more interesting, fun and enjoyable and it will be worth the effort to try to develop life skills in social areas. It will be easy to focus on smiling at others one day, then saying hi on another day, and finally getting a positive result by asking to set by someone new at lunch.

You are not asking her to change her basic personality; rather you are encouraging her to take small steps, like smiling at a new child, ordering her own food, or asking to be part of a new game.

Build Self Confidence in Your Children & Yourself

If you want to change that initial picture of your child standing lonely on the playground, you will want to own the books available at http://www.ArtichokePress.com  These parenting and self-growth books, reports and audios to awaken your heart to solutions for yourself and your family.

 

Need More Cash? Ideas To Earn Extra $200 This Weekend

How To Earn an Extra $200 Dollars This Weekend

Sometimes you are strapped for cash or just want some extra spending money and you need it fast! So how does one make money over the weekend? Easy! By stepping out and looking for work, here are a few ways you can earn some cash this weekend:

Sitting jobs: There are multiple sitting jobs you can do for extra cash this weekend and good money at that. Babysitting, house sitting and dog sitting are good paying jobs that typically are needed over the weekend. Talk to neighbors, family and friends and see if they need someone to help them this weekend.

Work a market: Check with your local listings in your city for any farmer, art and music festivals and markets. Many vendors need help selling their things and will pay you for your help. Not only does it put some extra cash in your pocket it’s fun!

Host a garage sale: I’m sure that you have a closet and garage full of things you don’t need or haven’t even seen in years. Host a garage sale Saturday morning and post signs around the neighborhood. It’s impromptu and doesn’t require much planning.

Sell plasma: Selling plasma takes about an hour after your first time and it pays minimal but you can earn up to 450 dollar a month by going in once or twice a week. Sell plasma in addition to these are things to cover that remainder amount you need.

Sell something on Craigslist: Selling things online takes time if you use sites like EBay but a great thing about Craigslist is that people using this site are typically looking to buy immediately. Post pictures and prices of some things you want to sell and just wait for the response.

Some of these suggestions will not pay you the $200 you want but if you pair these things together you can easily earn $200 bucks if not more! Sell some things, work a market or become a sitter for the weekend. Have fun and good luck earning that extra money!

Author Bio: Paul and his wife Julie both spend quite a bit of time coming up with ideas, blogging, and researching all things related to childcare. They take care of all the necessary information related to “babysittingjobs.com/”. He personally thinks his blog will help with finding information on all things related to a babysitter.

 

There are ways to earn extra money this weekend. Brainstorm what talents, skills or muscle power you could put into play to earn extra money. Check out http://www.Artichokepress.com for great ideas.