Liz DeJesus's Blog, page 9
February 14, 2014
Fairy Tale Friday ~ Valentine's Day Edition!
Happy Valentine's Day everyone!!! I hope your day is filled with love and joy. Even if you are single you should still do something nice for yourself. I remember one time I was single around Valentine's Day and I decided that I loved myself enough that I could get myself some nice things. So I bought myself a bouquet of roses, a box of chocolates and ordered a pizza (can't remember if I ate it all by myself or if I shared it with my roommates). Anyway the point is, have fun!!
This is a throwback to a Fairy Tale Friday that I already posted but I think this story is perfect for today. So I'm re-introducing The True Bride. Enjoy!
This week's edition of Fairy Tale Friday will be about the story The True Bride. Now I'm sure I read this a long time ago when I was younger but I didn't remember it until I watched Jim Henson's Storyteller with Jon Hurt. I loved this short lived TV show, I never watched it while it was on TV but I did buy the DVD's when they came out and I watched it over and over again. I love it as much as I love Shelley Duvall's Faerie Tale Theater. :)
Anyway in the story of The True Bride it's about this young girl that is abused by her stepmother (in the show she's a troll) and makes her do these impossible tasks with the threat of beating her if she doesn't accomplish set task. The girl cries until suddenly an old woman appears and asks her what her problem is. The girl tells her about the impossible task and the old woman tells her to lay down, that she will take care of everything. And this happens several times until the stepmother falls down the cellar and dies. Then the girl is finally free of her wicked stepmother and lives in a castle (that the old woman built overnight) happily until she meets a young man.
I'm just going to post the rest here because it gets more complicated and I don't think I'll be able to tell it right. :) There are different versions of this story. In some the girl's stepmother is a troll. The old woman is a white lion. But all in all the general plot of the fairy tale remains the same. Oh and The Old Woman has a cameo in First Frost! :D
This is what I got from wikipedia:
A beautiful young girl was made to work hard by her wicked stepmother. One day, the stepmother set her to pick twelve pounds of feathers before night and promised a beating if she failed. The girl cried. An old woman asked about her troubles; she told them, and the old woman promised all would be well and told her to lie down. The girl slept, and the old woman picked the feathers.
The next day, the stepmother set her to empty a pond with a spoon. The old woman had her sleep in a thicket and touched the pool with the spoon, which turned the pool to vapor.
The third day, the stepmother ordered her to build a castle in a rocky valley. The old woman had her sleep in the shade and moved the rocks to form a castle. The stepmother inspected every inch of it, promising a beating if it were not all as it should be; she went to check that the cellar was filled, and the cellar door fell on her, killing her.
The girl lived in the castle alone. It was filled with riches, and stories of her beauty and wealth spread. Many wooers came to her. At last, a king's son won her heart. He went to get his father's consent. She kissed him, told him not to let anyone else kiss him on that cheek, and sat under a lime tree to await him. On the fourth day without his return, she packed up three dresses, embroidered with suns, moons, and stars, and set out to seek him. She was unable to find him, whoever she asked, and finally took a job as a cowherd and buried her jewels and dresses under a rock. She made a pet of a little calf and sang to it of her being abandoned.
After a few years, she heard that the king's daughter was to marry, and saw that the bridegroom was her prince. She sang to her calf as the prince rode by, and he looked at her, but he did not remember her. When three days' festivities were held to celebrate the marriage, she dressed herself in her gown with suns and went to the first ball. She so enchanted the prince that he forgot his new bride. The second night, she wore the gown with moons and enchanted him again; she had to promise to come the third night to get away. The third night, she wore the gown with stars, and when she kissed him, he remembered her. They went back to her castle and married there.
Love by ales-kotnik on deviantART
This is a throwback to a Fairy Tale Friday that I already posted but I think this story is perfect for today. So I'm re-introducing The True Bride. Enjoy!
This week's edition of Fairy Tale Friday will be about the story The True Bride. Now I'm sure I read this a long time ago when I was younger but I didn't remember it until I watched Jim Henson's Storyteller with Jon Hurt. I loved this short lived TV show, I never watched it while it was on TV but I did buy the DVD's when they came out and I watched it over and over again. I love it as much as I love Shelley Duvall's Faerie Tale Theater. :)
Anyway in the story of The True Bride it's about this young girl that is abused by her stepmother (in the show she's a troll) and makes her do these impossible tasks with the threat of beating her if she doesn't accomplish set task. The girl cries until suddenly an old woman appears and asks her what her problem is. The girl tells her about the impossible task and the old woman tells her to lay down, that she will take care of everything. And this happens several times until the stepmother falls down the cellar and dies. Then the girl is finally free of her wicked stepmother and lives in a castle (that the old woman built overnight) happily until she meets a young man.
I'm just going to post the rest here because it gets more complicated and I don't think I'll be able to tell it right. :) There are different versions of this story. In some the girl's stepmother is a troll. The old woman is a white lion. But all in all the general plot of the fairy tale remains the same. Oh and The Old Woman has a cameo in First Frost! :D
This is what I got from wikipedia:
A beautiful young girl was made to work hard by her wicked stepmother. One day, the stepmother set her to pick twelve pounds of feathers before night and promised a beating if she failed. The girl cried. An old woman asked about her troubles; she told them, and the old woman promised all would be well and told her to lie down. The girl slept, and the old woman picked the feathers.
The next day, the stepmother set her to empty a pond with a spoon. The old woman had her sleep in a thicket and touched the pool with the spoon, which turned the pool to vapor.
The third day, the stepmother ordered her to build a castle in a rocky valley. The old woman had her sleep in the shade and moved the rocks to form a castle. The stepmother inspected every inch of it, promising a beating if it were not all as it should be; she went to check that the cellar was filled, and the cellar door fell on her, killing her.
The girl lived in the castle alone. It was filled with riches, and stories of her beauty and wealth spread. Many wooers came to her. At last, a king's son won her heart. He went to get his father's consent. She kissed him, told him not to let anyone else kiss him on that cheek, and sat under a lime tree to await him. On the fourth day without his return, she packed up three dresses, embroidered with suns, moons, and stars, and set out to seek him. She was unable to find him, whoever she asked, and finally took a job as a cowherd and buried her jewels and dresses under a rock. She made a pet of a little calf and sang to it of her being abandoned.
After a few years, she heard that the king's daughter was to marry, and saw that the bridegroom was her prince. She sang to her calf as the prince rode by, and he looked at her, but he did not remember her. When three days' festivities were held to celebrate the marriage, she dressed herself in her gown with suns and went to the first ball. She so enchanted the prince that he forgot his new bride. The second night, she wore the gown with moons and enchanted him again; she had to promise to come the third night to get away. The third night, she wore the gown with stars, and when she kissed him, he remembered her. They went back to her castle and married there.
Love by ales-kotnik on deviantART
February 12, 2014
Dreams...
When I was 12 years old I wrote my very first list. It was filled with things I wanted to do when I 'grew up'. It was filled with places I wanted to visit. New York, Italy, France, China, Ireland...the list went on and on. I loved listing these dreams and goals. The way they looked on a sheet of paper made it feel like I was halfway there. I couldn't wait to grow up. I felt like nothing would ever happen to me if I stayed in Puerto Rico. I have a complicated relationship with that little island. Love and hate...I guess. I love some of the traditions and cultural aspects of it. But I didn't enjoy the town I grew up in, I was bullied in school, there wasn't a bookstore or a library I could go to, My brother and I spent a lot of time at home...alone with nothing to do, nowhere to go unless it was to move the cow from one side of the field to the other so it would have fresh grass. So yeah....Puerto Rico wasn't exactly a paradise for me. It looks really pretty in pictures though. But living there was not fun for me.
Anyway five years after I wrote that list my family and I moved to Delaware. It was a bit of a culture shock because coming from a farm in Puerto Rico where there was NOTHING to do and all of a sudden everything and anything was possible. Holy crap there was a library I could go to? And then I found Borders. Books everywhere. Books wall to wall. I'm pretty sure I cried.
Going to school to be a writer wasn't an option for me (but I did go to Del Tech to get an associates degree in Human Services...never finished). But then I wandered to the reference section and discovered the writing books. My jaw dropped. There were books that could TEACH me how to write novel? This was the first book I bought.
Another step toward making my dream come true. It was a lot of work. There were things I didn't know. I took a technical writing class once and the teacher asked me to drop out of his class because I was so god-awful. LOL I didn't know what an indentation was, I didn't know how to use the tab key. I seriously wish I were joking. I wanted to be a writer so badly, and I felt like this was a sign that maybe I should just take a step back from my dream. So I dropped his class...but not my dream. I decided that the only sign should come from God and maybe have some skywriting involved. A message written in the clouds saying 'Liz, don't be a writer...be something else.' LOL Lucky for me, I just went to Borders and bought another book on writing and learned even more. And I'm still learning. I'm still trying to be a better writer. I still buy writing books and magazines.
I published my first novel when I was 21 years old. God, that was ten years ago. And it was a terribly written book. But I learned about the publishing industry and made lots of friends (some that I still have to this day).
What is the point of this blog post? That you can have a dream, but you need to have work ethic, guts and persistence in order to make it happen. Some luck may be involved but if you don't believe in yourself then why should anyone else. You have to be your biggest cheerleader and that's what I do everyday. Even when I don't feel like writing or promoting my book (trust me, it does happen) I try to do just a tiny little bit because I keep thinking of that little girl I used to be. Who had big dreams, who didn't think they would come true, who didn't think anything remotely interesting would ever happen in her life, I want to show her that dreams can come true. I know somewhere in the back of my mind, spirit and soul, that little girl is somewhere smiling.
Anyway five years after I wrote that list my family and I moved to Delaware. It was a bit of a culture shock because coming from a farm in Puerto Rico where there was NOTHING to do and all of a sudden everything and anything was possible. Holy crap there was a library I could go to? And then I found Borders. Books everywhere. Books wall to wall. I'm pretty sure I cried.
Going to school to be a writer wasn't an option for me (but I did go to Del Tech to get an associates degree in Human Services...never finished). But then I wandered to the reference section and discovered the writing books. My jaw dropped. There were books that could TEACH me how to write novel? This was the first book I bought.
Another step toward making my dream come true. It was a lot of work. There were things I didn't know. I took a technical writing class once and the teacher asked me to drop out of his class because I was so god-awful. LOL I didn't know what an indentation was, I didn't know how to use the tab key. I seriously wish I were joking. I wanted to be a writer so badly, and I felt like this was a sign that maybe I should just take a step back from my dream. So I dropped his class...but not my dream. I decided that the only sign should come from God and maybe have some skywriting involved. A message written in the clouds saying 'Liz, don't be a writer...be something else.' LOL Lucky for me, I just went to Borders and bought another book on writing and learned even more. And I'm still learning. I'm still trying to be a better writer. I still buy writing books and magazines.
I published my first novel when I was 21 years old. God, that was ten years ago. And it was a terribly written book. But I learned about the publishing industry and made lots of friends (some that I still have to this day).
What is the point of this blog post? That you can have a dream, but you need to have work ethic, guts and persistence in order to make it happen. Some luck may be involved but if you don't believe in yourself then why should anyone else. You have to be your biggest cheerleader and that's what I do everyday. Even when I don't feel like writing or promoting my book (trust me, it does happen) I try to do just a tiny little bit because I keep thinking of that little girl I used to be. Who had big dreams, who didn't think they would come true, who didn't think anything remotely interesting would ever happen in her life, I want to show her that dreams can come true. I know somewhere in the back of my mind, spirit and soul, that little girl is somewhere smiling.
February 11, 2014
2nd and Charles Book Signing ~ Liz DeJesus & J.M. Reinbold
JM Reinbold is the Director of the Written Remains Writers Guild in Wilmington, Delaware. She is the author of the novella “Transfusions,” published in the anthology Stories from the Inkslingers (Gryphonwood Press, 2008). “Transfusions” was nominated for a Washington Science Fiction Association Small Press Award. Her poetry has appeared in Red Fez Magazine. Strange Love (2010) and A Beat Style Haiku (2012). In 2011, she received an honorable mention from the Delaware Division of the Arts Individual Artist Fellowships for her novel Prince of the Piedmont. She has been selected twice (2008, 2012) by the Delaware Division of the Arts as a fiction fellow for the Cape Henlopen Poets & Writers Retreat. In 2009, her novel-in-progress, Summer’s End, was a finalist in the Magic Carpet Ride Magical Realism Mentorship competition. You can visit her online at www.jmreinbold.com.
Liz DeJesus was born on the tiny island of Puerto Rico. She is a novelist and a poet. She has been writing for as long as she was capable of holding a pen. She is the author of the novel Nina (Blu Phi'er Publishing, October 2007), The Jackets (Arte Publico Press, March 31st 2011) First Frost (Musa Publishing, June 22nd 2012) and Glass Frost (Musa Publishing, July 2013). Visit her website www.lizdejesus.com
Check out the facebook event here. Hope to see you there!
Can't make it to the book signing? No worries. Pick up a copy of either book on amazon (or your favorite book store).
February 9, 2014
Sample Sunday
I touched my chest, stomach and arms, which further confirmed what I already suspected. I was definitely a girl. I stared at my hands. They were petite. I had olive toned skin. My nails were short and oval shaped. I gazed upon the lines on the palm of my hands as though they were a map to my past. Something I could follow, that would lead me home. But all I saw were lines. My name didn’t magically appear. None of my questions were answered. I checked my clothes. And something caught my attention. On the left hand corner of my shirt there was something written on it. I twisted my neck until I was able to read the name ‘Penny’.
I said it out loud a few times.
My name is Penny. I feel like a Penny…that seemed right.
A waitress. That’s what I’m supposed to be. I was sure of it. I was supposed to work the lunch shift. I remembered the glow of the yellow-orange sun shining upon my skin. I could still feel my ponytail swinging from side to side as I gave people their meals and drinks.
I stood up and then ducked as something zoomed above my head.
What was that?
I ran to the edge of the wall and pressed my back against it. I raised my arms to shield my head and face as blocks continued to whiz past me. Where the heck am I?
© Liz DeJesus 2014
Dream by mortalitas on deviantART
I said it out loud a few times.
My name is Penny. I feel like a Penny…that seemed right.
A waitress. That’s what I’m supposed to be. I was sure of it. I was supposed to work the lunch shift. I remembered the glow of the yellow-orange sun shining upon my skin. I could still feel my ponytail swinging from side to side as I gave people their meals and drinks.
I stood up and then ducked as something zoomed above my head.
What was that?
I ran to the edge of the wall and pressed my back against it. I raised my arms to shield my head and face as blocks continued to whiz past me. Where the heck am I?
© Liz DeJesus 2014
Dream by mortalitas on deviantART
February 7, 2014
Fairy Tale Friday
I've been a little M.I.A for a while when it comes to Fairy Tale Friday. But it's been crazy lately. Anyway I decided to go with a classic story. The Boy Who Cried Wolf. :) You have to live under a rock to not know this particular story. It's one of those stories that has a very important lesson and a moral behind it. It's one of the reasons I've always enjoyed Aesop's Fables. Always something to learn within each story. :)
Anyway what's your favorite Fable? What do you like or dislike about The Boy Who Cried Wolf?
This is what I got from Wikipedia:
Francis Barlow's illustration of the fable, 1687
The Boy Who Cried Wolf by Lumichi on deviantART
The Boy who cried wolf 3 by mjdawson23 on deviantART
Anyway what's your favorite Fable? What do you like or dislike about The Boy Who Cried Wolf?
This is what I got from Wikipedia:
Francis Barlow's illustration of the fable, 1687
The tale concerns a shepherd boy who repeatedly tricks nearby villagers into thinking a wolf is attacking his flock. When one actually does appear and the boy again calls for help, the villagers will not come and the sheep are eaten by the wolf.[2]
The moral stated at the end of the Greek version is, "this shows how liars are rewarded: even if they tell the truth, no one believes them". It echoes a statement attributed to Aristotle by Diogenes Laërtius in his The Lives and Opinions of Eminent Philosophers, where the sage was asked what those who tell lies gain by it and he answered "that when they speak truth they are not believed".[3] William Caxton similarly closes his version with the remark that "men bileve not lyghtly hym whiche is knowen for a lyer".[4]
The Boy Who Cried Wolf by Lumichi on deviantART
The Boy who cried wolf 3 by mjdawson23 on deviantART
January 29, 2014
Valentine's Day Crayons!!
Valentine's Day will be here in a couple of weeks (yes, it's right around the corner). And to get ready for the big day I decided that instead of regular Valentine's Day cards for my son's preschool class, I figured it would be fun to make heart shaped crayons.
So I figured I'd share it with you guys and hope you enjoy yourself as much as I did. :D
What you'll need:
Cake or cookie pan.
(Got this one at Target today) :D
Several boxes of crayons. Any brand will do, but I'm a Crayola girl at heart. So I bought three boxes.
Sharp scissors (just in case).
A can of PAM (so that the crayons don't stick to the pan).
Step One: Take the paper off the crayons. I tried doing it without scissors but you gotta hand it to Crayola, that paper is STUCK there pretty good. I got my sharpest pair of scissors and cut a line straight through the paper and it popped right off. There might be a tiny film of glue left behind but it'll melt off in the oven.
Step Two:
Spray the pan with a bit of PAM. Use some paper towel to wipe up some of the excess.
Step Three:
Take 4 crayons and break them into each heart. You can group them by color or you can have rainbow crayons with any leftover crayons you find around the house. Have fun.
Step Four:
Put the pan with the broken crayons in the oven. I put it at 350 degrees and it melted within a few minutes.
Step Five:
Once the crayons have melted take the pan out of the oven (very carefully because the crayons are now liquidy) and put the pan in the freezer so that the crayon wax will harden a lot faster. This will take about ten minutes.
Step Six:
Take the pan out of the freezer and your heart shaped crayons are ready to go. :) FYI If you have a cake pan like the one I got, the crayons won't pop off easily. So you might have to bang the pan against the counter a few times. Just remember to use a bit of PAM and hopefully they won't break while you take them out of the pan.
Enjoy!!
So I figured I'd share it with you guys and hope you enjoy yourself as much as I did. :D
What you'll need:
Cake or cookie pan.
(Got this one at Target today) :D
Several boxes of crayons. Any brand will do, but I'm a Crayola girl at heart. So I bought three boxes.
Sharp scissors (just in case).
A can of PAM (so that the crayons don't stick to the pan).
Step One: Take the paper off the crayons. I tried doing it without scissors but you gotta hand it to Crayola, that paper is STUCK there pretty good. I got my sharpest pair of scissors and cut a line straight through the paper and it popped right off. There might be a tiny film of glue left behind but it'll melt off in the oven.
Step Two:
Spray the pan with a bit of PAM. Use some paper towel to wipe up some of the excess.
Step Three:
Take 4 crayons and break them into each heart. You can group them by color or you can have rainbow crayons with any leftover crayons you find around the house. Have fun.
Step Four:
Put the pan with the broken crayons in the oven. I put it at 350 degrees and it melted within a few minutes.
Step Five:
Once the crayons have melted take the pan out of the oven (very carefully because the crayons are now liquidy) and put the pan in the freezer so that the crayon wax will harden a lot faster. This will take about ten minutes.
Step Six:
Take the pan out of the freezer and your heart shaped crayons are ready to go. :) FYI If you have a cake pan like the one I got, the crayons won't pop off easily. So you might have to bang the pan against the counter a few times. Just remember to use a bit of PAM and hopefully they won't break while you take them out of the pan.
Enjoy!!
January 28, 2014
Preditors and Editors Readers Poll 2013
OMG you guys!!! Glass Frost is on the top ten list of Best Young Adult Books 2013!!!!!!!!!! You know what this means? Happy dance!!!!
http://www.amazon.com/Glass-Frost-Liz-DeJesus-ebook/dp/B00E123XBG/ref=pd_sim_kstore_1
http://critters.org/predpoll/final_tally_novelyoungadult.ht</div>
http://www.amazon.com/Glass-Frost-Liz-DeJesus-ebook/dp/B00E123XBG/ref=pd_sim_kstore_1
http://critters.org/predpoll/final_tally_novelyoungadult.ht</div>
Teaser Tuesday
It's been a while since I've shared some teasers and samples of my stories. Anyway this is a snippet of Shattered Frost, this takes place during the Winter Ball in Everafter after Terrance and Bianca finish their dance. Enjoy!
Note: This is all unedited. I apologize for any errors you may find.
Terrance takes Bianca hand and gracefully guides her onto the dance floor. Her heart is ready to burst out of her chest from excitement. Five months had gone in preparation for this moment. She memorized her steps, there was no way this could go wrong. Terrance placed his warm hands on her body, one around her waist and the other on her right hand. She took a deep breath and waited for the music to begin. Terrance took the first step and the rest was for lack of a better word…magical. She started to giggle. She couldn’t help it. This was all too much. Her heart swelled with love for him. She had never felt that way about anyone. The music rose and fell all around them. Their bodies moving in time with the song. The weight of his hand on her waist. Perfect.
Before she knew it….it all came to an end. Terrance beamed at her with pride and love when the song was finished. Based on the look on his face she knew she had done well.
“Where did you learn to dance like that?” he asked.
“I’ve been dancing my whole life. I started with ballet, then moved on to ballroom dancing. That didn’t last very long and then I moved onto Irish Step Dance. That was a lot more fun. Bunch of crazy Irish people stomping their feet with bagpipes. But Ming and I have been practicing for months in order to dance tonight. You look surprised,” Bianca replied.
“I am. I half expected you to stomp on my feet.”
“And you would’ve put up with that?”
“I would’ve enjoyed every blister.”
“I find that hard to believe,” Bianca said between giggles.
Terrance grinned.
“You really are just saying that aren’t you?”
“I have no idea what the correct answer is at this point.”
© Liz DeJesus 2014
Curious? Click here to find out more about Bianca Frost and the magical world of Everafter.
Note: This is all unedited. I apologize for any errors you may find.
Terrance takes Bianca hand and gracefully guides her onto the dance floor. Her heart is ready to burst out of her chest from excitement. Five months had gone in preparation for this moment. She memorized her steps, there was no way this could go wrong. Terrance placed his warm hands on her body, one around her waist and the other on her right hand. She took a deep breath and waited for the music to begin. Terrance took the first step and the rest was for lack of a better word…magical. She started to giggle. She couldn’t help it. This was all too much. Her heart swelled with love for him. She had never felt that way about anyone. The music rose and fell all around them. Their bodies moving in time with the song. The weight of his hand on her waist. Perfect.
Before she knew it….it all came to an end. Terrance beamed at her with pride and love when the song was finished. Based on the look on his face she knew she had done well.
“Where did you learn to dance like that?” he asked.
“I’ve been dancing my whole life. I started with ballet, then moved on to ballroom dancing. That didn’t last very long and then I moved onto Irish Step Dance. That was a lot more fun. Bunch of crazy Irish people stomping their feet with bagpipes. But Ming and I have been practicing for months in order to dance tonight. You look surprised,” Bianca replied.
“I am. I half expected you to stomp on my feet.”
“And you would’ve put up with that?”
“I would’ve enjoyed every blister.”
“I find that hard to believe,” Bianca said between giggles.
Terrance grinned.
“You really are just saying that aren’t you?”
“I have no idea what the correct answer is at this point.”
© Liz DeJesus 2014
Curious? Click here to find out more about Bianca Frost and the magical world of Everafter.
January 22, 2014
I guess I'm weird....
This is something that has been running through my head over the past few days and I keep trying to find the right words...so instead of perpetually searching I'm just gonna write down whatever comes to mind and see where it takes me.
A few days before Christmas I decided to dye my hair purple. It was something I used to do at the drop of a hat before I got married and had kids (before I started infiltrating this thing called 'normal'). I loved changing the color of my hair. Amethyst purple. Peacock blue. Fire engine red. Sea foam green. Cotton candy pink. Although my all time favorite? You guessed it...purple. It was how I expressed myself. It's how I let the world know how I was feeling. You know what I mean? But then I got married and decided that it was time to grow up. Stupid. I know that know. But I figured since I was spending time around soldiers, generals and their wives I may as well look the part and not embarrass my husband. So I stopped dyeing my hair. Then I had a baby. Another reason to look the part of someone's mommy and not like I work at Hot Topic. I have a hard time enough as it is getting the other mom's to talk to me and maybe even be friends with me, let me not make it even harder for myself by being...myself. Sigh. Fast forward a few years of this nonsense called normal...
Enter depression. And trust me this isn't just about the hair. This was many years of suppressing my own personality. Don't let anyone know how freakin' weird I actually am. You know what I mean? Then a couple of years ago I decided to take two 'fuck-it' pills and not even bother trying. I needed to find my own people. Where they were, I had no idea. But I was going to find them.
And thanks to my awesome BFF ladytairngire I found the Written Remains Guild. At the time they hadn't even invited me to be a member of their guild (which I still think it's amazing by the way) but it was nice to finally find a group of people where I could be myself. I didn't have to hide the fact that I like Hello Kitty and Tokidoki. I didn't have to hide the fact that I was obsessed with fairy tales (some people even find this trait endearing). I didn't have to hide the fact that I was writer (yes, there are people out there that know me as a person and don't know that I'm a writer). I didn't have to hide at all. I could just be myself. And it was awesome. It was great to be able to talk about books I was reading. Projects I'm working on. Weird dreams I have. Ideas for stories. And finally someone who laughed at my stupid jokes.
It's funny. Even after all these years I was still trying to fit in somewhere. And I finally have found a place that just for me. :) Writers. My people. Sigh. Makes me happy just to think of our monthly breakfast meetings. No one batted an eyelash when I debuted my purple hair at the last meeting. It was almost like they were expecting me to do something like that.
When I dropped of Mason at school? Each of his four teachers took turns picking him up in the morning (I drop him off at school he's in preschool) just so they could see my hair. It took them three days but they all got a turn to look at the weird mom. :) It's okay. I don't mind. At least I'm happier with myself these days. I still have my days where I don't wanna get out of bed. My depression isn't going to go away just because I'm finally at peace with myself and who I am as an individual, but at least it's getting easier to face the world. At least I'll teach my kids that it's okay to be yourself even if no one else understands. Because you will always find a group of people (no matter how small) that like you just the way you are.
My hair a few days after Christmas.
My hair a few days ago. Gonna go back to purple as soon as I get my new hair dye in the mail. :)
A few days before Christmas I decided to dye my hair purple. It was something I used to do at the drop of a hat before I got married and had kids (before I started infiltrating this thing called 'normal'). I loved changing the color of my hair. Amethyst purple. Peacock blue. Fire engine red. Sea foam green. Cotton candy pink. Although my all time favorite? You guessed it...purple. It was how I expressed myself. It's how I let the world know how I was feeling. You know what I mean? But then I got married and decided that it was time to grow up. Stupid. I know that know. But I figured since I was spending time around soldiers, generals and their wives I may as well look the part and not embarrass my husband. So I stopped dyeing my hair. Then I had a baby. Another reason to look the part of someone's mommy and not like I work at Hot Topic. I have a hard time enough as it is getting the other mom's to talk to me and maybe even be friends with me, let me not make it even harder for myself by being...myself. Sigh. Fast forward a few years of this nonsense called normal...
Enter depression. And trust me this isn't just about the hair. This was many years of suppressing my own personality. Don't let anyone know how freakin' weird I actually am. You know what I mean? Then a couple of years ago I decided to take two 'fuck-it' pills and not even bother trying. I needed to find my own people. Where they were, I had no idea. But I was going to find them.
And thanks to my awesome BFF ladytairngire I found the Written Remains Guild. At the time they hadn't even invited me to be a member of their guild (which I still think it's amazing by the way) but it was nice to finally find a group of people where I could be myself. I didn't have to hide the fact that I like Hello Kitty and Tokidoki. I didn't have to hide the fact that I was obsessed with fairy tales (some people even find this trait endearing). I didn't have to hide the fact that I was writer (yes, there are people out there that know me as a person and don't know that I'm a writer). I didn't have to hide at all. I could just be myself. And it was awesome. It was great to be able to talk about books I was reading. Projects I'm working on. Weird dreams I have. Ideas for stories. And finally someone who laughed at my stupid jokes.
It's funny. Even after all these years I was still trying to fit in somewhere. And I finally have found a place that just for me. :) Writers. My people. Sigh. Makes me happy just to think of our monthly breakfast meetings. No one batted an eyelash when I debuted my purple hair at the last meeting. It was almost like they were expecting me to do something like that.
When I dropped of Mason at school? Each of his four teachers took turns picking him up in the morning (I drop him off at school he's in preschool) just so they could see my hair. It took them three days but they all got a turn to look at the weird mom. :) It's okay. I don't mind. At least I'm happier with myself these days. I still have my days where I don't wanna get out of bed. My depression isn't going to go away just because I'm finally at peace with myself and who I am as an individual, but at least it's getting easier to face the world. At least I'll teach my kids that it's okay to be yourself even if no one else understands. Because you will always find a group of people (no matter how small) that like you just the way you are.
My hair a few days after Christmas.
My hair a few days ago. Gonna go back to purple as soon as I get my new hair dye in the mail. :)
January 19, 2014
Keep dreaming....
The world needs dreamers. People who create. Writers, artists, photographers, sculptures and everything in between. Don't ever let anyone make you feel like what you do isn't important or like it doesn't matter. Because it does. Keep dreaming. Keep creating. Otherwise this world would be so incredibly bleak.
