David G. Cookson's Blog, page 27
July 21, 2017
Your Daily Beer Club 3 excerpt.
this picks up right where the last one ended...
“It would be so damn easy, wouldn’t it,” he heard a voice behind him.
He turned his head. He knew that voice…
"Gus?"
The former Beer Club Beer Master.
The one who’d recruited him.
The one who’d led the savage lavatory juice bath to initiate Kyle in the bizarre rebirth ritual that signified the end of his old life and the beginning of his new one as Kareem Abdul Crosby Lemieux…though no one ever really called him that.
The one.
“The one and only. I knew you’d be here. Now I have a question to ask you: why are you messing up the Beer Club?”
“It would be so damn easy, wouldn’t it,” he heard a voice behind him.
He turned his head. He knew that voice…
"Gus?"
The former Beer Club Beer Master.
The one who’d recruited him.
The one who’d led the savage lavatory juice bath to initiate Kyle in the bizarre rebirth ritual that signified the end of his old life and the beginning of his new one as Kareem Abdul Crosby Lemieux…though no one ever really called him that.
The one.
“The one and only. I knew you’d be here. Now I have a question to ask you: why are you messing up the Beer Club?”
July 20, 2017
Beer Club: Reunion atop Gamblon Tower
From my increasingly off-the-rails summer writing project.
The tallest building in Gambon City was Gamblon Tower. At this hour of day, there was very little traffic as Kyle slipped out into the night. Shaken to the bone, terrified of what had become of his life, shaking…
It didn’t look good. The easy option was to press the button and ride to the 77th floor…
*
He got to the destination. Climbed up through an access panel, and there he was.
On the roof of the tallest building in Gamblon City.
He stood close to the edge, just trying to take in the view…which wasn’t much.
But he needed the perspective that this view gave him.
He closed his eyes, breathed in the air at this level from a height that was incongruous with the rest of this sad one trick pony town.
“It would be so damn easy, wouldn’t it,” he heard a voice behind him.
He turned his head. He knew that voice…
“Gus?”
The tallest building in Gambon City was Gamblon Tower. At this hour of day, there was very little traffic as Kyle slipped out into the night. Shaken to the bone, terrified of what had become of his life, shaking…
It didn’t look good. The easy option was to press the button and ride to the 77th floor…
*
He got to the destination. Climbed up through an access panel, and there he was.
On the roof of the tallest building in Gamblon City.
He stood close to the edge, just trying to take in the view…which wasn’t much.
But he needed the perspective that this view gave him.
He closed his eyes, breathed in the air at this level from a height that was incongruous with the rest of this sad one trick pony town.
“It would be so damn easy, wouldn’t it,” he heard a voice behind him.
He turned his head. He knew that voice…
“Gus?”
July 19, 2017
Poking the Bear
writing this Beer Club 3 story over the summer.
While Kareem Abdul Crosby Lemieux was the unquestioned leader of the day to day operations of the group, the laws made it necessary to retain the presence of the Emperor. Otherwise known as The Bear.
And it was unwise to poke the Bear…
Scarred from a childhood incident, the Bear/Emperor lived just over the Mountain, the legendary mountain that kids drove over to buy beer after hours. It was said that he retained the memory of a childhood incident at which he had a birthday party where no one showed up…
His mother had rented chairs, baked a cake, and hired a clown, but his birthday party was unfortunately pre-empted by a Wobblers concert, who happened to be the most successful kids group of all time. No one showed up. His sadness turned to anger, and it was said that something snapped in him that day. Once social and friendly, he became isolated and moody and retreated within himself, donning a hoodie and hiding his face from everyone and everything, only answering questions from adults in the most perfunctory way.
As he grew up and grew more withdrawn, his shame at least took him down a productive path.
Scarred by the insult, he built his empire and then maintained it from afar, shunning humans and mostly keeping to himself.
Until now.
While Kareem Abdul Crosby Lemieux was the unquestioned leader of the day to day operations of the group, the laws made it necessary to retain the presence of the Emperor. Otherwise known as The Bear.
And it was unwise to poke the Bear…
Scarred from a childhood incident, the Bear/Emperor lived just over the Mountain, the legendary mountain that kids drove over to buy beer after hours. It was said that he retained the memory of a childhood incident at which he had a birthday party where no one showed up…
His mother had rented chairs, baked a cake, and hired a clown, but his birthday party was unfortunately pre-empted by a Wobblers concert, who happened to be the most successful kids group of all time. No one showed up. His sadness turned to anger, and it was said that something snapped in him that day. Once social and friendly, he became isolated and moody and retreated within himself, donning a hoodie and hiding his face from everyone and everything, only answering questions from adults in the most perfunctory way.
As he grew up and grew more withdrawn, his shame at least took him down a productive path.
Scarred by the insult, he built his empire and then maintained it from afar, shunning humans and mostly keeping to himself.
Until now.
July 18, 2017
The Convention Scene.
my story has gotten to this point.
The O&*&*&*&*& Civic Center was buzzing with activity.
“The Time Share Convention?” he read the Marquee.
“Yeah! Don’t you remember what I told you on the plane?”
“‘I am desperate to throw my money away on a timeshare I won’t need. Can you help?’ ”
“Bingo! That is exactly what I said! See? There are some people out there who listen.”
“Well…the line was delivered so breathlessly and with such obvious subtext I doubt I could ever forget it.”
“That was the point! I learned it at the last convention! ‘The Power of subtextual desire.’ I’m so glad it worked!”
“So…this isn’t our first convention?”
“Oh, honey, please! Some people travel round the world to follow eclipses or the perfect wave or their favorite musical artist. But not me: I’m a time share convention junky.”
“A Time Share Convention junky?”
“Yep.”
“Is this…common?”
“I run into a few regulars once in a while. But I don’t think anyone matches my level of enthusiasm. Ok, here: Can you pretend to be my husband? This panel is just for married couples and they get SUPER cranky about fakes..."
The O&*&*&*&*& Civic Center was buzzing with activity.
“The Time Share Convention?” he read the Marquee.
“Yeah! Don’t you remember what I told you on the plane?”
“‘I am desperate to throw my money away on a timeshare I won’t need. Can you help?’ ”
“Bingo! That is exactly what I said! See? There are some people out there who listen.”
“Well…the line was delivered so breathlessly and with such obvious subtext I doubt I could ever forget it.”
“That was the point! I learned it at the last convention! ‘The Power of subtextual desire.’ I’m so glad it worked!”
“So…this isn’t our first convention?”
“Oh, honey, please! Some people travel round the world to follow eclipses or the perfect wave or their favorite musical artist. But not me: I’m a time share convention junky.”
“A Time Share Convention junky?”
“Yep.”
“Is this…common?”
“I run into a few regulars once in a while. But I don’t think anyone matches my level of enthusiasm. Ok, here: Can you pretend to be my husband? This panel is just for married couples and they get SUPER cranky about fakes..."
July 17, 2017
More with Beer Club: Nihilism is Unsustainable!!!
I'm writing a short novel over the summer...
Eugene, confused by the experience with the strange woman on the flight from Gamblon City, suddenly became overtaken with his purpose. Which was to get to baggage claim and bring this item to the drop spot.
*
Fifteen minutes later, he was in a car headed to the address that had been given him…his brain only being aware of one step at a time, and quickly forgotten afterward. His movements thus guided by preprogramming, free will removed from the equation with all of the messy guess work of brainwashing eliminated.
“It doesn’t matter, and nobody cares,” he said to himself absently.
“What, Buddy?” The driver in front said.
“Nothing…I wasn’t saying anything.”
“I think you were. It sound like ‘Nobody cares, it doesn’t matter.”
“I don’t know, maybe.”
“You know: nihilism is not a sustainable philosophy. Something has to matter, my friend.”
“I…I don’t even remember saying that.”
“Oh…that’s even worse. How can you defend a philosophy like that when you can’t even remember it? This is no way for a man to live! No way! No sir! No way to live!”
“I don’t even know what I’m doing here.”
“We have a purpose! Life has a purpose! It has to! Otherwise I’m driving this shitty taxi, fighting all the idiot UBER drivers for no reason at all and I’m wasting my life. It HAS TO MEAN SOMETHING!!!”
“I don’t know what to tell you.”
“This. He doesn’t know what to tell me. Well, I tell you, my friend. We’re here.”
Eugene, confused by the experience with the strange woman on the flight from Gamblon City, suddenly became overtaken with his purpose. Which was to get to baggage claim and bring this item to the drop spot.
*
Fifteen minutes later, he was in a car headed to the address that had been given him…his brain only being aware of one step at a time, and quickly forgotten afterward. His movements thus guided by preprogramming, free will removed from the equation with all of the messy guess work of brainwashing eliminated.
“It doesn’t matter, and nobody cares,” he said to himself absently.
“What, Buddy?” The driver in front said.
“Nothing…I wasn’t saying anything.”
“I think you were. It sound like ‘Nobody cares, it doesn’t matter.”
“I don’t know, maybe.”
“You know: nihilism is not a sustainable philosophy. Something has to matter, my friend.”
“I…I don’t even remember saying that.”
“Oh…that’s even worse. How can you defend a philosophy like that when you can’t even remember it? This is no way for a man to live! No way! No sir! No way to live!”
“I don’t even know what I’m doing here.”
“We have a purpose! Life has a purpose! It has to! Otherwise I’m driving this shitty taxi, fighting all the idiot UBER drivers for no reason at all and I’m wasting my life. It HAS TO MEAN SOMETHING!!!”
“I don’t know what to tell you.”
“This. He doesn’t know what to tell me. Well, I tell you, my friend. We’re here.”
July 15, 2017
Beer Club #3. Time shares.
Eugene had no memory of how he got here. Or what he’d been doing for the last two weeks.
“I…just know I’m supposed to be on this flight for some reason…I…I just don’t know.”
“Sounds exciting!” She was about his age, blonde hair…attractive…
“Yeah…you’d think it would be.”
“Is this your first time going to O&8*&*?”
“I…I guess.”
“You know…it’s beautiful.”
“Great…sounds…great.”
“Well, you’re a funny one! Don’t know why you’re going, but you’re going anyway. I’ve had weekends like that! Christ: I have years like that! What’s your name?”
“…Eugene.”
“Eugene. I’m Pamela.”
“Pleased to meet you,” he shook her hand.
“Eugene…can I tell you a secret?” And she leaned in close to him and she whispered, “I am desperate to throw my money away on a timeshare I won’t need. Can you help?”
“I…just know I’m supposed to be on this flight for some reason…I…I just don’t know.”
“Sounds exciting!” She was about his age, blonde hair…attractive…
“Yeah…you’d think it would be.”
“Is this your first time going to O&8*&*?”
“I…I guess.”
“You know…it’s beautiful.”
“Great…sounds…great.”
“Well, you’re a funny one! Don’t know why you’re going, but you’re going anyway. I’ve had weekends like that! Christ: I have years like that! What’s your name?”
“…Eugene.”
“Eugene. I’m Pamela.”
“Pleased to meet you,” he shook her hand.
“Eugene…can I tell you a secret?” And she leaned in close to him and she whispered, “I am desperate to throw my money away on a timeshare I won’t need. Can you help?”
July 14, 2017
Beer Club 3's surrealist twist...
This is an excerpt of a new story I'm writing in a summer project. Don't take it too seriously.
“At the very best, my job is JUST ok…I really hate the people who tell you if you don’t like your life, you should change it! Because usually it is some simpleton fuck who refuses to acknowledge that his successes were made possible by the role that other people played in his life. You know: supportive parents, influential friends, your background, your race, finances provided when necessary…and then when I open my mouth to complain about MY JOB and MY LIFE and things I don’t like about it, that same simpleton FUCK says “Well WHY DON’T YOU GET ANOTHER JOB???”
I don’t know…because rent and beer cost money???…and it’s not always that easy. And whatever I’m doing is still better than being unemployed and homeless. I mean…FUCK!”
I think we can help you, Eugene.
Yes, your case has great promise.
You’ll have to agree to some concessions, though.
Yes, definitely some concessions.
You won’t have the same life as before.
No, definitely not the same life. But it will be better.
Yes….Much better.
Ok, then it’s settled.
Ok?
Ok.
The Discussion was over.
Forgive me. You won’t remember any of this anyway.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
“At the very best, my job is JUST ok…I really hate the people who tell you if you don’t like your life, you should change it! Because usually it is some simpleton fuck who refuses to acknowledge that his successes were made possible by the role that other people played in his life. You know: supportive parents, influential friends, your background, your race, finances provided when necessary…and then when I open my mouth to complain about MY JOB and MY LIFE and things I don’t like about it, that same simpleton FUCK says “Well WHY DON’T YOU GET ANOTHER JOB???”
I don’t know…because rent and beer cost money???…and it’s not always that easy. And whatever I’m doing is still better than being unemployed and homeless. I mean…FUCK!”
I think we can help you, Eugene.
Yes, your case has great promise.
You’ll have to agree to some concessions, though.
Yes, definitely some concessions.
You won’t have the same life as before.
No, definitely not the same life. But it will be better.
Yes….Much better.
Ok, then it’s settled.
Ok?
Ok.
The Discussion was over.
Forgive me. You won’t remember any of this anyway.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
July 12, 2017
The One Eyed man
The One-Eyed Man by Ron Currie Jr.My rating: 4 of 5 stars
K is a heartbroken man who is grieving over the sudden loss of his wife and begins a aggressive truth telling campaign that pisses people off and ultimately causes them to want to kill him. Along with former "Total Foods" clerk Claire, K travels the country doing a reality TV show called "America, you Stoopid," in which nearly every episode culminates in him getting beat up by some stranger he has pushed too far with his excessive logic. Where it goes after that would be giving away too much.
The One Eyed Man says things in a way I wish I could say them in real life. Like when somebody is saying something stupid and you want to pick apart their argument but it's 1. Not worth the effort and 2. just too frustrating to put all that logic into words. I know I can't always get my point out with my words and often prefer not to (see: reason 1). But K rips apart some pretty dumb emotion based arguments and you can see how that starts to get upsetting. He is not so much immoral but sort of a benign amoral character. He becomes lovable only when you realize he doesn't mean anything by anything.
Admittedly, I was almost turned away by this book at the beginning when K's character quirks initially came off a little unnaturally and made him unlikable to me. But I'm glad I got past it because this really was a delightful book.
View all my reviews
July 11, 2017
It's not the alcohol... an Excerpt from Beer Club 3!
From my summer writing project.
The naps were getting more and more brutal. Time consuming. A sad reminder of the man he used to be but had forgotten over the last several years as he grew more and more into the mask of Vader and the cloak of Beer Master.
Am I wasting my time? How long can I stay at this and know that it’s worthless? Do I pull the finish line closer and drag down the organization with me?
Kyle was lost. Lost. Forever lost.
*
Eugene sat back in his apartment, at a crossroads with his treatment. On the one hand, Alcohol was destroying his life and limiting his options. On the other, it wasn’t really the alcohol…it was the kind of people you hung out with when you drank. Sad, pathetic people who told the same stories over and over again, hanging out in bars or at the Country Club and wondering if everyone hated them..
Eugene was lost. Forever lost.
And it was at that precise moment when the two principal participants in our little drama came to realize the individual lostness and pointlessness of their own lives and their inability to escape them that a true game changer appeared…
The naps were getting more and more brutal. Time consuming. A sad reminder of the man he used to be but had forgotten over the last several years as he grew more and more into the mask of Vader and the cloak of Beer Master.
Am I wasting my time? How long can I stay at this and know that it’s worthless? Do I pull the finish line closer and drag down the organization with me?
Kyle was lost. Lost. Forever lost.
*
Eugene sat back in his apartment, at a crossroads with his treatment. On the one hand, Alcohol was destroying his life and limiting his options. On the other, it wasn’t really the alcohol…it was the kind of people you hung out with when you drank. Sad, pathetic people who told the same stories over and over again, hanging out in bars or at the Country Club and wondering if everyone hated them..
Eugene was lost. Forever lost.
And it was at that precise moment when the two principal participants in our little drama came to realize the individual lostness and pointlessness of their own lives and their inability to escape them that a true game changer appeared…
July 8, 2017
Beer Club 3: Kyle Doubts his ability to lead the Beer Club into the future...
From my summer Camp NaNoWriMo writing project.
I lost all my money betting the wrong way on San Diego. Every time. Every fucking time. It ruined me. Kept me in a loop, over and over again, and left me wide open and susceptible to the plans of some not so good men…
I was bathed in a hail of lavatory juice…changed, isolated…like the Darth Vader Mask they made for young Annikan…I wore the cloak of the new Beer Master.
But it’s such an empty existence. All I do is take naps and spout off propaganda. I have no idea what I’m doing, or what the hell I’m doing here. It’s all been a blur. Ever since they started looking at me and calling me “Leader,” I have been unsure of myself. I can’t control the way they look at me. I can’t convince them that I’m not the one they should follow. But all I know is if I can’t do the job, I’m done. I would owe them a ton of money that I’d never be able to pay back…A debt that I’d incurred long ago, in another life before this one.
…But if I disappeared…
It would all go away.
I wouldn’t have to worry any more.
But there was just one problem:
Where could I go???
Where do you go when the people you want to run from are quite literally in every corner of the earth? Where ever men gathered, there was one of us.
And the very air has ears, as I once read in a book somewhere...
I lost all my money betting the wrong way on San Diego. Every time. Every fucking time. It ruined me. Kept me in a loop, over and over again, and left me wide open and susceptible to the plans of some not so good men…
I was bathed in a hail of lavatory juice…changed, isolated…like the Darth Vader Mask they made for young Annikan…I wore the cloak of the new Beer Master.
But it’s such an empty existence. All I do is take naps and spout off propaganda. I have no idea what I’m doing, or what the hell I’m doing here. It’s all been a blur. Ever since they started looking at me and calling me “Leader,” I have been unsure of myself. I can’t control the way they look at me. I can’t convince them that I’m not the one they should follow. But all I know is if I can’t do the job, I’m done. I would owe them a ton of money that I’d never be able to pay back…A debt that I’d incurred long ago, in another life before this one.
…But if I disappeared…
It would all go away.
I wouldn’t have to worry any more.
But there was just one problem:
Where could I go???
Where do you go when the people you want to run from are quite literally in every corner of the earth? Where ever men gathered, there was one of us.
And the very air has ears, as I once read in a book somewhere...
