David G. Cookson's Blog, page 16
November 10, 2018
Letters to Santa: a NanoWrimo Excerpt.
“Have you heard about this Letters to Santa scandal?”
“I’ve been a little out of touch this weekend.”
“Do you know those ‘Letters to Santa’ mailboxes that you see at the mall and shopping centers and stuff like that?”
“Probably not, but please continue.”
“Kids drop their letters in these mailboxes and they are supposed to get routed to this service that responds to them, postmarked from the North Pole.”
“Ok?”
Barry looked confused. “OK, what?”
“…I was inviting you to keep talking…”
“Oh, right. So anyway, this company who manufactures these things with paper shredders inside of them, only they are really loud…there’s video of kids online putting their letters in and hearing them get shredded and they’re crying and it’s really awful.”
“Oh wow. So what was the scandal?”
“…Dude. That WAS the scandal.”
“Oh…ok.”
“No, I mean they were obviously not very fond of children at this factory and some of the machines got altered and turned into paper shredders. The CEO of the Letters to Santa Corporation is under fire. They are asking for his resignation…”
“Oh…ok.”
“Dude? Are you ok?”
“Maybe. Maybe not. You wanna get lunch today?”
“Sure. Nimoy’s?”
“You know it.”
“I’ve been a little out of touch this weekend.”
“Do you know those ‘Letters to Santa’ mailboxes that you see at the mall and shopping centers and stuff like that?”
“Probably not, but please continue.”
“Kids drop their letters in these mailboxes and they are supposed to get routed to this service that responds to them, postmarked from the North Pole.”
“Ok?”
Barry looked confused. “OK, what?”
“…I was inviting you to keep talking…”
“Oh, right. So anyway, this company who manufactures these things with paper shredders inside of them, only they are really loud…there’s video of kids online putting their letters in and hearing them get shredded and they’re crying and it’s really awful.”
“Oh wow. So what was the scandal?”
“…Dude. That WAS the scandal.”
“Oh…ok.”
“No, I mean they were obviously not very fond of children at this factory and some of the machines got altered and turned into paper shredders. The CEO of the Letters to Santa Corporation is under fire. They are asking for his resignation…”
“Oh…ok.”
“Dude? Are you ok?”
“Maybe. Maybe not. You wanna get lunch today?”
“Sure. Nimoy’s?”
“You know it.”
November 3, 2018
1st NanoWrimo Excerpt
My character is in a "Twitter contest" at a local TV station...
Baxter was on his game, blasting away at Voyager Trek and Blaster Star and Boy Wonder Man (the latter being a truly horrible show that was most remembered for the costume that made a young Dick Reynolds look like a pregnant chicken wearing a cape). The messages came rapid fire, and he was getting points for all the likes and retweets, which came in so fast but he didn’t even stop to look.
It was a fine art, this riffing on Twitter. It was the right combination of paying just enough attention to pick up on some random abstract detail that you could make fun of without losing the thread of the story for context. There was getting it out there in time for it to get picked up on by other users, who would decide your fate, and if it was worth continuing on in a certain thread.
It was helpful when the movie was not that good.
And these people he was up against in the contest were cutthroat. Nobody stopped for commercials…they all just tore into the My Mattress guy with that terribly catchy jingle and the Terminal Life Insurance fellow, with his stern face and all the families crying about what was going to happen when grandma passed away, and how if she lived they wouldn’t get to keep the money….
Baxter was on his game, blasting away at Voyager Trek and Blaster Star and Boy Wonder Man (the latter being a truly horrible show that was most remembered for the costume that made a young Dick Reynolds look like a pregnant chicken wearing a cape). The messages came rapid fire, and he was getting points for all the likes and retweets, which came in so fast but he didn’t even stop to look.
It was a fine art, this riffing on Twitter. It was the right combination of paying just enough attention to pick up on some random abstract detail that you could make fun of without losing the thread of the story for context. There was getting it out there in time for it to get picked up on by other users, who would decide your fate, and if it was worth continuing on in a certain thread.
It was helpful when the movie was not that good.
And these people he was up against in the contest were cutthroat. Nobody stopped for commercials…they all just tore into the My Mattress guy with that terribly catchy jingle and the Terminal Life Insurance fellow, with his stern face and all the families crying about what was going to happen when grandma passed away, and how if she lived they wouldn’t get to keep the money….
October 29, 2018
Notes from the day I stayed home and more or less watched The X files for 10 hours…
Friday. October 26. On the couch. At my house…
8 am. The day started with the creepy episode with the guy who digs up women and cuts off their hair and fingernails. Right out of the box I was aware of the fact that this is a prime example of the kind of episode that draws the criticism of the viewers. Scully appears to be uneasy with the crime they are investigating, while Mulder remained strong and dispassionate, gets more lines, and stays cool the whole time. And making it worse, he winds up saving her at the end, which is good but nonetheless unfortunate that it was ever necessary.
9 am. “Humbug” with the Jim Rose Circus.
I don’t like this one. Never have. It always felt a little dated, since the Jim Rose Circus started in 1993 and toured with Lollapalooza and Nine Inch Nails and it really feels like The X-Files was just trying to show that it was hip and relevant in 1994 when this aired. But I can forgive a lot of this shows early sins. I took about a half hour off to do something around the house that had to be done.
10 a.m. “Clyde Bruckman’s Final Repose.”
This is considered one of the series’ best episodes, about a man who can predict the time and manner of a person’s death who helps to track down a killer. I’ve always enjoyed the Darin Morgan ones (he did my recent favorite about alternate reality and the nature of truth). It has all the requisite goofy touches that I love from Morgan, including the TV psychic who shows up to help the police.
One thought: it was mighty lucky this Bruckman guy ran into Mulder, an open minded member of law enforcement. If this had been real life, the cops might have used him as an easy fall guy for the crimes. I love the way Bruckman just accepts his fate as just part of his life. His gift is more of a pain in the ass than anything else, and he knows it.
11 a.m. “Grotesque.”
The episode with Red Forman guy. Took this one off because after the 1st 3 hours I really needed to brush my teeth. And other stuff.
12 noon. “Leonard Betts.”
I was kind of in and out for this one. One curiosity: this ep starred the asshole Doctor from ER, and it followed the one with the Red Forman guy. These actors were together in the movie Robocop.
1-2 p.m. I took a nap. Not sure what I missed.
2 p.m. The one with the doll who gets people to kill themselves. This is one of the creepiest episodes. You’ll never hear the Hokey Pokey Song the same again.
3 p.m. Something about Vampires. Mulder and Scully face an inquiry over a case of the death of teenage vampire. It was funny to see how they told different versions of the same story in which the size of Luke Wilson’s teeth change.
4 p.m. I wrote something down but I can’t read it. Something about a guy who sees something. Sorry.
5 p.m. Mulder and Scully get lost in the woods and it turns out they are being ingested and nobody really knows what’s going on up until the very end.
6 p.m. I started watching the next episode but by that point I had to go out.
Usually I’m not really much of a binge watcher. But this was fun. BBC America seems to have selected the creepiest episodes in conjunction with Halloween. At one point or another I have seen every episode, but it is a testament to the value of this series that it can hold up to multiple re-watchings.
I highly recommend using a perfectly good day to do this every once in a while.
8 am. The day started with the creepy episode with the guy who digs up women and cuts off their hair and fingernails. Right out of the box I was aware of the fact that this is a prime example of the kind of episode that draws the criticism of the viewers. Scully appears to be uneasy with the crime they are investigating, while Mulder remained strong and dispassionate, gets more lines, and stays cool the whole time. And making it worse, he winds up saving her at the end, which is good but nonetheless unfortunate that it was ever necessary.
9 am. “Humbug” with the Jim Rose Circus.
I don’t like this one. Never have. It always felt a little dated, since the Jim Rose Circus started in 1993 and toured with Lollapalooza and Nine Inch Nails and it really feels like The X-Files was just trying to show that it was hip and relevant in 1994 when this aired. But I can forgive a lot of this shows early sins. I took about a half hour off to do something around the house that had to be done.
10 a.m. “Clyde Bruckman’s Final Repose.”
This is considered one of the series’ best episodes, about a man who can predict the time and manner of a person’s death who helps to track down a killer. I’ve always enjoyed the Darin Morgan ones (he did my recent favorite about alternate reality and the nature of truth). It has all the requisite goofy touches that I love from Morgan, including the TV psychic who shows up to help the police.
One thought: it was mighty lucky this Bruckman guy ran into Mulder, an open minded member of law enforcement. If this had been real life, the cops might have used him as an easy fall guy for the crimes. I love the way Bruckman just accepts his fate as just part of his life. His gift is more of a pain in the ass than anything else, and he knows it.
11 a.m. “Grotesque.”
The episode with Red Forman guy. Took this one off because after the 1st 3 hours I really needed to brush my teeth. And other stuff.
12 noon. “Leonard Betts.”
I was kind of in and out for this one. One curiosity: this ep starred the asshole Doctor from ER, and it followed the one with the Red Forman guy. These actors were together in the movie Robocop.
1-2 p.m. I took a nap. Not sure what I missed.
2 p.m. The one with the doll who gets people to kill themselves. This is one of the creepiest episodes. You’ll never hear the Hokey Pokey Song the same again.
3 p.m. Something about Vampires. Mulder and Scully face an inquiry over a case of the death of teenage vampire. It was funny to see how they told different versions of the same story in which the size of Luke Wilson’s teeth change.
4 p.m. I wrote something down but I can’t read it. Something about a guy who sees something. Sorry.
5 p.m. Mulder and Scully get lost in the woods and it turns out they are being ingested and nobody really knows what’s going on up until the very end.
6 p.m. I started watching the next episode but by that point I had to go out.
Usually I’m not really much of a binge watcher. But this was fun. BBC America seems to have selected the creepiest episodes in conjunction with Halloween. At one point or another I have seen every episode, but it is a testament to the value of this series that it can hold up to multiple re-watchings.
I highly recommend using a perfectly good day to do this every once in a while.
October 22, 2018
Svengoolie, Fred Rogers, Mystery Science Theater.
Just dug out this little essay. I hope you like it.
Within the last year I have become a devoted fan of a little movie show that airs every Saturday night on METV, hosted by a man in a top hat and eye makeup who goes by the name "Svengoolie."
It used to be that a lot of cities had movie hosts, people to present old movies and talk about them, but it appears that nowadays Sven stands alone in this venture.
Part of the fun of this show comes in the fact that by using Twitter, when you watch it live, you are interacting with a community of other watchers. And because of this, I have made a few online friends and have come to recognize the general styles that come across from the regulars.
One could describe the whole thing as sort of a national version of Mystery Science Theater 3000…But this reference only goes so far and I believe it gets me to the point of my little post.
Because while a common shorthand description of this show of that it is “a program that airs bad movies” (much like MST3) it is crucially different in many ways. Sven himself, (who is the alter ego of comedian Rich Koz) is a far cry from the snarky robots of the MST3K program (who nonetheless pioneered the comedic riffing style we have come to know and love).
Svengoolie is polite and respectful of the actors in the films, even though most of them are dead and wouldn't care even if he weren't. He offers background information and also does songs and skits to fill the two hour program, as often the movies themselves are fairly short (one recent one clocked in at an hour and five minutes in a version I found online).
I recently watched the Mr. Rogers movie, Will You Be my Neighbor and something about it struck me which brought me to the following comparison:
He wasn’t that different from Svengoolie.
Much like the horror host, Fred Rogers had a great respect for the people he had on his show. He asked questions and treated everyone with dignity. And like Svengoolie, he sang on his show. Unabashedly.
While the premise and the audience was different, I think there is a comparison to be made. At any rate, he certainly mirrors the lessons one could learn from watching the Mr. Rogers show: treat everyone with respect, be a safe space for fans, make your fans feel important by responding to their questions.
This is how Svengoolie rolls. It goes beyond the movies. It goes to the heart of what makes us love the show: we don’t feel stupid for spending our Saturday nights with him.
And the fans on Twitter love it.
And Saturday night is the best night of the week.
If you ever get a chance, stop by some time.
#Svengoolie
#MeTV
Within the last year I have become a devoted fan of a little movie show that airs every Saturday night on METV, hosted by a man in a top hat and eye makeup who goes by the name "Svengoolie."
It used to be that a lot of cities had movie hosts, people to present old movies and talk about them, but it appears that nowadays Sven stands alone in this venture.
Part of the fun of this show comes in the fact that by using Twitter, when you watch it live, you are interacting with a community of other watchers. And because of this, I have made a few online friends and have come to recognize the general styles that come across from the regulars.
One could describe the whole thing as sort of a national version of Mystery Science Theater 3000…But this reference only goes so far and I believe it gets me to the point of my little post.
Because while a common shorthand description of this show of that it is “a program that airs bad movies” (much like MST3) it is crucially different in many ways. Sven himself, (who is the alter ego of comedian Rich Koz) is a far cry from the snarky robots of the MST3K program (who nonetheless pioneered the comedic riffing style we have come to know and love).
Svengoolie is polite and respectful of the actors in the films, even though most of them are dead and wouldn't care even if he weren't. He offers background information and also does songs and skits to fill the two hour program, as often the movies themselves are fairly short (one recent one clocked in at an hour and five minutes in a version I found online).
I recently watched the Mr. Rogers movie, Will You Be my Neighbor and something about it struck me which brought me to the following comparison:
He wasn’t that different from Svengoolie.
Much like the horror host, Fred Rogers had a great respect for the people he had on his show. He asked questions and treated everyone with dignity. And like Svengoolie, he sang on his show. Unabashedly.
While the premise and the audience was different, I think there is a comparison to be made. At any rate, he certainly mirrors the lessons one could learn from watching the Mr. Rogers show: treat everyone with respect, be a safe space for fans, make your fans feel important by responding to their questions.
This is how Svengoolie rolls. It goes beyond the movies. It goes to the heart of what makes us love the show: we don’t feel stupid for spending our Saturday nights with him.
And the fans on Twitter love it.
And Saturday night is the best night of the week.
If you ever get a chance, stop by some time.
#Svengoolie
#MeTV
October 1, 2018
October 1 Means 31 days ‘til NaNoWriMo
Not to take anything away from October…but this is what I think about as the calendar turns and we get into the 10th month. In another 31 days I will be once again headlong into my favorite month of the year, and what I refer to as my personal Super Bowl of Writing: National Novel Writing Month. I will be doing some pre-Nano blogging which you can read right here.
Part One: the Misfire.
I hate to admit it, but last year was a misfire.
My idea was absurd but that never stopped me before. I was trying to write a story about a guy who had a condition that made it necessary for him to take a nap every three hours…or die.
Admittedly, I had no idea of why this would happen, and that is where I got hung up in trying to offer an explanation for the guy’s condition. At one point I even bit the bullet and just tried to explain that the guy was in fact a defective robot. It went so far off the rails so quickly that while I’m sure some of it was okay, I just haven’t bothered to revisit it.
(How I wished for another Pain Center: the Novel!-kind of experience. THAT one came out about 85 percent of the way I intended. And that is a brilliant made-up statistic.)
It wasn’t good but I was in too deep to stop. That November 30th deadline looms over everything you do.
I hit the 50 thousand word mark, I won my prize of bragging rights, and yeah, it’s not irredeemable…but I really don’t see the need to dwell on it, other than as an instructive exercise in...I have no idea what.
But…I’m pretty excited this time around. I’ve been writing notes all year and I have story in mind. It’s hard to know how it will go once I start the actual writing. But hopefully it’s not another misfire.
For more info about the National Novel Writing Month, click here:
https://nanowrimo.org/
Read Pain Center: the Novel! My 2017 Nanowrimo Novel http://davecookson.tripod.com/PainCen...
Part One: the Misfire.
I hate to admit it, but last year was a misfire.
My idea was absurd but that never stopped me before. I was trying to write a story about a guy who had a condition that made it necessary for him to take a nap every three hours…or die.
Admittedly, I had no idea of why this would happen, and that is where I got hung up in trying to offer an explanation for the guy’s condition. At one point I even bit the bullet and just tried to explain that the guy was in fact a defective robot. It went so far off the rails so quickly that while I’m sure some of it was okay, I just haven’t bothered to revisit it.
(How I wished for another Pain Center: the Novel!-kind of experience. THAT one came out about 85 percent of the way I intended. And that is a brilliant made-up statistic.)
It wasn’t good but I was in too deep to stop. That November 30th deadline looms over everything you do.
I hit the 50 thousand word mark, I won my prize of bragging rights, and yeah, it’s not irredeemable…but I really don’t see the need to dwell on it, other than as an instructive exercise in...I have no idea what.
But…I’m pretty excited this time around. I’ve been writing notes all year and I have story in mind. It’s hard to know how it will go once I start the actual writing. But hopefully it’s not another misfire.
For more info about the National Novel Writing Month, click here:
https://nanowrimo.org/
Read Pain Center: the Novel! My 2017 Nanowrimo Novel http://davecookson.tripod.com/PainCen...
September 19, 2018
The Saturday Night Chapter
I shouldn't be sharing this but I will anyway..notes for my new novel....
Employees of this organization were recruited based on their Twitter riffing on Saturday night Sci Fi….
Chuck was alone and had little money and few real world friends. Life was hopeless until he stumbled across a group of people online with similar interests to his. They all got together (so to speak) every week to riff on the movie of the week in an online forum….
It was the one thing in the week that he looked forward to, and pretty soon he had established some friendships with the faceless icons he “liked” and chatted with.
Little did he know that this supposedly harmless activity would soon lead him to 7 years of employment in the most evil corporation in the Western World…
Employees of this organization were recruited based on their Twitter riffing on Saturday night Sci Fi….
Chuck was alone and had little money and few real world friends. Life was hopeless until he stumbled across a group of people online with similar interests to his. They all got together (so to speak) every week to riff on the movie of the week in an online forum….
It was the one thing in the week that he looked forward to, and pretty soon he had established some friendships with the faceless icons he “liked” and chatted with.
Little did he know that this supposedly harmless activity would soon lead him to 7 years of employment in the most evil corporation in the Western World…
September 14, 2018
Immortal Life
Immortal Life: A Soon To Be True Story by Stanley BingMy rating: 4 of 5 stars
Sometime in the future…
Trillionaire Arthur Vogel is toward the very end of a long life that has been extended via all kinds of artificial methods. He is cranky, he is cantankerous, he is mean, and man, he is old. At 127 years, he is determined to conquer death, and to that end, he has a person created to house his consciousness. This person, Gene, is kind of a blank…but not entirely. And in time, his newly developed self comes to resist the idea of Arthur being inside him. It leads to a rebellion on a planet dominated by one or two major corporations all under the realm of The Cloud…
I have to start by saying that this sort of technology that would extend life or maybe make death rare or obsolete kind of scares the hell out of me. I can only see it as something that would benefit the very rich, who, possessing the key to destroy the great equalizer of death, will have yet another avenue to step on, ignore, or otherwise destroy the poor. And lacking that great equalizer of death, where do we go as a people? What do we do with ourselves?
These won’t be nice people utilizing these technologies. Think of the worst people in history having access to eternal life…not salt of the Earth types…not the saints or the do gooders, but people like Arthur, mean, petty, and absolutely off his nut…
Luckily, this novel doesn’t destroy anyone’s interest in aggressively pursuing these questions.
I liked some of the ideas of what will take place in the future. The concept of “Intercranial Shaming” is tossed out, where the power of internet rage is concentrated on a person as punishment….very effective.
Immortal Life is fun, satirical and perhaps very prescient. As technology advances, we have to consider that it is not always for the greater good. Here’s hoping that we know what we’re doing eventually.
View all my reviews
September 6, 2018
Tell the Machine Good Night
Tell the Machine Goodnight by Katie WilliamsMy rating: 4 of 5 stars
This new novel from Katie Williams is set in the near future, where a company offers a technology that gives people simple advice that, when heeded, will bring happiness almost 100 percent of the time. It is called the “Apricity System.” (“Apricity” means the feel of the sun on your skin in the winter.) And the advice resembles the advice one might receive in a fortune cookie, only at times way more screwed up.
Example: eat tangerines.
Work at a desk that receives morning light.
(and oh, by the way…)
Cut off your finger with a knife.
This technology is proprietary, and well-guarded, or at least it is supposed to be. Pearl is in charge of administering the test to wealthy clients, one of whom is a famous movie star who insists upon getting one of these tests every day. But in her own life, things are much less clear than they are for her clients; her path to happiness is obscured by her home life and her son Rhett, who will have none of this whole “apricity” business. Rhett seems to defy classification or easy answers. He has serious eating issues and it worries Pearl but he also doesn’t seem to care much about it.
The book shifts perspectives a few times, which can be confusing but it also makes the narrative livelier. The gentle satire of pseudo pop psychology certainly landed with me (and I was once a big Dr. Phil fan, though that was more because I didn’t have cable and was underemployed at the time I was most into the program…I digress…). Could be the whole point of the “apricity” device is that everyone is looking for answers: they don’t care if they are the right ones or if they even make sense or if there is any authority behind the answers given.
It might have been that I read this too slowly and too disjointedly to get the full impact--it really is quite good and it’s certainly clever enough to hold my attention. I’d go with a high 3 for my rating but Goodreads only deals in whole numbers, so we’ll give it the full 4.
View all my reviews
August 26, 2018
Thrifty Times Number 43: The 80’s Issue
Thrifty Times Number 43
The 80’s Issue
Sarah B. MacDonald, editor in chief
@thriftyzine
Picked this one up at Atomic books over the weekend. This zine is all about things that you find at thrift stores, and this issue is…the 80’s issue! Categories include “Fave Finds”, Top 10 items, Video Game Reviews, and a review of a Salvation Army in Hanover Massachusetts (this zine is out of Boston Mass).
This zine is a lot of fun. Breezy, not taking itself too seriously. It is in my generational wheelhouse. I especially enjoyed the review of Cyndi Lauper’s’ “She’s So Unusual” record (this is in my heavy rotation on my turntable at home).
It is reminiscent of a few zines I’d read back in the day (whenever the hell that is) but somehow it felt fresh. Can’t go too wrong for the price, only 2.50 for a good score.
The 80’s Issue
Sarah B. MacDonald, editor in chief
@thriftyzine
Picked this one up at Atomic books over the weekend. This zine is all about things that you find at thrift stores, and this issue is…the 80’s issue! Categories include “Fave Finds”, Top 10 items, Video Game Reviews, and a review of a Salvation Army in Hanover Massachusetts (this zine is out of Boston Mass).
This zine is a lot of fun. Breezy, not taking itself too seriously. It is in my generational wheelhouse. I especially enjoyed the review of Cyndi Lauper’s’ “She’s So Unusual” record (this is in my heavy rotation on my turntable at home).
It is reminiscent of a few zines I’d read back in the day (whenever the hell that is) but somehow it felt fresh. Can’t go too wrong for the price, only 2.50 for a good score.
August 24, 2018
Panorama
Panorama by Steve KistulentzMy rating: 3 of 5 stars
A plane crash on the eve of the last Millennium causes ripples amongst an interconnected group of people, including a loudmouth talk show host, his ex-girlfriend, his sister, her son, and a host of other players in this ambitious first novel from Steve Kistulentz.
There’s a scene in the classic 1980 movie “Airplane!” where Lloyd Bridges’ character is looking at weather map and says “Johnny, what you make of this?” And Johnny says “I can make it a hat, I can make a brooch…” or something about a Pterodactyl. Anyway, it’s kind of how I felt about this book. On the one hand, I have genuine appreciation for the organization of the whole thing, the way the story is put together amongst the vast array of interconnected characters. But I couldn’t make it into a hat or a brooch and certainly not a pterodactyl…
The bits about the ex-lover of the talk show host, and how she wasn’t getting exactly what she wanted from her new young lover...well, that could make for salacious reading, I suppose. Just not for me. There was no humor to speak of, and on that line I was hoping maybe it would approach Jonathan Franzen’s “Freedom” in the way it made me involved with its many characters even though they were pretty unlikable. It is possible that another person could pick up the same book and be absorbed by the drama. You are welcome to it, I’m just about to return it to the library.
It is pretty brilliantly put together and there is definitely potential for me to read his next book. But as for this one, it’s gonna have to be just ok.
View all my reviews
