Monika Basile's Blog: Confessions of a Bleeding Heart - Posts Tagged "life-changes"
"The Mentalpause" or otherwise known as Happy Birthday to Me
Recently I have been losing my mind.
For example:
“Hey, do you have any ice cream?” he says.
“No. I wish I did.” I say. And then I came up with the most brilliant idea! I excitedly burst forward with, “You know what would be awesome? If we opened a business that delivered ice cream! We could make a fortune…” I start thinking deeply.
And then he says, “Uh, There already is one. It’s called the ice cream truck…”
I was disappointed. Then I started laughing and laughing and laughing at the pure idiocy of it. What the hell is going on?
I have a name for it. It’s called, “The Mentalpause” a more accurate term than menopause or premenopausal or the change of life or getting old or midlife crisis or any of those less pretty terms to signify that I am most likely halfway through. It is a state of mind and I decided to change my thinking. I shall instead go through a glamorous Grand Mentalpause and do it with bells on.
My hot flashes will no longer be that—instead they will be my smoking hot flashes reminding me that I still have time and the desire to be hot one way or another. I will acknowledge that I have been ho tmy whole life and there is no ending of that soon.
Every time I skip a cycle, I will continue to assume I am pregnant. I will pretend, if only for a little bit and pick out names. And then I will thank my lucky stars that mentalpause has hit me and I will do a happy dance knowing that I can have wild sex without the worry of midnight feedings as consequences.
All the glips in my thinking? Well that is just that I am eccentric and worrying about more important issues. My mind is focused on feeding the hungry and healing the sick that I can’t be bothered to remember the ice cream man. He can worry about himself.
The crabbiness that creeps up? SO WHAT? I have spent a half-life worrying and trying to be nice, insisting I be nice. What’s wrong with just being me as long as I am not unkind?
My mouth—my big old mouth that gets me in so much trouble. In another 30 years or so the things that spew forth will finally be acceptable. That is something to look forward to. I can be shocking and others will not judge me—which happens now. They will simply smile and nod their heads, and whisper behind their hands, “Oh, she’s just old…” I should be quite good at it since I have been practicing a lifetime for this moment.
I will wear what I want to wear because I really don’t give a damn. I like my coat of many colors and sparkly shoes and being comfortable in sweatpants and a grungy sweater. Polka dot robes become me and I am rather partial to tiaras and I may crack one of those out soon too.
I am starting the mentalpause and I am changing the mentality of it. No more lamenting my youth. No more wishing I had accomplished so much more or made different choices. Only kicking my heels up, feeling thankful that I am still here…able to experience it and able to laugh at it. I am the lucky one. Some never it make it this far. May this part last a hundred years…
Monika M. Basile
For example:
“Hey, do you have any ice cream?” he says.
“No. I wish I did.” I say. And then I came up with the most brilliant idea! I excitedly burst forward with, “You know what would be awesome? If we opened a business that delivered ice cream! We could make a fortune…” I start thinking deeply.
And then he says, “Uh, There already is one. It’s called the ice cream truck…”
I was disappointed. Then I started laughing and laughing and laughing at the pure idiocy of it. What the hell is going on?
I have a name for it. It’s called, “The Mentalpause” a more accurate term than menopause or premenopausal or the change of life or getting old or midlife crisis or any of those less pretty terms to signify that I am most likely halfway through. It is a state of mind and I decided to change my thinking. I shall instead go through a glamorous Grand Mentalpause and do it with bells on.
My hot flashes will no longer be that—instead they will be my smoking hot flashes reminding me that I still have time and the desire to be hot one way or another. I will acknowledge that I have been ho tmy whole life and there is no ending of that soon.
Every time I skip a cycle, I will continue to assume I am pregnant. I will pretend, if only for a little bit and pick out names. And then I will thank my lucky stars that mentalpause has hit me and I will do a happy dance knowing that I can have wild sex without the worry of midnight feedings as consequences.
All the glips in my thinking? Well that is just that I am eccentric and worrying about more important issues. My mind is focused on feeding the hungry and healing the sick that I can’t be bothered to remember the ice cream man. He can worry about himself.
The crabbiness that creeps up? SO WHAT? I have spent a half-life worrying and trying to be nice, insisting I be nice. What’s wrong with just being me as long as I am not unkind?
My mouth—my big old mouth that gets me in so much trouble. In another 30 years or so the things that spew forth will finally be acceptable. That is something to look forward to. I can be shocking and others will not judge me—which happens now. They will simply smile and nod their heads, and whisper behind their hands, “Oh, she’s just old…” I should be quite good at it since I have been practicing a lifetime for this moment.
I will wear what I want to wear because I really don’t give a damn. I like my coat of many colors and sparkly shoes and being comfortable in sweatpants and a grungy sweater. Polka dot robes become me and I am rather partial to tiaras and I may crack one of those out soon too.
I am starting the mentalpause and I am changing the mentality of it. No more lamenting my youth. No more wishing I had accomplished so much more or made different choices. Only kicking my heels up, feeling thankful that I am still here…able to experience it and able to laugh at it. I am the lucky one. Some never it make it this far. May this part last a hundred years…
Monika M. Basile
