Monika Basile's Blog: Confessions of a Bleeding Heart - Posts Tagged "gratitude"
On Gratitude
I think I do poorly in expressing my gratitude. I never can quite capture my thoughts or even put it into words. I feel like I don’t know how to say it with the actual truth of my feelings behind it in such a way that those I am grateful to can comprehend the magnitude of the meaning they have brought into my life.
There is something about thanking people that puts us in an odd place. There is a fine line between obligatory thanks and true gratitude. It’s a heart thing, something that touches the heart and soul, brings tears of joy or relief and it is a huge thing no matter how small the act was. There are no small acts of kindness, each is large, none are simple but actually complex in that they lead into a ripple effect.
It is hard to put it into words when someone has changed your life. It is hard to articulate that their presence has affected you so deeply along this journey, that you can actually pin point the moment when a difference was made.
Today I try and I know I will somehow fail at saying it correctly, to tell of moments, to speak of the life change kindness has made.
In the beginning there were my parents, who loved me and gave me a good home and a more than average childhood—an exceptional one. I was lucky and blessed to have you. I still am. Mom, the day you told me that you understood my loneliness, that filling my life with the children work, writing etc., nothing could replace the love of a mate—that was the day I knew you understood me, it made us better. And Dad, you stepping in to help me with the kids when I became single—you didn’t have to but I am so grateful because you gave them such love and a great example.
My dear Aunts and Uncles—what a luxury it has been to have each of you as long as we all have had you. Those who are still here and those who have gone on, the lessons you have taught all of us—the fun we all had—the sanctuary’s in the storms of life that all of you have provided—I thank you. I thank you from the very center of my soul.
My sister, I can’t tell it, I can’t explain, you are my dearheart and I am grateful that you are with me always.
My brother and my sweet sis-in-law—there is so much laughter and joy between us no matter how far away you are. “kringle” you know what that will mean my brother.
My Grandpa Sam—forever you are stitched throughout my memory. You were the first storyteller of my life and made me fall in love with the stories. You are in all of us, these little pieces where Grandpa Sam lives on.
My cousins—we are who we are because of each other. We are wonderfully woven together through thick and thin. Not everyone has that kind of family and I am grateful.
My dear co-workers who turned into dearest friends—I feel damn lucky to know you are in my corner in more ways than one.
My best friend Patty—I remember all of it—every single moment and I am grateful for it. It’s what keeps me since you have been gone.
Stephanie—my partner in crime. I am so happy we never lost touch and are still finding the wonders of the universe together.
Mandi—you know why, all the reasons over all these years—you know why I can’t write them here.
My children, each of you are my favorite. I know you were all mad at me that day when I whispered in each of your ears you were my favorite and to keep it a secret. But you never could keep secrets and told each other. I meant it. Each of you has brought me treasures by being in my life. I know each of you will bring the world treasures too. I am thankful for each of you—who you were, who you are, and who you are becoming. You are the culmination of my life.
The man who loves me—the day you accepted all the eccentricities I brought to this relationship and loved me not only in spite of it but because of it—that was the day you became my miracle.
My God—that I am here—even after all the times I have been less than I should have been, the times I missed counting blessings, I am still here to have one more day in this short lifetime to explore this beautiful thing called living. I will never be able to capture the gratitude of that though I know you know exactly what I feel.
I find that I could go on for pages and pages, there are so many people I have crossed paths with that have changed my life— that have touched me and made me better. I have been so damn lucky. We all are. If we have people in the world who love us, we are blessed. There should be no obligation to love back—just a true heart of Thanksgiving.
Monika M. Basile
There is something about thanking people that puts us in an odd place. There is a fine line between obligatory thanks and true gratitude. It’s a heart thing, something that touches the heart and soul, brings tears of joy or relief and it is a huge thing no matter how small the act was. There are no small acts of kindness, each is large, none are simple but actually complex in that they lead into a ripple effect.
It is hard to put it into words when someone has changed your life. It is hard to articulate that their presence has affected you so deeply along this journey, that you can actually pin point the moment when a difference was made.
Today I try and I know I will somehow fail at saying it correctly, to tell of moments, to speak of the life change kindness has made.
In the beginning there were my parents, who loved me and gave me a good home and a more than average childhood—an exceptional one. I was lucky and blessed to have you. I still am. Mom, the day you told me that you understood my loneliness, that filling my life with the children work, writing etc., nothing could replace the love of a mate—that was the day I knew you understood me, it made us better. And Dad, you stepping in to help me with the kids when I became single—you didn’t have to but I am so grateful because you gave them such love and a great example.
My dear Aunts and Uncles—what a luxury it has been to have each of you as long as we all have had you. Those who are still here and those who have gone on, the lessons you have taught all of us—the fun we all had—the sanctuary’s in the storms of life that all of you have provided—I thank you. I thank you from the very center of my soul.
My sister, I can’t tell it, I can’t explain, you are my dearheart and I am grateful that you are with me always.
My brother and my sweet sis-in-law—there is so much laughter and joy between us no matter how far away you are. “kringle” you know what that will mean my brother.
My Grandpa Sam—forever you are stitched throughout my memory. You were the first storyteller of my life and made me fall in love with the stories. You are in all of us, these little pieces where Grandpa Sam lives on.
My cousins—we are who we are because of each other. We are wonderfully woven together through thick and thin. Not everyone has that kind of family and I am grateful.
My dear co-workers who turned into dearest friends—I feel damn lucky to know you are in my corner in more ways than one.
My best friend Patty—I remember all of it—every single moment and I am grateful for it. It’s what keeps me since you have been gone.
Stephanie—my partner in crime. I am so happy we never lost touch and are still finding the wonders of the universe together.
Mandi—you know why, all the reasons over all these years—you know why I can’t write them here.
My children, each of you are my favorite. I know you were all mad at me that day when I whispered in each of your ears you were my favorite and to keep it a secret. But you never could keep secrets and told each other. I meant it. Each of you has brought me treasures by being in my life. I know each of you will bring the world treasures too. I am thankful for each of you—who you were, who you are, and who you are becoming. You are the culmination of my life.
The man who loves me—the day you accepted all the eccentricities I brought to this relationship and loved me not only in spite of it but because of it—that was the day you became my miracle.
My God—that I am here—even after all the times I have been less than I should have been, the times I missed counting blessings, I am still here to have one more day in this short lifetime to explore this beautiful thing called living. I will never be able to capture the gratitude of that though I know you know exactly what I feel.
I find that I could go on for pages and pages, there are so many people I have crossed paths with that have changed my life— that have touched me and made me better. I have been so damn lucky. We all are. If we have people in the world who love us, we are blessed. There should be no obligation to love back—just a true heart of Thanksgiving.
Monika M. Basile
