Atlantic Monthly Contributors's Blog, page 857

Five Best Wednesday Columns

Associated Press

Heather Barr at The New York Times on Afghanistan's women. "The last 12 years have been a time of significant achievements here [in Afghanistan], hard-fought by Afghan activists. Millions of girls have gone to school, women have joined the police and the army and the civil service. 28 percent of the members of Afghanistan’s Parliament are women, and a 2009 law made violence against women a crime," Barr, a senior researcher for Human Rights Watch, explains. "But signs are everywhere that a rollback of women’s rights has begun in anticipation of next year’s deadline for the withdrawal of international combat forces." For example, "reported cases of violence against women went up by 28 percent in the last year, prosecutions increased by only 2 percent." Most egregiously, "virginity" tests have been used to prosecute women for morality crimes. Jayne Huckerby, a human rights lawyer and Duke professor tweets, "Afghanistan: 600 women & girls imprisoned for moral crimes after vaginal examination to test virginity." 

Sean Sullivan at The Washington Post on Obamacare's cost to Obama. "Even if Obama has moved past the lowest low of his presidency, there is no way around the reality that his image has been badly damaged since he triumphed at the polls last fall," Sullivan argues. "The percentage of Americans who say Obama is 'not trustworthy' has jumped from 30 percent to 45 percent since the start of 2013." But "nothing is set in stone. Obama still has time to turn things around. And we may be witnessing the beginning of his comeback. But the hill he has to climb could hardly be any steeper." MSNBC's Karen Finney tweets, "the worst may be behind Obama. But it cost him dearly." 

Maria Konnikova at The New Yorker says health-wise, snoozers are losers. If you hit the snooze button in the morning, "it may seem like you’re giving yourself a few extra minutes to collect your thoughts," Konnikova, a psychologist, writes. "But what you’re actually doing is making the wake-up process more difficult and drawn out. If you manage to drift off again, you are likely plunging your brain back into the beginning of the sleep cycle, which is the worst point to be woken up — and the harder we feel it is for us to wake up, the worse we think we’ve slept." She argues, "if we could just synchronize our sleep more closely with natural light patterns, it would become far easier to wake up." Sports Illustrated writer Richard Deitsch tweets, "If you hit the the snooze button each morning, you'll want to read this @NewYorker piece on the health concerns." Awl contributor Brendan O'Connor notes, "I read this while I was trying to wake up." 

Alec MacGillis at The New Republic argues Obama should talk about inequality. "Last week, the centrist Democratic group Third Way caused quite a dustup with an op-ed in the Wall Street Journal warning Democrats against pursuing the populist path forged by Elizabeth Warren and Bill de Blasio," MacGillis writes. But "a Bloomberg poll released Tuesday night found that by a ratio of 64 percent to 33 percent, Americans say the U.S. no longer offers everyone an equal chance to get ahead, [and] that 68 percent of Americans say the income gap is growing." Democrats would be wise to campaign on this. University of Wisconsin democracy professor Harvey J. Kaye tweets, "Beltway pundits caution Obama that focusing on inequality is bad. They're wrong — and it shows their bias." 

Kevin Roose at Daily Intelligencer on the Volcker Rule. "Yesterday was Volcker Rule Day on Wall Street – the long-anticipated day when the rule reining in risky trading at big Wall Street banks was released, and a phalanx of $800-an-hour lawyers descended on the 71-page document with the tenacity of a pit viper, trying to figure out what it all meant for their big-bank clients and, more important, looking for loopholes," Roose explains. Journalists are arguing over whether the rule works, but Roose says the "Volcker Rule already has worked." He explains, "The goal of the Volcker Rule was never to eliminate risky trading altogether. It was to eliminate the most blatant types of prop trading, and make it easier to examine the other types of trading for evidence of prop-ness. That's more or less what the Volcker Rule will do." 

       

Your Holiday-Party-Small-Talk Guide to the Big/Small Budget Deal

Associated Press/ The Wire

Marvel of marvels, congressional leaders reached agreement (amazing thing No. 1) on a compromise budget package ahead of schedule (amazing thing No. 2). Here's your 30-second, sound-smart-at-the-holiday-party guide to what's in it — and to what happens next.

Why is the budget deal coming out now?

One of the agreements that ended the October government shutdown was that the Republican House (led by Wisconsin Rep. Paul Ryan) and Democratic Senate (led by Washington Sen. Patty Murray) would go into a conference committee to find middle ground between the parties' budget plans. They had a deadline of this Friday, and met it.

So what's in the agreement?

The data below is compiled from reports at , , and . The official summary document has more specifics. Click "See the numbers" for more detail.

The main point is that sequestration — the mandatory spending cuts that went into effect when Congress couldn't reach a compromise earlier this year — gets scaled back somewhat, but not entirely. In total, it's an $85 billion adjustment to what would otherwise be in the budget, with about $1 trillion in spending for 2014 and 2015. The reduction in sequestration is split between defense and non-defense spending about evenly. [SEE THE NUMBERS]

The $85 billion is comprised of:

$45 billion in reduction of sequestration in 2014 (that is: the government can spend $45 billion more than without the deal) $20 billion in sequestration reduction for 2015 $20 billion in other deficit reduction

The actual amount budgeted for 2014 will be $1.012 trillion. For 2015, it will be $1.014 trillion. Two-thirds of the original sequestration cuts will remain in place, as will over $2 trillion in cuts agreed upon in the 2011 budget deal.

In order to offset the increased spending, the deal agrees to raise more money by both increasing fees, including ones collected on airline tickets, and increasing the amount that federal employees (non-military and military alike) contribute to their pensions. [SEE THE NUMBERS]

Specifics about the airline ticket fees aren't yet available, but the summary document describes them as "increases [to] Transportation Security Administration (TSA) fees." It also allows Customs and Border Patrol to continue collecting user fees.

The pension cuts are a little trickier. Federal employees (who have less than five years of service) will contribute 1.3 percent more to their pensions. Members of the armed forces who are already collecting pensions will see their cost-of-living adjustment reduced each year, a change phased in over time. The pension changes will be about $12 billion in savings in total.

There are a number of other trims to budget costs that are fairly esoteric, like capping interest payments to oil and gas royalty repayments.

What isn't in the agreement?

Things to annoy members of both parties!

Republicans are frustrated that the deal doesn't touch spending on social safety net programs like Medicare and Social Security. Democrats are annoyed (as Murray noted last night) that there are no cuts to corporate tax loopholes, and — far more importantly — that unemployment insurance for the long-term unemployed wasn't extended. [MORE ABOUT UNEMPLOYMENT]

Business Insider makes a succinct point about why unemployment insurance for the long-term unemployed should be continued. (You can also read our assessment from last week.) In short: unemployment insurance for the long-term unemployed has historically been maintained as long as the number of long-term unemployed (27 weeks or longer) is at or above 1 percent. It's more than twice that currently.

An extension didn't make it into the deal because, as the Post put it, "Republicans proved hostile even to limited extensions in unemployment insurance." Unemployment insurance is included in the deal in one way: one of the deficit-reduction provisions is that the government will be more aggressive about cutting down on overpayments.

So what's next?

The House and Senate have to vote on the deal, and President Obama has to sign it. It seems likely to pass, but members of both parties have already expressed concern over the provisions. This isn't the deal that either side wanted to see (as befits any compromise), but it's also more limited in scope than many would have liked. In the words of the Los Angeles Times, there's "something for everyone to dislike."

Sen. Tom Coburn reflected one point of Republican opposition, telling Politico that the deal was "the best Paul could get, but it’s not anything I can support" — because it doesn't address spending in the major safety net programs. Rep. Tim Huelskamp, from the party's far-right flank, spoke out against the deal on Twitter, because it's "sending more money to Washington with these so called fees aka TAXES."

Democrats will certainly be frustrated by that lack of an extension to unemployment insurance; several spoke out against a deal that didn't include an extension last week. But it will also be hard for Democrats to swallow cementing sequestration cuts into place over the long term. As the Post put it, "Democrats flatly got beat on sequestration."

For what it's worth, even the little bit of additional government spending is being hailed by the financial industry.

Does this herald a new era of Congressional bipartisanship and problem-solving?

Ha ha, well, probably not.

At the Post, political scientist Sarah Binder writes that she's skeptical. The deal restores "only a sliver of budgetary normalcy." Will the deal "portend additional bipartisan deals around the corner? I’m doubtful," she writes. In part because she has studied Congress for more than five minutes.

Is Paul Ryan going to use this to bolster a future presidential run?

Yes, he is.

       

A Map of All the Countries that Contribute to a Single Jar of Nutella

Globe-trotter. (AP PHOTO)

Popular hazelnut and cocoa spread Nutella has become such a global product that the OECD decided to use it as a case study in its latest report on global value chains.

More From Quartz Parents Are Buying Their Kids All the Wrong Toys The Most Overused Buzzwords on LinkedIn in 2013 Madagascar Is Just About the Only Country Still Struggling with the Bubonic Plague

Some 250,000 tons (227,000 tonnes) of Nutella are now sold across 75 countries around the world every year, according to the OECD. But that’s not what’s amazing about it. Nutella, it turns out, is a perfect example of what globalization has meant for popular foodstuffs: Not only is it sold everywhere, but its ingredients are sourced from all over the place too.

Even though Ferrero International, which makes the stuff, is headquartered in Italy, it has factories in Europe, Russia, North America and South America. And while certain inputs are supplied locally—like, say, the plastic for the bottles or milk—many others are shipped from all over the world. The hazelnuts are from Turkey; the palm oil is from Malaysia; the cocoa is from Nigeria; the sugar is from either Brazil or Europe; and the vanilla flavoring is from France.

The OECD mapped it all out. Have a look:

OECD

       

Danes Annoyed It Took Us So Long to Recognize Their Selfie-Taking Prime Minister

The Copenhagen Post

While America wondered just how mad Michelle was with Barack after selfiegate (not mad at all, apparently), the Danish papers had their own field day with Helle Thorning-Schmidt. But first, they wondered why it took the world long to recognize her. 

In the Jyllands-Posten, a daily paper, a writer noted that at least a couple of big name media outlets failed to confidently i.d. their prime minister. According to the Posten: "'President Obama and David Cameron takes a selfie with an 'unidentified official',' wrote a reporter for the Washington Post directly to Twitter." Yes, an unidentified official, in charge of the unidentified block of land between Germany, Sweden and Norway. The Posten also singled out a very vague USA Today story titled "Click! Obama, Cameron Take a Selfie." USA Today thought they might know who it was, but they weren't sure:

We're not sure whose smartphone was used, though Obama has said he doesn't have an iPhone because of security concerns.

We're also not positive who the other person in the snap is — the AFP photo caption didn't identify her — but it appears to be Danish Prime Minister Helle Thorning-Schmidt.

This all goes back to Agence-France Presse, which neglected to identify Thorning-Schmidt in all her glory. Daily paper Politiken, in a post that was (more or less) titled "Selfie of Obama and Cameron: Yes, but who is she in the middle?" noted that it took AFP two hours to identify Thorning-Schmidt and stop calling her an "unidentified government official." Anna Orye, an AFP photo editor, was "visibly embarrassed" when she spoke with Ritzau, a private Danish news agency, and explained why it took to hours to identify Thorning-Schmidt. Orye wasn't at work at the time the photo went out, but explained that it was a human error, and that the agency sent out about 400 photos a day. 

She also said she hoped that the day's top-selling photo would be something Mandela related, not just the selfie. 

Thorning-Schmidt has not been taking questions about the selfie — pretty much all the outlets mentioned above asked — but that might be because she has bigger things to worry about.  The Copenhagan Post, besides wondering how Thorning-Schmidt "managed to nab a seat beside the leader of the free world," noted that "While Thorning-Schmidt was living large with Cameron and Obama, her government was in disarray after her justice minister Morten Bødskov (S) was forced to resign after he admitted to lying to parliament." (And on Wednesday, her foreign minister resigned due to health issues.)

The Posten found this slightly amusing. "It is not known whether the picture was taken before or after Helle Thorning-Schmidt had been informed that Morten Bødskov resign from the post of Minister of Justice," it noted. Well, she knows now.

       

Who Didn't Get Killed on the 'Sons of Anarchy' Season Finale?

When FX's Sons of Anarchy returns next year for its seventh season, it will be with the fewest surviving cast members yet. The show already bumped off Ron Perlman's Clay Morrow a couple weeks ago. But who met their (brutal, bloody) end in last night's season finale? It might be quicker/less spoilery to say who didn't die ... 

Charlie Hunnam's Jax did NOT get killed on the season finale of Sons of Anarchy.

Katey Sagal's Gemma did NOT get killed on the season finale of Sons of Anarchy.

Tommy Flanagan's Chibs did NOT get killed on the season finale of Sons of Anarchy.

CCH Pounder's D.A. Patterson did NOT get killed on the season finale of Sons of Anarchy.

Omar from The Wire did NOT get killed on the season finale of Sons of Anarchy.

Lilith from Cheers did NOT get killed on the season finale of Sons of Anarchy.

HEY LOOK AWAY IF YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE WHO REALLY DID GET KILLED ON LAST NIGHT'S SONS OF ANARCHY SEASON FINALE.

So, yeah, not so fast, Maggie Siff's Tara Knowles (and also  Rockmund Dunbar's Eli Roosevelt.)

       

SAG Nominations Show Love for '12 Years,' 'August,' and 'The Butler'

Sony/Fox Searchlight

12 Years a Slave staked its claim in the awards season race this morning with the announcement of the Screen Actors Guild Awards, but it was joined by strong support for Lee Daniels' The Butler, Dallas Buyers Club, and August: Osage County. 

Steve McQueen's slavery drama picked up nominations for its cast, its lead actor Chiewetel Ejiofor, its supporting actress Lupita Nyong'o, and its supporting actor Michael Fassbender. 

Announced just a day before the Golden Globe nominations are set to come out, the actors nominating their peers for these honors shut out Martin Scorsese's The Wolf of Wall Street completely and did not award Robert Redford's widely lauded performance in All Is Lost. Meanwhile, the actors showed their favor for the strong ensembles in films like August: Osage County, which is currently considered an underdog in the Oscar race. James Gandolfini emerged with a posthumous nomination for Enough Said. 

On the TV side of things, 30 Rock and Breaking Bad got farewell love, Mad Men was ignored, and Orange Is the New Black could not break in.  

The actual awards ceremony takes place January 18. 

Cast in a Motion Picture

12 Years a Slave
American Hustle
August: Osage County
Dallas Buyers Club
Lee Daniels' The Butler

Male Actor in a Leading Role 

Bruce Dern, Nebraska
Chiwetel Ejiofor, 12 Years a Slave
Tom Hanks, Captain Phillips
Matthew McConaughey, Dallas Buyers Club
Forest Whitaker, Lee Daniels' The Butler

Female Actor in a Leading Role

Cate Blanchett, Blue Jasmine
Sandra Bullock, Gravity
Judi Dench, Philomena
Meryl Streep, August: Osage County
Emma Thompson, Saving Mr. Banks

Male Actor in a Supporting Role

Barkhad Abdi, Captain Phillips
Daniel Bruhl, Rush
Michael Fassbender, 12 Years a Slave
James Gandolfini, Enough Said
Jared Leto, Dallas Buyers Club

Female Actor in a Supporting Role

Jennifer Lawrence, American Hustle
Lupita Nyong'o, 12 Years a Slave
Julia Roberts, August: Osage County
June Squibb, Nebraska 
Oprah Winfrey, Lee Daniels' The Butler

Ensemble in a Drama Series

Boardwalk Empire
Breaking Bad
Downton Abbey
Game of Thrones
Homeland

Ensemble in a Comedy Series

30 Rock
Arrested Development
The Big Bang Theory
Modern Family
Veep

Male Actor in a Drama Series

Steve Buscemi, Boardwalk Empire
Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad
Jeff Daniels, The Newsroom 
Peter Dinklage, Games of Thrones
Kevin Spacey, House of Cards

Female Actor in a Drama Series

Claire Danes, Homeland
Anna Gunn, Breaking Bad
Jessica Lange, American Horror Story
Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey
Kerry Washington, Scandal

Male Actor in a Comedy Series

Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock 
Jason Bateman, Arrested Development
Ty Burrell, Modern Family
Don Cheadle, House of Lies
Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory

Female Actor in a Comedy Series

Mayim Bialik, The Big Bang Theory
Julie Bowen, Modern Family
Edie Falco, Nurse Jackie
Tina Fey, 30 Rock
Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Veep

Male Actor in a Television Movie or Miniseries

Matt Damon, Behind the Candelabra
Michael Douglas, Behind the Candelabra
Jeremy Irons, The Hollow Crown
Rob Lowe, Killing Kennedy 
Al Pacino, Phil Spector

Female Actor in a Television Movie or Miniseries

Angela Bassett, Betty & Coretta 
Helena Bonham Carter, Burton and Taylor
Holly Hunter, Top of the Lake
Helen Mirren, Phil Spector
Elisabeth Moss, Top of the Lake

       

The Verdict Is In: Obama's Selfie Was Appropriate

The photographer who snapped this now infamous photo of President Obama and Prime Ministers David Cameron and Helle Thorning-Schmidt posing for a selfie has weighed in: Obama's selfie was "natural" and Michelle Obama's unamused look was just an unamused "resting face." After all, she was joking around too.

The AFP's Roberto Schmidt penned a blog post explaining that President Obama and his prime minister pals weren't committing a grave offense when the three of them decided to act like 16-year-olds and mug for a selfie during a memorial service for Nelson Mandela. (I, again, disagree with my colleague Philip Bump who has erroneously argued that it wasn't technically a selfie.)

Since Schmidt takes photographs for a living, his opinion carries a lot of weight in this arena and he says they were acting in the spirit of the celebration:

At the time, I thought the world leaders were simply acting like human beings, like me and you. I doubt anyone could have remained totally stony faced for the duration of the ceremony, while tens of thousands of people were celebrating in the stadium. For me, the behaviour of these leaders in snapping a selfie seems perfectly natural. 

He added that Michelle Obama's face of annoyance during the selfie wasn't shade or annoyance, but rather an unamused resting face snapped at one moment in time. 

I later read on social media that Michelle Obama seemed to be rather peeved on seeing the Danish prime minister take the picture. But photos can lie. In reality, just a few seconds earlier the first lady was herself joking with those around her, Cameron and Schmidt included. Her stern look was captured by chance.

So there you have it. Obama's selfie wasn't an egregious offense. Michelle Obama is actually a goofball. And America is not in a death spiral. Though we're still waiting on photos Michelle Obama goofing around to prove this side-eye wasn't what it looked like. 
       

India's Supreme Court Re-Criminalizes Gay Sex

AP

The Indian Supreme Court reinstated a law from the 1860s on Wednesday that criminalizes same-sex intercourse throughout the country. Those convicted under the colonial-era law would face imprisonment for 10 years to life. A two-judge bench from the nation's highest court reversed a 2009 decision from the New Delhi High Court that discarded the law as unconstitutional. Conservative religious groups in the country then appealed the decision. Supreme Court judges G S Singhvi and S J Mukhopadhaya sided with those groups, but added that the country's legislature should ultimately make a final decision on the law. 

The law, Section 377 of the Indian Penal code, doesn't mention homosexuality in particular, although the law was designed to outlaw sodomy, along with other sexual acts deemed immoral at the time. It reads,"whoever voluntarily has carnal intercourse against the order of nature with any man, woman or animal, shall be punished." As written, any penetrative homosexual act is criminalized.

Although the law is rarely enforced, the threat of enforcement has been used in the past to harass NGOs working on AIDS prevention efforts, sex workers, and LGBT individuals, according to a 2006 report from Human Rights Watch. But the court didn't seem keen on applying the misuse of the law to its constitutional standing. "The mere fact that the section is misused by police authorities and others is not a reflection of the vires of the section," today's Supreme Court judgement reads, adding, "It might be a relevant factor for the Legislature to consider." 

For gay rights activists in the country, the decision is a disappointing development in a legal battle that began over a decade ago. But the Naz Foundation (India) Trust, the group behind a challenge to the anti-homosexuality law, isn't completely out of avenues in the country's judicial system. The Supreme Court's decision can be appealed with a review petition, as The Wall Street Journal explains, although that petition could be rejected. A lawyer for one of the gay-rights petitioners in the case has already promised to appeal to a larger, five-judge bench of the Supreme Court. 

A defender of the law, Meenakshi Lekhi of the socially-conservative Bharatiya Janata Party, claimed that the measure is only enforced in cases of non-consensual sex, because India's rape laws only criminalize assaults against women. "If an act – be it homosexual or heterosexual – is consensual, there is no victim, so there is no complainant and no crime," she said to the Journal. Obviously, Lekhi's argument does little to explain why advocates don't lobby for a change to the country's rape laws instead, which have already undergone a series of reforms this year in the wake of a brutal rape and murder of a college student last year.

       

Kate Winslet Ushers in a New Generation of Rocknroll (Kate Winslet Had a Baby)

REUTERS

Today in celebrity gossip: Kate Winslet has procreated with Ned Rocknroll, Justin Bieber involved himself in Philippine misery, and Adam Shankman checked into rehab.

For the more discerning enthusiasts of celebrity procreation, the world gained an especially esteemed scion this week in the newborn son of Kate Winslet! (We use high language for occasions such as these.) Though the so far unnamed child is Winslet's third overall, it's her first with new husband Ned Rocknroll, nephew of British tycoon Richard Branson and selfless benefactor of internet headline writers everywhere. Because his last name is Rocknroll, you see, which is a 100% perfect A+ last name that will never be unfun to type. Rocknroll. Rocknroll. Ugh, so fun. Anyway, all parties are doing well health-wise, and Winslet continues to be one of the few redeeming aspects of all of Hollwood. Congratulations, everybody! [Page Six]

REUTERS

Last month's horrifying Philippine typhoon has so far claimed over 6,000 lives, but residents of Tacloban now have at least one reason to smile about it: They've just experienced a visit from Justin Bieber! The occasionally nightmarish Canadian micro-hunk visited the typhoon-ravaged city to shoot some hoops, play some jams, and generally bring attention from his Belieber Army to the beleaguered area. Which, okay! That is a perfectly admirable use of one's fame and fanbase. Perhaps Justin Bieber has turned over a new leaf, has begun to mature, has become mildly tolerable. Haha nope: Only two days earlier he was overheard calling a bikini-clad Australian fan a "beached whale" who needed to "go on The Biggest Loser." Oh, well. Win some, lose some, Justin Bieber some. [Page Six; Us Weekly]

Today in Kanye: At the recent San Antonio stop of Yeezus' Yeezus Tour, a fan "continuously heckled" the fine artist to remove the decorative face mask completely obscuring his face. Kanye West proceeded to single the woman out: "You tryin' to tell me how to give you my art?" But the question, unfortunately, was rhetorical. The trifling fan was quickly escorted from the arena by concert security. When the crowd, seemingly in unison, or perhaps merely inside his head, openly questioned this decision, Kanye West responded "Don't f***ing heckle me. I'm Kanye motherf***ing West." Kanye West raised a good point, in my opinion. [Daily Mail]

Oh, here is an Instagram selfie of Kim Kardashian paying tribute to Elizabeth Taylor:

Golden Era Hollywood fans, consider yourselves TROLL'D. [Instagram]

Choreographer, Rock of Ages director, and part-time So You Think You Can Dance manic camera-hog Adam Shankman has admitted himself into a rehab facility for an undisclosed reason. Absent actual facts, it's probably just safe to assume he's there for "exhaustion." Which is the street name for cocaine. But again, who can say? Seems like it'd be slander to suggest Adam Shankman went to rehab for cocaine, right? Irresponsible journalism at the very least. Anyway, Adam Shankman is in rehab where he will hopefully get some rest, regain his health, energize his spirit, and, fingers-crossed, decide to quit directing forever as his entire resumé is a fever-dream nightmare. Get well, Adam Shankman! [People]

The day neither starts nor ends without news of a former child star's most recent foibles, and here are at least three: First up, were you aware that Amanda Bynes has been released from rehab and is free to walk the earth again? TMZ recently snapped a photo of the troubled former actress enjoying a visit to Disneyland ("enjoying a visit to Disneyland" = applying mascara in a Matterhorn toboggan). Still though, she seemed relatively normal and low-key, right? Maybe we should just chalk up this Modern American subplot as a happily-ever-after situation and quickly move on before the realities of her life depress us all over again? [TMZ]

REUTERS

Meanwhile, and perhaps in response to Joe Jonas' recent Vulture tell-most, former Disney Channel star and current X-Factor judge Demi Lovato has opened up about the extent of her drug and mental health problems. As the 21-year-old told Access Hollywood, in the throes of her addiction she used to smuggle "exhaustion" onto airplanes in order to keep her constant "exhaustion" habit going, as she apparently couldn't last 30-minutes without another hit of "exhaustion." Additionally, Lovato revealed that her eating disorders first showed up when she was "8 or 9 years old" and later got so bad that she "would throw up and it would just be blood." Have a great rest of the week, everybody. [Access Hollywood]

Our third and final story in former child star non-glory: The ongoing row between Lindsay Lohan and Barron Hilton has taken an eerie (yet weirdly admirable) turn for the non-publicized. Although Paris Hilton's younger brother had been threatening Lohan with legal action for her role in allegedly encouraging a thug-friend to beat him up BAD, he's apparently fallen silent with authorities and now seems reluctant to press charges. Radar Online's working theory? Incriminating photos may have surfaced that could undercut Hilton's side of the story. Or something. Does anybody care about this? Rich jerks got into fisticuffs at a party and Lindsay Lohan continues to surround herself with bad people. Can we go back to talking about Tom Daley again? Feeling VERY nostalgic for last week already. [Radar Online]

       

President Obama Took a Selfie at Mandela's Memorial

Not content with embarrassing America by shaking hands with Raul Castro at Nelson Mandela's funeral memorial, President Obama also took time to take a dorky (tacky?) selfie with his prime minister pals David Cameron and Helle Thorning-Schmidt:

AFP/Getty Images

Michelle Obama is clearly annoyed. Like way more annoyed than she was during the inauguration, when she was accused of throwing shade at John Boehner. This looks like pure shade (though there is a delicious theory that Michelle Obama is just not all too fond of the Danish Prime Minister Thorning-Schmidt and not the selfie itself). 

Michelle, of course, is voicing the annoyance of the nation. A couple of months ago, the United States was swept into a debate whether our country was in a downward spiral because teens were Instagramming themselves at funerals. And now, our nation's most visible role model, along with the U.K.'s and Denmark's, are all shamelessly selfie-ing themselves at the memorial of one of the greatest heroes this world will ever see. 

It remains to be seen whether or not America will now plunge into obscurity under the weight of all these selfies.